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Loving My Enemy	By : inuyashasgirl Category: InuYasha > General Views: 12928 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter 28: Kikyo�s Memories

A/N: This is just a glance into Kikyo�s mind. It�s a past between her and Inuyasha that is purely fictional to reflect the story. Enjoy!
Kikyo returned to the shrine and immediately retreated to her room. She lay back on her small bed and stared up at the ceiling. Her brown eyes were practically drowning in her unshed tears. It had been difficult to see Inuyasha again after so many years of being away from him. Now that he was mated and had two children that was like a dagger piercing her heart. She closed her eyes and felt two warm tears trickle down her pale cheeks. Her mind drifted to a place when she had been free to just live her life as she chose. The time was back when she was but a small child. Kikyo had not begun her miko training until she had turned twelve years old.
She remembered when she had first see n Inuyasha. She had been a small child of only five years old. Kikyo had been playing with a ball and Inuyasha had run up to her. She easily remembered staring up at his white dog like ears that stuck out of his long thick silvery hair atop his head. *Begin Flashback* �Um why do you have ears like a doggy on your head?� The cute little boy with pretty amber eyes grinned at her.
�Cause my mommy says I�m special. What�s your name?�
�Kikyo. What�s yours?�
�My name�s Inuyasha. Can I play with your ball?�
�Yeah. What kinda name is Inuyasha?�
�I don�t know. What kinda name is Kikyo?�
�I don�t know. Come on let�s play!� She and Inuyasha had played all afternoon until Kikyo�s father had come looking for her.
�Come Kikyo, it�s time to go home.�
�But otousan, I wanna play with Inuyasha!� Her father stared down at the little hanyou boy standing next to his daughter.
�Go home now Kikyo, do not play with this half breed.� Kikyo turned to Inuyasha her brown eyes looking very sad.
�Sorry I gotta go home now. See you later Inuyasha.�
�Okay, bye Kikyo.� *End Flashback* Kikyo�s brown eyes fluttered open quickly. �I was so free back then, how I wish I could still be that way! How did I become such a hateful bitter woman?� Kikyo sat up and pulled back the upper right corner of her mattress. She grabbed a thin and very worn old brown leather journal. Kikyo opened it and skimmed to the page that she had read nearly a million times before since the day she had written it. Her eyes misted instantly when she began to silently read what she had written many years ago.

�Journal,
My heart feels as if it�s about to burst from all the love that is inside me. I find myself experiencing the one thing that I never imagined I would. I have fallen in love journal, but not with just an ordinary young man. His name is Inuyasha and he is a half demon. I do not know if he feels the same about me for he has told me nothing. I am afraid to confess my love to him for the fear of rejection. That fear is too great for me to risk revealing my feelings. So it is with a great sadness that I have decided to keep my feelings for Inuyasha a secret. I think that for now this is all I can say. Goodbye journal.�

Kikyo closed the worn leather journal and pressed it against her chest. She closed her chocolate brown eyes and traveled back in her mind to the day when everything had been forced to change for her. *Begin Flashback* Kikyo had a week to go before her twelfth birthday. She had been reading her journal and had forgotten to hide it before going to meet some of her friends in the village. That evening when she returned home she found her mother in her room. �Hello mother, what are you doing in my room?� Her mother held up the brown leather journal. �M-my journal! How did you get that?�
�It was lying on your bed Kikyo. But that�s not important.�
�Then why are you holding it?�
�What I discovered inside has deeply troubled me Kikyo.�
�You read my journal mother?�
�Yes Kikyo and it seems that I have found out what you have been hiding.� Kikyo�s heart leapt into her throat.
�Oh and what am I hiding mother?�
�The fact that you have been harboring romantic feelings for a demon!�
�Mother I-
�Enough Kikyo! You shall be sent to another village to live in a shrine and learn to control your miko abilities. You shall never see that half breed Inuyasha ever again, do you understand?� Kikyo hung her head in defeat.
�Yes mother, I will not see Inuyasha again.� *End Flashback* Kikyo flipped through the pages of the journal to the last page that she had written. Her brown eyes skimmed over the faded ink quickly silently reading the words that she had jotted down years ago.

