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In a New Light	By : Sylean Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Naraku/Kagome Views: 17606 -:- Recommendations : 5 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha nor do I make any profit from this story.

Chapter List
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In a New Light

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha nor do I make any profit from this story.

Warning: There will be lemons in this story, some non-con as well.

Chapter 43: Unexpected Comfort

(A/N: Thank you so much for all the glowing reviews! I greatly appreciate every single one. :D It makes it so hard to only post one chapter at a time, but I resist the urge to throw all the rest of them up because then I wouldn't have anything left (ie. already written) to post for you guys. Your patience will pay off, only 5 chapters left, including this one. My classes end in 2 weeks, so hopefully I can make some progress on the sequel by the time this one is done, no guarantees though.)

He kept himself locked away, hidden in shadows. Naraku would not let the sun touch his skin; he couldn't stand the sight. It was too bright, too lively, too something, just like her. The night, the darkness, was where he belonged. It seemed that everything sparked one memory or another and he was seeing her face everywhere. He couldn't sleep, or even close his eyes for a second, because she would be there.

Nothing seemed to matter. He continued with his previous plans, trusting what he had derived previously, but lacked the inspiration to do anything elaborate. Days passed at an agonizing pace and the solitude he once loved, haunted him. There was no way Kagome could climb this cliff, so why did he keep thinking he saw her standing in the darkest corner. He would sense it if her companions actually came here, and there was not a hint. She could not possibly be here; it was his heart playing cruel tricks on him. With all others gone from this shrine, he could let his expression reflect his state. It was only when one would return to report or get new orders that he needed to become his evil self again. It was a façade that did not fool Byakuya.

"The wolf demon was rescued by Inuyasha, but the boy seemed to be having difficulty with his sword," Byakuya told Naraku. "Are you sure I shouldn't have just finished him off myself? Or perhaps you would rather have him use that sword to kill Moryomaru?" Byakuya inquired, stealthily planting ideas and suggestions just as the jewel had earlier. He did not like this slow approach.

"Will Inuyasha be destroyed by his own sword, or will he find Moryomaru and kill him first?" Naraku asked no one in particular. "I can't wait to find out." The evasive attitude was not missed; Byakuya could see that Naraku was only putting on an act, hiding his misery.

"Naraku, it is no secret that you do not seem to be yourself," Byakuya's bold comment was only met with a fierce glare of real emotion. "I would suggest a good massacre to revitalize your soul," the jewel spirit proposed in an uplifting voice. "There are several villages nearby that could use a little pest control."

Naraku did not respond, but thought to himself how that did not sound like a bad idea. Worst-case scenario is it would do nothing, but perhaps it would prove to be a temporary distraction. Rising to his feet, he wordlessly took the recommendation. Stepping up to the balcony, the moonlight glinted off of his midnight hair. He had no direction in mind as he launched himself from the wooden structure and flew through the sky in his barrier.

Damned memories kept bombarding him; there was a time when he held Kagome to him on a night like this, as he flew to show her why slaughter could be beneficial. How ironic then when the first human settlement he found was that of a burning village being raided by bandits. He set himself down and surveyed the carnage. Shifting himself to appear a mere nobleman of the village, he retracted all of his demon appendages. He strode over the bloodied bodies towards where the commotion beckoned with a coldness to him to surpass even Sesshomaru.

"Hey," one of the bandit's voices called out, "looks like we missed one." The human charged and Naraku did not even bother to defend, simply let the spear slice into his torso without the slightest show of pain.

Another man came running up, "Did you get him?"

"Yeah," he laughed as Naraku slowly brought his eyes up to see the scum that thought to assault him. "But the fool is acting tough and needs a little more punishment." Naraku sighed, bored with their predictable actions and pulled the spear from his side, healed instantly, and tossed it aside. He strode right passed the two men as they hollered at him. "Hey, where do you think you're going?"

