A Fool's Redemption | By : Grumblebear Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > InuYasha/Kagome Views: 23728 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story. |
Chapter 16 – Distortion in the Mix
The moment Kagome's shift ended, she went straight back
upstairs to the tower's top floor. But instead of heading home, she
turned in the opposite direction as she stepped out of the elevator
and walked down the corridor toward Naraku's apartment loft. All
three princes and her uncle lived on the city's highest level. Other
than their apartments, the conservatory, and a couple lofts that
weren't currently occupied, there was nothing else up this far. It
wasn't hard to find which door was his. It was the only one she'd
occasionally noticed him coming and going from.
It was ironic, how desperate she'd been to get through
her shift so she could come find Naraku, and now that she was
standing at his door, all she wanted to do was run away. Trying to
keep her hand from shaking, she lifted it, knocked solidly and
waited. It felt as if hours passed rather than seconds before the
door finally opened. But the face that greeted her wasn't Naraku's.
“Can
I help you?” It was one of his assistants, the smaller, leaner
of the two. His dark hair was slicked back, and he peered down at her
through a pair of smart-looking glasses. This one must be
the brains, she thought. There
was no sign of the brawny one behind him.
“Hi,”
she started nervously. “May I speak to Naraku, please?”
“He's
not here.”
She struggled to keep the disappointment and frustration
off her face. “Oh.”
“He's
meeting with some business partners from another city today,”
the assistant explained. “He probably won't be available until
later tonight.”
“I
see.”
“You
can try catching him on his terrace,” he offered.
“I'm
working tonight,” Kagome said, giving him a little smile.
He returned it with an understanding one of his own.
“Ah. Well, he should be around tomorrow afternoon, if you want
to try then.”
“I
will. Thank you.”
As the door closed, she turned and headed slowly back
down the corridor, all hope of setting straight the mess she'd gotten
herself into gone, at least for the day. She paused at the elevator,
considering her options: go back to Inuyasha's loft and risk another
fight, or find someplace to hide for the rest of the afternoon. She
knew she should go back. It was part of her job. But he was probably
still there, sulking under his blankets. If she went back now and he
wasn't asleep or otherwise occupied he might start in on her again,
and the last thing she wanted was a repeat of their earlier
confrontation.
There
was one place she could hide, if she chose that option: her old
apartment, down on the 49th floor. Her uncle had made the
decision to hold it for her instead of turning it over to someone
else. 'Just in case,' he'd said. Kagome didn't know in case of what,
but she assumed he'd wanted to provide her with some kind of refuge
from Inuyasha, in the event she found herself needing one. And that
was exactly what she wanted at the moment, a place to hide.
But even as her finger lifted to touch the call button,
she knew it was the wrong decision. Hiding, even though it bought her
some time, would only do more harm than good. If he was in his
apartment and she didn't show like she was supposed to, it would
raise his suspicions, not to mention his ire, even more. She'd
already added an argument to the list of things she needed to
apologize for. Avoiding him would just make that list longer.
Besides, if she went back and apologized now, not only
could she perhaps regain some of the ground she'd lost with him, it
might also serve to take some of the sting out of the confession she
knew she'd eventually have to make. And if he resumed his pestering
about the night before, she'd just be honest and tell him that she'd
drank too much and passed out. It was the truth, even if it was only
half. Hopefully it would get him to back off, for a while at least.
Kagome's new plan didn't stop the call button from
mocking her decision, though. It glowed alluringly, daring her to
change her mind. Giving it a defiant glare, she turned away from the
elevator and continued down the hall to her own doorway. With a deep
breath to still her nerves, she walked in.
He wasn't in his bed like she'd expected, nor in his
bathroom. She searched the apartment, calling out to him, her voice
echoing back to her off the high ceiling, but it was the only sound
she heard. Inuyasha wasn't there. It wasn't a work day for him, so
where had he run off to?
A note placed on her bed, penned in his messy writing,
explained his absence.
'Got called into a meeting,' it read. 'Won't be coming
home before going out tonight. Be on the terrace by 9:30.'
She sighed and tossed it away. So much for shoring up
her courage and making amends. That made two perfectly good plans of
action spoiled by meetings.
“Shit,” she groaned, her brief conversation
with Naraku's assistant suddenly coming to mind. What if the two men
were in the same meeting? They'd be together all afternoon. What if
Naraku said something?
