Falling Away | By : Onyxlight Category: InuYasha > Yaoi - Male/Male > InuYasha/Sessh?maru > InuYasha/Sessh?maru Views: 14246 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
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Revised Beta'd Version
Beta: The absolutely wonderful and awe-inspiring Shigure-san!
(Sesshoumaru's POV)
The morning meal was tense, to say the least; the air was filled with the weight of many unspoken questions. No one was happy at my dismissal of earlier events, but none were foolish enough to question me either. The Fox Child and Rin seemed to be the only ones unaffected by the tension.
As the meal drew to an end everyone stood to leave, I had questions on my mind about my brother's rather erratic behavior. I am used to him being discourteous, crude and insolent but this recent tendency toward emotional outbursts followed by fleeing is just not his usual style. Many, many questions ran through my mind and I think the Taijiya would be a good source of answers.
I watched her eyes flicker constantly toward the Monk, who had gone pale earlier only to now look near fainting. I observed his shaky hands clumsily place his dishes on the edge of the table as he excused himself in a rush. This action grabbed the attention of the ookami as well. They both sought to follow the monk until I spoke up.
"Taijiya, might I have a word you?"
She glanced at the wolf, and he nodded in return.
"Yes, Lord Sesshomaru." She replied.
"Follow me."
I said nothing until we reached the privacy of my chambers. I motioned for her to have a seat. It was only after she was seated that I began to speak.
"I am sure, being the trained warrior you are, that you have noticed the recent changes in Inuyasha."
"Hai, I have, in both of you."
I gave her a quizzical look. She sighed as she stood to walk over to look out a window.
"Permission to speak freely, my Lord."
I gave an affirmative nod.
"I have noticed that over the past few months there has been little or no time that the two of you are not together."
"We are brothers, is that so strange?"
"Not in general, but for the stoic Lord of the west and my generally reclusive friend it is a bit off the beaten path."
I said nothing.
"I have also noticed your and Inu-san's Kokoro's have been mixing at times. Curious as to what this meant I went to the records hall to do some research only to find Jaken digging for the same answers as I..."
"Well what answers did you find if any at all?"
She looked down then back out the window.
"Signs of impending mating..."
My head whipped around so fast my hair stung my cheek. Instantly my mind brought me back to that little voice in my head from earlier. I was just about to comment on this when a slight itching sensation averted my attention. Slowly, as to not behead the damnable little creature, I removed my father's old retainer Myouga from the base of my neck.
"Ah, Lord Sesshomaru, I see the centuries have not changed your blood in the slightest."
"I see Kilala was able to find you," said Sango, her amusement at the situation evident on her face.
"Why my brother has not ended your existence is beyond me."
"Brother? Then what Kilala conveyed to me on the way must indeed be true."
"And just what might that be?" I asked trying my best not to sneer at the old flea.
"That you two are actually getting along...rather well I might add." He responded, with more than just a little mischief in his voice.
"I should have known that Kilala would sense it as well," said the Taijiya as she held out a hand for the flea to stand upon.
She swiftly filled the flea in on enough details to bring him up speed in our current conversation. He asked us both a few questions before he let out a long sigh and took a seat upon her hand.
**********************
(Inuyasha's POV)
What is wrong with me? All I can think about is him. This is driving me insane. And what in the hell was this morning all about anyway? If the fact that it happened wasn't unsettling enough Rin had to go and inform everyone. Life just keeps getting more interesting by the day. I don't want to even think about how I'm going to explain this to everyone.
So here I am, scratching my neck and wandering around the courtyard like a lost soul, trying to figure out why I have the hots for my brother...
**********************
(Kouga's POV)
For a human, Miroku can sure move fast when he wants to. He was down halls and around corridors in record time.
"Would you care to slow down?"
"Leave me be Kouga. I'm not really in the mood for conversation right now."
"Are you even paying attention to where you're going?"
"Right now I really don't care."
Fed up with the Houshi's attitude toward the situation, I grab him by the arm, bringing him to a halt.
"Damn it Miroku, this is not something you can run away from!"
"Don't you think I know that?"
"Then what the hell are you doing?"
"I...I don't know...I don't know anything anymore."
"I don't know a whole lot myself, but I know avoiding things won't make them better. Maybe this is not at all what it seems to be."
"Don't make me laugh Kouga. Did you see his face right before he took off? It was almost as red as his haori. You know Inuyasha; if it had been a misinterpretation he would have cleared it up in his usual blunt manner. But this was no misunderstanding of events, something on a much more intimate level is happening between him and Sesshomaru and…and…" stuttered Miroku.
"And what?"
