Want To Be Your Slave | By : LordYouko Category: InuYasha > Yaoi - Male/Male > InuYasha/Sessh?maru > InuYasha/Sessh?maru Views: 70996 -:- Recommendations : 6 -:- Currently Reading : 10 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, and I do not make any money from these writings. |
Warnings: This chapter will contain explicit lemon, yaoi, shota, violence,
humiliation, D/s. If you don’t like it, leave.
Epilogue
The journey home was quiet and
swift; Kaede was ordered by Lady Tsukiko to return to the palace. Inu no
Taisho, Tsukiko and Sesshoumaru, along with Inuyasha, made the journey swiftly
in the form of energy spheres. Kanna and Kaede followed on Ah Un.
Sesshoumaru landed in his
chambers and transformed back into his usual self. The battle seemed to have left
no mark on him; he did not seem tired, drained. Instead, his eyes glowed with
more power than before.
Inuyasha had tumbled onto the
carpeted floor when the demon Lord landed. Sesshoumaru didn’t spare him a
glance as he walked leisurely to his favourite arm chair by the fire and sat
down in it.
Inuyasha followed him with his
eyes, feeling strangely panicked and bereft. He tried not to get up, tried not
to move until ordered to do so but in a few seconds, he had stood up and
hastened after his master.
Sesshoumaru was leaning back in
his chair with his eyes closed. The fire gave a warm, serene glow to his
features; he looked contented.
As if his mind wasn’t entirely in
control of his body, Inuyasha felt himself walk towards him and kneel slowly-
first the left knee, then the right- and instead of bowing low and touching
his lips to the ground in front of Sesshoumaru in repentance like he should
have, he felt himself shuffle forward slightly on his knees and circle his arms
around the prince’s ankles. His head bowed until his forehead touched
Sesshoumaru’s boots, his dirty matted white hair covering the demon Lord’s
feet.
Inuyasha waited breathlessly for
his master’s anger, for the prince to kick him away.
Everything was still for a few
moments, except the flickering shadows cast by the burning fire.
And Inuyasha was suddenly lying
flat on his back on the floor, a booted foot pressing down mercilessly on his
throat.
Inuyasha lay there waiting,
looking up at his Master, revelling in this punishment, in the feeling of being
close to his master and of being crushed.
Sesshoumaru also seemed to be
waiting for something. His eyes were trained on the hanyou under his foot but
there was no anger, no emotion in those eyes. They simply watched. Inuyasha
didn’t struggle, didn’t so much as bring his hands to his throat to try and
free himself.
The pressure on his throat
increased and Inuyasha gasped. The hanyou body twitched and writhed. Small
whimpering, pleading sounds escaped Inuyasha but he didn’t struggle. Teary eyes
looked up worshipfully, gratefully at the demon prince
crushing him under his foot; Sesshoumaru-sama had not
kicked him away.
The demon Lord’s eyes changed. He
seemed to have found whatever it was that he’d been watching for.
Sesshoumaru pushed down casually
on the hanyou’s throat. Inuyasha’s eyes closed slowly as he passed out.
___________________________________________________________________________
Inuyasha thought his heart might
beat right out of his chest from fear. The wind played with his hair and the
sun shone warmly on his face but there was nothing his mind registered except
the gaping chasm before his feet. One step and he would fall…
A pleading cry escaped him and
Inuyasha shut his eyes. But that was worse; the deep wide chasm undulated
behind his closed eyes and he swayed dizzily. He heard a few rocks give way
under his feet. He hastily opened his eyes.
He was going to fall.
“Master,” he whimpered.
“What do you see, Inuyasha?”
Sesshoumaru asked calmly, sitting on a rock some distance away from Inuyasha
from the brink of the chasm where he’d ordered Inuyasha to stand.
Inuyasha tried to look, tried to
see what was around him but all he could see was empty space.
“E-emptiness,” answered Inuyasha
shakily, the word reverberating like a death sentence. “I see emptiness.”
Sesshoumaru stepped down
gracefully from his perch, satisfied with the terror he saw in the hanyou’s
eyes.
There were clawed fingers around
his neck and Inuyasha felt the wind on his sensitive skin as his collar was
removed. He shivered; it had been so long since he’d been without a collar. The
emptiness around him came closer, touched his skin, threatened to invade his
insides.