No, that was ridiculous. Naraku was a gentleman. She
didn't think he was the kind of man to goad others into fights,
especially while conducting business. And there were also the words
he'd spoken to her in the atrium the night before. He'd said he
didn't want to come between her and Inuyasha. She had to hope that
meant he wouldn't go out of his way to cause trouble between them,
either. Besides, there was always the chance that Inuyasha's meeting
wasn't the same as Naraku's.
Left
with no other thoughts to ease her apprehension, but not wanting to
sit idle with nothing to do but worry away the rest of the day, she
quickly began formulating ways to fill her time, and then set to
work. By the end of the afternoon she'd run a few errands, given the
apartment a light cleaning, straightened her closet, taken a shower,
prepared their normal dinner—two
sandwiches, one for each of them—and
eaten her own. Dressed and ready for the evening by nine-twenty, she
rode the elevator down to the atrium floor, and was pleased to
realize she'd done very little worrying like she'd thought she would.
All the busy work had succeeded in keeping her mind distracted. Now
she just had to get through the evening without a fight.
A galaxy of star birth greeted her as she entered the
hall and made her way up to Inuyasha's terrace. Thousands of gleaming
points filled the 'sky', nestled among luminous gas clouds that
radiated white and colors of orange, pink and turquoise. Kagome
almost hated to look away to watch the stairs as she climbed them.
This was not a night to enjoy the atmosphere, at least not yet. Not
until she'd undone some of the damage she'd caused. Despite the
effort to keep a clear and calm head, she found her nerves acting up
again as she climbed the stairs. But this time she managed to silence
all the what-ifs floating through her mind with the knowledge that
she had a plan now. If she stuck too it, hopefully nothing would go
wrong. She wiped her hands on her pants as she stepped onto the top
landing, whisking away the thin layer of sweat that had formed there,
and started through the door. But her feet slowed and stopped before
she made it all the way in.
Inuyasha was standing just inside, along the railing,
looking down at the thin early-night crowd below. His white hair fell
in a wave down his back and over his shoulders, catching the colors
of the stars as they swirled overhead. He stood casually with his
hands in his pockets, slouching a bit, but still somehow managing to
appear poised, his shoulders back, chest out. For him, it was an
unusually elegant pose, and at that moment it was easy to see why so
many admired him. To think that a single drunken mistake might loose
her the opportunity to see him like this made her heart ache.
Pushing the unwelcome thought away, she stepped forward.
He flicked an ear in her direction as she approached but made no
other move to acknowledge her when she stopped beside him.
“I
have your dinner” she said, handing him the paper-wrapped
sandwich she'd brought, pairing it with a smile.
He turned his face to her, and as he did, she cursed the
overhead illusions that just moments before she'd praised. His eyes
were diamonds and gold in the light, and they locked hers to him as
easily as if he'd reached up and taken her chin in his hand.
He said nothing for a moment, watching her closely with
those eyes as if trying to get an idea of her mood. “I'm sorry
about this morning,” he said finally, taking the offered
sandwich.
She stared at him, thunderstruck by the sudden apology.
His eyes weren't helping. It took her a moment to get her voice
working. “It's okay,” she said. “I'm sorry, too. I
was being an ass, and you didn't deserve me getting nasty like that.”
He smiled softly, and it was beautiful. It was all she
could do not to grab his face and pull it down to hers. He spared her
when he turned his attention back to the crowd below, unwrapping the
sandwich.
“Thanks
for dinner. I'm starving,” he said just before shoving a good
third of it into his mouth.
“Didn't
they feed you at the meeting?”
“Not
enough,” he answered around the oversized bite.
“What
was it about?” she asked.
“Just
some bullshit business meeting that I had no reason to go to. For
some reason, Naraku insisted me and Kouga had to be there. I don't
know why, though. It didn't have much to do with either of us.”
So that answered it then. They had been in the same
meeting. But it was obvious nothing about the night before had been
said, and she breathed out her relief.
“My
entire day off wasted,” he grumbled through another mouthful.
“Sorry,”
she said.
He snorted, licking the bread crumbs off his fingers.
“Not your fault,” he said as he crumpled the paper
wrapper and stuffed it in his pocket.
“Ah,
don't do that,” she said, reaching out a hand. “I'll
throw it away.”
“It's
just paper.”
“It's
got mayo on it.”
He rolled his hip, the one with the pocket, toward her,
grinning shrewdly. “You're welcome to reach in there and get
it.”
