Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Red Lotus	By : Maddiesan Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Kagome > Sessh?maru/Kagome Views: 20072 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 7
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 22
- 23
- 24
A/N: I did it! An update before 2015. So I am a little one the line, but we are still 2014! It counts! :)
I hope you all have an awesome time and a great 2015! Thank you for putting up with me!
Red Lotus
Chapter 23: The Procreation
Sweat slid down her back, coating the sheets as she sprawled across them, her legs tangled with the blankets. Her messy short hair glimmered with water, leaving her split ends spiky and unruly. Her lips were parted, little air coming out as though something was crushing her lungs. Her body tingled from the aftermath of their actions and the warmth between her legs refused to disappear and throbbed instead. Her body was marked by his hands, his touch, as they left an invisible trail everywhere they went. She could hear him breathe by her side, never a word spoken. His long silver hair was touching the side of her arm, tickling it and she closed her eyes, allowing herself to bask into the aftermath of their sex.
It was a routine.
Ever since she took she never stopped taking.
And he did the same.
It was mostly at night. During the day he had his job and she was taking up her classes along with her volunteering. At night however, they always found themselves in that bed together. Apparently sharing a bedroom was the worst thing and the best thing all at the same time. She tried to stay on her side, leaving a space between them but neither resisted for very long. She was not quite sure who initiated it every time but it always happened. Her lips on his, his body covering hers. And then, the sweet taste of him filling her. His body was all he had to give and she drank until there was no more. There was a tenderness in his touch that she did not think he had. His fingers would trail down her spine, touching her, memorizing her body - like he cared - like he wanted her.
She was needed. It only lasted a moment, but it was enough.
He did not see the ugliness of her body, the scars left behind. And she did not have to be a fighter and there was no pity.
There was just sex.
Sometimes her heart got in the way, it soar through, filling up and soaking in the feelings swirling in her mind. Sometimes, it hurt. Most of the time, it went away and she felt good. How could she not? There was a euphoria around her every time they were done. No pain, no ache.
At least - for now.
Because if she thought about the deal, if she thought about the fact that in one day they would being procreating - then it was a whole other story.
Sesshomaru was true to his word; he never got tired of her. He never chased her out of his bedroom, he never sighed, he never express discontent. He was right; he could tolerate her presence and he could even handle touching her body every night. He won and she would bear him a child just like she promised. The thought alone stopped her heart. But she did not intend on going back on her word. She made a promise and she would keep it. He even made an effort; he used a condom. For the past five days, every time he took her, he was protected. And she had to admit - it was not the same. Of course she never told him that but after feeling him bare inside of her - the latex was just not enough.
Who would have thought that she would ever think such things?
"May I close the light?"
His deep voice shook her out of her thoughts and she quickly nodded. "Yes." There were never many conversations during the aftermath. She supposed it was best that way. What would they say to each other?
And then, he shut off the light and they found themselves in darkness. There was no cuddling, no bodies touching. He remained on his side and she stayed on hers. She closed her eyes knowing that sleep would claim her soon. Her body was not used to all that activities and since it was so frequent, it was quite exhausting. Not that she was complaining. It felt great to stretch out and use her muscles for once - though they were not great. She let a quiet sigh roll off her lips and snuggled her pillow closer. Sex. That was all it was. She had his body and nothing else.
Did Sesshomaru even have a heart?
She forced her eyes shut, chasing aside any thoughts of crying. No tears. She knew what this was.
Meanwhile, a very powerful nose could not be fooled. The salty scent of tears traveled to his nostrils but he said nothing. It was the second time it happened. He wondered if it was out of pain but he figured he would have noticed. Emotions were a mystery to him and she was - he could not understand her. He sunk deeper into the mattress, feeling the heat leave his body. He remained completely naked, the sheet only covering his feet. She clearly had no problem with his naked body and he felt no shame. Why should he cover himself? This was his bed and the entire point of this was to prove he could tolerate her presence by his side. If he could, then he should be himself without restriction.
