Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

The Diary	By : Tomosaho Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Kagome > Sessh?maru/Kagome Views: 15843 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
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Well, time for the next chapter. The first one was a little shaky, but hopefully this one will have a better flow to it. For those who have read the original, expect the story to change soon, drastically.

To my dear reviewers, thank you so much!!

Deebeth89- Thanks for catching my spelling error! I always fail at spelling, and with spell check not an option on the Japanese words, I generally get half of those wrong. On which of the spellings of the name I could use, I've always preferred Tetsusaiga to Tessaiga... I don't know why, so I'm going to stick with it since I've used it so much already. The English spelling doesn't change the kanji or the meaning, so I don't see the harm in keeping it. I’ve heard lots of names chosen for Inu-papa’s name, although I’ve never been partial to any of them. I think the closest he got to an official name was Sugimi that the animators from the second movie used to refer to him, which is supposed to be a deviation from one of the words for father (Chichigimi if I’m not mistaken). I’ll probably never end up naming him, though, since everyone who knew him referred to him by title.

Well, time to get this thing going.

Oh, and do I have to keep repeating my disclaimer? I don’t own it, and I’m pretty sure everyone knows it.

Special

Sesshoumaru sat perfectly still, shocked into motionlessness. His eyes no longer took in the words before him, the proof of his desecration. His jaw had, for the first time in his long life, dropped in astonishment and continued to hang openly like that of an idiot. The entire demon lord’s being had stalled, and Sesshoumaru’s mind sputtered in bewilderment.

The demon’s mind was spinning, circling around the hated truth written before him. He couldn’t quite grasp it, the concept too strange for even his great mind. He was so consumed with it that Jaken could have approached him and slapped him across the face, and Sesshoumaru wouldn’t have noticed. Slowly, the world started to return to him as Sesshoumaru began to take in just what this revelation meant.

Kagome, Inuyasha’s annoying, weak, human wench, dreamed of fucking him.

Anger slowly began to replace the shock. It seeped into him in a familiar way, traveling the paths of outrage and indignation. Anger slowly became rage as an evil growl rumbled out of the demon’s chest. Birds flew out of the trees in fright as Sesshoumaru’s aura became agitated, whipping around him in frenzied whirlwind. His eyes began to turn red, calling for blood, and the marks of his heritage began to turn ragged as his hair thrashed about him in the maelstrom. Sesshoumaru didn’t notice as some of the delicate pages of the diary fluttered and tore from the book or the fearful voices of his companions as they woke to the presence of their lord’s fury. Sesshoumaru was only concerned with how he would kill the arrogant little trollop that dared violate his person. He would gouge out her eyes for daring to look upon his naked self, whether real or imaginary, and would tear out the hands that dared write about her conquests.

So consumed was the Western Lord with his tortuous plans that he did not notice his ward approaching him. Rin had woken to the sound of a growl that was so terrifying she had almost wet herself. She had curled up, trying to be too small to be worthy of anyone’s notice, and wondered what on earth was happening. She had fallen asleep just as the sun had begun to set. Her day had been so exhausting, what with Ah-Un being injured protecting her and trekking about a mile afterwards to find a stream suitable to the beast’s needs. She had been rather excited about her find, and desperately wanted to know what it was, but her lord had not seemed to be in any sort of mood to tell her. After such an eventful day, and then the disappointment of her continued ignorance of her discovery, Rin had tucked in early.

Yet here she was, near death as she curled further in a fetal position, wondering what on earth was going on. Rin wondered why whatever demon was making the noise and winds hadn’t been dispatched by her lord yet. The girl unfurled herself just enough so she could take a peek at her lord, only to realize in shock that it was Lord Sesshoumaru who was the cause of her terror.

The girl abandoned the fear she held for her life and began to stand. Her small body was nearly thrown back to the ground by the winds, but she continued towards him. Rin only felt great concern for her lord now, who seemed to be greatly distressed. She had never seen him react this way outside of a battle, but there seemed to be no foes nearby. She began calling to him, but her voice seemed to be thrown back into her mouth by the fierce currents.

Sesshoumaru was still unaware of her approach. He had ventured further into his plans for Kagome’s death, and was about to leave to fulfill his desire when he began to hear a small voice. It was calling his name, barely above a whisper and difficult even for his ears to detect, and Sesshoumaru struggled to recognize it. His demon eyes, still full of hatred and malice, looked up to see in shock that Rin was mere footsteps away from him, buffeted by his distressed aura. How had he not noticed she was there?

The whirlwind began to die down as Sesshoumaru’s surprise at Rin brought him back to his senses. Really, how could he lose so much control of himself that he didn’t even notice a little girl walking towards him? His eyes returned to their normal state as Rin took the last few steps needed to place herself next to her lord.

“Are you injured, Rin?” Sesshoumaru questioned, still rather confused over his actions.

“No, Sesshoumaru-sama. What happened? Is there a demon nearby?” Rin queried, her bright, chestnut eyes wide and questioning. Sesshoumaru told her they were safe and advised her to return to her sleep. Rin followed her lord’s instructions nearly without fault, and returned to her spot near the fire. She lied down near the shaking Jaken and closed her eyes, but knew she would incapable of sleeping for hours. What had happened to Lord Sesshoumaru?

Lord Sesshoumaru sighed, feeling somewhat ashamed of himself. To think that the old scribbling of some girl could put him in such a state that Rin could come upon him unawares. The demon’s thoughts returned to the diary, now even worse for wear. His anger returned to him, but he now had it firmly under his control. What gall she had, to think that he would ever consider touching her. He turned his eyes to the diary, eyeing it like an insect that needed to be crushed. Her beautiful script disgusted him to no end, knowing that he had taken some pleasure in her account. The idea of taking any pleasure from her was completely sullied now.

But, I suppose, one can never control one’s dreams.

The line had caught his eyes unintentionally, but, he supposed, he could see some truth in it. She had felt that neither a great monk nor a great demon was capable of the task, and if they were inadequate, why would some wench be able to succeed?