Kagome
met the challenge with a dry look, then shoved her fingers into his
pocket, yanking out the paper before he had time to pull off another
move similar to the one he'd made in the bathroom earlier that
morning. She could sense he wanted to. It seemed to be his favorite
game: make her reach for something then grab ahold. But he kept his
hands to himself as she turned and walked to the mini bar, depositing
the paper in a waste bin. She paused and took a deep breath, feeling
some of the tension slip out of her shoulders. Things between them
were okay for now, and it was a small blessing that she was
determined to savor for as long as she could. Please let
this last for just a little while longer,
she thought.
As if both eager to let things get back to normal, they
quickly settled into their familiar nightly routine, Inuyasha taking
up his half-hearted role of host for the people who soon began
arriving on the terrace, and Kagome at the door with little to do but
greet them and enjoy the view. Occasionally, she would sweep her eyes
across Naraku's terrace, but either he wasn't there or was someplace
she couldn't see him.
It's
not like I can go over there and talk to him tonight, anyway,
she thought, giving up the search for the third time.
A light sparkle of laughter caught her ear from just
outside the door. Normally it wouldn't be anything she'd pay
attention to, the entire hall was one big party, after all. But for
some reason it sent the skin on the back of her neck crawling. There
was something nasty in the sound.
“Inuyasha!”
a woman's voice called from the doorway. Kagome turned and realized
it was the red-eyed woman who'd dropped the wine bottle so many
nights ago. Bristling, she glared at the woman and her two
companions, one of which was the same woman she'd seen between
Inuyasha's legs later that same night. The first one ignored Kagome
as she drifted by, but the other two didn't, each showing a little
flash of teeth as they passed. They were smiling, but there was
malice in their eyes.
Kagome watched as they walked over to Inuyasha and
greeted him in a way she found sickeningly flirtatious. She was
pleased to see, however, that Inuyasha seemed less than thrilled by
their hugs and the kisses on his cheek, the sexy little half-smile
he'd once used to welcome women now nowhere in sight.
“Haven't
seen you in a while, Kagura,” he said to the red-eyed one, as
if forcing himself to make idle talk. It was true. She hadn't been
around much since the incident in the glass room. Kagome certainly
hadn't missed her. She didn't think Inuyasha had either.
“It
has been a while, hasn't it?” she agreed, sidling up next to
him.
Kagome noticed that the malice had completely faded from
the trio's eyes now, replaced with nothing but sweet adoration. Soon,
the group grew to include a few of the other people on the terrace,
and the tension in Inuyasha seemed to ease a bit as the focus shifted
away from him and onto others. Minutes passed into almost an hour of
easy discourse, with the three women keeping a relaxed distance, but
their gazes remained focused on him in a too-bright gaze that Kagome
found unsettling.
Eventually, one person wandered away, then another, and
it looked as though the group was about to dissolve, when Kagura
turned toward Kagome as if noticing her for the first time. “Ah!”
she exclaimed, grabbing Inuyasha's arm and pulling him in Kagome's
direction, grinning like a cat going in for the kill.
“You,”
she said, pointing at Kagome, speaking loud enough to catch
everyone's attention. “You, my dear, need to tell me how you do
it.”
“What?”
Kagome stammered as Kagura stopped in front of her, still holding
tightly onto Inuyasha's arm.
Kagome flashed him a confused stare, wondering what the
woman could possibly want with her, but he looked just as perplexed,
and more than a little annoyed.
“Kagura,”
he said in a warning voice.
“Oh,
it's alright,” she assured him sweetly, waving off his concern
with a little laugh. “What's your name again?” she asked
Kagome.
“Kagome,”
Inuyasha answered for her.
“Ah,
right. You're quite the charmer, aren't you?” she asked, venom
in her pretty smile as she stared down Kagome.
“What
are you talking about?” Inuyasha asked the woman.
“I
just wanted to tell your assistant here,” Kagura said,
narrowing her eyes, “that one prince is quite enough.”
The malice was back, and it snapped at Kagome like a whip as Kagura
added, “Two is being greedy.”
Kagome
felt her heart drop to her feet, and suddenly she couldn't breathe.
No!
“It's
not fair,” one of the other women said, appearing over Kagura's
shoulder. “You can't have both Inuyasha and Naraku.”
Please, no!
“Kagura,
what...” Inuyasha asked, staring down at the red eyed woman as
if couldn't understand her words.
“They
were up here last night, doing naughty things together,” Kagura
said, a hint of accusation and indignation in her tone.
“We
saw them from Naraku's terrace. Everyone over there did,” the
third woman said from where she stood a few feet away. “They
were all over each other.”