Though he already won.
One day, and the win would be his.
Was that the reason for her tears?
He never forced her to accept; it was a decision she made on her own. Granted he brought forth the subject but that was only because he thought she would make a good mother. He would not twist her arm and he would not impose it on her without her consent. She seemed fine when she took the deal. The tears were probably for another reason.
He pressed his face into the pillow, allowing the quietness of the night to wrap around him. His heartbeat remained a bit above normal which was usual after their nightly activities. He never intended on taking her body so much but it happened. It was the little thing, a touch, a brush of the fingers, an unusual movement; anything would set it off. He set off this moment as much as possible, resisting every urge, but now that he had given in there was no pride in holding off. It was done. Doing it again did not damage his ego, it did not make him weak. Plus it was the only way to win. The only way to obtain a gain out of this mess. Also, she was his to take. He marked her - twice. There was no reason why he could not have another bite. Also, he noticed that the recurring activities helped with the bond. Granted he could feel her emotions more than ever but she was less emotional after the coitus. It helped him deal with the new feelings - her feelings - swirling inside of him.
The sensations their actions brought were more than tolerable. It was new and sometimes his control slipped; the effect was too high, too intense and he was not quite sure how to handle it. He got better with time but he was not quite perfect yet. Also, he had not managed to master her body but he did find a few hidden spots he did not think he would find. It was a skill, knowing where to touch her body, and he excelled in everything. He was perfection. He did not fail - not even now while he masked himself amongst humans. He would not fail at this task either.
Sometimes a fear crossed him; was he losing himself? She began somewhere, he ended somewhere else. Where was that line?
As long as he won, it was not a problem.
He felt her shift beside him, creating even more space between their bodies. She kept doing that. It was fine, it was best that way because even though he was having sex with her, he had no intention of falling into cuddling.
He had not fallen that far yet.
-R-
Sesshomaru's glance was focused on the pasta boiling in front of him. The apartment was quiet since he was the only occupant and the bubbles of boiling water was the only sound in the vicinity. Kagome was gone and she did not leave a note. He figured she had another appointment with her psychologist. Or she left because tonight - tonight marked his win. He tolerated her for a whole week and according to her own rules, he won. He was used to winning; he often did. Though this win did not feel like the others. He dipped his head forward and grabbed the wooden spoon before stirring the noodles. He won. They were going to forgo the condoms and begin working on conception.
There was a lot of work to do, a lot of changes to go through but it could not be worse than anything else they did so far.
His thought process was interrupted when keys jingled and the door opened. He kept his head straight, never looking at her. He heard her hang her purse and kick off her shoes before she walked in his direction. Though she kept a distance between them since she saw at the counter, her arms resting on it from the sound of it.
"I went to see the doctor. Real doctor," she precised before he thought she meant her psychologist.
There was no easy way to ease into this conversation so she did it like a band-aid; she ripped it off.
Sesshomaru quietly put the spoon down, unsure of what she expected him to say. He usually went with her for her appointment so that he could track her cancer's healing process. Now she decided to go alone. It did not really affect him. He simply traveled less and wasted less time. If she did not need him, he would no longer go. It was as simple as that.
"It wasn't my regular doctor." This time there was a shake in her voice. "It - it was about my - hm, my eggs."
And then she had his full attention. She saw him tilt his body in her direction, listening carefully. "I - Chemo is bad for your eggs. I - I wanted to see if everything was okay."
She did some research. Internet research but research nonetheless. Chemo could be fatal for ovaries in certain cases. Some it was not safe, or you had a wait a bit before starting the whole baby process. It could come with a lot of complications or it could be safe. Her chemo was rather strong and - it was the worst. She thought there was no point in trying if it was not going to lead to anything. Disappointment should be avoided at all cost and it was what she intended to do. She never really - they offered to harvest some of her eggs when she started her treatment but she never thought she would find herself in this situation. She thought she was a goner. None of this was supposed to happen. She gave up on motherhood.
