Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Heart of pain, Heart of Ice. The sequel.	By : Strawberries Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Rin > Sessh?maru/Rin Views: 17710 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
- 17
- 18
　
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sesshoumaru did not know how long he lay there, eyes closed, drifting off with the summer wind.
It was a dream he did not want to wake from. Within his grasp, at his chest, was his mates small hand; her warm lap his pillow, her incredible scent filling every breath he took, there was no fear…only the calm beat of her heart. He deeply breathed in, wanting to remember this moment and what it felt like to just be there with her, wishing he could hold her with his heart close to hers. It was a foolish wish he knew. Rin did not want him in such a way but he could imagine it so. At the moment, lying there, he could feel her, and it was more than he had hoped for, more than he thought she would ever accept of his presence, especially after hurting her again. Soon, he knew, that even a simple moment like this could forever be unattainable. He had no idea what the future held for them. He had placed it in the hands of the young miko. It was possible, that in the near future, he would never be able to touch her again, in any manner. He gave her hand a light squeeze.
“Rin.”
“Yes?”
“Arigato.”
He felt her other hand smooth over his hair. “You’re welcome.”
The soothing touch nearly lulled him to sleep.
Yes.
He wanted to remember this.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
　
Rin caressed the silvery white softness of his hair, not really knowing why it felt so good. She smiled a little, thinking of his quiet ‘thank you’. Being here, like this, Rin realized there was more to her dog demon mate than she had come to know. He could be gentle and kind and almost….loving….in a way. Yet, he only acted this way when they were alone; more so since they had come to visit his family and even more so after hurting her last night.
She looked at the hand holding hers and the dried blood on his fingertips where each of his claws had been removed. The memory of those claws digging into her arms resurfaced. She now understood somewhat why it had happened. Sesshoumaru explained it was because of his demon instincts and that deep down he had wanted her. So when he had grabbed her and hurt her it was unintentional. More than once he had said so as well as told her he wanted to keep her safe from harm. Even if it meant keeping her safe from him. He must have done it… He must have had them removed…for her. She studied his sleeping profile. Her breath hitched at the bit of dried blood just under his lower lip.
Did he…?
Did he have his fangs removed as well?
Recalling last night, she cringed at the memory of him biting her again. Rin pushed the feeling away. No. He had not done it on purpose. He had lost control. At the time, she had been so upset and not thinking clearly, wanting him close… but… being so close… in the bed… had probably not been such a good idea even if it had made her feel safe….
Rin sighed. The events of last night could have been avoided. She was partly to blame. Sesshoumaru had been, for all this time, fighting his needs. Even now, he was fighting against the need to take her.
And he was doing it….for her.
Delicately, she moved a few strands away from the stripes at his cheeks, taking a better look. There was definitely dried blood but she could not see whether or not his fangs were still there.
She touched his cheek, feeling the warmth of it under the pads of her fingertips. His eyes opened at the touch. Again, she felt him squeeze her hand before bringing it to his mouth and pressing her palm to his lips, his breath warming her fingers. At the tender kiss , an unfamiliar feeling welled up; pure and sweet and warmer than the sun, making her heart ache, filling it with a strange longing for something she could not name. Suddenly a vision fluttered; a scene where Sesshoumaru was kissing her, his lips touching hers as he hugged her close. Rin blinked, startled by the unexpected vision and the fuzzy feeling left behind.
In that moment he shifted to roll onto his back. Bits of sunlight reflected within the darker honey now watched her intently.
Rin held her breath, locked onto something deep within his eyes. It was warm but sad at the same time. Almost as if he were giving up in a way, giving up something that he knew would never come to be.
He reached up and touched her cheek. “I will find a way. You do not deserve this. You do not deserve to be chained to me.”
A small fear crept up as she began to breathe again. “What do you mean? What are you going to do?”
When his hand fell from her cheek, he sighed and looked away. “I will find a way for you to be free. Marking you, chaining you to me, without your consent, as I have said, was wrong. I will find a way to correct my defilement of your body. You do not deserve to be hurt by me ever again.”
Rin didn’t understand. What could he do to correct the shared blood bond between them? How on earth could he set her free? As he had said; his blood now flowed in her veins. Their spirits were bound together.
And now… somewhere deep inside…
a part of her didn’t really want to be…
free.
