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Blood Stained	By : Maddiesan Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Kagome > Sessh?maru/Kagome Views: 61650 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 6
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, and I do not make any money from these writings

Chapter List
- 41
- 42
- 43
Blood Stained
Chapter 42: Seeking Answers

A feeling of awkwardness roamed through her body as she felt his eyes on her. Kagome had awoken ten minutes ago and ever since then, though she had not glanced in his direction she had been able to feel his piercing gaze through her body with one long lasting look. Something about him was off. He wasn’t acting like his usual self. After a few minutes, she decided to dismiss it. She knew nothing of his life, so perhaps something had gone wrong and it wasn’t her business to know.

Gathering her courage, she tilted her head to the side and their eyes met. His usual cold, stoic mask was gone. For the first time his green eyes were clouded with emotions and a bit surprised by that unexpected turn of events, Kagome found herself looking away from him. Sesshomaru wasn’t one to display emotions and she had been caught off guard.

Meanwhile, Sesshomaru ran his fingers through his short black locks, a bit irritated. Not at her though, at himself. How could he have allowed this to happen? This time, there was no blaming the beast, it was all himself. He could say he was caught up in the moment, but he wasn’t sure if that was completely true. But that brought him to need to answer one difficult question; what did he feel towards the Miko?

If he was more than on the spur of the moment, than what was it?

It was true that he found himself wanting some interactions, but most of them involved the pup, not her. Or did they? He usually had a good grip on his emotions, but this had felt out of character for him. Not only that, but he didn’t even want to think about what might have happened if she had woken up while he was kissing her. Considering their history, it would have been devastating.

This was the first time since he had been in her company that they had regular conversations and did regular things. Could it be that he got caught up in everything? During all those years since she had escaped his beast, Sesshomaru had remained alone, not that it bothered him, she was the first real amity he really had. This whole interaction situation was still fairly new to him.

In addition, she technically was his mate and they had a bond.

After taking a deep breath, Sesshomaru decided that the best plan of action was to not let this get to him. It was one little slip up, it would never happen again. Luckily, no damage had been done and she never needed to know. On top of that, if he did not pull himself together soon, she’d notice. Although from the look she had just given him, she was already aware that something was not right. The good thing was, he knew she wouldn’t ask.

Now his other problem was deciding what to do. After judging her health for the past two days, he knew she was in no state to travel and search for the last shard. He wanted her to stay in bed, but he knew she might be a bit stubborn about it. If she over exhausted herself and past out in the streets, it would not be wise. In addition, it would compromise both her health and that of the child’s.

Collecting his emotions and composing himself, he turned his head in her direction.

“It would be most wise for you to remain in bed today,” he announced, his tone completely neutral.

Kagome jumped a bit at the sound of his voice. Before gazing in his direction, she looked down at her bulging stomach. Yesterday she had felt so many pains coming from her son and she herself had been in such a state. Although she knew neither her nor Kiyoshi were in any grave danger of death, she had to agree with Sesshomaru. If something happened while they were out, it would only cause more problems.

It was true that she was a bit frustrated that she would have to delay the shard hunt, but it wasn’t as if there was anything she could do once the jewel was completed. In that case, it was much wiser to allow her health to rise back up, before throwing herself in the way of danger.

“I agree,” she said, her voice nearly a whisper.

Kagome allowed herself to glance at him. Sesshomaru was peering at her, she could see he appeared very different than a few minutes ago. It was as if whatever had been bothering him was long gone from his mind. A part of her was a bit curious but she kept it inside.

Sesshomaru felt a strange awkwardness between them, but it was mostly coming from him. After what he had done, it was a bit difficult to act as if nothing had happened. It was then that an idea that would both re-assure them and create some distance between them formed in his mind. However, it did involve leaving her alone for a bit, which he wasn’t sure he was comfortable with.

“Would you be fine on your own for an hour?”