Sesshoumaru made the executive decision that he would not kill her, since not only was she too weak to have control of her dreams (and why sully his claws on such an insignificant being), but also stated that she really didn’t want them to begin with. The girl was obviously aware of the greatness of his station, the great gap between them, and was rightfully ashamed of herself.

Besides, Sesshoumaru was quite sure that this girl was not the first to entertain amorous thoughts of him. Many lovely demonesses often plied him with their bodies, desiring a romantic encounter. Though Sesshoumaru was loath to remember it, many human women had made advances towards him, as well. The fact that many of them were ladies of high standing, and actually quite lovely, meant nothing to him. It just showed that Sesshoumaru could easily imagine that the girl did feel passionately for him.

The demon lord also reviewed her accounts of her dreams, and felt his ego swell even further. To think, mere dreams of him had made the girl feel more alive than ever before. Apparently no moment she had spent with Inuyasha thus far was comparable to a little dream she had of this Sesshoumaru. And she was distracted by his beauty in battle, while the half-breed was in mortal peril. She felt him to be the epitome of a warrior, was distracted by him in battle while Inuyasha suffered, and felt more alive in dreams of him than in life with the boy. To think, the closest companion of the disgusting half-breed felt thus for the boy’s most hated enemy, Lord Sesshoumaru. How much more amusing could it get?

Sesshoumaru decided that he would continue to read what he could of the diary, gathering more insults towards the boy. He would read every little praise and detail she gave to him, and, when he gathered them all, he would throw them in the half-breed’s face. The look he was sure to be rewarded with would definitely be worth the trouble. Confident in his new pursuit, Sesshoumaru turned the pages until he reached the next legible entry.

Dear Diary,

Sorry about not writing for a couple of days! I was just so glad to have a chance to relax at home! Yes, I know, Inuyasha finally gave in and let me come back for ‘a day’. Of course, there was no way I was going to spend just a day, but I didn’t feel any need to tell Inuyasha this.

So, the girl returned to this To-kyo. But why would Inuyasha grant only a day? If he had permitted only a day, then that would mean that this place was near Edo, Inuyasha’s village. But surely he would have heard of it then, this place full of such oddities. Why, look at what that girl used to wear!

Her attire used to be incredibly scandalous. Her top garment was very closely fitted, showing off her growing womanly form, and the bottom article of clothing was terribly short. Everyone had an excellent view of her long, bare legs, and Sesshoumaru supposed that if a strong wind had passed through, he would have been able to see even more. The demon lord had seen very few other women who consented to wear such revealing garments. But every one of them, both demonic and human, wore clothing in a style he recognized. Even when the revealing nature of her garments was taken away, the style of her garments was strange. It didn’t wrap around the body, but seemed to be sewn shut about it, and Sesshoumaru wondered how she had even gotten into it in the first place.



So, where in Japan was this girl from? Where was this To-kyo, full of odd scrolls, clothing, and women? Sesshoumaru decided to read on, hoping the diary would reveal the girl’s mysteries.

It was so nice to relax. I was able to take a nice, long, warm bath. My Mama made hiya somen and boiled edamame, my favorite summer foods, and Mama, Grandpa, Souta, and I got together drink tea outside while the fireflies floated about. It was wonderful.

This Sesshoumaru doesn’t care.

I was able to go to middle school for once, and was actually surprised that I wasn’t doing that badly in some of my classes… some of them.

So, she went to …temple school then? Sesshoumaru thought they only took samurai children, but then again, everything in To-kyo was strange. What was this ‘middle school’? *

I’m doing well in my literature class, but that was never much of a problem for me. Literature has always been my favorite subject, and it saddens me that I just have no time now to read. But that’s just one of the sacrifices I have to make if I’m to beat Naraku to the shards. But anyway, my Japanese is… well its not any worse, at least. I suppose all the sutras I come across help keep some of this ancient kanji in me. My calligraphy’s still very good, actually, and all this shard hunting has made me the best girl in Phys Ed!

…Then there’s Geometry… Oh, how I loathe that subject. All of those figures and concepts are impossible to understand! They’re just so abstract, they don’t relate to anything, and I don’t see why I need to learn this. I learned all the math I needed in Arithmetic. I think they’re making me take this just so I can suffer, watching the boys do so well, while I do terribly. At least I get to watch the boys suffer through Literature! And then there’s Chemistry! Oh, just kill me now, because that’s even worse than Geometry. At least Geometry’s just math, but Chemistry has math and scientific theories that don’t make sense at all. But the worse is my English, because I know I could be good at that! If I was able to stay at home and study, I know my English would be much better. I actually really like the subject, but since my time shard hunting is so limited, I have to choose which ones are the most important, and, well, Japanese is just more useful….

What on earth were they teaching this girl? Sesshoumaru was alarmed over some of the studies they were teaching girls in To-kyo. The school itself was teaching her kanji? For what reason? Sesshoumaru could understand why a priestess would need to know it, but then wouldn’t another shrine priestess or priest teach her? And physical education? Why did they want a woman to build up her body? Sesshoumaru didn’t know about the rest of mankind, but he personally didn’t like overly muscular women. And then her bad studies… the maths and sciences, what use did a woman have for these? And what people spoke English? Why would her people learn a language that was used in such a distant land that Sesshoumaru had never heard of it? Shouldn’t they just teach her how to sew and arrange flowers? **

Sesshoumaru glanced over at Rin… who was clearly still awake despite his earlier command. He sighed at the thought of her. She was becoming so willful and wayward as she grew older every year. She still obeyed him dutifully, but only just and questioned him more and more all the time. He needed to get her a teacher, really should have done it years ago. Sesshoumaru would get someone who would teach her to be lady, who would teach sewing, flower arrangement, the woman’s language, and comportment. Not at all like this odd girl, Kagome.