Terrified, he tried to hold on to
the demon lord’s hand but Sesshoumaru stepped back, out of reach. Inuyasha took
a step forward, away from the cliff towards his master-
“Don’t move,” Sesshoumaru ordered
harshly and Inuyasha froze. “You will remain here until I give you permission
to leave. You will not move from this spot till I say you can.”
Panic blossomed in Inuyasha’s
chest as he thought of spending hours in this place without his Master. There
was no living thing in sight.
He wished his Master would chain
him in place or put a leash on him and tie it on the spot. At least then, he would
have some anchor that would not let him fall.
“I – I can’t. Master please I
can’t-“
“You will do it,” Sesshoumaru
stated simply, golden eyes flashing with power boring into the hanyou’s
frightened ones. “You will do it or you will leave. You bear no mark of mine.”
Inuyasha’s eyes were drawn irresistibly, longingly to the black collar in
Sesshoumaru’s hands. “I have no use for a disobedient slave.”
Inuyasha shuddered, waves of fear
rolling off of him. He would do it. He would do it if it killed him.
He would rather fall into the
gorge than disappoint his master.
________________________________________________________________________
The wind rushing against his body
made it hard to breathe. He was falling, falling straight down and the immense
space closed in on him, swallowing him up-
Then Inuyasha blinked and he was
standing on the precipice again. Inuyasha tried to take deep slow breaths but
the came out shuddering and uneven. Silence beat on his ear drums with
insistent pressure.
It was strange, to not hear the
sounds of any birds, animals, demons. The silence was unnatural. Below, in the
valley, there was a lake of some sort, a body of still water that looked like
molten gold in the sunlight. The water winked in the sunlight, blinding anyone
who happened to be looking at it for the moment.
All around, there were immense,
tall green mountains. Inuyasha imagined the pitch darkness under the trees of
the mountains; they grew so densely together, no ray of sunlight would
penetrate under them.
And in between the mountains,
between the sky and the lake below was this vast, terrifying emptiness, a
feeling that there was nothing that tethered Inuyasha to this world, to his
place in the world and that at any moment, the cosmos would win and blow him
away, tear him apart into nothingness…
Inuyasha whimpered and the sound
was muted in the heavy silence of the place.
The guilt and the horror that had
been eating away at his insides since their journey home finally found a home
in the vast emptiness that intensified every feeling,
spread his pain till it filled up every corner of the vast space.
He could feel his heart in his
chest, beating painfully, laborious, every beat
strenuous.
Run, run, ran, ran away…I ran away…I ran…
Thoughts slipped through his
mind, too fast, too vague to catch. Soft, elusive fears that were all the more
dangerous because they couldn’t be confronted,
couldn’t be fought.
He’d run because he didn’t want
to be a burden on his master. He’d been presumptuous enough to think that he
could save his master’s life. But was
that it? Was that the truly the only reason he’d run?
The sun was close to its zenith;
it was almost noon. The severe expanse drawn with rocky lines and illuminated
with the unforgiving sun, allowed for no self-deception. Secrets couldn’t
remain here; there was no darkness for secrets to hide. The sun warmed
everything, even the cold, damp thoughts in Inuyasha’s heart that he never
wanted to see, never wanted to touch.
I am afraid it will all end, Inuyasha realised with startling
clarity. I have never wished for anything
to not end before. Nothing had been worth preserving until Sesshoumaru-sama. And I am afraid it will end because I don’t deserve
this.
I don’t know how to deserve this.
Heat rose off the hard rocks on
the dry hard ground. Inuyasha felt it burning the soles of his bare feet but he
didn’t move. The heat, the burning pain felt good. Inuyasha revelled in the
punishment. If only everything were as simple as that. If only all there was a
punishment for every crime.
But there wasn’t. In his deepest
of hearts, he had committed crimes for which no punishment would suffice except
maybe to lose the thing that meant the most to him. That might be enough. It
was a start.
Sunlight winked off of the pool
of light below, the flash blinding Inuyasha for a moment. And he was back so
many years ago on the street Sesshoumaru-sama had
found him. Everything was so much easier then. It was easier to live, easier to
breathe. There wasn’t this ever oppressive weight of happiness, of having to
endure being happy, of having to strive to deserve being happy.
