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Must You Be So Difficult?	By : GizmoTrinket Category: InuYasha > Yaoi - Male/Male > InuYasha/Sessh?maru > InuYasha/Sessh?maru Views: 7733 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 8
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Inuyasha fandom that someone else does. Nor do I make any profit from anything I do.

Chapter List
- 2
- 3
- 4
Must you be so difficult? Inuyasha             - By GizmoTrinket (Found on AO3, AFF)

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-Chapter notes:

Angst. Fluff. Budding sexual fantasies. 33 pages.

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-How to read this story:

---- Section break.

"...(none)..." Speaking aloud. +Internal +External.

'...(none)...' Thinking. +Internal.

^'...(italics)...'^ Inner consciousness (beast/yokai/whomever) thinking. +Internal.

~'...(bold)...'~ Mind-speak. Reiki +/- Yokai + Internal.

~"...(bold)..."~ Mind-speak and speaking aloud simultaneously. +Reiki +Yokai +Internal +External.

~^'...(italics + bold)...'^~ Inner consciousness using mind-speak. +Internal +/-Reiki +/-Yokai.

/...(none).../ Emotional response. Internal. +/-Reiki +/-Yokai.

~/...(bold).../~ Emotional response received through link. +Internal.

^/...(italics).../^ Inner consciousness's emotional response. +Internal.

~^/...(italics + bold).../^~ Inner consciousness's emotional response sent or received through link. +Internal +Reiki +Yokai.

                + Always.
                +/- Can be chosen to be included or not.

                Internal: Can be heard/felt/whatever by inner consciousness(es).
                External: Can be heard if the consciousness(es) have ears and are in range.
                Reiki: Can be heard/felt/whatever by consciousness(es) that are using holy energy to link.
                Yokai: Can be heard/felt/whatever by consciousness(es) that are using yokai energy to link.

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Chapter 3 - Healing

When we passed through the barrier of the cave Rin came flying at us and hugged us. Which was unfortunate. Partly because I hated being touched. And partly because I wanted the fuck out of the bastard's arms and couldn't effectively struggle when trapped between the two of them.

"Oh, thank Kami-sama! I was sooooooooo worried. Are you both ok? What happened?" She released us.

I wiggled my way out of my brother's arms and onto my feet. And then my knees gave out and I started falling into the fire. 'Fuck. This is going to hurt.' I braced myself.

An arm shot out and wrapped itself around my waist. I was pulled roughly against a body.

'I'm going to have a bruise. But, it's better than being burned I guess.'

I knew it was Sesshomaru. I wanted to want to pull away. But, honestly, I just didn't care anymore. For some reason I was human again. And I was weak. And tired. Too much had happened much too fast. I closed my eyes, hung my head and accepted my brother's comforting embrace. 'Even if he doesn't mean it or if this is all some elaborate plot, it's still nice to have some positive attention.' I allowed myself to believe, if only for tonight, that I was accepted.

----

Rin has the worst bedside manner ever. It's not an opinion. It's a cold hard fact.

Apparently, Sesshomaru put her in charge of taking care of me when I fell asleep in his arms whilst standing. I was forbidden from arguing or fighting with either of them because of what happened next.

The change was always more painful and disorienting if I was asleep when it happened. Waking up in pain and confused was bad enough. Waking up in pain, confused, trapped in someone's arms who has a scent you associate with both physical and emotional pain and your future demise (but still smelt good and made your new hormones go haywire) was hell.

'I still maintain my reaction was valid and was in no way excessive.'

^'You broke his arm while trying to rip it off.'^

I was saved from responding by being prodded in my twice bruised ribs by Rin.

~'Ow! Fuck!'~

~'Then eat.'~ Both Rin and Sesshomaru thought at me at the same time.

~'It's creepy that you can do that you know. It's like you're the same person. Only one's a girl. You could both be girls I guess. Fluffy does have the same eye makeup as Sango.'~

Smack.

"Ow! Fuck!" ~'See you even hit me at the same time. Don't you think that's weird? Although... it's more like slapping. Which makes sense because you're both girls...'~

"Mother fucker!" ~'I prefer the slapping to the punching. Just so you know. Wait, are you coordinating your abuse through the link?'~

~'Yes.'~ Exact. Same. Time.

I growled and turned off the links out of spite.

It was weird discovering that mentally talking to others wasn't something all yokai could do. Beast didn't know if it was a hanyou thing or if it was because I was special. Not many hanyou made it to their first heat and as far as he knew I was the only creature ever to have yokai and pure reiki.

'More proof that I'm a freak.' I sulked.

Sorting through my, Rin's and the bastard's emotions and thoughts on top of beast's (which Rin had yet to name - she assured me she would though) made me feel like I really did have Schizophrenia.

"Eat." They both laughed when they did it again.

Well, Rin laughed. Sesshomaru snorted, lifted the corner of his mouth and his eyes twinkled.

'Twinkled? Really? I couldn't come up with a less... weird word?'

^'I don't know about weird but it was the most accurate description. See? They're still doing it.'^

I growled and decided to distract myself by picking a fight. Well, continuing a mini-fight. "How the hell did you do that without the link? Do you two share a brain?" Then raw meat hit my face. I wiped it off and started eating.

~/Amusement./~ Mental laughter.

~'Fuck you Rin.'~ Links happened without conscious thought now. Half the time I wasn't even aware of the other person.

~'Stop eye-banging Sesshomaru and I'll stop throwing things at you.'~

"ACK!" 'Oh kami. Choking. No air.' ~'Help!'~

Sesshomaru smacked my back until the meat stopped blocking my airway and landed on the floor. "Fuck! Rin! REALLY?!"

She was laughing so hard she didn't even realize I was choking. She didn't look like she would recover anytime soon either.

I could feel Sesshomaru's curiosity through the link.

'I guess she figured out how to talk just to me without him overhearing. Thank kami-sama.' ~'DON'T EVEN FUCKING ASK!'~ I thought at him.

He tried to lift the answer from my mind.

I slammed the links shut and threw my meat at him. "Oi! We said none of that! Fucker."

He looked ashamed. At least his face moved millimeters into what would be an ashamed expression. "Gomen."

It was so quiet I barely heard him. 'Still weird for him to be so... un-lordly? Not such a cold bastard. Normal.' I snorted. 'He will never be normal.'

^'You're hardly one to talk. And you don't want him to be normal.'^

'I don't even want to think about what I want in regards to him.'

^'You mean his strong, pale, naked, striped body writhing in pleasure, eyes half closed and rolled back. Mouth parted and moaning exposing his long white neck while his long toned legs are-'^

"SHUT UP!" My ears flattened to my head and I threw my hands over them. I shook my head violently, trying to get the (arousing) image out of my head. 'I told you, NO! STOP thinking things like that!!' Beast had been doing that randomly whenever I was awake. As soon as I let my guard down-

^'- flung over your shoulders. As your throbbing-'^

"ARUGH! I said SHUT UP!!" I smacked myself in the head to get the point across.

Both my cave mates looked at me like I was crazy. They didn't say anything though. They knew I was having trouble adjusting to, for lack of a better description, being sane.

^'I've told you there is nothing wrong with that. You're yokai! It's normal. Two males isn't even a problem with humans except they've got some crazy button that makes them all uptight. Each individual is born with preferences-'^

'BROTHER! And I like GIRLS!'

He snorted. ^'Liar. You'll have amazing pups with your brother.'^

I didn't know what to be indignant about most so I settled on what I was most curious about. 'How the hell do males have pups?'