Were they really so dense? Without even slowing his stride, he let his extensions sprout back over his body and skewered the two men on his tails before tossing their bodies into the town square for the rest of the band to find. A few huts later and he saw his handiwork. The fear and confusion painted their ugly faces nicely and without even the crack of a smirk, he began killing them mercilessly. They had already slain everyone that lived in the village, as was evident by the felled bodies of farmers, elders, women, and children; all inconsequential to the depressed demon as the bandits dropped next to their victims. Some ran away, and he didn't even have the inclination to chase them down, but when he sliced the neck of one man attempting a reckless frontal attack, the blood splattered into a hut and drew a terrified, feminine gasp. A human would not have heard the faint sound over the gurgling scream of the bleeding man, but he had.

With eyes that had seen too much and a heart that had felt too deeply, he entered the building to see a young woman clutching a small boy, no older than five, in her arms and trying to shield him with her petite body. Mechanically, as he had so many times, he rose his arm to strike the pair down until the woman turned and looked straight at him and in that instant, he could have sworn he saw Kagome. Its origin unknown, the image of the young priestess shielding the small kit that called her mama, replaced that of the village girl.

"Mama?" the child whimpered.

"Shhh, it'll be okay, it'll be okay," she shushed into his hair even though her voice was quivering just as much, bracing for impact.

"Kagome…" the name slipped from his lips barely louder than a whisper as he hesitated. The child turned and looked up as Naraku lowered his transformed arm to his side, letting it resume its normal form before swiftly striding from the hut. Still looking at the demon with childlike naiveté, the boy watched as the demon roared to the sky with a quality that sounded like he was in pain, before he left in a swirl of purple mist.

Returning to the secluded shrine in a rushed manner, Naraku found his incarnations, those both loyal and not, had returned in his absence just as the sun was threatening to engulf his form. He found his way to the darkest corner and set down. Having his aura unleashed and unrestrained displayed clearly that he was not to be approached.

"That didn't seem to help matters any," Byakuya commented to himself. He was sure a bit of killing couldn't do any harm, not to Naraku.

"I think we lost him," one of the escaped bandits panted to the others.

"I don't see it following us," another agreed.

"What a frightful demon; if I ever see another demon again it would be too soon," the third declared.

"Tell me why you three smell like Naraku," Inuyasha demanded of the three men, landing in the center of the dirt path just as the rest of his group caught up behind him. Kagome was riding Kirara with Sango and Miroku ran along side.

"Ah, another demon!" they shrieked and moved to run away but were blocked by a large, snarling cat.

"They look like ordinary bandits," Miroku commented, from a third direction, surrounding the group. "Are you sure they smell like Naraku?"

"No mistaking it," Inuyasha snarled. "Do you work for him? You reek of human blood."

"We don't know any Naraku, honest," they stood back to back in defense. "We did attack a village, but we ran when a horrible demon came and started killing all of our comrades. We don't know any more."

"It's got to be Naraku," Inuyasha growled, only hearing what he wanted. Naraku was killing, but so had these men.

"We will let you go if you promise to change your ways and never hurt innocent people again," Miroku suggested.

"We promise!" they chimed.

'It won't matter,' Kagome thought dismally. 'When they find life too hard they will only revert back into these old habits; they have no reason not to.'

"Lets go," Inuyasha decided. "I smell blood, and miasma."

"This must be the village," Sango spoke to Kagome behind her as they flew over, looking for survivors among the scorched wood.

"There," Kagome pointed towards some movement. Someone was trying to hide beneath a collapsed roof. "I saw something." Kirara landed and Sango leapt off to investigate and found a woman holding a child.

"G-get away," she stuttered.

"It's okay, we won't hurt you," She held out her hand and the woman finally noticed the person was human, and a woman. Peeking out of her shelter, she looked around and saw another girl riding atop a demon cat. Her fear reared back up and she ducked back inside. "Don't worry, its safe. Kirara won't hurt you. Let me help you." Tentatively, the woman slipped her hand into Sango's and she pulled them out. Right about this time, Inuyasha and Miroku came running up and frightened the woman, making her hide behind Sango.

