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Dreams of Red	By : Saranwyn Category: InuYasha > Yaoi - Male/Male > InuYasha/Sessh?maru > InuYasha/Sessh?maru Views: 5877 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha. These fictions are for entertainment purposes only and I do not make any money off of them.

Chapter List
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Sesshoumaru sat in his room, huddled on the bed, eyes red with crying. His hands continuously stroked his swollen stomach in small, soothing circles. It had been three months since he returned home, two months since he’d found out he was pregnant with InuYasha’s child. Demon pregnancies generally didn’t last as long as human ones. He was due to give birth in only two months. He wiped his eyes, reminding himself that he didn’t need to cry over InuYasha, anymore. The Hanyou had moved on, he would, too. A knock on the door startled him from his thoughts. He wiped his cheeks and put on his best, indifferent mask.
“Enter,” he called. A young serving girl came in, bearing a tray of tea. She glided forward to set it on his nightstand.
“The palace healer said it would help ease your symptoms,” she murmured shyly. Only four people other than Sesshoumaru knew about his pregnancy: his mother, the palace healer, his errand girl, and the captain of the guard.
“My symptoms are fine,” Sesshoumaru muttered, turning his eyes to the window. In order to keep his secret, he hadn’t gone outside since he’d started to show.
“My Lord,” the girl whispered timidly. “May I…touch…it?” Now Sesshoumaru’s full gaze turned to her, stabbing right through her. She cringed. “I-I’m sorry, I-!”
“Fine.”
“W-what?”
“Go ahead. If you want, I can appoint you to be her caretaker, when she is born.”
“She?”
“I can feel it’s a she.” A small, chilly hand came to rest on his stomach, rubbing slow circles. “Why can’t I hate her? I had the choice…have…the choice…of getting rid of her. So why didn’t I?” he mused aloud. The girl looked up at him, shocked.
“My Lord…you cannot hate her because she is your daughter.” Sesshoumaru blinked. He hadn’t been asking for an answer. Then he nodded. And what about him? What about the one that did this to me? Can I hate him? He pressed a hand to his chest. I must. “What will you name her?” the servant girl asked.
“I like the name Hisoka.” (A/N: I am pretty sure this is a unisex name – if it’s a guys name or whatever, please inform me.)
“Hisoka…that’s pretty.”
“What’s your name, girl?”
“Aiko, My Lord.”
“Aiko…hm.”
“Would you like me to pour you that tea, My Lord?”
“Yes. I think I would.” Aiko poured the tea for him. He sipped it, pleasantly surprised that, unlike the other herbs and teas the palace healer gave him, it tasted quite nice, sort of minty and refreshing. Sesshoumaru continued to sip the tea while Aiko rubbed his stomach. Suddenly, she gasped.
“I felt her move!” she cried softly, delighted.
“Is that so?”
“Mhm!” Sesshoumaru sighed. What will she look like? Will she have InuYasha’s ears? Will she remind me of him? Will I hate looking at her? “Oh, Sesshoumaru-sama?”
“Yes?”
“I arranged so that the garden would be completely emptied, if you want, so you can go outside.” Sesshoumaru blinked.
“Yes…I would like that.” He got out of bed and let her lead him out to the garden. The demon prince breathed a sigh of relief. After spending so long in his room, it felt nice to be outside, again. He inhaled deeply, tipping his face to the sky.
“Would you like to take your dinner out here?”
“Yes, I think so.” He stretched, the joints in his back and shoulders popping. “Actually…bring me something to eat now…I get so hungry nowadays.” Aiko bowed and hurried off. Sesshoumaru sat down and combed his fingers through his hair. He felt like screaming and sobbing and throwing things. That’s just the hormones, he told himself, forcing his emotions under control. Once this is over, you’ll be back to your normal, controlled self. This is all just in your head, so calm down.
“Sesshoumaru,” a soft voice murmured. He looked up.
“Mother.” She sat down next to him.
“That girl, Aiko, she seems to care a lot about you. Do you want me to have her made your personal servant?”