With the slavers, living on the
streets on nothing but scraps – sometimes nothing at all - degradation and beatings and fear…he didn’t
have to work for those. The slavers were more than happy to give him the
punishment he deserved – needed.
Even in the heat of early
afternoon, Inuyasha shivered, wanting badly to be away from this place, inside,
underneath. But he didn’t move, couldn’t move because Sesshoumaru-sama had ordered that he stay here, like this.
It was too difficult, the most
difficult thing he had ever done being alone with thoughts like this in a place
without walls, without boundaries.
The sun slowly lowered in the
sky, the melancholy light of late afternoon bathing the clearing in orange,
nostalgic colours. Dangerous thoughts came; of Naraku, of the moment when
Sesshoumaru-sama had almost lost, when he’d almost
been the cause of Sesshoumaru-sama’s death-
It wasn’t safe, those thoughts
weren’t safe. He didn’t want to think them. But the sun was beginning to set
and the thoughts came anyway.
Death. His Master’s death.
Hanyou aren’t strangers to death.
They have seen too much of it to be affected by it anymore.
And still-
Blood pounded in Inuyasha’s head,
in his temples, from all the thoughts he wouldn’t let his heart feel.
Without his Master...he wanted to
say he would die, but what if he didn’t? What if he lived? He might become food
to some youkai, if he was lucky. Or another master
might take him.
Inuyasha had never had a master
before Sesshoumaru. In all the years travelling with the slavers, no one had
ever expressed a desire to own the hanyou, even though he was the cheapest
slave they had. The more beautiful ones, the humans, the obedient ones were all
bought one by one. Inuyasha had watched them all find a home.
He had moved on with the slavers.
If Sesshoumaru-sama hadn’t bought him, he knew the
slavers would have soon left him in a forest to be devoured by youkai soon. It didn’t make sense to own merchandise that
they wouldn’t profit from.
Sesshoumaru-sama,
who had rescued him from that life, kind, wonderful Sesshoumaru-sama could have died because…of his
stupidity. He should have listened. The slavers always said he didn’t know when
to keep his mouth shut, didn’t know what was good for him. If he wasn’t such a
coward, he would beg Sesshoumaru-sama’s forgiveness.
If he wasn’t such a coward, he
would have killed himself and saved everyone the trouble.
The cold night came and brought
with it came the cold thoughts.
I want to go home.
Dawn came again, with its pure,
beautiful light and fell on the ugliness that was Inuyasha. Inuyasha felt his
skin crawl with ugliness, with the weight of his weakness, with the dark dirty
secrets laid bare by the pure sun rise and the
deceptive wind.
His eyes burned with all the
tears he’d cried, the skin on his arms and legs was dry; it stretched
uncomfortably. His lips felt thick and alien.
And through it
all, his painfully beating heart. Maybe it would be more merciful on his
poor body to just cut it out and let it rest.
At midnight, Inuyasha thought, I am a slave. I want to be nothing else.
Then why do I always make the same mistake?
The night was quiet and nothing
out of the ordinary. It would have been easier it there had been something
going on outside – a storm, rain, fire - to reflect the turmoil he felt inside.
But there was nothing.
Standing on a cliff at night held
a different kind of terror. There were mountain-shaped gaping holes in the ink
black sky. The millions of stars, strewn everywhere except below him.
If he fell, would he even notice?
Good slaves don’t disobey their master.
Another whimper, swallowed up by
the night breeze.
The night went on forever.
Dawn came.
The day passed. Night came again.
With the dawn’s light creeping
under his feet, Inuyasha wondered when he’d started to crave degradation. He
never had with the slavers. He’d never wanted to be beaten, humiliated, mistreated.
But he wanted it now. He wished
for it, as fiercely as the burning sun beating down on him. In the day, he
itched to go back, away, anywhere but here. In the night, he dreamed of
Sesshoumaru.
With his eyes open, he dreamed of
a booted foot on his throat, of being stuffed with his master’s cock, of being
fucked while he bled and screamed, till his master was satisfied.
For three days and three nights,
Inuyasha stood at the place Sesshoumaru had left him. Innumerable times, he had
waking nightmares, about falling, about his body crashing into those rocks,
about fading into oblivion in the darkness of the abyss.
Not once did the thought of
moving away from the ledge come to mind.
