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Loneliness	By : mteagle128 Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Rin > Sessh?maru/Rin Views: 2825 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
- 2
- 3
- 4
Chapter Three
Sesshoumaru was unsure of exactly how long he lost control, his memories having become a blur. He knew it had been several days, perhaps even a fortnight or more. He destroyed anything and everything that had the misfortune of crossing his path��youkai, humans, animals, vegetation, rocks��it did not matter. He could not bring himself to care enough to discriminate. It all fell victim to his pain.
Finally, his energy completely spent, he reverted to his humanoid form. Leaning against a nearby tree, he looked at himself. He was disgusted, having come to the realization that he had failed to bathe since initiating his rampage, the sight and scent of the heavy layers of dirt and sweat caked on his skin and the dried blood on his hands nauseating him.
Could I have truly fallen this far?
Would he have done anything like this if Rin were there? Would he have let her see him like this?
No . . . never.
There, in the silence of the night, the walls of denial and rage he erected the evening of her death crumbled. The pain of the raw memories seared his chest, burning his lungs with every breath. Her voice echoed in his mind. He saw her again, laying on the futon, cold and lifeless.
Sesshoumaru fought the vision. Turning, he pressed his forehead into the rough bark of the tree, digging his claws into its trunk. He bit his lower lip, drawing blood, staining his tongue with its bitter, metallic taste. He suddenly smelled her; the memory of her light floral scent sullied by the scent of her blood drove him to his knees. The loneliness consumed him in its dark, unyielding grasp, breaking through the numbness and anger he felt. The realization he came to finally broke him.
I am truly alone.
There, kneeling at the base of that tree, for only the second time in his life, Sesshoumaru cried. He cried for the only one who had ever been worthy of his tears, the young woman whom he loved with every fiber of his being. He cried for all the smiles he would never see, the kisses he would never feel, the small flowers he would never hold. He cried for the child they never knew. For hours, he cried for all that had been and all that now would never be.
�Rin . . . ,� he whispered desperately. I miss you.
Eventually, he was physically unable to shed any more tears. Collapsing onto the ground, he decided to allow sleep to claim him, silently hoping death would come to collect him and return him to the family he never had.
His plan was rudely interrupted by the rapid approach of a most unwelcome presence.
�Shit.�
Inuyasha. I cannot deal with him right now.
�Keh, nice to see you, too, Sesshoumaru,� Inuyasha said as he emerged from the tree line.
Sesshoumaru did not even shift his eyes to acknowledge his arrival, coldly muttering instead, �Little Brother, this Sesshoumaru lacks the patience to deal with you and your all-encompassing idiocy. State your business and LEAVE.�
�Fine. I was gonna try to be nice to you, considering what�s happened, but whatever. This Inuyasha says that Sesshoumaru needs to get off his ass, stop this stupid pity party of his and come get his kid.�
Sesshoumaru�s eyes bled crimson as he flew from the ground, grabbed his brother by the throat and slammed him into a tree. Snarling, he sank his claws into Inuyasha�s neck. �How dare you,� Sesshoumaru venomously whispered between clenched teeth. �How dare you come here and presume you can lie to me about this.�
�Do you think I am stupid?� he shouted violently, tightening his grip. �My �kid� is DEAD! And after I rip out your throat, you will be, too!�
Inuyasha gasped for breath, bleeding heavily from the points where Sesshoumaru�s claws had pierced his neck. �Wha . . . the hell?� he rasped. �You . . . didn�t know? Rin . . . Kagome didn�t . . . tell you?�
The grip on his throat loosened slightly. �He was . . . Rin begged us to help him. Kagome said her healers maybe could do something. I took him there. They saved him.�
They saved him? My . . . son? I have a son?
Inuyasha fell to the ground unceremoniously as Sesshoumaru released his hand, his own arm falling to his side. Confusion and disorientation filled his mind as he too slumped to the ground.
�You really didn�t know, did you?� Sesshoumaru just shook his head. He stared at the ground, forcing himself to recall the finer details of that horrible night.
There had been so much chaos, different people rushing in and out of the hut, he had presumed for supplies. He had been too worried, too panicked to pay any attention to them. He had not even noticed if Inuyasha had been one of the ones coming back and forth from the hut.
Wait!
When the young miko had brought him to Rin, no one else had been in the room save the three of them. The infant�s body was not there. Sesshoumaru had just assumed that Rin had not been able to deliver, that the child would have been stillborn. But why had no one told him the baby was alive? That he might survive?
You idiot. Rin could not have, even if she had wanted to. She was barely able to tell you what she did.
Had anyone else tried to tell him? He had no idea, having been so lost in his own anguish. Could they have told him? It was doubtful, considering the extent of his rage when she passed. No one would have been able to come near him without being slaughtered.
Inuyasha�s voice broke through his thoughts.
�Look, Sesshoumaru, I won�t even pretend to have any idea what you�re going through. Hell, if I lost Kagome, I�d probably try to kill everybody too.�
Sesshoumaru shot him an irritated glare as he continued. �But, I do know what that poor kid�s in for. Being a hanyou with no father, no mother, no one to give a shit about what happens to you, it�s hell. I�ve been there. No kid should have to live through that.�
Inuyasha rose to his feet. �Listen, if you want the kid, come for him. If you don�t, then we�ll take care of him. Whatever you want. It�s up to you, but you need to decide now.� He turned to leave.
Please do not let this be a mistake. Wish me luck, Rin.
�Inuyasha,� Sesshoumaru said, rising to his feet.

�Yeah?�
�Take me to him.�
Inuyasha simply nodded and headed for the village.
�You know,� Inuyasha said, turning his head towards his brother, �you really look like shit.�
�Shut up and walk.�
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A/N: Thank you to midnightsweet, Dream-Toxin, oxcab and Arizonabay for your reviews of the first two chapters!! It was really exciting, espcially since I didn't think anyone would read this at all.
Please rate and review!!! FYI: The last chapter is in the works.
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Loneliness