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Red Lotus	By : Maddiesan Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Kagome > Sessh?maru/Kagome Views: 20070 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 7
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 20
- 21
- 22
A/N: So this chapter has over 12,000 words. It's literally two chapters. But I couldn't - I don't know. Didn't feel right to break it into two. Actually, nothing about this whole chapter feels right. I re-wrote it like 3 times (that's a lot of words). And I still don't know how I feel about it. I don't know if I wanna cry or clap. I think I wanna cry. So hopefully nobody hates me over this. This has been part of my ideas since the beginning. I just don't know anymore if I like it.
I don't think I've ever stressed this much over a chapter.
Red Lotus
Chapter 21: The Proscription
"Kagome?"
As Hojo waved his hand in front of her face, she snapped back to reality. She offered him an apologetic smile and shook her head softly. "Sorry, I got lost in my train of thoughts," she apologized.
He dismissed her apology with a grin of his own. "No problem. Sometimes, I talk too much." Nervous, he played with the cuffs of his white shirt, the gold button catching the sun, and lifted them up past his elbows. He was quite afraid of becoming an annoyance. Maybe he invited her out too much? Maybe he was being too pushy… He enjoyed his outings with her… was that such a bad thing altogether?
"Oh no, that's not it!" She felt the heat come to her cheeks as memories flooded her mind. She could not possibly tell him the truth about her current distraction. "I - Sometimes I don't sleep very well." Kami, when did she turned into such a liar?
He ran his fingers through his sandy blonde hair, slicking them back, and allowed his chest to rise back down. "Kagome, if you're tired we can cut this short." He knew it, he was pushing her. He should have noticed it earlier.
Again, she smiled. "I'm okay. I wouldn't have asked you out for coffee if I didn't want to see you."
This distraction was turning out to be a disaster; no matter how hard she tried, Kagome could not get Sesshomaru out of her head. He always pushed her in direction of Hojo, despite the fact that he decidedly harboured no positive feelings towards the man. Kagome's mind was clouded with confusion and she needed something to take her brain off what happened. Hojo was the only friend she had and though she could not share the situation with him, she hoped that some company would take her mind off of things. She was utterly wrong. Instead, her mind always wandered back to the event that took place. He left. He left her there. She supposed he enjoyed it - after all, he did - well he finished. Kami she never expected…she never entertained the idea that… she swallowed! It was not expected. But - but it happened and she thought - why did she do that?
Yes, he did mention…fucking her on the coffee table but he certainly did not appear to be happy about it. After he escaped away from her, he did not talk to her again - not a single word. Actually, she never even saw him exit the bathroom. She waited for a bit but then, when he did not return to her side in the livingroom, she disappeared into her bedroom and hid there. She even waited until he left before having breakfast - not that she had much of an appetite. She had an apple and then, she texted Hojo. He was all in for a coffee and it gave her the perfect excuse to get away from the apartment.
"I'm glad you texted me," he said, not looking directly at her while bouncing his left knee.
"I'm glad too."
She missed the faint blush that flashed across his face as he hid his visage away from her sight.
"So, how's your husband?"
"He's -good," she stammered. "He works a lot." Actually he was working on avoiding her - and it was all her fault. Everything was already messy and complicated enough. Why did she have to make it worse? She should have kept things the way they were. She was a fucking idiot. There was a lump in her throat and the guilt was churning at her stomach.
"Doesn't spend a lot of time with you."
"Well, he has to work, he has to take care of all the bills."
"No, of course," he quickly replied, putting a smile on his face- even if it was not as wide as before. "It's simply too bad that you do not get to spend a lot of time together."
"Yeah, it'll - it'll be better. You know, later on." She forced a smile and then raised her red coffee cup to her lips. Coffee. She never used to drink that.
The rest of the morning went by less awkwardly, although Kagome's mind was not as focus as she would like and frankly, her appetite was simply not returning. She did her best to hide it from Hojo and he barely seemed to notice. They made a little bit of chitchat until he apologized saying he had to leave for work. She apologized in return for holding him up.
"I said yes because I had time," he said as he dropped some money on the table.
Kagome turned around, ready to retrieve money from her black purse but Hojo stopped her. "I got this."
"No, I…"
He shook his head and put more money on the table. "Honestly, I want to pay, else I'll feel bad."
Either way, she would end up taking someone's money and she felt horrible about it no matter what. A sigh rolled off her lips and she conceded. "Next time, I will pay."
He nodded despite the fact that he would never allow that to happen. It was clear to him that Kagome was not treated as well as she should. He never met her husband but he already felt a certain dislike towards him. Each time he met up with Kagome, the hatred grew. She should not be hanging out with him so much, she should be seeing her own husband. Instead, he manifestly made no attempt to be with her. Yes, he could understand that it might be difficult to be the only provider, regardless of that, Kagome almost died. He should enjoy every single moment he had with her. Even now, he could not comprehend how someone as magnificent and strong as her was doing with a husband of that kind. Why did she agree to marry that guy? She was without doubt unhappy.
It was none of his business.
"I hope we can do it again."
"So do I," she said, clutching her fingers around the curved, leather handle of her purse. It hung in front of her legs, casually smacking against her large black pants with each step she took.
They walked to the bus stop in silence while Hojo hid his hands in the pocket of his beige dress pants. His stop was first. They both came to a halt, awkwardly staring at their feet. Hojo popped his lips and lifted his head, staring into the distance, past the luscious green trees, only to see his bus was coming.
"Thank you for this morning."
"Thank you," she said, pink petal lips stretching wide.
He leaned forward slightly, then backward, and then forward again, nervous about the goodbye. He intended on pressing his lips to her cheeks as a thank you for the good morning but he missed. Instead, his lips grazed hers and they both stood that way for a second. He was the first to pull away. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't mm-" he stammered, digging through his pockets for his bus pass. He dropped it onto the light grey cement and picked it up rapidly. "I didn't mean to, I'm sorry."
Hojo rapidly turned around and hopped into the bus, unable to look at Kagome any longer. When the black frame plastic doors closed behind him, his heartbeat lessened. He made a very bad mistake and he screwed things up. She was never going to talk to him again. He lost her. He did not even have her and yet he lost her. His cheeks were burning red, his forehead was covered in sweat and he could not even stand to look outside the window; he could not see her face. The morning was so perfect and now, all of it was gone. One gesture and he destroyed everything.