She looked a bit surprised by his question, but slowly nodded. Sesshomaru rose from the bed, and reached out for something in his pocket. He pulled out a cellphone, before heading in her direction and giving it to her.

“If anything happens, contact me,” he said, his voice almost bearing a bit of concern.

Kagome took the phone from him. “Thank you.”

After the strange display of emotions earlier, she couldn’t help but wonder where he was heading. He glanced her way only once before exiting the room and leaving her completely alone. A sigh nearly escaped her lips as she rested her head on the pillow once more. She wrapped her arms around her stomach and almost groaned. She still felt a bit nauseous, her appetite was not present, though she’d probably force herself to eat a little something later.

Nearly grunting, she managed to sit on the edge of the bed, her body feeling quite a bit heavy. Against her will, she could not stop replaying in her mind the conversation that had just occurred between her and Sesshomaru. Granted they had never been best friends, but this had felt strange. He wasn’t one to share or express himself, but she had felt him trying to put a distance between them. The thought was almost funny, shouldn’t that be her job?

As Kagome found herself wondering what could have caused his reaction, she concluded that she knew nothing about him. He obviously knew a lot both from knowing her from the past and having five hundred years to search and find about her, but her case was much different. Up until a couple weeks ago, she didn’t even want to talk to him. Of course, that was before she had decided to give him a second chance.

Her experience with his beast was something that had greatly affected her and often she had put the both of them together. Although it was a bit painful to admit at first, Kagome had to say, Sesshomaru was different. No he wasn’t the most caring, and sharing person, but he was not a cold heart monster. Sometimes he did offer her some gestures that were beyond what he should do if he kept his actions to a minimum.

Kagome liked to hold on to these thoughts because it made this situation much easier. Not only easier to bear with, but easier for herself. If she saw him as his own person, than she wasn’t as stressed out or nervous around him. No, she was not fully comfortable, but when was she? It didn’t really applied strictly to him, but to almost every aspect to daily life. It also helped her with her recovery.

Yes, the one she had to forgive was his beast, but she had still held grudges against him, those were slowly fading away. But, Kagome couldn’t help but think it would be awkward to get along with Sesshomaru while still despising and fearing his beast. They were two people, but they shared the same body nonetheless.

As Kagome gathered the strength to make it on her feet, his suitcase pressed against the wall attracted her attention. He carried it around with him the whole time, but she had barely ever seen him open it or use it. It was truly none of her business and she should leave it be. More often then enough, she was too curious for her own good and it had often gotten her in trouble. It was his stuff, not hers, she shouldn’t look through it.

But could she chase the urge to find out who he was?

Perhaps he was someone different with her, mostly because of his guilt. Kagome had no idea of who he was in the outside world. Maybe she just wanted to know he wasn’t unnecessarily mean or, that he didn’t treat humans like they were worthless. Truly, it shouldn’t matter how he was, or who he was, but she wanted to know. Ever since he had been back in her life, he had only interacted with either her, or employees and what not.

Well there had been Kouga, but since it had mostly appeared to be an alpha male internal clash, she decided not to count it.

Who was Sesshomaru?

It was truly a simple question, but she could not answer it.

-B-

Sesshomaru was in the car, tapping his foot against the flooring. This little trip hadn’t gone as expected, but at least, he had obtained some sort of results. Instead of being gone for an hour, Sesshomaru had been absent for almost five hours, It wasn’t what he had in mind, but at least since Kagome had not called, he assumed all was well. Sesshomaru had left because he knew there were a few youkais, which mingled with humans and had every day jobs. He also knew that some of them because of the knowledge they had acquired over the centuries had jobs such as doctors.

He knew a few youkais a bit everywhere and he had began looking through a list. They had been forced to make many stops and a lot of them had not been successful. Fortunately, they had finally landed on one who was a doctor. Sesshomaru had hoped that with his medical knowledge and youkais and hanyous experience, perhaps he could help the Miko.