"Any survivors?" Miroku asked.

"Yeah, these two are the only ones we've found," she gestured to behind her.

Kagome slipped from Kirara's back and the cat turned into her smaller, cuter form. "Are either of you hurt," she asked gently, kneeling down to the child's height.

"We are not," the woman replied skittishly. "Who are you people?"

"We're friends," Kagome gave them a small, but genuine, smile. "Its okay, you're safe with us. We'll help you find a new home."

"Can you tell me, what happened here?" Miroku asked slowly.

"The bandits, they killed… everyone," the mother spoke shakily. "It was horrible. And then this demon came, and the screams outside… he started killing the bandits, before coming for us. I don't know why he didn't kill us; he was standing right there."

"That spiky guy with the tails," the child prattled on innocently, "he looked so sad." Kagome's heart clenched, touched that Naraku spared them and in pain for him all the same.

"Be quiet, Kono," the mother reprimanded. "That thing was a fearsome demon, it's a miracle we are alive."

'Naraku, this is so similar to that night that you helped me rescue those women from the corrupt army. Did you set this up? What was the point of showing me why you kill, all those months ago, if you were only using me? It would not have been necessary. There are many examples of times when you went out of your way for me. Was it all just to hurt me more in the end? What about those times we spent at the castle, speaking so easily, or that night in the cave… It just doesn't make sense why you'd go so elaborate only to use me,' Kagome didn't even realize her thoughts had gotten so intense to make her start crying again until the little boy wiped a tear from her cheek.

"You are sad too," he spoke innocently. "Its okay, we are safe now." She nodded and swallowed back her grief, for his sake. Children never missed a thing.

They took the mother and child to a nearby village before continuing on. It would have been more comfortable to stay, but the day was not over and waiting around was not an option with Kagome's state. They found themselves at the crest of a grassy knoll at the edge of a forest, but instead of going straight to bed and crying herself to sleep, as Kagome would normally do, she instead seated herself off alone. Her knees were pulled up to her chest and with arms wrapped around them and her chin resting atop. No tears fell, despite the need to bawl, but she just couldn't get the anguish to leave her body. Every time she felt she had gotten it all out, it would only replenish its infinite supply and begin anew. What was the point?

She looked to the tall grass stems beside her and saw the moistened, silk strands of a broken web. The little creature that made it maneuvered around the dewdrops into the center in a methodical order, careful to not misstep and catch itself in the silken trap. She stared mesmerized by the intricacy as the arachnid repaired the torn segments, slowly making the structure resume its flawless form. The meticulous craft, beautiful and alluring, but so very deadly; she had been caught up in a lethal web herself, a web she almost wished she could be bound in again if only to relive those beautiful moments. He drew her in with false claims and promises of all she ever wanted, gave her a taste of what he had to offer, only to crush her and watch her writhe and struggle in the binds. Even now, even after everything, she still didn't want to believe it.

'I was so happy with him,' Kagome lamented her loss. So incredibly happy that she could not imagine this happening. No one had ever made her feel like that; no one had made her feel alive, invigorated, and so very safe. 'All I wanted was to give him the same feeling.' She wanted him to experience what it was like to be loved unconditionally, to have everything he ever wanted in his arms. 'I wanted to be that for him, but it seems, I was not good enough for him either.'

Off to the side, her friends watched her pain as it radiated around her. Her emotions were impossible to hide and they had no idea how to help her. The only person who could cheer her up, was the only one who would not. A breeze ruffled Inuyasha's hair and brought with it a scent, one that he could never ignore.

"Kikyo," he whispered and turned his attention to see her striding smoothly from the forest.

