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Kagome's Blue Light	By : Earthnfarie Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Kagome > Sessh?maru/Kagome Views: 9809 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha nore do I profit from the writing of this.

Chapter List
- 15
- 16
- 17
   Kagome was running. She was desperate and terrified. Something fierce and blood thirsty was chasing her. It was nameless but familiar all at the same time. She knew who it was, but the recognition wouldn’t come to mind. She was desperate to get away, but as fast as she ran it was always right behind her only a breath away. She wanted to scream, but she couldn’t. She needed the oxygen too much. She ached all over from running, and she wanted to cry. She couldn’t stop or it would get her. She knew it wanted to taste her blood. She had been running for what felt like years, and she was desperate for respite. She suddenly felt her foot catch on something, and with horror she felt herself falling forward. She choked out a sob knowing this was her end. She seemed to fall forever, and then the crash resounded through her whole body. She tried to get up, but the grass and weeds were wrapping around her arms and legs. Try as she might she couldn’t tear free. She was hopelessly trapped, and she could feel her death upon her. She heard the rasping breath of her pursuer above her, and knew she was finished. Kagome closed her eyes as she felt the clawed hand on her neck.
   Kagome jerked awake, panting. She slowly rose in a haze, and slipped out of her hut. She drifted through the village, silently, in bare feet. She left the village behind as she walked trying to cast off her sleep horrors. She found a clearing not far from the village and stood letting the waning moonlight caress her. She didn’t know who was chasing her in her dream and that frightened her more than anything else. Kagome looked up at the moon that would soon disappear in a few nights leaving the world in blackness. ‘Though not a true blackness,’ Kagome thought to herself. She was well acquainted with true blackness, and this world never basked in it. That kind of blackness only existed in hearts of men and demons.
An image suddenly flashed in Kagome’s mind, and she felt a familiar pang of loss in her heart. She missed her Inuyasha. She almost hated the one that lived now. He was an affront to who he used to be. Kagome closed her eyes, and remembered her dear friend. She could almost reach out and touch his fluffy ears with how real he seemed. She choked back a sob and opened her eyes. She had to live with the choice that Inuyasha had made. She just wondered if he really knew how much it had affected all of them. She knew he had meant well, but he had made a stupid choice, but was she one to judge? She didn’t think so. She probably would have made a selfish wish herself, and she knew deep in her heart she was glad the burden of making the right wish didn’t fall on her. But she understood she was still responsible. She was the keeper of the jewel, and she had been the one to let Inuyasha make the wish. She could have stopped him, or at least discussed his wish with him, but she was blinded by her love. She was too trusting of the hanyou. Even knowing he originally sought the jewel to become a full demon, she believed she had healed his heart. Perhaps she had, but she was still responsible to insure he was going to make a good wish. She didn’t because she wanted to believe in him; she had wanted him to choose her of his own desire- unmolested. She wasn’t even disappointed when he hadn’t, but she was hurt. Looking back she knew she had partially failed as the keeper of the jewel, but at the time she was human- hell she still was in her heart. She knew she was a demon miko now, but her heart hadn’t changed nor had her emotions. She strongly suspected her brainwaves were still that of a human. She was still human in the most intimate ways, and no jewel could change that.
   Kagome sighed, and wondered why it all had to be so hard. She had a feeling that she was always meant to make the choice she had, as was Inuyasha. They weren’t predestined to be together. She was of the future, and as much as she loved it here in this time, she didn’t belong. She could accept that, and be content to just visit, but she knew even that would come to an end soon. She wanted to curse the fates for throwing her back in time to fall in love with a hanyou, and to make so many close friends that she couldn’t keep. She didn’t think it was fair to be punished like this. She had a big heart, but it was hurt so easily. Granted without her big heart their group probably wouldn’t have come together, and without everyone they wouldn’t have defeated Naraku. ‘The price you pay for success,’ she mused to herself.
She snorted at the thought, and sat upon the dew laden grass. She reached out and ran her finger along a blade of grass. She lifted to her, and gazed at the bead of water she had essentially plucked from the blade. She looked at her reflection, and let her emotions wash over her for the first time since returning to the past. She could feel both her opposing powers rise and swirl, and knew if anyone stumbled on her she would just be another human miko to them. ‘Like Sesshomaru,’ she thought. She felt her sorrow at missing him wash through her, but it was quickly pushed aside by the doubt that welled up in her. She knew he loved her- she could feel it from the courting mark- but would he have felt the same had she still been human? Kagome wasn’t sure. He had always expressed disinterest in humans and their affairs- unless they directly affected him- when she had known him in this time-, but Rin was something to refute that. As Kagome thought about it she quickly realized that it was Inuyasha that always insisted he hated humans. Although Sesshomaru had never disagreed, he had shown otherwise not only with Rin, but how he had protected her and Sango in the last battle. When they had been traveling with him he had made a point to stop at the villages, and speak with the headmen. They had never been afraid of him, and acted as if they had seen him often. She had asked him about it thinking it odd to do if he hated humans, and he brushed it aside saying that it was his duty as they were on his land. Kagome wondered now. She had seen how well he interacted with humans in her time; of course that was 500 years from now.
Kagome sighed knowing she would get any answers tonight. She also knew she wouldn’t sleep anymore tonight either, but that was nothing new. She laid back, and gazed that the sliver of the moon. She missed her old life. It felt like ages ago when she had been just another carefree teen when in reality it was less than a year. ‘Oh, how the times change.’ Even when it was looking as if Naraku would never be defeated she never felt as sad as she did now. She always maintained hope that everything would work out in the end. She never thought this is how it would be. She never thought that Miroku would be nearly dead, and Inuyasha… She closed her eyes and tried to push away the image that rose in her mind. She didn’t want to see it. She didn’t want to acknowledge that he would allow that clay bitch to commit such atrocious acts on his body, but in her heart she knew it was true. It was his choice, and Kikyou had always come first to him- always. He would have gone to hell with her so Kagome couldn’t be surprised that he would let her use his body in such a way.