Inuyasha turned to Kagome with a disbelieving snort.
“That's...” he began, but stopped as his eyes met hers.
The
shameful truth was all over her face, and she knew it, but there was
no way to hide it. Say something! Her
throat convulsed, trying to force out some sound, but nothing came.
She wanted to scream in denial, wanted to launch herself at Kagura in
a rage, dig the woman's eyes from their sockets with her thumb and
squeeze the unnatural color from them. But his words, when he spoke
again, washed the anger from her with a fresh wave of cold fear.
“That's
not true,” he breathed, standing very still, and it was clear
he didn't believe his own words.
Kagura pulled back from him then, an expert mix of
embarrassment and concern covering her face. “You didn't know?”
He didn't answer. He didn't even appear to have heard
the question as he stared down at Kagome.
Her
mouth moved, but again, nothing came out. He can't find out
like this!
“Oh,
God, Inuyasha. I thought you knew already,” Kagura said
quietly. Then she added with remorseful softness, “Everyone
knows. I thought...I'm so sorry.”
Inuyasha took a few steps forward, backing Kagome
against the terrace railing. With him looming over her so
intimidatingly, she found she was no longer able to meet his eyes,
and she turned her face down, fixing her gaze to his stomach. She
could feel his breath coming out in harsh waves against her bangs.
“Is
it true?” he growled, his voice tight, low enough for only the
two of them to hear.
She felt like a drowning woman in her mind, desperately
reaching out to grab for any words, any explanation that might save
her. There must be something she could say to control the damage.
“I...” she started, paused to swallow her dread as best
she could, then tried again. “I was going to tell you.”
It came out in a whisper. “I don't know what happened...”
Her voice trailed off.
“Did
you fuck him?” he asked, his tone stinging.
“No!
I swear!” she answered quickly, snapping her eyes up to his,
feeling her own flash of anger at the allegation. She had to solidify
her innocence in that, at the very least. Naraku had said they'd only
kissed. It was the truth as far as she knew.
But his gaze sunk her heart even further. His trust, his
warmth, had disappeared. It was as if all the light had gone out of
his eyes. She looked away again, swallowing back a hateful lump that
threatened to rise up her throat and spill into her mouth.
“Why
did you kiss him?”
“I
don't know.” Again, it was the truth. She still had no answers
to give him. “I can't remember.”
He was quiet again for a few moments, but when he
finally did speak again, the chill in his voice lanced straight
through her heart. It was the same tone he'd used on her the night
she'd sneaked her way onto the terrace to demand an audience with
him, the same cold, disgusted voice she'd never wanted to hear again.
“So
that's why you wouldn't kiss me this morning,” he said softly.
“It wasn't me you wanted to be kissing.”
“No!”
Her eyes flew to his face as she suddenly found her voice. “That
wasn't—”
“You
made me look like a fucking idiot,” he hissed through his
teeth, cutting her off. He turned and began walking away.
“Inuyasha!”
She took a step after him, but the fierce glare he threw over his
shoulder stopped her.
“Whatever
it is you have to say, I don't care.”
*****
He did the most spiteful thing he could think of at that
moment and grabbed the elbows of Kagura's two friends, pulling them
with him toward the shadows of the back terrace. They didn't resist,
and from the looks they'd been giving him since arriving, he hadn't
expected them to. He could hardly see straight through the anger
narrowing his vision as he marched under the canopy and released one
of the women to swipe at a loose section of curtain, pulling it to
hide them from the rest of the terrace. The women made surprised,
delighted little murmurs at the sudden turn in events, but he barely
registered the sounds, hardly felt as their hands descend on his
skin, couldn't have cared less when his clothing began falling away.
All he could think about, all he knew, was anger.
Consuming, vengeful anger. Anger like he hadn't felt since he'd
stained his hands with the blood of the scientists so many years ago.
It was bitter in his mouth like bile, raging in his veins like
poison.
How
could she do this to him? How,
after all this time? And here, on his
terrace! Did she hate him so much that she'd wanted to not only
betray him but belittle him as well? He just didn't understand. She'd
smiled at him, supported him, spoken such kind words to him. She'd
broken down his walls and rebuilt them with walls of her own, made of
trust, built so high he hadn't been able to see the truth beyond. And
then, as soon as he'd left her alone for a few days, she'd run off to
another man. Even just a few minutes ago, he'd opened up to her,
swallowing his pride from their earlier confrontation, trying to ease
the tension between them and show her he wasn't mad anymore. He was
trying to be better, for her. Now he realized he'd been a god damned
fool.
