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What Matters the Most	By : Avarwen Category: InuYasha > Yaoi - Male/Male > InuYasha/Sessh?maru > InuYasha/Sessh?maru Views: 55388 -:- Recommendations : 4 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
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A/N: Woosh.
Just finished typing out this twelve page thing, and then this chapter, and I am damn near exhausted.
Anyway, someone commented last chapter that they wanted to see Inuyasha�s side of what was going on and, while I originally wasn�t planning on getting this detailed in his side of it, apparently my muses didn�t agree, and this is what ended up coming out.
Sorry it took so long everyone! >_< I�ll try and updated quicker next time! ^_^
Well that�s about all I�ve got to say... guess it�s time for the chapter then, huh? ^_^

DISCLAIMER - Don�t own Inuyasha. Soon though... ^_^

~*~

Erratic Emotions

Inuyasha growled angrily and glared threatening ahead of him at the heavy curtains that hung innocently, concealing the windows, silently daring them to do anything stupid and let him rip them to shreds.
Dammit all!
Everybody was crazy around here!
First that idiotic fox with his damn shrieking mushrooms that had given him a panic attack and a headache to end all headaches; then Takehiko coming in and out all day at random times and forcing him to eat and drink things that usually tasted foul but were supposedly good for him and the pups, while her old hag friend would poke and prod and give him all those thorough (and rather embarrassing) examinations to make sure that the pups were indeed healthy.
And, considering some of the things Takehiko had put him through to make certain that they were, all he could say was that they had better damn well be, or he�d give them the beatings of their life when they finally came out.
And, of course, then there were his parents.
His father wasn�t so bad-- seemed to be the most understanding out of them all, having lived to tell the tale of his own two mate�s being pregnant, so Inuyasha rarely had too many problems with him. His mother though. She was about to drive him up the wall.
He�d have thought that being pregnant before herself would have helped ease some of her fears, but she had become slightly... well, paranoid was the only word he could put to it, and was treating him very much as though he were something extremely delicate that could shatter at any minute.
Not to mention Sesshomaru!
That damn, stupid, idiotic, moron of a bastard!
He was definitely the worst out of all of them!
Not that he actually did anything to piss Inuyasha off.
The exact opposite, in fact, he had done almost nothing to get on his bad side. Or his good side for that matter.
In fact, for the most part it seemed the bastard was just trying to do whatever got the least amount of hysteria out of the hanyou, and otherwise avoid him.
And it was damn well infuriating!
Because he had absolutely no idea what to do in retaliation to his not-quite-timid and less-than-disciplinary mate.
Everything in him was torn about how to react to Sesshomaru.
He wanted to soothe, he wanted to yell, he wanted to cry, he wanted to laugh.
Be submissive, be aggressive, be kind, be angry, be gentle, be comforted... he didn�t know anymore.
It had all jumbled together in his mind to conspire against him.
And, whenever Sesshomaru cam near him... he seemed to set it all off. And Inuyasha... he just exploded all over everything.
He couldn�t help it.
He just went berserk... because... otherwise... he�d go insane.
And he hated it.
Because, more than anything right now, he wanted his brother. His mate.
He wanted to wake up in his arms again, warm and safe, enveloped in his scent and his embrace.
He wanted to kiss him before he went to sleep...
He just... wanted to be with his mate.
He needed to be with his mate.
But he didn�t know how to remain stable long enough to accomplish that.
Sighing, Inuyasha stood up and walked slowly over to stand by the window, drawing back the curtains a little ways so he could stare morosely an accusingly out at the night before him, as though it were the fault of the dark itself that everything was so complicated and confusing right now.
Pulling the drapes even further back, Inuyasha moved to slowly and carefully set himself down on the ledge there, which was made especially large to that someone (or two someones) could sit on it if they liked.
He curled up on the cushioned surface, wrapping himself protectively around the protrusion in his belly, which was shifting oh-so-gently beneath his palms, and let out a sigh that sounded very much defeated.
He just wanted it to be over already!

He knew that everyone thought he was over-reacting. All the time. And sometimes he knew that, because of the pregnancy, he was. But sometimes he wasn�t.
He could tell the difference between pregnancy and real emotions-- he had never not been able to decipher between the two-- he just didn�t always have energy enough to control which of them showed through.
Not always, anyway.
Like when he got angry or startled or when he would begin laughing hysterically for no apparent reason and be unable to remember why later.
Or when he thought throwing things at Sesshomaru and then running away would be a good idea.
But sometimes that was just an excuse.
The pregnancy, while turning him into the resident psycho apparently, had also somewhat enhanced his regular emotions, making him feel very much like he did on the night of the New moon.
And it made him feel just that much more vulnerable.
It made him think of Naraku more.
And, though he hated to admit it, the emotional vulnerability, combined with the thoughts and memories he had of Naraku... scared him.
And he didn�t like being scared.
Especially not in front of others.
So sometimes he would run on purpose, just to gather his thoughts-- to avoid having a real-life break down.
Because, the more he thought about it, the scarier it became.
By youkai laws, he was technically Sesshomaru�s mate. He had been marked, claimed and taken by the demon, so in all aspects he should �belong� to him. Especially since he is the one he marked back.
But, unless Sesshomaru killed them at birth, any pups sired by Naraku would, again, technically belong to the demon-- even out of the union of rape. And that could give Naraku just as much leeway over him and the pups as Sesshomaru had.
And he didn�t want that.
He didn�t want anyone to take him away from Sesshomaru... or take his pups away from him.
Despite his brave façade, he really was scared that was what would happen.
So he tried to force his erratic emotions down and spend time with Sesshomaru... but things would always end up out of control again.
Inuyasha let out another sigh and looked up at the moon.
Dammit!
Why did things have to be so difficult?
All he wanted was his mate during his time of weakness! Was that really so much to ask for?
As if in answer, Sesshomaru�s scent suddenly reached his nose from somewhere nearby (in the hallway, judging by it�s strength), and Inuyasha instantly tensed up slightly, waiting for his erratic hysteria to start up again. He was fairly surprised when, not only did it not come, but neither did Sesshomaru.
The youkai didn�t open the door and come in to him... but he hadn�t left eiher.
And that was... weird.
Inuyasha had known his brother a long time (his entire life in fact) and he had never known Sesshomaru to be uncertain about much of anything, let alone to actually hesitate.

�He�s scared of me.� Part of his mind supplied, and he pressed his ears back.

�No. He�s not scare. He�s just... uncertain.� Another part of his mind replied. Somehow he didn�t find that defence to be all that comforting, as he turned and looked back up at the sky.

�This is just great. I�ve driven my mate away, and am possibly bearing the pups of a psycho who could come and rape or kill me at any second. Just wonderful.�

Inuyasha shook his head, faintly, as he watched the moon.
He smelled the sudden shift and rise of resolve in his mate�s aura and he braced himself, knowing Sesshomaru was going to some in.
Sure enough, a moment later the door slid open and Inuyasha�s youki instantly rose up at the familiar presence of it�s mate, while he himself silently prayed that he didn�t go haywire on Sesshomaru again.

~*~

Glossary

Hanyou - Half-Demon

Youkai - Demon

Youki - A demon�s aura or energy.

~*~

A/N: Well that�s about it for now... hopefully by the next chapter they�ll have gotten that damn door open and Sesshomaru will actually make it into the room. ^_^
Ciao till then!
~Avarwen~
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