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Blood Stained	By : Maddiesan Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Kagome > Sessh?maru/Kagome Views: 61650 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 6
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, and I do not make any money from these writings

Chapter List
- 47
- 48
- 49
Blood Stained
Chapter 48: Together in Guilt

Eight minutes was too long.

Didn’t Izumi understand what an emergency was? Sesshomaru had been pacing in front of the door for what seemed like an eternity, desperately waiting for the youkai to arrive. Three minutes ago Kagome had fallen into unconsciousness, though he had promised to hold her hand, if he had remained still he would have gone crazy.

His fingers were twitching as he ran his fingers through his hair. Sesshomaru couldn’t help but glance in her direction, observing her frowned features. Though she was no longer awake, her worry was obvious upon her face. She was in pain, there was no denying it. Also, he was sure that she was not the only one suffering. To say that the blood loss she experienced didn’t concern him would be lying.

All he could do was hope it wasn’t a miscarriage.

After everything she went through, after everything he put her through… he wasn’t sure this would be a hurdle she would get over.

Everything had been taken away from her, he couldn’t allow this to be as well. If he had been more careful, if he had protected her better, none of it would have happened! If this went wrong, he would never forgive himself.

Suddenly a knock on the door broke him out of his thoughts, he snapped his head in the direction of it. A heavy sigh passed his lips as he opened the door, revealing the doctor. Sesshomaru couldn’t stop himself from glaring at the other man, his feelings were just too strong.

Izumi nodded slightly before pushing his way in. He still had a duty at the hospital, it had been extremely hard for him to leave in such a manner without any explanation. Though now that he had seen the look on Sesshomaru’s face, he knew it had to be serious.

Once Kagome came into view, he stopped dead in his tracks.

Immediately he noticed the blood soaking through the blanket, he almost cringed. Izumi took a deep breath before closing the distance between himself and the Miko. Gently, he sat on the edge of the bed, putting his bag down on the floor. He was almost afraid to feel her aura, to find out just how badly she was wounded.

Slowly, he raised his hand and put it on her covered stomach. Izumi closed his eyes, allowing the aura to swirl against his own so he could know whether the pain came from Kagome, or the pup.

Sesshomaru observed him carefully as he frowned a few times, which only caused the Dayoukai’s distress to become worse. All he could do was stand there and watch, it made him feel absolutely worthless and useless. Usually, he would be in charge, taking actions, but in this case, he couldn’t do anything. His one chance to help would have been to save her before anything happened, but he had even failed to do that.

Why was it that no matter how hard he tried to be better for her, to make her life better, he only made it worse?

Had anything so bad ever happened to her before he ever came into her life? It was as if his presence was cursing her. Could it be that in the end, she would be so much better off without him around?

A whimper of pain came from Kagome and it seemed to break his trance.

“Ses-sh-omaru?” Her voice came like a soft whisper of desperation.

His voice was caught in his throat as he took a step in her direction. Kagome’s eyes were completely closed, she was moving her head from one side to the other. Droplets of sweat were dripping down the side of her face, her eyebrows were knitted together. From the look of her face, he could tell she was perhaps a bit confused.

“You should come beside her,” suggested Izumi never taking his eyes off her.

His presence might not do much, but if it could provide her some comfort, she could use it. Although from what Izumi understood, Kagome was not the only one suffering. Both her and the pup were in pain but for very different reasons. There was one problem. He was afraid to share the reasons of their son’s pain with them.

Izumi still remembered the look of guilt in Kagome’s eyes when he had previously explained their son’s situation to them, he knew that this new information would only increase it. He didn’t know what happened, but judging by the wound on her wrists and arm, he could come up with an explanation. He took a deep breath before turning his head in the direction of Sesshomaru, hoping that Kagome was to out of it and wouldn’t remember what was being said.

“She was captured?”

Sesshomaru nodded, nearly looking away.

“I think he tried to protect her. He mingled his own powers with hers to defend her, but it was too much, it left him weak. How did you find her?”

“On the ground.”

He softly nodded. “So it was a fall.” Izumi sighed heavily. “He was too weak and powerless against the shock, which probably happened face on, causing her stomach to be hurt more than anything else.”