Wound
her, humiliate her, the same way she did to you.
The thought incited him as eager hands pushed him back onto the bed
he hadn't used in over a month, nimble fingers working to remove his
pants. Staring up through the canopy as they slid the last of his
clothing away, a part of him wanted to look in Kagome's direction, to
see if she was watching as he allowed all of her hard work to be
stripped away and destroyed.
But the moment their mouths descended on him, it was as
if his mind, drowning in anger, suddenly rose up to break the surface
of some storm-swept water, gasping for breath. These women, their
hands, their mouths, their bodies, were not what he wanted. He
realized with a shudder that all he really wanted was to curl up in a
corner, alone, and scream until his voice gave out.
He pushed them away with shaking hands and stood,
grabbing for his clothes.
“What's
wrong,” one of them asked.
He ignored the question as he yanked his pants on, then
paused to consider the women. They knelt on the bed before him,
mostly naked, looking up with hungry, lust-filled eyes that promised
a night full of all sorts of carnal delights. It was a sight that,
not so long ago, he might have found stimulating, but now it only
repulsed him.
God
damn Kagome. It seemed she'd
destroyed not only his trust but his libido as well.
When one of them lifted a hand toward him, he quickly
stepped out of her reach. “Don't touch me,” he muttered,
turning a thought over in his mind.
Just
because he wasn't in the mood to play didn't mean he had to let every
one else know. The curtain was pulled, no one could see what was
happening beyond it. As far as anyone else on the terrace knew, he
was back here buried beneath these two. Let them, let Kagome, think
that. It would still hurt her just as badly as if it were the truth.
“Don't
you want to play?” one of the women asked, rolling out her lips
in a sensuous pout.
“No,”
he answered truthfully. “I want to watch the two of you.”
That was a lie.
They watched in silence as he turned and headed deeper
into the shadows, to a lonely chaise settled in the corner along the
back wall. It was only a few yards from the bed, but it would be far
enough away that he could feel somewhat alone and still make the
women think he was paying attention. After they got going he doubted
they'd notice him much, anyway. From what he remembered, these two
were like that.
He sat heavily and looked to them, pretending to wait.
But when they started, even though his eyes were on them, he didn't
see them. Their pale figures blended together with those of the
people moving beyond the curtain, forming one large blurred canvas
that he stared through with empty eyes.
It was then he realized he was shaking. Folding his arms
across his chest, he slowly took a few deep breaths, trying to calm
himself. He was still furious, but he didn't want his nerves showing
once the charade was over. He would emerge from the shadows appearing
confident and fully satiated, completely indifferent to and unharmed
by the revelation of his assistant's indiscretions.
Beyond
that, he had no idea what he was going to do. Forcing his vision to
clear for a moment, he looked through the gauzy curtain to the spot
where he'd left Kagome standing. She was no longer there. Probably
ran away in shame, he thought
smugly, trying to convince himself he didn't care. He laid his head
back and stared up through the canopy, absently noticing that all the
color seemed to have gone out of the sky.
He sensed the figure moving toward him through the
shadows before he saw it, but stubbornly ignored the person until a
glass held by a feminine hand and filled with a dark liquid floated
into his line of sight.
“Too
upset to get it up?” the woman's voice asked as she held the
drink out for him.
Inuyasha sighed. Kagura had always been the goading
type. If she were a man, he might have entertained the idea of
sending her back across the terrace with his fist. Instead, he
considered the offering. He knew better than to mix alcohol with
anger, but one probably wouldn't hurt. He reached up to take the
glass and lowered it to his mouth, holding his breath so the strong
smell of the liquor wouldn't help change his mind. A fourth of the
liquid disappeared with one heavy swallow. He could feel Kagura's
eyes on him as she settled herself against the arm of the chaise.
“I
am sorry you had to find out like that,” she said.
That earned her a derisive snort. “I think you
enjoyed it.”
She shrugged. “Someone had to say something. You
don't think she needed to be called out?”
“Not
like that,” he said. “You could have done it in private.
Didn't you think it would be embarrassing for me?”
“I
thought you already knew. Everyone else does. It's been spreading
like weeds around here all day: Red Prince's assistant caught
two-timing with the Black Prince.”
“Bullshit,
you thought I knew. You think I would have had her with me tonight if
I did?”
“I
could have said nothing and let you keep looking like a fool. Would
you have preferred that?”
