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Unreal	By : GodOfInsanity Category: InuYasha > Yaoi - Male/Male > Sessh?maru/Naraku > Sessh?maru/Naraku Views: 3024 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do NOT own InuYasha the manga or anime. I do not make a profit from this, either. All I own are my story ideas.

Chapter List
- 1-Chapter 1: My Skin
- 2-Chapter 2: Reality
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- 2
Unreal
By: God of Insanity
Warning(s): NC-17, Character Death, Yaoi M/M, LEMON, Anal, Oral, Incest, Fluffyness, Angst...and all the other good stuff.
Pairing(s): InuTaishou/Sesshoumaru, Naraku/Sesshoumaru
Summary: Sesshoumaru, with the help of his greatest enemy, reflects back on the one thing he�s denied most: His father.
A/N: Completed. Wasn�t easy to write. I�m not a fan of First Person, to be honest. But I did want to try writing it once or twice. You know, to shake things up a bit.
ANIME/MANGA SPOILER: BTW, Sesshoumaru gets his arm back in the anime, apparently, so I�m going with that from now on. So if any of you were reading the first chapter and/or this chapter and thought, �This isn�t right, Sesshoumaru only has ONE arm�� then stop your train of thought. Oh, and I like Sesshoumaru�s mother. I hate how everyone always depicts her as a bitch�even though she is a female youkai. I wish more of her was shown and known. She�s pretty much as mysterious as her son�
BTW, I have always been a big fan of Batman since I was a wee baby. I guess I just like the characters whom are tall, dark, and silent. Mysterious characters are more interesting than the ones who reveal everything about themselves to the world. In reality, most of us are our own mysteries.
Disclaimer(s): I do not own InuYasha or any of the characters except for my own ideas and characters. I make no profit whatsoever from Rumiko's work. I also do not own nor do I profit from RMB�s Reality.
Chapter 2: �Reality�
�Reality�
And through the sky I'm falling

All troubles out of reach

Below my weightless body

A red and golden ocean spreads

The licking flames are shining

Lava right ahead

Ignore impending dangers

Appearance and reality

Reality�
~*~*~*~*~*~
For the next couple of weeks, father and I hardly left his room. The only times he deemed it acceptable to leave the room was to bathe or eat. Other than that, we spent the entire time rutting or sleeping. I had no complaints about this, but then again, I was in heat so it�s not like I would have fought it. And yes, my kind enters heat, male and female, for weeks at a time. It didn�t make sense to me and I found it to be an unnecessary burden.
The time came when my heat ended. When the day came, I tried to leave, but father wouldn�t allow me.
�Where are you going, Sesshoumaru?�
I looked over my shoulder at him and replied nonchalantly, �I have been a burden to you, so I intend to leave.�
�Whether you are a burden or not matters little, young one. Whether you like it or not, we are mates. Your place is at my side from now on.� He explained as quietly as he could to me. His voice was deeper and louder than mine so that whenever he lowered his voice to whispering, it sounded like he was talking at a normal level. He just always had a very commanding sort of voice and it was hard to rebel against it no matter who you were .Even I, as stubborn as I had always been, found it hard to disobey him.
I stared back at him impassively even though every fiber of my being was shocked. I surprised to the point that I couldn�t immediately move my own body. After a few minutes of staring at each other, I found my voice again. �Mates? Father, do you know of what you speak of?�
�I am no longer your father, boy. You may call me Touga, or my title. And I will have you not question me. You are my beta and I am your alpha.� My father spoke evenly and left no room for argument. His words sounded very final as if they were set in stone.
I didn�t realize I was shaking until he enveloped me in his arms in a gentle, soothing embrace. He nuzzled my neck, which effectively calmed me down ever further. In a voice as gentle as the night he had claimed me, he whispered into my ear, �Calm now, my young one. You were alone for some time. You are with me now. I promise you that you will never be alone again.�
~*~*~*~*~*~
When I woke up, I was alone. It took me a couple minutes to figure out that I had been dreaming again. I sat up and shook my dazed head. My chest tightened considerably and I felt hollow inside. It was such a strange combination to feel. To feel such pain and emptiness was something like feeling hate and love for someone. It just didn�t make any sense. For so long, I had denied it and kept it in check. I never thought about it. I never dreamt about it. I had been perfectly content to feel nothing at all. And for hundreds of years, I had felt nothing.
Until Naraku.
I growled and got out of the bed. I noticed that it was the middle of the night. How long had I slept? I didn�t know. But it wasn�t important anyway since time has no bearing on my immortal body.

