Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

In Saving You, I Saved Myself	By : CrimsonStained Category: InuYasha > Yaoi - Male/Male > InuYasha/Sessh?maru > InuYasha/Sessh?maru Views: 9734 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: All names/characters belong to the great Rumiko Takahashi. The only thing I own are my ideas to manipulate her characters to my whims. I make no money from writing this fanfiction.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
Chapter 1 - "But... You Are Dead."
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters to the manga/anime InuYasha created by Rumiko Takahashi. I merely own my ideas for this fic and love bending them to my whims.

InuYasha yawned loudly, exposing two perfectly shaped pearly white fangs, his eyes watering. It was mid-afternoon on an early spring day; a soft breeze swirled around the Inutachi as they travelled onward in their seemingly endless hunt for the malicious hanyou, Naraku.
Beside the fire-rat clothed inu hanyou strode a nineteen year-old girl from five hundred years into the future, chatting happily away with a young fox youkai. Behind them a taijiya and houshi, bickering back and forth about morals, lechery, and controlling wandering hands while the figure of a fire cat demon snuggled comfortably into the crook of Sango’s arm, ignorant to the annoyances around her… Perhaps not ignorant as much as merely blocking out their voices in an effort to nap.
“InuYasha, let’s take another break, my feet are killing me,” Kagome emphasized her words strongly, her azure eyes pleaded silently as she begged to stop.
His honeyed gaze flicked towards hers, a disapproving look sliding easily over his expression. He bit his tongue and huffed but abruptly crossed his legs and dropped to the grass, resting his chin on one clawed hand.
In the last four years being in the presence of the future miko, InuYasha was finally beginning to discover sometimes it was just not worth the trouble to fight, avoiding the small confrontations avoided his face smashing into the earth with an inhuman force that would have severely injured anyone else.
Kagome clapped her hands happily, sitting near him while she rummaged through her ratty yellow backpack that had been through everything they had; passing a bottle of water around to the group.
InuYasha had to say, a lot of her future belongings were very helpful on the road. The inu was man enough to admit that sometimes, a nice hot bath with that foamy hair-stuff she called shampoo was just the treat he needed to relax… Okay, he was man enough to admit it to himself… Otherwise, he merely stole the shampoo in the middle of the night, to bathe in a nearby hot springs (if they were at the group’s disposal), when everyone was asleep of course. Dead asleep. With no chance of waking.
The hanyou was pretty certain Kagome knew though, she’d given him more than a few sly, knowing smirks the mornings after he'd use it.
“It’s been such a long time since we heard any word of an ominous demonic energy,” Miroku sighed heavily, leaning on his staff as he lowered himself to sit upon the ground as well, accepting the water bottle with a smile, “I’m beginning to wonder if Naraku somehow met some kind of untimely death not caused by us,” The houshi glanced at his hand, giving something of a bitter smile as he continued, “Or at least, I would be…”
Kagome trained her eyes on the spot the sun gleamed off of the plastic bottle, her lips set into a grim line. It had been approximately two months since they’d seen any sign of Naraku; just after they’d severely wounded him (for what seemed like the umpteenth time) he’d escaped – their attacks buffeted by a horde of demons surrounding him; protecting him; all too happy to be cannon fodder for the malicious hanyou.
“We haven’t even seen Kagura or Kanna either… Come to think of it, we haven’t seen Kouga or even Sesshoumaru since that last battle as well…” Shippou mused, more to himself than the group, sporting a soft frown.
“Good riddance,” InuYasha huffed indignantly while picking at his ear with a clawed pinky. The last thing he needed were either of those two assholes coming around; he’d take the wind bitch and creepy destitute girl any day.
That received him a frown from the raven-haired girl. InuYasha held back a retort while his eyebrows sunk into a low scowl; she was always getting into his business about something or other, he didn’t see why she just couldn’t accept that not all families were like hers. He and his brother would just never get along, that was that; come hell or high water. It was the one constant in his ever-changing hurricane of a life, the one thing he could rely on to always be true and ground him.
Despite the look she’d flashed him, Kagome sighed and remained silent (much to InuYasha’s pleasure) and got out a colouring book and some crayons for Shippou to amuse himself while they rested.
“Something… Something seems off…” Sango spoke after a moment of silence, her chocolate brown eyes narrowed in thought, “It’s almost like… Things have been too quiet. Remember the last time Naraku had disappeared, and then, all of the sudden, all of the lesser demons came out to play since the big boss was gone? Now… Now you can pretty much hear the crickets chirping in the background.”
InuYasha’s right ear twitched, his gaze locking onto the taijiya wondering if she’d continue. She was right, they’d barely come across several low level demons in the thick of the forest none the less any of the village-pillaging ones that normally resided near every mortal dwellings the InuTachi happened to pass (thanks to InuYasha’s luck).