“I'd
have preferred,”
he said, carefully pushing his words through his teeth, “you'd
not gone about letting me know in front of a god damn crowd. That's
all.”
“I'll
try to remember to be more tactful next time I tell you your
girlfriend's cheating.”
“She's
not—”
He stopped and ran a hand over his face. If Kagura was trying to
pacify him, she'd chosen the wrong tactic. It was like extending an
olive branch set on fire, a peace offering that burned.
“I'm
not helping, am I?” she said softly, more statement than
question.
“No,
you're not,” he answered and threw back another mouthful of
liquor, reducing the amount in the glass by half.
“Have
you ever been through anything like this before?” she asked.
He hadn't. He'd never been in a situation where he'd
felt betrayed by any of his lovers, because he'd never attached
himself to them, never been in anything one could call a real
relationship. It wasn't cheating if the person you were cheating on
didn't care.
When he didn't answer her question, she added, “It
would probably be a good idea to stay away from each other for a
while, give things some time to cool down.”
He didn't think he'd have any problem following that bit
of advice.
Another few seconds of silence passed. “I know you
probably won't believe me,” she said finally, “but I'll
say it anyways. I was trying to look out for you.” She held up
a hand at the incredulous look he gave her and continued. “Maybe
I didn't go about it the right way, but one way or another, you
needed to know. You would have wanted to know. Right?”
He didn't answer. Of course she was right, but he didn't
want to give her any satisfaction in hearing it out loud.
She sighed and pushed off the couch. “I'll leave
you alone now.”
“Hey,”
he said, stopping her. He pointed his chin at the women on the bed.
“Make sure those two know not to go running their mouths that I
didn't join in tonight.”
She stared at him for a moment, then a slow knowing grin
smoothed over her lips. “Oh, I see,” she said. “You
just want her to think you're back here fucking them.” The
antagonizing edge she'd first used to greet him was back in her
voice. “Sure you won't change your mind? You've gone this far
to hurt her, might as well go all the way.”
“Just
tell them and fuck off,” he growled, at the end of his patience
with her.
She left him without another word, pausing at the bed to
speak to the women, then pushed her way past the curtain,
disappearing from sight. He knew he shouldn't have been so combative
with her. Kagura wasn't the one who'd cheated on him. But she'd made
a convenient and safe target. He was too angry to go at Kagome,
but releasing some of his hostility on Kagura probably wouldn't carry
much of a consequence. It never had before. She wasn't the kind of
woman one could get close to, and it seemed that acting contrarily
standoffish was the way she liked to keep things. It was as if she
was confrontational just to stir up the emotions of those around her,
like she enjoyed the chaos.
That had certainly been the case tonight. He'd probably
never know whether or not she was being sincere about having his best
interest in mind. She'd sounded sincere when she said it, but he knew
Kagura well enough to know that she could easily seem to be a lot of
things without any of it being real. She was good at hiding her true
face. Playing poker with her was a bitch. But it made little
difference now, anyway. What had been done was done, both on Kagura's
part and Kagome's. The bigger problem was that he still had no idea
where to go from here.
*****
Kagome
stood just outside the terrace door, hunched against the railing,
staring out over the hall with eyes that still threatened tears. She
had to tamp down the urge to punch her small fist through one of the
stained glass panels framing the doorway. If she was going to hit
something, it would be Inuyasha's face. Yes, she'd kissed Naraku, and
of course Inuyasha
was going to be upset. She'd expected it. But that didn't mean he had
the right to lash out at her in such a cruel way. The moment she'd
realized what he was doing as he led the two women away, she'd turned
and fled to the landing, away from his display of revenge as well as
the small crowd of onlookers. He was acting on anger and pride. She
knew that. But just because he
was making a spectacle of his retaliation didn't mean she had to
stand there and watch it.
He'd said she'd made a fool of him. Well, she wasn't
going to let him do the same to her by turning coward and running
away completely. So she stayed at the railing, miserable, the desire
to run and hide held in check by her injured pride. People still
passed in and out of the door behind her, but she kept her back to
them, and no one spoke to her as they came and went. Every hushed
voice, every hint of laughter forced a new surge of blood to her
face. The thought that her confrontation with Inuyasha might be the
reason for their amusement infuriated and embarrassed her even more.
What happened with Naraku had been bad enough. Feeling ridiculed
because of it was like salt in a wound.
