Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Rise Of The Shikon Miko	By : golden_eyes_hypnotize Category: InuYasha AU/AR > Het - Male/Female Views: 2628 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or the characters herein. I make no money by this writing. This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to real people is all in your head.

Chapter List
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Chapter 3

To say his was surprised to hear that his eldest son actually wanted to spend time with his family would be a gross understatement. He was floored and barely managed to respond in the positive before his son had hung up the phone. And then there was the call from Inuyasha. Somehow he was hallucinating because his youngest said he was going to be helping his recalcitrant brother in his pursuit of his youngest’s best friend, who he knew from experience he guarded ferociously.   He simply had to tell Izayoi. She’d be delighted…after she stopped laughing about the irony of Sesshoumaru choosing a human.

Still, at the appointed hour, when the doorbell rang he found himself smiling despite himself as he opened the large cherry and glass front door to see both his sons standing together in the lamplight. Not trying to kill each other.

………………….

Three and a half hours away, in a poor Northern suburb, Kagome was singing her heart out to “Burn” by Ray Lamontagne, and as usual, crying, in the car. She really didn’t do well on her own. But at least she’d stopped singing “White Blank Page” by Mumford and Sons. At a lull in the verse, she heaved her chest in a big sigh and stopped for a stop sign. ‘I can’t even make it to the grocery store without making a mess of myself. Why do I always feel so incomplete? Even when I’m in a relationship it never fully goes away. Maybe my doctor is right and I am crazy.’

According to her psychiatrist, she had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from her father and was bipolar. Yes, she definitely agreed with the PTSD—how could she not with what that monster had done to her for the first 16 years of her life—but not so much the bipolar. Really, there was just Relationship Kagome and Dumped Kagome.   When she was in a relationship, she could function: she never missed work unless she was dying, she smiled more, had more energy, was always looking for ways to get out and have fun, she was always thoughtful and kind to people, her house was spotless, she took more care in her appearance and most importantly, she didn’t spend all her time planning her next food binge. Well, rather, when the relationship was going well. She had a great history of relationships going…not well.   The rest of the time she had to drag herself out of bed, she never wore her contacts or makeup (she considered herself quite vain about her eyes), she wore baggy, unflattering clothes, she had this all-consuming state of misery that lay in wait for every moment her mind was not completely distracted by friends or work to attack her. So her doctor had her taking an antipsychotic, two antidepressants, and a long list of vitamins to make her “normal.” But the thing was, they really didn’t do anything for her. And this nagging feeling of being incomplete never went away even when she thought she was happy.

The closest therapy or medication ever came to helping her was the course of Electroconvulsive Therapy she went through over the last 4 months. She had been out of work since her last breakup and nothing was easing her pain so they tried ECT. It cured her of her long standing fear of crowds after the very first session. After the initial bolus treatment of three sessions a week for three weeks, she discovered she was suffering from a rare side effect of the treatment: she had lost quite a bit of recent memories. This wasn’t necessarily a new feeling to her, since PTSD also affects memory and most of her childhood memories were lost because of it.   This new treatment, however, caused her to forget much of the vile treatment she had suffered from her last boyfriend. Inuyasha had to fill her in on the details so she didn’t make a fool out of herself trying to run back to him. Though hearing the story second hand had hurt, it was nowhere near the hurt she had felt the first time, at least from Inuyasha’s perspective, as she was blissfully ignorant of her reactions the first time around.

Jason had told her he loved her every chance he got, doted on her, sent her flowers, talked about how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, even talked about what their children would look like. In the end, however, he proved as unfaithful as the rest of them and cheated on her with his ex, slowly withholding more and more love from Kagome before she confronted him and he told her what he had done.

What Kagome could never understand was cheating. There is no longer a stigma on divorce. There is none for breaking up with someone when you figure out it’s just not right for you. For gods’ sake, if you really want someone else that badly, just break it off with who you’re with and go for it. Then the hurt is much less than it would be if you betrayed their trust. Why couldn’t people see that? She’d heard all the excuses. Most of them boiled down to “You’re so nice I didn’t want to hurt you.” Really? Cause betrayal doesn’t hurt at all. Selfish bastards.

