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Red Lotus	By : Maddiesan Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Kagome > Sessh?maru/Kagome Views: 20072 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 7
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 33
- 34
A/N: Hi guys! Sorry, I went on a mini vacation of wild camping, and I came back a little under the weather, but I'm a lot better now. Updates are resuming!
Red Lotus
Chapter 34: The Propinquity
It did not make any sense.
How could his mating mark heal her cancer, bring her back into shape but she was here, in his arms, dying. A sense of panic traveled through him as he wondered if he had known enough about mating to do what he had done. He did not think she should get sick again. He did not think she could die. Well, she could die from an injury, a pierced heart, or old age - but not from a simple disease. Then again, he did not have the first clue about the ailment that was currently wrecking her body. Whatever it was, it was keeping her fever quite high. He had done his best to keep her body temperature down but it had not done much. Now he was worried about her, and he was concerned about the child.
If she was this sick - it could not be good for either of them.
And he had no knowledge. There was nothing he could do.
There was one thing. And he had done it - but all he could do now was wait.
He could not take Kagome to a normal hospital - he had already decided that it was out of the question. The echo had already been pushing it but now they could not risk anyone finding out the true nature of their child. If they did too many tests, they might find out more than they had to - and he could not risk it. Instead, he had decided to contact Totosai. The old man had been around long enough and he kept quite a few contacts over the years. It was Sesshomaru's hope that either a human with youkai knowledge or a youkai could provide some help to Kagome. He might have only became a banker but he was certain that other youkais managed to do slightly better. Although, it was difficult to hide one identity while in the spotlight and while keeping records about one's identity. Regardless, he had realized it was worth a shot.
The old man said he would see what he could do. It was not like all the youkais had settled down in Japan or even near him. Sesshomaru had given him his address, telling him to send over whoever he could find. He would take anything at this point.
He retrieve a damp cloth from a bucket of water and he squeezed out the excess water before putting it flat across Kagome's forehead. They were now in the living room and she was laying across his lap. There was a pillow between her head and his legs which had been his only option to keep her somewhat comfortable. He had dressed her as lightly as possible and kept her forehead as cold as he could. He felt her shiver as the wet cloth was pressed to her skin and he knew what was coming; she would say that she was cold. Despite how burning hot her flesh was, she was constantly cold.
"Sess-"
"I am aware that you are cold," he replied as he kept on holding the cloth to her forehead.
She meant to grunt but the sound never made it past her lips. Kagome was freezing to death and she was awfully dizzy. It was difficult for her to remain awake for extended periods of time which frustrated her. To top it all off, forming coherent thoughts was a difficult task for her at the moment. It meant that she could not ask him all the questions she had. She wanted to know if she was going to be okay, she wanted to know if her daughter was going to be okay. Most of all, she wanted to know how it was possible for her to be this sick all of the sudden. He had healed her from cancer - how could she possibly be falling prey to a cold? It made no sense.
One of his clawed hands was playing through her sweaty, damped hair, trying to bring her comfort. He had seen it be done and she had done it herself in the past. There were no words he could say to comfort her, he had no words he could say that would take all of this away. All he knew was that she could not die. He would not let it happen. He was not quite sure how he was going to stop it yet, but he would not let it happen. It was terrifying that he required her to be alive but he did not have time to dwell upon those matters right now. He had more important things on his mind.
He would worry about this startling discovery later.
Once there was a doctor here and once he knew what was happening to her.
Perhaps it would be best if he attempted to contact Totosai.
No.
He could not.
He recognized this emotion - though it was not one he had quite experienced himself before. He had seen it in others but he had never felt the need to experience it. Desperation. It was ugly and he always thought desperate people had a foul smell to their natural odor. He hated it. But it was where he found himself at the moment. He was desperate for a solution. When he had first saved her from the brink of death, he had not been desperate to do so. He had done it because it was a way to honour what he had promised to his little brother and it was a way to thank Kagome for all that she had done for everyone. She deserved to live an actual life, free of all the pain. This time, it was different. If he could mate her - simply to save her - he would.