^'We're not like humans. If we desire to carry pups we can. Well, most of us can. True alphas can't. Actually they probably could. No one would know because they'd never be the uke. We evolved because female yokai are very rare and quite frankly not worth the time. Bat shit crazy and NO instincts to care for young. They usually eat them. You see-.'^

I cut him off. 'No. Just... no. I'm not talking to you about this. EVER.'

I said it with such finality that he actually shut up.

Meat appeared in my hand. I ate it and stared into the fire so I didn't have to look at anyone. Rin moved to take her fish out but I slapped her hand away.

"Not ready yet."

She snorted but listened. She got food poisoning a lot less often since I joined.

'I honestly have no idea how she survived before she came to the village and once she left. Sesshomaru is the most helpless thing I've ever seen. At least when it comes to human foods.' My curiosity was enough to reestablish a link with her. ~'Oi. How are you not dead?'~

She had the ability to understand anything you said to her with or without the link. I knew she purposely misconstrued things to make them more sexual than intended. 'Too much time with the monk.' I mused. Why she wanted fluffy and I to fuck I'll never understand. And I REALLY didn't want to ask her.

^'Because she sees what you refuse to.'^

'I thought I told you to shut it.'

~'Jaken-san took care of me.'~

I gave her a flat look and raised an eyebrow.

She sent me a picture of my expression and matched it to my brother's. We looked a lot more alike now that I had stripes- even if I only had one on each cheek instead of two and mine were purple instead of fuchsia. And the eyebrows. And the skin tone. 'I will never get used to my new appearance.' I was both glad and upset that I had markings. 'I'd always wanted them in the past but because I wanted to be full yokai. And I wanted that because-' I stopped myself. 'I refuse to continue this line of thought.'

^'You wanted your brother to accept you.'^

'I wanted anyone to accept me.' I argued.

He snorted. ^'But mostly him.'^

~'Jaken-san kept me from eating what would kill me. I was sick more often than not. I suspect that Sesshomaru-sama often took pity on me and left food where I could find it.'~

I was thrown into memories of finding food and fresh kills when I was so hungry I could no longer hunt. I ignored them.

She gave me a knowing look.

I pointedly ignored her until her fish was done. Later I fell asleep wondering if she was right.

-----

'Urgh, morning.' I tried to roll over but couldn't. I opened my eyes.

~'Why am I waking up in the middle of a girl sandwich?'~ It was a legitimate question. I was sleeping in between my brother and the pup.

Sesshomaru ignored me and nuzzled into my hair breathing deeply.

I wondered if I should stop him. 'The happiness through the link is worth the weirdness. I think.'

He was very touchy-feely. At first I threw a fit. He used the excuse that it was easier to feed me yokai if he was touching me. It was true, but I suspected it wasn't the reason.

He demanded that I use the (limited) control I had over my energies to help heal my human body instead of replenishing. I had a lot of health problems from not eating for so long. When I replied that he had no say because Rin was in charge he smirked and told Rin to tell me. I would have bitched more but I felt kinda bad for trying to take his arm again. Even if I wasn't fully awake when I did it. So, I gave in and did as I was told.

The benefit of this plan was that the stronger my ningen part was the less I needed to supplement it with yokai for strength and speed. Sesshomaru overheard me thinking this and added that was why I had so much stamina. I had: my human strength, well of energy and adrenaline, my yokai strength and well of energy, and my reiki. Plus my stubbornness. I laughed at that. As far as I was concerned he was the stubborn one.

Thus, I was continually touching either him or Rin as they fed me. As the days passed I became more and more comfortable with it. I only freaked when Sesshomaru was aroused anymore. Or, more like when I knew he was aroused. He had very good control of both the link and his hips now.

'Although, him being all touchy feely during the day and waking up being spooned by the bastard are a little different.'

^'Shhh, just enjoy it.'^

Rin ignored me too. She pulled my arm more securely around her waist and put Sesshomaru's hand on top of it. I was used to waking up next to her. I pulled her back into my chest. I thought of her as pack when the bastard dumped her in my- the village but now, even though she was an adult by this era's standards, I thought of her as my pup.

Rin was talking to her father. 'Gah, weird. He's like, nineteen by human standards. And she's... fourteen? It's weirder that she calls me dad. Never asked me if she could either.' ~'I'm like, fifteen for heaven sakes!'~

~'Seventeen-ish. Hanyou age strangely. Or two-hundred and twenty...three? Yes. two hundred twenty-three by human years. Do you count the time you were sealed?'~

'I did seem to age suddenly when the kotodama no nenju came off.'

^'Not really. You just matured as per your heat cycle over the past two years.'^

Rin and her father spoke behind me mentally. They could now muffle their conversations to the point that I couldn't listen in. It had been weeks since the sealing incident and I was getting worse about controlling the link. Half the time my thoughts slipped through to everyone when I was trying to think to myself. I knew beast wasn't doing it because I was getting better at controlling him.

He snickered. ^'Want some more ideas for your bath later?'^

'Well, controlling his control over me.'

^'Is that a yes?'^

I needed a distraction.

~'How old are you anyway?'~

He mentally shrugged. ~'Over five-hundred. I don't keep track. Mother warns me if I'm about to come upon a heat cycle.'~

Beast explained heat cycles to me. They were periods of maturation and only the first one was really important. After the first you became an adult. You got your major yokai powers and became sexually mature. Each time after you got more standing in society and became more powerful. You were also mentally unbalanced until each was complete. I clung to this excuse for my behavior. No one believed me. Not even myself.

'Wait...' ~'Mother? You have a mother?'~

~'Oh, yes. Most beings do.' Sigh. 'I imagine she'll want to meet you at some point.'~

I ignored his smartassery.

~'She killed me. She brought me back though. And it was a really important lesson for Father so I forgave her.'~ Rin actually sounded happy about it.

Based on the feelings I was getting from her father he did not.

~'How do you have a mother?'~ I could feel him preparing to make a sarcastic remark so I continued before he could. ~'I mean, that's alive. I thought dai-yokai had to mate to produce offspring? And I thought inu-yokai only took one mate at a time unless they found their true mate. And then, if they had a current mate they were killed.'~

The emotional part of the link cut off at his end. ~'I have never asked. I have, however, speculated that your mother was Father's true mate.'~

I knew I was already pushing, if not over stepping, the bounds of appropriate questions but I didn't stop. ~'A human as a true mate?'~

~'A miko.'~

I winced. That made even less sense.

^'Actually, because she had an aura strong enough to bond to your father's they could mate. And true mates would never reject each other. They were made by the kami themselves for each other. The red string of fate-'^

I cut him off. I hated thinking about fate. She was a vicious harpy who only brought misery. ~'Besides, what is the point of living if your path was already pre-determined? There is no such thing as free will.'~

~'I have often pondered fate myself. I have wondered if turning your back on fate is what causes your suffering. It would also force someone else to take your place. And in return the Kami punish you.'~

~'What the fuck did I do wrong then?'~ I didn't bother bemoaning the fact that my thoughts crept out of my control again. I had given up controlling them. 'It's not like Rin or Sesshomaru care. They actually seem to like it.'

Rin intervened. ~'I don't think it was you who caused all your suffering. I mean, I believe Naraku and all that was your fate and by overcoming you can now reap your reward.'~ She shoved a picture of Sesshomaru into my brain.

I snorted and rolled my eyes. 'Some reward.' ~'Fucking brat.'~

She ignored me, wiggled free and left the cave. I knew enough about humans' morning needs not to follow her.

