Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Dissident Hope	By : inufan625 Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > InuYasha/Kagome Views: 7760 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha and will make no money from this work of fiction. This will apply to all chapters contained within.

Chapter List
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“How is this fucking possible!” InuYasha demanded with a snarl. “She didn’t just disappear off the face of the earth, damn it. How can there be nothing, no one who knows where she is?”
“Inu-onii-chan,” Shiori said quietly.
He stopped pacing and looked at her and then back at the kitsune who was very close to being hiding behind her. “Shit, sorry. I know it isn’t your fault, but damn it I’m going crazy. What if she’s hurt or they aren’t feeding her enough?”
Shiori went over to him and hugged him tightly around the middle. “She’s alive. I promise and so is the baby and Shippou is going to keep looking, aren’t you?”
“Of course,” Shippou offered. “It hasn’t been that long, but I’ve got the word out, and as soon as I hear anything I’ll let you know. Inu-oji… I’m sorry.”
“Keh, it feels like it’s been forever,” InuYasha said with a sigh. “I’d better go. I’m supposed to meet the monk to do some work.”
Shiori released him and stepped back. She was worried about him. In the few weeks since the great miko had been abducted it was clear that he hadn’t been taking very good care of himself. He looked a little hollow and the strain of not seeing her of not knowing she was safe was easily seen in his eyes and felt in his youki.
“Your first born will have your ears,” she offered him, trying to give him some new hope to hang onto. “Think how happy she’s going to be about that.”
InuYasha swallowed hard. “You saw that?”
She nodded and offered him a soft smile. “Two adorable furry little ears for her to pet and love.”
He actually managed a weak grin. “She does love the ears. Wait did you say first born?”
“Yup,” she replied. “You and Kagome-miko-sama have the potential to be very… prolific. I’ve seen that too. That future, the best one still exists. I know it’s hard right now, but try to remember that.”
He just nodded, imaging him and Kagome and a whole houseful of pups, living in a world where no one cared that they were part youkai and part miko and they didn’t have to be afraid that something would happen to tear their mixed family apart. He would find her and he would make that future happen, no matter what it took.
“Thanks, imouto,” he said.
~ * ~

“How are you feeling today, Miko-sama?” he asked his voice sending a chill down her spine.
She straightened her back. “Spare me the pleasantries. I have no desire to make friends with my kidnapper, so if that’s all you came to ask then just leave.”
He clicked his tongue. “Tisk, tisk, miko-sama, where are your manners? I merely wished to see that you have everything you require. The mother of my child should be well taken care of.”
“My baby, is not your child,” she spat. “Even if you manage to take this baby it will never be yours and InuYasha will hunt you to the ends of the earth if he has to. If you were smart you would just let me go now before it’s too late.”
“Such confidence in your hanyou lover,” he said. “It would almost be admirable if it wasn’t so pathetic.”
“I’m done with this conversation,” Kagome said.
“Very well,” he replied. “Then I make my final offer. Is there anything that might make you time here more pleasant that I can provide.”
Kagome wanted to tell him to go to hell but would the satisfaction really outweigh the benefits of having any number of small items that might help the time pass more quickly. “Fine, could I have some paper and something to write with.”
“I think not,” he replied. “There is power in sutra even without the touch of reiki and there is a chance that perhaps with enough effort you could empower them further.”
She sighed. “Well what about something to read or a radio.”
“Hmm, paper again, but shikigami take far more power to create,” he said. “Very well, I will arrange for you to be supplied with something to read and a radio. Provided you ask me nicely.”
Kagome’s jaw clenched and she let out a little growl. How dare he? It was only through great self discipline that she held her tongue. He gritted her teeth and forced herself to say what he wanted to hear. “I would like a radio and something to read, please.”
He laughed. “Now was that so hard, miko-sama?”
He leaned down and tried to brush a hand across her cheek. She flinched back and he chuckled, but he didn’t try to touch her again. She resumed her mediation and head the door close and lock behind her. She tried to focus on her breathing and her heartbeat, but all she could think about was how much she missed InuYasha.
She’d never felt so helpless, so alone in her life. She didn’t doubt for a minute that InuYasha was doing everything in his power to find her, but her heart still ached and she still felt empty inside. She never realized how much for granted she took the warmth and light of her power before now. It had always been apart of her, something inside that she turn to, could touch when she needed comfort or strength.