He looked disdainfully at her studies again, and felt indignation that the males in her school were worse at Literature than the females. Really, were the minds of human males so weak? But then again, as Sesshoumaru gasped in a terrible realization, the most sensible humans he had come across were women. Rin had much more sense than any human male he had ever met, and from the looks of things, this Kagome was the most educated woman of both species that he had ever encountered. This sudden truth shook Sesshoumaru’s foundations quite severely, and made the demon hate the girl all the more.

But, she clearly wasn’t perfect, and that gave the demon some piece of mind. After all, she seemed to be failing miserably in some of her studies. Of course, Sesshoumaru was not going to admit that he found many of the sciences he learned to be incredibly difficult, as well. And, he clearly trumped the boys in her ‘class’. He loved literature, and had excelled in it when he was being schooled. And… though Sesshoumaru hated to admit it, he could sympathize with the girl about having no time to read.

But I think that’s quite enough of school. It’s really too depressing to think about. After all, I have my high school entrance exams in a few months, and should be studying non-stop for them. Instead, Inuyasha is making me search for the jewel shards while I fight for my life. Oh, I’m never going to get into a good high school!

Oh, so Inuyasha’s ruining her life, too?

But I said I didn’t want to think about that! Instead I’ll think about…Souta! My little brother sure is growing up, now! Just the other day, I saw him blushing and bumbling while talking to this cute, little girl… Tsukie-chan, I think was her name. Now when did he start thinking about girls?

I hate that I’m not watching him grow up. I think he’s taller every time I come back. Soon he’s going to be shooting up right past me.

That doesn’t say much about Souta, Sesshoumaru thought. The girl wasn’t that tall, only coming up to mid-chest on the demon.

But he’s still my annoying little brother every time I come back, too! He gave me such cheek, yesterday, when I decided to sleep in. Really, calling me lazy when I was so tired from the battle we just had. You think he would have more respect for the only time traveler he’s heard of.

Time Travel? Sesshoumaru was once again stunned into immobility. This girl had the ability to travel through time? Was this true? It must be, now that Sesshoumaru thought about it. It explained all of the eccentricities about her. And besides, why would she write lies into her personal diary?

But how could she have such power? Suddenly, Sesshoumaru almost couldn’t sit still anymore, his exhilaration showing. His eyes almost glowed in his excitement as they reread the passage. To think that such power was possible. Was it a spell she used, or was this an innate power?

But how could a human be capable of it if the latter was so? Sesshoumaru had never seen a demon perform such a feat, which meant that a mere human certainly couldn’t. Sesshoumaru seriously doubted that time travel was a common priestess ability.

That meant it had to be a spell! Would she have written the incantation down? Surely she would have, since time travel would certainly be a complicated achievement. Did she write it down in this book? A triumphant smile formed on Sesshoumaru’s lips before being dashed with the onset of reality. The girl had written the spell in a water damaged book… which he had further damaged in his rage. The demon lord’s eyes saw all the pages scattered about him and quickly gathered them up lest a stray breeze take them away. Sesshoumaru was angry once again. To think that one of the most powerful spells he had ever seen was lost to some rain and a temper tantrum!

Although… it may not be a spell. The girl came from another time, and Sesshoumaru highly doubted it was the past. Her study of Japanese showed that she was clearly from Japan, but she certainly wasn’t like the Japanese of antiquity. Sesshoumaru had been through a nice bit of it, and knew that was not where Kagome came from. No, Kagome came from… the future.

The thought was terribly exciting to Sesshoumaru. How far into the future was she from? What advancements had been made? What did she know? Did someone in the future create a device that would let people travel though time? …But then, why weren’t there more time travelers? Surely there would be more if this sort of technology was open to the public, and then Kagome had said that she was the only time traveler her little brother knew. Surely Kagome hadn’t created the time traveling device?

Sesshoumaru knew his wonderings were getting him nowhere. He wouldn’t find his answers until she told him. The Western Lord returned to her passage, hoping that his answers hadn’t been lost to time.

Oh, why is it that all my thoughts somehow return to depressing subjects like my miserable grades and the past? Sometimes, I just want to forget it all, and be a normal girl again. I miss being a normal girl! But, instead, I have to tread through a time that ended five hundred years ago, where people don’t understand anything! They don’t understand any of the facts that I tell them, facts that would help them! I explained to the villagers how clouds form and why it actually rains, and they just humored me. They smiled and laughed, but I knew they still believed cosmic forces and kami caused the rain instead! If they stopped praying to the kami for rain and started creating barometers to measure air pressure, then they wouldn’t have so many failed crops!

Five hundred years! Five hundred years worth of knowledge was stored in that girl. What a treasure trove! Sesshoumaru couldn’t look at her with such disdain as he did before. Clearly she was special, even if she desired to be normal. To think that normal girls in the future knew such mysteries about the world. And, really, how could those stupid villagers scoff at such priceless knowledge. Sesshoumaru would certainly like to know why it rained!

But, then again, maybe it’s not a good idea they believe me. If they started to make barometers hundreds of years before they’re supposed to, that’s obviously going to change something. I don’t tell them everything, like who’s going to be the next Shogun or close, important things like that. But I wish they would listen to me when I give them little hints. I try to word everything so carefully, or try to tell them things that will happen so far in advance that they couldn’t possibly benefit too much from the knowledge. After all, Inuyasha’s life hasn’t changed just because I told him about how we sent men to the moon.

Really! The humans five hundred years from now will have such power as to send men to heavenly bodies! Sesshoumaru looked up at the moon, shaped much like the crescent that adorned his noble brow. How was it possible to reach the heavens? He had heard of celestial maidens and gods going to the moon, but that was their home. Of course they could go to and fro as they pleased. But to send ordinary men!



Sometimes, I don’t think people appreciate the effort I put into not ruining their future! I’m always taking everything I bring back with me, so my backpack never gets any lighter! But I can’t leave plastic bags and Tupperware lying around, since those things don’t degrade over time. They’d still be there after five hundred years, just waiting for some archeologist to find them! I don’t think Inuyasha realizes that every single one of the bowls of ramen he eats (and boy does he eat a lot of them!) has the potential to ruin my past!