And now, things were different.
Maybe if she had known life could have turned out this way, she would have made other kinds of decisions.
He spun around, resting his hands against the oven's black handle. He stared at her, searching her face for an answer. The thought never crossed his mind. He always assumed she would be fertile and that would be the end of it. Their situation was complicated; he was healing her. Or at least the bond and his youki were. And now she was healing herself. Although, did that include damage, dead eggs? He did not know. This was new and unexplored territories. They made most of it up as they went along. He shifted his gaze upwards, meeting her eyes for the first time since the conversation began.
"And?" He felt no emotions, he saw no hints of an answer on her features. She was a blank page.
"He was surprised," she let out as she let her back round. "My cancer was aggressive so - my treatment was as well. He thought - I might have to wait a few years and then see if - if anything was good. He could not tell me for sure but - he thinks I might have a few viable eggs amongst the trash." He used better words but honestly, she did not feel like talking like a doctor. "It - it might be difficult but it is possible." She did not know if her eggs would be better over time. Maybe the bond was going to fix them too. She did not know. But she did know there was a slight hope. Very, small one.
"Is that all?"
"He said - he doesn't know if my body is ready yet. I'm still weak. My periods aren't regular and - my body might not be able to handle a pregnancy this early in my recovery road." She cocked her head to the side. "Then again, he thinks I'm healing at normal weak human speed so… It might not mean anything." Granted right now her body might not be 100% ready but it might be in a few months. Plus, if she looked at their current odds, it was going to be a while before she actually got pregnant. It worked out.
"Pregnancy is possible?"
"Difficult, but possible. Eventually."
He crossed his arms in front of his chest and observed her face. She was taking the news well, better than he expected. There were no tears, no disappointment. She was simply fine.
"And you are fine with this?"
She let a chortle escape her throat. "What else am I supposed to be?" Nothing was right, everything was screwy. Even now, staring at him, it was though someone was clawing at her chest, ripping her heart to shred. Through the emotionless sex, she developed a bad habit; she took comfort in his embrace. She used his body to satisfy the needs of her heart. She took all he had to give but she gave too much of herself in return. It was getting dangerous. She could see it now. Because she wanted his warmth close to her, she wanted those strong arms wrapped around her body.
"I can have a baby. It'll be difficult - like everything else." The last three words slipped out. She was tired, she was emotionally drained and - she did not know if it was a good or bad thing.
"You will uphold your word?"
"I will." Did he doubt her? She did not know if she should feel insulted or not. "I said I would, so I will." She laid her head down on her arm. "Just - don't expect a baby anytime soon."
Because nothing could be simple.
He watched her silently, her emotions sinking inside of him. She was disappointed - but she did not look disappointed. It hardly mattered to him; she said it was possible. Her body would keep on healing and they simply would keep on trying. It was not as though he could seal himself away from her; he would take her again. At least the possibility of pregnancy was still alive and he would get an heir. Plus what did human doctors know about a miko mated to a youkai? She was fertile from time to time which meant that everything was fine. His nose would not lie to him.
Sesshomaru tore his eyes away from her and re-focused his attention on his pasta. He took the pot off the stove, emptied the pasta out and shoved them in a bowl. He added some sauce and then slammed the bowl in front of her. Startled, she jumped while her eyes searching his face for an answer.
"Eat."
"I'm not hungry," she dismissed.
"Eat." This tone his tone shifted; it was an order.
She blinked. Sesshomaru never truly cared about her life or what she did. Even when she broke down all he did was give her a pep speech. He did not yell at her, he did not order her around like he was the boss of her. But now he did? She could not talk back to him could she? No. Of course not. He did so many things for her that it would be ungrateful to repeat that she absolutely was not hungry. Her stomach was churned and she was not certain she had digested the news yet. How was she going to feel about all of this?