After all, working in a hospital provided more resources to medicine and treatment than living in a cave did. Unfortunately, the youkai was on duty until three in the morning and could only travel to their hotel afterwards, meaning he would arrive earlier in the morning. It bothered Sesshomaru a bit to disrupt the Miko’s sleep, but he needed her to get a check up. The idea that the birth might be earlier than expected had not left his mind.

Sesshomaru felt a bit relieved when the hotel finally came in view. He was sick of traveling, to be honest the past day had been too eventful for his liking. The driver opened the door for him, Sesshomaru thanked him with a nod, before getting out. Sesshomaru thought about going up right away, but then he remembered that Kagome had not eaten yet. He could recall her not feeling so well the previous day, so he wasn’t sure if eating was the best idea. Nonetheless, he decided to stop and order her a soup and if she felt well enough, she could choose to eat it.

He went to the front desk to order it, before heading upstairs. Even though she had not called, meaning she was fine, he was still a bit concerned. If something happened to her along the lines of passing out, then she wouldn’t have been able to reach him. Without realizing it, he began to walk a bit faster, closing the distance between himself and the room rapidly.

Sesshomaru slid his key in and the door opened. Once he walked in, she immediately appeared in his line of sight. She was laying on the top of the bed, above the blankets. He walked in her direction, just wanting to make sure she was asleep and not unconscious from the pain or a fever. Once he reached her side, he went on his knees and lowered his face to hers. From what he could tell, her breathing rate was normal and she didn’t appear to be any more flustered than usual.

Without realizing his action, he brushed away her bangs and once he took conscious thought of what he was doing, he retracted his hand immediately, as if he had been burned. Why was he acting this way in her presence? It was too casual, as if he was allowed to do this, as if it were normal for him to initiate such contact. He couldn’t help but run his fingers through his hair, a bit in a panic. Earlier, he had told himself this would not happen again. Why did the gestures keep slipping past his control?

He felt sweat drops damped his neck and he decided to take a shower. Not only had he been all around the city but it would probably help him clam down a bit. He quickly grabbed a few of his clothes from his suitcase before disappearing behind the bathroom door, making sure to silently close it so as to not wake her up.

As soon as the door closed, her eyes flung opened. The tiniest blush began decorating her cheeks. Had Sesshomaru just done what she thought he did? It had taken every bit of control within her to not open her eyes when he had been inches from her face. She had somewhat woken up when he had walked into the room, but she had still been too exhausted to completely wake up. Kagome had felt him come close, but she had assumed he was just checking up on her.

But then, he had done that.

It was as she slowly sat up in the bed that she realized her heart had been pounding the whole time. There was one thing though. She couldn’t figure out if it was because of the proximity and the gesture, or if it was out of fear. His new appearance didn’t really remind her of the best, but it was still Sesshomaru. She found herself biting on her bottom lip, as she felt somewhat alarmed.

Had he known what he was doing when he did such a thing, or had it been involuntary? Her eyes traveled to the door of the washroom, where she could hear the shower running. Kagome tangled her messy hair even more with her fingers, as she tried to keep herself under control. He hadn’t abused her or taken advantage of her. There was nothing wrong with brushing her hair away, it certainly didn’t have anything to do with a sexual gesture. Perhaps she only felt this way because she had really been caught off guard.

Kagome took a few deep breaths and began feeling a bit better, but one question remained on her mind. Did she fear intimacy? She had felt a tiny bit uncomfortable around Kouga… Though he had hugged her and she had even allowed Sesshomaru to rub her belly and lay beside her when they had watched a movie. However, none of these gestures represented sexual intimacy.

Would she ever be able to be with someone that way again? After all, she had no good memories of her previous scaring experiences. Yet, wasn’t that included in the process? If she wanted to heal, put the beast behind, it was something she had to consider. There was no way she could let it ruin her life forever. If there was one thing Kagome had understood, ever since she had decided to forgive him, was her fear of the beast, that she couldn’t let it destroy her.