It was his fault. He came here. He woke the monster up. His reason for being here was still unknown and I didn�t like that. But I would find out. With that in mind, I left the room in search of the reincarnated kumo. It wasn�t hard to find him since he was always close by�almost as if he were waiting for something.
I found him in the tea room, seated at the table and drinking tea. He was clad only in those strange looking tight pants that I do not know the name of. They were blue and looked uncomfortable. But what was more was the fact that his naked torso was so�distracting. I tore my eyes away just in time to see the corners of his mouth twitch as he drank his tea.
Neither of us said anything for awhile. I watched from my place at the doorway as he placed the cup down carefully. Without looking at me, he said quietly, �Why don�t you have a seat, Sesshoumaru?�
I snorted at that but found myself sitting across from him. Without asking me, he poured me some tea. I didn�t touch it. Instead, I settled for just glaring coldly at him.
Naraku lifted his crimson eyes and looked at me inquisitively. �Did you have any sweet dreams?�
�� I growled lowly and turned my face away in indignation.
�Oh, we�re going to be that way tonight, pet?�
I snapped my eyes back to him and I wasn�t exactly pleased by his sarcastic comment. �I am not your pet and never will I be.�
�You act like one.�
�I act nothing of the sort, kumo.�
Naraku then smiled for reasons unknown to me. I arched one of my thin eyebrows at this.
�If you could only see yourself, Sesshoumaru�then you would take back every single word you have ever uttered in your entire life.� The kumo spoke somberly, all traces of amusement gone from his visage and voice.
He was getting to me and we both knew it. He was under my skin and it itched so badly. I stood up and turned to leave, but he grabbed me by the wrist and forced me to sit down again. I tossed him an angry, yet questioning glare. He still had his fingers wrapped around my wrist. I tried to jerk it free, but he wouldn�t let go. Such strength he had. But where had it come from?
�Do you always run away when you don�t understand something, Sesshoumaru? If it makes no logical sense to you, do you deem it insignificant? Or�� Naraku started, but trailed off. He rubbed his thumb against my wrist and I hissed. He leaned over and brought my wrist closer to him. He leaned down and brushed his lips against my wrist. I hissed again but not from pain.
In all honesty, my skin had always been more sensitive than is normal for most humans or demons. There are different areas of my body that are more sensitive; such as all my markings, ears, inner thighs, neck, and groin. That is one of the reasons why I had never allowed anyone to touch me. I lose control of myself and that is one thing I never wanted to lose again.
His lips left my wrist and he looked at me thoughtfully, but still he did not release my slightly quivering wrist. �Or�do you run away because you are afraid?�
I scoffed at this. Inside, I felt raw and naked. Every single thing he had said was true, but I didn�t want to admit it. It was easier to deny something than to admit it.
�I grow weary of your silence, Sesshoumaru. If you won�t speak, then I will force you to make some noise, at least.� Naraku growled and jerked me hard by the wrist, which resulted in me tumbling over the table and landing in his lap. Before I could retaliate, or even flee, his arms trapped me. He smirked up at me and in spite of my anger�I was struck by his dark beauty. I did nothing.
�I wonder what happened to you. The Sesshoumaru I remember was proud and he was a fighter. At least�when it came to the living. You won�t fight me, yet you fight the memory of the dead. Why is that?� Naraku questioned, his head tilted to the side. A tentacle had wound itself around each of my wrists to prevent me from escaping. I didn�t feel the urge to fight. Even if he planned to kill me�I didn�t care. I had absolutely nothing to live for. No goal. No family. No honor. Nothing.
�There is no point.� I mumbled. I know if my past self looked at me now, he would deem me as pathetic. It was true that there was still a part of him somewhere inside me and he was repulsed. All my life it had always felt like I was two people. He had been the one that had been in control once. He always liked to refer to us as �This Sesshoumaru� and he would say it out loud to others. I never cared for it, really. I suppose I could call him my ego�
