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You Can't Help Me	By : kittydemon Category: InuYasha > General Views: 1690 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

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You Can�t Help Me

Written by: Kittydemon/ AZ

Date: 14/12/03

Warnings: Blood, Self-mutilation, Violence, and Occasional
swearing.

Chapter Six: Confide in me

Disclaimer: I don�t own Inu Yasha, and the name of this
chapter is a song by Kylie Monogue.

A/N: Sorry for all the mistakes, I haven�t proof read this
at all, so there are bound to be lots of glitches and stuff. Please tell me if
you spot any! Thank you!

Anyways, I present you- chapter siiiiix�

*~*

She stood there, a dozen or so meters away from him,
touching her hand on a near by tree.

Inu Yasha felt his features fall with something little less
than dread, as his knees suddenly felt weaker than ever. Unable to help
himself, the hanyou crumbled to the forest floor, landing hard on his hands and
knees. Finding the situation humiliating, he angrily frowned, and focused his
glare at the being in front of him.

�Kikyo.�

�Why the long face, Inu Yasha?� The scrutiny in her eyes
displayed their indifference about his present state. She took several slow
steps towards him, letting the silence sink in around them, as a small smile
began to creep up on her face. She appeared to find amusement in her own rank
sarcasm, while her eyes darted to the hanyou�s bloody stomach and pale
complexion. �Though you �do� look beautiful like that,� her grin widened as she
saw the half demon�s scowl deepen at the indignant �cimeniment� �-when you�re
in pain- how does it feel? Being covered in your own blood, hmm?�

She stopped approaching him and her smile rapidly
diminished, once again leaving a stoic, bland look on her face. �I remember
that feeling, after all�how �could� I forget your �dirty� claws ripping through
my flesh?�

�What do you want, Kikyo?� A harsh, impatient note sounded
in his voice, as he tried his hardest to resist the urge to completely collapse
on the forest floor. Instead he pulled himself back and leant against a tree.

�Oh�I want a lot of things from you. Things that you owe
me-� pausing slightly Kikyo closed her eyes, �-your �life�� your �pain�� your
�death��, she let the sentence drift before easing her glare at him, �but
that�s not the reason I came here. If�if only I could put you out of your
evident misery, my poor, pitiable hanyou�-do you still love me?� Her features
contorted, as a radical sadness covered her complexion.

Inu Yasha's mouth opened slightly in shock, while pain
slowly crept into his gaze. As if finding it hard to speak, the half demon
darkly and almost mournfully choked out �Kikyo-� but before he had time to say
anything else, he was cut off short by the angry miko.

�Of course you don�t love me!� A small hysterical giggle
from her caused his ears to flatten against his head. �-You never did�� Her
eyes suddenly softened and a hurt look appeared on her face, �you once told me
you thought about me everyday- tell me�do you think about �her� every day too?�
The sentence echoed into silence.

�Her?� Thoroughly confused, Inu Yasha creased his eyebrows
at the sudden change of topic.

�Tsk. I suppose you do. You spend practically everyday with
her, after all.� She looked annoyed as she scanned his perplexed expression.
�You know who I mean. The girl. The one that purifies the shards for you.� The
she paused, and once more looked like she�d been wounded in the heart, �-Are
you infatuated with her?� She looked him straight in tyes,yes, first carefully
looking at one, and then quickly at the other. �Is this why you go through that
�well� after her whenever-�

What?

�How do you know about that?� Dread began to seep in. Inu
Yasha�s hand shook slightly- whether it was from his physical exhaustion or
mental strain was uncertain.

�She�ll leave you, you know. Soon�I can feel it. There�s
only so much one can take of a �hanyou�-�

It hurt. It especially hurt to hear that from someone he
used to love. Someone who he once bared his whole sole to- and now she was
scorning him. It was too easy to just ignore her insults and go on thinking
that everyone in the whole world was wrong�but there was no point in it, if he
was the only one to oppose that view. And it was more or less true. If anyone
didn�t say they hated him or found him disgusting, it was almost certain that
they were thinking it.

Feeling a strong urge to stop her demeaning ranting, the
hanyou rasped out what he was desperate to know.