In the middle of her worried musings, her stomach growled quite audibly. Sesshoumaru glanced at her with a slight smile before sitting up. “You are hungry again. Come. Let us go to the kitchen. I think you missed lunch and by the sound of your stomach you may have missed breakfast as well.”
　
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
　
Later that night, Rin lay in the bed, thinking, while evening crickets chirped outside the balcony windowed doors. At the foot of the bed, Sesshoumaru sat on the couch reading by the light of a small desk lamp on an end table. Unable to sleep, she pushed back the covers and crawled toward him. There she settled, leaning on the edge to look over his shoulder at the book, wanting to know what he was reading.
He did not turn his head. “Rin.”
“Yes?”
“You should be sleeping. It is late.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know.”
Several moments passed before Rin spoke again. “What are you reading?” Ever since the conversation they had under the tree that day a deep worry had been gnawing in her gut. She wanted to know what he had meant by setting her free.
Sesshoumaru shut the book. “Must you know?”
Not understanding why, she pushed the subject, needing to know. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“I’m worried.”
He turned around, his nose inches from hers. “Worried?”,
Caught by the sudden dark honeyed gaze, Rin tried to keep her voice steady. “Yes. I’m worried about what you said… about setting me free…. I… I don’t want…
…I don’t want to be set free… I want to stay with you.”
For the longest of moments, those dark honeyed eyes looked into hers as if searching for the truth before he let out a resigned sigh. “You are my mate and you deserve to know.” He turned back around some, giving only his profile. “I was reading on information regarding seals.”
“Seals?”
“Yes. A priestess can seal a youkai with an arrow or another weapon of choosing. The seal can last forever if need be. In a way, it could set you free. If I were sealed, you would stay here, safe, with my family and live peacefully for the rest of your life.”
“The rest of my life? What would happen to you? Sealed? Where?” That worry was getting worse and it began to quiver in her words.
“The tree we lay under today. It is a Gyjimbo tree. It is very ancient. I know of a fully trained priestess who will honor my request to seal me to it. I had a message sent today. The response will come soon.”
A vision of his lifeless body hanging on the tree by an arrow flashed across her mind. She found a new strength in her voice. “No.”
He looked back at her, clearly confused. “No?”
“I don’t want you to do it.” If anything in her life she had ever asked for, this was one thing she felt, deep down, that she didn’t want him to do. She didn’t want him hurt. For any reason.
“Rin..” He started.
Interrupting, she shook her head. “I said I wanted to be with you. Please? You promised me anything I want. I don’t want to see you on that tree.”
He closed his eyes and bowed his head. “What can I do? What can I do for you? I am trying my best to keep you safe, Rin. This will keep you safe from me. Forever. I know you do not wish to touch me. I must find a way to keep you from harm. I am losing this battle. My control is slipping more every moment. Soon, my need for you will make me hurt you again. This is the only way.”
“No.” She repeated it, stronger than the last time.
His forehead hit the back of the couch. “Why? Why do you wish to stay? Can you not see that I have given nothing but pain? I cannot bare to see it again. I cannot live knowing that I will hurt you.”
The exasperation in his voice nearly made her cave. She so wanted to reach out and hold him but steadied herself instead. “I don’t know why I want to stay with you. I just do. And I don’t want you sealed to that tree.”
He looked up to her again, a clear shine in his eyes. “My mate, I want you so. Every time I look at you I want to touch you. I ache from the struggle to hold myself back. Please. I cannot refuse you so I will beg you to reconsider this. Allow it. Allow me to set you free.”
Rin, heart aching at the anguish in his eyes, fought against the desire to give in and shook her head once. “No. I don’t want to be set free from you.”
He turned completely around and hid his face in his hands, his words muffled in a whimper. “Rin, my mate, whatever happens, if I hurt you, forgive me. For I will not know it when I do.”
She was no stranger to pain or the possibility of death and if that meant accidentally by his hand she would accept it. Without a word, she slid off the bed, walked to the couch to sit by him. Pushing his arm back, she lay her head on his lap. “Its okay. If it happens, you are forgiven.”

-------------------------------------------------------
As Rin rested her head on his lap, Sesshoumaru leaned back and frowned with despair. Being sealed would have set his mate free and forever kept him from hurting her but she had rejected the idea completely. What was worse was that she accepted it. She fully accepted the fact that he could soon take her, possibly rape and kill her weak human body. The desire within was building to an unbearable agony and every second that passed he was falling deeper into it. His last and only hope lay in Kagome. Closing his eyes, he let out a choppy breath. “Rin..”