He would save her because he wanted her here.
And now, she was slipping from him.
A shift in her position brought him out of his thoughts. Her fingers lingered on his skin, her weak fingers trying to grab his wrist. He thought she might try to speak again but she did not. Instead, she simply tried to hold his hand. Since he had a better control of his motor skills than she did, he helped the process along by intertwining their fingers. He rested their hands on her stomach and watched her face for any sign of movements - but there was nothing.
She had not survived cancer to die of a cold. And she had not survive all this to take her child down with her. She wished she knew how to help herself but she did not. She had a power hidden inside of her and she knew nothing about using it. She could not help herself, she could not help Sesshomaru and she could not help her child. All she could do was take some comfort in the fact that he had not left her side. She had never seen him like this. Even when she was going through recovery of her cancer, he had kept a distance between them. Now, every time she opened her eyes, he was right there. Sometimes she would wake up on the couch and other times she would wake up in the bath. But Sesshomaru was always there, holding her.
He was going to crush her poor little heart. Then again, he had surprised her a lot lately.
There was more hope than she initially thought.
Suddenly, Sesshomaru's hand stiffened and it forced her to open one eye. She could see his face, though it was blurry but she assumed it was due to her fever. He looked concerned while his nose twitched as he stared at the door. The door.
Sesshomaru sensed the presence before the individual was even in front of the door. It had been a while since he had been able to feel the presence of a youkai. They all hide it in fear that some could still sense them and would reveal their identity. Kagome was not the only one left who had miko blood in her. Although, she was probably the only one who actually knew she had the powers and was familiar with youkais but still. They all refused to take any chances. If this individual was revealing himself it was to alert Sesshomaru of his presence. It also meant that Totosai had found someone to help them. Sesshomaru could guess it had more to do with helping Kagome than helping him. Although he held a certain level of respect for Totosai, they did not always arbor the best relationship.
Kagome on the other hand - she had helped everyone that came across her path.
"Come in," he simply voiced out as he felt the presence linger near the door.
He did not want to get up and most of all, he did not wish to move Kagome. She was semi stable and she appeared to be somewhat comfortable. The last thing he wanted to do was disturb her.
It took a moment, but the handle finally turned. The door slowly opened and a man with red hair stepped in. However, as he walked inside his fiery mane slowly turned black and Sesshomaru assumed he slipped his facade back on now that his presence had been noted. He closed the door behind himself and then, walked to where Sesshomaru and Kagome were. He offered a quick bow and it was then that Sesshomaru realized that the other youkai had probably heard about him, hence the show of respect. It had been a long time since he interacted with another youkai - especially one that knew of him. He felt a pride fill his chest but he knew it was not a feeling he could get used to - in this world he was no longer someone important. Until the world spun and switched again, he was a nobody.
"Lord Sesshomaru," the other youkai said as he stood back straight.
"You may sit," Sesshomaru said as he gestured to a chair.
The youkai nodded and took a seat. "I am Aiko."
Sesshomaru nodded back. "And what is your expertise?"
"I am familiar with medicine, especially concerning youkais." Although as he was able to see now, the daiyoukai's mate was not youkai - she was a miko. Although he probably had more knowledge about her than a regular doctor he was not an expert. He had been given very few information on the phone but once he had heard who was in need of help, he had rushed over. He had always remained in Japan and had managed to make a quiet life for himself. He probably interacted with more youkais than most considering his knowledge but, still, he mostly dealt with humans. It was the way the world operated now.
"What about Mikos?"
"It is limited."
Why had Totosai sent him someone who could not help Kagome? He was fine, he did not need a doctor. Perhaps the old man had reached an age where his hearing was not up to the task anymore and he had been confused.
"I do not believe you can help me," he said as he gestured to Kagome.
"I can try."