�How did you know about the well?�

�I know because I saw,� Another rapid change overtook her,
and her gaze cooled down to a chilling glare. �And my knowing of this could
cause a great stir of events- wouldn�t you say- hanyou?� A sinister smile
spread across her face- before she quickly changed her demeanour into a more
amiable one. �Oh come with me Inu Yasha- just take my hand and all the pain and
sorrow and everything will disappear.� She unconsciously took some more steps
towards his form, as he warily watched her. �No one will ever have to know
about the well, or-�

�No.� Disbelief was written all over his features, �how can
you say that-?� After she said all those things to him. Insulted, and wounded
him where it hurt most. How could she even suggest that he would leave the life
that he had now, to go with her. He c-couldn�t just leave every one that
depended on him behind, and just disappear. Kagome would cry for ages. And,
�What about Naraku? A-and the jewel? I don�t plan on leaving until-�

��And of course, you have that girl.� The miko�s smile
vanished one more time.

�Leave her out of this.� He exclaimed in exasperation. Why
did she keep on coming back to Kagome all the time? He didn�t want to involve
her in thisis dis didn�t concern the stupid girl.

�If you were worried that you might be leaving her behind,
all love-sick and-�

�She�s not.� He knew she cared for him, but her feelings for
him were exactly the same as they were for Shippou. Perhaps she cared more for
the brat, after all she shared her bed with the kid, while being all flustered
and embarrassed just riding on his back.

�She will �leave�!� Fury emerged on Kikyo�s face as the very
air around them seemed to thin out. �Do not attempt to cover up your little
obsession with her by talking of Naraku- Inu Yasha- you fight for the shards
but you no longer know
�what� you�re going to do with the jewel once you have it!�
Despite the fact that it was early morning, the forest remained eerily quiet, and
unnaturally still. �Naraku- you say! There is no point in seeking vengeance
where the likelihood of your death is almost certain-�

�No you�re wrong-� His protest sounded weak in comparison
with her furious tirade. Inu Yasha felt a small urge to sink away from her when
he saw a faint dark aura begin to appear around her form. But pride kept him rooted
to his spot.

�You want to be noble?!� She proceeded as if he had never
spoken, �You want to die an honourable death in battle?! Well what point is
there when death is death is death! And mark my words- no one, �no one� will
�truly� grieve for one such as �you�! Not even her! No matter how you come
about your end- no one will remember that you even existed.� A small moment of
silence fell on them. Kikyo�s eyes never left Inu Yasha as the dog demon
absorbed all that was just said. The concentrated rage that possessed the
priestess seemed to slowly disappear by the degrees. Her features softened as
if regret or sorrow suddenly caught her and in a calmer, but urgent manner she
continued. �Inu Yasha- there is no point for you to carry on- you cannot change
the world.� Her feet carried her ever so closer to him, until she was standing
a mere meter in front of him. �Why suffer in this realm when we could escape to
the other, lighter, fairer land- that shines with opportunity and welcome.
Come-�
He had to see her. He had to.

Taking a deep, shaky breath he began to pull himself up.

*~*

�Inu Yasha!� Kagome cried out as a red clad form appeared in
her line of vision. He was leaning against the side of the well, his front
facing her. Unable to keep herself patient enough to walk the distance between
them, she broke into a run.

Getting sick with worry for the hanyou, Kagome couldn�t make
herself wait until noon to go look for him. Simply thinking of his injuries
made tears swell in her eyes. He was so stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. How
could he just go like that! He could have been killed! Stupid idiot! She began
to slow her pace as she closed in on him.

Her eyes were red and puffy from all the crying she�d done,
and her nose was red from the chilling autumn cold. Finally reaching him, her
face filled with a look of sorrow when her eyes fell upon his abdomen. Blood
covered his entire stomach, still moist and fresh. �Inu Yasha��

�Why are you here?!� Her eyes quickly darted to his face,
shocked at how angry he sounded.

�Excuse me?� Confused totally by what he might mean, she
looked at him as a child might look at an angry parent, almost guilty, yet not
knowing what she�s done wrong.

�Were you planning on going home?� Inu Yasha accused her,
sounding even more annoyed and impatient than ever.

�No�-� Now thoroughly confused, Kagome helplessly tried to
answer him as truthfully as she could.

�Liar! Then what are you doing here?!�

�I-I-� For some strange reason she couldn�t get the words
out of her mouth. She was here because he was. It was obvious to her, so
obvious that she didn�t understand why he was even asking.

�You were-weren�t you?!� His eyes glazed over with hurt, as
if all the trust he had in her had suddenly disappeared. �Typical! Run away as
soon as I�m not there-�

�Inu Yasha calm down!� Kagome quickly dropped down to her
knees in front of him, bringing herself down to his level of sight. Her shaky
hands were slightly outstretched in front of her, almost as if she wanted to
touch him, hoping it will bring his level of distress down a notch. �I only
came here because I thought I saw you here.�

�On you way here?� He still sounded mistrusting, as
something close to malice echoed in his tone.