Kagome lifted her hand, brushing her fingertips against her lips. It was not a kiss, it was merely a peck. It happened so quickly that she did not even realize it took place until he tore his lips away from hers. Her heartbeat picked up and she stood there motionless. This was not good. It was an accident, of course it was; nobody would be interest in her but - she could not see Hojo anymore. It would be uncomfortable and she did not even know how she could look at him. This was her escape from the awkwardness of her life. That little piece of heaven was gone. Nothing was normal. Nothing would ever be normal again. She sighed, letting her arm fall to her side. She tugged on her long white shirt and pinched her lips together.
She should go home. She had to go home.
Home. Where her husband was going to avoid her.
She took small steps all the way to her bus stop and then waited by the tall metal pole. After a while, her own bus arrived, memories of the incident flashing through her mind. The entire way, her heart was skipping a beat. She felt wrong, she felt somewhat disgusted with her life. The relationship she had with Sesshomaru was not a relationship. It was a friendship. There was a mutual respect but they were not true mates and they were not husband and wife. He often told her that she should find her own life and leave. He wanted her to be able to do what she wanted. It was not cheating that someone else kissed her on accident. But none of those thoughts erased the feelings inside of her chest. As if she needed something else to feel bad about.
The way home appeared too short and before she knew it, she was standing in front of her front door. She sighed heavily before getting her keys out of her purse and then she unlocked the door. True to form, she found the whole place empty. Relief washed over her and right away she beamed for the bathroom. She needed to clean herself. It would not do much and he would probably still be able to smell Hojo but - that should not make him mad. He wanted her to see him, and she did.
A shower and a good book. That would fix everything right?
-R-
Clang.
Kagome sat up in a flash, her book falling upon the ground. She panted, glancing around, confused as to her current location. She quickly realized that she was in her bedroom; she must have fallen asleep while reading. She ran her fingers through her sweaty short hair and licked her dry lips. What woke her up this way? Her heart was racing as she threw her legs over the edge of the bed. Her feet quickly made contact with the cold ground and she walked in direction of the door. She opened it, peaking her head outside. Immediately, she spotted the familiar long silver hair and she nearly coward back into her bedroom. His back was facing her while he appeared to be drinking. Although she could not tell the content of his glass.
She took small breaths, collecting herself as to not let him sense her panic. Then, she closed the door, resting her back against it. Would she truly never speak to him again? That was impossible. The inevitable would eventually happen…and they would have to see each other. She should not hide on the other side of the door. She should come out and maybe even try to speak to him? It was insane to live in the same place and not share a word. Right?
Meanwhile, Sesshomaru's long, clawed fingers were tightly wrapped around his glass - he was surprised it had yet to shatter into pieces. Of course he heard her. What did she take him for? His senses were far from dull. As a matter of fact there was a scent that was bothering him. Ever since he stepped into the apartment it assaulted his nose but he had yet to put his finger on it. He quickly gave up, bigger matter weighing on his mind. Plus, he did not want to take a chance and get close to her. All the tips his half-brother gave him, all the trouble he went through to delay this moment…all for nothing. Ever since she wrapped her lips around him…his self control snapped. Moving, going through the motions, proved to be rather difficult.
All he could think about was his intense desire to fuck her senseless. He was no longer a prideful creature, he was a senseless beast, victim of his desires. He disliked it. Which was why he was fighting this as hard as he was. If he were to march over to her and tear her clothes, she would not stop him. She would let him touch her and take her. However, the moment he would do that would be his final surrender and as expected the final step was the hardest to take. Even if he admitted to himself countless times that he could not avoid it. He would accept this more if - if his body was not forcing him. He wanted to remain rational through it all and he could not. Thoughts filled his mind, lust fueled his body… he had no patience, he had no tolerance.
His body would give him no rest until he took her.
He inhaled deeply, feeling his chest with air, and he then proceeded to exhale loudly. He put his glass down on the light marble counter, the swirl pattern reflecting in his clear glass, and then raised the sleeves of his grey shirt. Again, the unknown scent floated around his nostrils. His nose twitched, once then twice… He knew that scent. It was that boy. There was a flash of red in his eyes, rage threatening to rear its ugly head. He was tensed, he was pushed to his limit. He could barely resist the call of her body, the need to complete what was left uncompleted and now - she was going to push him over the edge? She was going to force him down the path by teasing his jealousy? The first time she came along covered in his scent, he barely controlled himself. He became a disgusting prey of his feelings as if he were a low class youkai.
Her door creaked and he heard her walk outside of her room.
He did not give her time to make it past the doorway.
There was a loud thud. And then, before Kagome could snap her eyes closed, she was violently pushed against her wooden door. It strained underneath the pressure and she winced, her face crunching into a displeasing grimace. Her head hit last causing her to whimper in pain. When she opened her eyes again, Sesshomaru was pressing his body against hers. His large hands were laid flat against the door, right near her waist. His breaths were loud and short as his nose hovered near her sweet, soft neck. The air was knocked out of her chest and she could not even speak. Instead, she stood there, voiceless, while he made his way closer and closer to her lips. It was then that a wave of guilt hit her. He could not possibly know could he?
"S-sesshomaru," she managed to say.
He answered by sniffing her face.
"You saw him."
"Who?" She knew who.
"The boy."
She nodded. "We're friends."
Friends. It was not friendship he smelled on her. There was a heavy coat of guilt and - and there was something else. He could not focus on it. His control was gone, shredded to pieces and his mind constantly tortured him with images of what she did to him. He only managed to keep himself away from her because they did not cross path. The scent of another was too much, it was sending him over the edge. He knew he hurt her by pushing her against the door and he never meant to do that. Unfortunately if he wanted to keep his control, his sanity, he had to relinquish some in other aspects. His fury was taking over. The tip of his nose brushed up her lips and he growled, a deep growl, coming from within his chest. It rumbled his rib cage and it felt freeing.
There it was. His scent. Why was his scent on her lips? Did she kiss him on the cheek? Was it not how humans greeted each other? Or how they said goodbye? The guilt. She felt guilty. It was all over her masking her scent and turning it disgusting. There was only one reason why she would feel guilty and the conception of it was enough to cause him to show his fangs.
"Did you like it?"
"W-what?"
Each time he growled, it echoed through her own body. She could hear the way his claws were digging at the wood, slowly chipping it, while it barely held on to support her. He was mad. She never saw him mad.
His face lowered and he buried himself in the crook of her neck. "Did you like it when the boy kissed you?"
"Sesshomaru - it -it wasn't like that." She was trying to explain herself even though she did not have to do so. Maybe it would help to ease the guilt swirling in her chest. "It was an accident."
"He wants you." It was there, in the boy's scent. He desired the miko.
"No, no we're just friends."
