Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

In a New Light	By : Sylean Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Naraku/Kagome Views: 17606 -:- Recommendations : 5 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha nor do I make any profit from this story.

Chapter List
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In a New Light

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha nor do I make any profit from this story.

Warning: There will be lemons in this story, some non-con as well.

Chapter 45: Renewing Trust

"How can you still love him?" Inuyasha snapped. Anger was easier to process than pain and rejection. "He obviously broke your heart, how can you still love someone like that?"

"I just, I doubt I will ever not love him, Inuyasha," she tried to explain. "Like how you will always love Kikyo." Her words caused his ears to fold back again. It was obvious to her that his attempted kiss was still based upon being torn between them.

"It's because he's a full demon, isn't it?" he asked, looking away from her. This was always a sore subject, and if she was choosing Sesshomaru, asshole extraordinaire, it had to be because of that. That was the only thing he could think of that his brother had that he didn't.

Kagome blinked a few times before she remembered that he was thinking their conversation was about Sesshomaru, a full-blooded demon, and not Naraku, another half-demon like Inuyasha. "That has nothing to do with it Inuyasha," she tried to comfort him. "Look, I really don't want this last conversation to be a fight-"

"Than stay and it won't be," he supplied. "We can help you through this and-" her sudden terrified gasp interrupted him, "and… you will… get… over…" His words were spaced between obvious sniffing of the air, like he couldn't quite identify the scent and was debating which was more important, before ending the sentence in a growl of recognition.

Kagome went from her dejected self, simply trying to say goodbye without fighting, to a trembling, anxious mess when the telltale zing of jewel shards, a lot of them, came rushing towards her. 'No, please don't come after me now,' she fretted, hoping he was only passing through. The shards only continued to close in, and without looking up she could sense his presence just behind the tree line. If she ignored him, it wasn't real.

"Naraku, what are you doing here?" Inuyasha growled.

He was there, Inuyasha confirmed it to her chagrin, but she couldn't bring herself to look up and confirm her deepest fears; confirm that he still hated her. It would be too much to bear.

"Hey, I'm talking to you. What the hell do you want?" the protective urge flared, coupled with all the hate and vengeance Inuyasha felt for the being standing before him as he pulled Tessaiga and held the point towards Naraku.

'She won't even look at me? Did I really hurt you that badly, Kagome?' Naraku barely even acknowledged the dog's barking, his full attention on Kagome as she kept her gaze cast to the side. "You are always talking Inuyasha, and yet nothing of worth is ever spoken," he sighed in annoyance while reaching into the folds of his haori.

"That's because I have nothing to say to you besides 'die,'" Inuyasha declared with a flourish and charged in to attack.

"Immobilize!" Naraku bellowed out, holding out an object in his outstretched fist and forcing his immense aura into the object.

"What, the, hell?" Inuyasha barely managed to get the words out through gritted teeth as his body was stilled. He identified the object in Naraku's hand as the hair Kagura had sliced off so very long ago and realized it must be some black magic spell. Kagome finally looked up to see what was going on, but couldn't look towards Naraku. She saw Inuyasha frozen in place in an awkward position, sword held high, as he struggled to break the spell.

"Kagome," her name slipped out of Naraku's breath in a surprisingly tremulous way, causing her body to freeze immediately. It had seemed like so long ago that her name had been spoken from those lips; it brought back so many memories.

"Have you come to kill me?" her voice was still hollow, a quality he picked up immediately that caused his chest to ache.

'I could never...' he thought how even if she did strike at him, he could not retaliate. "I came to…" a brief thought was spared in regards to his captive audience, before deciding this message was far too important to hold back for the sake of pride, "I came to apologize."

"I'll never, forgive you," Inuyasha snarled through his spell with great difficulty.

"I'm not talking to you, Inuyasha. Now be silent!" Naraku commanded, again pouring more power into the hair and effectively shutting the mongrel's muzzle.

"What did you do to him?" Kagome asked blankly, still looking towards Inuyasha since she hadn't the courage to sight Naraku.

"It is a temporary spell. You can break it at any time with your word of subjugation," Naraku's words caused the dog's eyes to glace towards his "master." The look was a way of pleading and she could practically hear the words he would say if he could, "Kagome, tell me to sit already." If she did, that would be the end of this dialogue, and as terrified as she was of Naraku's purpose for being here, seeing as he clearly threatened her life upon their next meeting, she was not yet ready to end it. Maybe she could find the much needed closure from this exchange.

"You contradict yourself, Naraku," she stated, sounding very much like Kanna in volume and monotony. "You told me before that 'forgiveness is inconsequential to you,' so why should I believe you?"

"Kagome, look at me," his gentle command was only met with her turning her head even further away, it would break her heart to see those eyes so angry with her again.

"I… can't," she eked out, her words followed by a long silence.

'She won't believe me; she thinks this is all a trick to hurt her more,' Naraku realized dejectedly. It was logical on her part, and he could not fault her for it, but it still left him with a dilemma. How was he to get through to her?