Not once did he notice the golden
eyes watching him steadily from far above.
At the dawn of the fourth day,
when Inuyasha was beginning to feel lightheaded and dizzy because of the lack
of water and food and the unnatural stillness of the place, Sesshoumaru
appeared before him.
“You see freedom,” Sesshoumaru
told him quietly. “If you run away from me, you run towards freedom.”
He walked up beside Inuyasha and
turned to stare at the open valley. “This is freedom.”
Inuyasha followed his gaze. It
was a terrifying place. He wondered what the purpose of such a place was, why
the Lord of the West allowed it to exist.
“Do you want to be free?”
Sesshoumaru asked.
The word sounded like a death
knell and Inuyasha trembled.
Pushed to the limits with hunger
and thirst and fear, Inuyasha’s eyes slowly turned opaque. Thin, weak arms came
up to wrap around his own body and Inuyasha stood
staring at the deep, deep valley; Sesshoumaru-sama
had not permitted him to look away from it.
When he answered, his voice
sounded alien to his ears; raspy and broken. He wished everything about him
wasn’t so ugly. But his master had asked him a question and the words had to be
said.
“I want…to be of use to
Sesshoumaru-sama. Sesshoumaru-sama
must have what he wants. Would it please Sesshoumaru-sama
to set me free? I will be free if Sesshoumaru-sama
wishes it.”
“Bare yourself,” Sesshoumaru ordered and
Inuyasha’s hands obediently went to his clothes, stripping them away
methodically.
The wind beat harshly against his
bare body and Inuyasha stood shivering, eyes haunted.
A large hand pushed him down on
the hard, rocky ground and Inuyasha stumbled to his knees. Brambles and pebbles
scrapped his knees and hands. Inuyasha didn’t even notice.
Sesshoumaru’s weight landed on
his back and Inuyasha gasped. This feeling – warmth and security and safety - it felt like he
could breathe again. Recognition slowly returned to dull eyes.
His trembling arms couldn’t bear
the demon Lord’s weight for long. Inuyasha collapsed on the cold ground. A
large, warm hand landed heavily on his back and Sesshoumaru hiked up the little
ass under him; the hanyou’s thin hips were small enough to fit in the palms of
his hands.
The cool silk of the demon Lord’s
hakama was soft and inviting against the hot, sensitive skin of his ass and
thighs. Inuyasha felt the warmth of the demon Lord’s body radiating into him,
warming him.
“Remember this,” Sesshoumaru said
as he looked down at his massive cock against the small insignificant ass and
thrust deep inside the twitching little opening before him.
Inuyasha had not been prepared;
he hadn’t been taken by his master in days and his master had not used any kind
of lubricant.
Inuyasha screamed, his agony
echoing in the vast valley.
“Remember freedom.”
Sesshoumaru’s voice sounded
harsh, less human. Inuyasha revelled in the sound of it, in his Master’s
cruelty and his punishment. Sesshoumaru pulled in only half-way, half his
length buried in that tight little ass and thrust in forcefully.
“Remember enslavement.”
Inuyasha closed his eyes and
concentrated on breathing, on imprinting the moment on his heart, of being
stretched wide around his master’s girth, impaled and torn open for his
master’s pleasure.
Sesshoumaru looked down at the
weak, sweaty body in front of him. The skin under his palm was thin and dry;
Inuyasha’s spine would break if he applied just a little more pressure with his
hand. His eyes glowed red with pleasure and fury.
Inuyasha’s pupils dilated; he
could feel the insides of his anal muscles tearing. The intruder inside his ass
was growing bigger – thicker and larger. Inuyasha felt his most intimate
muscles twitching helplessly, forced to give way under the irresistible
pressure by the exponentially stronger opponent.
The claws on his back were
sharper and harder. Was it just his imagination or did it feel more like a paw
than a hand?
“Remember who and what you belong
to,” Sesshoumaru commanded and tore into the hanyou anew.
Inuyasha whimpered. That voice - it sounded
gravelly, so deep, it did not seem to belong to this world. The cock inside his
ass pulled back and it felt like his insides were being pulled with it.
Inuyasha moaned, tried to wriggle to get more comfortable. The hand – paw – on
his back pressed down in warning, held him immobile.