Fangs nipped at her skin and she tilted her head backwards in reaction. There it was; the need to get rid of the other male's scent. He experienced that before. Except the last time it happened he was not so close to giving in. Would he come back from it? He dragged his tongue along her shoulder, tasting her skin, along with the saltiness that came from it. She moulded her body against his, pushing her chest to his. He finally tore his hands away from the door and instead used them to grab her waist tightly. Prickling claws poked at her side and she pinched her lips firmly together.
Another man wanted her. Someone could take her away.
That was what should happen. It was what he told her from the beginning. That she would be free of him. He should pull away, he should persuade her to take the other male. But he could not. Instead, everything inside of him was screaming at him, telling him to make sure nobody else could have her.
"Should I let him have you?" he asked, small breathes puffing at her skin, as he lowered himself to her collarbone. It was a terrible phrasing. He did not own her, he could not give her to another. Yet, the words felt right in his mouth. His instincts screamed at him, displeased that he was willing to give her away. Except that giving her away was what he should be doing. It was the rational decision.
Kagome's whole body was frozen as his hands caressed the side of her body, leaving trails of goosebumps behind. She felt his soft touch trail from beneath her breasts, teasing her but never touching the mounds, and then he went all the way down to her hips. Her shirt acted as a barrier between them and yet she could feel the heat of his touch. She held her breathe, never daring to glaze down at him. She saw him this jealous and possessive once and she did not want to provoke it further. Last time, he touched her, cleansing her body of Hojo's scent. He seemed to intend on doing the same thing again.
"Should I?" he repeated, his voice low, every word strained.
She ran her tongue over her lips and managed to shake her head. She did not want Hojo. She already accepted her twisted fate; the one where she developed unnecessary feelings for a man who could not feel. Each step took her deeper into her own personal hell but she was fine with that. Her heart was not volatile, she could not feel for two people at the same time.
Silky strands of hair brushed against her face as he raised his head and body, towering over her. The treads of silver tickled her flesh while he bore his eyes straight into hers. Melted gold sucked her in and her pink lips parted. He tore his eyes away from her, glancing around at her face, as though he was trying to catch her in a lie. "This is difficult."
She swallowed hard. "I-I'm sorry."
Perfect silver eyebrows arched, he leaned in, lips hovering over her flesh.
"For yesterday," she explained, the heat of her body too much to bear. He was right there, nearly touching her but not touching her at all at the same time. She refused to be the one to lean in, to be the one to put them in an uncomfortable situation yet again.
Kagome saw the bewilderment in his eyes, assuredly stumped by her declaration. He put his cheek to hers and for the first time in a while, she let herself breathe, filling her weak lungs with air. "Why?"
"You- you-" He what? She was not even sure. "You didn't like it."
A very foreign sound escaped his throat. He chortled. There was a need hidden there along with pain but she never took noticed. She was mesmerized by this sound she never heard him make before.
She thought he did not enjoy it? Was she kidding? It was the plague of his existence. It broke the tread holding back his self control. Ever since she touched him, licked him, sucked him, he was unable to return to what he was. Memories refused to leave him alone and sensations were burned in his mind for the rest of his life. Waiting was straining, it was killing him. Even now, he could feel her tiny body near his and he wanted to take her legs and wrap them around his waist. The need could hardly be controlled and now that he was this close to her, the scent of her arousal playing with him, teasing him, he wondered why control himself? Why not take her?
They did everything else.
Why not this?
Why not give in? It was no longer about pride. It was the next natural occurrence.
Kagome watched the emotions flash through his face, her confusion only growing. Did he or did he not enjoy it? This was ridiculous. They could not - they had to talk. She slowly raised her hands and put them on his shoulders. Slender fingers wrapped around his strong shoulders and all of his movements stopped. His eyes focused on her and she gasped. There was something there that she did not recognize. It should probably be terrifying and yet, it ignited something inside of her. Instead, she clutched his shoulders tighter and held her breathe. She should be pushing him away so that they could have a proper conversation and somehow she was doing none of that.
He was close, so close that he could smell Hojo. He needed the scent off.
His lips crashed against hers with a need that she rarely saw. His hands dropped to her waist again, pushing her against him. She tilted her head to the left which gave him better access to her mouth. He nipped, he bit. He did not pull away until her lips were swollen with the need he left behind. Her lips were moist and plump by the time he was done and the fire inside her was growing in size. His hands gripped the bottom of her yellow shirt and he rapidly began to lift it over her head. She did not fight him. Instead, she raised her arms and let him take it off. There was always a hesitance, a need to hide her disgusting body but not this time. Sesshomaru was not a liar and he saw her naked countless times.
If he had a problem with it, he would have said so by now.
Despite that, it did not mean her self confidence was any better. She was still ashamed but she saw no reason to hide it.
Fingertips tickled her ribs before large hands cupped her small breasts. Thumbs flickered over her nipples forcing a quiet moan out of her throat. Fangs found their way to her earlobe and he gently sucked on the sensitive skin, making her knees weak. Her own hands rested on his clothed chest, feeling the stiffness of the fabric beneath her touch. Delicate, shaky fingers fumbled with the white, round buttons of his shirt and she undid them one by one. She swallowed hard, his ministrations near her neck never ending. Her chest bubbled with warmth while she finally freed him from the constraint of his clothing. She used her hands to push apart the fabric, revealing a chiseled chest. Her digits trailed over the warm, stretched skin and her eyes were mesmerized for a moment.
He tore away from her sweet skin, the taste of her filling his mouth. He knew where her taste was sweeter but it was not his goal today. What was his goal? He could feel the redness seeping into his eyes, taking over the white. His primal side was awake demanding he took what he should have taken from the start. He was animalistic at his core and though the humanoid form usually helped him think with a clear head, it currently had no impact. The beast, the animal inside, wanted out. It wanted to play, it wanted to know why he refused to complete the bond. It should hurt him, the link tugging at him, crying out as it remained incomplete. And yet, he resisted so far. Could he do it again?
Sesshomaru glanced down at her, watching her chest rise up and down, the blush on her cheeks and the breathlessness of her face.
Her hands felt cold against his skin and he peered at her actions, watching as her hands lowered all the way to his black leather belt. Fingertips rested upon the edge but she never grabbed it, never made an attempt to undress him further.
He let go of her body and slowly removed his shirt, allowing it to drop upon the ground. Then, he gripped at her sides, claws forcing to way into the skin of her rear, and he lifted her up. Again, her back made a harsh contact with the door. At once, her core was pressed into his erection and he hissed at the friction, the need only growing. He rolled his hips a few times, giving into the pressing need nudging at him from deep inside. His thoughts were not so clear, jumbling around, and his judgement was patently impaired. None of that reasoning put a halt to his juvenile actions.