　
　
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
　
Rin woke to pure sunlight. Stretching, she yawned and sat up to find Sesshoumaru still sitting up but asleep, head resting on the back of the couch. Remembering last night, she allowed a smile. He looked so peaceful sleeping there. She reached up and touched his cheek, waking him. His eyelids fluttered open as he inhaled deeply, the amber in them fuzzy as he blinked several times. They focused on her. “Rin?”
She smiled at him. “I’m gonna take a shower.”
He nodded, still groggily looking about.
After taking a shower and getting dressed in a knee length ivory lace dress and leather sandals, Rin waited on the couch as Sesshoumaru showered. She picked up the book he had been reading: the one on seals. While flipping through the pages, she frowned, thinking about what he had said. He had intended to end his life by allowing a priestess to seal him to that tree, living yet dead at the same time so she would be free. She shut the book. No. She didn’t want that to happen.
She looked up when he walked out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel as steam billowed out behind him. Her cheeks flamed with heat at the sight. Unable to look away, Rin stared at the half naked dog demon.
Catching her stare, he paused. “What is it, Rin?”
Of course it had not been the first time she had seen him this way but for some reason, something had changed and she wanted to look at the tall inu youkai standing before her; the well toned muscles in his arms and bare chest, the beads of water glistening on his heated skin, the way his silvery white hair clung to his face and back, hanging, wet and dripping to just below his…
Heart thumping, Rin looked down, forcing the new and unfamiliar feeling away. “Uh. Nothing.”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After breakfast, Rin sat on a stone bench under the shade of an older tree in the garden and Sesshoumaru, wearing that long flowing white dress suit again, stood close by, staring off into the sky as they waited on Kagome. She would be there soon but Rin did not know what was going to happen.
　
　
They didn’t wait long until Rin saw Kagome walking toward them. The girl was wearing some kind of ceremonial outfit. The long sleeve shirt or robe was white and the long pants were red. She was holding something in her hands. Inuyasha was right behind her.
　
She heard Sesshoumaru growl. “You were not invited, Inuyasha.”
Inuyasha growled back. “Like I’m gonna let Kagome do this alone! What if you went nuts and hurt her?!”
“This is none of your concern.” He barked back.
Rin turned to see Sesshoumaru glaring at his half brother.
“That’s enough, you two.” Kagome chided them both. “Inuyasha wouldn’t take no for an answer so I told him he could witness. There has to be one anyway.” She stated mater-of-factly.
Sesshoumaru relaxed his stance, frowning. “So be it. Have you done as I asked?”
Kagome walked to her with a kind smile. “Yes I have, Sesshoumaru.”
A bit nervous, Rin stood from the stone bench.
As if sensing her apprehension, Kagome paused. “It’s ok, Rin. Sesshoumaru has asked me to give you something that will keep you safe.”
Rin knew this is what Sesshoumaru wanted but she was still worried. “What is it?”
Kagome held out a long looped necklace. It click clacked with black beads and what appeared to be fangs and claws. “This is for you, Rin.”
Rin took the necklace from Kagome. “What do I do with it?”
Kagome gently took her shoulder and led her to Sesshoumaru. “You must put it on him.”
Beaded necklace in hand, Rin looked at it then up to Sesshoumaru. “I…”
He bowed down on one knee then lowered his head.
Again, she looked from the beads to the dog demon kneeling before her. “What will happen to him if I do?”
The necklace in her hand pulsated once with the single thump of a heart’s beat. It scared her, making her almost drop it. “I don’t… I don’t want to.”
Another heartbeat hit the air in a low sounding rumble and vibrated in her hands. Shaking her head, she backed up a step.
Kagome’s warm arm embraced her shoulders, holding her steady.
“Rin,” She heard the girl’s voice while watching the dog demon. “Sesshoumaru wants this for you. He asked for this. It is his choice. This necklace will restrain him from hurting you again. Only you can put it on him. And take it off.”
Her chest began to feel heavier with each breath. “Will it hurt him?”
Kagome sighed. “Not when you put it on him. But, if he tries to harm you in the future, it will stop him from doing so. You will have to think of a word of command.”