Or my alter ego as Bruce Wayne would refer to his other self, Batman. While it�s true I barely paid any attention to the outside world, I had once come across an English comic about The Dark Knight. It had been called Batman: RIP. It had struck me in such a way that I had to read more of it so that I had sought all the stories that I could. Batman�s life, the people he knew, the things he said, did, and felt�were all reminders of a life I had once. He wasn�t completely like me since killing wasn�t something I felt was morally wrong. But his aura, the way he thought, the way he isolated himself from others�it was just like me. Jaken had been my version of Alfred and Rin had been my version of Robin and Batgirl. They had never completely understood me, but they had always done what I told them to do. They had trusted me. Why did they follow me? Till this day it is a mystery to even me.
Naraku�s eyes flashed and he looked angry. The tentacle around my wrists tightened considerably. He grabbed my face and forced me to look at him. I appeared unmoved and I could tell that also pissed him off. �There is always a point. To life is to fight and to fight is to live! I find it sad that you�ve forsaken everything. You are not the Sesshoumaru I once knew. Are you nothing but a hollow husk of the man that I lo-�
I narrowed my eyes when he stopped in mid-sentence. He looked away as if to focus his thoughts. He had almost given himself away, I could tell. What had he almost revealed to me? Was he going to say loathed? I cannot say for sure.
�I still believe he�s still inside you somewhere.� Naraku muttered in an unreadable voice and was still not looking at me. After a moment, he whispered as if to himself, �I will find him.�
�Who?�
The kumo then met my gaze, his crimson orbs burning into my eyes to a point that even I was tempted to look away. �The real Sesshoumaru.�
�� I said nothing to that. I knew he was right. That damned spider always had the ability to scour into people�s souls and find their deepest, darkest secrets. He wasn�t always right, but most of the time he hit close to the mark. Back then, it didn�t bother me much because normally he was only half-correct about his assumptions of me. But now�everything he said unsettled me because it was true. Was I that transparent?
�I will not leave until I find you, Sesshoumaru. You have my word.� Naraku promised and then he released my wrists. He looked troubled, but determined.
I rose up off from his lap and left the room, my head filled with so many questions. It was a mystery to me why every time I came across this kumo�I only became even more befuddled.
~*~*~*~*~*~
The next day, I stood outside as I quietly observed the dawn. For some reason or another I always had to watch the sun rise. Perhaps I felt if I didn�t watch out for it then it wouldn�t come and I would be stuck in the same night forever. Most of the time I wasn�t sure what century is was and I wasn�t certain if all I ever knew was truly dead or not. My father. Rin. Jaken. All dead.
Except InuYasha.
I knew InuYasha was somewhere in Japan living with that miko of his. Where they lived and how they were doing, I had no clue. Nor did I care. All my hatred for InuYasha and everyone else had drained away over time. I barely felt anything anymore and there were few memories left that inspired any sort of emotion or feeling within me.
Yet�
�Is there any particular reason why you are out here every day at this time, Sesshoumaru?�
�� I already knew who it was so I didn�t spare him a glance. I could feel his presence behind me and yet it didn�t bother me. He had plenty of opportunities to do nasty things to me, yet he hasn�t done so yet. Only time would tell, I suppose.
�Ah, at least that part of you hasn�t changed��
I turned my head slightly and looked at him out of the corner of my eyes. �How do you mean?�
�You only speak when you want to know something. Getting an answer out of you had always been a hassle.� Naraku explained and there was a hint of amusement in his voice. Even without looking, I knew that he was smirking.
I was about to retort when I felt a familiar presence. I looked to the sky and saw a giant white dog. I immediately knew who it was. I stayed rooted to my spot and focused my eyes on the rising sun. I idly wondered why she was here and why now? I haven�t seen her in over five hundred years�
Suddenly, an inu youkai female who bore a very strong resemblance to me appeared in front of me. She could be mistaken for my twin if not for the different markings on her cheeks. It seemed like the only physical trait I had received from father were his markings. It was enough of a claim for all to know that I was his son.