The inu paused, a queer look settling on his face as he lifted his nose and sniffed, something smelled… off. Familiar… Aw hell, he thought, recognizing it, “Sesshoumaru…” InuYasha was on his feet, a low growl rumbling dangerously in his throat. The three mortals gave him confused looks, “What? I can smell him!”
“InuYasha… I don’t sense any strong youki around… Not Sesshoumaru-strong anyway,” Kagome spoke softly, looking to the other two for confirmation. Sango lifted her shoulders while Miroku closed his eyes, tilting his head back while centration strained his expression, reaching out with his spiritual power. Finally he conceded, turning deep indigo eyes onto the hanyou and shaking his head, confirming the female’s suspicions.
“What do you mean?!” InuYasha scowled, giving them an incredulous look. He looked around, sniffing a bit more before trying to concentrate on his half-brother’s youki signature. They were right, there was nothing; his smell was slowly beginning to saturate into the air, but his youki wasn’t present. Sesshoumaru's youki was always detectable.
They didn’t have to wait long before a dragon’s cry filled the air, Sesshoumaru’s two-headed beast of burden landing about twenty metres away. The reigns connecting to their cupped muzzles clinked slightly, tassels on their saddle slowly coming to rest.
“What’s he… doing…?” Shippou didn’t get to finish before Sesshoumaru’s young human ward slid clumsily from the beast; her little legs pumping as she flew towards them. Even from there Shippou could smell her sadness and distress, causing him to close his eyes, holding back a shiver.
“Ka-Kagome-sama!! Kagoooomeee-samaaa!!” Her soft cries filled the air, becoming louder as she got closer. The whole group looked on in stunned silence while the girl finally reached them, throwing herself into the miko’s open waiting arms, seemingly unable to contain her sobbing any longer.
“Rin-chan… What’s wrong?”
“Se-Se-Se-Sesshouma-maru-sama is…is goooonee!!” Rin wailed; her eyes and nose reddening with harsh emotion.
“What do you mean gone?” InuYasha demanded, leaning over her, only to back off when Kagome hugged the girl closer to her form, shooting a sharp glare at him.
“R-Rin was w-w-waiting for Sesshoumaru-s-sama to return… B-but he didn’t! Jaken is w-worried too, and start-ted complaining, and, and crying… M’lord normally kicks him as soon as h-he starts… But then he didn’t… Cause he wasn’t th-theeerrree!! Now Jaken-sama w-won’t stop!!!”
The InuTachi stared at the girl in blatant unconcealed confusion, only half understanding the young girl’s words as the imp youkai came around the other side of Ah-Un, the Staff of Two Heads clenched tightly in one hand while his other pressed the sleeve of his haori to his eyes, fat tears seeping into the brown hewn material.
InuYasha threw the youkai a flat stare, obviously unhappy with the newest development of the day as Jaken spoke up, his wavering voice thick with tears and self-righteous anger,

“D-did Sesshoumaru-sama come b-by here? Did you see him?”
Cuneate ears pinned back against snow white hair as InuYasha squared his shoulders,

“What if I did,” he shot back; immediately feeling a little more than slightly guilty at the look of hope in Rin’s eyes, Kagome once again glaring daggers, ensuring the girl that they hadn’t.
“DON’T YOU LIE TO ME, YOU FILTHY MUTT!!! HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?! DID YOU FIGHT?! YOU HURT HIM DIDN’T YOU!!!” The irate youkai’s high-pitched voice grated on all of their ears - save for Rin who had become used to it.
Before another word could be said, the ‘filthy mutt’ drew back a foot and booted the youkai off into the trees; shielding his eyes as he watched Jaken soar. The hanyou nodded in satisfaction upon impact, rounding to see Miroku with a hand to his forehead, Sango staring at him in open disapproval, and Shippou peaking at Rin currently residing in Kagome’s arms (who was currently whispering comforting words to the younger mortal).
“He’s been g-gone… For f-forty-five moons now…” Rin sniffed, turning large teary eyes onto InuYasha that immediately tugged at his heartstrings.
“Does he disappear much?” Kagome stroked a hand into Rin’s hair as she shook her head back and forth.
“Sesshoumaru-sama… Has never been gone… More than four moons at a time.”
“Pfft, that overprotective, anal retentive bastard,” InuYasha muttered, silencing upon seeing the dangerous look of displeasure that Kagome was –once again- shooting him. Somehow, the look in her eye told him this was his last warning.
It was several hours later and the sun was casting a blood-soaked cloak across the sky; slowly darkening to night. The fire crackled merrily, Rin resting beside Kagome and Shippou, chatting animatedly with the two as if there was nothing wrong.