For several seconds, Rin stood before Sesshoumaru who had not moved from his kneeling stance. His long silvery white hair hung to the cobble stone path and hid his expression. He was silent and still. The only movement was his breathing. The beads in her grip resounded again. She took a step forward, holding the necklace out in front of her.
The beads click clacked in her trembling grip. She paused, inches away from the his temple. “I. I don’t know if I can do this.” She didn’t want to cause anyone pain. Ever. This necklace would hurt him; if not now, it could in the future.
“Rin.” Sesshoumaru raised a cool gold gaze to hers. “Put it on me.”
“I…I..” She stumbled with the words. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You will not.” He affirmed before bowing his head to her again.
Giving in, Rin took one step closer. Carefully, she laid the necklace over his head. It settled with a light clack around his neck and hair. She backed up, somewhat troubled by what she had just done.
Sesshoumaru rose from his kneeling position.
“Have you thought of a word of command? Be careful. It will have to be the first word you speak.” Kagome’s voice, even though very close, sounded far away.
Sadly, Rin gazed up at her dog demon mate, trying to see any kind of emotion in his eyes. If she said that word, what would happen? She didn’t want to say it. She didn’t want to cause pain.
Rin backed up another step and shook her head, refusing to open her mouth. She could live the rest of her life never saying a word if it meant not hurting him.
　
“Rin. Say it.” Sesshoumaru’s deep tone commanded. Again, she looked up at him and shook her head, keeping her lips closed, begging with her eyes.
“Say it!”
Holding herself, Rin closed her eyes. No. She couldn’t do this to him.
“Rin…” His voice softened. “….please.”
Hearing the emotion in his voice, Rin lost the will to fight and gave in.
With a nod, she opened her eyes and tried to think. It could not be a common word. She didn‘t want to hurt him unintentionally. The only thing she could think of was when he had bitten her the first time. If she had screamed anything it would have been for him to… “Stop.”
The second she said it, light flashed followed by a distinct thud.
Rin, horrified, helplessly watched as some unknown force slammed him to the ground.
He had landed on his side, yelping, bright red replacing the amber. Lying there, he struggled to move, both hands clutching the tooth and bead necklace as he growled, the dark red of his eyes glaring out at nothing.
Rin, reaching out, was blocked by Kagome’s hand. “You can’t help him. It will take a few minutes for the spell to wear off.”
Rin fell to her knees. “Why?! Its hurting him!”
“Touching him will only strengthen it and make it worse. I know it’s hard to watch but it will wear off in a moment.” Kagome consoled.
　
Sesshoumaru stilled. Several moments passed as the red in his eyes faded. Breathing hard, he lay there a bit longer before finally moving to stand.
The dog demon straightened. “This will suffice.” He offered his hand. Rin accepted it, letting him pull her up to her feet.
“Well, that’s done.” Kagome turned to her. “Since you are the one to spell him. You have the ability to take the necklace off him when you feel the time is right. Remember: Do not go near him before the spell wears off. Since you are now his subjugator, touching him will intensify the effects.
Downcast, Rin nodded. “Okay.”
Frowning, she watched Kagome and Inuyasha walk back to the house. She blinked at the light touch of Sesshoumaru’s fingertip as he wiped a tear from her cheek. “I didn’t want this.”
He took her chin and gently turned her head meet his gaze. “I did.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
　
The mall was huge! Much bigger than the Brookhaven Mall. Rin stared, wide eyed, at the enormous size of the food court as they entered through the automatic sliding doors. Rin felt Sesshoumaru’s warm hand encircle hers and glanced up to see him looking ahead as they walked, his long silvery white hair, pointy ears, and classic demon presence somewhat clashing with the casual state of dress: black pants, and a black button up shirt that he left the first top three buttons unfastened, showing off his neck and part of his collar bone. Rin felt that heat rise in her face again at the hint of skin. It seemed to affect her even more than seeing him in only a towel. She gulped and looked away, forcing her attention to the sights, sounds, and smell of food.
The spur of the moment trip was decided on yesterday evening after dinner when Kagome had suggested to Sesshoumaru taking her out to shop. At the time, Rin brightened with the thought of going out but now she wished Kagome and Inuyasha had come with them. For some reason here lately, She was finding it hard to focus on anything except her dog demon mate. Ever since that day under the gyjimbo tree, a feeling had begun glowing like a warm light in her chest. It made her want to be close to him. And it also made her wonder what it would feel like to be closer….