Well, it was not exactly what he had in mind but it was better than all of the options he currently had. He finally nodded as he reluctantly let go of Kagome's hand as to facilitate the other man's task. Still, he kept her close to his own body, as though that was doing something to protect her. It was not, and he knew. But his behavior was being quite irrational at the moment. He would focus on that later as well.
As Aiko rose back to his feet and finally stood in front of them, he was forced to arch an eyebrow as he realized an important detail that he had missed before. "She is pupped?"
Sesshomaru nodded.
"How far along is she?"
Why - why was he concerning himself with the pregnancy?
"Hard to say." He knew the human weeks but his child was no human so it did not help anybody. "She moves."
He nodded. "So she's not that far from the due date."
Not far? So he was not skilled in Mikos but he did possess some kind of informations regarding hanyous. Then again, it should not surprise him since pure breed were probably rare nowadays. Then again, he did not expect a lot of people to produce hanyous considering how risky it was and how much harder it was to hide them. It was easy to mask pointy ears, but dog ears? It was a whole other matter. The hanyou form was always a little trickier.
"She's not sick," Aiko finally said as he bent down to look at Kagome.
He removed the cloth from her forehead and press the back of his hand to it. She was warm there was no doubt about it but it was a normal reaction.
Sesshomaru lips turned white as he pressed them together. She was not sick? Either he was foolish idiot or he was blind. Kagome was clearly sick or else she would not be laying on top of him, covered in her own sweat. He knew he said he did not know much about mikos but now it appeared that he actually knew nothing at all.
"I am fairly convinced that she is sick."
Aiko shook his head. "The fever is just a reaction."
"A reaction to what?"
"The baby." He had dealt with his amount of hanyous. They were not frequently roaming the streets but they were presents. Some youkais gave in, some trusted humans and - some were accidents that had to be taken care of rapidly. There were also hanyous that mated with full blooded youkais which still resulted in hanyous. Whatever the situation, he had seen it before. Hanyous pregnancy had a tendency of being quite difficult, especially if the mother was human. The child sometimes needed more than she could provide considering that she was much weaker than the child. In Kagome's case it was a lot worse - she was not weaker, she was stronger… and she was, well… holy.
"She is sick because of the child?"
He shook his head again. "She's not sick, she is fighting."
"Fighting what?" he asked, his aggravation getting the best out of him. He did not like riddles. He did not enjoy being led around. Kagome was sick and he wanted to know what was wrong with her immediately.
"She's fighting herself," he said as he ran his fingers through his hair. "She has to hold back her powers."
Sesshomaru frowned. "Why?"
"Because, she's a miko and that child has demonic blood. As she developed, she became more and more youkai and her body probably wanted to attack the baby and to defend itself from the demonic energy. But, it's her child. So she's also trying to protect it from herself. If she doesn't contain her powers, she might purify it."
"She would kill the child?"
Kagome had decided to live for their child and though he did not agree that it should be her sole purpose for living, he knew it was getting her in the right direction. She was slowly gaining her confidence and her attitude back. She could not lose their child and worst of all, she could not be the reason they lost the child. He had grown attached to it despite the fact that it was growing inside of her and that he could not have a direct contact with it. Regardless, he knew that deaths and miscarriages were part of life. He could pull through it - he was not certain that she could. Plus he found it absolutely insane that Kagome could be killing her own child. She was clearly born to be a mother and it felt out of character.
"Not exactly. Well, purification could work in two ways. Maybe she would kill the child or - because it is half human and in development, she might simply purifying everything that is youkai about it." This was not the kind of news he enjoyed telling Lord Sesshomaru about. Although he was certain he was not quite the same person now, it was still terrifying to share bad news with him. However, he was quite certain that Sesshomaru preferred honesty over a lie. It was his mate's life and his child's life that were at risk here. He had to tell him everything he knew and all the possible outcomes.