InuYasha’s golden eyes narrowed slightly before he pushed to his feet, turning on heel and stalking off towards the edge of the clearing.
“Where are you going?” Kagome’s voice trailed after him, the swishing sound of his haori alerting her to his movement.
‘It’d be great if I could even take a piss around here without being questioned’ InuYasha mused silently in dark sarcasm, outwardly he snapped, “I’m just heading off for a walk, woman. Dammit, mind your own business for once.”
“InuYasha. Sit.”
His knees abruptly buckled, causing him to hiss before the subjugation beads strengthened in his defiant resistance, pitching him forward into the ground. The hanyou’s ears flattened to his skull, his eyes shining bright in anger. A million things he could’ve said rushed through his mind, but in the end he merely bit the inside of his cheek and climbed to his feet as soon as the spell wore off, continuing into the woods without once looking back.
Kagome stared blankly after him, her anger rapidly dissipated before she turned questioning cerulean eyes onto Miroku and Sango, bewildered, “What the heck was that about?”
Sango frowned at InuYasha’s retreating back, merely a smudge of red between the dark green foliage.
“You must keep in mind Kagome, InuYasha is not very good at outwardly expressing his feelings… More likely than not, he’s bottled up the stress of today’s events and has no outlet for it,” Miroku’s tone floated between the crew, his indigo eyes resting on Rin who was talking to Shippou about all of the different flowers she’d picked for her ‘lord’, "I'd recommend leaving him to stew for a bit and work it out himself."
“But that doesn’t make sense…” Kagome responded gently, a confused expression slightly marring the smoothness of her face, “He doesn’t care. He hates him more than anyone… I actually sometimes debate on whether or not he hates him more than Naraku.”
Miroku gave a soft smile, shaking his head, “Somehow I doubt it… I don’t think InuYasha dislikes him so much as he’d have us believe. Whether he’ll acknowledge it aloud or not, he is the only family he has left…”
Sango gave a soft nod of understanding; she could see that, InuYasha not hating Sesshoumaru so much as he let on that is. After all, she knew what it was like to have her mind and heart wage internal battles of hate and love for Kohaku. No matter what, her love for him was devote and unwavering… But then, so was her hate. It was a demon locked in the innermost of her consciousness, ignored until it screamed so loud it caused sleepless nights; keeping her awake with doubts and uneasiness.
While under Naraku’s control, Kohaku had done terrible things… Would continue to do terrible things. Sango fought to train her expression to show nothing, inwardly cringing against the hammering pain in her heart. She inhaled deeply, closing her eyes to concentrate blocking her mind off from those destructive musings. Unbeknownst to her, Miroku recognized her ridged structure and the forced neutrality of her expression; nothing slipped past Miroku's eyes as he observed her in calculated silence.
The night wound down, Kagome tucking the children together under a blanket thrown over her unzipped sleeping bag, crawling in beside them and dragging the two close to her body, embracing them as they all slept.
InuYasha had not returned from his ‘walk’ before the group had set up for bed, choosing to remain around the outskirts of their camp, patrolling for lingering low-level demons to take out his frustration on. His frustration counterproductively ten-folded when he realised he couldn't figure out why he was so frustrated in the first place.
Eventually the hanyou came to a bend in the river; all minor threats in the surrounding area (and a few miles each way) effectively destroyed by his claws, though his mood showed no improvement. He washed the blood and gunk from himself as best as possible before huffing indignantly and dropping his body onto a large rock beside the flowing water, drawing one knee up to his chest.

‘What could be so important that you’d leave your ward and you screechy little shit of a side-kick behind, Sesshoumaru?’ InuYasha wondered silently, glaring at the clear starry sky, ‘Okay… I can understand leave the annoying imp-thing behind, but not Rin. Where are you?...’
It was several moons later, the inu hanyou having taken to going on walks as everyone lay down to sleep, or when they were all just on the cusp of unconsciousness. He didn’t walk anywhere in particular, mostly explored the surrounding area, sniffing now and then as he tried to find his ass of a half-brother.
The inu youkai’s group had begun travelling with them, at Kagome’s insistence of course, Shippou gaining a new friend and InuYasha gaining two new headaches. Well, three (or four?) if you counted Ah-Un, but the dragon demon was (much to InuYasha’s relief) very pleasant. Especially in it's silence.
InuYasha sat amidst a clearing in the foliage, dumping his body unceremoniously along a fallen log, his honeyed gaze lost amidst the stars as always during these excusions.
Sesshoumaru stalked down the path, his hair flowing out behind him; though only by his own momentum forward, for the wind could no longer touch him. His bitter glare swept the trees to his left, finding little more than some fallen leaves and the skittering of insects.