What on earth is this plastic and ‘Tupperware’ she talks about? Whatever it was, it was certainly remarkable, to be able to last so well after five hundred years. Wood rotted in just a few hundred, and cloth was gone in far less than that, yet this plastic was still pristine after half a millennia. Suddenly, recognition lighted upon the demon, and his eyes turned to the ugly yellow bag that the book had been stored in. It wasn’t any material he had ever seen before…

The demon lord’s eyes seemed to glow in his intrigue, as he fully realized just what he now possessed. A substance that was impervious to the ravages of time, and in fact not of this time at all. The bag he now examined in his fingers had not even been created yet! And the diary was just the same. An item of mysterious power created five hundred years from now. Every word Sesshoumaru read was of another world, one he had unknowingly entered. Sesshoumaru almost couldn’t grasp it, the concept was so magnificent. What powers did these items hold, items that held the essence of another time? He took the bag and placed it in his sleeve, remembering the girl’s words. Why tempt fate and ruin this girl’s past by letting some ponderer of the old find this treasure. After all, this girl’s past was his past, present, and future, in so many ways that it hurt the demon to consider it. Willing away a growing headache, Sesshoumaru returned his eyes to the passage.

Oh, but this is depressing again! I suppose I just can’t get away from it. My last stay in The Warring States Era wasn’t exactly my favorite. Terrible things have been happening, and I guess I just can’t get away from it, no matter how far I go. You see, in my last stay, we came across a dark priestess.

Oh, Sesshoumaru thought, how unusual. This Sesshoumaru wonders how the boy defeated her.

Her name was Tsubaki, for the flower of longing and love, but don’t let it fool you. The only thing she longed for was Kikyou-sama’s demise. She had been a young priestess fifty years ago, when she encountered the living Kikyou-sama. Tsubaki had before then sold her soul to a demon to preserve her beauty (if you could call it that), but needed more power since the demon had been a minor one. She had set her sights upon the Shikon no Tama, and felt that taking it from Kikyou-sama would be an easy matter.

It sounds as if the boy wouldn’t have had any trouble at all defeating this priestess. She’s obviously a fool to sell herself to a minor demon. Yet the girl had written that ‘terrible things’ had happened, so perhaps the boy is more inept than previously thought. After all, with Inuyasha, incompetence is always an option.

She was wrong, though, and had been defeated. Tsubaki had set her shikikami upon Kikyou-sama, but she countered the curse, using her bow to throw it back. The shikikami hit her in her eye, and the dark priestess ran away in shame. Because of this, she held a terrible grudge against Kikyou-sama that went past the grave.

They always do, Sesshoumaru thought, remembering with annoyance the many pitiful demons that roamed the lands wishing revenge against him for some small slight. Why is that every time he disposed of some miscreant, their pathetic orphan had to come after him?

Naraku knew of this hatred Tsubaki felt for Kikyou-sama, and used it to his advantage. He made a deal with her, giving her his nearly completed portion of the jewel in exchange for her services. The plan? To put a curse on me!

Oh, so it was the girl that was targeted. Perhaps that’s why they had such difficulty defeating the dark priestess, Sesshoumaru scoffed.

However, as Sesshoumaru recalled, the girl wasn’t that bad of priestess in the final battle with Naraku. While unconventional to be sure (now he knew why), her abilities proved to be a great asset (not that he would have admitted it to her, of course). In the beginning, though, around the time when this log was transpiring… well, that was an entirely different matter.

Sesshoumaru smirked at the girl’s talents of five years ago, how clumsy and inexperienced she was. Her power was strong, always had been, but she had been as green as a sapling. Sesshoumaru wondered why one of such obvious potential had never been trained before then. Surely she had shown her possibilities at an early age. Wouldn’t someone have noticed?

Maybe they didn’t, now that Sesshoumaru thought about it. The future seemed so different and strange. Who was to say there were even priests and priestesses in the future? Maybe that was why the girl learned in a school as opposed to a shrine. Sesshoumaru read on, wanting to know more.

The plan was to use the larger portion of the jewel to serve as a link to the pieces I possessed. Through them, she would take control of my body. She would then make me kill Inuyasha, and then kill me through the curse.

A bit of a shame the plan didn’t succeed, but, then again, if it had, he wouldn’t have had a chance to learn about the future. Besides, it would have been shameful if Inuyasha had died so pitifully. What an insult such a miserable death would have been upon this Sesshoumaru’s blood.

It’s so frightening to think about, but I just need to get this out of my mind. I always feel so much better when I’ve written my thoughts down.

Well that explains why she would risk the safety of her precious secrets. Sesshoumaru had wondered at the stupidity of keeping a diary full of such dangerous revelations.

Okay, I can do this. To commence her plan, Tsubaki needed some of my blood to create a link. She waited for the moment when I’m most vulnerable… when I’ve just come back to the past.

Sesshoumaru felt his breath hitch. She was about to tell him how she completed the feat!

I was especially slow this time because my pack was so heavy. I had brought lots of food and medical supplies for everyone, and it was all so much that I had to leave my text books behind this time! Oh, how horrible can I be!

Very, Sesshoumaru thought! Tell me how you travel through time!

Inuyasha wasn’t there to help me this time, so I was alone by the time I climbed up and reached the top.

The top of what? Tell me, girl!

I pretty was winded, and took a moment to catch my breath when I felt something bite my ankle. It really hurt! But the strange thing was, I couldn’t see what had done it. Just then, Inuyasha showed up and started complaining that I was late. Really, he had some nerve. He hadn’t even been there!

Who cares, you stupid girl?

Anyway, I told him what happened and he rushed out to explore. He told me that he had found what he thought was a demon, but it turned into paper when he attacked it. He brought back some of the remains, and brushstrokes could be seen on the scraps.

Sesshoumaru groaned in frustration. He didn’t care about some curse that obviously failed five years ago! He wanted to know to know how she traveled through time, and it appeared that she not going to tell him. Infuriating wench! And he had thought her to be something special. She was just an ordinary girl after all, just like the rest of her kind. She was just an ordinary future girl.

