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In a New Light	By : Sylean Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Naraku/Kagome Views: 17606 -:- Recommendations : 5 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha nor do I make any profit from this story.

Chapter List
- 42
- 43
- 44
In a New Light

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha nor do I make any profit from this story.

Warning: There will be lemons in this story, some non-con as well.

Chapter 42: Already "Dead"

(A/N: I absolutely love all the reviews. Makes me giddy for the rest of the day.)

Water, cold and biting, did nothing to bring her any sensation; Kagome was numb to the outside world. Whether wallowing in the lake, adding her own tears to its depths, or being hauled over to the fire and wrapped in warm blankets, she could not determine the difference. The pain inside overshadowed anything that could possibly happen to her body and the screaming agony in her mind drowned out the concerned voices around her. 'I thought he loved me, I thought he changed! Why would he do this? Was everything just a sick scheme? Was he really just using me? If that was the case, why was he so sad?' the thoughts blurred together, variations and repetitions playing over and over. The tears continue to seep out, her eyes burning and her breath quivering. 'How did I misunderstand? I was sure he cared about me too...'

"What do you think happened to her?" Sango asked from a ways away, not that they needed distance, since even as they would ask Kagome to her face if she was alright, she didn't even seem to see them, let alone hear them.

"I have no idea, I've never seen her look so distraught," Miroku was just as baffled. She told them she was taking a walk around the lake, how had that turned so bad?

"Do you think it has something to do with that maze? She hasn't really been acting herself since. Maybe she was upset then, but held it in?" Sango probed, hoping to spark something.

"If that was the case, she would have stopped when we found her," Miroku pointed out. "Something more must have happened during her walk."

"She was soaking wet, which made it so Inuyasha couldn't find any scents on her to hint at the cause," Sango spoke her thoughts out loud. "The only times I ever saw her even half this upset was when Inuyasha would go off with Kikyo…" Sango gasped, suddenly suspecting the reason. "Miroku, do you think that maybe," she lowered her voice so only he would hear, "she's heartbroken."

"I was beginning to suspect the same thing myself," Miroku admitted.

Sango growled thinking of what that demon could have done to hurt Kagome, "I'll kill him for this!"

Hunched over her bent knees, Kagome knew her relationship with Naraku might cause her to lose one or the other; her friends, or him, but had been mentally preparing herself to lose her friends and never expected the opposite. Losing him hurt worse than she could have ever imagined. 'Naraku,' even her mind spoke in whimpers, 'why? Didn't you love me at all?'

The instant Kagome fled, Naraku collapsed to the floor and roared out his own distress. He had to make her leave when he did or she would have seen his weakness for her. Her tears, they hurt more than anything and he was barely able to speak. How had things taken such a turn; he didn't even let her speak, why? Because he was scared. He, Naraku, one of the most feared beings in Japan, was petrified of a mere human's words; words that could potentially cause him pain worse than death. When she tried to speak, he cut her off, unable to bear it if she actually… but now, now he would never know; he would never know what she was about to say.

His hands, they could not strike her. He had tried, as she laid on the ground sobbing; tried to form a fist and silence her, but he could not. Her tears, a direct result of his harsh lies, he thought it would bring him relief to see her break, lift some of his pain if he knew he was not the only one in agony, but it did the opposite. It tore the hole inside him larger. As it turns out, he couldn't hurt her, not only physically as he was restricted with Kikyo by Onigumo, but emotionally. He felt even more broken now than he had before she came to him. Wasn't that what he wanted, to see her? Yet, he could not handle it, and sent her away with an empty threat of death. How had she managed to reduce him to this?

They were still without answers, but at least the tears had ceased their constant flow. Kagome would still break down and sob uncontrollably, but it was only when they would stop or when some random object or act would illicit memories. She insisted on moving constantly, for the second she was left to think, the pain would return. Inuyasha had even taken notice of this, and while keeping an unbearably slow pace, kept them moving, even if they had no direction. Something was wrong with her, and none of them could get her to talk about it.

