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In a New Light	By : Sylean Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Naraku/Kagome Views: 17606 -:- Recommendations : 5 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha nor do I make any profit from this story.

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In a New Light

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha nor do I make any profit from this story.

Warning: There will be lemons in this story, some non-con as well.

Chapter 44: Shattered Hold

(A/N: As hard as these last few chapters were for me to write, I can only imagine it is even harder for you guys to read, since you have no idea where I'm taking it and I knew exactly how it would end, but rest assured, this chapter will turn the tide.)

Kagome had finally told someone about her burden, and someone she never expected to find any comfort in. But in the end, crying to Kikyo helped her to finally think clearly; helped her put things into perspective. She needed to go home, for good.

"There is nothing for me here," Kagome spoke without prompting, a rarity these days even if it was under her breath.

"What was that?" Inuyasha asked, being the only one with acute enough hearing to catch the whisper.

"This era, there is no reason for me to stay," she clarified, only slightly less quiet.

"But Kagome, what about the jewel shards and Naraku," the hanyou pressed.

At the mention of her love's name, she lowered her gaze, "As I said, there is nothing for me here. I want to go home."

"Okay, you can have a few days, and then-" he agreed quickly, sensing she was already close to crying and didn't want to upset her, but was interrupted.

"No, inuyasha, I mean go home for good," she told him as firmly as she could muster, but it still came out sounding rather pathetic. "I won't be coming back."

"Aren't you going to help us finish this quest, its because of you-" his patience and common sense thinned.

"Don't you think I know that?!" the restraint broke and she used the harsh words she had been told before to press her point. "Its because of me that the jewel broke, because I'm just a stupid woman-child that can't shoot straight and that destroyed the coveted item and I am nothing and, and…" she trailed off, whimpering. She hadn't even realized she used Naraku's thoughtless words instead of Inuyasha's. "I can't stay here, okay. I'm useless to you. Kikyo would be of better use and even if we did find N… Na- him, I wouldn't be able to hurt him."

Miroku acutely caught the words that none of them ever used against her, woman-child, coveted item, nothing, and that she avoided Naraku's name. His suspicions mounted and suddenly, a scene from long ago surfaced, of when Sesshomaru hinted to a traitor being in their midst. But if it was he that Kagome was seeing, he wouldn't out her, would he? It would hold no benefit for the demon, unless it wasn't him at all! 'Kagome, I certainly hope I'm not right about this feeling,' Miroku thought to himself as he continued to watch the argument before him with renewed insight.

"Him, you mean Naraku?" Sango asked, getting a small nod in response. "What are you talking about, it was your arrow that saved us so many times. You can't go!"

"I can't hurt him. Don't you understand? I don't have it in me," she pleaded her case, the irrefutable truth not taking hold in their minds.

"But you've gotten stronger, I've seen it," Shippo defended her abilities to herself.

"I can't, I can't," she devolved into sobs. 'I still love him, my arrow can not hurt him.' No sound other than her silent whimpers passed between them for some time.

"Kagome, please don't leave," Inuyasha spoke, sounding rather regretful for ever having hurt her. Apparently, she had found her breaking point, and he bet that bastard brother of his was responsible for making her so brittle. He would pay.

"You may not see it, but we need you. You are anything but useless," they continue pleading, but the battle was already lost. They could not deny her when she was this distressed.

"Kagura, return me to Naraku," Kanna ordered softly after hours of flying around in circles.

"But we haven't found those idiots yet and questioned them about nothing," she countered sarcastically, no longer trying to point out the futility of Kanna's directions. "Its obvious Naraku wants to be alone, and if we disobey… well, I know I don't want to deal with the consequences."

"It is imperative," she insisted quietly.

"Fine, once we get close, I'll toss you on a second feather," Kagura agreed and turned the wind in the other direction. "I'm not getting any closer to him than I am commanded to, but if you want to throw your life away, be my guest." They flew in silence, as they always did, but the dreadful aura emanating from the shrine stole the very breath from Kagura's lungs. It was oppressive and painful to get closer. With shaky movements, she tossed her second feather and Kanna delicately stepped onto it as it floated into the doorway. Without hesitation, the wind sorceress turned and fled, gasping for breath, expecting to never see Kanna again. But then again, the void demon never disobeyed; this outright defiance was so very unusual for her, there must be a reason.