�What�s the matter, Sesshoumaru? Not happy to see your mother?� The female inu youkai asked; her head was tilted slightly to the side.
�� I said nothing and merely stared at her.
My mother didn�t seem bothered by my silence, but my silence was something that had never bothered her ever. Her eyes widened slightly when she noticed the other youkai with me. �Oh? Who is this? Your servant?�
�No.� I spoke emotionlessly.
�Then why�� My mother�s nose wrinkled when she had sniffed the air. A look of realization struck her eyes. It was very subtle and most wouldn�t have noticed it, but I was her son and I knew what to look for. �Oh, I see now. He is your lover, is he not?�
�No.� I spoke again, my voice smooth and apathetic. What should I tell her?
�Oh, my, it seems to have gotten worse over time, I see. Last time I saw you�you cared for a small youkai and a little ningen girl. Whatever happened to them, pray tell?� She inquired as if she didn�t already know.
I simply stared at her with cold eyes so similar to her own. �Why are you here.�
�Can�t a mother visit her son?�
Out of the corner of my eyes, I glanced at Naraku. He was quiet and hadn�t said a word. I knew he was taking everything in and taking notes inside his head. In spite of that, his face was unreadable and he looked calm and collected as if this was something normal.
If she had been any other person, she would have sighed in exasperation from my stubborn silence. Instead, she took it all in stride and didn�t show any signs of being flustered by my detached behavior. In fact, she still looked the same and wore a similar looking kimono to the one I had last seen her in. I presumed that she still lived in the castle in the sky or somewhere in the continent. (1)
�I have come today because it is the anniversary of your first mate�s death. Shortly before his death, he gave me this letter and told me to give said letter to you after the thousandth year of his death. In all honestly, this should have been given to you a few months ago, but you are and always have been a hard demon to find, my son. Just like your father�� My mother informed and her last sentence was said rather quietly, as if she were saying it more to herself than to anyone else. She gazed off to the side and appeared deep in thought. A bird chirped, which in turn awoke her from her ponderings and she immediately held out the sealed letter for me to take. I took it without comment.
I held it at my side and did not open it. A lot of things could be said about my distant mother, but when it came right down to it, my mother respected my father. She was probably one of the few people in existence that had never had any ill feelings for him. In a lot of ways, my mother and I were too similar. We both respected Touga even though we didn�t always agree with his actions or thoughts. The fact that we were so similar to one another was probably one of the reasons I didn�t care to be around her anymore. I didn�t need a constant reminder of who I was and what I had lost. And she no doubt probably felt the same. (2)
My mother turned her attention back on Naraku and a smile almost appeared on her youthful face. I could tell she was both amused and confused. �Hm�I�m not sure that I approve of a spider being your mate�but if you are happy, then I am happy. I will admit that he is very handsome. Now, go on inside and read the letter, Sesshoumaru. I wish to speak with your kumo mate privately.�
I wanted to argue with her and correct her, but like me, she was set in her ways. Arguing with her was just as effective as arguing with me. I didn�t like it, but I didn�t complain. I nodded my head and strode back inside the house without looking back at the two of them. I was curious as to what she would say to Naraku, but I was more curious about what my father had to say.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Once inside my room, I stood motionless with the unopened letter in my hand. I stared at it for a long while. Eventually, curiosity won against my other feelings and I broke the seal with my claws. I pulled the letter out carefully and slowly unfolded it. I recognized the familiar hand writing immediately. It was Father�s. I brushed my fingertips across the surface of the writing as if I were touching him. Then I started to read it:
�Dear Sesshoumaru,
