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Hashtag: #courage	By : LordYouko Category: InuYasha > Yaoi - Male/Male > InuYasha/Sessh?maru > InuYasha/Sessh?maru Views: 3157 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha and make no money from the writing of this fic.

Chapter List
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Chapter 2

He’s not going to kill me, Kohaku repeated to himself like a mantra as he made his way from the well-stocked hut that was his home, to the palace of the Lord of the West.

The late afternoon sun fell lightly on his back as he climbed the hillock on top of which lay a bigger hill that housed the castle of the Western Lord. Around him, people were finishing up their day’s work and getting ready to return home by sundown. Birds chirped merrily on the quiet, uneventful day, like any other day recently, and people chattered pleasantly with each other, the majority of them happy and content with their calm, peaceful lives.

As someone who had been just a boy when he a was plunged head first into death, murder, betrayal, and magic, Kohaku hadn’t thought there was anything much left that could make him afraid. But walking the seemingly interminable distance from his home to the demon Lord’s home, Kohaku found he had no more control over his racing heart and his stomach tied into knots, than he had over the clouds in the sky above.

It wasn’t that Kohaku was reluctant to fight for his beloved Rin. It wasn’t like he hadn’t literally gone to the very depths of hell to save Rin. He had already died, so he didn’t really fear death.

All these things, he told himself, but none of them would loosen the tension in his belly and his chest.

A few of the people he passed by smiled at him in recognition and waved. He forced a smile and waved back at them stiffly. The weather was cool and pleasant, but his palms were covered in sweat. Normally, he would have stopped to spend a few minutes talking to them, but all he wanted to do was hurry up and finish his task.

The problem was that he knew Sesshoumaru. The taiyoukai wasn’t an unknown enemy. The problem was, that though it was true he hadn’t hesitated to go deep into hell to search for Rin, it was Sesshoumaru who had brought him back from it. The demon lord had spared his life once and saved it countless times. He knew Sesshoumaru in a way that many would consider a great privilege, but the upshot of it, was that it made it unbelievably difficult to imagine standing in front of him and trying to prove that he deserved his daughter.

Because he knew Sesshoumaru, but the demon Lord knew him too. He knew how weak-minded he was. He knew Naraku had almost made him murder Rin. He had made himself a Taiji-ya of legend, but the demon Lord had known him at his weakest. Just the sight of his lean, quiet frame and the scythe tucked in his belt was now enough to make some of the strongest demon wary, but he remembered the terror of being unable to control his limbs when Naraku made him raise that same scythe against the demon Lord. He remembered the feeling of hanging limp in the demon Lord’s grasp, raised off the ground by his throat while Sesshoumaru decided whether or not to snap his neck.

Like Naraku, who had made him murder his family, and Sango, who had loved him, and fought him, and Priestess Kikyou who had saved his soul, Sesshoumaru was a figure writ large in the fabric that made Kohaku who he was now. The battle raging around them had kept him from really understanding what he had seen the demon Lord do, but he wasn’t made of the white hot strength that Rin was made of, and the uncanny, impossible things he had witnessed haunted his dreams now.

Like one’s childhood heroes that one never quite stops adulating, Sesshoumaru was etched into his brain like a specter, and no amount of convincing himself could keep his finely honed instinct from screaming to him that it was unspeakably foolish to stand in front of the demon Lord and pretend to be worthy of the one he cherished so deeply.

By the time he reached the foot of the larger, steeper hill that housed the palace, he was sweating enough for the palace guards to give him a worried look. He could hear them whispering to each other, and his spine tingled from the looks they gave him as he passed inside

No one would quite understand what it meant to be the human charge of a taiyoukai who hated humans. In the turbulent times when the Western lands were without a leader, pillaging and youkai attacks were so common that almost everyone had experienced the loss of someone or other dear to them. It was nothing unusual to be constantly in fear of youkai or bandits. But they couldn’t know what it felt like to be afraid of oneself, to be made to commit unspeakable acts, and never be sure he wouldn’t do it again. That was one of the reasons why it had felt comforting to travel with Sesshoumaru. The taiyoukai didn’t trust him, and Kohaku found he had needed to be free from the burden of trust or he would be crushed under it.

So, when he found himself in love with Rin, Kohaku found it perfectly natural that he should be assimilated into the strange family that was a taiyoukai, a hanyou, and a human child. Because Rin knew all the things he had been through and more.