Sesshomaru took the opportunity to lean up and breathe on my neck. I knew he did it on purpose but I couldn't prove it.

^'Nor do you want to. What you want is for him to lean down and kiss, lick, nip and suck the entire exposed expanse and all non-exposed areas as well.'^

'I hate you.' I also hated my pants. And I knew that soon my willpower would crumble. More of me liked that idea than disliked it now. 'It's not fair. I get hormones, finally, and my beast decides that my brother would make a good fuck. Perfect.'

^'Just imagine being held tighter. How nice it would feel to push back into him and cuddle. How much happiness you would get through the link.'^

~'He is warm...'~

^'Then grinding your ass against his-'^

When the arm tightened I smacked my head against the floor.

Thankfully Rin came in before I had a mental breakdown and Sesshomaru backed off. Minutely. More like moved his mouth a centimeter away from my neck. When she linked he didn't share his emotions with her. I was certain the emotions he was blocking were far less... brotherly then he led me to believe.

When she linked she was overly cheery.

There was a buzzing in the back of my head that told me they were chatting.

I freed myself and stretched. There was a hot spring not far (for a yokai) from here and I wanted a bath. Alone. I checked everyone's energy levels as a precaution before I left.

----

I had found this place when I was looking for some human food. As much as I loved eating raw meat or fish it wasn't enough for me to live on. I didn't get sick from eating it now that I'd had my heat like when I was a kid but the human half had different requirements. Cooking the meat and fish did not fulfill those- contrary to my brother's beliefs.

There were two pools fed from underground vents on the side of a deep stream. It didn't take much work to dig trenches and stack rocks so that the cold and warm water mixed to the perfect temperature. Plus, it had the added benefit of being self-cleaning.

I came to this hot spring everyday now. Sometimes twice a day. And I always came alone. 'Stupid hormones. I fucking hate being a teenager.'

And of course I had to think of the bastard when I came. If I didn't then I couldn't fucking get anywhere and I left more frustrated then when I arrived. 'Thank the kami for beast's imagination.' With him providing the images I could argue that I wasn't the one thinking these things.

^'It's a lame excuse.'^

We arrived and I stripped off my clothes and jumped in. 'Just shuddap and do the only thing you're good at.'

He ignored the insult and obliged.

----

I was relaxing in the other pool when I felt him. Sesshomaru was subtlety checking up on me with his yokai. Well, he was trying to be subtle. In the past it would have worked but my new ability and senses made me super sensitive to spiritual energy. He was attempting to read my energy without linking. Every time I was away for what he deemed "too long" he tried to checkup on me without my noticing. This attempt was more creative but also more noticeable because of it. I rolled my eyes and smacked him- his yokai with my yokai to let him know I was fine and to leave me alone. My washing pool was warmer and I had cut up part of a waterlogged tree from the creek to be a bench. I leaned my head back on the mossy bank and closed my eyes.

----

/Danger./

I was disoriented. I held perfectly still and searched for the threat. I didn't see anything or feel any energy. I sniffed but didn't smell anything out of place. I was about to relax, assuming that it was some dream I didn't remember that had awoken me but beast stopped me.

^'Don't move. Something's off.' /Unease./^

I allowed him to share my consciousness so we could look at the same time.

He wanted to let out a burst of yokai in hopes of scaring whatever it was out into the open. I disagreed. Either the thing wasn't aware of us or was spying on us. I wanted to know which.

I lifted myself out of the water as soundlessly as I could, focusing the majority of my senses downwind.

I hesitated, wondering if I should at least put on my hakama. 'I hate being naked but the red is detrimental for stealth. On the other hand, they'll protect me and... me. But the extra movement could attract attention-'

My ear swiveled at the sound of a branch snapping.

I forced myself not to allow any other part of myself to react. 'That snap wasn't followed by anything. Someone's spying.'

Beast wanted to jump them but I reined him in again. I'd left Tetsusaiga back in the cave.

I put on my hakama and shook myself off. While I was picking up my top I glanced over where I'd heard the sound, moving my head and eyes as if I were just routinely looking.

'There!' There was something out of place in those bushes. I forced myself to act nonchalant while I finished dressing.

^'Contact m-ah, get help.'^ Beast chuckled uncomfortably.

I narrowed my eyes. Beast was clearly hiding something but it wasn't in my best interest to pry into my own mind right now. Whatever was in those bushes was aware I was aware of it. The stench of fear reached my nostrils.

Another twig snapped as whatever it was moved.

I tackled it.

"AHHHH!!"

I looked down at the girl under me.

"Keh." I snorted and let the ningen up. "What'cha doin' out here, kid?" I insinuated she was a child to help her fear. She was young but no child.

"I'm sorry, please don't eat me!" She shuddered in fear.

I rolled my eyes. 'Humans.' "I ain't gonna eat'cha dummy."

^'You really want to mate this?'^ Beast asked, disgust clear in his voice.

'Oi, Kagome and Kikyo were different.' But I also saw his point. She reeked. The smell of human, sweat and female arousal was potent and unpleasant. Add her fear and I was as flaccid as I could get.

I looked around, there was an abandoned basket of berries next to the bushes. I picked it up and set it next to her. "Not that I ain't flattered or nothin' but you ain't my type. You may wanna move downriver from now on." I waved my hand at the multitude of bushes downstream.

My ear flickered to the sound of others approaching. I assumed they were villagers looking for her. I sniffed but they were downwind. I growled and wrapped myself in reiki. I wanted to leave but I was worried I was leaving the girl to become a snack for something else.

^'She's not your problem.'^

'I know. But, I don't want to see her hurt either...' I dithered until I felt Sesshomaru's yokai against my shield.

"Shit." I growled. I didn't know what the bastard would do if he knew a local had found my bathing spot but I figured he wouldn't let her go tell the others. Or he'd demand to join me.

"Get outta here, and don't come back if you know what's good for ya." I had beast's help changing my eyes, nails and fangs. I didn't want to scare her but I also needed to get my point across. I wasn't going to give up this spot if I could help it.

She scrambled to her feet and ran as I took off in the other direction. I dropped my shield and allowed my brother to link.

~'Why were you in a shield?'~

~'Thought I heard something. It was nothing. I'm on my way back now.'~ I lied. Hopefully he wouldn't be able to tell.

^'You should tell him. There was something... off about the whole thing.'^

I rolled my eyes. 'What could it possibly be?'

Beast didn't say anything but he was still uneasy.

'Do you really want him coming to our baths with us?'

^'Oooooooo yeah. Then he can touch us. And we can touch him. Can't you just picture it? You touching yourself but he comes up behind us and reaches around-'^

Smack.

"DAMNIT!" I glared at the tree I just ran into, tempted to hit it for getting in my way. But, I knew that was pointless. I focused instead on setting my broken nose. 'Don't do that while I'm running!'

~/Concern./ 'Brother?'~

I growled. ~'I'm fine. Beast just distracted me.'~ It was embarrassing but it'd also keep him off my ass.

My head was filled with the mental image of him on my ass.

I held my head in my hands. 'Why?!?'

^Laughter. 'I couldn't help it. It was too perfect.'^

Sesshomaru's yokai nudged me.

~'Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm coming. Keep your pants on.'~ I grumbled at my impatient brother. 'Don't you DARE!' I shot at beast.

^Laughter.^

----

Sesshomaru was FAR more powerful than he let on. The first time he stopped shielding his true power from me I was so overwhelmed I fell into his arms. I knew then, for a fact, he NEVER actually tried to kill me. I, at that time, was a kitten fighting one of those semi-trucks I saw in Kagome's time. How he didn't kill Naraku just by looking at him I didn't know. I figured he had a reason for what he was doing. He always did. Even if it was shitty. Not that I knew, it was all guesswork on my end. I didn't want to destroy our new truce by asking questions.