The youkai huffed, continuing his silent journey, turning his eyes forward once more. His pupils were slitted in anger as the demon still mentally berated himself for allowing that abhorrent wench to steal his body; even if he was still pleasantly surprised to find that he actually awoke later.
Though that was where the pleasantries ended, when he awoke. Awoke to find he was no longer a tangible being; awoke to find he could not feel the grass beneath his hands, nor the wind against his face. Sesshoumaru failed stop the growl that bubbled deep within his trachea.
He was not dead, ‘and perhaps,’ he mused, ‘that is the worst part of it all.’
Already he missed the sliding silk over his arm from his haori, the chill of a cool breeze, and even holding the stem of a flower given by Rin between his index and thumb. He felt only physical weight over his arm where his sleeve hung; the ground merely a flat thing of stability beneath, but nothing else.
Weeks he’d journeyed; having awoken in a territory he’d never before travelled with his nose seemingly out of commision, lost before even beginning. It wasn’t long after that Sesshoumaru discovered he was no longer part of the world he resided; soon after awakening he’d been angered that a lower demon should ignore one such as himself. He’d tried to conjure up his acid whip, only to be astounded when nothing happened. Deciding he’d think of it later, he attempted to rid himself of the ignorant-acting cur that chose to assume he ranked higher- and he had attacked with his clawed hand. Once again, to be stunned into silence as his touch passed right through the being.
At least that action itself had answered a few questions for him; one top of not having a sense of smell anymore, he could no longer be heard, seen or felt.
Sesshoumaru aimed to return to Rin and Jaken’s sides, regardless of his tangibility, at least to confirm his ward's safety; once more to be disappointed when he realized he was not able to bring forth his youki to fly.
A fury like no other had swept through the inu youkai, his mind sought to destroy all around him, to change into his true self and wreak havoc for surely in his inu form he would be able to accomplish something, make some kind of impact on the world around him.
It was then that Sesshoumaru had finally understood, an epiphany finding him bringing blinding realization to the darkness of his mind; I… Have no youki… I have no physical form, no life, therefore… No power…
It hung like stalagmites in his heart; though the witch had meant to kill him, she’d done something far worse. She’d rendered him completely helpless, completely non-existent to others, and so completely miserable. He felt like a blank slate, empty. Vaugly he wondered if suicide was an option for him or if that was impossible in his current state as well.
It was in that mind frame the dog demon had walked; wandering day after day until he’d found his way into semi-familiar territory, at least so he thought. Night had long since fallen when he’d found himself closing in on his brother. Without a sense of smell Sesshoumaru had honestly no clue he had come so close until he heard the half-demon’s nonsensical rambling and decided to drop in; finding his half-brother sprawled along a tree trunk, looking seemingly more at home there than he could ever be on any futon.
The elder youkai admired the way the night swathed his brother in greys, blues and blacks; the moon highlighting his snowy hair in a spectrum of silvers. The hanyou had grown since he’d last laid eyes on him; his shoulders were beginning to broaden, filling out in a more masculine figure. It was almost eerie how much his sibling reminded him of their mutual father; the same bright burning gaze, strong jaw line and thick unruly hair. Jealousy would not be the term Sesshoumaru would willingly relate his feelings with, but perhaps minute envy suited better. Maybe irony had a guilty play to make InuYasha look so much like the man he had never met, though InuYasha would never know. The hanyou really was quite aesthetically pleasing to the eye; so similar to himself, yet so vastly fundamentally different…
InuYasha’s brow dipped low, golden gaze closed as he reached out his youki, pushing himself hard; attempting to at least catch a hint of his brother’s signature so he’d have something to go off of.
He could see them; behind his eyelids another pair of honeyed eyes flared, looking down on him with mild distaste before morphing, flashing with unconcealed hatred and disgust, “Keh! Fucking bastard,” InuYasha grumbled, his eyes shooting open, defiance shining brightly, “Even in my imagination you can’t fucking be nice. Prick.”
He couldn’t believe him dead; but even he couldn’t dispute a certain sense of…Loss, of pack; in just knowing that Sesshoumaru couldn’t be found. InuYasha refused to believe him dead. Missing? Yes. Tortured? Unlikely. Dead? No.
Unbeknownst to the half-demon, Sesshoumaru blinked from the sidelines, his mind wondering just what exactly InuYasha had seen when he closed his eyes. He almost sighed outwardly before catching himself; even in death he would act his stature, despite the fact that no one could see him.
The demon turned on heel, deciding his time would be better spent focused on finding Rin before the soft grumblings froze him in his tracks.
“…Where… Where are you, you stupid bastard… Why can’t… Why can’t I just fucking find you?”