Although he would care for the child regardless of its demonic blood or not, neither of the options sounded good and he knew Kagome would hate herself in both cases. She would not want to destroy what her child was and she would not want to kill it. "Is there a third option? One better than the other two you have offered me?" He did not mean his tone and attitude to come off as though he was threatening him but it could hardly be helped. The topic at hand was rather personal.
Aiko cleared his throat as he felt a certain tension rise in the room. He was going to die here was he not? He could feel Sesshomaru's youki flickering against his skin and it was a less than pleasant sensation. He might not have used his powers in a very long time but Aiko did not doubt that he still knew how to control them and how to make one person suffer.
"We could restrain her powers."
"Restrain her powers?"
"Yes, it would affect her own ability to heal herself and to use - her other mikos skills." He was not quite clear on everything a miko could do. In his centuries as a youkai roaming free, he had made it a point to avoid them. He did not have Sesshomaru's powers and he was not convinced he could win against a powerful miko. He had simply avoided them and lived his own life.
Sesshomaru did not feel comfortable making big decisions in her place. After all, they were her powers. They also helped heal her after he put the mating mark on her. However, he figured she was quite well now, and even if her powers were restrained, she remained mated to him. It should not affect her health - at least no more than this was putting her life and their daughter's life at risk. Still, she was probably not conscious enough at the moment to make this decision. If they did go through with this, it would be on him. He would be making a decision about her life - for her. He did not like that. He would not want her to make a decision for him would he? Then again, doing nothing was almost just as bad.
One thing that did worry him was that the man was not that knowledgeable about mikos. Would he even know how to restraint her powers? And if he did, would he do it properly? After all, two lives were at risk here and he did not want to risk either of them. It had to be safe and it had to be done well.
"Are you certain that this is the only possible course of action?"
Aiko nodded. "She's not sick. I might not know everything about Mikos, but - I know this." He swallowed hard. It was difficult to sound confident when Sesshomaru was staring him down with his amber eyes.
"And how do we proceed about this?"
Aiko felt a sense of relief washing over him. The convincing part was over - now he simply had to deliver. "I don't have anything on me, but I do believe I can bring back something to temporarily restrain her powers. It's a seal - a sutra. It would hold over until she gives birth and then we can remove it."
"And it will not harm her? Or the child?"
"I swear. I wouldn't propose it if it put their lives in danger, I swear."
Sesshomaru drummed his fingers along the arm of the couch. If he said yes, there was no turning back. But how could he say no? Kagome had not been conscious since the other youkai had arrived. She kept drifting in and out of consciousness and he had no control over it. He could not help - he could only watch. Aiko made it sound as though it was easy to remove - if she came back to consciousness and decided that she was against the idea, they could always reverse what they had done. It appeared to be the simplest solution to all of this. Yes. He had to do it.
"Very well. Then retrieve what you need and return here as rapidly as possible." It was not an order, but it sounded like one. Which was rather strange considering that they had not even discussed payments or anything of that type.
"Yes, Lord Sesshomaru."
Aiko scrambled to his feet and rushed out of the door.
Time was of the essence.
-R-
There was a buzzing, a nearly silent noise, deafening her. There was a throbbing in her head, a pounding in her heart and her mouth was pasty. Her eyes were still closed as she dared her tongue to run along the seam of her lips, wetting the dry and cracking membranes. Her eyelids were heavy - much heavier than she ever remembered them being. After an extreme effort from her part, she managed to open her eyes. She was in the bed. There was no longer a clammy feeling to her skin and for the first time, no sweat beads were dripping down the side of her face. Was her fever gone? Had she managed to beat whatever had hailed her? Immediately, her hands went to her stomach and she protectively cradled her bump.
It was then that she realized there were voices. That was the background noise that had stirred her away from her sleep. She grunted as she managed to sit up in the bed, her body feeling like it weighted a million pounds. She threw her legs over the bed, her warm sole hitting the cold ground. She helped herself up and then, she quickly headed for the door. One of the voices belonged to Sesshomaru, there was no doubt about that, but she could not recognize the other one. At first she had assumed that he might have called her mother. After all, she was sick and that was strange considering he had managed to heal her from a cancer. But - the voice was masculine. It could not be her mother. And she knew it was not her brother. Plus she would have recognized his voice.