Again, she glanced at him and at the beaded necklace lying on his chest just under the third open button, the rest hidden by his collar and silvery white hair. It amazed her to no end that he had allowed himself to be subjugated so that she would be safe in his presence. It had to mean only one thing: That he did actually care.
His line of sight fell to her and Rin looked away, knowing that she was blushing. She didn’t want the trip to be an awkward experience. She smiled and pointed to the jewelry shop. “Can we go look in there?”
With a slight look of confusion, he gave a nod.
It was her first time in a jewelry store. Rin liked how the gemstones glittered in the spotlights directed at them. Looking at the earrings, she absently fingered her ear lobes. They had never been pierced.. For a second, she grimaced at the thought pain. They used a needle for things like that. Moving on, she looked over the sparkly pendants of butterflies and other beautiful designs. They were all so pretty. She smiled sadly to herself. Girly things like this were always a wishful notion. She never felt girly…or anything close to feeling that way. For the most part, down deep inside, all she ever felt of herself was a dark void of nothingness. She wasn’t pretty. She knew she didn’t have the looks or curvy figure that amounted to what the other girls called ‘sex’ appeal. She had never had the chance to ‘date’ or even entertain the notion because of her father. How was she suppose to know what it felt like to be female? To want someone…?
To want to be with someone…?
While such musings mulled through her mind, Rin locked on the wedding rings. She stared at them for a long moment. They were beautiful but they also held meaning.
“Rin.”
Rin looked up at Sesshoumaru. “Yeah?”
“What are you looking at?”
She pointed to the rings. “They’re wedding rings.”
“Wedding?”
She nodded. “Sometimes when people get married. They exchange rings. It’s like a promise to each other. The matching rings are a symbol of their love.”
“Love?”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sesshoumaru had heard the word before many times between his stepmother and half brother. The word’s significance was not entirely lost on him. He knew it was a human term of affection. For the most part though, his father and step mother had never shown or voiced the word in any sort of matter. He surmised their bond to be a private one.
He watched Rin’s brown eyes soften at the metal rings. It was such a strange thing to use a piece of jewelry to symbolize the bond between mates. But if it would make her happy…. He briefly wondered if there was some sort of ritual tied to the ‘wedding rings’. “Do you like them?”
Still gazing at the rings, Rin gave a small smile. “I guess I do. They’re pretty. I like the silver ones. When I was younger I used to wonder what it would be like to be married before…..” She trailed off, frowning. “I would like to leave now.”
Heeding her request, he led her out and toward the other shops in the mall, tucking the information back to think over later. He was beginning to realize it was the little things that made up her personality. And he wanted to know about every single one of them.
The next shop Rin wandered into was called Game Spot. While his mate looked about, he watched her intently. She seemed engrossed by all the items on the wall. “What is this place?”
“It’s a gaming store. It’s where you buy video games to play on the t.v.” She informed with a distracted smile.
Ah. Now he remembered. When Inuyasha was young he used to play such games in his room. “I see.”
He also recalled seeing a game room when they entered the mall. He wondered if she wanted to go play those ‘games’ there. “Do you wish to go to the arcade?”
She startled back to attention. “I. Yeah. I guess we can. Before we leave. I like places like that. It’s just…there are so many people in there right now.”
Still holding his hand, she spent a bit longer in the game store before heading out, going to one of the clothes shops which appeared to be for younger women like her.
“Do you wish for me to accompany you?” He asked, wanting to be close, but uncertain if males were allowed in such a place.
Rin pulled on his hand. “It’s okay. You can come with me while I look.”
Sesshoumaru waited patiently while she browsed through the clothes hanging on the racks. While his mate looked, he sniffed the air, making sure there wasn’t anyone or anything dangerous nearby. Finding nothing, he went back to observing the girl who was still holding his hand. Ever since he had took it when they entered the mall, she had not let go.
“Have you found anything?”
She let go of his hand and picked up a few items. “I think so. I need to try them on.” She pointed to the dressing rooms. “I have to go by myself.”
