Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

eMate dot com	By : drcomalfy Category: InuYasha > Yaoi - Male/Male > InuYasha/Sessh?maru > InuYasha/Sessh?maru Views: 13628 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter 2: Keh! The Embarrassment of a Lifetime!

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU SIGNED ME UP FOR A GODDAMN DATING SITE!!!!”

Inuyasha Takahashi had the sudden urge to scream (in a manly way of course). Or kill something in a highly violent manner. Like a pillow. Or, really, rather slaughter a certain someone until all his current problems vanished (the pillow was only an innocent bystander, after all).

Oh god...

This was a complete nightmare... Absolutely the worst possible thing that had ever happened to him!

It was worse than when his dad walked in on him masturbating for the first time.

Worse than when he was a little kid and ran around to every single woman he saw and asked if they’d marry his dad and him(1) that one time when his mother had to go away on a business trip for seven whole days. She’d laughed when InuTaishou explained why he kept getting calls from random women when she’d returned. The then-tiny hanyou had smiled triumphantly at his mommy and proclaimed that she could go away for a week to rest from having to “deal with daddy” once a month and all would be well since he would hire a professional stand-in mommy to take her place until she returned.

Yes, this situation was even worse than THAT.

For the love of god! It was even worse than when he froze up and started rambling some mutated version of the speech he was supposed to have made during his high school graduation some odd years ago (“Ladies and gentleman, I am horrified that I have to make this stupid, crappy speech. Someone else should be up here. I hope you realize right now that I’m imagining you all in chicken suits instead of the usual ‘naked audience’ because, really, let’s face it, I’d probably go blind if I saw any of you sky clad...” and it hadn’t gotten any better after that).

Yes, this was definitely, by far, the worst thing that had ever happened to him. And he’d announced- rather indignantly yelled at the top of his lungs how ungrateful he was with his father...

And that’s what led him to his current situation. Stuck under his father’s weight as the older inu had resorted to tackling him to the carpeted floor.

Yes, that psycho that the hanyou was forced to call Dad (he didn’t deserve the title! Or the privilege!), had had to literally sit on Inuyasha and shove his (“big, fat, large, nasty, huge, disgusting, disgraceful, sickening, foul”, his father had said) mouth into the carpet of the apartment in order to silence the young male.

Unfortunately the flailing hanyou wouldn’t shut up or lower his voice so InuTaishou had then been forced to resort to punishment of a certain (very high, very desperate) magnitude. He had even waited a good fifteen minutes until he thought he had squished all of the air out of his son’s absolutely livid body to let the boy up. At which point he began yet another spiel about the unfairness of the world (and yeah, the world was so out to get him. InuTaishou rolled his eyes so many times he thought they’d pop out). This temper tantrum, of course, had severe consequences for the half-demon.

A flurry of movements happened after a battle cry was sounded by InuTaishou as he tackled his son to the floor once again, ripped off his own tie and belt and tied the overgrown brat up like a cowboy cattle-tying a calf. And the next second Inuyasha was sitting, bound and gagged (don’t ask where the gag came from) and sitting in front of their computer in the living room area.

Inuyasha growled as much as he could through the nasty thing his father had put in his mouth (alright, fine, it was InuTaishou’s sock that had been ripped off in the heat of battle and shoved in the ungrateful whelp’s big, foul mouth), glaring evil little gold daggers of soon-to-be doom at his father’s head, hoping it’d explode or, hell, just shut down for five goddamn minutes!

“Don’t look at me like that. Trust me, you’ll be thanking me when you find that special someone on this site!”

“Mmmhphfusphapa!” Inuyasha grumbled incoherently passed the gag. InuTaishou was, remarkably, able to understand the gibberish just fine (it really had nothing to do with the fact that Inuyasha had gotten out of hand before and landed in this same situation; tied and gagged up).

“Don’t be so dramatic. They even guarantee you’ll find your soul mate!” the older male stated proudly. “Now, if only they could promise me that I’ll have grandkids and my son’ll get laid so he’s not always acting like a catty little brat. That would be something, wouldn’t it?” InuTaishou chuckled as Inuyasha’s glare narrowed even more. “Oh, Inuyasha, you’re too easy to rile up. You really need to loosen up and be more open to meeting new people.”

“Foommmooph!!”

InuTaishou rolled his eyes. Again. “There’s nothing wrong with meeting people like this. Millions do it all over the world! Every day! Mostly because they don’t have the time or connections or whatever to do so.”

“Ummphphsiess!”

“You know damn well why I’m doing this! We’ve moved all over the world since you were ten years old, and this is the first time we’ve actually stayed in one part of it, let alone one city, for two whole consecutive years! And now that you’re in your second year of college, at a private, all-males college no less, it’s about high time you get a girlfriend, or at least a good lay, cause you are seriously high strung, son,” InuTaishou stated, patting his son on the shoulder in reassurance of that fact.

