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The Pain of Loss & Love	By : MikoSayuri Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Kagome > Sessh?maru/Kagome Views: 4504 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. No profit or money is made.

Chapter List
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The sun was setting in the Western Lands.
The day had been uneventful, but it had held importance none the less. Many things were brewing between the Four Cardinal Lords. Even though there were peace treaties, anyone could turn out to be enemy for power alone.
Many meetings were to be called in the future. So many events to take place, and so little time to spare.
Toga the daiyoukai took his reign seriously, and was a fair ruler. However, there were those whose wish was to challenge him. But the cowards they were, dared not to face him alone.
Toga knew what kept him from lashing out in anger was his pride, honor, and years of self control.
Toga had been busy lately, with all the many events coming. He had to up security for his lands. He trusted only a few in which he considered allies. He had meetings, documents to be written all day. Sometimes he worked late into the night, trying not to let everything pile up.
Honestly, Toga couldn't wait until Sesshomaru could take over as Lord of the Western Lands. Unfortunately he felt Sesshomaru wasn’t ready to rule, there were too many things that he felt Sesshomaru lacked. Soon he would start giving Sesshomaru more duties from now on, he wanted his pup to do morning rounds.
Toga was proud of Sesshomaru. He was a truly gifted warrior in his eyes. He knew his pup would surpass him in power but had yet to unlock his true power.
He gave Sesshomaru a small army that he was solely in charge of, and did well in excelling his army. He taught Sesshomaru everything in the art of battle, and the grace that comes with swordsmanship. He wouldn't be surprised if Sesshomaru surpassed him with the skills he's been developing on his own.
'The one thing I know about Sesshomaru, is that he takes battle tactics of war very serious. For the one on the receiving end of Sesshomaru's wrath on the battlefield would know the true meaning of his name alone.' Toga thought to himself with a shudder.
Toga shook his head to clear his thoughts
Toga put down the documents he had been writing, and grabbed his tea. He let the warm liquid soothe his throat. He finally became relaxed, and breathed a little easier.
Toga felt like he had been neglecting his mate. He had been so occupied with everything. He hardly saw his mate and pups.
He couldn't even be alone with his mate like he truly desired to be. If he had his choice he would never ever leave his bed, let alone leave Izayoi either. Oh, yes he was going to take some time off to be with his mate. Maybe for a day and leave the lands for a night it didn't matter.
Toga expanded his senses throughout the castle. He noticed his mate's aura, Izayoi was coming to his study.
Before she was able to knock, Toga let the stress he had been feeling lately go through their mating bond.
"Come in, mate."
Izayoi walked in the study, and immediately took in her mate's face.
'My mate it seems like is always stressed!' Izayoi thought to herself. Instantly she felt the stress that Toga had been feeling through their mating bond.
Izayoi knew her mate had been busy with meetings and writing documents. She just wished he wouldn’t work so hard all the time. She understood that if he left matters unattended it would pile up, then he would be more busy than he is now.
Sometimes she secretly wished they were commoners, so they could spend more time together but such wishful thinking was out of the question.
Toga smelled his mate's worry. He didn't like when she worried herself so. With all the events taking place, it was hard not to.
"What occurrence has taken place this time?" Izayoi said as she put both hands on hips, trying to lighten the mood a little.
Izayoi then proceeded to take a seat across from her mate.
"Same as always, love. Old demons bickering and sharing sake." Toga let out a dry laugh, unable to hold it in any longer.
"Thank the kami's I was born a demoness, then." Izayoi said as she winked at him.
"For my sake it's good thing." His eyes twinkled with amusement.
Toga took in Izayoi's appearance, his mouth watering at the sight of his mate. She wore a inner white kimono where the latter part was of gold.
With a image of a white inuyoukai that was Toga in his true form. The obi was white with gold endings.