No, there was a strange man in the apartment.
She hoped to the gods that it was not a doctor. They had already agreed that seeing a doctor was too dangerous now and she did not care how sick she was; she was not putting her child at risk. They might treat it like a circus freak and she would never let that happen. She quietly wrapped her fingers around the handle and slowly opened the door. From where she stood, she could see the both of them sitting on the couch, talking. Seeing Sesshomaru actually interact with someone else - that was not her - was strange. He was not quite the social type.
Unfortunately for her, she did not remain hidden long. As soon as she stepped out of the room, two people turned to look at her as though she had just made the loudest noise they had ever heard. She swallowed hard as she watched Sesshomaru's amber eyes traveled up and down the length of her body. As though he was expected something to be wrong with her. Was she not better? She was walking - she did not have a fever. Why did he expect her to crumble to pieces in front of him? Her heart raced; that was not good.
"How are you feeling?" Sesshomaru finally asked, breaking the silence. Aiko had told him it could take a few hours for the seal to begin functioning and he had been right. Although Sesshomaru was not the biggest fan of socializing, he had asked him to remain until Kagome awoke. After all, he would not know what to do if something went wrong and he did not want the other youkai to run away in case he had done something bad. Apparently, all seemed to be well.
"Better," she said as she slowly closed the distance between them. Her eyes left Sesshomaru's form to focus on the man beside him. No matter how hard she tried to scramble her brain, she could not remember ever meeting him. It always made her be quite careful. Who was he? What was he? And what could she actually say in front of him?
Sesshomaru noticed her inner struggle. "This is Aiko."
"It is a pleasure to meet you," he said with a bow. He was not as familiar with her, though he had heard of the Miko of the Shikon. Regardless, she was Sesshomaru's mate and he would give her nothing but utter respect.
"He is a panther youkai."
Another youkai? Sesshomaru had never spoken of anyone and he never received anyone over. She had simply assumed that he either did not want to socialize or that perhaps he did not know what other youkais roamed the streets of Japan. After all, their disguises were so good that even she had never been able to see through them. She figured it was the same between youkais.
"Nice to meet you," she finally said with a small smile.
"He came here to help with your… affliction." Now was the time to share what he had done. He could only hope that her reaction would be positive.
"What did I have?"
It got tricky there; she still technically had it.
"Your powers were the source of the problem," he clarified.
Her powers? Though Sesshomaru had given her back the gift of life, her powers remained…weak. They barely made an appearance and despite all the time she spent in the feudal era, she did not have a great control over them. How could they be making her sick? They should be healing her.
He did not want to tell her this part - he knew her. She was too far gone into the darkness and she would put too much guilt on herself. But it could not be avoided. "They were clashing with the child's powers." He cleared his throat. "The demonic powers from the child's growing body were interfering with your miko powers."
His words sunk in and slowly, she put the pieces together. "The powers were fighting?" Her throat was clamping up, bile was rising up and suddenly, she felt like her skin became moist again.
"You were winning," he added. "Your powers were overwhelming the child."
Tears puddled in her eyes and she brought a hand to her mouth. "Did- did I hurt her?" All of this was for her child. She was trying so hard to heal faster than she was, she was dedicating her entire self to her daughter and now he was telling her that she had hurt her? She could feel the wobble, the weakness in her eyes as she tried to process what he had just told her. She could see him, like a blur, rushing to her side in case she fell to the ground.
"Kagome, you did not hurt her," he rushed to say as she gently grabbed her arm, helping her to stand. He knew this was to happen once he told her the truth but he also knew there was no honor in lying. He was not about to make up a story as to why they had sealed her powers away and why she had been sick. He would not lie. Plus, if Kagome truly did want to fight and become strong, then she had to learn to deal with the things she disliked. Of course, she was quite emotional when it came to the child. He would have rather it had something to do with someone else but it could not be helped.