Identifying their helplessness, Miroku suggested concernedly, "Maybe you should go home for a bit, Kagome."

"I can't; I can't go home yet! Please don't make me. Please, please, don't send me away," his suggestion only brought on a violent bought of tears as she fell to her knees and crumpled on the ground at his feet.

"Alright, alright," Miroku tried to placate swiftly as the others looked at him accusingly, wondering exactly what he told her.

'If I stay here, then I can pretend; I can pretend that it was all imagined,' Kagome's mind screamed at her. 'But if I go back, my mother will know, and make me talk, and then it would be real. I can't tell anyone. No one can help me through this.'

"Miroku, what the hell did you say to her?" Inuyasha leapt to his side snarling.

"Nothing, I only asked if she wanted to go home," Miroku explained. "I have no idea why she reacted so explosively to it, honest!"

The pain, it never ceased, but he learned to suppress it, mostly. The Jewel had driven him to continue with his plans, promising a way to release himself of her hold once it was completed. To assist in this, it posed that he let a minor demon out, to serve him. That way, he wouldn't have to plan for an incarnation betraying him. He agreed, and gave his flesh to allow the spirit, Byakuya, servitude under him.

"Ah, how nice it is to be able to move again," the light voice commented on the refreshing mobility. "So, which shards should I collect first, Naraku?"

"Kouga has two shards," Naraku told him with a bitter lackluster. "Start there. I'm sure killing a few wolf demons will lure him out easy enough."

"Oh, and it would darken the jewel even more, too," Byakuya thought about how angry the wolf would look.

"And Byakuya," Naraku added. "You are not to kill Inuyasha or his group. They are mine."

"As you command," the dream demon conjured a large paper crane and floated off to do as commanded.

With each group dispatched with orders, Naraku sat in the mountainside temple with Kanna, watching each of the scenes play out. Kagura finally moved against him, joining Hakudoshi and the infant in an attempt to overthrow him. They had no idea the futility of their actions; this is what he expected after all. Byakuya carried out his task, following orders only because his aim was the same as Naraku's. The jewel spirit's life was tied to Naraku's own. It was a way to ensure he did not try to go against him. And Kagome, he could not bring himself to look upon her, could not order Kanna to show him. The sight, she may be in the arms of Inuyasha, and that was not something he wanted to see. Instead, he would have Kanna keep tabs on all the groups, "Kanna, monitor their movements." As much as he wanted to know, he could not issue that command.

Heavy steps, scraping along the dirt road, just enough effort to catch her body weight before it fell into the earth. On and on they walked, as Kagome remained lost in her haze of grief. She barely lifted her head up when they stopped suddenly, only enough to see the reason, Sesshomaru. She ambled over to a stone and sat, unconcerned and unafraid. What reason had she to worry, either he would kill her or he wouldn't, and she wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Maybe if she left him be he'd return the sentiment and ignore her presence too. She was not worried about Inuyasha; he always managed to defend against Sesshomaru. Those two never killed each other, and whereas she didn't know the reasons, the past confrontations never differed. They argue, fight, one of them gets injured, and then the victor leaves.

The clashing of swords finally stopped and she figured the battle was over. She saw Inuyasha brought to the ground and Sesshomaru walking away from the downed boy, but towards her. She looked away from the powerful and volatile dog striding her direction. Her sight was elsewhere when his claws touched her neck. She didn't even move, as lifeless as Kohaku had been when caught in those same claws. His claws against her skin were what finally prompted dull words from her, "Are you going to kill me, Sesshomaru? You said you were…" Her lack of concern for what was going on around her, lingering scent of salt, and the saddened aura spoke volumes.

Checking under her shirt's collar for a mating mark, he was actually surprised when there was not one there, 'She is still unmarked.' He narrowed his eyes at what that meant. 'He resisted.' Naraku denied his instincts, and instead cast her away. "You are already dead; he has made sure of that," his unexpected words made her gasp and tears welled up again, for he was right. "Killing you now would be an act of mercy. You will suffer."