He did not like the thought of leaving her alone in such a big place but gave a nod. “I will be just outside the dressing room.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
While Rin changed clothes in the dressing room, he leaned on the entryway, his thoughts resting on his mate. He wanted to do things for her but was at a loss as to how to go about it. He liked holding her hand but felt as if it were not enough. Buying her something special might be a good idea. Maybe those ‘wedding rings’ that she had smiled at almost wistfully. A corner of his mouth twitched slightly upward as he imagined her smile at such a gift. His inward musing was cut short by a pat on his shoulder. He turned his head to see a full blooded female canine youkai standing beside him grinning wolfishly. She was dressed in some sort of black leather outfit that laced around all the private parts but blatantly brandished every other inch of her curvaceous form. Her white, down covered skin, peeked out, giving ample views of stripes and markings displaying the royal status of belonging to the Lands of the East. Long jet black hair fell in large ringlets from her head to her shoulders all the way to her black leather strapped high heeled boots. Giving the strawberry sucker in her mouth a suggestive lick while pulling it out, she growled a giggle. “Hi. What’s a beautiful, tall, royal inu youkai like you doing here all alone? Shopping with your sister?”
He raised a brow. “No.” Instantly he recognized the spoiled rotten demeanor. The female was very used to getting everything she wanted. And at the moment, by her smell, she wanted him. “I am here with my mate.”
At that, she frowned with a over exaggerated pout. “You have got to be kidding me. I don’t smell any other youkai in this store. Is she in the mall?”
“It is no concern of yours. I do not wish to be disturbed by your presence any longer.” Irritated, he almost growled but stifled it. He could keep his composure in public.
The female didn’t seem to take no for an answer as she moved in closer, face to face, almost a breath away, clear wanton lust glazing her bright cobalt blue eyes. She was definitely a beautiful dog demon but she was not his mate and he did not want her that close.
“Awww… come on.” She smirked while pushing her breasts up a bit, showing ample amounts of cleavage between the black leather straps. “Don’t you like me?”
He glared at the impudent female. “No.”
She backed up a step, her voracious gaze roaming as she bit her bottom lip, brandishing one very sharp fang in a half smirk. “Okay. Okay. I get it. You got a mate. I respect that.” Giving the red sucker another provocative lick, she laughed in amusement. “Whatever. I could smell you from the moment I got here. She ain’t giving you what you need. Later.”
He wanted to groan at the fleeting intrusion but froze, catching sight of Rin who, clothes in hand and head bowed, stood only a few feet away, staring at the floor between them. With a definite swallow, she spoke. “I. I’m through. They all fit.”
It was an awkward moment and he didn’t know how much she had witnessed or how she felt about it. “Come. I will pay for them and we can go find something to eat.”
She nodded, still not directly looking at him, then walked to the cashier’s desk.
==============================================================
Already knowing what he wanted, Sesshoumaru set the menu down and waited while Rin, sitting across from him in the cozy, candle lit booth, studied the menu.
“Are you hungry?” He asked.
Not taking her eyes off the plastic covered paper, she sucked on her bottom lip before answering. “Yes.”
She placed the menu down nervously. “Can I order chicken with rice and vegetables, a buttered role and pie with ice cream?”
He wanted to smile at her ever increasing appetite, inwardly noting her once thin frame was beginning to fill out in all the right places, especially her hips and... Glancing at her chest, warmth spread in his face. He cleared his throat, forcing the thought of Rin’s body from his mind. “You can order whatever you wish.” He assured.
The waitress came and took their order.
As they waited for the food, Sesshoumaru, somewhat distressed that Rin had still not looked at him directly since the clothes shop, chanced breaking the now growing silence between them. “What is it, Rin?”
She took a sip of water then shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. I guess… I guess I was surprised by the pretty youkai talking to you.”
“Surprised?”
“Yeah. When I walked out of the dressing room and saw her…I didn’t know what to do.”
Rin’s brown eyes looked up into his with clear worry. “Did you…? Um…If I wasn’t here…Would you want to go with her?”
Sesshoumaru held her gaze. “No. I would not.” He hoped his clear and truthful response was enough. He so wanted to take her in his arms and prove that he only wanted her but such a show of affection could ruin what little intimacy they had grown to share.