Something had already been taken away from her against her will, but she couldn’t allow it to control her forever. Sometimes it was hard to be strong, to forget, but slowly as the weeks were passing, Kagome was regaining a strength she used to have. No matter how harsh an experience could be, she would always have her spirit. She hadn’t allowed the beast to take it away from her when he was mistreating her and she wouldn’t.

Of course, that didn’t mean she’d jump into a relationship, to just be with anyone, but she wanted to be comfortable in that aspect. Kagome had no desire to fear being close to someone. Even though in her current situation being with someone sounded insane. Nonetheless, if the opportunity came, she wanted to be able to open up. There was one thing though, how was she supposed to overcome such a thing on her own?

It was one thing to say I won’t be scared, but it was another to actually not be terrified. It was also a bit of a problem considering the only person in her vicinity that she could trust was Sesshomaru. Not only was it completely insane considering what happened between them, but how exactly was she supposed to remain away from him in that department while over coming her fear?

Suddenly, Kagome felt like smacking herself for having such thoughts. Although she was talking to him, giving him another chance, this was completely different. Was she really stupid enough to think about asking him to help her? How? By doing what? She brought her hand to her forehead and felt her temperature, wondering if she had a fever.

Never could she let such a thought cross her.

It was almost as if for a moment, she had forgotten everything that had happened. Even if it had felt good for a second to not think about the bad things, she couldn’t do that again.

Before she could collect herself, the door opened, revealing Sesshomaru. Unlike the previous times, he was already dressed. As he dried off his hair with the towel, he raised his head, their eyes met. He seemed quite a bit surprised to see her awake, his eyes widening a little. Quickly, he recovered from his shock and nodded at her, before dropping his towel in the laundry basket.

“Are you feeling well?” he inquired, breaking the silence.

Kagome nodded. This time it was her turn to act somewhat strange in his presence. She still felt weirded out about the thoughts she previously had. She quickly looked away before feeling a strange emotion bubbling within her. What was going on? She felt like she was a complete mess all of the sudden. She couldn’t even remember the last time she had felt like this around Sesshomaru. It nearly felt like those weren’t her emotions.

Suddenly a knock on the door could be heard and she jumped. Sesshomaru looked up before heading for the door. He had completely forgotten about her soup. He opened the door, grabbed it and handed a tip before turning around to face her.

“I thought you might be hungry,” he said before handing her the soup.

She took it from him, their fingers almost touching. “Thank you.” She was indeed feeling a bit hungry, but she also felt a bit nauseous, so she knew that the safest thing to do was to wait.

As he headed back towards his bed, she decided she needed a distraction because her thoughts were bad for her. She knew something which would occupy her mind and drain her energy; the connection. That and it had been a while since they had last done it. Maybe it would also help her clear out al those strange feelings she was having.

“Hmm,” she started, a bit unsure. “Do you mind if we do it now?”

It took him a second or two to understand what she meant by it, but once he did, he shook his head.

“It’s no problem.” He stood from his bed, headed for hers, before sitting on the edge.

Kagome had a small panic forming within her as she observed him while he waited for her hands. Slowly and carefully she slipped her tiny digits across the palms of his hands, before their fingers intertwined. At that moment, they both somewhat avoided looking into each other’s eyes. She knew that if she remained nervous this wouldn’t work, so she took a deep breath, trying to chase away all thoughts.

“I think you’re scared.”

She turned around, her hair being caught in the wind as she recognized his voice. Their eyes met, but quickly enough she glanced away. Their surroundings were very familiar to her but she couldn’t put her finger on it. There was a thick forest enveloping them, the scent of dirt filling the air, and a well in the middle of it all. Yes, she was sure of it; she knew this place.

“Where are we?” she asked, ignoring what he had just said.

He chuckled. “This is where freedom and imprisonment meet.”

She knitted her eyebrows together in confusion. Freedom and imprisonment? What in the world was he talking about.

“I take it you don’t remember,” he said before taking a step forward in her direction.