Not only did he have more power than one being should ever have (he wasn't half fully matured yet either) he stored what he couldn't suppress in mokomoko. That furry bastard had a mind of its own. Smacking it also seemed to cause its master pain. Sesshomaru kept us separated.

My brother was irritated when I came back from my bath covered in blood. He became even more so when he realized the injuries were self-inflicted.

"It's not like I meant to!" Normally, I'd use the mind speak but I didn't want beast getting anywhere near fluffy so I resorted to speaking aloud.

~'Nevertheless you will need to be cleaned up. And, we do not have enough clean water to do so.'~

"So? I'll go get more. It's not a big deal."

~'You are NOT going out like that.'~

"What? Why?" I asked, exasperated and irritated.

He gave me a flat look and I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, my blood would attract things but..."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Fine, what do you propose?" I knew there was no way in hell he'd ever volunteer to get water. And Rin was never allowed to go anywhere alone.

~'Have him lick it up. It's obviously what he wants.'~ Rin chimed in.

^'Yeah! That's a good idea!'^

"W-what?" My head whipped back and forth between the two. My eyes widened when I realized she wasn't joking.

~'Unless you have a better idea?'~ He blocked all his emotions.

I growled. ~'Every idea is better than that idea!'~

~'We need specific ideas in order to judge them.' /Impatient./ 'It is not as if you can lick your own face.'~ His tongue darted out to moisten his lips.

I whimpered. I really, really wanted that tongue on me. Some parts more than others. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. Then growled when the sharp pain reminded me that was recently broken.

"Rin? Any ideas?" 'Something, anything...'

~'Why? My idea's winning.'~ She giggled.

'Smug little traitor.' I glared at her.

Then I practiced meditation as I was licked clean by family. It would have been a lot easier to focus if it weren't for the little moans that escaped both of us intermittently.

When he was done I needed another "bath" but he demanded I stay and protect Rin while he hunted.

I was upset about this for two reasons: One, I couldn't get my rocks off. Two, I'd have to have my link with him terminated. I was getting used to always having them in my head. We did almost everything together. And I was a little... something after his sealing experience. But, Rin needed sleep and I was hungry. She could stay awake a lot longer than most humans but she was no yokai. 'Neither am I, but...'

I turned to argue but he was gone.

"Fine, be that way." I sulked.

Then I realized I was sulking.

I growled and cleared my sinuses into a rag.

Rin shivered in the corner.

'Why don't we have blankets?' I'd not realized it until now but most beings slept with blankets. Not me, obviously, I usually slept in trees.

She shivered again.

I sighed and wrapped myself around her. I would have given her my robe but then I'd be topless and I wasn't going to show any more skin to my sibling than I had already.

'Why does this feel so right?'

^'Inuyokai usually sleep with their pack in a big dog pile.'^

I sighed. I should know that.

-----

Days, weeks, months... Time ceased to have meaning for me long ago. I should have been paying more attention to the lunar cycle at least but for some reason I felt safe, in this little cave. With my brother, of all people. And his pup. Who was also my pup. I knew they'd leave. That it was all too good to be true. That was the story of my life, it starts getting good, then it ends up worse than before.

'I shouldn't get used to this. But I already am.'

^'Don't worry so much. Everything will work out.'^

I snorted.

The little traitor's fingers started scratching behind one of my ears. She giggled when I leaned into her hand and sighed.

'When did I start letting people touch me? Especially my ears.' ~'All people ever did was pull on them, pinch them, stare at them and make fun of them.'~

Rin's fingers stopped and I realized I was broadcasting again. She hugged me with all her strength and sent love and acceptance through the link. ~'I think your ears are your best feature.'~

"Keh." 'Weird. But also... nice.'

~'I, too, like your ears.'~

"Ack!" I choked. That was more than I could handle. My brain broke and I left to cut the links and clear my head. 'Preferably in nice warm water.'

-----

While scrubbing my body with a sand and herb mixture that cleaned, disinfected and didn't smell fucking awful I took stock of my body. I was physically back to normal. It was hard to judge because I was never exactly well fed but I seemed more muscular. The fucker was still a lot taller than me. I couldn't tell if I grew taller or not. It wasn't much if I did.

It seemed like my yokai and reiki would never be full. I was scared to fully release either of them now. And there always seemed to be room for more.

Sesshomaru was watching- monitoring... hovering. I could sense him by the cave entrance. He didn't attempt to link, 'thank the kami,' but his yokai was hovering.

I smacked his yokai into retreating, again, and tried to relax.

It was back.

Sigh.

Irritated, I linked. ~'What?!'~

~/Worry./~

~'It's not like I haven't been alone before. You KNOW I'm not suicidal anymore. Why are you hovering?'~

~'I have a feeling. /Foreboding./~

I cocked my head. "Hm." I'd spent so long ignoring my danger sense I didn't have one anymore. I nudged beast- who did.

He cocked his head. ~^'There! To the west! Approaching fast!'^~

It was the first time beast had ever used the link, at least, that I've been conscious for. I didn't have time to ponder it before Sesshomaru disappeared.

/Panic./ Both beast's and mine.

'Relax, he probably just went to get Rin.' I told us both. It didn't help the panic.

I could feel Rin and Sesshomaru exit the cave and I linked. I was wary of the approaching threat and didn't want to make myself known when I was so far away from my pack. When I moved to exit the water Sesshomaru screamed- yelled... commanded mentally:

~'STAY IN THE WATER. PUT UP A BARRIER. THE STRONGEST YOU CAN. NOW!'~

I hesitated for almost a full second before Rin wordlessly smacked me into compliance.

I lost my link to Sesshomaru but Rin pulled me into her brain so I could... be there.

~'Oh kami!'~ It was awful. Her vision wasn't normal. I think. I'd never been in another human's head and I'm not a normal human so I had nothing to compare it to. But...

~'Shh!'~

She could see... life. She could see the auras to the west. There was A-Un, a lesser dragon yokai who was intelligent but not enough to change forms or communicate verbally. He was... 'Ugh.' So much information! She instantly knew everything about everything she saw. Everything. Age, lifespan, health, strength: physical, spiritual and mental. Health, mood, temperament, intentions toward anyone it sensed, character, character flaws, needs, desires...

She sensed my distress and looked at the ground. Grass had far less to it and I adjusted as fast as I could. On top of the weird info she couldn't see as clearly as I could. Everything seemed blurry.

She knew everything about what was coming and told Sesshomaru all the relevant information. "Informant. One of your mother's spies. She knows you're looking for dad but not why. She's frustrated and there have been talks of an uprising focusing on your cousin. I can't tell which one. You've been away too long."

"You? And the speculation?"

She returned her attention to the newcomer. "They know I'm with you. They're watching Edo and the taijiya village. They know I'm a miko and wish to test my strength. Use me as a weapon, kidnap other potential miko and monk children and train them to serve her."

He growled. "Her."

"Exactly."

"Inuyasha?"

I didn't know if that was the first time he'd said my name or if it was just hearing him say it now, with our new relationship but it was... amazing.

The emotions Rin was receiving made her smack me. She'd blocked her response and I was very grateful. I honestly didn't want to know and was more than a little mortified.

"They believe him dead." She didn't elaborate but she didn't need to. Her tone said everything. They were happy. Very happy. And if they found out I wasn't it wouldn't be pleasant.

