Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Oh, Shit	By : TheKaytla Category: InuYasha > Yaoi - Male/Male > InuYasha/Sessh?maru > InuYasha/Sessh?maru Views: 10105 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the series Inuyasha, nor its characters.They are property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter Three

Sesshomaru shouting at him had successfully shut him up, but it didn't stop Inuyasha being pissed as soon as the daiyoukai dragged himself out of bed. He had remained unnaturally still on the floor beside the bed, almost holding his breath in anticipation of Sesshomaru noticing him and turning on him, glaring all the while.

God damn Sesshomaru. Why did he have to be the best at everything? Though he did look a bit like a girl, Inuyasha would grudgingly admit Sesshomaru was the best looking of the two of them. He was a head taller, his shoulders broader, his skin clear and pale over solid muscles, and his damn hair - Inuyasha knew his own must look like a scruffy bird's nest after a night on the town, but there was hardly a kink in Sesshomaru's. It just flowed right down his back like a silver waterfall over that tight, hard ass -

Wait, don't go there. Not after whatever freaky shit went down last night.

Where was he? Oh, right.

Sesshomaru was also the smartest. The best at martial arts and with the katana. People tripped over themselves just to stand close to him, and they'd happily trample all over Inuyasha to get to him. Sesshomaru also had the fancy, high-paying career and lived the lavish lifestyle. Sure, Inuyasha had never coveted the kind of fame and success and material wealth Sesshomaru had, but if he'd thought he could beat the bastard at it, he would have given it a shot.

And now this. Whoever ran the cosmos was either seriously fucked in the head or they had a major Jones for a taste of Sesshomaru. It pissed him off even more when he considered what may well have happened last night. If they really had done... that... then he could guarantee he got the short end of the stick out of the arrangement. Well... not exactly short, but that was irrelevant. Sesshomaru was too much of a control freak and he was too damn agreeable when he got smashed for it to have happened any other way.

He'd never been more thankful for the healing abilities that came with his demonic blood.

Seriously, the fates or whoever was running things was out to get him. Couldn't a hanyou catch a break? Especially because Sesshomaru was such an asshole. Why did he get all the perks? Didn't they realise this kind of shit was important to guys? In what twisted, fucked up universe was it fair that the evil bastard got the bigger dick?

This new affront was partly why he'd decided it was wise to leave. Mostly, though, it was because he expected Sesshomaru was likely to be in as foul a mood as he was, and no one wanted to be around the daiyoukai when he was angry. Especially not him. Serious injury usually followed, particularly where Inuyasha was concerned. There was also the worry that Sesshomaru had planned this. Why he would, Inuyasha didn't know, but the bastard could be seriously sick and sadistic sometimes.

He'd tried to be quiet and stealthy. Rather than risk looking for his clothes, he'd just grabbed another pillow, held it over his ass, and crept toward the door. He'd rather face the embarrassment of running around a hotel starkers then face an angry Sesshomaru. But, of course, fate fucked him over yet again and Sesshomaru spotted him before he'd even got halfway.

In the resulting argument, he'd learned at least that Sesshomaru rememebred about as much as he did. Made it slightly less likely this was all part of some diabolical plan to screw him over - literally. And he had to agree with Sesshomaru's pithy summary - oh, shit was right. He had no idea what the hell they were meant to do. He did, however, plan to strangle Miroku at the earliest opportunity. Even if it solved no problems, it'd make him feel better.

He unscrewed the bottle Sesshomaru had thrown at him - he'd get the wanker back for that, just wait - and took a big gulp, glancing over to where the youkai stood, staring into space as though in a trance. Trying to make sense of what had happened, Inuyasha supposed. Couldn't blame him. It was pretty fucked up, waking up in Vegas to realise you'd married and quite possibly screwed your worst enemy. He could think of better ways for his night to have ended. That stripper was sounding real good about now. Hell, he'd even be happy with the beer goggle moose if it meant he wasn't fucking married to fucking Sesshomaru.

Shit, what a mess.

And now he needed to piss. Wonderful though the water had been for his throat, it was not quite as useful for his bladder. Hastily putting the cap back on the bottle, he stood and headed deeper into the large suite, sparing only a muttered explanation that he needed to take a leak to the catatonic daiyoukai. Sesshomaru either didn't hear him or just plain ignored him; either way, he paid no attention to Inuyasha's movements, so the hanyou ignored him right back.

Just outside the bathroom door, he found a wad of red fabric. He toed at it curiously, and it straightened out into the form of a T-shirt. "Hey, I found my shirt!" he called back toward the kitchen, but there was again no response. Not that he cared. His luck was starting to improve. Now if he could just find his jeans, he wouldn't have to carry these pillows around like a dumbass.