Landing in the village outside Kaede's hut, Kagome limply dropped to the ground. Everything around her was still in a haze to her eyes and she tried to maintain her composure. Her friends informed Kaede of all that had occurred in Kagome's place, since the girl hadn't moved or even acknowledge anything going on around her since their arrival. She knew she might miss them, but if she stayed, she would only be putting their lives in danger. They would think they could rely on her when they couldn't. She couldn't defend them against Naraku, her reaction time was nearly non-existent, and she would only be a burden. Maybe, if she got over him, she could return, but she doubted that would ever happen. Without waiting or giving them notice, she began walking towards the well. It would be a long, slow, depressing walk, one that even Keade could keep pace with, and was soon accompanied by her group as they beseeched her.

Kagome forced herself to think of each of them individually, and in doing so told them her goodbyes. They slowly realized she was dead serious; this was goodbye, even though there was nothing good about it. She had addressed each companion, except Inuyasha, by the time their trek reached the well. Feet planted at its side, staring down its darkened depths, her shaky voice sounded, "Inuyasha…" It was his turn for her to say farewell to.

He turned his gaze on the rest following, and they understood. He wanted to be alone to speak with her. Maybe, he could get through to her. "Just give me a second to speak first before you go home, okay Kagome?" he asked, and the soft tone in his voice implored her to listen.

"Okay, Inuyasha," she agreed and sat on the edge, leaving room for him to join her. They sat like that for a long moment, trying to form the words buried so very deep.

Through the pounding in his ears and the sporadic drips of blood still exiting his incompletely healed wound, a new sound hit his ears. The soft, even padding of footsteps caused him to pull from his stupor and address the intruder. He was expecting perhaps Kohaku or Kagura, disobeying and returning to try and end him in this weakened state, but whom he had never expected, was Kanna. She was the only incarnation he trusted, the only one who had never opposed his orders, and here she was, when she knew better than anyone that he wanted them elsewhere.

A displeased scowl crossed his lips, the only sign of the rage building and the strong desire to kill her. He lifted himself from the ground but was stopped halfway when she turned her mirror and shot an image at him. It was the very image he had been avoiding at all costs, and the sight of it put him into an excruciating trance. The world around him seemed to fade as he was pulled into the scene, with no option but to watch it play out in horrible detail, as if he was standing right there. The woman who reduced him to the mess he currently was, the woman who practically ripped out his heart, seated side-by-side to that worthless mutt on the rim of her well in what was obviously a progressing heartfelt moment that he did not want to see, but could not look away.

"Kagome, please don't leav-" Inuyasha started again, but she interrupted him.

"I've made up my mind," her voice sounded hollow to his ears and he flattened them. Her anger was much preferred to this.

"But why?" he insisted. She was quiet for a long while, and he decided to ask what had been plaguing him. "Kagome, why are you really leaving?" Inuyasha asked gently.

"I already told you," she repeated, "I can't help you with this quest any longer."

"Its because of him, isn't it?" she gasped, telling him he was on the right track. She didn't know he knew; Sango and Miroku must have told him their assumption, but she was surprised he wasn't yelling about it. "He hurt you and now you are trying to get away."

"I-its more than that," she tried to explain, but didn't want to totally out herself. As much as they deserved to know the full truth, there was little point in revealing her past actions with Naraku now. All it would do was tear them apart more and give them a constant distrust of others. No, she would not correct their assumption. "I'm useless to you like this; I'll just be a burden."

"No, you're not!" he corrected fiercely, barely making her turn her head to him. "How can you not see that we need you here with us, Kagome?" His voice kept its loud tone, but she still had knowledge he lacked; Naraku was immune to her powers, because she didn't want to hurt him. "Kagome, please, stay with me." She just stared into his intense, golden eyes, thinking about how long she had waited for him to say anything like that to her and that if it had been several months ago, she would have melted into his arms and promised to never leave his side. But that was not how she felt now; her heart belonged to someone else. Her eyes watered, seeing his desperation. Her answer was spoken clearly through them; he didn't need to hear the words to understand that she would still leave. "I'm not sure what happened between you two," Inuyasha continued, referring to his brother. "I'll kill him if you want me to." She shook her head vigorously. She knew he was thinking of Sesshomaru, who hadn't actually done anything to her, other than being his typical jerk self, but her mind was on the dark demon lord instead, and she couldn't stand the thought of his death. "Okay, I won't, but please," he looked down at his clawed hands, "don't go. I don't hold anything against you for going to him; I understand I had no right to keep you with me." Her eyes widened at the admission, oh how she longed to here this earlier. The tears she was withholding slipped free. "If you stay, I promise, I'll be better to you." He looked up, not surprised at the tears, having already smelled the salt. "I," he ran out of words, but maybe this action would help. He leaned in, looking in her softly watering eyes, the emotion swimming in their depths, inching his way closer and finally letting his eyes slip shut before making contact.