He avoided my gaze in favor of looking down at the stone hallway floor. At this moment I felt truly sorry for him and I had no way to console him because what he said was true. Something is happening between the two Lords and that is bringing a cold dose of reality down upon the monk's shoulders. See his major reason for not telling Inuyasha how he felt was his firm belief that Inu only had eyes for the ladies. This now appears not to be the case.
There was a long period of silence before he spoke.
"And I'm jealous," admitted the monk, in a voice that was barely above a whisper. He then leaned against the wall and slowly slid down into a sitting position. "Jealous, hurt and confused."
"Oh."
"Kikyou I could deal with, Kagome that was doable as well...but Sesshomaru, that stings."
"Well the only advice I have for you is...well none at all really. In any other circumstances, I would say fight for the one you love, but considering who your competition is it could possibly get you killed. So I guess I really don't know what to say."
"I don't think there is really anything to say."
"There isn't."
"So what now?"
"I take my weary body to my room in hopes of clearing my head and getting some sleep."
"I'll walk with you if you don't mind."
"I don't mind at all."
*******************************
(Miroku's POV)
Kouga lingered for a few minutes after we got back to my room and by the time he left it was all I could do not to collapse from the mental exhaustion. I kicked off my sandals, not caring where they landed and threw myself across the bed. The harder I tried not to think of Inuyasha the more I thought of him. In all of my wildest dreams, and believe me they do get wild, I would have never dared even consider that Inuyasha would have ever thought of another man as more than a friend. I now see that I was quite mistaken. And what possibilities my assumptions have cost me are innumerable.
He has dominated my thoughts for so long; I no longer know what it is like to not think about him. After I came to terms, no matter how shaky, about how I feel for him. I then resigned my self to forever be admiring him from afar – keeping him as a friend, if never anything else, for fear of losing him altogether.
Only to find out my assumptions were wrong, as well as the full reason why Hakkaku and Ginta were inseparable. Apparently demon society is a whole lot more open about such things in comparison to humans. Kouga said in demon society sex, relation, rank, classification, species it didn't really factor in when it came to choosing a lifelong mate.
I lay on the bed just staring at the ceiling trying to absorb it all.
I must have dozed off because before I knew it a hand was on my shoulder shaking me.
"Hey, Miroku, you got a minute?"
"Huh…" I responded still half asleep. When I finally get a hold of my senses and open my eyes, I see amber set in thick lashes, against slightly tanned skin and framed in silver. And immediately my senses are lost again, and I have to fight hard to bring them back
When I do bring them back, I notice that he looks troubled.
"What's the matter Inuyasha? You look distressed."
"Well that's one way to describe how I feel." He said as he sat down beside me, crossed his legs as his hands disappeared into the sleeves of his haori.
He sat there for quite a while saying and doing nothing but staring off into the distance. In a way, I felt guilty for taking this opportunity to blatantly stare at him, because I know he thinks I am merely waiting on some sort of response. But help myself, I cannot. In life, some chances are truly rare, and as I found out the hard way today, they are at times easily squandered.
"Miroku?" He calls my name in a voice that vaguely sounds like his own.
"Yes Inuyasha?"
"You're the group expert on relationships; I guess I need some advice."
At that statement, I almost laugh out loud.
"If that's what you want to call me."
"Well in comparison to me you are."
Again the laughter almost escapes me.
"Well after Rin's little revelation this morning and my excellent handling of the situation, I suppose there's no real point in trying to dance around what's really going on. I just wish I knew if what I feel is real, or at the very least knew what to label it."
At this, he has me somewhat confused, so I am forced to ask, "What do mean how to label it?"
"I really don't know how to tell you, it's just all a bunch of jumbled thoughts in my head."
"Oh," that was all I had to say as I continued to stare at my Hanyou friend.
"I guess the best way to describe it is that he is mind consuming."
"Huh?" I asked somewhat confused by his statement.
"Here recently there never seems to be a point in time where he, in whatever way, is not on my mind. I spend almost every waking hour with him and sometimes that still feels as if it is not enough. He is part of everything that happens with me anymore and I was not bothered by this in the least until a couple of days ago."
"What happened between you two a couple of days ago?"
"I'm not sure how you will feel about all of this, but if it makes you uncomfortable I'll understand."
"Why, would it make me uncomfortable?" I asked
"Because, it makes even me uncomfortable!" he all but shouted.
"You are my friend, Inuyasha, nothing will ever change that."
I watched as a smiled graced those flawless features as he began to slowly pace back and forth at the foot of my bed. And the more he talked about how much he felt for Sesshomaru, the kiss, and every thing that happened on the moonless night the harder and farther my heart sank. By the time he was going on about how what he felt for either Kikyou or Kagome pales in comparison to how this felt for him, it was all I could do to hold back the storm of emotions that was threatening to pour out of my very soul.