At that moment, Sesshomaru could only hear half of what Izumi was saying, since his mind was too preoccupied. He failed to protect her, which caused their son to do it. Now, he might lose them both, all because of his own foolishness.

Sesshomaru had one question burning his lips, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the answer to it. “Will he live?”

Izumi looked away, staring at Kagome. Honestly, there wasn’t an answer to that question. If it was anyone else, he’d answer that the chances were slim, but that pup was strong. He had resisted and lived through many things without even being born yet. Perhaps there was hope.

“Anyone else? No. Your son?” He paused. “Maybe. But I wouldn’t get my hopes too high.”

Sesshomaru released a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. It wasn’t much, it wasn’t anything, but it was…hope. If there was a chance his son was going to make it, then he would do anything he could to make sure that that chance prevailed.

“She will be fine though,” added Izumi, referring to Kagome. “Her body is a bit weak from her wound and from the shock, but she will be okay.”

“Is there anything she can do?” He knew it would be the first thing Kagome would ask once she would regain consciousness. She would do anything for Kiyoshi, even giving up her own life.

“You need to make sure nothing happens to her. The less risk she is in, the better. To be honest, the best thing would be for her to not leave this bed until the birth. It’s the only way to keep your chance alive.”

He hated to be so blunt, to bring bad news, but in this case, he didn’t have any other choice. He glanced at Sesshomaru, but he was no longer looking at him. Instead the Daiyoukai’s eyes were locked on Kagome’s hand, as if he was dying to take it in his.

Izumi wished he could do more, but he couldn’t. Although if they followed his advice they would be staying, which meant he would be close by.

“If you do remain here, take this.” He looked through his bag, and took out a pen and paper. Quickly he scribbled on it, before handing it to Sesshomaru. “You have my cellphone and home number. Also, I included my pager for when I’m at the hospital. It will be quicker to reach me that way.”

Sesshomaru took it from him, before offering him a nod. “Thank you.”

Izumi took his bag from the ground and stood up. “Make sure she drinks plenty of liquids when she wakes up.”

Without waiting for a farewell, he headed for the door, knowing the Daiyoukai needed to be alone with her. He had seen many couples go through such things as miscarriages through the years, it never got easier. He did this to help people and losing a being was always hard. Human, Youkai or Hanyou.

He could only pray for them.

Sesshomaru heard the door close, it was then that he sat where Izumi had previously been. Gently, he reached out for her hand, holding it tightly. It felt so fragile in his, he knew he had to help her. She would not leave this bed, he would not let her risk it.

He lifted his free hand, gently brushing her bangs away. Once her forehead was bare, he slowly bent down and pressed a kiss against it. The heat of her body was transmitted to his lips, but he lingered there a bit longer. It took him a few minutes before he pulled away. Then, he resumed his sitting position. This time, he wouldn’t let go, he would hold her hand until she woke up.

-B-

A sharp pain tingled through her body while she lacked the strength to open her eyes. Her breathing felt sharp and harsh, nearly bringing the desire to stop such necessary action if only to cease her suffering. The cracks splitting her dry lips were throbbing, she knew her lips were tainted with blood. Her entire body felt enveloped by an out of this world coldness except one part. There was a strange, warmth hailing from her hand. There was no desire stronger than the one to look, but her eyelids refused to obey.

Why was she experiencing such agony? She was doing her best to remember, but it was just beyond her reach. There was one thing she could do, one person she could call out for. Through her torment, she managed to part her lips.

“Se-se-ss-h-ho-sesshomaru?”

Kagome felt the warmth from her hand grow stronger.

“Kagome?”

He had been nearly falling asleep by her side, but the sound of her voice had immediately brought him back from his near slumber. His heart was nearly thumping within his chest, while he waited for her to answer. She had been in a state of unconsciousness for nearly four hours, he had to admit he was getting worried.

When she did not reply, he attempted again. “Kagome?”

Once again, he was graced with complete silence. A frustrated sigh passed his lips before he raised his hand, pressed it against her heated forehead. Her body temperature was still extremely high and he was aware that she needed to cool off. Gently, he released her hand, surprisingly she offered no resistance at all.