It was all very distressing. Later that night in Kaede-obaa-san’s hut, Sango-chan examined my ankle but she couldn’t find a bite mark. We all agreed something strange was afoot. Kaede-obaa-san then looked at the scraps of paper and told us it was a shikikami. She was about to tell me what that was when I suddenly felt the sacred jewel shards.

Oh, Sesshoumaru thought. How did she do that?

It was a strange sensation, I can’t explain it. All I knew was that something was wrong. I took them out of my pocket to examine them, only to find that they were tainted black! They had never done that in my care before!

The girl could actually feel the jewel shards? Was this a common occurrence for her, or was it peculiar to this moment? Sesshoumaru wasn’t aware of this ability, so he wasn’t sure, but then the demon hardly spent any time around the girl. He hardly knew anything about her, which was making her diary much harder to understand. Sesshoumaru was starting to think that a little background information was in order.

Rin seemed to like the girl. They had spent some time together in the past, and since neither of them was capable of shutting their mouths, Sesshoumaru was sure Rin had gleaned some information about the girl. He would ask her in the morning.

Just then, the glass container broke and the corrupted shards entered my body. After this, I knew very little of what was going on around me. I could hear voices, but in my state I couldn’t tell what they said. I was completely isolated. I was so cold and alone, I felt helpless like a child, but there was no one to protect me.

So snap out of it then. If there’s no one there to protect you, then protect yourself. Sesshoumaru truly despised the weak, because the truly weak felt no desire for strength or improvement. The wanted someone else to protect them, do their dirty work. Sesshoumaru really didn’t care that much if a being was weak, as long as they did everything in their power to change that. Look at Rin, she was terribly weak, but she was always getting stronger and always trying to improve herself. Not at all like the weak people that Sesshoumaru truly loathed.

Later everyone told me what had been happening while I was in this state. Kaede-obaa-san had explained that a dark priestess had placed a curse upon me. Inuyasha hadn’t known what a dark priestess was, which was why he hadn’t perceived the paper’s meaning.

Really, the boy didn’t know what a dark priestess was? Sesshoumaru sighed in shame. How could he be related to that?

Miroku-sama and Sango-chan had decided to set out to find the dark priestess, and Inuyasha had wanted to go too, but everyone decided that it would be best if Inuyasha had stayed with me. …How sad, I had spent so much time alone with Inuyasha, and I wasn’t even aware of it.

Pathetic. How can a woman who was obviously had some sense ever consider a half-breed, and a wretched one at that, a fitting suit?

But while I was out of it, I began to hear a woman’s voice. It said “Kill him. Kill Inuyasha.” I tried to resist the voice, but I was getting weaker every second. I soon lost control of my body and picked up my bow and arrows and shot at Inuyasha!

…Did she hit him? Sesshoumaru obviously knew that she hadn’t killed the boy, but wouldn’t it be nice if he suffered a little?

It was horrible, truly horrible. Not only was I to kill Inuyasha, the man that I love, but I had to do so in the same way that Kikyou-sama had! I’m sure Naraku told Tsubaki to do this, that twisted beast!

Oh, so he did suffer. How pleasant.

I felt so terrible, my heart was breaking for Inuyasha. I know my first shot missed, but there was no guarantee of that happening again. By the time Inuyasha had turned around, I already had a second arrow knocked and ready. I just couldn’t stop myself, but I remember telling Inuyasha to run and get away from me.

Did he? It would have been the smart thing to do. The girl probably would have been killed once the boy fled, but she wouldn’t have been in that situation to begin with if it weren’t for Inuyasha’s ineptitude.

He didn’t run, though!

How foolish.

Instead he came towards me, right as I released the arrow. Oh, I was sure that I had killed him!

Except you didn’t. Don’t drag this out, keep going.

I had only grazed his arm, instead, and he was alright. I swear, I think Inuyasha has scared half my life out of me! After that, though, the voice in my head left, and I had control over my body again. It was very strange, but we had no time to ponder it because I could sense where the jewel was.

The rest of the jewel? The whole thing? It’s a truly a shame that they couldn’t have collected it then, and have saved this Sesshoumaru so many years of trouble.

On the way there, I asked Inuyasha why he didn’t run away. I told him that if either of us had made a wrong move, he could have been killed just as Kikyou-sama had done so fifty years ago. But Inuyasha said that he just had to take that chance, and that he wasn’t going to leave me, no matter what. It was the sweetest thing he ever told me!

Revolting. Will the girl never cease in her praise of the mutt?

Once we reached the site where Tsubaki was hiding, we could see a great barrier. Miroku-sama and Sango-chan were there, trying and failing to get inside. I shot an arrow at the barrier and destroyed it.

So she had the power to destroy the barrier? But this would imply that Kagome was inherently stronger than Tsubaki. So why wasn’t she impervious to the curse in the first place?

As soon as we were on the ground, Tsubaki appeared before us and began to taunt us. Miroku-sama demanded what the dark priestess had done with Kikyou-sama, who he had seen enter the hut Tsubaki had been hiding in.

Kikyou! What a shock that had been! Tsubaki said that she came to ask that Tsubaki spare Inuyasha’s life… because she still has feelings for Inuyasha…

And the look on Inuyasha’s face when she said all of this… I couldn’t bear to look at him.

This girl is pathetic. She loves the boy, a pitiable act in itself, but she won’t fight for him. She will let the dead priestess take him. Wouldn’t anyone who was truly in love fight with all of their strength to win the one they desired? Wouldn’t they simply take who they wanted, even if that person turned away?

After she said all of this, Inuyasha rushed her, ready to draw Tetsusaiga. But Tsubaki countered by using the curse upon me. It seemed that it had not been broken, after all. She threatened Inuyasha with my death, so that he was helpless against a demon she had set against him.

The boy won’t fight? Doesn’t he realize she would kill the girl anyway?