It was the plea intertwined with his brother’s questioning tone that had the youkai pausing mid-step. Sesshoumaru’s eyes widened just slightly, slowly turning to look over his shoulder at his hanyou brother. He watched InuYasha’s expression ranging from something akin with hurt, to confusion before clenching his eyes shut and banging his head back against the dead bark in blatant frustration.
Sesshoumaru took a few steps back towards the fallen tree, his gaze carefully examining the younger boy,

“Because I am lost, brother.”
InuYasha’s eyes bugged, sitting up and turning so quickly that he lost his balance and tumbled over the opposite side of the trunk. He landed hard before scrambling to his feet, his gaze frantically searching for the person his mind pictured so often as of late, finally landing on the youkai, “…Sesshoumaru…”
“You can hear me… See me…?” InuYasha’s anger flared so sharply that he failed to notice Sesshoumaru’s emotionless mask crack, his lips parting slightly and eyes blowing wide in shock; and completely ignored the words the youkai uttered under his breath. The hanyou surged over the tree to run at his brother, claws poised and tensed, “You… FUCKING… ASSHOLE!!”
Sesshoumaru ducked the claws purely out of habit, jumping back as the hanyou pursued him, “WHERE – THE FUCK – HAVE YOU— BEEN! BASTARD!”
Each word dropped from InuYasha’s mouth punctuated with a swipe before he threw his hand forward, eyes alight with the satisfaction of a guaranteed hit. His talons sunk into the tree behind his brother, his hand going straight through Sesshoumaru’s body - And not in the way he’d intended. A frigid, icy sensation swept over his flesh; his hair prickled, rising on every plain of his body.
“What… the hell…” InuYasha’s mystified tone broke the silence as he retracted his hand, jerking it from the wood before holding it in front of his face, clearly mystified and sniffing gently then holding it away, “I can’t… No… Smell…You…”
His older brother lowered his head slightly, surprising InuYasha more than ever before by leaning forward into his neck. The hanyou stilled, his brothers nose so close to his neck that he could imagine soft wisps of breath pushing against his flesh, fighting back a shiver. Unable to get past the extremely vulnerable feeling of having his deadly brother near the soft flesh of his neck; InuYasha flinched.
When Sesshoumaru pulled back, his eyes had lost some of their light, the burnished ember staring at eyes that mirrored his own, “Nor… Can I detect scents. Or feel for that matter.” The demon lord could silently admit, he sort of missed the smell of his brother; the soft mixture of mortality, pine, earth, and ginger – the special spicey blend that was InuYasha’s own.
Even InuYasha couldn’t feign ignorance at the bitterness that tone held, despite the small smirk tugging at the corners of Sesshoumaru’s lips. InuYasha had never seen his brother make that kind of face; it almost… hurt to look at, “What happened to you? How did you become like… this?”
Sesshoumaru felt an intense urge to pinch the bridge of his nose as InuYasha gestured to, well, all of him. His claws twitched in response – which drew a very suspicious look from InuYasha to his hand,

“Tenseiga,” Sesshoumaru responded softly, “I felt it pulse, just before… Losing consciousness… while in a fight against a sorceress.”
Losing; he hated that word. He didn’t lose, Sesshoumaru – Lord of the Western Lands, had not lost. Well, at least he hadn’t lost irreversibly in the way that wench probably assumed he had. After all, if he was here, than there must still be a way to restore him back into his body, “It must have preserved my soul, compensating against a spell cast by the magus that would have banished my existence, not just here, but from the next world as well. That disillusioned loathsome whore probably thinks this one is dead.”
“But… You are dead.”
Once again, Sesshoumaru felt his fingers twitch, amazed at how he could feel a headache forming – which was impressive when he could barely feel the ground below his feet, “Technically, but this one imagines that being as such, I can somehow re-enter my body.”
InuYasha’s reply was instantaneous, “Imagine all you want… But you’re still dead.”
“…” Sesshoumaru’s eyes glinted with barely concealed rage, his eyes narrowing dangerously on InuYasha who… smiled?
“FINALLY!” The hanyou’s eyes shone mischievously, “The dejected look just didn’t suit you.”
Sesshoumaru’s anger immediately dissipated to be replaced by carefully disguised confusion, blinking questioningly at InuYasha for a moment before his eyebrows set low over his eyes, “This one did not look dejected.”

He was trying to… take his mind off of his predicament? That is what reason told him, but looking at the relationship between them, he still couldn’t comprehend it.
“The hell you didn’t. You looked like a sad dog that had his bone taken away,” InuYasha taunted, earning a growl in response.
“Do NOT compare this one to that of a mortal's broken mutts!”