She wanted to march back there, drag those women out by
their hair, then corner Inuyasha and make him listen, even if she
didn't have any idea what to say. That's what the girl she'd been
when she first came to the city would have done, the same girl who'd
confronted him so boldly, asking for forgiveness. But this was a
different situation. As apologetic and eager to make amends as she'd
been back then, she hadn't felt that his anger at her was completely
justified. This time, she'd given him a real reason, even if it was
unintentional, to turn away from her. Knowing that, she couldn't find
the courage to do what she might have done in the past.
She sighed and felt her posture slump further. There had
to be some way to fix this. Maybe if she could find Naraku and get
him to come up here and explain...
The idea faded before it barely had time to take shape.
And explain what, exactly? That at least some of what Inuyasha had
been told was the truth?
“You
must hate me right now.”
Kagome felt the knot of anger in her stomach tighten as
she recognized the voice floating toward her from the doorway.
Turning slowly to meet Kagura's eyes, she watched as the woman joined
her at the railing, leaning easily against it to stare out over the
crowd below with eyes that seemed strangely dull in the flashing
lights.
Hate her? Kagome wanted to throw her down the stairs and
laugh as her spine shattered on the landing below. Kagura might have fooled
everyone else, but Kagome knew better. She and her two companions had
come up to the terrace with only one purpose tonight: to cause
trouble. And they'd succeeded brilliantly.
“But
you should listen to what I have to say,” Kagura continued,
sounding disinterested, but her tone held just a hint of menace,
enough for Kagome to realize that she didn't have the choice of
whether to listen or not. Kagura was going to say what she had to, no
matter what. The only options were to either stand here and maintain
her pride by listening like an adult, or cover her ears and storm off
like a child. She chose the adult, but it was hard as Kagura turned
those unsettling eyes onto her and spoke slowly, as if wanting to
make her point very clear.
“People
tend to get a little crazy when it comes to celebrity and power, and
this place isn't any different. Inuyasha may try to play it down, but
his position gives him both, and that makes him very desirable. You
need to understand that there will always be women like me, like
those two in there, who will do whatever they want, whatever it
takes, to get to him. That's the way it's always been around here,
and nothing's going to change that. It won't stop with just this.
They'll keep coming, with new ways to pull you two apart, and each
time it's only going to hurt more.” She hesitated for a moment,
looking tired, as if telling Kagome all these things was some kind of
unwanted responsibility, then said, “I don't care if you want
to put yourself through that every time, but are you willing to do it
to him?”
Kagome struggled for an answer. Here Kagura was,
standing beside her and essentially admitting that the whole thing
had been a spiteful ruse to turn Inuyasha against her, and yet, as
much as she hated the woman for it, Kagome knew that there was truth
to what she was saying. The jealous stares, the dirty tricks, the
whispers behind her back, Kagome had experienced them all during her
time working for Inuyasha. She'd managed to ignore or brush off most
of them, but this time he'd been hurt too, albeit mostly by her own
act. This never would have happened if she'd managed to keep her head
the previous night. She'd given an opening to the women who
considered her a rival, and they'd seized upon it immediately. Would
every future misstep, great or small, be used against her the same
way?
Kagura didn't wait for her answer. “If you don't,
you should leave him alone and let him live his life the way he
wants.”
“That's
not what he wants!” Kagome snapped, motioning a wild hand
through the door. She knew it wasn't. He'd told her so.
“Maybe
not.” Kagura said quietly. “But they say nothing reveals
the true self better than a crisis, and I'd call having your heart
broken a pretty big crisis.”
Kagome
felt a hard chill as if the temperature had suddenly dropped. She's
right. Even knowing this was
just another tactic to drive her away, there was sense in her words
that Kagome couldn't argue against.
Kagura gave a light sigh and said, “Give him some
space to sort out his own feelings. If he decides what he wants is
you, then I give my word I'll leave the two of you alone. I can't
speak for anyone else, of course.” She pushed away from the
railing, turning as if to head down the stairs, then paused, glancing
back at Kagome over her shoulder. “You should take some time to
make up your mind about what it is you want, as well. You're no good
to him like this. I know you want to be a pillar for him, someone he
can lean on.” Turning back to the stairs, she added softly,
“But right now, you're just a burden.”
Kagome stared at Kagura's back as the woman descended
the stairs, torn between the rage that wanted to fulfill her earlier
violent machinations, and the guilt of knowing that at least some of
what Kagura had said was true.