Quickly Sesshomaru rushed to the nearby fridge and pulled out an ice cold bottle of water. The only trouble he had was that he was not certain that she would drink it. He hesitated for a brief moment before deciding to also get a damp towel as well. He hurried into the bathroom and wet the first towel he found.

It didn’t take him too long to be by her side once more. He lightly pressed the wet cloth against her forehead, before putting the bottle down on the bedside table. He observed her squirming a bit when the coldness reached her burning skin making her frown. The speed of her breathing increased rapidly, making his heart skip a beat.

One last time. “Kagome?”

This time, he saw movements. It was obvious that she was struggling to open her eyes, so he patiently waited.

Kagome required a few minutes to actually lift her eyelids. Everything surrounding her was blurry, it was as if she were gazing upon a melting painting. As she tried to open her eyes as wide as possible, things slowly began to make sense, shapes into forms. It didn’t take too long for her to finally recognize Sesshomaru, who was by her side, his head above hers.

It was hard to ignore the torture and agony spreading through her body, but the worried look on his face forced her to focus. She tried to remember what happened. Why she was feeling this way, but unlike a few minutes ago this time her mind was cooperating with her. The youkai, the fall, the blood! The panic that rose through her body caused her to violently sit up without even taking conscience of the pain.

“Ki-kiyoshi!” she nearly screamed out, hurting her pained throat.

Sesshomaru let out a breath of relief to see that her memory had not been affected and that she could still speak. The only problem now was that he needed to explain everything to her, that part would be more difficult. He still held on to her hand, which she had seemed to fail to notice, as he tried to find out the best way to calm her. Getting nervous and stressed was definitely a bad thing at the moment.

“Kagome, please, you will need to calm down.”

Her panicked eyes met his and though the storm remained in them, he could see a certain calm, as if she was waiting for his words.

“Kiyoshi is…” Could he tell her right away? Could he break the news to her? “weak.”

Kagome let the short three words sentence settle down in her mind, but through the panic and confusion, it was rather difficult to keep herself collected. What exactly did weak mean? She couldn’t help but break the eye contact and observe her stomach. It was then that she took notice of the blood staining the blankets. At first she desired nothing more but to be sucked into a world of worry, but then she realized the blood was dry. Didn’t that mean the bleeding had stopped?

A gentle tug on her hand brought reality crashing upon her. She gently tilted her head up and stared into his green eyes once more.

He wouldn’t lie to her, it wouldn’t be fair. “He is hurt.”

Tears slowly began to form in her eyes. “Will he….” She couldn’t bring herself to finish her question, she couldn’t.

Kiyoshi was her light, he was her son, her everything. It was true that he was still growing within her, but it didn’t change the way she felt about him. He was already everything in her heart, she loved him dearly. No, she couldn’t lose him. Not after all that occurred.

She would never give up on her son, she wouldn’t lose him.

“The chances are slim, but, if you are willing to remain in bed until you’re ready to give birth, then there is hope.”

Hope.

The word echoed through her mind like a fall of rain upon scorching skin while trapped within the desert.

His life, his light, it all depended on her? Was that even a question? Obviously she would do anything, even give up her own life just for her son!

“Is there anything else I can do?” she inquired, holding back the tears.

This was all her fault. Perhaps if she hadn’t run, if she had been more careful, been able to defend herself, then her son wouldn’t be in this situation. It was all her fault for her selfish actions! If she hadn’t done this, if she hadn’t thought about herself only, then this mess wouldn’t have happened. Why did she have to be so useless?

Back then, she required Inuyasha’s help to defend her. Then, she had been hopeless against the beast, even now, she couldn’t protect her own son?

Failure was the only word that came up to her mind.

“Your emotions need to be kept under control. Stress will not help him.”

Kagome nodded, as a few tears slipped past her control and glided down her cheeks. Of course, she wanted to be calm, but at the moment it was near impossible. Not only was she experiencing a pain worse than she ever felt before, but also she felt a deep burden upon her shoulders. The tears were too much to hold and she decided to not hold them in.