So she ate. She’d always had an interest in cooking and loved cooking for others but when she was Dumped Kagome, she mostly ate junk. She had a major thing for Hawaiian stuffed crust pizza and sour cream and onion chips with onion dip—when she wasn’t ordering fast food takeout from WacDonalds, that is. It frustrated the hell out of her because it was like she had no self-control. She felt empty, so she filled herself until she thought she could burst. And read historical romance novels and cried. And listened to music and cried. When she was Relationship Kagome, she loved cooking healthy and flavorful meals for herself and her friends. She collected recipes online and people were always giving her cookbooks as gifts. She had enough energy to exercise. When she was younger, she had been a dancer and a swimmer, but since she left home—and her father—at 16, she barely had the energy to swim more than 10 or so laps in an hour, but at least Relationship Kagome tried. Dumped Kagome was lucky she made it out of the house for work. She longed for a day when she could move her body as she had once, with grace and fluidity of motion, but every breakup pushed the readout on her scale higher and higher.   Her father’s words haunted her and she felt the truth of them. No one would ever love her and she would only get further and further away from the joy she had felt as a young woman confident in the conditioned, athletic ability of her body. But most important, no one would ever love her.

She was 32 years old. And she felt old. Men had followed her around just to see her smile when she was 18. They had flirted with her and praised her. They admired her heart and her body.   That didn’t stop them from breaking her heart so she destroyed her body, but still, now no men looked at her. She had finally managed to become invisible to the male population.

Her counselor actually thought that she subconsciously wanted this result: that after what her father did to her she wanted men to stop hurting her and having been a beautiful young girl once, sought to deface herself until they all went away. Kagome wasn’t so sure about that. For one thing, she needed love too much to try to sabotage her efforts at finding it. It was an actual physical pain in her chest that only got worse the older she got. She’d seen a physician about it and they’d run tests but never found a cause. And her counselor’s theory didn’t support how she was so much more functional when she was in a relationship. To her, it was clear that she was the kind of person that needed someone to be complete.

As independent as she’d always tried to be, she knew she wasn’t meant to live her life alone. She was sure her last relationship had been her last chance at happiness. She’d gained 70lbs since her breakup and the only responses she got on the singles site she was on were from creepy guys into fat who actually wanted her to gain more weight. She didn’t like to judge people, but that was so not what she wanted out of life. She needed love and craved a family to whom she would give all the love she had in her heart. Unfortunately, it looked like she’d have to be content with her best friends and eventually being the best aunt she could be.

………………………

“You will tell this Sesshoumaru about your mating with Mother.”

Izayoi had welcomed the hanyou who was her son and the demon she had always tried to be a mother to into the house and brought refreshments to them after they’d settled in to her mate’s study. Meeting his eyes and sensing this was definitely a talk for the boys, she bowed to her mate and company and quietly left the room, closing the door behind her.

Toga stood and went to the built in bar. Pouring himself a double, he looked to his sons, each settled in a plush leather chair in front of his large, antique desk. Inuyasha spoke up with a “Hell, yeah” while Sesshoumaru merely raised an eyebrow. ‘Serves me right for asking,’ Toga thought. Sesshoumaru rarely drank and then only the finest sake. He poured his youngest a double as well before handing him the glass.

Returning to his seat, their father took a drink and then asked, “What has brought this subject to mind, Sesshoumaru?”

Meeting his father’s eyes he said, “The ha—Inuyasha—tells me that you shared with him the circumstances of your mating with Mother as an illustration of what can happen when the draw is denied. This Sesshoumaru would know this information.”

“It’s true, then? You have chosen?”

Nodding curtly, he said, “Yes. Kagome Higurashi is my one.”

“And you feel she will not consider you?” he asks, feeling true fear for his son for the first time in his life. Since his mate had died giving birth to a stillborn pup, Sesshoumaru had always been so mature, so self-sufficient, needing nothing and no one, closed off from the world. Though he tried to hide it, he could see—not quite worry, but concern at the corners of his eldest son’s eyes.

“Bastard didn’t even get a chance to try. She was colder than absolute zero to him.” At the glare from his brother, the hanyou added in a near-mumble, “You know, which might have had something to do with a perhaps overzealous telling of real life events,” he finished defiantly.

“Overzealous is a big word for you, brother.”

“Oi!”

“Enough!” announced their alpha. After a meaningful pause where he made sure he conveyed to both of them with his eyes that their squabbles would not be tolerated tonight, he continued, “We’re getting off topic.” Taking a large sip of his scotch, he continued with a sigh, “Kagome is a human. Are you sure you’re OK with this, son?”

“Her humanity is a nonissue. She is mine,” he replied, his tone firm.

“Not to state the obvious, Sesshoumaru, but any issue from this union will be hanyou, and we all know how you feel about humans and hanyou.” It hurt Toga to bring this up, hurt him more to bring it up in front of Inuyasha, but it had to be done.

“With respect, Father, I do not believe you do.” Taking a deep breath and wondering if this would have been any less tedious if he had accepted the offered drink, he continued, “This Sesshoumaru has no bias against humans or hanyou.”

………………….
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Rise Of The Shikon Miko