But when it came down to it, Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru were related by blood, and Rin was chosen as his family by the demon Lord himself. Kohaku, in that way, was nothing – still an outsider without any real family, except the Taiji-ya Sango.

He wished it was Inuyasha whose permission he had to seek today. The hanyou would have berated him and cursed him and fought him and given them his blessing and Kohaku would be none the worse for wear than a slightly bruised body. Now, he would feel lucky to leave with his sanity and his life.

The humongous, imposing room he was ushered into did not help.

Neither did the throne.

Sesshoumaru was sitting in on a large, intricately designed chair that looked like a throne, with a low table in front of him. A servant knelt next to his seat with a glass of water, while another stood behind his chair with an elaborate fan, gently and steadily fanning the demon Lord at work. A messenger boy waited at the door with his head bowed in case the demon Lord needed to pass word to anyone, and another servant knelt next to the roaring fire in the fireplace, tending to the logs to ensure that the temperature of the room remained pleasant. The table was messy with papers and Sesshoumaru finished perusing the one in his hand before looking up with a stern expression at his guest.

Kohaku had bowed low before thinking about exactly how much he should be bowing. He cursed himself as the demon Lord returned the bow with only a short incline of his head.

He wasn’t here as a mere peasant, dammit. He was here as Rin’s future husband and a taiji-ya par excellence.

“What is it, Kohaku?” Sesshoumaru asked.

The Taiji-ya was no stranger to the palace. He was one of the best sources of information for the Lord of the West regarding any unruly demons in his lands. If the problem was more complicated than a stray demon attacking a random village, Kohaku lost no time in informing Sesshoumaru. Even the guards knew the human boy well enough to know that their Lord would want to see him even if he was in the middle of work.

But Kohaku had never been this nervous coming here before, and Sesshoumaru stood up from his seat, looking at Kohaku’s demeanor.

Kohaku swallowed nervously.

“Umm...could I have a word with you? In – in private…?”

Sesshoumaru frowned, but gestured for the servants to leave.

The kneeling servants, who were attentively watching their Lord, hurried to their feet and bowed out of the room.

“Umm… that is – well…”

Kohaku would not meet the demon Lord’s eyes and Sesshoumaru’s frown deepened.

“My lord knows that Rin and I have known each other since she was a little girl and I a mere boy of 13 years. We got to know each other well when we lived in the same village, and since then, I have had the privilege of her friendship.”

Kohaku took a deep breath and concentrated on a dark spot on the wall in one corner of the room.

“Now that Rin is of age, I – I wish that… I mean, now that friendship has…”

He sneaked a glance up at the demon Lord’s face to gauge the man’s reaction, but Sesshoumaru’s face was blank. Kohaku wondered whether Sesshoumaru was that clueless or whether the details of his imminent death were being ironed out.

“I want…I want Rin,” Kohaku blurted.

There was silence for a long moment and when Kohaku gathered the courage to look up, Sesshoumaru was staring at him, frozen. When Kohaku’s eyes met his, his brows drew down in a look Kohaku hadn’t seen in many years.

“What did you say?” he asked quietly, and took one single step towards the demon slayer.

All his years of training and working as a Taiji-ya could not keep him from taking an involuntary step back.

“I- I mean I am here to ask my Lord for Rin’s hand in marriage,” the words were spoken in a rush and held none of the confidence he had been practicing all the way here.

A few seconds later, when his life didn’t flash before his eyes, he dared to glance up.

Sesshoumaru was looking at him contemplatively. Kohaku knew that look meant that the demon king was either considering his words, or thinking about how his head would look severed from his body.

After long, nerve-racking moments, he asked, “How old are you, Kohaku?”

Kohaku was startled. “I – I’m 19 years old, my Lord.”

Sesshoumaru tilted his head slightly to the side to better inspect his prey. “And in those nineteen years, Kohaku, what do you think you have done to deserve Rin’s hand?”

Kohaku blinked quickly. “I – I don’t know… I mean I have-”

But Sesshoumaru had already turned away from him. “Come back when you have an answer.”

Kohaku’s angry, flustered brain briefly considered throwing his kusarigama at the demon Lord’s back. The demon Lord was unarmed and unarmored. But the same instinct that keeps us from jumping off of cliffs stayed his hand.

Kohaku turned around, bowed shortly, and left.

A/N: To be continued in the next chapter ^.^
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