�Journal,
I have been sent away to live in a village by the name of Erisei. I now live in the old shrine that is home to the village priests and priestesses. They tell me that my miko abilities are the most amazing that they have witnessed in quite a long time. However my heart feels as empty as an endless abyss now that I have been separated from my beloved Inuyasha. My heart longs to see his bronzed face with his impish grin and glittering pools of amber that remind me so much of the sun when it sets in the late evening. I did not tell Inuyasha that I was in love with him and nor did he tell me that he loved me. I have no choice but to force Inuyasha from my heart forever. My life as a free woman has ended and now I must embrace the life of a miko and remain pure and committed to Kami. I shall never again know the joy of how it feels to be in love but that is the sacrifice I have been chosen to make so I shall accept it with open arms. Goodbye journal, I do not know when I shall confide in you again.� Kikyo shut the journal abruptly and wiped away the tears that were spilling down her cheeks.
�Damn you Inuyasha, for making me love you! I thought that I had cut you out of my heart for good. But seeing you again has made my heart awaken and remember the feelings that I once harbored for you. However it is useless for me to hold onto these old feelings for your heart belongs to another now. You are forever bound to Kagome because of the bond that you created by taking her as your life mate. I cannot chanate ate and I have to accept the fact that you shall never look at me the way that I looked at you. Your heart will forever cry out for Kagome. Kami why have you been so cruel to me? What have I done to deserve to have my long forgotten feelings revived?�
Kikyo placed the old leather journal back underneath her mattress and pushed the mattress back into place. She stood and walked over to look out the window. The sun was shining and the birds were chirping loudly. �I wonder if I shall ever find love again? Do I truly belong here in the shrine living the life of a miko? My heart longs to be loved and cared for and a miko is denied the pleasure of being loved and being able to give love in return. Perhaps I shall leave the shrine and find a new village to reside in. A village where I can start over as just an ordinary woman unbound by the restrictions of a miko.� Kikyilediled broadly and turned to look at her room. She went over to the trunk at the foot of her bed and opened it. Kikyo grabbed an ivory linen bag with woven rope handles. She began placing what little belongings she possessed into the bag quickly. �Yes I shall leave this shrine and my life as a miko behind. I will find love and freedom once again!�

