Dirty Little Secret

Disclaimer: Yada yada yada, don’t own it.

Dirty Little Secret
Chapter Five:

Caught. Trapped. Ensnared. By my own trap, how wretched is this? I know I am acting irrational but I can’t seem to rein myself in. I just need to take a deep breath and slow down.

I was kneeling down to wash my hands at the stream when I saw them, Kikiyo’s soul stealers, winding in and out of the trees on the other side of the river. I looked down to see my reflection in the water, but I didn’t see myself I saw her. As the last one danced out of sight, Inuyasha chose that time to sneak up behind me and rip off my LAST PAIR OF PANTIES! Damn that rude dog boy. I just snapped.

I overreacted, I know I did. I mean I have been letting him rip up my panties for the last couple of weeks now, then all the sudden I go off the deep end? I spit out a nail as I look forlornly down at my hand. Mama hates it when I bite my nails, but I’m just so wound up.

I know he is going to be bounding up out of the well any minute now but I just can’t stand to see him just yet. That’s why I grabbed some sutras at the shrine and endowed them with my power. I have slapped them over my bedroom window and door, fully intending on not seeing him until I am good and ready. For good measure I stride over and sweep the curtains closed on my window.

I pace back and forth rapidly still chewing my nails. What am I going to do? How did I get into this mess? Arst rst I said that lust is more powerful than love. I thought I could make myself his addiction. I smack myself in the head. What was I thinking?

I stop in the middle of the room as I hear a thump and a hiss from outside of the window. Big sigh, dog boy is here.

“Kagome!” He shouts.

I wince, why is he always so loud? “Go away.” I scream. Hmm I am pretty loud myself.

“No! Let me in right now wench!” He barks.

“Oswari.” Big crash

“Bitch!” He snarls from the ground, but loud enough that I can hear him.

“Oswari.” THUMP

It’s quiet for a few moments, but I know it’s not the end of it.

THUMP

I glance at my bedroom door.

“Bitch, why do you have protection charms up? Let me in right now!” He snarls meanly.

“No, I want to be left alone right now.” I demand.

“What do you mean you want to be left alone?” He asks.

“Just what I said, I want to be left alone!” I holler.

“Kagome.” His voice has dropped to a whisper and I can hear the pain and rejection in his voice.

I step closer to the door leaning my forehead against it. “Please Inuyasha, I just need some time to think, I promise that I will come back after school tomorrow.” I plead.

“I don’t want to leave you alone. I can’t leave you alone.” He sounds like he is right outside the door, like he is leaning against it too.

“It’s okay Inuyasha, really. I just need some space.” I am almost in tears now.

“I can’t leave you.” His voice has dropped even lower and I almost miss his words.

“Fine, then stay, but I don’t want to see you until tomorrow afternoon. So find a tree and camp out in it.” I say quietly, but with determination.

After a few minutes, I hear him move away from the door, and thanks to my Miko powers I know he has left the house. I sigh deeply, I am so sad I don’t know what to do.

My mother comes and asks me if I want something to eat, but I tell her no. I am just lying on my bed staring at the ceiling and thinking.

As the moon rises I can hear Inuyasha begin to howl a sad serenade. I have never heard him do bef before and I begin to cry in earnest, because I know it’s me that has caused all this pain.

Around 2am I finally get honest with myself. I am scared. Scared that I love Inuyasha too much to bear. The more I am with him the more it feels like my heart is going to burst from my chest and when we are separated I feel like it’s breaking. I thought I loved him before, now I can’t live without him.

Sex was so good, but such a bad idea at the same time. Instead of him becoming addicted I am the one that can’t get enough of him.

Not once has he told me that he loves me and if he doesn’t love me then he must love her. I just can’t take it. That’s why I freaked out at the stream. I didn’t want to see him bound off after the soul stealers. I didn’t want to see him with her again, or to hear the words that would come. I would shatter and nothing would put me back together again.

Okay Kagome, you have to get rational. You can’t just break down like this every time you don’t get your way. You have to think your way out of this.

I take a deep breath and I begin to form a plan. I am still in the game, this is just half time. Kikiyo just appeared a little sooner than scheduled that’s all. Point for me, I prevented Inuyasha from seeing her and now he is in my time where she can’t get to him.

By the time we go back tomorrow, hopefully she will have moved out of the area and I will have a little more time. Time for what? Time to get Inuyasha to fall in love with me? Is that going to happen?

I sigh, my eyes feel like they have been sandblasted and I am exhausted. That’s when it becomes clear. I would go back with Inuyasha, and I would love him with all my heart. I would show him what real caring and affection felt like. I have no choice, I can’t breathe without him near. I won’t tell him the real reason that I ran away. If the day comes and he chooses her over me then so be it, but at least I know that I tried and that I didn’t give up without a fight. After all, if you truly love someone, then you let them go. Even if it kills you.