She shook her head, before her eyes were drawn to the well once more. It was so familiar. Ignoring the fact that he was coming closer to her, she headed for the wooden wall. Gently, she allowed her fingers to glide across the surface and immediately felt a tingle go through her body. A feeling filled her and all of a sudden her eyes became teary. As if he knew this was going to happen, he rushed to her side.

Before she could tilt her head to the side to look at him, she felt his hands on her hips and all of a sudden, her breath was caught in her throat. Her whole body stiffened, it was as if she had forgotten how to move. Sesshomaru lifted her up, put her down on the edge of the wall. As he approached his face to hers, a feeling of déjà vu took over. Why did this scene feel familiar? Had she experienced it before?

“What is the price of freedom? What will set you free?”

“A kiss,” she blurted out without even thinking about it.

Why had she known the answer so quickly?

He smirked, satisfied with her answer. “But I think you’re too scared.” He lifted his hand, cupping her cheek with it. “Are you afraid of me?”

Her bottom lip was quivering as many thoughts ran through her mind. A part of her was terrified at their proximity, while another part felt as if he could be trusted. Why was she so torn?

“I don’t want to be?”

“Do you wonder what freedom tastes like?”

As if her body knew what was supposed to happen, she gently closed the distance between them, before pressing her lips to his. It was brief, quick and there was barely any contact at all. As she pulled away, her eyes were wide open, as she wondered why she had done this. But, before she could open her mouth and ask him, since he seemed to have all the answers, the background around them quickly faded away. Before they could do anything, it was complete darkness.

When she managed to open her eyes again, she immediately glanced at their vicinity. They were in the middle of a busy city, there was traffic jams, many people walking back and forth on the side walks. She knew this place as well. Then through the crowd she spotted a face she knew. A man – or at least she thought he was one – with silver hair, much like Sesshomaru’s, except he had dog ears on top of his head.

Without thinking about it twice, she began to walk in his direction but all of a sudden, she was stopped when someone grabbed her wrist. She gasped slightly before spinning around, only to come face to face with him yet again.

“Do you recognize the look on his face?”

A bit confused, she looked at the man, saw the he looked somewhat shocked and surprised at the same time. She followed his line of sight only to find a woman surrounded by five men who were extremely closed to her, a bit touchy. It was not an unusual sight though. She wasn’t sure why, but she knew she had seen this plenty of times before.

“Why is he acting this way?” she finally asked.

“Because that is not what he is used to. Women are not supposed to be acting like this with men, or at least not in public.”

They were not supposed to? “I don’t understand,” she said, more confused than ever.

“You will.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, the scenery around them changed rapidly. Although this time it wasn’t engulfed by darkness, it simply transformed in front of their eyes. This time the décor looked a lot like back at the well, except they were in a village. Then suddenly, a cry and a scream could be heard echoing through the town. Kagome’s eyes immediately flickered in the direction of the sound, only to find a woman kneeling on the ground.

She was holding on to a man’s leg as if her life depended on it.

“Father please,” begged the woman. “I do not wish to go with him!”

Then, out of the blue another man appeared, and he quickly wrapped his arms around her waist, dragging her up from the ground. Once she was back on her feet, the man slapped her across the face, before roughly grabbing her wrist. The older man – the woman’s father apparently – didn’t seem fazed by the situation.

“You’re his wife now Mizuki, you have to go with him.”

“But I do not want to,” pleaded the woman, as her husband kept carrying her away.

It didn’t take Kagome too long to put the elements together. The woman was going to be forced upon. She couldn’t help the tingle of pain that went through her heart at the thought of what would happen to that poor woman. Then, suddenly the same silver haired man from earlier appeared and walked near the village, never once looking in the direction of the crying woman.

She couldn’t help but feel a rage develop within her. “Why is no one helping her? He’s going to take her!”

Beside her, Sesshomaru was calm and collected.

