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Change of Heart	By : PrincessAurora Category: InuYasha > Yaoi - Male/Male > InuYasha/Sessh?maru > InuYasha/Sessh?maru Views: 24279 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 8
Disclaimer: I don't own this. All characters from the Inuyasha, or Inuyasha: The Final Act Series, are owned by Rumiko Takahashi and VIZ. No money is made from this.

Chapter List
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Disclaimer: I think it’s obvious that I don’t own this. Any original characters that you find, yes, those are mine. However, all characters from Inuyasha, or Inuyasha: The Final Act…those are all owned by Rumiko Takahashi and VIZ; as are any ‘story lines’ from the episodes that I used to set the scenes at the beginning.
I WISH I was making money off of this. Sadly, I am not.
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THIS IS YAOI-INSCEST! IF YOU DON’T LIKE THIS KIND OF THING, THEN DON’T READ IT. FLAMES WILL BE HAPPILY IGNORED.
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MAJOR SPOILERS for Inuyasha AND Inuyasha: The Final Act.
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Chapter 3 – Finding Mutual Admiration

One month later found both brothers meeting at the same hot spring at sundown. Inuyasha surprised Sesshoumaru right away.
“Hey, Sesshoumaru, there’s a hot spring a few miles from here in another direction. It’s better, and it’s got a nice cave. Would you like to go there instead?” the boy asked.
Sesshoumaru hid his surprise, but had to ask, “Did you not wish to stay closer to the village? I felt you would want to be close so you could protect them if necessary.”
“Well honestly, except for Kaede, I don’t really give a shit about those humans there. They’ve always treated me okay because they knew they needed my protection. But they’re hypocrites, and I don’t really care about them. Kaede is visiting Miroku and Sango, so she isn’t there anyway. She’d be upset if she knew how I felt about the villagers, but she’s not here to know,” Inuyasha replied seriously.
Sesshoumaru found his respect for the boy increasing. He had always believed the boy lied to himself to believe humans cared for him, so he could stay around them. That he did not, surprised him. He also respected his care of the old priestess. Seeing Inuyasha’s attitude towards ungrateful humans, it reminded the Lord of his own feelings. He would protect the humans that lived under his rule, but others who wanted only his protection without showing any loyalty, he had nothing to do with them.
“Yes, Otouto, I would enjoy this other site. Show me.”
When they arrived at the cave, Sesshoumaru’s respect for Inuyasha’s instincts went up yet again. The cave was well hidden behind thick foliage. So thick that even humans with tools would not be able to get through. Inuyasha confided that when he’d first found it, long before he’d gained Tetsusaiga, he’d had to use his claws for hours to make an entry, and even that was well hidden.
Walking inside, Sesshoumaru was quite pleased and impressed. The front of the cave was large and it was well ventilated. The foliage allowed shaded light in during the day and plenty of air while protecting it from view. He could tell it had been used many times by the Hanyou over the years, for there were small pieces of furniture, as well as bedrolls and mats.
He scented water and followed his nose to the back of the cave, where he was pleasantly surprised. There was a large hot spring, with stones to sit on under the water; and even a cool-water waterfall about three feet from the spring, draining into a small separate pool. A ventilation hole was directly over the waterfall, bringing fresh air in and out easily. From front to back, the ceiling was high enough for him to stand upright; a rare feature in a cave. It was a perfect place to stay.
“This is very nice Inuyasha. Thank you for sharing it with me.”
“Sure Aniki. Oh, I uh, hunted before you got here and got a boar. But if you’d like somethin’ else we can hunt again.” He called the Lord’s attention to the boar already skinned, cleaned, and wrapped in its hide a short distance from the fire.
“No, Otouto, the boar is fine. Although, I did enjoy our hunt last time. Maybe we can again next month.”
Inuyasha was happily surprised at Sesshoumaru’s comment.
“Oh, if you want to bathe, go ahead, I can keep watch. I bathed after I hunted earlier. There are drying cloths and other stuff near the wall back there that you can use.”
Sesshoumaru did not mention anything about Inuyasha’s preference to bathe alone. He knew his offer of ‘keeping watch’ was just that, his way to avoid joining him, but the Lord allowed it and took no offense.
“Yes, brother, I would enjoy a quick bath. I will not be long.”
Inuyasha busied himself with cutting up the boar meat while he waited for Sesshoumaru. As he worked, he couldn’t help but think how nice this was, and it made him wish they would spend more nights a month this way. Maybe eventually they could. For now, he would enjoy this. He’d wanted his older brother’s acceptance nearly all of his life, and it was nice to have some of it finally. Maybe he wasn’t completely accepted, but he felt it was enough for now.
