Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

M.I.A	By : Maddiesan Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Kouga/Kagome Views: 4873 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
A/N: FIRST UPDATE OF 2016. And it's may...

Sorry guys. I just - I'm really trying to be better. And I'm trying to feel better. I just - I have no faith in my stuff, I hate everything I write lately (read as: last 3 years). So it's been hard to give myself a kick in the butt. Cause I'm like, well they gonna hate it. So why.

M.I.A

Chapter 5: Blood, Sex and Booze

Warmth filled her inside as rough hands roamed the lengths of her legs. Her back was overly arched in a way that should bring her pain but she was too far gone to notice. All she wanted to feel was him. His mouth was on her, attacking her as though she was the nectar of life. Burning lips left trails of wetness on every inch of skin he could find. She melted like a puddle against him. Every touch, every sensation was like new. She had sex before - or at least she thought she did, but his body was telling her otherwise. His erection was pressing against the inside of her thigh, applying pressure, teasing her. He was grinding against her while one of his hands were keeping her arms above her head.

He did not want her to touch him.

She wanted to argue with that, she wanted to free her hands but - but her mind was nothing but numbness. The alcohol was flowing through her veins, rising her body temperature and rendering everything around her mellow. She wanted more, she wanted less - she wanted it all. She inhaled deeply and leaned her head backwards, presenting even more of her body to his eyes.

And he feasted on her.

How long did he want this?

Back when he was himself, he would have killed for the chance to touch her. He would have done anything to sink his fingers in her soft flesh. Now? Now, he needed it more than ever but he did not deserve it. He wanted to take in every taste, every touch. He needed to memorize her skin and her scent. He knew he was squeezing her wrists way too tight but neither of them cared. If he let her go now, before he got the words he wanted, they would get lost into the moment and he would not obtain what he sought.

"Say it."

Say what? Her mind was dizziness, and sex. She buckled her hips, angry at the missing feeling she was promised.

"Say it."

"W-what?" she managed to croak out.

"Say you'll do it."

Hurt him. He wanted her to say she would hurt him.

A ghost of hesitation danced on her lips but as she let herself feel his pressed erect cock, she knew this was what she wanted. "I ww-ill." The alcohol was making it difficult for her to pronounce the words. It did not matter.

Maybe if she went far enough, and maybe if he took her with him, she would understand. Understand him. Understand herself. Or maybe she would forget all about it.

She was completely intoxicated - he should let her free, and he should be the bigger man. A good man would walk away from her. He was not a good man. Instead, he finally let his fingers unwrap from around her wrists, leaving a trail of white fingermarks on her pale skin. Now that he had both of his hands, he let them roam to her ass, squeezing the cheeks and lifting her off the ground. After what seemed like forever, he felt her hands touch his back, roaming down the length of his muscles. He did not like it. He tensed under her and his fingers that were brushing up against the soft skin of her ass paused.

Pain.

He wanted pain.

Kagome pressed her breasts against his chest, giving herself courage, and then she unleashed herself. A buzzing light emanated from her fingers, slowly sizzling against his skin. He closed his eyes, groaning against the sensation. It burned, it hurt. His entire body was being lite on fire and he relished the feeling. More blood traveled downwards, making his cock painfully hard. He needed to fuck her. He wanted to fuck her. He wanted to experience the bliss of her pain. She moved her hands around, never shutting off her light, and he bent over, reaching for her neck. He lapped at the skin, nibbling as he made his way to her ear.

"I won't be nice."

"Good."

It was barely slurred but it was full of hope.

He hissed as his skin began to become sensitize under her touch but he never pulled away. Instead, he kept his mouth on her cheek, her chin, her lips, while his hands were otherwise busy. It took barely a moment for the button to pop and before Kagome could inhale, the cold air wrapped around her legs and behind. It should have sobered her up a bit, but she was too far gone. Too far gone into the numbness, too far gone into him. She was vaguely aware of him undoing his own pants. Except, unlike her he did not complete get rid of them.

"C-condom?"