Sesshomaru leaned into her chest, capturing a begging, hard, dusty pink nipple between his teeth and he began sucking. She panted above him, fingers coming to tangle in his long silver locks. A deep pink blush formed on her cheeks, painting her pale skin with some colors. Lips parted again, letting out a deliciously quiet moan. He used his hand to give attention to the other lonely breast, kneading the flesh gently. Each time his tongue swirled around the peak, tasting and demanding, he would brush up against her core. The feel of the fabric of his black pants rubbing against his painfully erected cock was enough to drive him insane. There was no longer a sufficient amount of contact, nothing was enough.
He tore his mouth away from her breast, never missing the quiet whimper that she emitted. A growl begged to be release from deep within him, but he held it back. Wanting more of her, he lowered her back on the ground, allowing her to stand back on her own two legs. Luscious, red demanding lips found their way to her navel, his tongue encircling it, and then he took a nibble before he traveled further down. Her pants were far too wide for her, allowing him to lower them without even much of a tug. He gripped her underwear and lowered them as well. His actions revealed a thiny dispersed patch of black curls and immediately, she buckled as he buried his nose in it.
Her hands lowered from his hair to his bare shoulders where she dug blunt nails into his flesh. His skin was reminiscent of silk and her fingers were only demanding to venture lower and lower - which was an impossible talk considering their current position. It did not mean she did not try to cover more surface with her fingertips. Suddenly, air was forced into her lungs when she gasped. Cold air wrapped around her legs as she realized he completely threw her pants upon the ground, and all that remained on - well half on - was her grey, very unattractive, underwear. The pants bundled at her feet which greatly restricted her movements. Neither of them appeared to mind.
Sesshomaru then rose back up, bending his back forward slightly so that their eyes were at the same level. His lips were awfully closed to hers, allowing her to feel their warmth, the ghost of their touch. She found herself leaning forward, pressing her trembling petals against his firm mouth. Shyly, her tongue poked out and before it even lapped at the seam of his lips, they opened, allowing her entrance. Naked chests collided, her breasts flattening against his muscular pectorals. She panted against his lips while he kissed the corner of her mouth. She closed her eyes, tilting her head backwards, the feelings drowning her into a warmth.
She bore her neck to him and instincts kicked in rapidly. Fangs poked from his mouth and he attacked that sweet neck. Sesshomaru began at the top, right below her jaw and then he trailed down along the edge all to way to his mark. It was faints now, two puncture holes barely left behind. Instincts would demand he bite her again to make it more vivid now that it would be complete. Her body shivered under the ministrations and pride swelled in his chest. Cold palms touched his sides and while she kept her eyes closed, losing herself in his fangs, her hands moved to the dips below his hips. Her fingers fit perfectly into the dips while she applied a small pressure, unable to bear the feelings he was providing her with.
As her touch neared the place he yearned for her touch, the memories took over his mind. Why was is impossible for him to forget that submissive position? When he was touching her, he could forget, he could do his daily activities. When the situation was reversed he appeared to be screwed.
He jerked his hips forward, forcing her hands lowered than his hips. She gasped again and he felt the vibration of her throat against his fangs. This time the growl slipped him and he let his mouth find her collarbone. He nibbled at it, fangs threatening to break the skin. Instead, he simply left red marks behind, like he did on her neck. Kagome dug her fingers into his thighs, her hands accidently almost cupping his erection. He pushed his pelvis against hers, greedy hands moving back to her rear to knead the delicious flesh. He squeezed hard, molding the skin to the shape of his palms while his claws bruised the surface of the skin, leaving a trail of crimson behind. His mouth returned to her breasts, missing the feeling of them filling his mouth.
This was not a Sesshomaru who was teasing her, testing her. This was different and her heart raced thinking about where it was all heading. That step? Now? Her heart ached at the sentiment of everything included in that action. She would be lost further and he would get further away from what he was. They would both lose and yet, she could not tame down the fire inside of her. Her body yearned for him, caved under his touch and even if she wanted to stop it, she learned a long time ago that she was unable to do so. The moment he planted that mark on her neck she was doomed. It might have saved her from death, but it lead her in another dark and twisted path.
One where she suffered mentally rather than physically. Although the cancer did take quite the mental toll on her.
"Wait."
She was kidding, she had to be kidding. She did not say wait. And yet, he had to listen. If for any reason she wanted to stop this - he could not… he would never lower himself as to go against her wishes.
He pulled himself away from her breasts, releasing her nipple from his hold. Inside, she cursed herself but she knew this was necessary. They could not do something he might end up regretting. She would not let it happen. This was costing him enough as it was. He did not need to sacrifice another part of himself in the process.
"We don't have anything."
His eyes searched hers, trying to understand what she meant but he came up blank.
"P-protection," she stuttered. Kami, she felt akin to a high school kid. They nearly had sex but she could not talk about condoms?
"What?" The word came out before he truly contemplated about it.
"I, hm, I have my period again. I just- you wouldn't want a baby." She cleared her throat. "An hanyou."
He frowned, lines bunching around his eyes. Right. It was not that long ago that she still held on to the belief that he hated all humans. He supposed it would come to no surprise that she believed he despised hanyous. He disliked his half-brother. There was a difference. He had no patience for weakness, for greediness and stupidity. His beliefs and hatred shifted over the years. An hanyou as child would not be the worst thing. Obviously he knew he would need an heir eventually. The plan was to wait - despite the fact that he knew she would make a great mother. Everyone brought up the topic of children lately. Except, she never did. Did she fear she might end up carrying his child? No, she clearly stated that he would not want it.
She was right.
Except that plans… fell apart.
His desire to find a full youkai female was - nearly foolish. Not that it truly matter. Kagome was strong, a miko and she held good values. She would be a wonderful mother who would raise her children right. The fact that he waited this long was mostly based on the fact that he never felt the need to mate or the need to rut. Before he laid his mark on her… he wanted neither of those things.
What if he did not want it again once she passed away?
What if he never found anyone to bear his heir?
He needed at least one. Just one.
Sesshomaru detached his body from hers and stared into her eyes. He saw the hesitance and the hint of fear. Her arousal was not as pronounced, probably because of his long lasting silence. Although his cock remained erect, his own mind was distracted. Many thoughts were running through and he wondered if any of it - if any of it was possible…
He remembered her guilt when he followed through with his obligation.Re-ally, thank you. I don-t kn-ow how I'll e-ver re-pay you for this. There is no need. He said there was no need because he was not doing it to obtain something in return. He did it because it was his duty, his promise to his dying half-brother. As an alpha of the pack, he respected it.