He stood, but she did not address her lover and instead walked right past him, her sights set on the pitiful figure of her broken reincarnation. Inuyasha didn't even have the reaction time to ask what she was here for before she blocked him out with a holy barrier. Her graceful, silent strides brought her alongside the girl before she settled into the grass and spoke, "I have erected a barrier; the others cannot hear us."

"Why'd you do that? Did you come here to gloat, tell me how foolish I was and that you told me so?" she bit out, sounding more exhausted and bitter than she wanted.

"No, I simply wished to ease your suffering. I understand how you feel," Kikyo explained, alluding to the circumstances of her own death. She had felt the torment in Kagome's soul, since the two were still slightly linked, and sought to alleviate it.

'That's right,' Kagome remembered, 'even if it was concocted, Kikyo felt Inuyasha's betrayal. The betrayal of someone she loved and trusted dearly. Same as I did Naraku.' The recollection, someone who understood and whom she could talk too, broke the crumbling dams holding back the flood of tears. Without restraint, Kagome started crying anew, blubbering as she threw herself at Kikyo in an awkward embrace. Her hands clung to the fabric of the red and white priestess robes she had once hated, sobbing out, "Why would he do this to me?"

The desperate actions had the others, watching from outside the soundproof barrier, unbearably confused. They had thought Kagome and Kikyo to be on very shaky ground and perhaps even to be enemies and yet Kikyo was the one who got Kagome to open up.

"There are no easy answers that can heal your heart," Kikyo spoke as she patted Kagome's back. "Once you realize that, you will find peace."

"I gave myself to him, Kikyo, I gave him my innocence, I did exactly as he asked," Kagome professed in hysterics. "I don't understand why he got so upset with me. Was it something I did? Maybe he found someone else. The things he said to me where so cruel, and yet, I still want him back; I still love Naraku."

Kikyo said no more, simply let Kagome cry out all her pain and speak her thoughts. She had held it in long enough, having no one she could tell without judgment; she needed this. Eventually, Kagome once again cried herself to sleep, but this time it was in Kikyo's lap. Lifting the girl from her, she lay her down in the grass and stood to leave. Dropping the barrier, she sternly instructed the others not to press the matter, "Kagome will tell if she chooses. Pressuring her will only cause more pain." Her words left them rather stunned that she was able to help their friend and she drifted back into the forest like the specter she was.

The pain of Kagome's perceived betrayal was reaching a crescendo, and Naraku was becoming increasingly erratic in his actions and commands. His latest orders made very little sense as he sent them off in separate directions. The only congruity or order in their tasks was that he wanted them away from him. "Chase" down Kouga, observe Sesshomaru and don't get caught, interrogate Inuyasha but do not start a fight; all impossible orders. Kagura and Kanna were the pair sent after Inuyasha, whereas Byakuya was trailing the most hostile opponent and Hakudoshi and Moryomaru were in a losing marathon.

"He didn't even tell us what questions he wanted answered," Kagura fumed on the feather, carrying her sister. "Do you know, Kanna?"

"It matters not," she replied.

Nearly growling in frustration, the temperamental one continued her questioning, "I thought you said that Kagome was the only one who could save us, but now that Naraku's not letting her close, how the hell is she going to do anything? Did she miss her chance?"

"The progression has not been altered," Kanna gave the small amount of reassurance.

"So, Kagome will still be the one to set us free?" Kagura asked trying to draw more out of the child. Kanna said nothing and only pointed in a direction, indicating that they needed to steer that direction. "But this is just taking us in circles, Kanna. Are you sure they are in this direction?" The head of white hair bobbed ever so slightly, making sure not to disturb the delicate white flower. "Fine, whatever you say." Kagura's sarcastic remark was ignored as the feather had changed course for at least the fifth time by now.