Izayoi had her long black tied into a neat bun. Her creamy beige complexion made his hands itch to feel, and touch the softness of her skin. She had one black stripe on each cheek with dark chocolate brown eyes; eyes that held love and kindness in them. She had a hourglass figure, just the way he liked it, which he thought made her just perfect.
Izayoi let out a small laugh, saying "I bet it is!"
"Where would I be without you, mate?" Toga said with a sigh.
"At the dinner table.” She said with a deadpan and twinkle in her eye.
“It's already time for us to eat. Put troublesome matters aside for now, and let's have a pleasant dinner." Izayoi said trying to hurry her mate.
"Yes, love. I do believe I've had my fair share of documents and meetings for today." Toga said with a smile.
Izayoi noticed that despite his words, Toga was still writing a document. Knowing this,she would have to take matters into her own hands for him to attend dinner.
"Come on, now! This can wait for the morning. If I leave now you will never make it to dinner. Something will always require your attention, no matter if you finish or not." Izayoi remarked.
With that said Izayoi rose gracefully from her cushion across from her mate, and walked towards her mate, holding out her hand for him to take.
"How right you are, my beloved. Let's go to the others, they will arrive shortly."
Toga stood up, and took his mate's hand. Opened the door to his study, and lead his beloved to the dining hall.
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After dinner was served, and everyone had eaten.
Sesshomaru wanted to speak with his sire. He had gotten a nagging feeling things were off. The daiyoukai had been occupied lately. This would be his opportune moment to speak with him of the events that have taken place as of recent.
"Father, I wish to speak with you in your study." Sesshomaru said turning towards his sire.
"Indeed, my boy! We have a lot to discuss as of late. Let us retire to my study." Toga replied.
Sesshomaru bowed respectfully to his mother Akira, and his younger sister Misaki. Then clearly in a disrespectful manner he didn't acknowledge his other half breed siblings or his father's mate.
Sesshomaru consider Izayoi his sire's whore. He gave off a feeling that he was clearly disgusted by her and the offspring she gave birth to.
Sesshomaru took his leave with haste in a gracious manner not wanting to be in their presence any longer.
He left to his father's study, and would wait for him there. He entered the study and in a fluid movement sat down on a cushion.
Waiting patiently for his sire to arrive. He expanded senses and found his father's aura. His father was on the way to the study.
Toga slid opened the door to his study, and turned to look at his pup
"Sesshomaru, my boy! Early as usual." Toga couldn't fight the smirk that was displayed on his face.
Toga took a seat behind his desk, and locked gazes with his eldest son.
Sesshomaru said getting straight to the point, "Father, why is this Sesshomaru doing more morning rounds than usual,". He was trying to get to the point, so he could leave to be with Takara.
"Right to the core, I see. Never one to stop by for a simple conversation. Well the other three lords have upcoming events and such. One can never be too careful, you never know when one is planning your ultimate demise." Toga said as he narrowed his eyes slightly.
"What events are taking place?" Sesshomaru's interest was peaked, this was news he hadn’t heard. Linking one and two together now he knew why he was doing more morning rounds.

"That is to be discussed later on. We have our own events that need attending first. Your mother is throwing a gathering together to celebrate, Misaki's coming of age. Sesshomaru, you are to be in charge of security for this event." Toga wanted the best security for his only daughter.
He would killed anyone that dare bring harm to his precious Misaki. Toga trusted Sesshomaru completely with this delicate task.
"Of course This Sesshomaru will hand pick my best men from my guards. Unless you would have it otherwise?" Sesshomaru would never let any harm come to his only sibling.
Blood would surely be bleed in the cruelest manner he could think of; death would come to the one who would even dare lay a hand on which was precious to him.
"I expect no less from you, my boy! You are perfectionist when it comes down to business. That is why you are in charge, at this moment I have too much on my plate to be dealing with this event. Also, you and Ryuunosuke are taking over morning rounds from now on. Your brother's are going into rigorous training," Toga responded.