Kagome stared at the bowl, watching the smoke coming out of it. She did not want it.
"You cannot get pregnant if you are skinny."
And he was right. But she did not want him to be right.
Regardless, she hooked her finger on the bowl and inched it closer to her body. Slowly she picked up the spoon and began eating. The food tasted bland but it had nothing to do with his cooking; everything was tasteless at the moment. She wanted to throw up - but she would not. She had to eat and she had to help her body get ready for the changes coming her way. Pregancy. A baby. She ignored the jitters, she ignored the way her throat clamped up or the sweat forming on her palms. It would be fine. She would do this, she would be a mother.
"I have re-arranged the space."
She let her spoon drop and glanced his way. "What do you mean?"
"You may move the rest of your items into the bedroom."
He won. They survived the week and now it was time for them to condemn her bedroom. She had to fully move in so that he could get rid of her furnitures. They would need to transform her bedroom into a nursery. Although it might take time for them to conceive, they needed to be prepare. If he sold everything, he would have enough for the basic utilities like a crib. It would take a while for it to be done meaning they had to start soon.
"Oh. Right. I'll do that - right after."
He nodded and then removed his attention from her. She took another spoonful of noodles while he began doing the dishes. Everything fell into quietness again, letting him know that she would abide his wishes. Meanwhile, her thoughts ran across her mind, panic seeping through her veins.
It was no longer his bedroom.
It was theirs - officially.
-R-
Every night, she slept in his bed. Every night it was easy. Why should it not be? Once the awkwardness of the first night was over and done it there should not be anymore problem. And yet there was. Because now all of her belongings were in his bedroom. He cleared drawers for her; not that she needed much room. The amount of clothes she owned was ridiculous. Her mother had kept a lot of them since they no longer fitted her. Even the things she had now were too big for her - but she required clothing. It was not an option. Until she had a job, she would not be spending money on clothes. Plus, it might be useless; if she became pregnant those loosely fitting clothes would be perfect for her.
But the clothes did not matter.
She did not care about the drawers.
Or the fact her ugly, grandma panties were near his silk boxers.
No, none of that matter.
None of those were the reasons why she remained on the couch, mindlessly zapping through the channel while he was in bed reading a book. She was convinced he could smell the deceit on her but it did not force her to move. Instead, she remained where she was, her small behind glued to the couch. This night would be different from every night. The first time they laid together - if someone could qualify it as laying - it was well the first time. Then, every other time, it was a challenge and they were protected. This time - there was a whole new purpose to their copulation; procreation. They would sleep together in the hopes of producing a child. A child she might not be able to have. A child she might not be a good mother to. It was a lot.
Once she stepped in there, it all began.
At any point after they did it, she could be a mother.
A terrible, horrible, depressed, weak mother.
She tugged on her white sock, anything to release the stress building in her mind.
Eventually, she would need to make an appearance or he would begin to wonder. She gave him her word and she even proclaimed out loud that she was completely fine with the deal they made. There was no time to turn back. This was what she owed him - the life for a life she had to give back. All she could hope was that she would not be making a baby utterly miserable. The baby was not there yet; she had time to make changes right? She could do things differently, she could better herself - she could even…she was already doing all that she could tolerate. Her mind was weak, weighing her down and her body was useless. Could she really handle more than she had going on?
She was about to find out.
Her hand was shaking as she shut off the TV. She dropped the remote down on the coffee table and then tugged at her white t-shirt. Now or never. Her weak legs allowed her to lift herself from the couch and her fingers grazed it as she headed in direction of the bedroom. Though she was quiet, her footsteps felt loud as she closed the distance between them. By the time she reached the bedroom her throat was completely dry. She poked her head in and watched him as he laid there, his chest bare, with a book delicately placed in his hands. He did not even raise his head to look at her while she made her way inside. She carefully lifted the white sheets and sneaked underneath them. She sat in the bed, the pillow against her back and her hands clasped together. Only one thing left to do; wait.