But could he? Could he ask for something?
"It would not be bothersome."
His words almost shocked him more than her.
"W-what?"
"It would not be an hindrance to myself."
He was not saying what she believed he was. It was impossible because Sesshomaru did not want an hanyou child and he certainly did not want it with her. He - no, it was an assumed fact. No children would come from this. It was - no it did not make any sense. Fear raced through her veins and sent her blood pumping. Eyes jolted around his face, hoping to see the crack in his facade. It was a joke. But Sesshomaru never joked. Everything he said he meant. Perhaps it was what made it all so scary.
"Y- you want a child?" she said before swallowing the lump in her throat.
"Perhaps." He cleared his throat. "It would be convenient." It would give a purpose to all this. He was to step over his boundaries, do something he would have never done. He was about to become an animal to the instincts she influenced in him. Should he not obtain something from this? And she would as well. He knew she once desired children or she would have never been a mother to the kit. "I require an heir and I do not normally find myself in such situations."
She should tell him how insane it was but she did not. Sesshomaru did not give into carnal desires. Before he mated her, he had none. This was brought forward by the fact that he saved her life. He saved her life, married her and cared for her without receiving anything in return. She got to live, she got to take money worries away from her family… she had a chance to start over. He wanted a life. A life for a life. It almost sounded logical and fair and yet… she could not bring herself to speak. The feeling of her heart pressing in her rib cage was painful. Thinking hurt. Breathing was unthinkable. She already could feel the tears stinging at her eyes.
It was then that he put distance between their bodies.
The mood was gone, that much was clear in spite of the fact that everything else remained confusing.
Children crossed his mind a few times. However, he hardly thought he would be asking for one.
"I shall give you time to think about it." He tugged on his pants, lifting him them up a bit as they lowered when her legs were around him. It made his cock twitch. All this talk and it refused to go down. No wonder if he felt much the same as a reckless child. He could not even control his own body.
Kagome did not nod. She simply stayed there with her back pressed against the door, her mind running a million thoughts a second.
A child… with Sesshomaru?
This was an alternate universe. It had to be.
-R-
"Kagome?"
There was a hint of worry in Dr. Izu's voice as she tried yet again to obtain the young girl's attention. Although there was slight panic tickling at her senses, her face remained calm. It was clear that a situation had greatly upset Kagome, which was the reason why she called for an emergency session, and Izu did not want to interfere and provoke any changes that might inflict a worse result. Kagome remained in a fragile state and nobody wanted to see her go over the edge. She rarely did emergency situation like this but when she heard the panic in Kagome's voice…
Kagome's blue eyes were darting around the room, her jean clothed knees pressed into her soft cotton blue shirt, while her arms were wrapped around her legs. In a normal situation, she would not be putting her dirty white sneakers on top of her psychologist's expensive brown leather armchair but today, her etiquette did not follow her all the way to Dr. Izu's office. Instead, all of her attention was focused on her keeping her calm and remaining collected. She wanted to cry and yell at the same time. Everything was bouncing around in her head.
"Do you want to tell me what happened?"
This idea was completely insane; she should not be here. She could not talk about his or she would end up evoking a crazy person. Regardless, the weight of the emotions, the pressure of the duty was unbearable and despite how hard she tried, Kagome was uncertain of how she could keep this locked inside without exploding. After Sesshomaru left her side she found herself unable to think straight and completely incompetent when it came to slowing down her own heartbeat. How could he propose something like this so casually without even talking? Why did he not need time to process big changes?
Finally, Kagome allowed her gaze to meet Dr. Izu's. She sighed, giving up. She intertwined her fingers, desperately wishing it would keep them steady. "I - He wants children."
Dr. Izu blinked slowly, attempting to understand the source of Kagome's distress. "Wouldn't that be a resolution of conflict? You were rather intent on believing he did not wish for children while you did."
"I was wrong." It was all wrong. Unconsciously, she slipped her bottom lip between her teeth and slowly gnawed away at the flesh, ripping it by strand.
Nothing was said until blood began to emerge out of the pink membrane.
"Do you no longer desire children?"
Children was what the old Kagome wanted. The new Kagome knew she would not bear any. First, it was because of her impending death, then came along her mating with Sesshomaru and now - there were many reasons that stood in the way of motherhood. All of them perfectly valid. Having children, that was - insane.
"I-" But there was nothing she could say.
"How did you get there?" she inquired, putting down her pad and pen. "This was a problem to the relationship and your happiness. Instead of fixing it, the solution became a bigger problem. Why?"
"He's not forcing me. He asked." She could say no, he offered her that possibility. Although, saying no would make her quite the ungrateful bitch would it not?
"No wishing for motherhood is a perfectly acceptable choice." Kagome was avoiding her question, something Izu was used to but she knew it she did not get her to speak a little more, this hurdle would stomp them. "Is there a reason you changed your mind?"
"I didn't - I didn't answer."
How crazy she probably looked... A few sessions ago she was drowning in a loneliness, her heart somewhat shattered by the supposition that she would never have a family. Now, he was asking her to give him something she wanted, and she was running in the other direction. It was fine to imagine it, knowing she would not have it. Back when it was an insane thought, it was not scary.
"Why not?"
"I don't know how to do it."
Izu smiled. "Nobody knows how to be a mother until they become one."
Yes, but those people were not broken inside, there was nothing wrong with them. She was a basket case, sitting in her psychologist's office, near the edge of an outburst because someone asked her to have a child with them. Certainly that did not meet the good mothers requirement. Dr. Izu should be convincing her that she was right, not that she was wrong. She should tell her that motherhood was out of the question. Then again, the woman had no idea how insane this whole situation was. Her marriage was a scam, her life was a lie and she should not be alive.
She could not take care of herself. She needed people always hovering over her, catering to her needs both mentally and physically. What kind of mother would she be? A sick excuse of a mother? When she thought of mother, her mind wandered about her own. She was kind, she was strong and she found the inner peace and strength to raise two children on her own. That required body strength and mental stability. Her mother lost her husband and kept her will to leave. She fought through the horrible gossip, through the hardships and she came out strong. Pain never stopped her mother, neither did loss. Those things seemed to have put a halt to Kagome.
Not that long ago, she barely got out of bed. She had no social life, she had no energy to maintain one. Some days, Sesshomaru and her barely spoke. She was fine with being locked in her own world. She fed herself because food was there. She rarely cooked for herself. When did she get dress? Only when necessary. Alright maybe a little more lately but that was because she was getting out of the house. What kind of mother would be this pathetic? How could she inflict herself on a poor child that did not wish to be born, that did not pick her to be his mother?