"Half-brothers remember that well father," Sesshomaru growled out.
"Why must you be so cruel and cold, Sesshomaru? What have they done to you? The same blood pumps in their veins, as yours." Toga couldn't believe the statements Sesshomaru would say at times.
"Their very existence bothers this Sesshomaru. For a inuyoukai of pure blood to lay with a mere commoner. Than have such weak offspring at that; it's an abomination in itself. A pure blood inuyoukai should never lay with such fifth. The act should be forbidden," Sesshomaru said with clear disdain.
"Don't you dare go there with me my boy! Sesshomaru I warned you of this behavior, it's unacceptable! I did not choose who I fell in love with. When you can understand this then judge me. Until then, mind your tongue son." Toga answered back growl of his own,flaring his aura.
"This Sesshomaru responded to your question for which you sought an answer. I merely spoke the truth," Sesshomaru said carelessly, knowing full well it would only anger his sire more.
"Sesshomaru one day you will come to understand of which I speak of. I simply didn't choose to love Izayoi, it just happened. I love her dearly, and can you not see that? Do you not love Takara?" Toga said trying to reason with his pup, but knowing it would be a futile attempt.
"Love is a emotion humans feel, this Sesshomaru does not require love. It is a weakness, I will not have. As for Takara, she will bear strong heirs; she has proven herself worthy of her station. A demoness of pure inuyoukai blood. Powerful enough to birth and defend my heirs if need be, other than that I see no use of her." Sesshomaru felt no need to reveal more information to his father than what was required.
Sesshomaru didn't understand why his sire was worried about his intended anyway. When he choose to lay and bed with another, failing his mother. Then undoing their mating bond to be with a mere commoner? It was unheard of.
Sesshomaru respected his sire, but as far as mating ideals went. They had different opinions on the matter.
"I see now my boy. You do not love her, what a pity, truly she will never be happy at your side." Toga became sadden by the response from his eldest son. He clearly felt he had failed his pup, Sesshomaru lacked compassion and love.
"She will be well taken care of, you need not to worry. Inu's mate for life, something you failed at and which I will not.” On the outside he wore his cold facade, his mask of calm and careless expression but on the inside Sesshomaru was angry, how dare his sire judge his relationship with Takara
"Sesshomaru it seems, there just is no winning with you. You are not a pup, we will discuss this at a later time. Report to me after morning rounds, I must retire for the evening; I have an early meeting tomorrow. You are dismissed for now, Sesshomaru." Toga had enough on his plate.
He did not need to deal with his stubborn pup. No the daiyoukai had enough for one day, he would deal with his eldest later. There were more pressing concerns than the situation with Sesshomaru.
Sesshomaru smoothly rose from the cushion, and proceeded to the door and proceeded to disappeared into the hall.
Sesshomaru needed to leave his sire presence. He wanted to spill blood, tear an enemy apart limb for limb before he could see Takara. She didn't need to see him like this.
Never would he let anyone see him lose control of his emotions. The one that dare try will surely lose their life.
Toga on the other end rubbed his temples trying to prevent an oncoming headache. He did not understand Sesshomaru's action and hatred towards his siblings, and mate. Akira never did discipline their two pups. His eldest and youngest Inuyasha were always at each other's throats.
Toga wished his pups would just get along, for his state of mind. But he knew such a thing was just wishful thinking on his part.
Toga sighed, knowing he couldn’t just bang his head against the wall. More than ever, he knew he needed to get away from all this, and take Izayoi with him. He wanted time to find his center of peace once more.
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A familiar tiny demonic aura pulled him from the musings at the moment.
Toga opened his hand, so the tiny flea may land.
"Toga-sama, how are you my friend?" Myoga said as he bowed to his lord.
"What danger have you ran from this time?" Toga said as he lifted an elegant eyebrow, with a smirk plastered on his face.
Myoga was glared daggers his way, while Toga let out a hearty laugh.