He had thought about it. He always used that. He fucked whores he found in bars - he was careful. He did not need any undesired results from his indiscretions. But - but Kagome was different. He still did not want an unwanted pregnancy. But he knew she did have any disease. She was not fertile at the moment. He wanted to mark her with his seed and leave a trail of his presence. He wanted to feel all of her, all of her power touching his skin. He could only do that if he was bare.

"It's fine."

She looked at him, confusion in her glossy eyes as she tilted her head to the side.

"You're safe," he added before tapping his nose beneath her chin. Although, he doubted she would get his innuendo while being this intoxicated.

It was bad. She always wore something with Hojo. Right? No. Yes. Ugh. Tired. For the first time, she let the light die down from her fingers. She never used her powers for such an extended period of time before - it was draining.

When the familiar tingle of pain left his back, he arched an eyebrow. He glanced up at her only to see her half closed eyelids and the beads of sweat running down her face. It was fine for now. She was not resting her hands on him. He could do this. She could take a break from bringing him pain. No touching though. He inhaled deeply, hoping the intake of breath would calm his nerves and soothe him. It did not. He wrapped a hand around his cock, stroking himself, ignoring the gash he felt beneath his index each time he did so.

Once his energy was found again, he let his fingers travel to her wet folds. He pushed a finger inside and slid in with no problem. She bucked beneath the ministrations, a silent gasp founding its way past her lips. She twisted her body beneath him, pushing his finger even deeper inside of him. The sensation traveled through her, forcing her toes to curl. She could not remember the last time she was touched, the last time she was teased. Her chest was compressed, her breath was hard to find and it was making her dizzy. His finger was pumping in and out of her, teasing her of the pleasures to come. IAnd she wanted them. She wanted to lose herself.

For a moment, she did not want to be Kagome.

And then, she forgot all that she promised. Her hands clamped down on his shirt, bunching it beneath her fingers. Fingers palmed at his back and he tensed, almost ready to retrieve his finger. He winced, his fangs poking at his lips, threatening to break the fragile membrane. He warned her, did he not? He stopped all movements, all fingering. Instead, he leaned in, hovering over her body. Almost touching her, but never actually making contact. Moist lips brushed against her ear, teasing her further.

"If you don't keep your end of the bargain, I won't fuck you."

His voice was hoarse, his words were harsh and yet she found herself mindlessly nodding. She needed more. This was nothing more than a mere tease and she wanted the real thing; she wanted all the silent promises he never made her. All the ones she made up in her head.

This time, she released her power while her hands were pressed to him completely. And he felt the surge. He jolted upwards, an animalistic groan slipping his lips. Yes. This was what he needed. He did not think twice before snatching his finger away from her wet, warm cunt. Instead, he found himself eager to replace it with something far more interesting. He did not even give her a warning. Instead, he slipped himself inside of her without hesitation. He slammed inside, feeling her tightness wrap around him in an almost unbearable way. She heaved as he pressed his chest on her, nearly crushing her.

He filled her, he stretched her and she could not catch her breath. She did not want to either. She licked her dry lips while wrapping her legs around his waist. A move he did not appreciate. That was immediately shown to her when he roughly gripped her legs and slid his hands down to her ankles. He used his newfound grip to stretch out her legs before pushing them downwards. And he kept pushing down, pushing her to her limit as her legs almost reached her face. Now, he was back in control. He controlled her legs, he controlled her body. The tremble of uncertainty left his body and he resumed thrusting inside of her. The new position of her legs offered him a new depth and he took full advantage of it, pushing in as much as she could take.

She wanted to slam her legs back downwards, she wanted to squeeze his waist with her legs and the fact that he was preventing that was frustrating. She was forced to move her hands to his stomach, laying them flat against it. She knew the tensing was not from all the muscles working. It was from her hands - her tiny hands. She wanted to ask, she wanted to know but her blurred out brain could not even begin to form words - even less questions. Instead, she gave in, and gave him again what he wanted.