“This is different. Women rarely have a choice. Her husband was picked for her and that she wishes for it or not, she has to go with it.” He knew she was going to open her mouth to protest, so he continued. “You were not disgusted by the sight of that woman earlier, were you?”

She shook her head, not understand what it had to do with the current situation.

“Because it is normal for you. Well this is normal for them. It is what they were raised to believe, it’s the same thing. Granted the situations are not the same, but it is still about how people think. For them this is okay. They do not see nor understand the harm.”

For once, she was silent, unsure of what to say.

“So, if you do not know, is it just as wrong as if you do?” He paused. “Knowing and turning your back on it, is it at the same level than being in the dark and doing it? Is it possible for one to redeem itself, while the other is lost?”

His words echoed through her mind. It was as if they were burning themselves into her head. Was it actually right? When you do not know any better, is it okay to do what you think is right? Doest it make it any easier to forget and forgive? What about the one who was mistreated, can they see the light through the darkness, or will they be lost?

But she didn’t want to be lost, she just wanted to find her way back.

The connection was broken as she pulled away, a bit disturbed by what had just occurred. She hadn’t meant to, it had just happened. Sesshomaru hadn’t been holding her fingers very tightly which had allowed her to slip away. He remained somewhat stunned as he searched her face with concerned eyes. He quickly noticed the tears forming in her eyes and for once, he found himself unable to do anything. He was never good at dealing with people who were crying. He himself had barely ever cried, making it a bit difficult to understand the emotion.

Kagome felt as if her heart was ready to burst and she was overwhelmed. It was the words still echoing in her mind. She knew it applied to her, the question was directed to her, but after everything that happened, she didn’t know how to answer it. Her heart was heavy, before she could stop herself, the tears were streaming down her face. Why did it make her feel this way? All this time, she had always refused to look at the beast’s actions from another angle because he had hurt her so much. Now though, there had been no way out for her, at least not in time. She had to hear it, she had to see it.

Her heart beat increased, without thinking, she stretched out her hands, looking for something to grab because she felt as if she was falling. Of course, the first thing that came in her reach was Sesshomaru’s shirt. He was a bit shocked by her action and as soon as he felt her pull on his clothes, he ceased any movements, as if he was afraid to scare her.

Did it make it okay? If the beast thought it was right, did it erase the pain? Did it make her forget everything that happened? Kagome felt bad when it had been pointed out that her reaction to the woman surrounded by men wasn’t shocking her. Were the two situations really the same? Although she had been doing progress lately, that part scared her. It was the biggest chunk of the problem and what she feared the most.

Before now, everything involved being more comfortable in Sesshomaru’s presence but this was different, it was about forgiving the beast. Was she supposed to forget because back then it was right?

For the first time, she was confused. If someone else had done it, would it have been any different? Inuyasha had attempted the same thing, she had been angry at him for it. She was pretty sure if Miroku had forced himself on Sango, she would have been mad. It wasn’t just in her situation, in any situation, she couldn’t understand it. The women in her era weren’t suffering, but the women in the Feudal Era were in pain. Didn’t it make the situation completely opposite? Nobody’s freedom was taken away in modern time Tokyo.

This whole time, she had not stopped crying. Kagome wasn’t sure if it was because of how conflicted she felt within, or because her current unbalanced hormones were contributing. She was so caught up in her own thoughts, she had even forgotten he was there.

She remembered her last thought. She didn’t want to be lost. She wanted to find her way back home.

Did it mean, she needed to go out of her way to understand the beast? If she didn’t, then she would forever be the one stuck with the pain of that memory. Kagome was so tired of suffering, she was sick of that evil feeling she carried around in her heart. If the beast was allowed to feel freely, then she should be given the same thing.

Nobody would do it for her, she had to do it on her own.

Her whole body began trembling a bit, mostly because she had no energy at all and she was over exhausting herself with all of her emotions. Sesshomaru felt it and without thinking, he began reaching out a bit in case she fell. Her eyes tightly shut, she leaned in, surprising him. He felt her head connect with his chest, and suddenly she began to slip away. To prevent such a thing, he wrapped his arms around her waist, keeping her in place. His whole body was tensed, as he had never comforted anyone before.