I couldn’t stand the sight of Inuyasha so helpless, so I told him to fight with Tetsusaiga. After all, Tsubaki was going to kill me anyway.

See? The girl understands.

But Inuyasha refused. He was sure that he could kill the demon with his claws alone.

Idiot.

When he got injured, he just saw it as an opportunity to use his Blades of Blood attack. Oh, why wouldn’t Inuyasha just use Tetsusaiga?

Indeed. The boy needed to use the Kaze no Kizu just once, and all of that would have been over. He could then move onto Tsubaki. The cur’s noble intentions were hurting everybody.

Every time Inuyasha got the upper hand in a fight, Tsubaki would use the curse against me so that I was in greater pain. Eventually I lost consciousness and fell into an odd dream. I was back at home, and nothing I had done in the past had happened. My family couldn’t remember any of it, and thought that I was still half-asleep, talking about a dream.

Doubtful. Inuyasha never appears in any of her dreams.

Everything was like it was before… and I realized I didn’t want that. I wish so much that I can be a normal girl, but when I was given the chance to be a normal girl, I couldn’t bear it anymore. I think that if I ever had to return home for good, I wouldn’t be able to take it. I would have to forget everything that had happened, or it would be too much to bear. But at the same time, what would happen if I could never see my family again?

Sesshoumaru thought that girl’s predicament was somewhat sad. She was slowly ruining her life for Inuyasha, to the point where she couldn’t return to it.

But I don’t want to think about that. It’s not part of what happened anyway. While I was in the dream, it all started to fall apart. Strange things were happening that didn’t make sense. Even though I was forgetting what had happened in the past, I could still see what was wrong. What helped me figure it all out was when I saw Kikyou-sama. She was the captain of the Archery Club, and she was firing sacred arrows that I could sense. She asked questions like “Who are you? Are you me? Watch yourself, or you’ll kill Inuyasha again.”

Again? What was going on? Why would the dead priestess ask if Kagome was Kikyou? There seemed to be a much deeper connection between the two than Sesshoumaru had previously thought. He knew that the girl look much like the dead priestess, and that was why Sesshoumaru thought Inuyasha kept her around. The situation had always reminded him of The Tale of Genji, in which Genji raised Murasaki to be his wife because she looked so much like his unrequited love, Fujitsubo. But there seemed to be much more than that. Sesshoumaru wanted to know more. ***

Upon the mention of Inuyasha, I felt the pain in my neck from the shards, and I was able to return to consciousness. I was then able to fire my sacred arrows… which admittedly didn’t hit anything… but nonetheless, I was able to fight back, and that’s the important thing.

Of course, Sesshoumaru smirked.

Tsubaki taunted me about it, saying that I was an imitation of Kikyou-sama, because she wouldn’t have missed. I’m so tired of everyone comparing me to Kikyou! I remembered what she said in the dream, asking me who I was, and I told Tsubaki that I was Kagome, and no one else… then my arrow missed again…

Was the shot any worse? The girl was able to get close to her target. When the two had battled before, she had tried to shoot the sacred jewel out of his arm. She had missed, but was still able to hit his armor. It wasn’t the hit she had wanted, but it had still contributed to the battle, and that was something at least.

I was closer this time, though. The shot landed near her feet, so I was confident that I would be able to hit her next time.

See. With such little experience, it was rather amazing she was able to get close at all.

I didn’t really get the chance, though, because that last shot made Tsubaki really mad. She used her shikikami’s venom to worsen the curse upon me. This got everyone nervous, and they all went to fight Tsubaki, leaving Kirara there to protect me.

Sesshoumaru was starting to see where this was going. He had learned from experience to never let Jaken protect Rin alone. Something bad always happened.

Tsubaki let out a lot of the demons she had within her body, and everyone was fighting against them, but it was a diversion.

I knew it.

She had sent her shikikami after me to bite off my head and steal the shards in my neck. No one else was going to be able to reach me in time, and Kirara wouldn’t be able to handle it, so I knew I was going to have to stop it.

What did she do? Sesshoumaru was very curious. Did she use her priestess abilities, or did she use some futuristic method?

I was so mad at the shikikami. I fell into the trap set for me before, but it wasn’t going to happen again! I guess all of my anger and my will to save myself got together, and I was able to send my power into my bow. I then hit the shikikami with it and threw it back at Tsubaki… the same way Kikyou-sama had, but I think I did it more my way than hers.

Oh, so the girl used a counter-curse, even though she had never been trained to do so. That was rather impressive, but Sesshoumaru would never say it aloud.

Once I had done this, the jewel shards purified and left my body. I was free from the curse, and Inuyasha was free to use Tetsusaiga. Tsubaki was fleeing with her demons and the jewel as Inuyasha let loose the Wind Scar, but it only destroyed her demons. She was able to escape. We decided to return to Edo before making chase, since we were all very tired.

This is why I was able to return home so soon after leaving, since I was going to need some time to rest, and I could just as easily do so at home.

Sesshoumaru perked up at the mention of her home again. Would she mention now how she traveled through time?

We could sacrifice a few days because there was no protective barrier around the jewel, and considering the jewel’s size, it would be very difficult for me to lose it.

No, she wasn’t, Sesshoumaru thought dismally.

It still scares me to think about that attack. I’ve been having terrible nightmares about it, so much so that I stopped having my… ummm… regular nightmares.

So she was going to talk about that, instead. Sesshoumaru remembered vaguely that his intention for reading the diary was to learn more about her dreams of him, so that he could use them against Inuyasha. He actually forgotten about that, so consumed in his desire to learn more about the strange girl from the future. Nonetheless, he really wouldn’t mind learning more about her fantasies.

Oh, I shouldn’t talk about that at all! Those haven’t exactly stopped, and every morning I wake up so guilty. Well, actually, when I wake up, I’m still thinking about my dream, and how nice it was and how I would have preferred it didn’t end… but that’s not how I’m supposed to feel!