Next time, she would be able to stop it, but at that instant, she required to be weak.

Sesshomaru felt her hand slip away as the tears burst out of her eyes. Gently, he released it as he watched her bring her hands to cover her eyes, hiding her shame. He didn’t know everything that had happened while she was alone with her kidnappers, but he had already expected such a reaction. He could tell her to not blame herself, but he knew it wasn’t something she could do.

Her wellbeing always came last, she cared so much more about others than herself.

There was still a small barrier between them, but watching her break down by herself, he simply couldn’t. After all, deep down, he held himself responsible for the whole thing. He had vowed to protect her, he was the one who had broken his promise. If he could control his beast better, than he would have been able to be in his youkai form and he would have stopped those assholes before they got anywhere near her.

The kidnappers.

Sesshomaru had been so caught up with the pain and the blood that he had completely forgotten they were still on the louse. He had been so worried about her that he hadn’t finished them off. Most of them were harmed, damaged, but they were not dead. Surely if they had gone through kidnapping her, they would be coming for her again.

That meant that anytime, any second, they could strike.

The problem was, he couldn’t constantly leave his beast out, which only meant one thing; he couldn’t rest. Unless someone he completely trusted was awake with her, he didn’t have such a person, without that he couldn’t allow himself to sleep. It was a bit difficult considering he was requiring more rest than usual, but it didn’t matter. If he had to be awake for three weeks, he would be.

A whimper of pain came from Kagome as her cringing intensified, his heart constricted.

Technically he would require her permission to break the barrier, but at this moment, she looked fragile and he needed to protect her. Slowly, he approached her, he gently wrapped his arms around her shaking body. Both of his hands were gently rubbing her back unsure if he was doing the right thing, as she dipped into his chest, as if she was seeking protection.

Never had she purposefully wanted such contact with him and he tried not to be surprised. Sesshomaru remained as cold as stone, trying to be her support. She was trembling like a leaf, as she began wetting his shirt. Slowly, she allowed her hands to slip away from her face and she started to clutch to his shirt as if her life depended upon it.

The guilt was raging through her and her worries for her son were breaking her heart. She felt angry, she wanted to know why it all happened to her at once. Didn’t she deserve a break as well?

She was softly shaking her head, while she felt his arms tightened around her. She wanted to be buried in his hold, she wanted to be protected and shielded from the world. Especially when the beast had come along, they hadn’t been going to each other for comfort, but this time, she needed it. There was not many things she knew about Sesshomaru, but she knew he cared about his son.

He was probably just as worried as she was.

Without thinking in her desperation, she lifted her arms and tightly wrapped them around his neck, burying herself against him even more if possible. Sesshomaru’s hands trailed down just a bit more, as he felt a strange feeling. This wasn’t a closeness he was used to experiencing with her. Her nose was touching the bare skin of his neck, as her tears were wetting the collar of his shirt.

He tilted his head up a bit, as if he felt a certain suffocation, although it wasn’t a bad feeling. Sesshomaru simply didn’t know how to act. When it came to him, she rarely did anything of her own and it made the situation a bit awkward. However, he was glad she did not fear his presence as much as she used to. It was a progress he was grateful for. Not because of selfish desires, but because it meant she was feeling better.

He had never been so close to her before while being himself, yet it almost felt natural. Neither one was thinking of the past, just of the current pain and to provide comfort.

Kagome was drowning herself in tears, he was her lifesaver, the only thing keeping her afloat. All the pain, all the concern, it was just washing over, going through her veins. It was as if there was a hole in her heart, one that wouldn’t be filled again. Her son, her Kiyoshi. She couldn’t lose him, she couldn’t bear such a thought.

“I can’t,” she said through the tears. “We can’t le- let h-him die.”

Sesshomaru gently buried his face in her hair, taking in a deep breath. Then, he shook his head. “We will not lose him.”

It was foolish, it wasn’t even something in his control, but she needed it.

“Prom-mise?”