The worry in her expression disappeared, replaced by relief. A hint of pink tinted her cheeks as she gave him an apologetic smile, looking down, around, then glancing back at him as if not knowing where to look before letting out a long sigh. “Oh. Okay.” Then her eyes fell to rest on the candle between them and her smile fell some. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t of asked that. I guess I don’t really know how to act with…someone… I’ve never….” Rin trailed off, seemingly lost in thought as she gazed at the flickering light. He patiently waited, wanting to hear her finish. Moments lingered on until she spoke again. “I’ve never…um…I’ve never dated. I’ve never even been friends with a boy. Or had a boyfriend… I don’t know how to….how to act with someone.”
Even though the girl before him seemed lost in thought there was a nervous edge to her tone. She was trying to apologize for her behavior which she had no idea had been appropriate or not. It made him realize just how innocent his mate really was. Even though her body and spirit had been ravaged by the hanyou she had called father, Rin’s heart was like a newborn pup: unable to walk or see, crawling around in the dark in search of life giving warmth.
“It is okay, Rin.” He said, lowering his voice to almost a whisper.
She looked up from the candle.
“I do not quite know how to act with someone as well. My experience with courting a female has also been inadequate. Therefore I am unskilled in such situations.” He propped an elbow on the table then rested his cheek in his palm. “We are mates now. I will do everything in my power to give you what you need and that means whatever you may want or need from me, my body, or my spirit. You have only to ask.”
For a long moment those deep brown pools glistened with candlelight, thoughtful.
“I would like to sit by you.”
He blinked, somewhat startled by the request. Quickly regaining composure, he held out his hand and she took it, stood, then allowed him to guide her around the table. As her warm body sat next to his, hip to hip, he steadied his breathing, making the thump in his chest slow down. Tentatively, she moved his left hand and arm to embrace her waist as she rested her head on his chest and shoulder then took his right hand in both of hers.
“I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to be close like this. In a place like this. With someone….
I know you didn’t like me when I first talked to you in your back yard. I. I could see it in your eyes. No one ever liked me. I was so alone. Then when you bit me I thought that was the reason. I thought you wanted to kill me for trespassing….for offending you. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean…I was so scared….”
She was starting to tremble in his hold, her words breaking down in sobs. Uncertain as to how to calm his mate he held her to him. “What I have done to you in the past, as I have said, was wrong. You have no need to apologize. It is I who have wronged you. I want you to know, Rin, when I first met you, I did not heed the plea of my heart. It was drowned out by my animosity toward all humans. Forgive me for not listening and causing you unwarranted pain and suffering.”
When she stopped sniffling and trembling, he felt his own shoulders relax. Without thinking, he nuzzled her hair then kissed her temple. Her body melded into his, relenting to the touch.
He also gave in, lifted her chin, then gently pressed his lips to hers. Time stopped and the world fell silent yet it moved underneath in slow motion. His breath hitched when the softness of those lips pressed back as her heart thumped, low and calm, close to his.
Cupping her cheek, he almost deepened the kiss when a distinct loud “Ahem!” startled them both, Rin breaking away first.
It was the waitress, grinning, standing there with their food on two plates. Rin, cheeks flushed, smiled back sheepishly. “Oh. Sorry.”
“That’s okay.” She returned while setting the plates before them. “Happens all the time.”
Sesshoumaru, tried to regain his bearings as the taste of Rin lingered, making him dizzy. Sitting up straighter, he cleared his throat while trying to clear his head.
Rin glanced up at him with a quiet smile before directing her attention to the hot plate of food. In that one glance he saw something in her brown eyes that made him melt with an unfamiliar sensation. Never in his entire life had he ever felt this way. Still reeling, he stared at the steak on his plate, unsure of what to do next as if he had even forgotten how to lift a fork. Several minutes passed before he was able to resume a somewhat normal resemblance of behavior.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
　
After eating, Rin walked out of the restaurant with Sesshoumaru, holding his hand, her lips still tingling with the memory of the kiss. It had nearly took her breath away and was the sweetest thing she had ever been given. That strange but wonderful emotion glowed inside her chest again, stronger than before, making her feel as if she were floating on air. The beautiful male walking at her side had comforted her, held her close, then kissed her with delicate care. It was the first time she had not been frightened for she had felt so safe in his arms. Of course the kiss had been sudden, and definitely a surprise, but it had felt so right, making the trembles in her body fade away. It had been a real kiss. A loving kiss.
She smiled to herself, swimming in the feeling of truly being wanted and loved.
　
- 17
- 18
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Heart of pain, Heart of Ice. The sequel.