Sesshoumaru was thinking along similar lines. He’d found himself being impressed with Inuyasha many times in the years before Naraku’s death, but his anger over the swords, as well as his long-ago anger over the boy’s willingness to become human for the first priestess, had prevented him from ever showing it. After gaining Bakusaiga, strange feelings about the boy had begun, ones he could not understand.
Once Naraku gained the completed Jewel, his end had come swiftly, and they had all returned to their respective homes. He had been able to return to the West, had buried himself in his duties, and was able to ignore the strange feelings he had noticed in regards to Inuyasha. He had not seen him again until the young man had approached him with Kohaku’s letter.
However, his respect had risen a great deal in only the two nights they had been meeting this way. ‘How much more would it rise if I were around him constantly?’ That was a new thought.
For once, he was glad he had listened to his Youki. It had been his Youki’s talk about the boy that had finally made him seek Inuyasha out. Well, that and Rin’s incessant yammering about wanting to ‘visit Inuyasha-Ojisama’, especially after she had seen him desperately trying to free Sesshoumaru in their first battle with Magatsuhi.
She had explained to her Lord that Inuyasha had even tried to save her from Magatsuhi in that final battle inside Naraku. That had forced his own memories of that battle to the forefront: how incredibly strong Inuyasha had been to fight off Magatsuhi’s hold over him, giving Sesshoumaru himself the opportunity to end it. He had to admit, only in his own mind of course, that the only other he knew to possess such strength was himself.
For so long, he had been determined to seek out the strongest demons, and defeat them. Lately, he had been coming to realize that the ‘strongest’ he had sought for so long was Inuyasha. Now that he did not wish to fight the boy any longer, his respect for the Hanyou was growing.
He found himself, in the days between their meetings, with more and more questions about the boy flying through his mind. This was highly unusual for the DaiYoukai, who had always practiced calm and control, keeping his mind clear. Now it seemed his mind was always full…full of thoughts of Inuyasha.
He was glad he was able to satisfy his curiosity, but even more, he was happy to be finding out that his brother was worthy of his respect.
He wondered, what questions would Inuyasha ask of him this night?
After leaving the spring, Sesshoumaru rejoined his brother at the front of the cave. Pleased to see the boar already cut up, and noticing the raw vegetables and rice the boy had brought, he thanked Inuyasha and sat down with him to eat. After each of them eating their fill, Inuyasha re-wrapped the remains of the boar and returned it to its hanging place, out of the reach of any predator.
Although Sesshoumaru wondered why Inuyasha would need such a secure and hidden location, he did not ask. This night was for Inuyasha’s questions, and he would keep his promise.
After they had both been sitting quietly near the fire for a while after eating, Sesshoumaru began, “I promised you that this night would be for your questions, Otouto. So, what would you like to ask first?”
Inuyasha smiled. “Well, I guess first, how did Rin start to travel with you? I always wondered that.”
Sesshoumaru smiled also. It was strange for Inuyasha to see his brother not only smile, but also actually relax, and he decided he liked it.
“Before I begin, I should start by saying that prior to this incident, I had only used Tenseiga to prove to Jaken that it could not kill, by slashing at him once. He rose, unharmed, seeing for himself that the sword could not cut, and was therefore useless to me. Or so I believed at the time.
“I was resting and healing in a forest, after our fight in which you scented and used the Kaze no Kizu for the first time. I am not sure you know, but it was the Tenseiga that protected me that day, and transported me to a forest, where I awoke later.
“As I lay there, a small human girl saw me, and incredibly was not afraid of me, even after I snarled at her to get her to leave. She never spoke, but brought me grilled fish and some water that first night. I advised her to mind her own business, and that I did not eat human food.
“The next day, she brought me raw asparagus spears and more water. I asked her why she was suddenly covered in bruises. I could tell she had been beaten, and it sickened me slightly. She never answered, only smiled.
“I tried to chase her away, and never touched what she brought for me, but that did not stop her. She was a dirty, poorly clothed human child, and I had no interest. Still, her care for me would not leave my mind, even after I left that spot and did not see her again.
“One day, soon after I had recovered enough to leave that forest, I had just found A-Un and Jaken, when the wind carried the scent of wolves, mingled with the scent of human blood. At first, I was prepared to ignore it as I usually would. Then I suddenly recognized one of the scents, the small human girl’s blood. I did not understand why, but I walked in the direction of the blood. When I found her body, I could plainly see that she had been killed by attacking Wolf-demons.