I fall asleep, his melancholy howls echoing in my ears.

Sango’s POV

I did it!

I strode into camp, right up to him and I did it!

“Houshi, clean the mud off my boots.”

I gave him an order and I expected him to obey, but oh the fear I felt in my heart. The world came to a grind halt as he looked rignto nto my eyes, searching for something, an answer to some question. He must have found it because he gave me a look full of adulation and took the rag from my hand. The world then felt like it was spinning out of control as he kneeled down and wiped the mud from my boots so sensuously that I almost melted right then and there.

I was aware of the other’s watching, but it felt like they were at a distance. We were the only ones in the moment, lost in our own fantasy. When he finished I had to practically run out of the camp or I would have thrown him onto the ground right there and ravished him. Can a woman ravish a man? I wouldn’t mind trying that’s for sure.

Is this what love feels like?

Kagome’s POV

As I leave for school, I glance around the compound but I see no sign of Inuyasha. It is so unlike him to heed my requests so thoroughly. I shrug, it’s just as well since I’m not ready to see him yet anyways.

School is the same as ever, I am getting more and more behind and I furiously copy notes from my classmates in an effort to catch up. In a strange twist of fate, however I did come across a rather odd object. One of the students brought a cat-o-nine to school as a joke. It is a small whip with numerous leather strips used in bondage for lashing your lover.

At the end of the day, I bought it from him for five yen, telling him that I wanted to use it as a gag gift for a friend. Heh, perfect.

I go home and pack my bag up with supplies, making sure to get extra ramen just for Inuyasha as a peace offering. Taking a deep breath I step outside and walk to the well house, knowing that he will be right behind me.

I walk down the steps to the well and stand before it, no sooner had I stopped than I hear him behind me.

“I’m sorry, Inuyasha.” I say quietly.

“What’s wrong Kagome?” He asks just as quietly.

“Nothing is wrong, I just overreacted. You really scared me when you snuck up on me and I just blew it up all out of proportion. I really am sorry.” I turn to face him, and I almost cry when I see his sad eyes and his ear ears.

“They were just panties.” He pouts.

“I know, and I am sorry.” I repeat, but I know that’s not what he’s really upset about.

I see him screw up his face and I brace myself knowing what’s coming next.

“Why did you lock me out Kagome?” He says sadly.

A tear escapes and trails down my cheek. I walk up to him and place my hand against the side of his face. “I just wanted to see if I could live without you. And, do you know what I found?” I say softly.

He shakes his head no and I lean in closer so that my lips brush faintly against his.

“I can’t.” I whisper, before capturing his lips in a sweet kiss.

He doesn’t move at first but then he slides his arms around me pulling me close to his chest while his tongue licks my lips entreating my mouth for entry. I open them and dart my tongue out to touch the tip of his, leading it back into my mouth. I sink my hands into his thick hair searching for his sensitive ears. He deepens the kiss even more as I begin to massage the base of those doggy appendages.

Slowly he breaks away and looks deeply into my eyes. I know he is looking for the truth in them, for the words that I can not say. Before he can read my soul I let my lids drift shut and I sigh against his skin.

“Please, make love to me Inuyasha.”

At my words I can feel his arms tighten around me and a low growl rumbles in his chest. He picks me up and leaps into the well. Through my closed lids I can see a flash of blue lights signaling our passage through time. I can smell the summer sun as we enter the Warring States Era and a soft smile passes over my lips.

Without effort he bounds out of the well and away from the village, taking me deep into the forest. He finally stops in a grassy field that is blanketed in vibrant flowers. Setting me down in the fragrant field, he steps away from me. I look at him and I can see the sorrow in his gaze. I know he is uncertain, after what has passed between us so to reassure him I smile brightly and reach out my hand to him.

He takes my hand and pulls me to him. He looks deep into my eyes and raises a clawed hand to caress my cheek. His thumb skims over my lower lip and he dips his head to trace its path with his tongue. I suck in my breath at the sensation he creates and shivers ripple down my spine.

Softly he presses his lips against mine, while still holding my hand and caressing my face with his other hand. He lifts his head from the sweet kiss and begins to undo his hoari. He spreads it out on the grass, with the soft side up so not to scratch our skin. Gently he leads me over to sit upon it, joining me by my side.

He reaches both hands up and cups my face in his palms. He smoothes over my eyebrows with his thumbs, letting them drift down to gently close my eyes. I feel him lean in and rub his nose against mine. I feel his breath against my cheek before his soft tongue begins to lightly trace my upper lip. My lips part as I gasp, and he slides inside my mouth with a sensual slowness that causes heat to pool in my stomach.

He threads his hands into my hair, tilting my head slightly back to give him greater access to my mouth. His kiss is slow and soft. Like he is exploring my mouth for the first time and wants to memorize every crevice.