*****
The women had long since left. So had everyone else, it
seemed. The terrace was empty now, and Inuyasha was relieved. Now he
could go home without the trip turning into some kind of shameful
parade for both Kagome and him. If she was even still here. He hadn't
seen her for a while. Despite his anger, that worried him a little,
which only frustrated him more. He'd been trying to hurt her. He
shouldn't now be worried about the consequences of his actions.
He stood from the chaise, and after taking a few seconds
to stretch his muscles, he wandered past the curtains and glanced out
over the railing to the crowd below, still pulsing in time to the
music and lights. It was only the middle of the night, too early to
go home, but there was no point in staying if he wasn't enjoying
himself. If he was going to be miserable, he might as well do so at
home.
Maybe a long, hot bath would calm him down some. He'd
have a big dinner after. Then he'd sleep for a while and forget all
about this awful evening. Forcing a smile to cover the doubt that any
of those things might actually help him feel better, he started
toward the door, but stopped when he noticed the dark figure sitting
on the bench outside. His steps slowed, an unpleasant nervousness
twisting in his stomach. On one hand, he was glad she'd stayed. On
the other, he didn't want to face her right now.
So
that's where she's been, he
thought, swallowing his nerves and charging forward. But she stood
and stepped into his path just as he moved under the door frame. It
was darker out here than it was on the terrace, and he couldn't see
her expression in the low light. He half expected a hard slap to the
side of his face, but she only stood there, blocking him from moving
forward.
He opened his mouth to tell her to move, but before he
could even take in the breath to do so, she suddenly bowed low and
said, “I'm sorry.”
Inuyasha's mouth hung open for a moment as he processed
the sudden apology.
“I
can't...” She paused to take in a harsh breath. “I can't
do this anymore,” she said, sounding close to tears. “I
can't be your assistant. Not right now. I'm sorry.” Without
giving him any time to respond, she turned and fled down the stairs,
leaving him stunned and frozen on the landing.
She was abandoning him.
Go
after her! the part of him that
couldn't stand the thought of being without her screamed.
Don't
you dare! his shattered pride
yelled back.
He couldn't move as the two sides warred back and forth
inside him, the white noise of panic making it impossible to think
clearly.
She was almost to the bottom when her steps suddenly
faltered. It looked as if her heel caught one of the stairs, and then
her upper body pitched forward, caught in its own momentum. She made
a grab for the railing but missed, and Inuyasha felt the sickening
vibration travel up the iron staircase as her knees hit and she
rolled the rest of the way down. It had only been a few steps, but a
few could do so much damage. The noise in his head ceased in an
instant, and he was rushing down the stairs before he realized it.
But before he could reach the bottom landing, a tall
male figure knelt over Kagome's crumpled form, brushing the hair back
from her scared, but mercifully awake, eyes. Wincing in pain and
holding her knee, she said something to the man, and just as Inuyasha
reached the stair on which she'd tripped, the man gently lifted her
in his arms, pulling her close to his chest, and paused a moment to
glance up at Inuyasha.
The
look Naraku gave him froze him at the fourth step. It was cold.
Accusing. This is your fault,
it said.
“I'll
take her from here,” Naraku said firmly, the combination of his
tone and expression making it clear there would be no argument, and
then he turned, carrying Kagome away.
Continued in Chapter 17 – Masquerade
A/N: I got your best angst right here. Mwaha! The
funny thing is, I don't even like angsty stories. Well, not normally.
But angst can move the story along nicely, and don't worry. Move
along it will. On to less angsty type things. I have to say though, I
am extremely glad to be finished with these last two chapters. As fun
as these scenes are to dream up, it's so hard to get all the
emotional drama out of my head and into a print version in a way that
doesn't stall the storyline.
I'm also glad that I decided to split the one chapter
into two pieces, otherwise this would have ended up being over 25
pages long. And as I said in the last A/N, yeahno.
No book recommendations this time around. A lot of my
free time is being eaten up by school-type things now, so
recreational reading takes a backseat to actual writing. And
Warcraft. Stupid, shiny, mind-numbing, time consuming Warcraft. Ugh.
The reviews last time, as always, were wonderful, and
I can't express how much every word encourages me to keep going,
especially when the self-doubting hits. Please let me know what you
think this time around as well!
Influential music for this chapter
Ombra – Dralion, Cirque du Soleil
Tori no Uta (piano ver.) – Re-feel (piano
arrangement album from Air and Kanon visual novels)
Starless Night – Olivia insp' Reira (Trapnest),
Nana ED 2 single - Wish/Starless Night
Kouya ni Hitori – Eureka Seven OST 1, Sato
Naoki
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