Sesshomaru growled and his yokai flared enough to come into the edge of Rin's vision. She soothed him with her reiki.

She could read him without looking at him but I couldn't understand. She refused to share and refused to look at him when I nudged.

~'If you continue to push I'll kick you out of my head.'~

Rin always seemed wiser than her father-or anyone, everyone, else and now I knew why. I grumbled but understood. 'I wouldn't be surprised if she could see fate's design and being so attuned to Sesshomaru she saw something that I couldn't, or wasn't ready, to know. Either that, or she saw so much the information overload would make my head explode.'

~'Both.'~

I started. I knew I wasn't sharing. 'You can hear me?'

~'You're in my brain. And such a simple creature I know without effort.'~

'I should be offended. But, I don't think you're human. And seeing the part of your brain I can understand, because I know there's more that I can't, I'm not.'

She mentally smiled. ~'I wasn't always like this. Something happened the second time I died. I felt different but I was still... human. Puberty, my heat, set something off.'~

She showed me.

-----

The very second her egg released (I could only understand that thanks to Kagome's books) her brain changed. She was talking with Keade one second and the next she knew only pain. It happened so fast she didn't even stop the word she was speaking at the time. Everything went out of focus and she blinked. Then she saw.

Keade sensed the reiki explosion and assumed the power she possessed made her a miko. Rin figured she did use reiki so she didn't question it.

Sesshomaru was the only one who noticed. She called him father out loud without asking first. He narrowed his eyes and blinked. When she couldn't see him anymore she cried out.

"Tenshi."

-----

~'He unblocked me and we never spoke of it again.'~

She showed me a picture of him when he uttered the word. Most of it was fuzzy, I guessed blocked information. But he was smiling. Widely. Unbridled joy. But, over the top of it was his usual mask. Nothing out of place except the outer corner of his eyes and by so little I wouldn't have noticed except she pointed it out.

"Oh, kami-sama!" That face! His smile! He fucking glowed!

~Smack.~

~'Thanks.'~ I made a serious effort not to focus on my sudden, and quite painful, erection.

~/Amusement./~ She showed me a picture of the time she happened upon Jaken urinating into a bush.

~"AUGH! RIN!"~ 'I swear I'm blind!'

~'Better?'~ She asked with feigned innocence. Her mental laughter was deafening.

~'Take it out of my head! Erase it! Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew...'~

~'Shut up, idiot. I'm sure you'll find future uses for it. (AGH!) And resume control of your barrier. He'll be able to sense us soon and my energy is... distinctive.'~ She looked into the forest to distract me.

I rubbed my eyes (until I realized that was stupid) and did as she commanded.

"Rin." Sesshomaru commanded.

"Ah!" She sent out a burst of purifying energy.

I sent her my confusion.

~'Covering/erasing your scent, yokai... any trace that you exist. That can be purified, anyway.'~

When she could tell that the rider could sense them she moved behind her father and his mokomoko curled around her ankle. The contact looked incidental but she could send, and feel, emotions through it.

'It's more sentient than I thought.'

~'Duh.'~

The closer the pair got the more emotional Rin became. She didn't articulate anything to me but I understood.

~/Protective of me./~

He wished me dead, preferably in a painful manner.

~/Defensive./~

If he had a chance he was to capture her.

~/Rage./~

He was sizing up her father. His mother planned to overthrow him.

Mokomoko twitched minutely. Sesshomaru understood.

Neither gave any indication of what they knew. Their powers were suppressed to almost nothing. Rin's face was a mask of innocence and curiosity. She seemed only excited to see her dragon again. As the threat approached she actually bounced on her toes in excitement.

~'That act won't work much longer.'~

~'Duh.'~ She mentally rolled her eyes.

~'Oh, right. You would know exactly how to act.'~

She wasn't looking at Sesshomaru but I assumed he looked blank and threatening. His mask probably firmly in place.

When they landed Rin cried out in rapture. "A-Un! I missed you!" She made to run to him.

"Rin."

She froze and looked to her father.

~"Argh!"~ I shut my mental eyes. 'Too much.'

~'Gomen. I should have blocked you.'~ She proceeded to do so to the best of her abilities. He looked fuzzy again.

His head inclined slightly to her in reprimand and he returned his gaze to the spy. Who dismounted quickly and clumsily.

She was mentally expatriated at the idiot who was painfully over-acting. She huffed impatiently.

The spy bowed low to his lord. When he came up Sesshomaru inclined his head slightly.

The dragon yokai took the initiative and ran to Rin, who immediately started loving on him.

A-Un was excited to see Rin. Even though she couldn't understand words from him he communicated with her through some sense I didn't possess or understood her responses based on her pets.

She babbled nonsense aloud to disguise their actions and kept an eye on the spy.

When the spy didn't move or say anything Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes slightly.

The spy jumped in actual fear, which amused us all greatly.

"M-My lord!" He bowed again. "I have a message from your honored mother."

When the spy didn't move or elaborate Sesshomaru prompted him. "Indeed."

The spy cleared his throat. "Y-Yes. She bids you return. Talk of a plot has reached her ears."

"Hn."

"Y-Yes. Your cousin is plotting to overthrow you. Reiji-sama believes you weak. The West believes you chase ghosts and since it's been two years since we last heard from you the rumors have grown worrisome over the past year. "

"Why hasn't anyone come to Sesshomaru-sama sooner! A year?" Rin was the picture of innocent indignity.

"W-Well..."

The silence lasted too long.

Faster than Rin could see Sesshomaru removed the spy's arm.

"ARGH!"

When the spy stopped moaning and the bleeding was manageable he looked relieved.

'Probably happy he gets to keep his life.' I mused.

"You may tell Mother this Sesshomaru will return to quash any opposition. Remind my cousin of the last who threatened this Sesshomaru's rule."

The spy winced.

"Rin."

"Yes, Sesshomaru-sama?"

"I will return you. Prepare yourself."

"Yes Sesshomaru-sama!" She dithered between the cave and the dragon.

"You may take the dragon."

The spy looked happy for the briefest moment.

"Thank you Sesshomaru-sama!" Rin was ecstatic.

We all laughed mentally at the spy's crestfallen expression.

Rin ran to the cave pulling A-Un's reigns rambling excitedly about nothing and bemoaning not being able to go with her lord at the same time.

Sesshomaru stared at the spy without blinking. When so much time had passed that his knees started knocking Sesshomaru moved his head the smallest amount possible to indicate the spy could leave.

The spy bowed repeatedly and much lower than when he arrived and bolted as soon as his lord's attention turned to his ward.

Rin monitored the spy's escape and Sesshomaru searched the area for any hidden threat. When he was done Rin checked.

~'Ok.'~

I dropped my barrier and climbed out of the water linking with my brother at the same time. Watching those two was hilarious.

~'A-Un says your mother has no designs on your rule. She's playing to draw you out.'~

~'She's bored.'~ Sesshomaru groaned internally. Just like a teenager.

Both Rin and I smirked but didn't comment.

-----

~'Argh, flying in a barrier is both exhausting and boring.'~ We were close to the taijiya village and I missed my link with my brother.

Rin was chatting with A-Un and mostly ignoring me.

Sesshomaru was flying in the lead. I couldn't see his face, couldn't feel his aura, couldn't be linked to him and I HATED it. I had no idea how I was going to survive while he was gone. 'Don't think about that. Definitely don't analyze why you're feeling that in the first place.' I sighed. 'At least I'll have Rin.'