“Why not?” InuYasha asked, turning and hooking his hands behind his hand, taking a couple steps away from the once-fearsome dog lord, “It’s not like you can do anything about it. Hell! I may never get this chance again!”
“I guarantee you’ll wish you had have been smarter than to voice such pathetic attempts at verbally disgracing me when I have my body back.”
“Yeah, yeah; keep talking, Dead Man.”
InuYasha blinked, sudden cold washing through his body as he looked down to see Sesshoumaru’s attempt to disembowel him – a hand currently popping through his abdomen; a shiver worked its way up his lower lumber. The demon drew back, glaring down at his own hand as if it had offended him while InuYasha was still completely dumbfounded by the chill that had cut through him once again.
“Fuck sakes Sesshoumaru!” InuYasha’s exclamation drew the demon’s eyes once more to him, “I always considered you to be a fucking iceberg, but I didn’t think you’d take it so literally!”
Sesshoumaru glared defiantly, “I’m glad someone is finding this amusing. Perhaps we’ll be able to trade places soon,” his tone threatened vengeance that InuYasha merely shrugged off.
“Oh, and now you’re sulking.”
“This Sesshoumaru does not sulk.”
“Pfft!! Keep dreaming,” InuYasha’s easy response flowed back at the youkai. The hanyou shoved his clawed hands into the opposite haori sleeve, beginning to make his way back to the campsite; pausing to glance over his should, “You comin’?”
Sesshoumaru’s silence spoke volumes of uncertainty in InuYasha’s mind, so he pretended like he didn’t care and turned away, continuing to walk, “Unless you have somewhere else to be; but just so you know, the kid’s with me.”
He didn’t need to look to know his half-brother now trailed smoothly behind him.
Everyone was asleep by the time the two brothers returned, InuYasha choosing a tree to nimbly jump into, resting his now-weary body against the trunk as he reclined along a thick branch, his golden eyes tracing to his brother.
Sesshoumaru stood rim-rod straight at the edge of the campsite, his gaze locked onto Kagome –No, InuYasha realized as the older demon cocked his head just slightly to the left, a long lock of hair shifting over his shoulder, On Rin.
Rin spayed haphazardly beside the miko, the perfect picture of innocence as she slept. Something flickered and softened in the inu youkai’s eyes, something InuYasha simply refused to acknowledge; for to acknowledge that was to acknowledge his brother actually had a heart, had emotions and soft feelings.
And that was just too creepy.
“Whiney little brat, I don’t know how you put up with it,” InuYasha announced, loud enough for the youkai to hear, witnessing Sesshoumaru’s anger spike sharply as he growled warningly. InuYasha swung his lazy gaze to meet his brother’s, “I’m speaking about Jaken, by the way.”
The rumbling ceased, Sesshoumaru’s face once again the schooled mask of indifference. ‘Interesting…’ InuYasha mused silently, a mischievous glint sparkled in his eyes, ‘I could have fun with this…’
Oddly, the hanyou realized he felt in far better spirits than he had in ages it seemed, or at least since Rin had happened upon them. The hanyou mentally guaranteed himself that it wasn’t because he had confirmation of his shithead half-brother existence – well, somewhat of an existence. Nope, not at all. Not one bit.
He glanced back to find his brother still staring down at his once-ward, and even though his face was expressionless, there was something about the demon, something in his stance, his eyes, that cried out regret. Frustration. And pure, unbridled anger.
Burnished eyes flickered to his face, surprising InuYasha into realizing that he was staring –Shit! And at Sesshoumaru too! Though his eyes narrowed sharply, a soft tugging drew at the corners of Sesshoumaru’s lips, “Why Brother, do I fascinate you so that you have become fixated with me?”
InuYasha felt heat spread over his cheeks, DAMMIT! I am NOT blushing like a girl! The thought speared his head has he hissed out, “Fuck. You.”
Again, the sultry smile widened in the slightest way – challenging him, but on his half-brother’s face it could’ve been considered a full-on grin. And just as quickly, it disappeared; the youkai pivoted and began to walk off into the forest once more.
“Hey!... Hey, where’re you going?!” InuYasha jumped (read: fell) from the branch, padding off in haste after Sesshoumaru.
“I have no need to stay any longer.”
“What?! What about the kid? And your beloved screeching toad?!” His tone was bewildered; Sesshoumaru would actually leave Rin with them?
Sesshoumaru stopped, turning so suddenly that InuYasha almost connected with his intangible form, that burning animus gaze seeked his own. Unconcealed anger swam in those slitted eyes, a scowl pinching them sharply, “What do you not understand, InuYasha?! I cannot be seen, heard, nor felt.”