"My lord, can I not visit with an old friend?" Myoga said as he threw his hands in the air, feeling utterly defeated. Toga knew him too well if you were to ask him.
"Indeed, it has been too long, since I laughed at your antics." Toga felt lighter, in his dwellings compared to a few moments ago.
Myoga stared at the daiyoukai, and took a sniff of the air. Even though his nose was not as good, as Toga's. He could still smell Sesshomaru’s scent in the room.
"Toga-sama, what was Sesshomaru doing in your study? If I may ask." Myoga said curious.
"That pup gives me nothing but headaches. I should have spanked him more, as a pup!" Toga began to complaining like a child to his father.
"What has the young lord done, this time?" Myoga using a parental voice.
"He still lacks respect towards my mate, and his siblings." Toga narrowed his eyes slightly with a growl.
"Ahh.. so that's the problem. Your eldest is very complicated and complex. There's no telling what goes through Sesshomaru's mind." Myoga could sense Toga's anger towards this situation.
"He may be my son, but I will not tolerate his behavior. This has gone on long enough." Toga said clearly at his wits end with his stubborn pup.
"Toga, as a friend. I understand your concern, but Sesshomaru must open his own eyes. If you force your authority, it will only fuel his hatred and anger, and that will blind him more. He must learn to love and respect them on his terms." Myoga trying to see both sides of the matter while also trying to calm down his old friend.
"How long more will they have to endure this. I grow tired of him and Inuyasha arguing. He doesn't even acknowledge Izayoi!", Toga exclaimed. He hoped Myoga may have an answer for him, but knew in the end it may be years before that were to happen. It could even be centuries before the change came from Sesshomaru.
"There will always be sibling rivalry, that you can not avoid. It's often Inuyasha's fault for pestering Sesshomaru. Even though sometimes Sesshomaru is at fault." Myoga replied gently. He knew that Sesshomaru didn't like having half siblings, especially since Toga mated with a commoner. He never told Toga this information for it was not his right to tell.
The daiyoukai new his old friend spoke only the truth, Toga could only sigh exasperation.
Myoga spoke once again, gaining the attention of Toga.
"Izayoi leaves Sesshomaru be, though she may want to bond with him, but wait until he comes around to his senses. Sadly that's all you can do my lord, is wait."
Unfortunately that's all one could do was wait. He knew Sesshomaru would come around sooner or later, but the future would be a long one.
He bowed his head to his lord trying to show some sympathy towards his situation.
"You are correct, old friend. I just wish there was another way. You wouldn't believe what Sesshomaru told me earlier. He doesn't even love Takara, he only sees her as a strong female to bear pups. I truly feel sorry for her." Toga felt bad for Takara, she may live a miserable life with Sesshomaru.
Myoga scoffed at the statement, and rolled his eyes.
"I do not feel bad for Takara. She knew the type of demon your son was. I hate to say this, but she knew the consequences of being with Sesshomaru, and must tolerate it." Myoga couldn't stand Takara at all, he hoped Sesshomaru made her life a living hell.
"Myoga, you are certainly cold hearted, but what you say does hold some truth. Even talking about my eldest only brings headaches. Do you care to join me for a much needed drink?" Toga saw Myoga's point but no one should live without love in a relationship.
"Toga-sama, I wouldn't mind if I do. My journey has been a long one." Myoga could use a drink too, finally rest, and enjoy a conversation with a old friend.
Toga poured him and Myoga a drink, even though his friend was a tiny demon, boy, could hold down his liquor.
Both of the old friends enjoyed a few laughs, and drank well into the night, sharing of old stories between the two friends.
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Author's Note
Give all thanks to my wonderful betas Supermangageek23 and Sweet×Sorrow. They have done rewording to editing like geniuses. Without their help my chapters would never to make it out there. Please send your love and thanks to them. Thanks for everyone who has reviewed and read my story. Please review, I would like to hear from my readers :-)
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The Pain of Loss & Love