Kagome saw his intention, saw him leaning in for a kiss. Shock held her still, but last second she realized her immobility and turned her head to the side, making his lips only hit her cheek. His eyes snapped open in shock, not expecting her to refuse him. With eyes locked on some unknown, faraway location, she explained, "I'm sorry, Inuyasha, but I still love someone else."

Naraku sat trembling in the darkened room, thinking of how he would slay the child demon that dared show him such a sight. Kanna did not move, did not react. She felt no fear for there was no reason to. She knew her death would not come this day and despite her master's rage and temper, she would escape unscathed. She had seen a vision of this day many moons ago, and knew what she had to do. She did not know everything that would happen, but bits and pieces would come to her at times and instruct her what to do. This was one of them; Naraku needed to see this. She watched the anger build, and the dangerous aura press harder and harder upon her. It was obvious the exact moment when clarity struck him; the same moment that Kagome refused Inuyasha and declared she was still in love with someone else, for his expression shook. His eyes widened and his breathing came in shuddering gasps; he finally understood.

Naraku was in disbelief, he expected her to accept Inuyasha, for hadn't she already chosen the dog over himself, but instead, she turned cheek, and declared she still longed for himself. 'Kagome, still loves me?' he asked himself incredulously as the jewel's hold on him shattered like glass. Past incidents flew through his mind, and he could no longer see when he had begun to think of her as traitorous; this whole time, she had only done as would normally be expected of her. Everything was clearer than the mirror Kanna clutched; even the cruel way he tossed Kagome aside. The horrible things he said to her, words intended to injure her very soul. He was adept at breaking people, and his proximity to her only made his attack all the more effective. Yet, even after the way he treated her, she still would chose him over Inuyasha? Did she really love him that much? He did not deserve her, he knew that; he did not deserve her love, but she was still willing to give it. If she had desires for the boy, she would have accepted him, but she had not, his fears had been unwarranted all along, he now knew.

It all only took him an instant, a very intense and stunning instant, but now he was faced with a split second decision. "You must go to her. You can still stop her departure," Kanna told him monotonously. His gaze returned to the girl, not even noticing the moment he began pacing the room, and patted her on the head. It was a brief gesture, one of gratitude, but the incarnation understood instantly. He breathed deeply, settling the heavy realization before casting himself from the window in flight. Making quick calculation, he estimated getting to the dry well in short succession, but his plans went eschew when his power was suddenly sapped, causing his flight to cease and his body to crash into the ground. He landed hard on his feet, skidding a trail in the forest, before feverishly searching for a cause. He could find none, and his power felt back to normal, so he leapt into the air again only to have a repeat occur. "Damn it," he cursed, now having a suspicion. The jewel had always leeched off of his power, granting it back in spurts when needed, but leeching none-the-less, and this was likely an exaggerated version. "What is the meaning of this?" he demanded of the trinket in his shoulder.

"The priestess will destroy your ambitions; it is not wise to go to her," the jewel spoke, trying to instill dread.

"You mean she will hinder your ambitions," Naraku corrected. Silence was all that met him. "That's what I thought." He pushed off, knowing the jewel would only bring him to the ground once again if he took to the sky, and instead sped through the trees. "You do not want me to go to her, you never did; it was your fault that things turned out this way."

"We were protecting you," the voices in the jewel tried to defend. "She will lead you to death."

"She has done nothing against me," he stated aloud, realizing all his previous doubt had stemmed from the wretched trinket. "I will thoroughly enjoy your screams when she purifies you."

"If you have no need for us," the jewel suggested frantically, "than leave us here. We will find a new host and cease hindering your foolish objective." Its words were only punctuated with another power fluctuation, nearly causing Naraku to stumble.

"No," he stated firmly, maliciously. "You will suffer for your deceit, and besides," a feral grin lit up his face, "I still have one last use for you." The jewel continued to fight against him, struggling to avoid a confrontation with such immense purity, but Naraku ignored the bauble in favor of focusing on his footing. It was a battle of wills; his versus the demons within the jewel, and it was a battle he was determined to win. He just had to make it to the well before she left him. For once, Inuyasha was in a position to either make or break him. Without knowing it, the pup keeping her talking, keeping her there, was his lifeline. This method of travel would take longer, and he was gambling on its success. He could not afford to lose. If he did, that would be the end for him; that thought increased his desperation, and quickened his steps. She was everything to him.

(A/N: Happy now? Things are finally turning around, but will Naraku get there in time?

This is my LAST week of college, YAY! Finals, then graduation on Friday. I can't wait to be done!)
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In a New Light