Shippou’s words- his warning- floated in her mind. She knew he was right, and she was thankful for the warning. Even not knowing what to expect, Kagome was at least a little more prepared for what she was seeing, but she couldn’t help but feel that somehow she wasn’t seeing it all- at least not yet. She feared that it could be worse. She feared what may come. She had wanted things to be so much different, but she knew that this was what had been written long before she was born. Even before she fell through the well she had heard stories of the feudal era. She had listened to them raptly as a child when her grandfather had told them. She had never dreamed she would be the miko of those stories. So now she had no choice but know she was walking a predestine path; she was meant to be here, and do what she needed to do. Then the well would probably close to her forever. ‘Forever…Forever is such a long time.’ She thought to herself. She didn’t want to be closed off from her friends, but she felt that even more she didn’t want to see what was to come for them. She didn’t want to watch them wither and die while she remained young like the abomination she was.
Kagome rolled on her side, and dug her claws into the soft earth. This place was clean and pure; it made Kagome wonder if she really was. Was she what all her friends thought her to be? Was her heart and soul really as pure as they thought or was it a façade? She wasn’t sure. She didn’t know if she could be sure of anything anymore. Look at where she was, and all she had witnessed. Kagome sighed once more, and pulled her invisible claws from the dirt. She rolled over onto her back once more, and looked at the moon. Then she closed her eyes, and sought out the other miko that seemed to live in her. Kagome could find no trace of her though. She just wasn’t there. Kagome opened her eyes and sat up. “Midoriko,” She whispered into the night. She held her breath waiting for a response that didn’t come. Kagome let out her breath in a groan and flopped back. She wanted to scream; she wanted to rage. She wanted it to be different. She wanted something else- anything but this. Mostly she wanted something, but she didn’t know what it was. She just felt so useless. She wanted the tension and confusion she was feeling to go away. She wanted her simpler life back. She hated feeling like this.
“Well at least you’re not crying,” Came a voice from behind her.
Kagome jolted to her feet, and spun one fluid moment. She had let her guard down, and hadn’t known anything had approached her. Her eyes landed on a sight for sore eyes. She relaxed, and smiled. She walked to the figure, and pulled him into a strong hug. “Shippou, I was wondering when you would show.” She closed her eyes reveling in holding her boy.
He hugged her back. “Mama how were you able to move like that?”
Kagome continued to hug him as her eyes snapped open, and mind worked furiously. Had Shippou said if he knew about her transformation? She didn’t remember him saying anything, but he didn’t seem surprised to see her as an Inu youkia. But then again he had a moment to see her as she had been distracted by his son. Kagome honestly didn’t know how to respond.
Shippou laughed when she didn’t answer, and he felt her tense up. “So I was right! You did change! No one- especially Inuyasha- wanted to believe me. He insisted I was wrong- said I even smelled wrong! But what would he know with being human and all now.” Shippou paused as Kagome loosed her hold him back and looked in his eyes. “So how do you look human now? You don’t even smell like a hanyou or youkai.” He spotted her necklace, and reached out and touched it. “Oh I get it it’s a concealment spell, and a really good one. This is pretty powerful so you must be a full youkai! So you and Sesshomaru, huh? What’s he like in the future? Is he nice? Is Rin still alive? If Sesshomaru is still alive that must me other youkai are too. Have you met any of them? Have you seen me? What about Kouga?”
He was going to continue, but Kagome held up a finger to halt him. “Slow down there,” She said with a laugh. “All in due time,” She told him. She looked at him a moment longer, and then pulled him into a hug. “Gosh I’ve missed you.”
She felt his disappointment. “So you haven’t seen me?”
Kagome laughed as she released him. She took his hand, and led him to where she was before, and sat. He followed suit. “I have its just your different then. I mean your 500 years older! I have missed you like this- my son.”
“I’ll always be your son won’t I?”
Kagome smiled fondly at the boy. “Yes, but think about it like this Shippou, say you weren’t to see me for 500 years-”
“But I won’t when you leave again, will I?”
Kagome heard the pain in his voice. “No,” She told him honesty, “And I am sorry for that.”
“It’s ok. I know if you could you would stay.”
“Yes, I would, but it seems the well has other plans for me.” She shook her head to clear it of her depressing thoughts. “Anyway, when you see me again do you think it will be the same?”
“Well, it’s just a hop through the well for you, but I can see what you mean.” He paused, and then said hesitantly, “You are different.”
Kagome felt her heart clench painfully. “Yes, yes I am.” She whispered. She looked into dead space feeling so many emotions washing over her, and almost cried. She was shaken from it when she felt Shippou’s hand on hers. She looked down at her little boy, and felt her heart swell at the love in his eyes.
“Can I see mama?”
Kagome smiled, and without responding reached up, and remover her necklace. She looked on Shippou as he gazed at her in reverence.
“Mama,” He said so softly, “You’re beautiful.”
Kagome brushed some stray hair behind his ear, and looked at her son. She loved him more than he knew. “Thank you Shippou- my son.”
He looked up into her eyes, and smiled at her in a way that was too adult for his age. “Mama,” He whispered as he hugged her fiercely. Something in him felt more complete now than it ever had in his whole life.
- 15
- 16
- 17
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Kagome's Blue Light