And wait she did but he never put his book down.
Did he change his mind?
Was something wrong?
Should she speak up?
She popped her lips while nervously breaking off her nails. If he did not do anything it was because he did not want to - right? That was the logical explanation. Unless…unless what? No there was nothing else. There could not be anything else. She finally freed her hands and began tapping her fingers alongside of her thighs.
How in the world was he supposed to read when she was beside him, acting like a total nervous wreck? He sighed silently before lowering his book. "Is something the matter?"
His words jolted her right up. "Oh - sorry, did I - I didn't mean - I mean, I'll sleep." That did not even make any sense. She slept with him before - as a matter of fact she made it a rule to take as much as she could. There was no love so this was the love she would never receive. Why did she lose that drive all of the sudden?
"Was there enough room in the drawers?"
"Yes."
"Did you manage to transfer everything?"
"Hm, yeah I think so." If she did not consider the stuff that was left at her mother's - but she did not want those things anymore. "It's yeah - I - everything it. Thank you for making room." She knew that was probably difficult.
And then silence fell again. Kagome nervously tapped her fingers together while Sesshomaru stared at his book. This could not go on. Something had to happen.
"Did you wish for me to confirm you were fertile?"
He knew why she was nervous and he even knew what was bothering her. However, she was an adult and not a child. If she had a problem, she could voice it on her own. It was not like she did not want to indulge in the pleasure of the flesh. She was the one who initiated most of the contacts. Especially that time on the couch. The problem laid with the child - but she confirmed she was going through with her word. Did she truly believe she would be a horrible mother? He was sick and tired of having this argument with her. If she did not believe what he said, the only way she would believe it was by herself - by experiencing it. Once she held the baby in her arms, she would see what he saw.
"Hm -" What. "I- yeah."
It would actually feel a lot more relaxing if she was not currently fertile - she could return to taking without having all these thoughts bothering her.
He finally put his book down on the bedside table and he shifted his attention to her. He pushed the sheets off their bodies and she stilled. She watched with wide eyes as he approached her body. His large hands found their ways to her grey sweat pants and he began tugging on them. Although she forgot how to breathe, she lifted her rear to allow him to take off her pants. Did he not say he was going to confirm if she was fertile? What did that have to do with getting her naked? But he did not stop. He gripped at her white cotton underwear and took them off as well, leaving her bare to the cold air. His fingers hooked under her knees and lifted her legs until they rested on her shoulders. Then he shoved his nose to her core.
And she moaned.
She wanted to be panic, she wanted to let all of her worries get in the way but she could not. How was she supposed to think straight? She should be like a scared deer and she should run away. She should - oh dear lord. His nose moved around, stirring a warmth inside of her. He could make her body melt like a fire with one touch. How did he do it? She was not supposed to be turned on - she was supposed to be nervous and a wreck. And was that a tongue? He did this to her once, only once - back when they were trying to avoid this whole mess. Now, nobody was trying to avoid it. She was force to close her eyes while a wave of heat washed over her body and her toes curled while he lapped at her dripping core.
The will to resist was getting weaker.
They said difficult. It would be difficult. It would not happen now. She would have enough time to come to term with this. If she stop sleeping with Sesshomaru - she would have nothing. This was what kept her going - this was what filled the hollowness of her heart and kept her sane. How could she not lose her sanity? She was in love with Sesshomaru, with the ice king. There was no coming back from that. And there was no cure. She needed this, she took to fill her heart. Selfish, this was what she became now. A selfish girl who took what she could and thought it was enough.
"It is difficult to tell but I believe you might be in heat." Some of her cycles were wrong, they simply did not come along or they were shorter than they were supposed to be. The scent was somewhat right which led him to assume she was entire close to her heat or in heat.
"Oh," was the only sound that passed her lips. The stress from earlier was gone and her entire focus was on the pulsing feeling in her core. Oh god. And why was he keeping his face there with his warm breath tickling her and teasing her? He did not move. He stayed there. Why? Why?
