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The Taste of True Love	By : Chirella Category: InuYasha > General Views: 3893 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
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I don't own Inuyasha...yada yada...
Chapter 4 � After Thoughts
            Sesshoumaru fled to his quarters, locking
himself in. He paced the room in a frustrated attempt to understand what had
happened. Never had he lost such control of himself! What would Rin think in
the morning? Sesshoumaru leaned against the wall and slowly slid down it till
he sat in a motionless heap on the floor. His head fell heavy into his hands,
his mind racing for any reasoning to what happened. Why did he force himself on
her that way?
            I care for Rin, and she is very attractive,
but she CANNOT be my mate, she is a human. I will not fall weak to my desires
again! He began to replay the event in his head looking for answers, but
all he got was aroused. Struggling against his own arousal, Sesshoumaru stood
up and tried to walk it off. With each step his thoughts lingered on Rin. Her
scent and taste flooded his memories and he could almost taste her as he licked
his lips with his tongue. No! I refuse to succumb to this desire. I will
put this out of my mind NOW!
He stopped his pacing and waited
to see if his thoughts would betray him again. His determination won out, his
thoughts were clear like usual, his mind alert and in control. As long as he
could keep his desire for Rin out of his mind, he could focus better on how he
was going to deal with her in the morning.
* ~ *
As morning light illuminated
Sesshoumaru�s room, he got up from his light rest and donned his outer robe. He
would have to talk to Rin shortly and he still did not know what to say for
himself and his bizarre behavior. He had spent most of the night trying to
figure out what was the best approach with Rin, and aside from admitting he
wanted her, he was clueless. Just because I want her doesn�t mean I can have
her�it doesn�t work that way. I do want her, I want more of her.
Sesshoumaru shook his head trying to get the thoughts of wanting Rin out of his
mind. It had been a constant battle all night between his mind and his desire.
Rin wants you, remember? She
said she had been thinking of you, you could have her. I can have her. She
wants me. With a grunt and another shake of his head, Sesshoumaru left his
room and descended into the great hall. Kohaku was fixing a sparring stick when
he noticed Sesshoumaru had joined him. �Lord Sesshoumaru, good morning. I hope
you slept well.� Kohaku made polite conversation.
�I do not sleep, not like humans
do.� Sesshoumaru answered in a matter of fact way and then added, �Did you
sleep well?� He assumed he should ask Kohaku in return out of etiquette.
Kohaku did not look up from his sparring stick, �Yes, I did�after I heard you
screaming at Rin, I slept quite soundly.� Kohaku had taken a big risk
mentioning something of this nature to someone like Sesshoumaru.
Sesshoumaru did not flinch, he
had a knack for never showing his thoughts or emotions, but he was disturbed
that this man had heard him enter Rin�s room. �Hai, I thought I heard something
and went to check on Rin, I thought she may need protecting.� Sesshoumaru
usually did not lie for he did not fear the truth, but he found himself guarded
about this issue since the truth of what happened eluded him.
�Oh, is that what you demons call
it, protecting? Us humans have a different word for it, we call it�� Kohaku
stopped speaking as he turned toward Sesshoumaru and saw the scowl on his face.
He knew then to let the topic go, Sesshoumaru�s glare sent a chill through him.
�Forgive me, it is none of my business.� Kohaku saved himself and slightly
nodded to Sesshoumaru as a sign of respect.
�I thought Rin was with you.�
Sesshoumaru stunned Kohaku by explaining. �Luckily for you, she was alone. If
you ever touch her, I shall kill you.� Kohaku opened his mouth to speak, �You
need not worry my Lord, I am to marry a girl in my village. My desire is not
with Rin.� Sesshoumaru�s eyes opened a bit at this news. �Does Rin know
this?� Kohaku answered, �Yes, she wishes to learn quickly so I may return to my
village. Rin does not want me. You need not go far to find out who Rin desires
my Lord.�
Rin does not want this man?
If what he says is true, then Rin does desire me and me alone. �You may
leave for your village at sunset. I am pleased with Rin�s progress in
self-defense. You can finish up with her today.� Sesshoumaru turned to leave
and acknowledged his lackey, Jaken, standing in the corner. �Jaken, pay the man
for his time and awaken Rin.� Jaken jumped forward to obey his master�s
commands. �Yes Lord Sesshoumaru!�
* ~ *
Rin was awake when Jaken banged
on her door. �Get out of bed girl! Lord Sesshoumaru wants to see you!� Rin
had already dressed for the day and sat nervously on her bed. She was confused
about what had happened the night before. Did that really happen? Did
Sesshoumaru come into my room and do�that! Does this mean he loves me? I�m
afraid to see him.