Kagome was drowning his shirt with her tears. Admitting those things to herself, trying to make the right decision, it had drained her. For the first time, she was seeking for comfort. She wasn’t fully realizing whom it was that was holding her, but right now it felt good to let the pain out. His grip on her tightened a bit, so she held on to his shirt a bit more, nearly causing the buttons to open before of the force she was applying.

The reality of things, the importance of her duty, they were a heavy burden for her.

Problem was, if she didn’t do it, nobody would.

That really meant that she had to move forward, not run away the next time the beast was subtly involved. She wouldn’t throw herself at the problem in the hope it would be solved, but if it came around, she had to face it and deal with it. Her own thoughts were making her heart pound. If she didn’t chase the beast out of her mind, if she didn’t break the chains he had put on her heart, then she would never be free. The road would be long and painful, but one day, she would make it to the end. She wasn’t doing this for the sake of forgiveness, she was doing this for herself.

Her trembling ceased a bit and Sesshomaru couldn’t help but look down at her. Her eyes were still closed, he could see the stickiness of her tears upon her cheeks. Her bangs and hair were glued to her face because of that, but in her current state she didn’t seem to realize. His fingers were twitching, he remembered her face earlier when he had pushed her bangs away.

The proper thing to do would be to respect her private space. Yet, hadn’t they crossed that barrier when she had sought comfort? Then the most insane question came to his mind; why would she seek comfort from him out of all people? He was aware that she was more comfortable then before in his presence, but that didn’t mean she considered him a friend, or anything. He knew she hadn’t truly forgotten.

Nevertheless, there she was in his arms, as if he had never harmed her.

How could she be so trusting? No, he wouldn’t hurt her, never again, but still. How did she allow herself to forget and forgive like this? It wasn’t a something that he had ever been able to do. Sesshomaru usually carried every grudge with him, never allowing them to leave his mind. However, she was doing the exact opposite. She was giving herself a chance to live. Perhaps her way was much better than his.

It made him see a truth. She was much stronger than most people. Maybe she had no physical strength whatsoever, but she didn’t need it. Her mind and spirit were strong enough to pull her through life. It was quite an admirable quality. Sesshomaru almost found himself wondering why she couldn’t hold the jewel yet. Her heart might be a bit tainted, but the rest of her was so pure it should have over come it.

Suddenly, he noticed she was not shaking anymore. He observed her face and perceived that she was asleep. It wouldn’t surprise him since all that happened must have drained her whole reserve of energy.

“Kagome?” he tried, just to make sure.

He waited a few moments, but she never replied. He loosened his hold on her a bit, which caused her to let go of his shirt. Nearly immediately, her head slipped to his lap and he froze for a second. Quickly to change their position, he grabbed her and laid her down properly in her bed. He checked her forehead to make sure she was not hot, before covering her with a blanket.

Since the urge was still present, he gave in just a bit. He brushed away the hair glued to her face, ever so gently so she would not wake up. Once it was done, he sat on the edge of his own bed, he could not tear his eyes away from her. He had almost heard her heart break after the connection had been interrupted. Rarely had he ever seen her in such pain. He was well aware of what caused it, but there was very little he could do.

She was about to do something difficult and he couldn’t really help. He almost felt angry with himself because of this. There she was laying, looking so fragile and he had this desire to help her carry her burden because he didn’t want to see her crumble under its weight. He felt like protecting her. He ran his fingers through his hair, deciding he had gone insane. When had the miko crept up on him like this?

When had he begun feeling this way?

Sesshomaru wanted to look away, to focus on his own thing, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t glance away from her.

He just wanted to watch her sleep peacefully and a part of him, couldn’t forget how it felt to have her in his arms.

Such a fragile little thing.

-B-
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Blood Stained