It would be unfair to say yes, it would be unfair to give her a hope that he could not back up, but the sound of her voice, the way it was breaking… he didn’t even know if he could not promise. Sesshomaru took a few seconds where he remained completely still before gently backing away from her a bit. He removed his arms from around her waist, which caused her to pull away from him, before looking up. Gently, he cupped her cheeks with his hands and looked right into her eyes.

“I promise.”

At that exact moment, she felt her heart catch in her throat, no words would come to her. The intensity of his eyes, the softness of his hands, the comfort of his words, it was nearly overwhelming. Except him, she was all alone in this strange country. He was also the one who might lose a child. On top of that, he came for her. Although she had been far away, he had no clue of her location, he had found her.

Through the city, through the people, he could come to her.

The tears were pouring out, her heart was throbbing in her chest so hard it hurt, her mind was fuzzy from the pain and the poison, her whole insides were ready to burst out because of her whirlpool of feelings. Slowly, Kagome closed her eyes, the warmth of his hands traveling to her face.

Only one thought was going through Sesshomaru’s mind, was she okay?

Taking her time, she closed the space separating her from him. The whole time Sesshomaru, who was unaware of what she was attempting to do, remained completely still, as a statue. Then it happened. He felt her dry lips against his moist ones.

It wasn’t passionate, it was closed mouth.

She wasn’t moving, but she remained there and he was at loss for words or actions. Kagome on the other hand, could only hear her own heart raging through her chest. The action had happened out of itself. She hadn’t thought of doing it, the idea had never crossed her mind. Before she had known what happened, her feelings had dragged her closer to his face.

She felt out of her mind.

The situation was highly awkward, especially since tears were still rolling down her cheeks, yet neither pulled away, both for very different reasons.

A feeling of warmth was slowly building up inside Sesshomaru and for once, he was confused beyond belief. Would the right thing to do be to push her away, or to bring her in? He had kissed her previously, out of his own control, but this was quite different. It was her who had initiated it. After everything that had happened physically between her and the beast, he wouldn’t be surprised if she was frozen in place.

Fall, or pull away.

The first question in Kagome’s mind was why couldn’t she move and why hadn’t he pulled away yet? She had long ago established that although Sesshomaru respected her now, he would never share such feelings towards her. Not that she did, the kiss had really just happened. Yet, there he was, his lips still against hers and he did not seem bothered.

She closed her eyes, causing the final tears to fall, with every intention to pull away, yet she was shocked to find out that he did it first. Gently she felt his lips leaving hers and before she knew it, his hands moved to around her shoulders, he brought her close to his body, her face buried in his chest. She felt him rest his chin on top of her head, while one hand moved up to caress her hair.

He didn’t say a word.

Sesshomaru felt that her actions had been done out of an unconscious impulse. The reason she hadn’t pulled away had mostly been because she had probably been ashamed and he was trying to chase away that feeling. He wouldn’t mention it and it would be as if it never occurred. At the moment, the thing she required the most was comfort and he would bring it to her.

Kagome let his embrace sink in and somehow, she felt more sad than before, yet she wasn’t sure why.

-B-

Kagome felt enveloped in blissfulness as she slowly came into consciousness. Her eyes were not yet opened and she had the strangest feeling that she had no desire to do so. Most of the pain from the previous day had gone away and all she was left with were a few sharp pains in her stomach.

Her memory from the previous day was a bit blurry but she clearly remembered the important information, which included Kiyoshi’s current state. The feeling of guilt and bitterness took over, which caused her to slowly open her eyes. The first thing she saw was complete…black.? A bit surprised she pulled away only to realize it was Sesshomaru’s shirt.

It was then that she took conscience thought of her surroundings. His arms were tightly wrapped around her waist, his head resting near hers. Had he been holding her the whole night?

Kagome could still remember what it was to cuddle with his beast and this was…different. Kagome had stopped fearing Sesshomaru a while back especially when she had decided to make a clear distinction between him and his beast. The closeness didn’t bring fear within her, but it did make her feel strange. It was an unknown emotion she couldn’t explain.

She found herself ceasing her movements as if she were afraid he would wake up and move.

Did she enjoy his arms wrapped around her tiny body?