She says that, yet it’s not true at all, Sesshoumaru thought smugly.

But I feel so guilty. I love Inuyasha so much, and I owe him my life, yet I can’t help but dream about… him.

It’s so awful.

Didn’t she say before that she couldn’t help it? Why would she feel guilt when the situation was outside of her control? It can’t be helped. ****

But I said that I’m not going to talk about this! I’m going to talk about the jewel, like I was before. I swear, the jewel has given me nothing but trouble! I don’t know why anyone would be interested in it. Look at everyone who wants it or has used it. Sure, they gain power, but it’s not their power, and they know it. They desperately want to keep it to themselves, knowing it can be so easily taken away, so they become paranoid and demented. They’re willing to do anything to keep that power to themselves, and they become willing to do the unthinkable. The jewel feeds off of their corruption, goading them towards more evil, and the cycle continues. I wish the jewel could just be destroyed.

It appears the girl understands the jewel better than most. Very few understood how ephemeral and disastrous the Shikon no Tama really was. It didn’t give the owner anything, merely lending its powers, while gaining more for itself. From what Sesshoumaru knew, the jewel comprised the souls of a great priestess and many demons, vying for dominance within. They would take whatever they could to gain control, but it was more obvious when the demons were gaining the upper hand. The jewel would become tainted and dark, much like when Naraku controlled the jewel. But when the jewel became bright and pure, it merely meant that the priestess had the upper hand, taking what power she could and giving nothing in return. Sesshoumaru wondered if the girl understood that the jewel was taking from her as well.

Although, there are a few who have held the jewel or a shard in their possession, and didn’t fall into this trap. Kikyou-sama was immune, from what I know. Then there was another who…

I said I wasn’t going to think about him!

Oh, so it would seem that this Sesshoumaru was so powerful as to be immune to the abilities of the jewel. And Inuyasha is not, for she certainly would have no reason to mention him. How amusing.

I’m talking about the jewel, and how it can be destroyed! Kikyou-sama believed that a pure wish would purify the jewel. She had felt that if Inuyasha had used the jewel to become human, the jewel would be purified into nothingness. I know this is what they planned on doing before Naraku interfered.

He would give up his demon blood? Is he mad?

But I don’t think that would work. After all, there’s really no such thing as a pure wish. There’s always some kind of gain from it. Or maybe I’m not thinking about this the right way.

Her logic was odd. The wish Kikyou had described would have purified Inuyasha, removing the demonic taint. It would have been a wish that purified, and thus a pure wish. That made sense to Sesshoumaru. Kagome said that any wish made would have some selfish intention, so that even the most purifying wish wouldn’t completely purify, hence nullifying the ulterior motive for the wish. Her logic was strange, but as the demon pondered it, he began to see that the girl may be right. He wondered what they had done with the jewel in the end.

All I know is that the jewel was safest with me in my time.

The jewel was with her, five hundred years in the future? How did it last so long without being noticed? Sesshoumaru could understand fifty years in hiding, but five hundred? Would she explain?

I think the best option would be for me to take it back there. But that would probably require sealing up the well, and I don’t think I could bear that.

Wait, she would have to seal a well? Why? How does this factor into anything?

But why should I have to take all of this on my shoulders? After all, this whole thing was because of well… a lot of things, but I think in the long run it was because of Kikyou-sama, Inuyasha, and the well.

Why does she keep talking about this well?

If Inuyasha and Kikyou-sama hadn’t fallen into Naraku’s trap fifty years ago, Kikyou-sama wouldn’t have died. She wouldn’t have burned the jewel with her on the pyre, and the jewel wouldn’t have been reincarnated within me along with her soul.

…She’s her reincarnation? Sesshoumaru pondered the new information, and how it played into what he knew of the relationship between Inuyasha, Kikyou, and Kagome… and felt rather disgusted. It seemed wrong, somehow incestual. Inuyasha shouldn’t even be considering this girl!

He reread the interaction between Kikyou and Kagome in the latter’s dream, and understood the implications much more clearly. The two had interacted in the past, talked and maybe even touched. What would happen, when the same soul in different bodies, from different times, came into contact? It seemed terribly dangerous, and Sesshoumaru was rather inclined to make sure it never happened.

After all, what was the line that separated the two? They obviously had different minds and personalities, as Kagome displayed, but was that enough to separate their souls? Sesshoumaru desperately wanted to know more.

Then, if I hadn’t fallen down that stupid well, I’d never have brought the jewel to the past!

The well… the well she keeps mentioning is how she travels through time? That can’t be possible. The girl is simply not being clear with her description, and that is what is causing this confusion.

The jewel would never have been stolen, I would never have broken it into tiny little pieces, and none of this would ever have happened!

Doesn’t that mean all of this is her fault?

But if that were the case, that means Naraku may not have been defeated, and all of this would have been happening in my time instead. I won’t let that happen, putting my family in such danger.

Or, Naraku may have come into power some other way, and my past would never have happened. I may have even ceased to exist.

So what was the moment that defined all of this, that made this path the one that I must follow? Was it Naraku’s tricks, or Kikyou-sama’s death, or when Mistress Centipede pulled me down the Bone-Eater’s Well, opening the portal within the well that takes me to the past?

That well? The Bone-Eater’s Well is how she travels through time?

Thinking about this is giving me a headache. I’m not going to think about this anymore. In fact, I’m just going to stop writing. I’ve put down everything I wanted to write about, and (despite the headache) I do feel much better.

Well, that’s everything. Bye for now!

The well was her portal through time? Sesshoumaru remembered the well she spoke of, for it had been in the clearing the well resided in that the final battle with Naraku took place. He hadn’t thought anything of it at the time.

To think, such a grimy, old, dry, little well was capable of such power… Was it capable of taking the traveler to numerous different times, or was it fixed? Sesshoumaru was eager to test it out…

But then he remembered that he couldn’t. Sesshoumaru remembered the end of the battle, in which Kagome had released her arrow at the same time as Inuyasha unleashed the Wind Scar. The arrow had flown strait and true, hitting its mark and destroying the wretch. The Wind Scar, on the other hand, that had destroyed something else.