He raised his eyes and looked into hers; they were opened wide, glancing at him with panic shining in them. For him, this was the same thing. Condom or not, it was the same action. All that changed was the result; a child or not. Clearly that was the tipping point for her.
"Did you change your mind?"
Again why were they having a conversation with her legs hooked around his neck? He had to be able to hear her heart pounding, ready to break through her chest. "I haven't." She already told him that. Why did he keep asking her?
She wanted him to inseminate her while her feelings of nervousness washed over him like waves? Did she not know how distracting that was? This was why he found feelings displeasing but of course he could not escape this hell; they were bonded, their link stronger than ever. Everything that plagued her, infected him as well. If she said she wanted this - they would do this. He moved his hand up to her stomach and then, inched himself forward. Her legs remained on his shoulders while he laid his stomach on top of hers. Her breasts were pushed up to her throat while his lips hovered her collarbone. He licked the only visible flesh available to him and gripped her sides with his hands.
Kagome pinched her lips together and involuntarily thrusted her hips into him. When he touched her, she melted. He was doing this for one reason. He wanted a child, he wanted to get her pregnant. This was not about her taking; it was him who was taking. Did she want him to take from her? Did she want to be used the way she used him? It was all he would ever do. Use her to get his goals, use her to satisfy himself. It was better than nothing right?
Sesshomaru used the distraction to lower his boxers, kicking them off his legs with his feet. He let them drop to the ground carelessly and pushed himself back against her. His hard erection touched her wet core and he felt her legs squeeze his neck. Usually, she laid flat beneath him but now that her legs were up, he was tempted to keep them that way. At first, he was about to reach for a condom but then he remembered; those were no longer necessary. He could go ahead and proceed. This would be it. If it worked, she would bear him a child and he would be a father. He would raise an heir in this messed up, human ruled world. At least his child would live long enough to see the world change and transform.
"Are you ready?"
In their last few times, he did not bother to ask. Then again, she was the one who initiated those times, meaning she clearly wanted it. But that question had a hidden one behind it. "Yes," she whispered.
And then, he pushed in - but not quickly like the other times. It was slow, leaving a build up as he filled her completely. She stretched around him, her warmth surrounding him and sucking him in. She held a breathe, her lips parted as he sheathed himself inside of her. Something was different, better; he was deep, deeper than he had ever been before. The more he pushed in, the more her legs raised and at some point, it became unbearable; she tightened around his neck trying to find something to hold off the feeling. She wanted to push him out and bring him in further at the same time. She thrusted her hips upwards, allowing him an even better access. A deep moan tore from her throat and her back arched.
His hands glided the sides of her body, all the way up to her breasts. They had more bounce than before but they remained small. Regardless, his fingers slid across her breasts, his fingers grasping at the flesh. He kneaded them while he slowly pulled himself out of her and then back in. This way was better; every time he plunged and reached a new depth, she would squeeze him, keeping him locked inside, her juices enveloping him. The bigger her desire, the more his raised. He rolled his lips and watched as she squirmed under the sensations. Her hands rose and she dug her nails into his arms, grazing them down but never breaking the skin. She left red marks behind but he did not care.
Skin rubbed against skin, fingers rough with her breasts, toes curling into his hair, and moans of pleasure escaping her lips. He rode her, pushing, demanding and taking, until the pressure built up to an unbearable point. He had gotten used to her body during the past week and knew the triggers and the signs that announced her upcoming release. He picked up his pace easily, feeling his erection pulsing inside of her. The build up drove through him until he felt himself explode inside of her much like he had done the very first time they slept together. The searing liquid filled her and he remained there as he felt himself swell inside of her into he was locked in that position. For a while.