Each word seemed layered in ice as he spat them at InuYasha; each admittance was another dagger thrust into his chest. Something akin to sorrow flowed through the demon; an emotion he was too unfamiliar with and completely unaccustomed to. So he instead transferred it into anger – yes, anger he could deal with, knew how to deal with.
“I can hear, see, and... kinda feel you!” InuYasha huffed back, scowling himself at the older demon, though was surprised to find he felt no hatred or anger towards him in this moment. Surprising himself more that he was actually trying to get the bastard to stay.
InuYasha watched as the emotion flowed once more from the demon’s expression, receding like the noon tide, leaving behind the stoic, seemingly uncaring brother he’d always known. If the hanyou were honest, it was almost amazing to see such a contrast, to know that behind that mask, his brother roiled and seethed uncontrollably; to know that there was utter tumult latent in him.
“You are the only one.”
InuYasha blinked, one eyebrow rising on its own accord as he stared in disbelief at the demon, “You’re shittin’ me.”
“I assure you,” Sesshoumaru replied tightly, his eyes narrowing that much more, “I do not jest on this matter.”
“But that doesn’t make any sense!” He couldn’t be the only one, how? How could he see and hear him when no one else could?
“This Sesshoumaru does not understand the implications completely either, though you are the only one.”
InuYasha frowned, his lips pulling into a taunt line before he spoke gently, “Prove it. Stay, try to talk to Rin tomorrow.”
Sesshoumaru’s eyes flicked over the hanyou and back onto the resting child, something tugging deep inside him. His eyes narrowed in the slightest before hardening, flicking back to the hanyou as his expression drained to be devoid of anything remotely like to emotion, “Fine. Though let it be known, I stay merely to sate my own curiosity, not because you willed it.”
“Pfft,” InuYasha tried to pass it off smoothly, feeling a little awkward, “As if I would will you to stay, I just don’t want to be stuck with your baggage if I can’t help it.”
Sesshoumaru brushed past him, a cold chill pressing against the inu hanyou’s shoulder. He selected a tree carefully to sit down beside, making sure he had an unhindered view of Rin; then lapsing into complete silence, effotlessly ignoring the hanyou.
InuYasha snorted.
Morning found InuYasha awake in the familiar branches of an oak tree, looking down upon his friends, brother and said baggage. Everyone else was asleep except for, of course, Sesshoumaru.
Damn. Does the bastard even rest his eyes? Doubt it. For some reason, it wouldn’t surprise me if he didn’t need sleep.
Almost immediately InuYasha become lost in thought, Sesshoumaru's amber eyes happened to flick up to his, locking their gazes together and bringing InuYasha crashing back into his consciousness. His expression clamped into a stubborn scowl as he jut his chin forward, a soft heat filtering into his cheeks –Not a blush! – causing him to turn his head away with a huff as his the inu youkai continued to look on for a few seconds longer before reverting his gaze back to his ward.
Possessive bastard…InuYasha thought to himself, sliding himself off the branch to land gracefully on the ground. He straightened and disappeared off into the forest to relieve his bladder, away from the possibly prying eyes of the mortal women. And Sesshoumaru. The jackass would probably try to stare me down the entire time… Man can’t fuckin take a piss lookin’ into another man’s eyes.
When InuYasha returned, he found Kagome beginning to sit up, rubbing her eyes with a tired moan. The hanyou’s heart beat picked up slightly, something akin to excitement lightened his eyes.
“Nnngh… ‘Morning Inu—Yasha,” She paused mid-way through her greeting to yawn, stretching out her arms. Rin began to stir beside her and then Miroku across the way. Kagome blinked azure eyes smoothing her sleep-mused hair before looking around the site for her bag, her eyes locking onto Sesshoumaru.
InuYasha smiled triumphantly, a cocky little grin that faded into a shocked smile of disbelief as she turned away, seemingly unphased and asked, “Have you seen my bag?”
Sesshoumaru ignored her, his gaze locked onto the little girl that pushed off of her stomach, turning to scrub at her eyes.
“…InuYasha?” Her voice fell on deaf ears.
Something flashed behind Sesshoumaru’s honeyed gaze as Rin got to her feet, and looked down at Shippou for a moment, seeming to be completely unaware of the demon’s presence. The youkai’s expression dulled behind that schooled mask, tugging something sharply in hanyou’s chest as he watched his half-brother turn his head to the side, away from Rin as if he didn’t care… Or perhaps, as if he just couldn’t watch another moment.
Kagome scrutinized the expressions flowing across her friend’s face; disbelief and… hurt? Confusion? Concern? Expressions in abundance skittered over his face. She traced his gaze, glancing behind her at the tree and surrounding foliage before reeling her gaze back to him, “Inu… Yasha?”
The hanyou’s ears twitched before he came back to himself, his gaze landing on her.