Sparkles flew from her hands, nearly forcing him backwards. He held himself in place with the strength of his legs. Eventually, he was forced to let one of her legs go to steady himself with the ground. The whole time, he kept his pace going. He was sliding in and out of her, the juices pouring out as she dug her lips into her bottom lip. He was not nice, he was not kind, he was not slow. Instead, he took everything she had to give and she gave it all. A hand moved to her breast, squeezing it - hard enough to leave a bruise behind. Fingers flickered around the cloth covered nipple and she arched herself into him.

He watched her, parted lips, breathless and closed eyes. Her hair was a mess surrounding her hair while her limbs were all tangled. She wanted more than he could give. She wanted something he no longer had.

He did not want to see her face, he did not want to see the kindness that remained on it. Life was hard on her but there was the ghost of the girl he knew. He was not the boy she knew.

He hid himself away. He buried his face in the crook of her neck while her fingers worked away, giving him the pain he so desperately sought but rarely ever obtained. She could do it all the time, every day. She could hurt him. Kouga lost himself, he let the pain surround him. Teeth sunk in her flesh and he drew blood. He lapped at the red liquid while it stained her perfect skin. It was metallic, it was warm. He was cold, he was always so cold. He felt his cock swell inside of her as he violently thrusted inside, not even afraid to break her.

Kagome was moaning, her mind swirling. She could feel the pain throbbing in her neck but she could also feel the build up in her crotch. Hojo was kind, soft and slow. Kouga was using her. He was fucking her like she was not a fragile little girl. He was pounding inside of her, twirling her inside like she was a ragged doll. She could feel it. What he felt like. He felt like nothing. She was nothing. She was a body, she was breathing, her heart was beating but she was nothing more than flesh. She craved to have her arms wrapped around him, she craved to feel the warmth of his skin, but he was not done restraining her.

She could feel tears polling in the corner of her eyes. She would not cry. Why should she cry? She was not sad, this was - this was amazing. Her whole body was numbed, while foreign sensations traveled through her. And yet, something was missing. But her cloudy brain could not figure it out. Instead, she chose to shut off all parts of her that might hesitate and doubt. She focused all of her energy on her hands, releasing all the pain he wanted and freeing herself from all the sorrow she refused to let build up in her chest. And he relished it. He took every bit of power she had to give him. And every time a surge went through him, he bit another spot on her neck. Blood, more blood. Bruises, more bruises.

Kouga could feel his claws poking it, ripping at her skin while he held her leg up. He pushed himself inside of her, slightly twisting her body to the left, trying to give himself a new angle of penetration. And she reacted to it. Moans got louder, her body shivered and lips parted. He watched her ass bounce with every thrust he took, he focused on the sight of her skin, he took in all the pain. He tore his lips from her neck - he wanted to wreck her. He wanted to take her and take her until it was obvious she was nothing but his. And it was why he was dangerous for her.

Her power began dying out, her energy focused elsewhere. Her body was thumping and drumming to the rhythm of his cock. She could feel jolts of pain coming from everywhere on her body as though everything was nothing more than giant bruise and yet it did nothing to diminish the pleasure and the intensity of the orgasm coming her way. Her body wanted to fold over itself, to retract himself from the intensity of the pleasure but she did not let it. Instead, she forced herself down - or was he the one doing that? - And she let it wash over her.

She came, her core tightening around him, while her nectar flew, wrapping his cock, and leaking out of her. The sudden surge in wetness and the last power up was too much for him to handle and he followed her into nirvana, coating her insides with his seed. He nearly collapsed on top of her but he stopped himself. He slammed his hands on the ground, one of them unfortunately hitting her arm, and smacking her. He saw her wince as he removed his hand away from her. He was breathing loudly through his nose, trying to catch his breath.

There was a left over of the feeling of pain she had inflicted on him but unfortunately he could not relish in it.

Instead, he pushed himself over, popping his cock out of her. He rolled to his side, collapsing on the ground beside her.

Her chest was heaving and she was puffing, never staring at him. Instead, she was wide eyed, staring at the ceiling.