Kikyo grabbed the old leather journal from her mattress and pressed it against her heart once more. �It is time to let go of you Inuyasha. I shall burn this journal and with it my long kept feelings for you. It is time for me to forget my love for you and find a new love. Someone who will love me in return the way that I deserve to be loved.� Without a sound Kikyo headed out the back entrance of the old shrine and climbed onto her black horse that was waiting in the shrine�s stables. She headed out onto the small worn dirt path without so much as a glance back towards the shrine that had served as her home manymany years. Kikyo traveled until she reached a small clearing. She dismounted from her horse and tied her to a tree. Kikyo then reached into her bag and pulled out the old leather journal. She quickly built a fire and tossed the journal into the flickering flames. Her brown eyes watered as she watched the brown leather journal begin to burn. �Goodbye Inuyasha.� Kikyo caught some fish from the nearby river and cooked them over the fire. The smell of the cooking fish attracted none other than Kouga himself.
�Wench, what are you cooking?� Kikyo looked up to see the very handsome and muscular young wolf demon. His long dark hair was swept up into a ponytail and he had the most beautiful sapphire eyes she had ever seen.
�I�m cooking some fish, would you like some? My name is Kikyo, what�s yours?�
�My name is Kouga, I�m the prince of the wolf youkai people. Are you alone?�
�Yes I am. Why do you ask?�
�You�re far too lovely of a woman to be traveling without a husband.� Kikyo smiled at Kouga�s words.
�Sadly I have no husband.� Kouga�s blue eyes widened in shock.
�You are not mated?�
�No. Do you have a wife Kouga?�
�No Kikyo, I do not. Why do you not have a mate?�
�Because I was a miko for a long time and they are not allowed to marry.�
�So you are no longer a miko?�
�No. I have chosen to leave the shrine that was my home.�
�Why?�
�Because I am tired of being alone. I am nearly twenty two years old and I am beginning to long for a family of my own.�
�You wish to have children then?�
�Yes I would like to have children to care for.�
�Well then Kikyo, I am glad that I stumbled upon you.�
�Why?�
�Because the time has come for me to choose a mate. You shall make a fine mate and mother for my pups. Will you come back to my palace in the mountains with me?�
�You would want me to be your mate?�
�Yes, you�re quite lovely. Will you be willing to accept a demon as your mate Kikyo?�
�Yes Kouga, it matters not that you are a demon. Will you love me and care for me?�
�Of course. I will protect you with my life. You and I shall be bound until you or myself is killed or die.� Kikyo nodded and handed Kouga a piece of fish. �You will have to give up your virginity tonight Kikyo.�
�I know. I�m ready.� The two ate in silence and then Kouga stood.
�Let us return to my palace to consumate our joining Kikyo.� Kikyo stood and watched as the last of the flames from the fire flickered and died out. She then grabbed her belongings and climbed back on her horse. Kouga led the black horse by the reigns gently. He glanced up at the beautiful brown eyed maiden with raven hair that would soon become his mate. She smiled at him sweetly and held out her hand to him. Kouga smiled and took her hand in his much larger one. He then jumped onto the back of the horse with little effort and wrapped his arms around Kikyo�s tiny waist. Kikyo leaned back against Kouga�s broad chest feeling his strong heartbeat against her back. The two reached Kouga�s palace by sunset and Kouag helped Kikyo off the horse. �Ginta, take Kikyo�s horse and tie her up so that she cannot run free.�
�Yes Prince Kouga.� Kouga led Kikyo into the cavernous palace and back towards his den. He shut the door behind them.
�Now the time has come to claim you as mine Kikyo.� Kikyo smiled and stood still as Kouga turned to face her. He picked her up and carried her over to his bed that was lined with furs. Kouga laid Kikyo down gently on the bed and reached for the obi that held her shirt closed. Kikyo lay still and watched as Kouga�s thick fingers untied her obi. He pushed open her shirt and pulled it off her shoulders. His sapphire eyes stared down at her large milky white bts, ts, her pink nipples hardening into two stiff peaks quickly. �Beautiful.� Kikyo blushed and chewed her bottom lip as Kouga began tugging her pants off her hips. Kikyo raised her hips to help Kouga get her pants off more quickly. Kouga gazed down at the ebony tuft of hair that was nestled between her creamy thighs. He knelt down and pushed her knees apart quickly. Kikyo craned her neck to watch as Kouga�s face came to rest right at her entrance. She whimpered in surprise as his tongue came out to part her delicate folds.
Kouga began lapping at Kikyo�s womanhood making her satiny flesh start to become lubricated from her nectar. Kikyo moaned out Kouga�s name from the incredible pressure his tongue was applying to her little bundle of nerves hidden within her womanhood.
Kikyo�s brown eyes jerked open when she felt Kouga�s tongue leave it�s place within her womanhood. �Kouga?�
�Relax Kikyo, it�s time.� He slid back up to her face and captured her plump pink lips in a bruising kiss making her instantly taste her sticky nectar on his mouth. Kouga stripped off his clothing never breaking their kiss. Once naked he lay over Kikyo taking his throbbing cock into his hand. Kikyo felt Kouga rub the tip of his thick manhood against her pulsing center lubricating it with her fluids. He pushed gently and gave a low groan as the head of his length slipped inside Kikyo�s tight passage. Kouga began rocking his hips pushing more of his thick and long arousal into Kikyo�s virgin body. Kikyo felt a searing pain shoot through her body as Kouga�s length ripped through her maidenhood. She felt as his cock sank all the way into her passage stretching her vaginal walls so that he could fit inside her.
Kouga began a thrusting motion against Kikyo�s tight body. Kikyo began to feel the pain dissipate only to be replaced with the wonderful feeling of being filled to the brim with Kouga�s large arousal. Kouga pulled his member out of Kikyo and turned her so that she lay on her stomach. Kikyo yelped as Kouga pulled her onto her hands and knees. Then he pulled her until her backside was pressed firmly into his lower abdomen. Kikyo felt Kouga push his cock inside her tiny body from behind. He began pumping into her at a quicker pace making their skin begin to slap together. Kikyo cried out when she suddenly felt Kouga�s sharp fangs sink into her soft flesh at the juncture of her neck and shoulder. Kouga lapped up the blood and then thrust his manhood inside Kikyo making it throb intensely. Kikyo felt the warm rush of liquid as Kouga�s thick sticky seed drenched her womb. She felt her own nectar coat Kouga�s throbbing member and begin to dribble down the insides of her thighs. Kouga pulled out of her and turned her to face him.
�Kikyo you have to mark me as well.� She nodded and he bared his neck for her. Kikyo leaned up and bit the juncture of Kouga�s neck and shoulder making her teeth sink into his bronzed flesh. His blood tasted salty and metallic in her mouth. Kouga let out a howl and then forced Kikyo on her back quickly. He was buried inside her before she could regain her composure. She wrapped her arms around his neck and began raising her hips to eagerly meet his powerful thrusts. Kikyo finally felt as if she were free. Actually more free than she had felt all those years ago when she had fallen in love with Inuyasha. Now she was mated to Kouga and soon she would be giving birth to a pup that they had created. She was free to love Kouga and raise their pup without having to worry about the code of honor that a miko was bound to. Her seemingly endless life of abstinence had finally been brought to an end and now she was free to give her heart body and mind to Kouga instead of keeping it locked away for only Kami to possess.
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Loving My Enemy