A heat came from inside of her, surged out to tickle her skin. How could she have such thoughts? Lately, everything in her life had been a complete mess and though it was strange to admit it, he was her rock. The only thing that had not changed and provided her support was him.

The beast might still be hard to understand for her, but Sesshomaru, the real one, was a good person.

He had made his mistakes in the past, but it was clear now that through the years he had done much to try to change, making up for his mistakes. When it came to any type of relationship between them, even a friendship needed work. However, she had to admit they had grown a bit closer over the last few days.

But a real relationship?

Kagome was slowly healing, but, she didn’t think she’d be able to be in a relationship. Wasn’t there too many wounds? She had wished to get over her fear of intimacy and the thought of doing such with Sesshomaru, without doing anything that involved going all the way, had crossed her mind before.

Could it be so wrong to allow herself to be a tad bit closer to him?

Somehow, it made her feel completely insane.

As she slowly believed herself to be losing it, she remembered an important detail of the previous night. She had kissed him. It had been a chaste kiss, but she had pressed her lips against his nonetheless. To be honest, she wasn’t sure how she felt about it. Did she regret it? Did it make her feel twisted?

“You’re sweating. Are you well?”

The sound of his voice made her slightly jump. So, had he been awake the whole time? Her heart was hammering within as she tried to come up with something to say. All her thoughts were getting her so worked up that she was probably overworking herself. She was quite weak at the moment and so was her son. Perhaps stressing herself over such foolish thoughts was not the right thing to do at that instant.

“I’m fine,” she answered, her voice a bit weak.

He had to keep himself talking. Why? He wasn’t sure.

“We will not be able to try the connection, it would take too much energy out of both of you.”

She nodded into his chest. Although the connection had greatly helped, it wasn’t as necessary anymore. Obviously, she wanted to go through with it because in the end, it would help her completely free herself from the pain, but it was no longer an urgent issue.

The safety of her son would be her priority until he was born. According to Izumi, she should be ready to give birth very soon, so if she could pull through perhaps the next couple of weeks, then he would be fine. If only there was a way to make him stronger, to make him heal…

And then it was as if a light lit up in her brain.

“I could help him,” she stated, lifting her head up slightly.

Their eyes met and he tilted his head ever so slightly, waiting for her to explain.

“I’m a Miko,” she said, her tone insisting it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Couldn’t I use my powers to heal him?”

The idea was not completely insane. She had been known to heal both humans and youkais, so there had to be a way she could heal Kiyoshi. The only problem was, it could be risky and they really couldn’t allow themselves even one mistake. If they were to try this, they had to be sure it would work or it might end up doing more damage than anything else.

“There is always the chance he will be harmed.”

Sesshomaru didn’t want to insult her, but they both knew she didn’t have perfect control over her powers. That also wouldn’t help the situation. If it took more out of her, pressing her to her limit, then more than just Kiyoshi would be harmed.

A tiny sigh escaped Kagome. She was aware that Sesshomaru was correct, but it still hurt. She was a Miko, she should have been able to help her son.

Once more, she felt useless.

She wanted to be alone because of her sadness, but she was conscious that it was the last thing she needed. If she drowned herself into her loneliness and pain, it would do nothing good for either her or her son. Still, as she attempted to turn on her side, she felt a small resistance coming from Sesshomaru. Kagome didn’t think much of it. After all, hadn’t he vowed to protect her and Kiyoshi? He was most probably preventing her from moving too much.

The tension in the room grew a bit and she decided to ask the faithful question.

“What happened to the youkais that kidnapped me?”

He wished he could tell her they were dead, that they wouldn’t come after her again but it would be a lie. He hated himself for not taking care of them better, but then again, her life had been in danger. He chose to save her and their child instead.

“They were hurt and unconscious when I found you.”

Kagome held in her breath before weakly shaking her head. They were still alive. That meant they would try to come after her and the jewel. Maybe not right away, since they would need time to collect and re-think a plan, but it wouldn’t be too long until they would strike once more. For a second, Kagome let the pain of the previous events wash over her. The monsters that had nearly ripped her son’s life away were free and well. They had almost taken her and Kiyoshi away from this world and they could still harm her.