'What the hell is Kagome doing talking to him, and why won't she release me. If I didn't know any better, I'd say Naraku is actually upset, sad about something,' Inuyasha's immobility gave him the unique experience of observing before attacking, and forced him to take in the unusual details. He noted Naraku's blatantly disheveled state, dried blood on his clothing as well as the claws of his right hand. There were no other scents besides his own; what could have prompted him to claw at himself. 'Sick bastard.'

'Why does he insist on tearing me apart further,' Kagome's mind sobbed even though her tears never reached her eyes. They had become dry long ago. 'Even Sesshomaru considered me too dead to bother with.'

'If only I could show her that I mean what I am saying,' Naraku contemplated, running scenarios in his head frantically and trying to come up with the best solution. "I understand your skepticism. You have no reason to trust me," he told her in a way that sounded almost sorrowful. Against her better judgment she looked up, the edge of her gaze lingering just below his chin. If she looked into his eyes, it might crush her, destroy what little she had left, or it might, there was always that slightest chance, that slightest hope, that maybe, just maybe...

She first noticed his unkempt state; the blood, the less than immaculate image, and the thought of what could have possibly happened to him crossed her mind. He never allowed anyone to see him like this, let alone his enemies, so why?

"You have no reason to trust my words, but maybe actions will prove it to you," he stated and Kagome clamped her eyes shut and gripped her chest. She made up her mind to look, just once, for that minuscule chance. If he was being sincere, and she turned him down, she'd never forgive herself. That would hurt far more than his anger ever would. Hurting him was something she could not live with. Nerves steeled, she opened her eyes, only to gasp at the sight.

'It couldn't be...' her mind floundered and her jaw allowed her lips to part as it dropped. He was! He was holding something out to her, the jewel; the real jewel, in his palm, as an offering. Was he that desperate just to get her to listen to him? Letting her gaze trail up to his face, biting her lips harder than she should've been, her breath caught and she nearly fell to the ground, he looked so, so sad. For a second she even thought she saw a sparkle at the corner of his eyes from unshed moisture. Her chest convulsed as if breathing rapidly, but no air flowed. Was this a trick, or was he really willing to give up the jewel for her. How badly she wanted to believe he would.

"All I ask, is that you hear me out," he tossed it to her feet, as if they had not just spent years fighting over it. Still, she barely recognized the action as she stared, trying to catch the shimmer at the corner of his eye.

'Did I imagine that?' she asked herself, before nodding in agreement to his proposition.

"First, purify the accursed thing; silence those infernal voices," he gestured to the nearly forgotten gem on the ground.

'Voices? So the jewel had been talking to him,' Kagome realized and bent to pick it up. The second her fingers touched the swirling black jewel it turned a brilliant pink and Naraku let out a signature, sinister smirk at the silent scream of the demons within. She slipped in into her skirt pocket and drew her wavering eyes back to the demon before her.

'Good, now free me Kagome, so I can kill him,' Inuyasha thought from the side, figuring Kagome was only waiting for the most opportune chance. He was still under the impression that Naraku was only strong because of the jewel, not understanding that it was essentially a parasite that drained its user's energy.

Kagome placed her hand over her heart, remembering how much it hurt. "Why?" she was not asking why he'd given up the jewel, but why he'd hurt her.

"I was... lost," he settled on the vague word, not fully understanding himself as to how the jewel got ahold of him. But it had, and he couldn't discern what were his own thoughts and which ones were planted. If Kanna had not shattered that haze… He was trying to find the words, for he was not used to charging in without a plan like this. There had not been a choice. He could tell she did not believe him; she was still so standoffish. He needed a better way than just words; he needed to show her what he meant, but would it work?

"Do you recall that night in the cave, asking me if you could see inside me?" he asked as he turned away, suppressing the tender memories that accompanied that night.

"Y-yeah, I remember," she admitted hesitantly, wary of giving herself away to the still observing Inuyasha, but it was already too late now. He'd figure it out eventually.

"Will you let me grant that request now?" he turned towards her and held out his hand in invitation.

'That sparkle again; I didn't imagine it. That could only come from...' she gasped, her narrowed, focused eyes widening in shocking realization. 'He's holding back tears; he's on the verge of crying, for me.'

'I need to show you this, Kagome, please accept,' he pleaded silently, arm shaking infinitesimally as he waited for her answer.

The first step was slow, hesitant, moving forward and back several times before her weight shifted and the second step moved, and once they started, they increased in confidence until she was only three paces away. Looking at the ground, she saw his hand held out to her. Slowly, she let hers rest in his much larger palm, engulfing her smaller one as he brought her eyes to his with a gentle tug. He pulled her close enough, and in a voice slightly above a whisper, told her, "I have never attempted this before; I do not know what effects it will have on you." He pulled her hand to rest on his chest, over where his heart would reside, sliding it beneath the fabric of his clothing. He was so warm.

"Ka-go-me," Inuyasha eked out.

"I have to know, Inuyasha," she told her stationary friend.

"It's... Trap," he tried to warn her, renewing his struggles in vain.

"Even if it is, I am prepared," she declared, regaining the life that had been leaving her.

"Do not be afraid," Naraku told her as the flesh beneath her palm twisted and gripped her, pulling her in a slight bit. She could still see the back of her hand between the worm-like tendrils, but her hand was undeniably inside his flesh. She almost pulled back, fear of being absorbed flaring, but instead tried to calm herself.