It didn’t feel like a fucking
anymore. It felt like his master was stabbing him, stabbing deep inside his
body, reaching into places nobody had a right to except the person to whom the
body belonged.
The tight ring of his anal
muscles quivered around the giant appendage. Inuyasha could swear he felt the
head of that monster cock in his stomach, tearing him up, forcing him to make
place for it where no place should have existed.
The hanyou felt his consciousness
narrow, centre on his ass and the muscles inside it, on the large cock that was
ripping him open from the inside. His cock hardened from pleasure that was not
of sensuous caresses on his skin but of the moments when his Master’s blunt
cockhead breached the inner-most walls that protected him.
His legs gave out under him,
splayed wide helplessly. Terrified, Inuyasha turned his head slightly to look
over his shoulder.
The achingly beautiful face of
Sesshoumaru-sama was transformed into something wild
and predatory, mouth widened in a snarl that showed a row of ruthless teeth
that could tear anything to shreds.
They could tear him to shreds, devour him, Inuyasha
realised; his cock was painfully hard. This…this being fucking him right now,
this monster punishing him, was this the true form of Sesshoumaru-sama?
The demon Lord saw his victim
turn to glance at him. Sesshoumaru lifted his hand up from the hanyou’s back
and slammed it down on his neck, grinding him into the ground. Inuyasha gasped,
his breath knocked out of his lungs.
The cock inside him found
Inuyasha’s prostate and stilled against it. Inuyasha’s back arched in a silent
cry.
What was this feeling…this feeling
of something pressed so intimately against the bundle of nerves that gave him
pleasure? It was against nature, for something to penetrate so deep that it
could rest against that spot inside of him without having to move, without
having to exert any kind of effort at all. Sesshoumaru’s cock pressed casually
against his prostate, as if he had every right to open Inuyasha up this way and
rest inside of him.
Weak hands scrabbled helplessly
on the dry rocky ground. Inuyasha’s body shuddered under the force of pleasure
that threatened to make him fall apart.
Suddenly there was hot breath on
his ears, on his exposed cheek. Inuyasha’s eyes widened. Out of the corner of
his eyes, he could see the glint of razor sharp, ravening teeth.
“I want you like this for the rest
of your life…Inuyasha.”
It was definitely not human, this
voice that sounded like the earth and thunder, settling itself in Inuyasha’s
bones. The hanyou trembled; his eyes flickered red. His own demon was making an
appearance now. On the brink of transformation, Inuyasha distantly thought that
he could not remember a time he hadn’t felt rage fill his entire being when his
demon took over.
But he couldn’t feel it now. The
beast within him was awakened but it was docile, content to be dominated like
this by the stronger male.
The demon Lord moved - a slight, lazy,
grinding movement inside the too full ass. Amused, Sesshoumaru felt the body
under him grow taut; he saw the hanyou cum hard on the dirty ground.
It was a strange sensation, to
feel both himself and his demon half; to feel the presence of his beast and
still be able to think.
Inuyasha’s last thought as
darkness overtook his consciousness was, I can never run away again.
He’d come so hard, he passed out,
Sesshoumaru noted detachedly and pulled out of the tight, hot heat under him.
He allowed the limp body to fall into the puddle of its own cum and sat back
against a rock. Lazily, he spread his legs and gripped his raging erection in
his own hand; the small, thin form of his hanyou was lying between his legs.
Eyes trained on the tortured face in front of him, Sesshoumaru revelled in his
victory, in the breaking of his victim in a way that the hapless boy would
never be whole again.
He stroked the cock in his hand
in firm, languid strokes, savouring the pleasure, the blood pounding behind his
eyes, the scent of the hanyou’s distress, Inuyasha’s
soul at his feet.
He came hard, allowing his cum to
spurt all over his broken little slave.
___________________________________________________________________________
When Inuyasha came to, the first
thing his sleepy mind registered was the soft…something…on which he was
sleeping, the flickering light of the fire and the delicious heat it provided.
The hanyou stirred slowly without
opening his eyes, conscious of every muscle screaming in protest. He felt cosy
and drugged with comfort and pleasure. Sesshoumaru-sama’s
scent was heavy in every breath he took. It was dark outside and he was
entirely too comfortable to move but his mind felt refreshed, like he had slept
soundly for a long time and he couldn’t help opening his eyes.
The arch of his puppy basket was
the first thing he saw.