Kagura had not been mistaken when she wondered if they were actually going anywhere, for the only objective Naraku held at the moment was to afford himself an overabundance of seclusion and to keep his minions occupied. He didn't really care what they went out to do as long as they left; he did not want any of them around to see him like this. The impending breakdown he had been warding off, he could not stand it any longer as he stumbled aimlessly around the darkened temple. Destruction followed in his shadow, shown as broken statues and splintered walls, but no matter how much ruin he caused, it did not amend his plight. He dared not leave these walls, too many hunted him, too many might see him in this distressed state, and there was always the very real possibility of seeing her face again. What could be causing these hallucinations? He had already removed his human heart, so it could not be Onigumo triggering them. But the bandit had not been completely severed; Naraku still held a few of the human's memories, as evident by the persistent scar. Perhaps that was it, his memories with her; surely, if he tore them from his flesh, this ailment would vanish. This unbearable pain would finally subside if he could forget her.

He raised his hand in front of his face, the trembling attested to his deteriorating mental stability. Desperation was setting in, making self-mutilation appear logical and even desirable. This would not be the first time he hacked away at his own body, for he had sliced that infuriating scar from his back on more occasions than he could recall. He could only hope this haunting memory would not grow back as the blemish upon his back had. The claws at the tips of his fingers lengthened, becoming natural knives with the sharpest of razor points. With unsightable speed, he thrust the appendage into his chest with a sickening crunch. Ribs splintered, flesh ripped, and the fingers crawled their way through the flesh, searching painfully for the source of his deepest agony. He groaned at the dreadful sensation, feeling around and encountering recollections of times long past. He was close; he could feel it. It was only when the point of a claw touched the sought out memory that the scenes associated with the young priestess played out in his mind as if it had just happened. He couldn't repress the gasp that escaped his throat, accompanied by blood beginning to seep from his parted lips, as he saw her innocent eyes. Those same eyes that had expressed love and acceptance, and that had lightened his heart and made him debate on giving everything up for her. This torment he had found himself in lately, he had all but forgotten that he had been happy with her. Wrapping the clawed hand around the memory, he delved deeper, losing himself to the scenes that played as he took a final breath and prepared to rip it out. The throbbing headache would cease, he could be his normal self again, but… by ridding himself of the memory, he would no longer recall what it was like to be at peace. It hurt so bad, her leaving him, the stark contrast to the closest thing to heaven a demon could ever have that she had showed him. This memory he held in his grasp, he could remove it, but in doing so, he would not only lose the pain and sorrow at her loss, but also the euphoria she had granted. He'd lose all of it. Was this ache worth it, to remember how he had been loved?

Fingers and forearm slick with dark blood, he released his hold and pulled his hand from his chest. Blood dripped in plenty from the wound and he let himself collapse to his knees and then onto his elbows. A pained sound, half hiss, half whimper escaped him, but not at the physical pain, no, that was nothing. It was the emotional anguish that tore at him. His bloodied hand smeared on the floor, making the room appear the sight of a dreadful murder. Jaw clenched, he held in the cries of torment he was loath to release. He was Naraku; he did not express pain, he dealt it. His futile mantra had not ears but his own to fall on, and its inaccuracy was vast, for he was in agony, and there was none to hear, so he loosed the howling roar he was holding, rattling the entire building. The structure threatened to slide from its place on the cliff side, but stilled again as he did.

Hunched prone on the floor, the wretched realization hit him. He chose to live in pain, instead of forgetting her. As much as it hurt, he just couldn't lose the exultant feelings she gave him, even if it was not her all. He had never felt like that before and couldn't part with the memory. But she chose another, and would never be his. The memory was not enough, but he had nothing else of her. He had turned out just like that despicable bandit, finding himself content if he could only have her presence, a friend, as she would call it. He could see her smile again… That thought was shot down however, by an even more tragic realization, 'She would not forgive me.' For the first time, Naraku regretted; lamented his harsh treatment of another being, for if he had been calmer, he might have been able to see her again, even if it was not as anything more than a friend.

(A/N: I hope this doesn't sound too OOC for Naraku, but anyone who has seen the last of the final acts would know he's a much deeper character than shown prior.)
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In a New Light