Inuyasha snapped his head to the side and tried to bite off the old dog’s fingers, but to no avail.

“Mphoomphhh!!”

“No way in hell am I taking that gag out! I still have a scar from the last time you bit me; you’ve done this to yourself, you rabid, little cretin!” InuTaishou said, glaring right back at his son.

“Oomphamoophoo,” came a defeated grumble, puppy ears visibly deflating as well.

“That’s better, take it like a man, good job. Now, let’s get down to business,” the older male said with finality, moving the keyboard and mouse off to the side so he could type in www[dot]e-mate[dot]com, bringing the two to a festive looking site.

“Thuusloosopit.”

“I don’t think it’s that stupid of a name. Actually, it’s kind of clever.”

“Wooteeantow?”

“I’m not sure what that stands for... Maybe, affectionate?”

“Aasploodadio!”

“Oh, shut up. I see no point in knowing how to spell correctly. I’m better at talking. Verbalization is key, you know.”

“Mmphoopi.”

InuTaishou just glared at the insult of “‘e’ doesn’t stand for affection, stupid. It’d be an ‘a’ if that were the case,” comment the pup just mumbled at him, before clicking on the Sign In button and typing in his son’s username and password.

“OFSDLFKDLXX!!!?”

The old dog snickered. “Well I thought it was a great username(2)! Especially for you.” Waiting for the page to load, he whistled some tune that sounded suspiciously like he was amused.

“Woopshwd?”

“Your password is Tetsusaiga. Thought that’d be the easiest thing for you to remember since it’s the name of your bike. Though you can change it later,” came the response.

Inuyasha only nodded, accepting it as a good enough reason.

“Alright, here we go. Do you want to see your profile? Or would you rather read your e-mails? Wow. You’ve already got that many in the five days that you’ve been a member!”

“FFALSDFDIVDASSS!!”

“Well, I was trying to think of a way to tell you, so yes, I waited that long.”

“Mmphhsdjf!” Inuyasha snarled as he jerked his body about from side to side in the computer chair. It started to whirl around, a calming effect the hanyou had found good to use when he was stressed (especially when it was his father’s fault, which was quite often).

InuTaishou just watched as his son spun round and round in the chair for a few moments before saying, “You’re going to get sick, or fall out of the chair, and don’t think I won’t leave you on the ground and read your e-mails! Out loud! Loud enough for the neighbors to hear! And then I’ll send copies of them to Izana-”

Inuyasha stopped instantly.

That was one thing he wouldn’t allow. No one read his e-mails, letters or whatever. Not even if the place he was receiving said e-mails, letters or whatever, was a stupid-ass named site where only idiots would go to find dates!

“Thought that’d get your attention,” InuTaishou sighed dryly. “Now, I’m going to untie you, and if you start your vocal rampage again, let alone tear my home apart, I will tie you up again and gag you with something much more disgusting than my dirty sock, you understand, pup?” InuTaishou warned, hovering over his son menacingly, awaiting an answer.

Inuyasha went completely rigid, eyes wide in anticipating horror as any and all possibilities of every single piece of dirty laundry his father had occupying the household crossed his mind.

The next second, the hanyou nodded furiously in agreement that he wouldn’t throw a fit.

“Good,” the older male said, untying his son and stepping back.

Inuyasha spat out the sock and threw it at his father’s head. “That’s the grossest thing you’ve done yet, you evil bastard!”

InuTaishou raised an eyebrow critically.

Inuyasha’s ears flattened against his skull, muttering a barely audible, “Sorry,” and then turning back to the computer screen to properly inspect all the e-mails he had. Though he stopped just shy of pressing on the first message as he felt his father suspended behind him, peering over his shoulder inconspicuously. Right.

“Do you mind?” Inuyasha said a bit snootily, raising an eyebrow himself this time.

“No, not really, why?” InuTaishou responded cheekily.

Inuyasha glared, about ready to open his mouth with a slew of ammo.

“Alright, fine, I get it. Privacy. Had I given that to you in the first place maybe you wouldn’t be on the verge of being a sex deprived homo-!” a pillow that had somehow found its way into Inuyasha’s lethal hands was sent hurtling into his father’s stomach (which was only about a foot away from him), causing InuTaishou to cease in his statement and retreat to his bedroom in a flurry of movements.

“Finally,” Inuyasha grumbled irritably, turning back around toward the computer.

After an intense staring contest (which the computer screen won), Inuyasha sighed nervously. “Well, here goes...” he said to himself, clicking the very first message someone had sent him on this freaking gayass site.

~ * ~

Story Notes:

(1) I grew up without a father, and actually did this when I was a kid; I’d ask strangers (men) if they’d marry “us” (us being my mom and me), and one guy, who was a biker, like from Hell’s Angels, I guess, responded in good humor, “I would, but I don’t think my wife would like that too well.” XD Bless you, sir! Bless you xD

(2) We’ll find out Inuyasha’s username, along with other tid bits, in the next chapter!
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