Wincing, Inuyasha sat up. He was
grateful for the closeness to the fire; he was naked under the sheets except
for cold, heavy metal that he could feel around his neck and throat.
Gingerly, he stepped out of the
little basket that was his bed and looked down at himself.
Black, green, blue, brown bruises
littered his body. His knees and elbows were scratched and bloody. Dirt from the
hard, dry ground on which he’d been taken, clung to his body. He was badly in
need of a shower but he didn’t want to take one.
Inuyasha blushed
bright red; his body was still covered in his Master’s dried cum. It had dried
on him, all over his body and face and hair. Inuyasha limped closer to the fire
and revelled in the feeling – the degradation of being covered in another’s
spunk, the honor of being marked by his master, the
safe, secure feeling of being away from the hellish place.
His clothes were draped over the
side of his basket and slowly, careful of the still raw injuries, Inuyasha
dressed himself. The stretch of his skin under the clothes where the dried cum
remained was his secret thrill.
The massive doors to
Sesshoumaru’s chambers opened and the demon Lord walked in calmly.
Inuyasha hastened to kneel and
bow as Sesshoumaru seated himself in his favourite huge arm chair and opened up
the pile of papers he had to look through for the day.
After a few moments, Inuyasha sat
up; the rug under him was soft but there was still a sharp, throbbing pain in
his ass when he tried to sit on it. Unconsciously, Inuyasha’s fingers went to
the metal band around his throat.
“It is your new collar.”
Inuyasha looked up at the sound of
his Master’s voice. Sesshoumaru’s eyes were on the papers he was slowly leafing
through.
Inuyasha moved his head
experimentally. It was heavy; it made itself known with every movement he tried
to make. It took an effort to raise his head up. The collar threatened to bring
his neck low if he did not expend the effort to keep it up.
“Thank you, Master,” Inuyasha
whispered head lowered. He felt content and ecstatic and light and frightened
all at once.
The demon Lord continued his work
without bothering to acknowledge the thanks.
Everything was silent for a while
except the soft sound of the embers in the fire. Inuyasha tried to remain
silent, tried not to bother his Master. There was something he wanted to ask,
needed to ask but he didn’t want to interrupt the demon Lord. Restlessly, he
fidgeted with the hem of his red fire-rat haori.
“Master,” he blurted out finally,
when the question wouldn’t remain in anymore. “M-master is not angry with me?
Master is not going to throw me away…?”
His answer was a boot on his
back. Inuyasha gasped in surprise as he fell forward on his stomach, the demon
Lord’s boot pressing him casually into the floor in punishment.
“Don’t be stupid, puppy,”
Sesshoumaru murmured, not looking up from the sheet of paper in his hand.
Under his boot, Inuyasha turned
to look at him and laughed.
He was still after that, content
to remain on his stomach and idly trace the shadows thrown by the fire while
his master finished his work. The weight on his back was soothing, comforting.
The knowledge that he was being of some slight use to his Master as his
footrest, while he worked, without being a hindrance was a source of joy and
contentment. Inuyasha smiled widely, chin propped up on his one hand while the
other played with strands of the rug.
As for Sesshoumaru, he found the
paperwork was significantly less tedious today with the warm, squirming puppy
under his boot.
___________________________________________________________________________
THE END
A/N: And that’s
the last chapter of this story that I began two and a half years ago.
Thank you so much for your support and encouragement
throughout. Without you, the story would not have reached completion.
I have received some requests for a sequel to this story and
A Man’s Worth. I’m considering writing them.
If I write a sequel to Want To Be
Your Slave, it will be set when Inuyasha is a little older, though not fully
grown. He will still be a slave and a puppy. I know some of you have expressed
a wish to see Sesshoumaru adore him and treat him as an equal but I’d like to
say here that this story is not about love, about wanting to be with someone as
an equal. This story is about people’s need to be a certain kind of person, to
be treated in a certain way and loving another person in just the way that they
are capable of loving. Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru, as I have characterised them
in this story, wouldn’t remain true to themselves if Inuyasha suddenly decided
he wanted adoration and Sesshoumaru decided he wanted to treat his puppy as his
equal.
This story is about being ok with who you are and what you
want and need.
So, what did you think of Inuyasha’s punishment? And do you
want to read a sequel?
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