Her hands began to tremble and there was nothing she could do to stop them. She closed her eyes and willed herself to calm but it was no use. Her eyes began to burn with tears and just as she was about to let go, she felt it, barely more than a flutter, but unmistakable. She opened her eyes with a gasp and put a hand against her belly. It happened again and it was too soon to feel from the outside but it was her baby moving inside her.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly as she wiped away a tear with her other hand. “I’m not giving up. Your father is going to find us and take us home and until then I’m going to be strong for both of us. Thank you for reminding me just how much I have to protect.”
~ * ~

“This is taking too damn long,” InuYasha said.
Miroku sighed and finished looking up the last few characters he needed to translate. He didn’t blame the hanyou for his impatience. The truth was that he had expected or at least hoped that they would have found some clue if not in the scrolls then from the multitude of people that were actively looking for information about her whereabouts or who might have taken her. Instead it was as if she had disappeared.
Even those with the gift to seek out specific reiki could not find a trace of her power, which of course had Kikyou insisting that it meant she had to be dead. He hadn’t yet let on how tenuous his hold on the situation was. He had considered revealing to InuYasha the precarious situation they were in, but it was more than clear that he was barely holding himself together as it was and didn’t need anything else to worry about.
Fortunately most people were not yet ready to give up hope. Agreeing Kagome was dead meant that the line of power she represented had died with her. There was also the fact that they could ill afford an internal civil war to select their new leader. He would be in contention of course for his power and because he was so close to Kagome but on the other side of that was Kikyou, and if she were to become Great Miko then open war would resume without a doubt.
Then he would have to put his full effort into becoming the first ever Great Monk, which was also a challenge. They had always been led by a miko and many would hesitate to go against that tradition. It would be a long vicious uphill battle and they could ill afford that, especially when he genuinely believed Kagome was still alive and waiting for them to come for her. No, it would be better if that could be avoided.
“It’s done,” Miroku said, offering the translation to InuYasha. “Unfortunately I don’t think it’s what we are looking for.”
I found a man today, badly burned and near dead. He was delirious from pain and perhaps it would have been more merciful to have let him die, but I could not. I brought him to a nearby cave to shelter him from the elements.
I get a sense that this is not a good man. It is more than how I found him, there is a darkness about him and yet it is my duty to ease his suffering if I am able. I do not hold out hope that he can be saved and even if he does live it will be no kind of life.
InuYasha would not approve. He would not understand my choice to aid such a wretched being and would find the greater mercy in a swift death. Because of this, I cannot bring myself to tell him and it makes the weight of my duty even more profound. I am beginning to fear that I have not the strength to carry it.
I long to live a normal life, as a wife, perhaps even as a mother, to live with my InuYasha surrounded by sons and daughters and I wonder if I have any right to wish for such things. Am I borrowing trouble in this attempt to escape my fate?
“Keh, from the sound of it, he would have been right,” InuYasha said tossing the paper down onto the table.
“Is that how you really feel?” Miroku asked casually.
“It was the Sengoku Jidai,” InuYasha said. “What the hell was she going to do for him? There’s nothing to suggest that she had anything like Kagome’s ability to heal. Can you imagine a worse way to die? Burned, in agony and when infection set in… no thanks.”
“I guess I can see your point of view and healing is indeed a rare gift, at least beyond the mending of small wounds,” Miroku admitted. “Even then burns are among the most difficult.”
“Let’s get going on another one,” InuYasha said.
Miroku nodded but before he could get out another scroll his phone rang. He answered it and closed his eyes as Botan rapidly informed him of the latest crisis that had to have his attention immediately. InuYasha wasn’t going to be happy about that either. They had barely made a dent in the remaining scrolls and with Shiori’s word that they were the means to finding Kagome the delay would be more than frustrating. He ended the call.
“I have to go,” he said.
“What!? We just fucking started,” InuYasha snapped.
“I have no choice,” Miroku replied. “Kagome had me to keep things in order while she worked with you but I do not have that luxury.”
“Bullshit! Maybe you just don’t want to find her,” InuYasha snarled his youki rising and pressing outwards. “With her gone that puts you in charge doesn’t it, Monk?”
Miroku pushed back with his reiki so that he could breathe again. “You think I enjoy this? I have no desire to be in her position. In fact the reason I have to do this is for Kagome. There are those who would love nothing more than to push me aside and take her place, but I am not one of them. If I am not there to quiet those who would have her declared lost no one will and we may very well find ourselves back at open war, with no one looking for her. Is that what you want?”
