Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Strength	By : ajj77sunhawk Category: InuYasha > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 43607 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
- 42
- 43
- 44
Hehe! I am so happy that the death dream scene worked, I could say I am sorry for scaring you – buuuttt *blush* that would be a lie, cause that was obviously the point. What can I say... evil, remember... but in such a fun way!
This chapter has been dying to be written. for all those who review and read your support, and readership is truly, truly appreciated. You are all wonderful and amazing people. Thanks!
Special thanks to Snowfall for her amazing ideas and for Beta'ing my fic. You ROCK!!
Anway READ, REVIEW & ENJOY
Chapter 43 : True Strength
The pulses released sweet numbness through his system. It numbed the agony that Inuyasha had been experiencing; leaving an ache that was utterly negligible to the Hanyou. Inuyasha knew he had to wait for his body to acclimatize itself before he began the actual birthing. He sat, cradled comfortably on the DaiYoukai's lap, for once feeling no embarrassment about the position.
He was calm, at peace. He would bring his pups safely into the world; of that, there was no doubt or hesitation. A quiet confidence filled him. Now that his body was reacting as it should, there was nothing to fear. He had brought one litter of pups into the world, and had assisted in numerous other male birthing. He knew what to do. As for what happened after... his pups would live and that – was enough. The aftermath was not Inuyasha's concern, not anymore.
Inuyasha's peace was disturbed by a choked growl from his mate. He turned slightly and was startled when he saw Sesshoumaru's handsome face twisting in pain. The Daiyoukai's arms around him were exquisitely gentle and protective, and they totally made a lie of the agony contained in Sesshoumaru's eyes.
"Sesshou? Things are fine no. What’s wrong?" Inuyasha asked, a little confused and worried. Did Sesshoumaru know something he did not?
"Wrong? Of course, it’s wrong! The Goddess said that you needed to birth the pups in the best way possible. How... how can this ever be said to be the best way? You have suffered so much!" Sesshoumaru ground out, the guilt eating at him. The chuckling laughter was the last reaction Sesshoumaru expected, and he was unable to bite back the growl of displeasure that escaped his lips.
Inuyasha was not impressed one iota by the growl. He snuggled closer into his mate's arms. "You misunderstood, Sesshoumaru. Suijin did not mean I had to have the best or most comfortable birth possible. She meant that I should have the best support and the best care possible while I was carrying." Inuyasha threaded his fingers through the hair at Sesshoumaru's temple and tucked a long silver strand behind an elfin ear. His hand slid around his mate's head and he drew him down for a long, gentle, and caring kiss.
"This has been the best, Sesshou. You have made it the best. I have slipped, but I have not been allowed to fall. The morning aches sapped my strength and drained the warmth from my bones, but you were there, holding me, feeding me your Youki, and sharing your warmth with me. In the palace, not once was I threatened. Instead, everyone found irritating ways to make things easier and made a nuisance of themselves by making sure I have everything I could want before I even said it." Inuyasha's smile was rueful. His eyes glittered with a warm, engulfing, and forgiving flame.
Sesshoumaru's face softened as gazed deep into Inuyasha's eyes, his long hair encasing the two in further intimacy.
"My pups are safe and loved and cared for," Inuyasha continue and his eyes became teasing. "And me; the hanyou who spent fifty years stuck to a tree with no one giving a rats ass about him, have a son and a mate who go to ridiculous lengths to get my attention to focus on them." Sesshoumaru winced a bit at those words and Inuyasha's smile became a huge grin. "I am pretty sure, Sesshou, you do not realize how cute and freakishly obvious your jealousy of Yuusha is; not to mention, his competitiveness towards you. Adorable." The Hanyou's grin made it apparent that he had NO intention of stepping in to stop the rivalry, not when it provide him with such entertainment. Besides, a little healthy rivalry and competition never hurt, especially when he could see the grudging, but mutual respect between the two.
Sesshoumaru's face twitched in response and gentle claws touched the cheeks of the grinning face. Inuyasha turned his head a little and kissed Sesshoumaru's stroking palm. This was the best way because Sesshoumaru had been with him, beside him. His mouth could not form the words, but the Hanyou's eyes reflected the bright light within.