"How long are you going to be at your..." I frowned when I realized I had no idea what our ancestral home was. "...castle or whatever?" I had to ask aloud. Which was surprisingly annoying.

He shrugged his shoulder.

I was not pleased with the lack of response. I was going to miss the bastard. A lot. I growled at my reaction.

Rin laughed at me. ~'Now who's being the teenager?'~

~'Well, I am one.'~

~'Love sick.'~

I wasn't going to dignify that with a response. Or think about why it felt as if it rang true. Or think about it again. Ever.

Beast was dancing and demanding that I do things that I didn't think I could do while airborne.

I mentally smacked him. And physically adjusted my hakama.

Rin was happier than a human should be. In fact, she was so happy I was worried she would fall off A-Un with her bouncing.

I couldn't take it anymore. I had to ask, ~'How is a human not grossed out about the fact that I want to rut with my brother?'~

~'I'm not human and I was raised by yokai. Duh.'~

That response was upsetting. For some reason I just now realized that they'd been hiding the fact that she wasn't human from me. Even when she called me dad. 'Add the fact that Sesshomaru raised her and not me...' I growled.

"Are you concerned about seeing the rest of your pack?" Sesshomaru didn't fool either of us. He was concerned about me. And he sounded annoyed that he had to speak aloud.

I cocked my head as I thought about it. "Actually, no. I'm excited." The fact that I was surprised showed.

Rin was smirking about something but wouldn't let me in on it.

Right before humans could see our approach Rin flared her reiki and touched Miroku to let them know who we were. No matter how much yokai Sesshomaru suppressed there was no way to mistake him as anything but a dai-yokai.

A bell was ringing and people were shouting. The whole fucking town was gathering by the gate and it had grown more than I thought it would have. There were people everywhere. Some yokai too. Miko and monks were only barely not openly hostile. I watched the pervert physically hit them each with his staff but there were so many beings I couldn't hear anything specific. My ears hurt and we were still so far away Rin was having trouble seeing them.

Rin felt my discomfort. "Why don't you land here. I'll bring your pack to you."

The stench was burning my nose so bad I was getting dizzy. I nodded mentally and peeled off.

~'Keep your barrier up. Even your suppressed yokai will freak everyone out.'~

Sesshomaru slowed when I moved off course.

"Don't worry. He just hasn't adjusted to his new senses. He's overwhelmed." Rin explained.

"Humans." His voice was faint.

I was leaving them more quickly than I would have liked but... ~'Ugh, humans.'~

~'Indeed.'~ Rin said in her Sesshomaru voice. She matched his speaking voice so perfectly I yelped. I could understand it was her (their voices when mentally communicating sounded different, similar- but different, than when they spoke aloud) plus the link's energy left a signature. Plus I wasn't linked with my brother.

I laughed with her.

Until they landed in the village. I whimpered when they were surrounded.

^'Pack in danger. Go to pack.'^

'They're fine. We can feel Rin and she's happy.'

^'Miko and monks. Taijiya. All near mate. Protect mate and pup.'^

'We're not mates. And we both know that Sesshomaru could kill every person in that village before anyone could raise a weapon.' Just because I wanted to fuck him didn't mean I wanted to be with him.

^'Pup too! Spies in village.'^

'Ah, fuck.' ~'Oi, Rin!'~

I was allowed into her brain while she focused on Kirara but moved so she was touching mokomoko.

It took both of us to block me from her senses enough for me to focus.

~'Remind fluffy that there are spies in this village.'~

She communicated my reminder to both my mate- 'ah fuck! I can NOT just call him that!'

^'Yet.'^

~'Yet.'~

Apparently, Rin could hear beast. 'Fantastic.'

...and to Kirara. I always knew that cat was smart but I had no idea just how smart she was. 'Once I can drop my barrier I'm linking with her.'

She promptly ran to her mistress and nudged her to Rin.

'Seriously, how did I miss this?'

~'Don't feel bad. Those beads really fucked with you. It hurt to look at you. I would have removed them as soon as I changed but I didn't know how and then Kagome-sama came...'~ She sensed my discomfort at the topic and dropped it.

Rin was friends with all the teens and children. The holy people were also welcoming her. They were all checking her aura and saying how strong she was.

'Ha! They have no clue!'

~'I am strong with what I'm not suppressing. Look.'~

There was nothing to say. Rin could see total energy potential and the others were... ants.

Sango's brats jumped on her. "RIN-CHAN!"

'Ow, fuck. They're loud even to you.'

~'Look at the youngest. His name is Ken-kun.'~

'Holy shit!' He was, or would be, more powerful than the entire town combined.

~'He's the one you healed.'~

There were two reiki signatures in his aura. One was Miroku's and the other was...'mine? How?'

~'How do you think?'~

I had no idea. But Rin was scanning the crowd for the spies and I left her brain to avoid a headache.

~'Found them. We're almost done and then we can bring your pack to you.'~

I was adjusting my senses so I didn't worry about what they were doing. Between the two of them they had it handled.

Screaming.

My head snapped up and I listened to the link. Rin was ok and Sesshomaru wouldn't scream like that...

~'Both spies are gone.'~

I slipped into Rin's head in time to see the villagers scattering. Weapons lay forgotten on the ground, the holy people were shaking, pups- children screaming and tripping as they ran, Sango holding her head in her hands and Miroku saying a prayer.

I had her look at the carnage. There were two headless bodies on the ground and two heads with surprised expressions. 'How did he behead them without any blood?'

~'He used his poison to cauterize as he cut.'~

'Cool. Why is everyone freaking out?'

~'Sometimes father has too much fun when there's an audience.'~

She replayed the scene for me. Seeing what she saw under what everyone else saw together was strange but didn't distract from the theatrics.

I was laughing. He never broke character outwardly but his inner smile, while twisted and terrifying, showed how much he was enjoying himself. 'His name really does suit him doesn't it?'

~'Indeed.'~ She mimicked Sesshomaru's... mind voice.

She laughed aloud at my surprise. Then she froze. It looked to others she was laughing because one of the villagers dropped the second spy's head.

"Ooooh..." I winced. ~'BAD timing.'~

She looked around like she didn't understand why everyone was staring at her. "What? A-Un was chasing their tail! Did anyone else..." She trailed off and appeared to become upset that she didn't understand. It was good cover, A-Un was taking themselves to the stables and no one had been watching them.

People shook their heads and moved on. I felt the tension leave Sesshomaru with a breath and felt him warn her through mokomoko. Everyone knew Sesshomaru's reputation as a cold hearted psychopath (not exactly un-true either...) and it wouldn't do to have Rin appear twisted.

Amazingly she wasn't either. She didn't take pleasure in killing or death but no amount of gore would phase her. I wondered how that happened. 'How did you die twice, grow up with Sesshomaru and still remain so pure?'

She mentally shrugged. ~'It's all in how you look at things.'~ She showed me her feelings as the spies were killed. They were a threat to her pack. Evil. Sesshomaru was happy disposing of them. She was happy he was happy.

'Strange... pragmatic.'

She picked the definition out of my brain and silently agreed. ~'You know, I always knew you were smart.'~

'How? I was a moron the whole time I was with you. And don't get me started on the whole Naraku debacle.'

~'Nah, the beads just made it hard to think and on top of that you were acting. Once you got over Kagome-sama the first time and accepted village life your mask slipped; not much, but enough for your pack to notice. Kirara-chan told me how you were always reading Kagome-sama's books when everyone else was asleep before and after she left. Plus, after the change, I could see it. Yokai are smarter than humans anyway.'~

'Really?'