InuYasha pushed back his youkai. It was getting harder and harder to keep him locked down. “Of course not, it’s just, I just..”
InuYasha turned away and clenched his fists in his hands. Give him a youkai, a hundred and thousand he would go out and cut down every single one to get to her, but this, this never ending waiting, he couldn’t stand it. He felt like he was coming apart at the seams.
“Damn it, monk, I need her,” InuYasha said his voice low and rough. “I need her back. I know you can feel it. The youkai it’s all I can do to hold him back.”
It was impossible not to feel anything at his words, the longing in his tone and the way his youki seemed to collapse around him. His initial reaction aside, Miroku could not deny that InuYasha loved Kagome and was clearly lost without her. They were all a little lost without her. He realized then that if they didn’t find her, if somehow she was lost that he would mourn, but he would go on, his life would go on, InuYasha’s though, would not.
This would not be the first time that fate had presented him with a situation that he did not possess the wisdom to understand, nor would it be the last he was sure. Despite all obvious signs to the contrary and despite the fact that it seemed so impossible to him that such a relationship should work he could no longer deny that Kagome and InuYasha belonged together.
“What would Kagome say if she could see you now?” Miroku asked. “Would she look at you and see the man she loves? Do you think wherever she is that she isn’t holding onto the certainly that you’ll find her? I can feel how close to the edge you are and the only advice I can give you is to focus not on the fact that she isn’t here, but on the day that she will be. Believe you will get her back with just as much surety as you believe that she is the one woman in this world made just for you.”
InuYasha knew the monk was right. He didn’t look much like the man Kagome loved right now and he wasn’t acting much like him either. He also knew that she was counting on him to find her. He’d never really put too much stock in faith before meeting her, mostly because all it seemed to want to do was kick him in the balls when he was down, but he knew down into his very marrow that they belonged together. Shiori had promised him that she could be found and returned safely into his arms and that was what he needed to be focusing on, not on her absence.
“I have to wonder why you are bothering to try and help me keep my shit together,” InuYasha said quietly as he turned around.
Miroku shrugged. “I guess because it’s what she would want, and because you are probably the only person besides me who won’t ever say it’s time to give up on her and stop looking. Like it or not, I need you and you need me so until we find her we have to stick together.”
“Keh, go then. I’m good,” InuYasha told her. “But don’t think this makes us friends, bouzo.”
Miroku laughed. “I would never be so presumptuous. I will try to return as soon as possible to continue working.”
~ * ~

“What is that look, miko-sama,” her captor asked.
Kagome scowled. “It me wondering what I could have done to deserve two visits from you in one day. Did I drown sacks of kittens in my past life or something.” She hated it that she had amused him as he started to laugh. “You’re pathetic. If you were a real man you would face me like one and let me have access to my powers.”
“Now, now, tread lightly,” he warned. “I can make your stay here far less pleasant for you. Just keep that in mind before you open that pretty mouth of yours again.”
He tossed the bag in his hand onto the futon beside her and then set the radio on the small table that had been brought in for her to eat at. She looked in the bag to find it filled with what looked like rejects from the bargain bin, but at least it seemed to have a variety of genres if the titles and covers were any indication.
“What do you say, miko-sama?” he prompted. “Have I not been more than generous?”
She took a deep breath and gritted her teeth before forcing the right words out of her mouth. “Thank you.”
He smiled at her and it sent a chill up her spine. No matter what she could not let this man or whatever he was get his hands on her child. She might not be able to feel him with her powers but she had seen eyes with the look of his before and he was evil, pure evil. Thankfully he seemed satisfied and left without another word.
She got up and went over to the small fridge and got out a bottle of water and a yogurt and went to the table. She wished that they would give her some prenatal vitamins. She should have asked for them when he was offering but it was too late now. She would have to remember for next time. She turned on the radio and though it took some work she eventually found a station she could stand to listen to.
The song ended and a news break began.
Kagome listened intently. Most of it was the usual. There was a traffic and weather report, which celebrity’s were making up and which were breaking up, and the usual political nonsense from around the world, but no reports of any outbreaks of fighting between youkai and her people. She took no small comfort from that. The truce was holding so far. Then finally there was a special bulletin asking for anyone with any information about the whereabouts of the Great Miko to call a hotline number, and notice of a quite a sizable reward for any tips that led to her location. Her heart felt lighter than it had it a long time. They were still looking for her.
Of course she knew InuYasha would never give up, but that there was still a wide scale organized search was something else, something she could take hope in.
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Dissident Hope