'I have to know. If I run no, I might as well be dead, for my soul would never get passed this moment,' she admitted to herself. Taking a single deep breath, she gave him the go ahead, "I am ready." He nodded in response and closed his eyes. She watched for a moment, waiting for something to happen, and when it did, her head was thrown back, mouth agape and knees weakened. It was insanely intense, and it took a second for her to grasp what was happening. Why did she suddenly feel so, so aroused? Naraku caught her as she started to fall, holding her body to his. An image crossed her mind, like a movie reel behind her eyes. She recognized it immediately as herself, but why would she feel aroused at an image of herself?

"Do you recognize this place?" he asked, prompting her to look around the scene in her head. It was a hot spring; no it was the hot spring. This was the very place he first lay with her. Was he showing her his memories, was that why she saw herself; it was through his eyes? And the feelings coursing through her, the desire and passion, was that his feelings too? "You understand." Her thoughts rang clear through the link he established, but the intensity rendered her speech difficult. She already knew he desired her, what was the point of this?

At the queue of her thoughts, the scene changed, fading into a dark cavern. From the angle, she could tell that the memory was Naraku looking down on her from a significant height. Everything was dark except for the circle of light she stood. She felt fear, apprehension, and the slightest bit of hope; it was his fear. What had him so unnerved? It dawned on her immediately when the darkness alit, revealing the cave in Mt. Hakurei littered with parts of his body. 'He was scared to show me his form that day, but when I did not shrink back at the sight…' she thought it out and was then flooded with relief and happiness. She couldn't help but smile. His emotions she was seeing, were in a perpetually tumulus state, and she had brought him exhilaration.

The scenes passed faster and faster as she adapted to the process. The emergence from Mt. Hakurei and the wild encounter they shared in the crumbled mountain's shadow, scenes at the castle, ranging from times of passion to that fretful night that she calmed his soul. Kagome could plainly feel the growing attachment he had been gaining for her and despite herself, sighed at the memories. Those times had been so nice, and she had doubted if he felt the same way, but now she knew he had cared for her. But they were not done yet. Their night in the cave, the night she told him she loved him; it brought tears to her eyes to remember how gentle he had been. The emotions thrummed steadily, building and spilling out her very pores. She had not been wrong, he really had loved her as much as she had him. So, what happened to change that?

Flashing swiftly through the next scenes, a growing sense of dread built and finally exploded at the image of her bow drawn, arrow pointed toward the viewer threateningly. There was no way she could mistake this horrible place; it was that maze, and it tore a vocal scream from her throat in response to the overwhelming emotional pain that pierced her heart.

"Naraku, let go of her!" Inuyasha found the strength to speak through the spell at seeing Kagome scream out. It looked like he was hurting her.

"D-don't stop," she panted out through heavy breaths countering Inuyasha's demand. "Show me; I want to see… feel everything. I have to know." He nodded and resumed, having paused at her exclamation of agony. She clutched onto his haori like a clinging child, trembling and pained at the images that passed. She was familiar with this pain, for she had endured her share of it when they broke, but now she understood his actions. He thought she had chosen Inuyasha over himself; he took her arrow as betrayal, and the pain in her chest spoke of just how deep a blow it had been. She found herself short of breath, dizzy and hadn't even realized she was sobbing uncontrollably at the fresh wave of remorse. It was like he was crying through her; a slew of emotions so intense it stole the very air from her lungs. She could never have imagined that he had emotions this intense.

"I'm sor-ry," her voice was hoarse, shaky, "I'm s-so sorry, Naraku, I-"

"Do not apologize," he told her, trying to calm her tears.

"I didn't mean it like that," she continued, trying to explain that she never meant to hurt him with her arrow.

"I know. You have done nothing to warrant such a reaction. I was the one who was blinded and did not see your attempts for what they were," he finally got through her sobs and she just kept herself close to him as the scene changed. He spared her the torment he put himself through; she didn't need to see any more pain. Instead, he moved to end this link, after one more visual.

Her sobs stilled as a simple sight floated behind her eyes. Again it was her, as she was used to since these were from his point of view, but the location, it was far too familiar. Experimentally, she looked up, streams of salty water still on her cheeks, and saw the image move in time with her. This was his sight right now, in this very moment, and the emotion that accompanied it… she didn't know it was possible to feel so deeply, but the love that swelled in her chest, mixed with the slightest bit of fear that she would reject him and sorrow for having hurt her, she knew without a doubt, "I love you too." He would not say those three words, could not in his nature express them verbally, but this was just as good, if not more, meaningful. This was his way of telling her that she meant everything to him. She understood this. His embrace pulled her to him fully as her hand slipped from his knitted flesh, bringing them both back to the physical plane.

(A/N: You can rest easy now, this is the last cry-cry chapter. Two more left that deal briefly with Inuyasha's, Sango's, Miroku's, and Shippo's reactions. I say briefly, even though its two full chapters, because this is only the start; I intend to get much more in-depth in the sequel.

…And off I go to graduation. So glad to be free!)
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In a New Light