"But they still have the potential to be a good mother," Kagome defended. She did not.
"You think you lack the skills to be a good mother?"
Was she not listening? Could she not see in her eyes the words she could not say? After many seances it should be clear that the last person who should be a mother was her. She could not take her of her own mental state. She had to pay someone to make sure she did not let her life end. Clearly a life should not be put into her hands. She had no goal, she had nothing. She barely managed to get a job. She had no education. She could not provide anything. This was wrong, it was all wrong. She was taking steps, trying to build herself back up…
"I - I shouldn't have come here," Kagome finally said. She clutched her fingers around her thighs, pinching the fat less skin.
The panic in her eyes was obvious; she was about to run. "Kagome. If you called, you needed to talk. There is no judgement here. I am simply here to help you understand yourself."
"There is nothing to understand. The answer is clear."
It was not. She should not be a mother, she could not handle her own life, her own survival. However, she owed Sesshomaru. Where did that leave her?
"Kagome..."
"I'm sorry I wasted your time."
Tears were burning her eyes while she threw herself off the seat. She nearly tripped forward but she caught herself at the last second. Loud steps were heard while she ran out of the room, her lungs already burning from the effort. She did not know why she presumed she might find an answer here. How could she find the truth in a room full of lies? This was not the way, this was not how she would bring peace to her trouble mind.
She had nothing, she had no one.
-R-
He worked overtime.
He did not donethat in a while, despite the fact that he should have considering he had an extra person to support - not that Kagome cost him a lot of money. Yet, with everything, he found himself drafting away from overtime and late night at works where everyone was so insufferable. Tonight, it was highly welcomed. The stress coming from Kagome was infuriating and the strain on his body was chipping away at his strength. He disliked feeling so unsettled and yet he could not avoid it. Work was annoying but later in the evening, when almost everyone was gone, it was fairly quiet and he could easily tolerate it. More than he could tolerate being in his suffocating apartment.
When he reached the apartment, he could not see any light coming from under the door. Could it be that she already excused herself for the night? He flipped his wrist before pushing the black sleeve of his jacket out of the way. He glanced down at his silver watch. It was merely seven o'clock. There was no way she was sleeping. He flipped his keys in his hand, causing them to jingle, and he unlocked the door. Once he was inside, all he found was darkness. There was not a single light turned on. He quietly closed the door behind him, not wanting to wake her.
Although, her silence was slowly driving him insane. The request was simple. Either she said yes or she said no. He said those words meaning he could not take them back. He did not retract himself and he certainly would never say that anything that came out of his mouth was foolish. The plan did make sense. Should she not want to be a mother? Did he not offer her a solution as well? She insisted on remaining by his side despite the fact that he give her a way out. This seemed to be the only way she would obtain what she sought.
A sigh was let out and then he was about to head to his own room for the night when he suddenly detected the faint scent of her presence. Except that it was not coming from her bedroom like he expected. Instead, she was located somewhere in the kitchen. He turned his head to the left, his ponytail swinging along with his head. He looked at the refrigerator and around it but he did not see her. He walked towards the grey marble counter and leaned against it. An eyebrow arched, an idea forming in his head and he tilted his body over the middle of the counter.
There she was.
All he could see was the dark crown of her hair as she sat down on the floor. Her back was against the cherry wooden part of the counter, her legs stretched out in front of her, revealing her baggy dark jeans. However, what truly attracted his attention was the bottle nestled in her left hand. The dark red color of the sake barely reached half way of the dark glass bottle. Alcohol. He never saw her drink before. He did not think it was an activity that appealed to her and yet, there she was drinking in the complete darkness.
And all this time, she never noticed his presence.
He pulled himself away from the counter and silently walked around it until he was standing beside her. "Kagome," he greeted.
She raised her head, almost distorting her neck, and looked up at him. "Oh. Sesshomaru." Pink flashed on her cheeks and he watched intrigued while she scrambled to her feet. She gripped the counter with her free hand, holding the bottle in the other. "How was your day?"
He saw her glance at the clock, and then, it dawned upon her that it was quite late but she did not comment on it. Instead, her gaze moved back to his face.
"Fine." It was not his business to comment on her drinking choices.
Her fingers were wrapped tightly around the head of the bottle and she was dying to hide it behind her back but she was aware of how pointless it was. He already saw it and if she tried to conceal it, she would simply appear foolish. He could add drunk to the list of terrible flaws she had. She was embarrassed; she did not mean to drink. She got home, remembered that it was a while since her last meal. She meant to find a little something to snack on, like crackers, but instead she found this. At first, it was supposed to be one small glass. Something to calm her nerves, to allow her to have this conversation with him.
It all turned wrong.
Before she knew it, it was another and another.
At least she stopped before reaching a state of drunkenness. Her body was bubbly with warmth and there was a veil over her thoughts, but she knew what she was doing and she was in perfect control of herself. Plus, she was sober enough to be ashamed. Tipsy was perhaps a better word. Yes, tipsy. Warmed up. She almost felt knowledgeable on the topic despite the fact that she never drank a sip of alcohol before today.
"I'll replace it."
He arched an eyebrow at her.
"The bottle. I shoulda asked."
He shook his head faintly.
"You live here as well. You are welcome to all the items you might find."
Honestly, he forgot that was his. He thought she purchased it today. He could not even remember for the life of him why he bought such thing. Perhaps it was during the beginning of his new pathetic life.
"I still want to replace."
"As you wish."
He was acting completely normal, as though he had not made that impossible request of her. Did he forget? Did he not mean it? It swirled a fury inside of her. She should not be angry at him but now she was. This was nothing for him, he could simply brush it up. It turned her world upside down, it tore her from the inside and destroyed all that she slowly built up. For him it was a request, a few innocent words. And it should be. She was the one over reacting, but she could not bottle up the feelings; they were spilling out of her. All the things she ever wanted were taken from her. Her friends. Inuyasha. Her life there. Her chance at being normal. She even almost lost her life. She gave up everything and everything was taken from her. She always wanted a family and then accepted that she would not have one. And now that she could not be a good mother, life was teasing her with the idea of becoming one.
What did she do to deserve this cruelty? She was a good person was she not? At least… she tried to be.
"Why?"
"What are you referring to?" he inquired while leaning against the sink.
"Why did you ask me that?"
Her response remained vague but he knew what she meant. There was a look in her eyes he did not recognize. Actually, that was a lie. He saw it before...in another life time. For a moment, she looked like the girl he met in his father's grave.
"The thought that you might desire to be a mother has crossed my mind."