He pushes me onto my back and begins to cover my face with kisses, eventually trailing down my neck. I reach up and press my hands against his chest, feeling his hard muscles straining against me.

His tongue dances over my pounding pulse and it begins to roar in my ears. A soft moan escapes my lips as he nips it slightly. He deftly begins to undo the buttons of my blouse, covering every inch of newly exposed skin with scalding kisses. He brings me up to a sitting position just for a moment, in order for me to slip my arms out of the blouse, before he tosses it aside.

His claws skim over my ribcage and I sigh as the heat becomes more intense at the apex of my thighs. He moves lower down my body, and I can hear him unzip my skirt. I lift my hips to allow him to slide it down my legs. I am only dressed in my bra and panties now. I open one eye to gauge his reaction to my undergarments, but he merely lays himself out beside me and begins to lavish my neck with more tantalizing licks and kisses.

I moan as I feel his hand trail across my collar bone, as he slides one finger under my bra strap. He pushes it down my shoulder following its path with small nips until it traps my arm against me. He captures my mouth in another soul searing kiss as he gently tugs at me, indicating that he wants me to roll over to lean up against him. While still kissing me, he undoes my bra before laying me back down on my back, allowing my breasts to spring free.

He trails kisses down my neck and collar bone, and I begin to sigh deeply as I realize what he is going to do. His sharp teeth skim over the top of my hard nipple, causing me to shudder with pleasure. His tongue flicks out, lashing the crown with its heat. I begin to moan as he brings up his hand to brush across my other breast. He draws my tender flesh into his mouth causing my body to arch against him seeking more contact.

My small hands delve into his hair and I begin to caress his ears, knowing that it drives him wild. He begins to growl and the vibration runs through my entire body. He switches his attention to the other breast as his hand trails down my stomach only to slide past my aching flesh and comes to a rest on the top of my thigh. So close, yet so far.

He leaves my breasts only to begin a long torturous journey down my midriff. Stopping to dip his tongue into my sensitive belly button. I hiss as he nips the underside of my belly right above my panty line. Both his hands have settled themselves on my hips, while mine are fisted at my sides. My body is arching in desire, but there is no relief in sight.

I feel the hot path of his tongue as it slips under my panties, taunting me with its presences. I growl in the back of my throat and I hear an answering growl from him. I feel his teeth as he takes the cloth in his mouth and begins to tug them off me using only his mouth. I raise my hips to assist him as he slidhem hem down.

His hands caress my legs all the way down, eventually encircling my ankles. He begins to nip the tips of my toes while massaging the arches of my feet. I moan deeply as I can feel the pressure that he applies on the bottom of my foot all the way up to my lower back.

He kisses, licks and nips his way back up my legs until he is crouched between my knees, breathing in my scent deeply. I am so wet now, I know that I am pooling on his robe beneath me but I don’t care.

He spreads my thighs and begins to lap delicately at my swollen core. I throw my head back and lift my hips, pressing closer to his beautiful mouth. My hands find their way back into his hair, this time to hold him against me as the tendrils of pleasure unfurl in the pit of my stomach.

He slips two fingers into me gently and beings to thrust slowly. He carefully builds the heat in my body, increasing his rhythm slowly and methodically. I begin to writhth pth pleasure and need, my moans becoming louder with each thrust. The sensations coil inside my body until finally the hard knot in my stomach shatters and sparks fly throughout my body.

I throw back my head and scream as it feels like my skin is on fire and the delicious sensations roll through me. As it ebbs I become aware that Inuyasha has moved away to finish disrobing, but before I can mourn the loss, he is back and covering me with his lean body.

I part my legs to allow him access and I can feel his tip nudging against me. He entwines his fingers with mine, holding my hands above my head. He lowers his head giving me a deep kiss while he teases my entrance. I moan ast hst his lips, my hips shifting with need. He raises his head to look down at me. His amber eyes looking deep into mine as he slides his shaft into me with one smooth stroke.

He begins to move with in me slowly. I ease my legs up around his hips and gasp as it allows him deeper access. He begins to thrust with more power, the whole time looking into my eyes, never letting go of my hands. I feel the heat begin to build again inside of me and I move my hips against his drawing him deeper.

His brow begins to furrow and his body glistens with sweat. I can feel the tensing in his lower back and I know he is near the edge. This knowledge brings me closer to my own release. With a few more thrusts we fall over the edge together, still holding hands and looking into each others eyes.

When it’s over he leans down and kisses me gently once more before rolling over to pull me up against his chest. In the safe security of his arms I think about what has just happened. Never before has he shown me such tenderness while making love. In fact I would call what we did in the past sex, not making love, but today it definitely was not sex.

The question that I couldn’t keep from echoing over and over in my head was, “Does he love me?”