'The fool, Naraku, he will break under his own weight,' Sesshomaru thought as he strode away elegantly. For a demon rejecting their instincts, was a sure way to lose themselves to utter madness.

"What are we going to do about Kagome?" Sango asked as the mentioned girl laid asleep in her tear soaked sleeping bag. She had been crying herself to sleep for many nights now.

"She isn't getting any better and we aren't making any progress at this rate," Inuyasha agreed, sitting around the fire and watching the less than steady breathes coming from his first friend.

"I'm scared to suggest she go home again, after last time," Miroku sighed, having no clue what so propose.

"I want mama to be happy; who did this to her?" Shippo whimpered.

"We have no idea," Inuyasha shook his head.

"Actually, I might," Sango started.

"Sango, no," Miroku tried to stop her, knowing that if Inuyasha learned about Kagome's lover he was bound to either go off and try to hunt him down or yell at the girl. Either way, it would do no good.

"Miroku, we've kept it secret long enough and you know as well as I do that this is probably the reason for her depressed state. It might help," Sango pressed, not to be deterred.

"Very well," he gave up.

"What have you two been keeping from me?" Inuyasha growled.

"Kagome, she has, or rather, we suspect she had, a lover," Sango told him as delicately as possible.

"What!" Inuyasha snapped loudly, fangs bared.

"Quiet, or you'll wake her," Sango reminded and he sat down reluctantly.

"I started noticing something was up with her around the time when you and Sesshomaru caused Naraku to disappear to Mt. Hakurei," Miroku explained.

"And I, well, I kind of caught her in the act," Sango blushed.

"With who?" Inuyasha ground out.

"That's the thing, we didn't want to tell you because we knew you would overreact on her," Sango tried to rationalize their reason for keeping this a secret.

"Who?" he repeated, his snarl intensifying.

"She is in a vulnerable state, don't make it worse, or we might lose her forever," Sango implored before steeling herself for the outrage that was sure to come. "Sesshomaru."

"What? You got to be kidding me?" he fidgeted, torn between hunting down a good for nothing dog and shouting at Kagome, but kept his place by the fire, with difficulty.

"We're not. Think about it, he showed up and took her away for a week; he hasn't killed her even after she's yelled at him; and earlier, why else would she have started crying if it wasn't him?" Miroku pointed out the evidence they had.

"You are sure its him?" Inuyasha attempted to clarify before acting. He could not imagine his human-hating brother even looking a human, let alone bedding one.

"Well, it's the only thing that makes sense," Sango told him.

"At first, we thought you were sleeping with her, but after I asked you and you said no, there was only one other demon with silver hair that we know of," Miroku explained how they came to this conclusion. It was always possible that it was some other demon none of them knew that had silver hair, but this was the only lead they had.

"And you think its that bastard's fault that she is so upset; he's the one who made her cry?" Inuyasha growled, his voice rising with each word.

"We think so," Miroku clarified, using his hands to signal that they needed to keep the volume down, "but until she says anything, please keep this to yourself. We don't need to hurt her anymore."

"Why would she hide it from me like this?" Inuyasha crossed his arms and huffed, thinking Kagome would tell him anything, especially if it was bothering her this much. He'd even make the jerk pay for hurting her if she wanted. Or probably, even if she didn't.

"She was afraid you would get angry at her; scared of all of our reactions," Sango sighed, knowing that it was a very real possibility. She had a bit of anger at first too, but mostly at the concealment. "There is another thing," Sango broke the silence. "Kagome told me some things when we were alone. She told me he wanted her to be his mate."

"She must have hit her head or something. Sesshomaru bedding a human is uncharacteristic enough, but mating one, never," Inuyasha was just not connecting these dots; it was impossible.

"Maybe he changed his mind, or she misunderstood and that's why she's upset?" Miroku suggested.

"We'll never know for sure until she tells us, lets just give her time," Shippo spoke up again, surprising the group at his maturity. He just didn't want her to be hurt anymore.
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In a New Light