And he did the same.

And then the shame appeared.

-M-

The dawn was breaking through, shining nothing more than a bright orange light upon the kitchen table. Kouga was sitting by himself, his chin resting in the palm of his hand while he stared ahead into the emptiness. There was a coffee mug in front of him but he was not paying much attention to it. The heat irradiated from it, sending a fresh of hot air on his face. After their little adventure, Kagome had managed to drag her body to the couch. Her movements had been sluggish and drunkish. But she had made it. He meant to move her to the bedroom but once she was passed out, he did not dare move her.

And he did not need the bedroom - because he did not sleep. Especially not now.

Memories of her made his cock throb. Thoughts of her swirled in his mind making him intoxicated again. Or was that all the rum he had since day break? He did not even know why he make coffee… He was not going to drink it…

He also did not want her to wake up. He did not want to see her face. He did not want to look at the mark he left behind and he did not want her to look at him with those eyes.

She knew he did not want to be touch. She knew he wanted pain. How could she not realize how fucked up he was by now? How could she not leave him now that she knew how disgusting he was?

She had to go. He wanted her to go because he did not want to take her down with him.

As if he needed more regrets, as if he needed more guilt. He already had enough of those for a lifetime, and he would be drinking them away for a lifetime.

But he did not want to regret her.

"Morning."

The soft sound of her voice startled him. How could she sneak up on him?

He cleared his throat but avoided any kind of eye contact. "Morning."

He listened to every sound she made, everything she touched. From the grazing of her slender fingers upon the wooden chair to the shift in the fabric of her pants as she moved through the space surrounding him; he heard it all. If he were to pay more attention, he knew he would notice that he had ceased to breathe - but it did not matter. His irises turned red for a beat as he felt the shame that swelled in his chest, a heavy weight that made it impossible to inhale any oxygen. He was not supposed to taint her; he was supposed to keep his darkness inside of himself and never let it out. He ruined her and he did not want to see the damage or repercussions of his actions.

Kouga much preferred running from the truth.

The one thing that caught his attention, that even forced him to dare to look in her direction was a familiar sound. The sound of a glass bottle hitting his kitchen table; the cling of the glass against the hardness of the wood. His ears perked, slightly flaring in direction of the sound and he could not help himself. Blue orbs shifted to the left, and he stared. He stared as he watched her dark mane cascade downwards while she tilted her head backwards. He watched the glistening of her lips as they were smeared with the familiar honey color of his rum. The bottle titled, emptying its content in her mouth and he gazed mesmerized.

She was drinking.

Was she drinking because he drank or was she drinking because she wanted to forget?

Or why not both?

And most of all; did he dare to ask?

"Are we doing silent morning?" Her voice was shakier than she intended which broke away all illusions that she was the confident one. The silent was killing her, slowly digging at her and making her lose her sanity. What happened - happened. She was fine with it - or at least she thought she was. But he clearly was not and that made her doubt everything. Was she wrong? Was she wrong to think what happened was fine? Well, clearly it was not fine. Nothing was fine about burning away someone's flesh while they pounded you. Well, she did not burn his flesh away. He was fine this morning; completely unmarked.

It was - it was messed up.

What was the rule about messed up things? Do not speak of them, pretend they are fine?

She was not good at the whole not talking thing. She really tried.

"Are we going to talk about it?"

He winced. She winced.

Now they were.

Kouga's grip around his mug tightened, his joints turning white. He needed more alcohol if he was going to get through this conversation. "What do you want to talk about?" And down the liquid goes. In one quick maneuver, he emptied the rest of his cup. It burned on its way down and it was exactly the feeling he sought.

"What happened."

He scoffed, a chuckle stuck in his throat, block his airway. "What did happen?"

He did not know, he could not explain it. It was easier with the random girls he picked up. They did not talk, there was no morning after and he certainly did not act with them the way he acted with her. He did not care about them. He fucked them quickly, to relieve the tension, and then he disappeared into the night. He never had to face anyone after his actions. Actually, there was one girl. But - she did not count. He faced her and he faced her and it destroyed him. Or saved him? He did begin his addicting to rum through her. Perhaps it was not as bad he remembered it.