"Do you want to be a father?"
"I do require an heir."
"Why me?"
"It is convenient considering our situation. Also, I do believe you would be a competent mother."
Kagome felt something snapped inside of her. Why did everyone think that? Could they not see her? Did they not see all that she saw each time she stared in the mirror?
"I CAN'T BE A MOTHER."
Kagome was conflicted as to who was more shocked by her outburst; him or her? When was the last time she raised her voice? And why did she have to do it to Sesshomaru out of all people.
He blinked slowly but remained collected. "And why not?" Part of him did not want to condone the fire spilling out of her. It was new, it was thrilling.
"I -" Why did she need to justify the obvious? "Look at me! I'm useless. I can't take care of myself!" As she swung her arms around, the bottle followed, nearly spilling out from time to time. "I have nothing. I am nothing." They were all missing the truth about her. Her cheeks were red from the rage seeping from her body. "Why do you all think I am who I used to be?" She missed that person more than them but there was no going back.
Her phrasing was a bit confusing but he did not comment on it. He doubted her mother made the same comments.
"I wanted them. I wanted children, I wanted a family." Tears slid down her cheeks but her voice had yet to crack. "I can't have them. I don't know how to take care of them. I don't know how to take care of me."
He took a step forward, shortening the distance between them. "Wallowing in self pity does not suit you." He was fine with the raised voice and the stomps of rage. This however was highly annoying.
"I? What?" Everyone had it wrong. They could not make the distinction. "What self respecting mother has to see a shrink simply to keep on living?"
This time, she managed to stun him into silence. Shrink? She was referring to herself? He contemplated back to moments, memories. She wanted the number - for the health insurance. Was this why? His gaze became colder and he focused his amber orbs on her. He was aware of her despair but it never crossed his mind that it ran so deep.
It took her a moment to catch on. She told him. Why did she tell him? Panic settled in her chest and panic flashed through her eyes.
To keep on living, she said. He felt a part of him snap and before he knew it, he used his speed to grab her and push her against the counter. She bent backwards, the air knocked out of her bottle she used to hold so tightly slipped from her grip and shattered upon the ground. Shards of green flew around while a red liquid spilled from the ground, staining everything in its vicinity. He put his hands on the counter and on each side of her and leaned over her body. "I have respected my obligation. I have saved your life - with a cost." He never hid the fact that all the emotions were displeasing to him. Though she still winced at his words.
"You will not forfeit your life."
"I have not," she defended despite the fear running through her. It came out wrong. "It was hard, I - I needed help." She tried to sound assure but her voice wavered. She did not know how to solve the mess that was her life and she needed someone to show her where to begin.
"You are not this." He might not have been - her friend back then, but he knew she would have never considered giving up. She stood up to him for crying out loud.
"I'm not a fighter. I - I have nothing to fight for." Izu's words echoed in her mind.
"Then find something else. Pity is not a suitable goal."
"I'm not looking for pity." Despite whatever stage she might have found herself in, she never asked for pity, she never wanted it. She did try to stand on her own. She reached out a few times but only because the feelings were overwhelming her, drowning her and she feared for herself. Throughout the whole ordeal she put on a strong face. How dare he?
"You don't know me."
"I know what you have shown."
Her chest rose high with anger, her face crisping. "Maybe you weren't looking. Maybe you didn't care."
"Should I?" He crept his face closer to hers. "Should I care?"
"You should care about not saying lies."
Sesshomaru used to build her up with his words. It was not because he cared, it was because he always spoke his mind truthfully. She used him as a pillar to bring herself back up. Now, he was tearing her apart. Every time a situation upset her, she found herself turning to sadness. Except tonight. Rage was seeping in her blood, traveling through her body. When was the last time she was angry? When she found out the injustice of her fate? Most likely. She used to flip about the littlest thing and be very vocal about the things she disliked. Then, death lurked around and she lost that will.
Not anymore.
"I have no time for foolish lies."
"Don't say I fight for pity."
"Then what do you fight for, miko?"
"Nothing," she ended up whispering. That was the problem, she found nothing to fight for - and she tried. She did not want this, she did not want to be this.
He appeared to be pondering her words for a second and then he grasped her hips, squeezing them. "You have nothing, you want nothing." His hands wasted no time in sliding down to her rear, grabbing it before lifting her off the ground. As a reflex, her legs hooked around him, keeping her stable. Long clawed fingers slipped under her shirt, tickling her skin. "You do not want this," he said, his voice lower.
Her rage was becoming his rage and he did not know where his began and hers ended.
He forcefully kneaded the mounds through her bra. "This does nothing. There is no want." His control was slipping from him, her words provoking unwanted reactions.
His erection was digging into her core and this time, he did not hold himself back. He was dry humping her, causing the scent of her arousal to grow stronger. Pity was very displeasing and he knew she was more than that. Except he failed to understand why she reduced herself to that. She had a life. Why did she need a shrink to talk to her, why could she not pull through? There was nothing wrong with her. She was a fighter, someone who battled through the end. Battles had low points and high points - especially low points. When did she forget that?
His hands sneaked beneath her bra, grazing her breasts, before he moved forward and nibbled on her ear. "You feel nothing?" Lust was clouding his mind, the need making it hard to keep his body straight. His fangs pierced the lobe and though she yelped he smelled the surge of arousal coming from her.
Hands caressed her breasts with attention, leaving hard nipples behind. She was panting while he licked the blood leaking from the small puncture wounds. "You want nothing?" he inquired, his voice husky as he pulled his lips away from her ear.
"You don't want this," she said between puff breathes while completely ignoring the questions he was asking her.
He already knew her body was craving , he did not know what he was doing to her heart. She was not certain if it was pain or thrill but her heart was ready to burst from her chest. She could not catch her breathe, her eyes were burning from her tears and the need of wrath still pulsed through her body. She forgot how to feel so many emotions at the same time. She wanted to push him away and bring him closer and she did not know which one to choose. Which one would do the most damage?
"It is not a situation I would have put myself into. However, I do not pity myself. I take."
Was it not why he made the proposition? He was in this situation and it was not what he wanted originally but it was not the worst and he could obtain certain things from it.
"I am aware of what I want, what I fight for." If he did not, he would have lost his mind in this human world where he was reduced to be nothing more than a pawn. He was bidding his time, he was waiting. He never lost his pride and sense of honor.
"You want nothing. You fight for nothing," he said against her flesh, peppering a trail of kisses on her marked flesh.
He was mocking her, it was unnerving. "I wa-want things."
"Oh?" he inquired, acutely sarcastic. "What do you want?"