~'Yeah, humans are just more adaptable and creative. Remembering my old brain and seeing yours and Father's is really cool. You have the best of both species. It's fun seeing how you look at things. I see, Father thinks and you solve.'~

"Keh." I folded my arms into my sleeves.

~'Complements still make you feel weird.'~

I didn't need to respond.

She understood what I didn't say. ~'Father didn't mean it you know. Saying all those things.'~

I snorted.

~'He made a lot of mistakes before I changed. Hell, he still makes mistakes all the time. He's so YOUNG, you know?'~

'You realize you're, like, fourteen in human years... and actual years.'

The last of the villagers had left Sango and Miroku alone with my family- pack. I pondered the difference. 'Wait, Rin and Sesshomaru are family and pack and my friends are just pack. How...?'

~'Hanyou thing.'~ Rin explained. ~'Well, I see it the same way so maybe we just can't fully comprehend the inu-yokai pack structure?'~

Sango and Miroku were nervous around my mate 'Gah! Not yet! ... Wait, yet? FUCK!' I groaned and returned my attention to my pack, ignoring the reactions of beast and Rin. The couple's skittishness was funny. I wished I was in Sesshomaru's head. 'I bet he's preening.' I knew he wouldn't hurt them and they were pack.

Sango looked around and whispered to him, "Did you find him?"

Miroku leaned in to hear the answer.

"I made a new friend but he's scared of the village. Do you want to come see?" Rin chirped.

The couple's eyes lit up but they were trying not to hope. Sesshomaru gave nothing away. "You will prepare a hut for Rin and her friend (his lip curled around the word like he found it distasteful) away from the others."

Before I could think Rin mentally explained the word offended him- not me. He wanted to say dad but couldn't. Even if they were pack he didn't let them see past the mask.

'Why?'

~'It's too complicated for me to explain. Ask him.'~

I snorted. Nothing was too complicated for her. 'Liar.'

Sango was village headman. It was weird because she was a woman, wife and mother but it was somehow right. She'd always been ahead of her time and Kagome made it worse- better. Every villager was happy with it too. Everyone was equal there. There were even yokai that were treated just like other humans.

~'She had a lot of problems at first. Men didn't like the change. The ones who couldn't accept were run off and most of the village started out with abused and/or widowed women. The first rapist was brutalized by his victim. When she couldn't hit any more other women took over. When he was near death he was castrated, painfully. It was so brutal a lot of men left and word spread. Equal amounts of couples and women flooded in. Most of the husbands who came got a lot of shit from their villages for treating their women like equals and were happy to be in a place where they were welcome.'~ Rin was bursting with pride through the whole story.

So was I- when I wasn't wincing at the idea of painful castration.

I was so busy listening that I hadn't noticed they were already coming my way.

When I smelled them I left Rin's head to link with the houshi. When he felt me he sobbed and fell to his knees.

~"Inuyasha."~ He said my name mentally and aloud in between gasps for air.

I winced at his emotions. They were stronger than Rin's and Sesshomaru's. ~'Fuck man. If I knew you were going to cry I would have-'~

Rin mentally smacked me. ~'He's human. And they missed you.'~ She said it to both of us but only sent me the warning. They may be pack but they weren't family. She was human.

Beast wanted to go to his pack. I quieted him and reminded him they were coming to us.

"What? Where? ... What?" I heard Sango ask.

~"Can't you hear him?"~ Miroku was overwhelmed and confused.

~"They can't. It's a reiki connection. It's hard to explain. Now c'mon, don't you want to see him?"~ Rin intervened.

~'Yeah, get over here already. I'm tired of sitting in a bubble.'~ I sent to both. ~'Ask my mate when I can drop this fucking thing.'~ I sent to Rin.

~'You're doing it again, calling Father mate.'~

"Argh!" I was irritated with myself. Then a thought occurred to me. ~'He better... I mean... He...'~ I whimpered. ~'He does want me as a mate right? Not just a lay?'~ I didn't know why but I wanted, no, NEEDED him to think of me in that way. Even if I wasn't sure I trusted him, or even wanted him as my mate.

~'Insecurity doesn't suit you.'~ Rin blocked all her emotions.

I was confused but still needed an answer. ~'Don't fuck with me Rin!'~

~"What's wrong Inuyasha?"~ Miroku didn't have the hang of mental speaking. I could hear him in stereo.

Which meant Sesshomaru could hear my whimpering.

~"RIN!"~ 'Could this be any more embarrassing?'

~'Relax. You have nothing to worry about. Drop the barrier and see for yourself. He's all worked up.'~

"FINALLY!" Linking with Sesshomaru was a huge relief for both of us. We reveled in each other until Rin reminded us we weren't alone.

~'You realize Miroku-sama is getting all your emotions too, right? I mean, I don't mind but...'~

~"Gah!"~

~'Eloquent as always little brother.'~ He was amused and embarrassed.

~"Ugh, how do you all deal with this?"~ Miroku was getting a headache and luckily it seemed he couldn't accurately process emotions- yet.

At least he wasn't grossed out if he could.

"Deal with what? What's going on? Where's Inuyasha? Why are you holding your head? What's that aura up ahead?"

~'Will someone tell Sango to shut the fuck up? I forgot how fucking loud she is.'~ I also didn't like hearing her worry and not being able to link with her.

~"They're talking in my head. And I can feel all their emotions. And Inuyasha says to speak more quietly. His new senses are quite acute."~

~'Why does everyone feel the need to nice up my language? Hell, if I said it that way no one would believe it's me.'~

Rin laughed out loud with Miroku. Sesshomaru laughed mentally just for Rin and I. I was proud I was able to distinguish who was talking to who. Or he just made it impossible to overlook. Both members of my family had much better control over the link than me.

"What? What's funny?" Sango sounded annoyed. Which was better than worried.

~"Our friend has a way with words."~ Miroku was purposefully pissing Sango off, and we all felt it.

"Indeed. He has increased Rin's vocabulary in unbecoming ways." ~/Pride./~

~'Why are you proud of that?'~ I directed at my mate- brother- half brother 'FUCK!'.

~'It amuses him when I swear.'~ Rin was proud of that. And apparently she heard me.

~'Aw, fuck. I'm never going to get the hang of this link and I'm the one who does it.'~

~'Control never has been your forte.'~ Rin and Sesshomaru said at the exact same time in the exact same tone. And they were both amused.

Miroku laughed aloud.

"What? What's funny?" Sango sounded exasperated.

~'I can't tell her Sesshomaru-sama has a sense of humor. What if he hears me and he doesn't and that was just a coincidence?'~

~'It pleases this Sesshomaru that you are respectful even in your thoughts.'~

I could see them clearly now. They were still a fair distance away. Sesshomaru was in front and he was straining to contain his mirth at Miroku's mortification. Rin had to stop walking she was laughing so hard.

I bounded up to them while laughing. "Glad I'm not the only one who can't work the link."

My friends were startled by my sudden appearance. Which was weird because I was actually moving rather slowly. ~'Kami, humans are slow.'~

I felt no pain seeing them again. I didn't even feel pain thinking about Kagome or Kikyo. Guilt maybe. My emotions were different. What I felt before my heat and what I felt after was different. It was like I didn't have human emotions anymore. At least, not human emotional reactions. Somehow I was both more emotional and less emotional at the same time. 'So fucking weird.'

Watching them react to me was like watching what Kagome called slow motion. I had noticed that Miroku's responses through the link were a little off compared to my family's but this was...

~'Indeed. You'll need to adjust while you're staying here. Here:'~ He showed me how he interacted with humans.