"I hurt you."

This time, he had to look at her. "You didn't hurt me." She could never hurt him. He now knew what real pain was and someone like Kagome could never inflict that kind of pain upon him. She did not have it in her, no matter how destroyed she might be. She would never be that cruel, that heartless.

"I did, your skin."

"My skin has nothing," he said looking in her direction but never meeting those orbs of hers. "I heal."

"Do you?"

It was mean, it was full of judgement but she had not been able to help herself. He clearly healed physically but he did not psychologically. Who demanded pain? Then again, who gave it? She welcomed the pounding in her head; it freed her from some of her guilt. Although it was not nearly enough. Hence why she had bottle in her hand, ready to drink again. She understood why he did it now. It was about constantly numbing the new mistakes. Because the truth was; nobody made smart decisions while they were drunk. And then, well, more alcohol was needed to forget the stupidities done the day before.

But the bad part? She had wanted it. She still did. Memories of his hands caressing her skin haunted her. Her core felt warm simply thinking about him pounding inside of her.

Was it wrong?

"It's none of your business." His tone was dry. He did not like to be attacked. He did not like to be judge. "Nobody forced you." Now he was trying to relieve his own guilt. She had been pretty wasted.

"I never said you did."

"Then why do you care?"

"I care about you."

He scoffed. "You didn't use to."

Now he was pushing her away. He was being hurtful on purpose because he thought that would make her run away. If she had not run by now, she was not going to run. "I always cared. The fact that I didn't return your declaration of love didn't mean I didn't care." She healed him when he was injured, she worried when he got hurt. She simply was not in love with him.

As a matter of fact, now that she could look back on her experience, she could see that she did not know anything about love. Because she had thought she was in love with Inuyasha. Which had been a clear mistake. A crush. A nothing.

"Same difference."

"It isn't."

"What do you want from this conversation, Kagome?" he asked, his tone more irritated than ever.

"I want you to look me in the eyes."

But he did not. Instead, he forced her to come to him. Her breasts were nearly to his face as she stood in front of him. He had to be confronted, he had to pushed. Else, she would not get anything out of him. But then again, he was right. What did she want from this? She did not want to give him love any more than he wanted to give her love. They were - different, they were - alike? She did not know anymore.

A long sigh was drawn from his lips but he looked at her. "Happy?" It tasted bitter in his mouth; he was not happy.

"No. Not that you would know what that feels like."

"I don't."

"What happened?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

Now that eye contact was made, he refused to be the one who broke it. He was going to stare her down until the moment was over. He was going to look into her eyes until he won. Because he had to win something, anything.

He got to have the best experience, the one he always wanted; he got to make her his. A little bit. Not in the wolf sense of the world, but - well. It was enough. Five hundred years ago, he would have wanted nothing more. He would have simply wanted a touch, a kiss. A promise. He got more than that and there was nothing he could do with it. She was not his - she would never be his. She was a floating light in his life. One that would burn him and one that he could consume - if she let him.

And she would.

Unless she did not step down.

"K-ouga."

"You agreed to do it. You wanted me to fuck you. I did."

The words were real, they were crude and she did not expect to hear them said like that. But this new Kouga hide his real feelings even less than the old version of himself.

"I did."

"Then what is the problem?" Her orbs were shiny. Tears? No. No tears. He did not do well with tears. "If you wanna leave, leave. I ain't holding you back. It was sex."

It was just sex. It was great sex. Minus the pounding headache she was now left with and yes - she could leave. But if she had no left before, why leave now? She did not come for the sex. She stayed because she sought something from him. She stayed because she needed him to let her know how he managed to go on for so long. She stayed because let's face it… where was she going to go? Back home? No, she could not go back home. She was not ready for that step yet. Then again, wandering around, even with the cheapest option— it was going to cost her. This was efficient and this - this was a security blanket.