There was something about him she did not recognize. There was something about herself that she did not recognize either. His hands were back on her, claws prickling at her behind and thumbs digging beneath her hips. Her legs hooked around him was the reason she was not on the ground. It was taking most of her strength, forcing her to work a sweat. His eyes were locked on hers, demanding an answer.
She was lost.
Her mind knew what it wanted. Her body never had a doubt. Her heart knew where it was heading. One leap. It would not fix anything, it would not give her a purpose, it would not give her something to fight for.
"Are you a shell?" he asked when she remained silent. "Can you truly feel nothing? Nothing inspires you, nothing angers you?" Why did it make him so mad that she had nothing to fight for? It did not concern him? Were these his own emotions?
"A lot of things anger me."
"What angers you?"
"You."
He wanted her to say things she did not want to say. He wanted her to look at things she did not want to face. He was pushing her outside of her comfort zone.
"Then fight it."
And she did.
Before her brain even processed her actions she had grabbed his shirt, crashing their lips together. Tongues wasted no time in circling together. The taste of her blood remained in his mouth, though she could not detect it. To him, it felt spicier than usual. Her arms looped around his neck, holding on to him while he moved his hands under her thighs, holding her and allowing her a bit of a rest. He pushed them further on the counter, dropping her rear upon the hard counter. His hands moved to her jeans, snapping the button open. Her heart raced but she never once pulled her lips away from his. The strain left behind after being teased for days was vividly present and he found himself running out of patience.
This was it.
The moment he ran from since the beginning, it was here.
And it could not be more wrong.
He grabbed the hem of her jeans and slowly began to tug on them. He tore himself away from her and stared into her eyes while he kept tugging. After a moment, she lifted herself up and untangled her legs from him. It allowed him to drop them to the ground. Stress over took her body and suddenly she found herself unable to look at him. She hid her face in the crook of his neck. This answered none of the questions but the need was ringing through her. She did not think she could handle any more teasing. She might not feel better afterwards but she could not feel any worse could she? Rage and lust mixed inside her blood and it was driving her and her needs.
She knew why he looked into her eyes. He was waiting for her to confirm he could proceed.
They were fighting. He said awful things to her and she wanted to push his chest, she wanted to yell, yell all the things she kept locked inside.
Her fingers fumbled to his pants and she undid his belt before moving on to his zipper. She said he angered her. He asked her to do something about it and she kissed him. She could not have any of the things she wanted. She could not even have his heart. But she could have this. It was always going to happen and now it would happen because she initiated it.
As soon as the zipper was down, his pants fell to the floor, leaving him in silky black boxers. His shirt was still on and so was hers but it did not appear to matter. She untucked herself from underneath his chin and glanced into his eyes. Yes he angered her. He teased her with things she could never have. He believed she could be things she could never be. Why did he see these things? Why did he make her heart pump with need and sadness at the same time? She was always sad, never angry. She was always quiet, never loud. It made her wrath run deeper. She wanted to be angry. She wanted to be loud. She could not be a mother. And yet, could she say no? Probably not. Then, it should only be fair that he could no longer be himself.
He had to take that step over the edge.
She grabbed her own underwear and slipped it off.
The scent of her arousal hit him full force and he bury his mouth in the crook of her neck. Warm lips hovered over her mating mark and he nibbled.
Kagome's chest was heaving, her head swirling. She could only manage to take small breathes. Earlier, she thought she might have upset him, push it too far. It almost appeared ridiculous now. Her thoughts were interrupted by her own gasp. Suddenly, there was a warmth, hard length pressed against her core and she could do nothing but hold her breathe. A steady arm wrapped around her, keeping her still. The blush on her cheek was worsened and she slightly spread her legs. She saw his focus look as he positioned himself between her leg, the tip of his cock pressing at her entrance. He could already feel her wetness spreading across his tip. Their eyes met for a brief moment but they quickly broke all eye contact.
He knew first times could be painful. He simply was not aware what the best course of action was; all at once or slowly?
Sesshomaru went with all at once.
A silent cry passed her lips as she threw herself against his chest. A tingle of pain traveled all the way to her heart and for a moment she forgot how to breathe. Everything was pain while she felt herself being stretched in ways she never experienced before. Sharp intakes of air were taken while her body shook. He remained perfectly still while she dug her fingers into his back, through his shirt. Meanwhile, Sesshomaru was resisting the urge to groan. It was tight, squeezing him, almost as if she was trying to push him out. And warm - she was warm and slick. His cock was pulsing, and he was dying to thrust in and out but kept himself steady. She was crisp and steady beneath him and he did not take that as a good sign.
The lust that previously shielded around them was dissipating.
He might have made the wrong choice.
Kagome finally swallowed and then took a deep breathe. Slowly, the pain was fading away. Instead of hurting her, the stretching was starting to feel rather good. Unconsciously, she began to roll her hips slightly. The moment she did so, Sesshomaru groaned - loudly. His large hands moved to hold her steady and he began thrusting against her. At first, he was slow, building up the tension. Then came her moans. There were quiet sounds, not like the ones she uttered before. It jolted him right through his cock. He never wanted this, he never needed this but - it was a feeling he could not describe. His mind was drawing a blank while he picked up his speed, her ass smacking against the counter, though neither seemed to notice.
Kagome wrapped her fingers around his biceps, trying to control the sounds coming out of her mouth. It was too much, the sensation tingling at her whole body and all she could do was curl her toes while he pounded inside of her. It was overwhelming, her whole skin scorching as though someone lite it on fire. Her mouth was dry as she panted heavily, holding on to Sesshomaru was best she could. She was unaware of how she could still keep her legs tightly wrapped around him. Sometimes, he slipped so far inside of her she felt something melt. A pressure, a need, was building inside of her.
"Se- Sess-"
Her juices were dripping on the counter, covering his cock. Every time he slid out he could see it, feel it. She would never let him get too far, her core sucking him right back in. Everything was pulsing, everything was sending over the edge. He felt his mind ready to black out. His thrusts began harsher, faster and her yelps of pleasure only increased.
And then, before either knew it was happening…he could not hold himself back any longer.
His eyes rolled back and he felt himself spill his seed inside of her. Unconsciously, he bent down, sinking his fangs into her skin. The feeling of the searing hot liquid inside of her forced a loud moan out of her throat, allowing her to completely ignore the burning sensation coming from her neck and suddenly his head collapsed on top of her shoulder. Was- was that sweat on his forehead?
Sesshomaru panted, his cock still jerking inside of her. He - he came.
It was done.
He took the step he fought so hard not to take.
And he marked her - again.
-R-
- 20
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- 22
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