The girl had cried so much at the end of the fight. Sesshoumaru had thought it had been over fallen comrades, for many had died in that battle. Yet she hadn’t been crying over a body, or even near one. She had been crying at the remains of a great tear in the ground, where the well had once stood. Nothing had remained, just a few splinters and pebbles.

Her crying had been so terrible, so full of anguish and woe that Sesshoumaru had left. He hadn’t been able to bear the sound of her misery. Now he knew the cause, as her sorrowful cries once again rang through his ears.

The girl had lost far more than anyone else in that battle. Many had lost husbands and fathers, but she had lost her whole family. Even more than that, she had lost her home, her country, her world.

The well could probably be rebuilt, as Sesshoumaru thought more about it. In fact, it would have to be, if Kagome was to be able to travel through it in the future. But how long would that take? That well was magical, so it couldn’t possibly be rebuilt in a normal way. How long would Kagome be deprived the life she had left behind, no sacrificed?

Sesshoumaru spent a long time rereading the whole passage, especially the lines in which she spoke of her sacrifices. She had given her life to Inuyasha. Kagome had given the life she had lived until that moment, and what she would have lived. People received education because they were going to need it. How would she have used her education? What plans did she have for her life that Inuyasha disrupted? Sesshoumaru wondered just how much that boy could take and ruin, and how the girl could still love him.

Pondering all of this and the girl’s sacrifices, Sesshoumaru couldn’t help but feel great pity for Kagome.

Kagome: How cute! You care!

Sesshoumaru: Shut up.

It’s done. That was kind of long, wasn’t it?

Time for footnotes! Believe them if you like, call me on them if you want, as long as you review!

*Terakoya, or Temple Schools, were the educational institutions of Japan before standardized schooling (called gakusei) took place. They were schools that took place on Buddhist Temples (hence the tera) and taught mostly to samurai children, although anyone with money could attend. They generally dealt with reading and writing, but also taught the abacus, history, and geography. Girls in particular were taught sewing, tea ceremony, flower arranging, and other arts. Although Temple School really started hitting the history books around the Edo period, there is evidence of the schools taking place earlier, and since Sengoku Jidai is practically one jidai away from the Edo period, I figured there would be no harm in mentioning them.

On the subject of middle school, while Sesshoumaru would be able to understand the kanji for it (middle school is chugaku, chu for middle or inside, gaku for study), I decided that he wouldn’t understand what it meant, since the concept of Temple School is new and meant for children. Why would there be levels for something like that?

**This note has more to do with the fact that, given the level of education I like to think that Sesshoumaru has, I think he would understand a lot of the seemingly futuristic words Kagome uses. The word in Japanese for physical education is Hontaiiku and Taiiku. Taiiku, which is easier to translate, has the kanji tai for body and iku for grow up or raise. So, it translates as growing up or raising the body, which can be understood as body building. So, with a little thought, Sesshoumaru can easily understand a lot of the words Kagome uses. So, while I won’t go into detail about the kanji for the maths and sciences I mentioned, needless to say, Sesshoumaru would be able to understand what they are. This is just a pet peeve I’ve had for a long time, about past characters tripping over every little word Kagome uses.

***The Tale of Genji (Genji Monogatari) was written by Murasaki Shikibu around the early eleventh century (late Heian period) and is (considered) the world’s first novel, predating The Canterbury Tales by about two centuries. In a nutshell, the story is about Prince Genji who is the son of the emperor and is the original Bishonen. He was the Man and could do no wrong, and women loved him. The story is basically about his life at court, wooing women, and lots of other things. It is an important historical and cultural tool that Japan would be sorely lacking without. The book is filled with little cultural tidbits that give a very accurate portrayal of court life a thousand years ago in Japan. While many modern Japanese haven’t read all of it, they all have heard about it and know a couple tales from the story. I’m going to make the assumption that Kagome has read it, and I know that Sesshoumaru would have.

The story I mentioned was about Murasaki, who is the niece of Fujitsubo, who is somehow related to (or at least looks a lot like) Genji’s mother. Genji’s mother died when he was young, so he doesn’t remember her, but everyone tells him that Fujistubo (who is, coincidentally, the mistress of Genji’s father aka The Emperor) looks just like her (if not a little better). Genji is in love with her, but is, for the most part, denied. He comes across Murasaki when she’s a little girl, and can see she looks just like Fujitsubo, so he takes her in and raises her to be his perfect woman. I haven’t read all of Genji yet (for various reasons), so I don’t know all of the weird relationship between the three. I also haven’t mentioned other parts I do know of, since the relationship between Genji and Murasaki is very controversial by Western standards.

****Shigata ga nai is the Japanese saying that translates best as “It can’t be helped” or “Nothing can be done about it”. This is a belief that is firmly rooted in Japanese culture, and rather difficult to describe correctly. It can be understood to be the belief that suffering is inherently unavoidable, and must be endured (very Buddhist). This has been seen in the internment of the Japanese-Americans during WWII, and had a chapter devoted to the subject in Jeanne Wakatsuki Houston’s book on the internment, Farewell to Manzanar (an awesome book that everyone should read). This can also be seen recently in the Japanese people’s firm resolution to do nothing about their plummeting economy, which has been in a strong decline ever since their economic bubble burst in the 1990s. This belief is rooted strongly in the Japanese culture, and is the source of the Japanese people’s famous dignity in the face of adversity. Unfortunately, it is almost never seen in fanfiction, because it is completely the opposite of how Westerners (and perhaps Americans in particular) tend to act. And since most fanfiction is written by Westerners… well, needless to say, it’s almost never seen, which makes me rather sad. Shigata ga nai can be seen in Miroku’s dignity, particularly in the episode in which Inuyasha first used the Wind Scar to protect him. I really wish more fan authors would use Shigata ga nai.

Well, I think that’s everything. Tell me if you disagree about anything.
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