She knew him, he was from the past. He was the only thing she knew in this world that was now strange to her.

And she was clutching to him.

And it was wrong, but she was doing it.

"I don't wanna leave." The words were hushed like a whisper. Her voice was a tremble, her body was a leaf - shaking.

"Then what do you want?" As he spoke, he rose to his feet, attempting to be as challenging as she thought she was. Now, if he wanted to stare into her eyes, he had to look down. She looked up, her chin ready to dig into his chest now that he was towering over her. Every time he breathed in, he could feel the near brush of her nose against him.

He knew what he wanted. He wanted more pain, he wanted to dip himself inside of her once more. But things were different now. She was different. She actually knew what it entailed.

"Will you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"Why I can't touch you."

He used to grab her hands, he used to constantly seek her touch and now - the mere thought of her hands on him seemed to repulse him. A million answers formed in her head but she did not know if any of them were right. All she knew was that he was different.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because it's none of your business."

Words. Too many words. He did not want her to talk. He wanted her to shut up and listen. Maybe he could at least shut her up. She wanted to dig at him, she wanted answers to questions he refused to ask himself. Why dwell on the past? It was not going to make the present any better. Actually, it would simply make it worse. He hated it, he hated it all.

"What if it is?"

"It isn't."

"I might wanna touch you while you fuck me." She tried not to wince at her use of his vocabulary.

He scoffed. "Then maybe I won't fuck you again."

There was his opening. There was his chance to deviate the subject. If he distracted her, she would forget.

He leaned forward, warm breath tickling over her sensitive skin. It made her dizzy - or was it the alcohol doing that - and she leaned in herself. "Or maybe you're staying because that's why you're here."

It used that fucking voice. The voice he used when he told her about the fantasy, about the blowjob he wished she had given him. And as it did the first time she heard it, shivers went down her spine. More - more but it was never enough.

"I don't know why I'm here."

Finally a truth. One she was convinced of - one that did not leave a bad taste in her mouth.

He would never speak, he would never allow hands to freely roam across his chest - but he could show her. He could show her there was another way. A way that involved the same kind of pleasure without any of the discomfort. She did not know any better. Actually, from what she said, she knew nothing. He could show her, he could mold her. He could wreck her and she would never even know. He could do it all.

Kouga let his fingers wander downwards and she did not bulge. She did not even look down when his fingers began fumbling with the belt upon her belt. And when he undid it and tugged it off her body, she remained like a statue. Why did she trust him so much? Why did she let him do as he pleased? It called out to him - like she was bringing out that side of him, the wild one, that he thought died a long time ago. He wanted to take all the submission she was giving him and use it for himself. He wanted to use it to trick her, to show her things she could not even think of - but, but it was Kagome. And every time a perverted urge rose inside of him, something wanted to hold him back.

But did he even have any remnants of decency left in him? Did he not tossed that out the window when he fucked her? She had been drunk. She did not know.

But now she was sober - maybe - and she was back for more. Was that not a sign?

Doubts rolled off of him as she ran her tongue over her bottom lip, leaving a glister behind, and he knew he had to try. His hands shifted and he gripped both of her arms, moving them away from her body. She watched, a new fear in her eyes, while he slowly wrapped the belt around her wrists and then… he tightened, he tightened, and he only stopped when he was sure her shoulders could not take any more of it.

"Last chance. Are you running?"

-M-

"Tick-tock. Time is running out for you little wolf."

A whimper, nothing more than whimper.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you."

Another whimper. But louder - or was it more desperate?

"I thought you knew better than this. I thought you knew the rules."

The leather dragged on the ground. He heard it. He could always hear it. His voice was stuck in his throat. The hair on his back was standing straight. And he could feel it coming. Instincts screaming to run but they could not be followed.

Nothing could move. Everything was bound.

"Time is up." And there was a smile in the voice. She was tiny, she had to be.

"I hate doing this, but you won't learn."

And then, the blood splattered.

And there were no more whimpers.
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M.I.A