“No – I’d rather her keep her current position. I don’t really want to be bothered with an over-affectionate servant following me around all the time.” Suzumi glanced over at her son and frowned. She could see the hurt in him, the anguish, smoothed over by a carefully kept mask. She may be harsh, but this is not what she wanted for her son. Of course, she also hadn’t known that he was pregnant with InuYasha’s child, when she forced them apart. Still, even after she found out, she’d been hard-pressed to believe her son wouldn’t just get over it. After all, the mutt was just a Hanyou, nothing significant – Sesshoumaru shouldn’t have been so attached to him. Did I miscalculate? Well…what’s there to do about it now? What’s done is done. He will recover, she told herself.
“How’s the baby?” she asked at length.
“Well, if she doesn’t kill me before she’s born, she’ll be just fine.”
“You know, in a few weeks, your body’s going to start making some changes to support her, once she’s born.”
“I know.”
“…Why did you choose to keep her?” It wasn’t that Suzumi expected otherwise of her son – no mother could kill her child – but she wanted to know what had been going through his head, at the time.
“I…don’t know. I made the conscious decision to…several times…I contemplated different ways of doing it, but every time…I just couldn’t.”
“Do you want to raise her or will you-?”
“I want to raise her.” Suzumi blinked at the conviction in his voice.
“Alright. Look…I – well – I came out here today to tell you something.”
“What?”
“About the Hanyou.”
“…What do I care?”
“He was fighting a half-demon named Naraku, and he was sealed…to the trunk of the Tree of Ages.”
“So?”
“I just…thought you might want to know.”
“You thought wrong.” Suzumi sighed and stood, patting her son’s shoulder before walking off. Sesshoumaru stood, catching his lower lip between his teeth. Slowly he stood. The Tree of Ages – that’s by that old woman, Kaede’s, place. Resting a hand on his stomach he looked down at the growing body within him.
“I guess you should meet your father at least once, hm?” Glancing around to make sure no one was watching, he surrounded himself with his Ki and took off, a mere blur of blue light. Suzumi watched from a window. A soft sigh escaped her lips. I’m sorry, my son, she thought sadly. I never wanted this for you.
Sesshoumaru touched down in front of the Tree of Ages. There was InuYasha, held their by an arrow in his left shoulder, chest rising and falling in slow, deep breaths. He looked to be sleeping. He had tearstains on his cheeks. Why were you crying? Sesshoumaru wondered. Who could make you cry? He glided forward until he was right up in front of the Hanyou. His hand lifted of his own accord to touch his cheek.
“Why…InuYasha…After everything you did to me…despite how much I hate you…why must I still love you?” he whispered, a tear spilling down his cheek. He sniffed slightly in an attempt to fight down the urge to cry. “Why is it…that I feel sad…seeing you like this? Why is it that I want to touch you, to hold you and be held by you, still?” More tears, faster. Breathing harder, more ragged. “Why?!” He slammed his fist into the tree, narrowly missing the half-demon’s head. “Why am I like this?!” He went weak, slumping forward to rest his forehead on his ex-lover’s shoulder. “I-I am Prince Sesshoumaru of the West, Heir to the Great Dog Demon…I should not be like this. I am composed. I am strong. I am not this. Why did you do this to me? Are you satisfied now? Did it make you happy to see me like this? Did you know I’m pregnant…with your child? Did that thought even occur to you when you took me? Did you care? It w-was your plan from the beginning, right? It was all so you could take me. And you did. You took all of me. I have nothing left for myself, anymore.”
His voice broke and he stopped speaking, trying his best to at least seem as composed as he could make himself. This Sesshoumaru does not cry. This Sesshoumaru is above this, but I…I can’t help it. Why does it have to hurt so much? At long length he stopped crying. Not bothering to wipe away his tearstains, he straightened. Leaning in, he left a long, cold kiss on the boy’s lips, and when he drew away, his face was stony.
“Goodbye, InuYasha,” he monotoned. (A/N: Yes, I know “monotoned” is not a real word, but I believe in fiddling with the grammar rules and parts of speech and the like, so there is it – it means to say something monotonously, if you couldn’t pick that up.)
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- 6
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Dreams of Red