Kagome laid beneath him, covered in sweat, while he remained dry and flawless. That part she enjoyed a bit less; she was always a mess in the end while he looked at perfect as he did in the beginning. Muscles of marble, flawless skin, perfect hair. Everything about her was wrong. She rolled her hips, thinking he would roll off of her as he usually did - but he did not. He remained as he was and as she moved her hips she realized that they were stuck? Oh my god, they were stuck? What?
"There is no reason to panic," he said as he lifted himself from her body. He used his free hand to lower one of her legs off of his shoulder and then the other.
"We're not stuck?"
"We are but that is because I knotted with you."
"K-knotted?"
"It is to ensure a better insemination," he explained, carefully choosing his words.
"O-oh."
Well this was awkward. She was used to them sleeping together, bodies sliding, feelings surging but this was new. Their intimacy was never linked to talking; they did not talk. It was simply not something they did. Now, he was on top of her - completely naked and she was supposed to do what exactly? It was probably best if she stayed silent. Any attempt at a conversation would only make this whole thing a lot more difficult than it already was. So why could she not stop freaking out? She wanted to roll on her side and fall asleep while he was far away from her. Far far away. Her bottom lip began to quiver and she wanted to yell at herself. It was no time to be pulling this off; she could not hide it from him.
Tears pooled in her eyes and despite her best efforts, she was unable to keep them at bay. Deep breathe, deep breathe. That was the solution right?
"Are you hurt?"
Nope, he noticed.
"I'm fine."
Being around humans was uncomfortable for him - mostly because they were all idiots. However, he usually did not mind her presence. This time was completely different. This was not what he had in mind when he allowed the knotting to happen. No, he did not expect them to speak but he did not anticipate the fact that she might cry. She said she was fine, therefore he should not ask any other questions.
And yet, her uncertainty unsettled him.
"Is this -"
"NO, it's not about the baby. I said I would have the baby, and I'm going to."
The last time she snapped at him, they ended up having sex for the first time. Although the difference was - he had provoked her. Now, he had done absolutely nothing to deserve her outburst of rage. It slipped her without her own accord. He kept asking about the child as though everything was about that. He knew nothing about her. If he did, he would have known something else was bothering her. But he was Sesshomaru and as she repeated to herself time after time, there was only one thing he would ever give her; his body. His heart was not hers to have and it did not matter how many times she gave her his; he could not take it. He would never know how to love.
Words died on her lips and she would never say them out loud.
"Very well," were his only words as he raised his head to look at the bed's headboard rather than her face. He had nothing to say about her outburst of rage. It was a welcomed emotion; it was better than sadness, pity or shame. He wanted to kick those emotions out of her; he did not want her or himself to feel them. It was time she picked herself up from the ground. Especially now that she would become a mother.
If he said anything, she would not do it again. Though he was not certain he enjoyed the fact that she raised her voice at him.
Seconds ticked away, neither looking at the other, and then, finally he was able to free himself from her core. As expected, as he slipped out, so did his cum. As soon as he landed on his side, she bolted from the bed. He watched as she ran to the bathroom and he knew she had a mess to clean. She left the door open behind her, allowing him to see her as she rushed to the bathroom, bare naked. She was gaining weight; there was a bit more skin and fat jiggling when she ran. It was good thing.
Meanwhile Kagome slammed the door of the bathroom closed and rushed to the toilet. She was a sticky mess. She did not know why she was expecting anything else; it was exactly what happened the first time around. She rested her elbows on her thighs and then hide her face in her palms. Finally, the tears streamed down her face and she let the sobs come out. She kept herself quiet, though she knew she had no privacy. He knew she was crying. At this point, she was unable to hold it in so it did not matter. Her heart had burst open and it needed to be let out. She heaved, trying to fill her lungs with air but it did not work.
This felt like death.
Those words would hunt her forever. The words she could not speak. She could never ask him to hold her.
She had his body. He took her time after time, he kissed her, he touched every part of her body but he would never hold her.
Because he would never love her.
And for the first time the weight of that realization broke her.
-R-
- 22
- 23
- 24
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Red Lotus