Rin did not want to face
Sesshoumaru. She was embarrassed and unsure of what had happened. She knew
that they had been intimate, but he had not even kissed her, it was all very
odd. I know, I�ll talk to Kohaku! He�ll know what it all means! Rin
headed downstairs in hopes of finding Kohaku before running into Sesshoumaru.
Unfortunately, Sesshoumaru was the first person she saw.
Rin stopped walking and
immediately dropped her head and stared at the floor. She felt horribly
uncomfortable. �Rin, please accompany me to my study.� Sesshoumaru walked past
her and she followed, keeping her eyes to the ground. Once inside the study he
shut the door behind them and motioned for her to sit. He, however, remained
standing.
�Rin, look at me.� Rin obeyed
and painfully forced herself to raise her gaze to his face. �Rin, I have
released Kohaku from our agreement. He will be leaving after dinner tonight.�
He paused waiting to see how she reacted. Rin did not react. �Finish up
anything you wish to learn today and say your goodbyes.� Rin was surprised that
this is what he was saying to her, �Yes my Lord.�
They both stared at each other
for an awkward moment and then Rin shifted to get up and leave assuming he was
finished. �Rin, sit.� Rin flinched and settled back into her chair once again
raising her gaze to him. �Yes?� Sesshoumaru still had not decided on the best
course of action regarding his rendezvous with Rin and spoke without thinking.
�Last night�last night, what
happened last night, between you and I�� he stopped realizing he had no idea
what to say. Rin looked at him attentively, she needed some sort of explanation
and he knew that. �I am sorry for barging into your room like that, I thought I
had heard something and came to check on you.� Rin still stared at him with her
big brown eyes open wide. �I did not mean to interrupt your private moment.�
Rin blushed profusely and turned her eyes away from him. He did not say
anything else, hoping that would be enough.
�I see. Thank you for your
concern.� Rin was just as flustered as Sesshoumaru and at a loss for words.
Is that all he has to say about it? Oh! I need more than that! �My
Lord?� Rin quietly asked. �Yes Rin?� Sesshoumaru feared she would inquire
about his odd behavior. �Why did you�I mean, what were you�� Rin could not
formulate a decent question.
�I desired you Rin. I was
captivated by you touching yourself and I acted on my desire. I am sorry if it
was not something you wanted. It will not happen again.� Sesshoumaru was
impressed with his answer, it said all he wanted to say. �It won�t? It won�t
happen again?� Rin repeated him as if trying to digest what he said. �Oh, I am
sorry that I put you in that situation my Lord.� Rin could not hide her obvious
disappointment in his answer.
He doesn�t want me, it was all
a big mistake! Oh I feel so stupid, I should have known he wouldn�t want to be
with me. Sesshoumaru interrupted her thoughts, �Rin, this is not your
fault, do not feel bad. I greatly enjoyed it, but I know you will want to take
a human mate one day and do not wish to hold you here against your will.�
�I don�t want a human mate!� Rin
wailed. She began to cry, this was not going well for her at all! �Rin, stop
crying.� Sesshoumaru used his firm voice and was frustrated to see her continue
crying. He was not very good at comforting her with words so he walked over to
her and placed a hand on her shoulder as a sign of care and support. He did not
like it when Rin cried, it broke his heart to see her upset, and this time it
was because of him. My poor Rin, please stop crying, I do want you, I just
can�t have you, this is for the best.
Rin placed her hand over his and
held onto it as she stood up to face him. He was taken back by her sudden move
and felt she was too close for his comfort. She leaned into his body searching
for a caring embrace. He allowed her this hug and gently wrapped his arms
around her back. Oh my dear Rin, I am so sorry.
How can he do this to me? I
know he wants me, he has to! Maybe he is afraid I will want to leave him for a
mate in the future. I should show him it is okay to want me. Rin was
baffled by her thoughts since she was very upset. She was usually not bold with
Sesshoumaru. Even last night when she had grabbed his hand, it was out of her
character. Rin did not know the spell cast on Sesshoumaru also led her to act
in ways to entice him.
Rin pressed her body to
Sesshoumaru�s, closer than a normal hug. She turned her lips to his neck and
lightly kissed the tender area. His stance faltered as he became aware of what
Rin was doing. Sesshoumaru pulled away from Rin and put his hands on her
shoulders in an attempt to keep her at arms length. �You should not do that
Rin, you do not know what affect that has on me.� Sesshoumaru wanted to be near
her but fought the urge for her sake. Rin deserved a real mate, one that could
be what he could not, a human.
            She wiped a tear from her face and looked at
him, �I�m sorry, I shall not do so again.� Rin ran from the room as more tears
fell. What was I thinking? It�s like my body had a mind of it�s own!
Rin headed back to the great hall in search of Kohaku.
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The Taste of True Love