I felt an all too familiar sting stirring behind my eyes and I began to pray to all Gods listening that this soon comes to a pleasant end.
*************************
(Kouga's POV)
It had been a few hours and I found myself wandering back down the halls to check on the monk. He didn't look to good when I left him earlier. I was quite a few doors down from his room when I caught Inuyasha's scent along with his; quickening my pace I got within earshot so I could hear what was going on.
To my complete and utter shock and probably Miroku's horror I heard Inuyasha in there spilling his guts about how he was starting to feel for Lord Sesshomaru. This had to be pure torture for the monk. Knowing I had to do something to save him from this I rapidly knocked on the door I rattled off the best lie I could come up with once the door was open.
"Oh, there you are Inuyasha, sorry to interrupt your conversation but our holy friend is needed down at the courtyard, it appears one of his assistants has managed to let some chant get way out of hand."
"No problem I was just babbling around in circles anyway," Inuyasha replied as he moved toward the door. "I'll catch you later Miroku, thanks for listening."
"Anytime, my friend."
With a simple nod of his head, the Hanyou went about his merry way. Once he was gone and the door was shut, I turned to face a pretty shaken-up Houshi.
"Are you OK, Miroku?"
"I guess you heard."
"Not all, but enough to know it was not something you probably wanted to endure much longer."
"Whether you know it or not, you were an answer to an unspoken prayer."
**********************
(Sesshomaru's POV)
It had been a while since the Taijiya and the Old flea had left my chambers and here I was still musing over what had been said.
A mate.
Not something I had ever given any thought to in my soon to be 432 years. In fact other than finding a suitable demon to rut with, in order to get rid of certain urges, this sort of thing has never been something to stay on my mind. Once it was mentioned, I supposed it is strange for one of my age and position to still be without a mate. But again, as I have said before, I have never had the desire to have one – until now.
And the fact that Inuyasha seems to be going through his passage into adulthood, something the slayer said humans referred to as adolescence, and it takes them years to get through it. Which explains the recent fluctuation in his emotional state as well as his erratic behavior; it also explains why we are just now 'noticing' each other in this way. Myouga said for even a half demon this should last no longer than a few weeks more at most. That was quite the relief. The old flea seemed way to calm about all this which is leading me to believe he knows more than he has said. I have no more time for his riddles and tales today so for now I will let him be.
I do not get to think on things much more before I sense my bother approaching. I can tell he is troubled by all of this even before he gets to my chambers. Calm. Soothe. Here we go with this again. Even though I now know what the cause of this new voice in my head is, it does not mean that I care for it anymore than I did before. I am used to being the final say in all that I do and this troublesome voice now has me second-guessing myself and changing my reactions, at least as far as Inuyasha is concerned.
A gentle rap is heard.
"You may enter, Inuyasha."
Entering the room, he says nothing and begins to pace about. I know he is beyond frustrated at the recent turn of events and I am sure Rin's involvement this morning did not help matters any. But if what Myouga had to say is true then things will level out quite soon. I guess I will just have to bear with him until this is over.
"Smells like Myouga has been here."
"Indeed he has."
"What did he have to say? Or was he just running for cover again?"
"Well, he actually had a lot to say…about you as a matter of fact."
He crinkled his brow at what I just said. Not to my surprise, filling him in on what the flea had said did not improve the expression on his face. If anything else he looked more down-trodden than he did when he first arrived.
"I thought you would be relieved to know, that your current state is not a permanent one."
"Yeah… I guess."
I stood there, watching him pace and frown and huff about, until I could not stand it any longer. Closer. Comfort. Walking up behind him, I (for whatever reason), hesitate, and when I do I feel him tense in response. Not wanting to send the wrong signal I wrap my arms around him and pull him against me. At this, he lets out a sigh of what sounded like relief.
We stay like this until the sun begins to set. With a reluctant sigh, he pulls out of my embrace, turns to me and says:
"I guess I need to get going."
"Why?"
"Well I'm kind of hungry and it will soon be time to turn in for the night."
"I'll have one of the servants bring us something. And as for the night, you are more than welcome to stay right where you are."
"Oh, I am, am I?"
"Do not make me repeat myself, Inuyasha."
"What if I liked hearing what you said?"
He is acting rather coy – two can play at this game.
"All the more reason for you to stay, who knows what, you might hear or find to your liking."
"Is that so?" he asked, beginning to approach me with a rather sinful gleam in his eyes. He casts his eyes down as his tongue darts out to moisten his lips and when he stops in front of me, those golden eyes that usually look so childlike are now looking anything but when he says:
"Show me."
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