He was in such good spirits over the promise of finally locating his clothes that he didn't once stop to consider just why his shirt was discarded on the ground outside Sesshomaru's bathroom. That, however, changed when he opened the door and stopped. Just stopped.

The bathroom was a mess. It looked like a mini tornado had formed in someone's wardrobe and then had a hell of a time scattering all their clothes around the spacious room. There was a suit jacket barely hanging over the toilet. A dress shirt was in the basin. Finely tailored trousers were on the floor. A pair of Italian loafers were just outside the shower, piled haphazardly with his scuffed trainers. Sesshomaru's clothes from last night, he'd bet. He did love his suits.

Following the trail of chaos to the shower, Inuyasha located his jeans in a sodden pile at the bottom. Even with a sluggish brain and a malfunctioning nose, he was starting to put two and two together.

The fun had started in the shower, obviously. Now that he was paying attention, he could smell the sex. It was almost overpowering coming from the shower; he was just glad his nose had still been on the fritz when he first woke up, because he could tell this was him and Sesshomaru. Just fucking great. His mouth was set in a grim line as he set down his pillow and gingerly plucked at the jeans with his claws, straightening them out.

"Oh, ew! Fucking gross!" Trapped in the folds and protected from the rushing water was a stain of suspicious nature. He flat out refused to acknowledge what it was and threw the jeans back down, prepared to burn them once they'd dried out completely. Another, larger stain about waist-high on the shower door went similarly unacknowledged as Inuyasha picked up his pillow and backed back out, marching to the door and awkwardly fumbling it open.

"Hey, asshole!" he shouted to Sesshomaru. "I found our clothes!"

That got Sesshomaru's attention, at least. It was a matter of moments before he was sweeping into the room, a sheet clutched around his waist, surveying the mess with distaste. He then rounded on Inuyasha.

"What is the meaning of this?" he demanded, taking in the whole bathroom with a wide arc of his arm. "What happened here?"

"Use your nose," Inuyasha replied flatly.

Sesshomaru glared at him, but inhaled deeply through his nose - then went as rigid as if a pole had been shoved up his ass. "I see," he said tightly.

An awkward silence descended then, neither meeting the other's eyes.

"Well," Inuyasha finally said, just to fill the silence. "I need to take a leak, so..." He inclined his head toward the door.

Sesshomaru snapped out of it and returned to his usual stuck up self in the blink of an eye. "You will wait your turn, half-breed."

"What!?" Inuyasha squawked. "I got here first, so I get to piss first!"

"It's my bathroom."

"I don't give a shit! You're not -"

He was cut off by a rough hand bodily shoving him from the room. With his hands occupied, he was unable to defend against such an attack and thudded into the wall opposite the door with a curse. By the time he'd rebounded back, ready to kick Sesshomaru's ass, the door was just slamming in his face.

For a moment, he stared, outraged, at the door, then he blinked and growled. "You're a fucking bastard, Sesshomaru, you know that? Asshole!" Inuyasha seethed. "You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna find your suitcase and piss on your clothes! Take that, you jerk!"

He turned from the door and began to stomp away from the bathroom, fully prepared to do just that, when Sesshomaru's clipped voice floated through the door. "If you so much as think about it, hanyou, I will castrate you."

In spite of himself, Inuyasha stopped. Coming from anyone else, that threat would mean nothing. He'd even find it funny. But from Sesshomaru...? Not only did the bastard probably have enough strength to pin him long enough, but he was probably sadistic enough to go through with it, too. Bastard.

Growling to himself, determined to piss Sesshomaru off somehow, Inuyasha walked back into the sitting room and looked around. His eyes flickered over the kitchen sink and he smiled. Absolutely perfect.

He tossed his pillows onto the countertop and hopped over it in one clean motion, too desperate to worry about his hangover, then dragged a chair over to the counter. He climbed up, faced the sink, and then... relief. He tilted his head back and let out a long, happy sigh as his bladder began to empty into the ceramic basin with a merry tinkling sound.

He grinned at the ceiling. If this didn't piss Sesshomaru off, he'd eat his pillows. Maybe it might even teach the asshole something about proper bathroom etiquette. The thought barely formed before he heard the toilet flush and the door open, followed by the soft sounds of Sesshomaru's feet on the carpet.

"Very well, Inuyasha, you may use - what in Kami's name do you think you're doing?!"
---
Peeing in the sink idea taken from the movie What Happens In Vegas.
Anyway, keep all these great reviews coming! They give me the juice I need to keep writing this stuff.
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Oh, Shit