I cannot even begin to imagine how hard it has been, and still is, for you. All I can do from my grave is hope that you are doing well and are happy. You most likely aren�t, I fear. I know you so well. You had always been the introverted type. Just like your mother. You never were the emotional type and didn�t like to think about things that weren�t logical. Your feelings always confused you and instead of dealing upon them, you would lock them somewhere within you so you didn�t have to deal with them. I didn�t even know how you felt about me until after I battled Ryukotsei. Ah, leaving you behind was the hardest thing I ever had to do.
It�s been a thousand years since my death. I doubt you have grieved properly, but I hope you have. A lot can happen in a thousand years. I doubt you have grown closer to your brother. I can only imagine you hated him for the life I gave to save him. You probably believed I favored him more than you. I didn�t. But if you ever have children, you will understand what it means to sacrifice for them. I am very certain that you have found Bakusaiga by now and that InuYasha has Tetsaiga. Do not be disheartened. I did not give him that sword because I favored him more. He needed it to survive and to control his demon. You are a strong, powerful demon who has control over himself and his own actions. You sword�has always been inside of you. InuYasha had to acquire his from my tomb. I trusted you to figure everything out on your own.
I hope you can forgive me, but not for my sake. For yours. I want you to be happy and to live your life to the fullest. I somehow doubt you have found another mate. I imagine you are lonely and unhappy�and it saddens me. I don�t want you to be that way. Do not cling to memories, Sesshoumaru, even if you don�t acknowledge your memories. It is always good to remember. But it�s not good to live in the past and forget to live in the present. You must live for the future. Allow someone else into your heart and don�t allow the memory of me to discourage you from doing so. I am dead. You are not.
I never loved your mother. I never loved InuYasha�s mother, either. I only loved you. You were my mate. I would not have taken you as my mate if I had not loved you. I mean that with every fiber of my being. I have always loved you and even in death�you will have my love. Remember that always. Aishiteru anata.
Your Mate,
Touga�
I felt numb. I felt as numb as I had when I had learned of his demise. I was tempted to let the letter fall from my hands, but instead I slowly folded it and placed it in a desk drawer. I sank down in the chair and stared with unfocused eyes at nothing. The numbness settled over me in such a way that I couldn�t think, let alone blink.
My grip on reality had gradually slipped over the years and now I didn�t even know what was real or not anymore. Was Naraku even here with me or was he just a figment of my imagination? Had my mother really come with that letter? Was everything and everyone I saw just things I had conceived in my mind? Was the real reality too much to bear for me so much that I had to become delusional?
Perhaps I was lonely and this was my mind�s way of making up for this loneliness that bore its unyielding jaws upon my person. Maybe I just didn�t want to face reality at all.
After all, reality is a cruel bitch that bites.
~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: I�m sorry, I had to end this chapter here, but don�t worry�there will be another chapter soon. I think I will end it by chapter 3. I prefer odd numbers, anyway. As always, feedback is GREATLY appreciated. Seriously�us writers are STARVING! Give us a nibble?
(1)The continent refers to China. I was doing some research one day and found out some interesting things. It was very fascinating and had some good points about Sesshoumaru and his line. I highly suggest you go read it. Here�s the link:

www(dot)zimbio(dot)com/CosPlay,+Costume+Making,+and+Historical+Reenactment/articles/51/Historical+Accuracy+VS+Lord+Sesshomaru
Now�some of it I do believe is right, but not all of it. I don�t quite agree with the parts about the family being shunned and attacked because Touga had a child with a Japanese woman. That part was kinda sketchy and sounded�like pure speculation.
(2)Feel free to disagree but from what I have seen of Sesshoumaru�s mother, she looks and acts a lot like he does. She has more humor to her, but from what I have seen, she�s very similar. It seems like Sesshoumaru takes after her and InuYasha takes after Touga.
My Reviewers:
Dragon-Thanks for the review and glad you think so. I hope you enjoy the second chapter as well.
Pumpkinpi-Yes, Naraku is making him face his demons in his own sneaky sort of way. And of course Naraku has his own agenda�buahahaha. Thanks for the feedback!
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Unreal