It was like setting a mode in my brain. Human mode. ~'Uncomfortable.'~

~'You get used to it.'~ Rin was sympathetic. Her brain wasn't as fast as mine and mine, apparently, wasn't as fast as my mate's but we were so much faster than humans that it was painful.

~'How the hell did I ever fight demons? How the hell do humans fight demons? And how was Miroku even hearing us through the link?'~

Sango and Miroku were over their surprise and were adjusting to my new appearance.

~'Their brains are faster than they realize. It's their reaction and comprehension that's slow. You were naturally adjusting the link for him.'~ Rin elaborated.

~'That makes no sense. How was he laughing in tune to the link?'~

Both members of my family cocked their heads at that. ~'He wasn't.'~ They said simultaneously.

'Ha! They both picked up my head tilt.' ~'Then how...?'~

Rin tried but couldn't enter my brain. ~'I don't know.'~

They were both insanely curious.

~'Dai-yokai and I exist on a different level than humans and lesser yokai. So...?'~ Rin started rambling in her head.

Sesshomaru's thoughts turned inward as well. He was excited to have a new puzzle.

~'Wait! Level! That's it!'~ I saw it then, with Rin's help. My brain saw different... planes... for lack of a better term. Like floors of a skyscraper. I had access to each one but the access was more limited the further up I... saw. Sort of. The levels could merge and the level didn't necessarily indicate superiority. I briefly examined each one. I saw there were more but I couldn't comprehend them because I'd never met- been linked- entered brains... hm, there was different access based on that as well. I couldn't enter any fully because I was linked. There wasn't a hanyou plane though. There was a basic plateau outside of the... skyscraper. It allowed the common traits- no, that's not quite right. Common... abilities? Meh, to co-exist in harmony in my head and be sent out logically to the others. There was another plateau above the one we were currently in. I couldn't figure out how to get there though.

Something started pulling on me...

"Urgh." I blinked back to- out of my brain.

I was in Sesshomaru's arms and he was kneeling on the ground. Sango and Miroku were hovering above me. Scent told me that, among a large amount of other things that my brain kept track of but considered irrelevant.

"I TOLD you he was fine!" Rin.

'Hearing is back.'

"I was so worried!" Sango.

'Ah, THERE'S sight.' Blink. 'Sango and Miroku look SO much older!'

Then the links unlocked. ~"Urgh."~ 'Too much...'

~/Worry./~ Sesshomaru most, Miroku second and Rin only a trace.

~'You collapsed when I was helping you but then I was locked out. Then Father freaked. I TOLD them you were fine but...'~ Rin. ~'IDIOT!'~ Sesshomaru. I knew he didn't mean it. He was franticly searching me physically, mentally and my energies. ~'Mate injured?'~ Sesshomaru's beast, Fluffy. 'Well, guess that answers my question.' I didn't have the capacity to think on it further. "Are you ok? What happened?" Sango. ~"What happened? I saw something but..."~ Miroku. This all happened at the same time. I understood it all even though the others couldn't understand what the others communicated.

My brain was... expanded? 'Every time I think shit can't get stranger is does.' It was painfully easy to control everything now.

My face lit up. Fluffy called me mate! I mentally stopped myself from being too happy. At Rin I said: ~'Sorry. Thanks for the help. I don't understand all the details but I can explore later.'~

To Sesshomaru: ~'I'm fine. I just figured out my brain. Sorta.'~

Next, to Miroku: ~'Sorry I pulled you into that. I didn't mean to. Entering someone's brain is... instant headache.'~

"I'm fine Sango. I'm just not used to my brain." 'That sounded strange.' I wanted to do this all at the same time so no member of my pack had to wait but I couldn't. There was some lag.

~"Unn!"~ Rin was in pain.

Sesshomaru and my attention flew to her. I could see what was wrong. She just looked at me and seeing everything the way she did... there was too much to process.

~"It's ok, she's just got a headache."~ Only Sesshomaru received: ~'Tenshi thing. Her brain is...'~ There was no word to describe it but he understood.

"WHAT IS GOING ON?!" Sango had snapped.

Sesshomau released me and I moved at human speed away from him. "Sorry."

She threw herself at me and sobbed until I was uncomfortably soaked. My nose adjusted quickly. It was still awkward for me to have physical contact and I did my best not to throw her off. I patted her back twice with one hand and waited.

^'You can comfort her better than that.'^

'Shaddup. Where have you been, anyway?'

^'You were doing fine on your own until now. Comfort her and scent her.'^

'I am NOT scenting her.'

^'But she's the alpha bitch-'^

'Who is mated to my beta.'

^'Scent him too.'^

'Urgh.' Apparently I needed to teach beast about humans.

Once she was done she held me at arm's length and studied my face. I don't know what she saw but I watched her fist come up to hit my jaw.

I allowed it. She seemed like she needed it.

Contact. "Fuck! Sango! What the fuck?!" She had a strong right hook. I rubbed and stretched my jaw.

"Asshole!" She was crying again. "Do you have ANY idea how worried we were?! And you just run up to us laughing?!" She raised her hand to punch me again but I caught it.

My family, pack and I flinched at the memory of how I was when Rin found me.

Miroku caught the mental picture Rin had of Sesshomaru taking me to get cleaned up. It was brutal. I was entirely tight, sickly, dirty, bloody skin over bone. My face was contorted in pain even though I was unconscious and the circles under my eyes looked darker than a tanuki's markings. My stomach was distended from starvation. I didn't know if it looked worse because I was human or not. If I'd been hanyou my hair still would have been black with all the dirt and dried blood...

~'She shouldn't have seen me like that.'~

~'I... I couldn't remove your hakama. Seeing your face was bad but your chest... I couldn't see anything else.'~ Sesshomaru felt so much pain and guilt that tears came to my eyes.

He only sent all that to me but my reaction leaked to Rin and Miroku. Combined with Rin's and Miroku's emotions at the memory they both started crying.

Everything was compounding as each person's sorrow fed the others'. I cut every emotional link.

Miroku pulled Sango to his chest and cried into her hair.

"What?" Sango tried to pull away but her husband couldn't let her go.

"It was bad Sango."

Rin tackled me into Sesshomaru and hugged us both. She wiped her eyes and composed herself quickly. ~'I was so happy that you lived. When I realized it was you I shoved as much reiki into you as fast as I could.'~ "I honestly thought you were dead when I found you."

I didn't tell her that I probably was.

____

Chapter notes:

You know, because his heart wasn't beating. Dead, not brain dead. Although...

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Thank you:

naturechild02 on DA who gave me the idea to change the formatting to make mind-speak more noticeable. You can find her on twitter: @authormkrepps

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Editing notes:

Self Edited 2/6/16.
Notes: Changed formatting per request. That was a giant pain in the ass but I think it was worth it. Also adjusted wording, sentence structure and Inuyasha's feelings toward his brother.

Self Edited on Paper 2/19/16:
Notes: This chapter was a chore. I added a lot of stuff. Next time I do editing it'll probably get expanded again.

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Disclaimer:

I don't own anything. Well, actually I own a lot of shit. Some of it is pretty cool. All of it is worth next to nothing. I really don't own anything that is in the Inuyasha universe. I kinda own this plot and all OC that come with it. No profit is made from this little gem. But, due to the nature of bi-polar I probably won't finish it. So... yeah. I don't care if you want to finish it if I haven't updated in over a year.

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Other notes:

If anyone knows of a pdf site I can upload this story to I can add color coding to further help with any confusion about who's speaking please msg me.
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