"And I stopped? I stopped hurting her?" she asked, staring into his eyes and hoping he had at least one good news for her.
Sesshomaru nodded. "We sealed your powers."
"What?"
This time, Aiko spoke. "It's a small seal on the small o your back," he offered as he walked towards them. "It contains them for the time being. You can remove it anytime, and it won't harm you."
"But it stops me from hurting her?"
He nodded. "You were not hurting her, per say." It was hard to miss the distress in her face and he could see how unpleased Sesshomaru was with the whole situation. If he could help it make it better, he would. After all, the poor girl did not deserve to be so hard on herself. It was hard to predict; Mikos and Youkais pregnancies were quite rare, almost unheard of and it made it difficult to guess what would happen. There were not many records of them. "You were probably simply trying to get rid of her demonic side." It was not a complete lie. It was one of the two possible outcomes.
"But now it won't happen?"
Her child could be anything and she would not mind; she would love it. However, she did not want her to impose or destroy a part of her. She always figured it might be a struggle to have both powers but she wanted her daughter to have a choice. Apparently, she had no miko powers - only youkai ones. And that was okay. She did not want to purify it out of her.
"It will not, we stopped it. The stress from within was too much which caused your fever. Your fever has come down and you are now fine."
She was fine. Her daughter was fine. It had managed to be fixed before she did any damage to her child. Once again, her hands found their way to her stomach and she gently caressed her growing bump. There was nothing she could do at the moment to make up for what had nearly happened but she would fix the situation once her daughter was born. She would be strong for her, she would show her love and kindness. She wanted to crumble to the ground and let the tears flow out of her eyes. She had a hatred for herself burning inside of her chest - but she held all of that back. She had nearly hurt her daughter. She could not be weak. She had to be strong if she wanted her to make it.
Also, though Sesshomaru's mark protected her from ailments, she had to be more careful now. She had none of her powers. They had been drained from her body when she had gotten really sick and she did not know how much they were doing for her recently. Because of that lack of knowledge she had to be more careful than ever.
"I apologize."
Sesshomaru's words pulled her out of her thoughts. "Why do you apologize?" she asked with an arched eyebrow. He had done nothing. If someone had to apologize it was her, not him.
"I made a decision about you without discussing it with you."
"You saved her life. It's what I would have wanted."
Yes, he saved the child's life but he had risked endangering hers. He had saved her and it was not to watch her die.
"I am aware." It helped him make the decision but he was not completely pleased with it.
"I'm sorry I almost hurt her."
He could hear the cracking of her voice, the weak facade that she could barely maintain in place. He shook his head. "You did nothing. I should have known and anticipated this." He was the one who carried the most knowledge. He was foolish to not have considered all the possible options.
"I will leave you my number," Aiko said, breaking up the little conversation. "If anything else happens, you can call me personally," he said as he handed his card to Sesshomaru.
Sesshomaru took it and nodded. "Thank you for your assistance."
"Not a problem." He could tell there was a lot going on between the two of them and he did not want to interrupt it. He casted one last glance in their direction before escorting himself out of the apartment.
Kagome sighed as she stared down at her stomach. It had been one thing after the other without them being able to catch a break. Now, she was powerless in the hopes that it would help her daughter grow. The inside of her mouth still tasted like bile, the left over of the shame she had felt when she learned the truth. All they could do now was wait and hope that - no damage had been done.
She needed to push through, she needed to hold on. Once she would hold her baby girl in her arms, it would be okay. She had to find a way to face this.
As she felt one tear slid down her cheek, she felt a hand wrap around hers; Sesshomaru's.
In the midst of all the pain, of all the panic, she was not alone. Sesshomaru was here for her.
Sesshomaru had taken care of her.
And as she could sense through their bond… he had been worried about her.
In all the darkness, there was always a glimmer of hope.
-R-
- 33
- 34
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Red Lotus