Sesshoumaru leaned down and his chin brushed Inuyasha's nose while he kissed the full lips in an upside down position. He appreciated Inuyasha's attempt to lighten the mood, but there was too much left unsaid between them. With everything that had occurred, the dreams and the suffering of his Mate, the words burned in the DaiYoukai's soul.
"I am sorry Inuyasha. I am so sorry I failed you," Sesshoumaru whispered. Inuyasha frowned and was about to protest, but Sesshoumaru pressed a claw to his lips. "Hush, my Mate, this needs to be said. The madness, just before it took me, I knew, I knew that it would doom me. As I pushed Rin away from me, I knew that my own strength was not enough to save me. I failed myself. Then, miraculously I was saved. My sanity returned. Inuyahsa, that last time I took you, I had begun to return to myself. A part of me was horrified, but the demon inside me, my baser self, knew only pleasure."
Sesshoumaru's speech was slow. His eyes met then slid away from Inuyasha's, one hand unconsciously stroking Moko Moko.
"I was raping my little brother and I could not stop my self. And, a twisted part of me was enjoying it. I was disgusted and ashamed, but not with you Inuyasha; with myself. Never at you. Then the madness left and a semblance of sanity returned." Sesshoumaru hesitated. His eyes were glassy and his hand sought the mating mark on Inuyasha's neck. He needed to touch it.
"You lay there in blood, broken, but… somehow... victorious. You saved me, and in that instant, all I wanted to do was to lose myself in your warmth once again. I could not stand myself. My shame was so great that, if Bakusaiga had been in my hand at that moment, I would have chosen an honourable death." Sesshoumaru paused and inhaled deeply.
As Sesshoumaru pressed his palm to the mating mark, Inuyasha watched with hooded eyes, the birth forgotten. At the moment, this was much more important.
"But the easy way was not available. Demons fight to survive. At that moment, the only way I could survive what I had done was to blame the one who had saved me, do as I had always done, blame you, the only true innocent in the whole mess. So, I did." Sesshoumaru finally met Inuyasha's eyes full on. "I am so sorry, my Mate. I would give anything to take back the words I had said. Even then, I had not meant them. They were a poor and weak defence." Sesshoumaru rubbed his face to ease the feeling of overwhelming guilt he was experiencing.
"It took me months, if not years, to face it, to accept my failings. When the pups were born, I felt agony without understanding it. I was torn apart internally, and all I really knew was that I deserved it. My life was empty, and nothing could fill the emptiness. I did not understand it." Sesshoumaru's fingers traced the strong lines of Inuyasha's face. "Every time I traveled, even in the heat of battle, my eyes always sought the flash of silver and red. Unconsciously, I searched for you. Always, always, my eyes, my heart, searched for you."
Inuyasha's eyes clouded. "I'm sorry, Sesshou, I did not mean for you to suffer. I just..."
"Hush, Pup! You were right. Keeping the pups away from me was the right thing to do. At that time, I would have hurt you, hurt our pups. I needed the loneliness. I needed to understand the isolation of having nothing before I could appreciate you in the manner you deserve." Sesshoumaru took some strands of Inuyasha's hair between his fingers and placed a reverent kiss on the cottony hank in his hand. "We are a family now because of what you did Inuyasha. You are totally without blame. This Sesshoumaru is the one who failed. Once I accepted that, what else could I do except see what a wonder you are? Your strength, your compassion, your beauty, and above all, your heart; you captivated me. I love you, Inuyasha, so very, very much."
"My mate. My Inuyasha. You come before the pups, and I will not allow you to escape me. You have captured my heart, Inuyasha. Take responsibility. Do not allow me to escape you. With all that is in me, I love you Inuyasha. I will tear out the heart in the body of anyone who dares come between us, my Love, and I will swallow their hearts while it still beats in my palms. None who interfere will be allowed to live. I love you, my Mate."
Inuyasha blushed, he was more then a little flustered by the romantic words; he wanted to melt. However, Sesshoumaru did not know the whole story. Inuyasha inhaled as his body pulsed, he had to finish this conversation. Sesshoumaru was not the only one responsible. He had a confession that he needed to make as well.
Sesshoumaru, seeing the sudden hesitation, raised a mobile brow. "Umm…Sessshou, actually, well, there is something I have to tell you as well, and possibly now is the best time, cause you can't get mad," Inuyasha rushed to say. In spite of the oozing belly, and the seriousness of Sesshoumaru's confession, the Hanyou suddenly looked suspiciously like Kishi, who had been caught with a hand in the cookie jar.