Her heart constricted in her chest. How could she escape it?

Although this time she was aware of their presence, it didn’t make any of it easier. After all, she didn’t know when it would happen and she was still fairly weak on her own.

Even Sesshomaru couldn’t do much as long as he was human. Either he needed to remain in his beast form or they needed extra protection.

But could he really be locked away while his beast prevailed every hour until the youkais were taken care of? It was insane.

On the other hand there weren’t many people who they could trust for protection. There was perhaps one person. They hadn’t gotten along very well in Australia, but perhaps considering the situation they were in, they could cooperate.

“I have an idea,” she said almost timidly. It would probably bring out a small argument, but it was worth it. “Since they could come back, I thought that maybe, Kouga could come here.”

She hated the idea of bothering someone, putting their life at risk, but right now, if she was to be assaulted again, it would mean losing Kiyoshi and it was a thought she could not bear. Having Kouga along might bring a bit of tension, but at least it would be more protection. She knew Kouga would come in a heartbeat and in a way, she would feel as if she was abusing his feelings towards her but, she needed him as a friend, she hoped he would answer her call.

Though Sesshomaru might not feel so supportive of the idea.

She lifted up her head and looked into his eyes. Kagome could see a whole different range of emotions going through them, she wasn’t sure it was a good thing. Perhaps it was somewhat attacking his pride since she was saying he couldn’t protect her on his own. It was not that she thought he was doing a bad job, but this would be a complicated situation, especially since she couldn’t move and she was not willing to risk it.

Kiyoshi’s life couldn’t be gambled with.

Sesshomaru allowed her words to echo in his mind, but they never became easier to hear. He couldn’t stop his feelings of failure. If he had been in his full form, he would have probably growled. Kouga. He didn’t require the wolf’s help. Actually, he didn’t wish for his help. If he allowed himself to clear his mind, he knew she was right. The only way he could offer her proper protection would be to use his beast constantly, but in the end, it might provide more bad than good.

Kouga could be around her, use his powers without any bad situations happening.

It bothered him and he completely despised the idea, but it wasn’t the worst one he had heard. He had to say words he didn’t want to say, but it was for her. Sesshomaru couldn’t allow himself to be selfish. In the past he would have, but now it wouldn’t be fair to her. She came first as did their son. If the presence of the wolf could help protect them, then so be it.

“It would be a wise decision.”

For a strange reason, her heart skipped a beat when she heard his answer. Somehow, she hadn’t expected him to say yes so easily. Although she was a bit relieved, even if the situation would become more stressful which was something she needed to avoid.

“But.”

When he added the short word, she lifted her head again to look at him.

“I will be the one to make the call.”

Sesshomaru took a deep breath before releasing her, somehow it left an empty feeling both within him and Kagome. She observed the lack of comfort in the bed, her heart heavy. It took her a while to tear her eyes away, glance in his direction. Sesshomaru was slowly walking over to his suitcase, where she assumed he had Kouga’s number. The famous suitcase.

He could feel her eyes on him, but he didn’t turn around.

Once Sesshomaru found the number, he took out his cellphone from his pocket and without glancing her way, he headed towards the bathroom. He needed a one on one talk with the Wolf and he didn’t need Kagome to hear everything.

As soon as he disappeared behind the door and closed it, she pulled her eyes away from him.

In her position, Kagome allowed her eyes to travel to her bulging stomach. Currently, she felt extremely dirty, especially since she could feel the dry blood on her legs, which made her sick to her stomach. She desperately wanted a bath to wash off the feeling, but she was afraid it would be too much movement. She just couldn’t bear to remain like this.

The tears began to fall down her cheeks and she made no attempts to stop them. This was the only way she could relieve some of her pain. She had promised herself she would stop crying, but keeping it in only made her more stressed. At least, crying brought some calmness within.

Between the burning sensation in her shoulder and the sharp pain from between her legs, all of it, she tried to wash away with tears. It barely worked, but it did help.

She rested a hand on her stomach, gently rubbing it.

“We’ll be okay. I promise we will. All of us.”

-B-
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Blood Stained