“For a reason I did not understand at the time, Tenseiga called to me, asking to be used. For the very first time, I heeded its call, and so drew out the sword. For the first time, I could see the messengers of the Underworld, crawling over her corpse, placing their chains on her body in preparation to drag her soul away. Tenseiga pulsed, and I knew from the sword that I was to slice into the messengers, so that is what I did.
“I drew her up into my remaining arm, and within moments I could hear her heart start beating again. I was stunned. She looked up at me with those same innocent eyes. When she could stand on her own, I set her on her feet and walked away.
“She followed me. I never spoke to her that day I revived her, and she did not say a word to me. In fact, she did not truly speak for a very long time. She just decided, for whatever reason, to follow me, and she has ever since. Eventually, I came to think of her as my Ward; that the Tenseiga had given her to me for a reason.
“That little girl was Rin,” Sesshoumaru finished.
Inuyasha had sat unmoving and had not interrupted. He was stunned, but was careful not to let that show. He was also careful not to betray his jealousy. His thoughts raced, ‘Sesshoumaru, who has professed to hate humans and see them only as insects for as long as I have known him, decided to save a dirty little human girl? I know my jealousy is because I still wish, deep down, that he would have looked at me as a child the way I’ve seen him look at Rin. Maybe it’s because she wasn’t a half-breed? Maybe if I had been full-anything he would have treated me like a brother when I was a child? Maybe I would have had some protection?’
Inuyasha was very good at controlling his features when he wanted to be, but Sesshoumaru could sense something was wrong, mostly because the boy stayed silent for so long after he had finished talking.
“Otouto, is something wrong?” the Youkai Lord asked.
Inuyasha’s head snapped up. “Uh, no. Well, yeah, I guess I’m a little jealous. But I shouldn’t be. She was full human after all. I guess I was just wishing that, as a child, I‘d have been anything but a half-breed. I would’ve liked to have had you as a brother back then.”
Sesshoumaru’s eyes widened. He had not realized how hypocritical he would look, saving and protecting Rin while he had left Inuyasha out in the wilderness as a child. After a moment of thinking about it, he could understand why the boy had assumed that it was his hanyou-status that had kept him alone as a child. To Inuyasha, Rin’s ‘pure human blood’ would have been seen by him as not ‘dirty’, and so she was taken in and cared for instead. Nevertheless, that was wrong, and Sesshoumaru needed to correct this.
“Inuyasha, you should know, it was not Rin’s ‘pure blood’ that had me taking her in, as you think. By the time I found her, I think my heart had begun to soften slightly. Not enough, but enough that I was finally open to hearing Tenseiga. It had tried before that to talk to me, as Tetsusaiga talks to you, letting you know its will. Before that, I had ignored Tenseiga, thinking it a useless sword.
“However, you should also know that when you were young, I was young myself, and fighting to hold on to all that Chichue had built. That is no excuse for what I did, but I was arrogant and angry, and I took it out on you. I blamed you for father’s death, and that was wrong of me. I see that now.
“Maybe a part of me took Rin in as a way to somehow make my failures with you easier to ignore. I really have no way to fully explain it.
“I was wrong, though. I can admit that now. With you, I was very wrong to do what I did. I have wished over the years that I could change the past, but I cannot. I think this was part of why I have approached you now. Maybe, from now on, we can be brothers. We will both live for a very long time. Maybe over that time, we can find a way to be a family.”
Inuyasha raised tear-filled, stunned eyes to his brother. No tear ever fell, but Sesshoumaru noticed them. He then looked down to the cave floor, determined not to show any more weakness to his powerful brother.
Moments later, when he lifted his gaze, Sesshoumaru’s respect for his inner-strength rose once again. There was no sign the boy had ever been upset in any way. In fact, his eyes had that curious light back in them that Sesshoumaru was discovering he enjoyed seeing there.
“Okay, so my next question: What in the hell happened that first day we fought Magatsuhi? From what I heard Totosai say, I assumed it was some kind of final test for you. I only saw blinding light and a power that was unimaginable, but I never knew what was going on inside that coil of Magatsuhi’s. How did that all happen?
“And just so ya’ know, I was never happy about taking your arm, and would have given it back to ya’ if I could have…” Inuyasha said quietly.
Sesshoumaru met his eyes. “Inuyasha, you were defending yourself. I had left you no choice.” He then smirked slightly, “Of course, I did not foresee Tetsusaiga responding to you, especially not at that exact moment; but it did, and you defended yourself in battle. I hold no ill will for that. In fact, I never did. Now, about my arm…
“I had already given up most of my anger over Tetsusaiga by that time, but I still had some left; as I am certain you could tell by the fight where you gained the Meidō Zangetsuha. Mostly because, once again, I had no sword that I could use in battle…especially in the days leading up to fighting Magatsuhi.