"You see, ummm, one of the reasons... umm... no ... actually the main reason why this pregnancy is so bad is because I kinda… didn't follow the long list of things I was supposed to do the first year after the pup's were born to make sure the next litter of pups would be safe," Inuyasha blurted out.
A long silence followed that statement.
Inuyasha laughed a little nervously when Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed. He hurried on, "Well, you see, Suijin said that if I didn't do the stuff on the list, I would have problems with the next birthing, but I didn't really think I would ever have another litter. So, I didn’t really care. So... well… the fact that the pregnancy was hard... umm, kinda, sorta... maybe... had a small thing to do with that."
Inuyasha could have explained that he had been so sure that his scarred body was so damned ugly, he had been sure no one would ever want to be with him, let alone love him. The Hanyou could have defended his actions, saying that his first experience at sex had been so horrible that he never wanted to experience it again. He could have lamented about how he had to protect his pups, and how there had been no one to help him, so he had to do what he had to do. Inuyasha could have said a lot of things... but he did not.
He had been given a list of what to do and what not to do, and even the best reasons and justifications in the world could not change the fact that it was he who had basically ignored the limitations on his actions.
He was responsible; it was his actions and decisions that had guided him. He was mature enough to carry the weight of that responsibility without seeking to justify it.
Sesshoumaru felt his jaw tighten and his eyes narrowed. "How many? How many items were there on the list?'
Puppy ears drooped a little. "Ummm, just thirty-seven items. Thirty things I should avoid in the first year and seven things I needed to do. I did the six of the seven things" Inuyasha defended himself.
"Oh, excellent." Sesshoumaru's voice was ridiculously mild. His finger absently found the drooping ear and caressed it to straightness. "And of the thing you were NOT supposed to do… you did?"
"Ummm... ahh.. well... ummm... thirty things." Inuyasha whispered. "So, I kinda brought this on myself," Inuyasha said a little painfully. He glanced away, his eyes suddenly apprehensive. "So, you see, your guilt is misplaced. This is my fault, Sesshoumaru, and I understand if you blame me, an...and can’t love me anymore." The words trailed off.
Sesshoumaru dropped his lips to the crown of his puppy's head. "Foolish pup. The only thing this Sesshoumaru cannot do is stop loving you. This is not your fault. I know there is much more to this then you are saying. And, I know enough to accept that the only reason you went through what you did was because I failed you." Sesshoumaru's finger stopped Inuyasha's protest. "I will also respect your decision in this and not squander our future by lamenting the past. Know this however, in this Sesshoumaru's eyes, you are as pure as driven snow. Your strength, your compassion, and even your annoyingly endearing habits, all have captivated me. My Mate, My love, just simply Mine. I love you."
A choked sob of joyful relief escaped Inuyasha, but before he could respond, a nudge from deep inside drew his attention to the birthing sac. The pups were ready to be born. There was no more time for romantic sentiments.
Inuyasha's body tensed a little and his palms dropped to his belly. Their attention shifted as the couple focused on the now. The essence of the conversation, however, would never be forgotten, and another link was added. An extra layer of foundation was laid in the relationship between the two.
The birthing lines throbbed and Inuyasha focused on steadying his breath while his mate carefully wiped his belly clean of the birthing fluids, rubbing soothing oil on the area. The numbing pulse flooded his system and Inuyasha made the first incision. He cut along the original birthing lines, but he hardly felt any pain. He breathed deeply and was comforted by his mate's soothing mutterings and gentle cleansing of the blood. The second pulse came, and Inuyasha made the second cut.
Sesshoumaru could do little else except mop up the excess blood and hold his mate. He watched with horrified fascination as Inuyasha so calmly sliced himself open. Sesshoumaru gulped. He was man enough to admit that he would never, ever be able to do this himself with the same stoic fortitude that his beloved beta was showing.
The third pulse came, and Inuyasha plunged his hand into the open cavity. The sight made Sesshoumaru squirm as his mind flashed back to the time it was his hand that had plundered mercilessly and deep into his baby brother. The major difference was that his hand, then, had been an instrument of pain and death, while Inuyasha's hand now sought to bring life into the world.