“InuYasha, what’s wrong?”
Before he could answer her white movement beyond her shoulder caught his eye as Sesshoumaru got to his feet and strode from the clearing. InuYasha struggled mentally for a moment before mumbling, “Nah, nothin’. Nothin’s wrong; uhh… I’ll… I’ll be right back,” and followed after his only kin leaving behind a confused miko who quirked a brow high and glanced over her shoulder to the houshi and shrugged.
InuYasha approached the demon a little ways away from camp; he was stooped low, one knee propped against the ground as he dipped his hand into a small stream that sluiced by. Even as a man, InuYasha had to admit most of the good genes from their mutual family had definitely been handed to his brother on a silver platter. Silvery-white hair cascaded in so many strands down the demons back reflected the morning sun, a lock aesthetically parting over his shoulder. His bangs shifted against the porcelain skin of his face as the demon leaned in and looked down into the water. InuYasha’s eyes traced his tipped ear to the magenta striations along Sesshoumaru’s cheeks before flicking to the crescent symbol on his forehead; such simple symbols that branded him a full-fledged youkai; ones InuYasha would've killed for. They represented so much more than InuYasha’s own twitching ears. A beautiful picture, one that definitely didn’t affect him in the least, didn’t make him feel even the slightest bit funny. He was just... man enough to appreciate another man.
Sesshoumaru cupped his hand and drew it from the bubbling stream, the barest of disturbances was noticeable, but surprisingly in the hollow of his hand was a small puddle. As InuYasha watched silently the water suddenly fell through, as if his hand ceased to be, and dumped back into the stream. He watched Sesshoumaru’s eyes soften before beginning to burn with hate as the demon stood to his full height and whirled around, locking those deadly eyes on him and clenching his fist tightly.
“You. Are. The. Only. One.”
Each word dripped with so much venom that the hanyou almost flinched, wondering if it was just that much more of a slap in the face to his brother that it was him, and not someone else, that could hear and see him. For some reason, the thought made him a bit sad.
The hanyou averted his eyes from the intense stare, expecting a retort to bubble up, or even the slightest bit of agitation at the tone Sesshoumaru used but… He just felt… saddened. How hard must it be for the number one person (number two if he was lucky) you hated in the whole world to suddenly be the only one who could converse with you, even just see you?
“Sorry,” He muttered in a withdrawn tone; suddenly feeling awkward to see his brother in such a place of contingency. His brother, the strongest, most self-righteous, annoying, jerk-off of a demon he’d ever known; winner for the Icicle-Of-The-Year-Award, reduced to, well, this.
Sesshoumaru’s expression washed off, the fire in his eyes dimmed a bit at the apology. They both know it wasn’t InuYasha’s fault, nor was he apologizing for the act, but the outcome itself, “I will get my body back… That wench will suffer.”
The two inu stood in silence, both of their gazes trained carefully to the opposite side as the brook gurgled merrily in the background.
InuYasha felt more awkward by the second, the silence becoming overwhelming for one such as him, who wasn’t a good conversationalist at the best of times, “I, uh… I’m headin’ back. The kid’s still your responsibility –and I’ll be damned clear, I ain’t takin’ care of that froggy shit of yours- so you best not disappear again. Regardless of them seeing you or not.”
Truth be told, InuYasha was not totally certain himself why he was being so adament against his brother's departure; just something, some innate feeling, told him that if Sesshoumaru left now, that'd be it. He suddenly knew he'd never see his brother again; he'd never be able to track the scentless intagible form, and kami forbid Sesshoumaru actually put aside his pride long enough to ask for help.
Sesshoumaru’s eyes flicked back to him, he could feel the heat of that stare on his body as he turned to walk away; the inu youkai studying him silently. With narrowed eyes if InuYasha knew him as well as he did; probably trying to work out the hanyou’s motive.
‘Good luck, Buddy. Even I don’t know my aim here…’ The hanyou muttered lamely in his head; wondering just exactly why he cared enough to keep Sesshoumaru around. InuYasha figured it was guilt, maybe for being the only one Sesshoumaru could speak with and knowing the youkai would rather face a world that couldn’t see him than admit that he wanted to stay. Hell, the demon probably didn’t want to stay, but InuYasha knew he placed his responsibilities and honour high on his ethics, and used his brother’s strong morals to his advantage. At least until he could get his bearings on this crazy situation.
Seemed life got more interesting by the day.
A/N: So here's the first actual chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed! If you want to receive chapter installments when I update to you personal email, drop me a note at Shadow7272@hotmail.com where I'll compose an e-mailing list so you can avoid checking for updates =].
If you got a minute, let me know what you think!
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In Saving You, I Saved Myself