“I was constantly being attacked by the weakest demons after word spread that I had no weapon. Those idiots were popping up like weeds, wanting to challenge me for the simple fact that, even without my weapon, if they could kill me it would gain them great prestige. Fools,” he smirked.
“I was also still angry inside, thinking that all father’s gifts seemed to be destined for you. I had yet to realize why he truly left you Tetsusaiga, and why he contrived to have me perfect the Meidō Zangetsuha just to give it to you. I will explain this more later. But that day…
“Magatsuhi calling me weak insulted me. Being stabbed through my right arm disabled me for only a moment, and it was my will alone that healed my arm before I took my true form.
“It was for my own pride that I attacked Magatsuhi directly, using the Tenseiga. I had no way to deal with the fact of your pity or protection. That insulted my pride too.
“My pride was shattered when Magatsuhi pierced my body, and then surrounded me with those coils of flesh to absorb my power. My anger was neutralized when I felt your anger and desire to free me from those coils; and I could feel it, Inuyasha. Inside that coil, near death but still alive, I felt your desire to have me alive still. I could not acknowledge it at the time, but in my heart, I knew it was real.
“The final pieces of that change occurred once I let go of that final anger, and that may not have happened but for you. I see that now. Feeling your intense emotion of wanting me alive is what caused my anger to vanish completely. In that instant, I became a true DaiYoukai.
“Once I had that power, I had the power to heal myself: to heal my chest wound and to regrow my arm. My body did it on its own, while I was inside Magatsuhi’s trap. That is the bright light you saw at first, the one that neutralized the coils around me. The next burst of light from my shoulder is when my new arm appeared, and Bakusaiga was in my hand.
“As for Bakusaiga, I believe it was inside me all along, at least from what Totosai said that day. I guess it was waiting for me to become a true DaiYoukai in heart, mind, and spirit, rather than just in status and words.
“Bakusaiga could only come from my body when I became a different youkai inside,” Sesshoumaru finished. He had enjoyed Inuyasha’s shocked looks as he told his story.
The only thing Inuyasha could think after hearing that was… ‘That is so fuckin’ cool.’ His look told Sesshoumaru that and the proud Youkai Lord preened slightly under that look. Inuyasha’s next thought…’His pride is back, of course. Sesshoumaru with no pride is not Sesshoumaru.’
As they talked back and forth about Bakusaiga’s abilities, they eventually noticed the sun rising through the foliage blocking the mouth of the cave. Both were disappointed that their night had ended so quickly.
“So, uh, next month then? Is meeting here from now on okay?” Inuyasha asked as he stood and tucked Tetsusaiga back in his belt.
“Yes, Otouto, I look forward to it.” Sesshoumaru took off into the sky, and was soon gone from sight.
Inuyasha smiled and jumped to the treetops, making his way north and west…he was supposed to go get Kaede from the Slayer’s Village.

~tbc

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Japanese used in this chapter:

Inuyasha: (犬夜叉) (いぬやしゃ) dog deity. 犬-dog + 夜叉- Yaksha (Buddhist guardian deities sometimes depicted as demonic warriors.)
Sesshoumaru: (殺生丸) (せっしょうまる), killing perfection; circle of destruction, perfect killing circle
Ojisama: formal version of ‘uncle’. (http://japanese.about.com/bl_family.htm)
Tenseiga: (天生牙, lit. Heavenly Birth Fang) (also known as the “Sword of Heaven” or “Sword of Life”)
Tetsusaiga: (鉄砕牙, lit. Iron-Smashing Fang) (also known as the “Sword of Earth”)
Bakusaiga: (爆砕牙, lit. "Explosive Smashing Fang") (Which is funny, since it was not forged from a fang, like the Tetsusaiga & Tenseiga, but came from Sesshoumaru’s body.)
Kaze no Kizu: The Wind Scar. (風の傷. English TV: "Wind Scar"; Literally meaning "Scar of the Wind.")
Hanyou: or Hanyō (半妖, literally translated as Half-Apparition) is a mix between a Human and a Yōkai.
Chichue: father
Meidō Zangetsuha: (冥道斬月波, lit."Dark Path Slashing Moon Wave") The attack that was originally part of Tenseiga and developed by Sesshoumaru; eventually taken by Inuyasha & the Tetsusaiga, and transformed into a cutting-type of attack.
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Change of Heart