Sesshoumaru felt Inuyasha's youki begin to falter. As he had tried to do earlier, he pumped his Youki into Inuyasha. Once again, he felt a barrier that stopped Inuyasha from accepting his Youki. The barrier that had formed when the birthing lines began to leak was still present. Sesshoumaru's heart sank. Inuyasha had explained that during the period when the birthing lines began to leak and the birthing sac was breeched, the other father would not be able to share Youki with his mate. It was a protective feature to stop the other father from prematurely draining themselves, and it usually worked well. Inuyasha's case was, of course, the exception. What had been meant by nature to protect the pups and ease the birthing had almost killed Inuyasha instead.
As Inuyasha breeched the birthing sac, and took the first pup gently into his hand, the barrier that had prevented Sesshoumaru from merging his Youki with Inuyasha vanished. Sweet relief filled Sesshoumaru when his Youki drained from him and filled his mate.
Inuyasha felt Sesshoumaru's Youki fill him as he pulled the first pup from his body. There were no words Inuyasha could use to describe it. He felt wonderful, simply euphoric. The tiny pup sat, snug in the palm of his hand, a little larger than Me-chan when she had been born, and smaller than his boys. The female pup cried softly at the loss of her warm place under here Papa's heart. Inuyasha nuzzled her and she stopped crying.
Sesshoumaru reached around and carefully took the pup from his mate. The Daiyoukai was amazed at the tiny perfect being. He finished the cleaning of the pup, his long licks warming the tiny babe. Sesshoumaru swaddled the pup in a specially made alpaca blanket. His Youki reached out, and as he promised, he connected with the pup. His energy reassured the Pup that he was her Alpha Father and that he would care for her and her precious Papa. Sesshoumaru placed the pup securely on his free thigh and immediately switched his focus back to his mate.
Inuyasha's body was shuddering. Even with the numbing pulses, the edge of pain was beginning to return. He was exhausted. There was, however, one more pup anxious to be born. The pulse flooded his system and Inuyasha plunged his hand into his opened belly. The pup was wiggling anxiously for him, and the Hanyou carefully pulled the membrane-covered pup from the confines of his belly. The pup squirmed in his hand and Sesshoumaru took over, cupping the pup in his hands to stop the wiggling wonder. With Sesshoumaru holding it more securely, Inuyasha was able to greet and lick the active bundle.
Sesshoumaru repeated his earlier actions, and placed the pups, side by side, on Inuyasha's chest. Both parents made incisions on Inuyasha's upper chest. Blood bubbled out and both pups instinctively lapped it up, their parents’ love-filled eyes watching them.
Inuyasha's smile could not be any larger. His two new pups were alive, healthy, and safe. He could see the bond forming between Sesshoumaru and the pups. With the birthing over, the pulses faded from his system. As they disappeared, pain returned. The open wounds burned, and Inuyasha's insides felt scrambled and wrong. The euphoria from having healthy pups died, leaving him with a dragging sense of fatigue. He was tired... so damnably tired.
He could not think of what else he had to do. Maybe he just needed to rest for a while. His eyes fluttered closed, even though he could hear the voice of his mate calling him. But, he just had no energy to respond.
Sesshoumaru felt his mate sag against him. He called out to Inuyasha, however, the Hanyou did not stir and his breathing became shallow. Quickly and efficiently, Sesshoumaru placed the pups in a basket beside them. They were dear to him, but for now they faded from his thoughts. One word echoed in his head and heart; Inuyasha!
The birthing was over. It was now up to Sesshoumaru to heal his mate and bring the family together.
-tbc-
Look I wanted this shorter cause I thought I could finish it in this chapter, but Snowfall said that READERS want details and depth. So OKAY! (Stop nagging :P) If you feel I am dragging this out tell me please, or if this is really okay. Cause I can finish in the next chapter or add 2 or 3 more.
What do you think of the Sesshy inu chat? Okay?
Final note : On plagiarizing : I know and have reported, feel free to comment in Fiction mimics reality (on the plagerizing site) Thank God Aff management is more responsive. But please do not feed trolls in Strength. Please review on the contents of this story and on what you want to see next, and forget about unimportant and trivial matters. Love SunHawk!!!
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Strength