Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Rise Of The Shikon Miko	By : golden_eyes_hypnotize Category: InuYasha AU/AR > Het - Male/Female Views: 2628 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or the characters herein. I make no money by this writing. This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to real people is all in your head.

Chapter List
- 34
- 35
- 36
A/N: I know things seem dark now, and they’re going to get darker, but there is a reason for it and I hope you stick with me for the ride. Know that I am too much of a romantic to keep them apart forever, but a lot of things have to happen first before that can be. Every day I write I change my mind about the details, but they will get there. Promise. Drop me a line and let me know your thoughts if you like.

On with the show…

………………………….

Chapter 35

It was now two weeks later, the beginning of June, and things at Sesshoumaru’s shiro had fallen back into routine. Kagome would awaken from the assigned spot in the dog pile of Inuyasha and Shiori, usually because Inuyasha was playing curly-straight games with one of her curls. He liked to grab one of the short ones near her face and pull on it just to let go and watch it spring back. That would be enough to sleep through usually, except he also liked to say, “Boing!” when he let go and that tended to wake her consistently. She’d grumble and bury her face deeper in his shoulder until repeated treatments made her resort to zapping him with purity from her fingertip.

Shiori would just smile and shake her head from her spot on his other shoulder and do her best to keep out of blast radius.

Jaken would bring them breakfast on a cart and they would either eat in bed or outside in the courtyard depending on their level of consciousness then they’d pile into the bathrooms and get ready for the day with Shiori combing Kagome’s hair for her because her friend simply didn’t have the energy.

Inuyasha and Shiori would go frolicking in the caves while Kagome trained with Kaede then they’d put themselves back together, clothes and hair disheveled, and meet back up for lunch. Inuyasha and Toga sparred with Kagome, with Inuyasha acting to provoke her temper to get her to practice summoning her emotions to fight. Toga and Izayoi joined the three for dinner most evenings and after dinner the friends cuddled on the couch and watched movies—anything but romances.

They did their best to keep Kagome loved and distracted, but it was obvious she was not well. Even a moment in her own thoughts yielded uncontrollable tears. She felt the most profound sadness over what she had almost had and it haunted her, even leading to occasional sharp pains in her chest that sent her to her knees.

Today, Kagome and the men had just finished training and were walking back in their robes. Upon reaching the courtyard, they saw there was something on the ornately shaped metal table where they sometimes ate their meals. As they got closer, they saw it was a bonsai tree in a lovely green and white lacquered porcelain base with river rocks over the roots. The tree, she wasn’t sure what kind, had tiny flowers on it that smelled sweet and familiar. She looked to Toga.

He understood what she wanted to know. “It is Japanese honeysuckle. I believe it is meant to honor your scent, Kagome.” He picked up the card propped to the back and handed it to her.

She read:

“Mine, took for granted

Hers still though she wishes not

Damned by my own pride

How to tell her all my thoughts?

Strong roots bear invitation.”

Shaking her head in disbelief and sorrow, tears streaming down her face, she looked helplessly into her family’s eyes and whispered, “I can’t…”

……………………………

That night, Kagome had walked in to the room, taken a whole serving dish of chicken marsala that was waiting for them on the cart and locked herself in the second bedroom. She soundproofed the room so they couldn’t hear her painful sobbing. She cried wretched, broken sobs while shoveling in wine-sweetened chicken, nearly choking when she couldn’t swallow as fast as she was putting the food in her mouth. She wanted to die. She was better off before all this happened. Before she had a destiny and before she had a soul mate. When she was just tragic Kagome, cursed but unaware, sometimes making it to work, sometimes feeling so overwhelmed with emptiness that she couldn’t even make it to the bathroom to bathe herself. The pain was still less than now. She wanted to run.

The last thing she wanted to do was face her father again and the next to last thing she wanted to do was have a conversation of any kind with Sesshoumaru. He had betrayed her, but not only that, he was so convinced he was in the right that he hadn’t made a single attempt to correct things in the two months she had stayed with him. Now that he knew she was leaving, he suddenly had a change of heart? No, it was too much. She couldn’t trust him and she wasn’t setting herself up for a hurt like this again.

Every moment she wasn’t distracted by her demon family, she was overwhelmed by thoughts of suicide. She even had a fully formed plan, something she had never done in all her years fighting depression. Every time she had come close in the past, she imagined the gruesome scene of someone finding her rotting corpse, bowel and bladder emptied, perhaps even her cat eating her necrotic flesh since there would be no other source of food for him. That always reached her no matter how dark her mind was and helped her step back from the brink.

But now, having been promised, no, guaranteed—there was even a scroll!—the only thing she had ever wanted in her long, lonely years…love…and having it violated and despoiled just as she finally gave her poor, battered heart to him…she just didn’t care anymore. Death was messy and disgusting but it was bound to happen someday. There was nothing else for it, she had to end this pain and she would the same day she purified her father’s rotten soul from the face of the planet.

She had a plan. She had decided it the same day she had decided to leave Sesshoumaru. It was the only thing keeping her going, otherwise, she would have crumbled long ago. Instead, planning her father’s and her own deaths gave her purpose and helped her get out of bed every day.

She knew no one suspected it, taking her determination as a good sign, and she’d rather have it that way. She had made her decision and did not wish anyone to try and sway her. Her plan was perfect. When she was done they would know without a doubt she was dead but never have to find her broken body.

………………………

She was crying again. He had realized that every time she cried, his chest knotted in unbelievable pain. He was alone in his chambers, hunched over, clasping the area over his heart and breathing heavily. Sometimes it was worse than others. Tonight was particularly painful and for some reason the feeling of dread he had begun feeling the night before Inuyasha told him she was leaving pooled under his skin, weighing him down. As a demon who trusted his instincts, sometimes more than others, he knew some mortal danger was coming for his miko. It had to be the evil hanyou.

Yes, it was true that his instincts had told him all along not to keep secrets from her, no matter the reason, and had pestered him constantly to confess to her, but his pride would not yield. How could he be expected to admit to his chosen that he was sure he would lack all control if he made love to her and would end up mating her instead? He was supposed to be a mature, adult male, not some green youth with his first female. His practiced control was legendary and yet he just knew when he thrust inside her, he would drive his fangs into her neck, drinking her sweet blood and marking her forever as his. And he needed to wait to mate her so she would never feel insecure as his chosen again. But he was losing her over it and it wouldn’t matter if she was a little insecure or not because she didn’t want to be his mate anymore anyway.

How could his core self have led him so astray from his instincts? He had always trusted them and they had never failed him yet when they mattered most, when he found his one, he had told himself he knew what was best for her and kept it a secret. Not only did he betray her trust, but he also had done what he had sworn never to do again and made a decision without consulting her, and about her, no less.

He was no weak pup, but in the weeks since she had dismissed him from her life, he had wept in the privacy of his chambers several times. He knew he could not live his life without her now that he had found her, but it was a very real possibility that she would deny him no matter what he did. He had to try, however. He would try every day for the rest of her life to convince her to listen to him, that he was repentant and that this time he really wouldn’t hurt her again if she gave him a chance.

He had a plan. He had decided it the same day she had decided to leave him. It was the only thing keeping him going, otherwise, he would have crumbled long ago. Instead, planning how he would remind her of her place at his side and showing her the truth of the love for her that he had never bothered to voice gave him purpose and helped him get out of bed every day.

He had foolishly given her time before she left him and had lost that time and that chance with her forever. He had only now and he had managed to keep her in his reach. The odds were against him, but failure was not an option. He had promised to protect her, even from herself, and he would until his last breath.

…………………………………..
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- 36
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Rise Of The Shikon Miko