�No! I was by the God Tree.� Kagome looked him straight in
the eyes for a couple of moments, before the hanyou looked away. After a moment
of silence, Inu Yasha looked back at her face.

�You can�t see the well from the God Tree-� He said stiffly,
his voice filled with dark suspicion.

�I don�t know! I felt you! You know, like you presence.�
Kagome sat back on her heels, her hands fisted in her lap. A longer silence,
more uncomfortable silence covered them, and Inu Yasha once again looked away
from her face.

Kagome twisted the material of her jumper between her
fingers. She needed to talk to him. Feeling that there was no neat way to start
this conversation, she decided to just leap into it.

�Inu Yasha�� Her own eyes darted down to her hands, as she
delved onto the dreaded topic. �I want to talk to you about your-� She took a
deep breath, �- about the cuts on your arms.�

�Well I don�t.� He sounded irritated and annoyed, clearly
displeased at her prying. He shifted in his place as if to get more
comfortable, but still glared hard at the ground. Once more, the quiet absorbed
them before hesitantly Kagome tried again.

�Do you plan to keep on doing this to yourself?� Her voice
remained quiet with a calm reserve, but this time her eyes moved to look at his
face.

�I said, I don�t want to talk about it.�

�How long has this been going on for?�

�Kagome!� He suddenly jerked his head in her direction and
sent a glare at her- �Which part of �I don�t want to talk about it.� Don�t you understand?!� His ears flattened against
his hair for the second time that day.

�Why not!� She knew it was a stupid question. They both did.
But she just didn�t know how else to react to his small outburst of pride and
stubbornness.

�I just don�t.� He quickly dismissed it, and once again
turned around to glare at the earth, quietly murmuring- �Especially not with
�you�.� But even though he thought she didn�t hear him, the uneasy quiet that
followed afterwards undoubtedly indicated that she did. Inu Yasha berated himself
silently for saying something so unnecessary.

Kagome tried to ignore the way a knot tightened in her chest
as she caught his last words. The gentle swaying of branches from nearby trees
and an occasional tweet, or hoot of a bird were the only things that filled the
hollow silence. Determined not to be deterred by his harsh claim, she
hesitantly put forward another suggestion.

�Y-you could always talk to Miroku-� She was cut short by an
annoyed groan.

�I just don�t want to talk about it full stop.� He grumbled,
getting tired of telling her to bring an end to the whole discourse. But not
another moment passed before his eyes widened with a new realisation and dread-
�Don�t tell me you already told everyone about this-� His darkened gaze quickly
darted towards her own.

�No- I haven�t told anyone-� Kagome noted the paranoia in
his tone. He always seemed like he was afraid to reveal anything to anyone
regarding his cutting. Another twinge pulled on her heart as more tears
threatened to fall.

�And don�t!� A desperate edge accompanied his voice.

�Only if you stop-� But before she could even complete her
sentence Inu Yasha gave her a look of disbelief and a one worded answer.

�No.� He sounded as if she suggested something too absurd to
even consider. Almost as if disgusted by her proposal, he looked away, angry at
the fact that he didn�t have his way at that instant. He crossed his hands and
leaned further back into the well.

�Inu Yasha! Please!� Unable to keep her tears in check for
any longer, a few escaped from her eyes. Seeing no difference in his
countenance except a discreet tweak of his nose, Kagome�s spirits fell even
further, as he ignored her. He wasn�t even looking at her.

�Please�� More tears slid along her cheeks, as one of her
hands uncertainly reached out to grasp the edge of his sleeve, tugging lightly
in a sad attempt to get his attention. Before long the hanyou let out a sigh,
and lowered his head and ears, almost as if in defeat.

�Don�t cry.� His lame attempt to stop her tears only caused
her to cry even harder. One of her hands still tugged on his sleeve as she
awkwardly tried to wipe away the salty beads of water with the sleeve of her sweater,
using her other hand. Alarm like no other filled him as he watched her begin to
hiccup between her sobs. �Kagome�Don�t worry about me- it-it�s fine- really.�
Kuso- what the hell was he supposed to do now?!

Helplessly he watched her as she slowly calmed down, and
wiped her eyes again and again trying to get rid of the small streams of liquid
on her cheeks. Several minutes passed in awkward silence (well, for Inu Yasha
at least) before Kagome finally stopped crying, even managing to shed a small
smile aimed at him.

�So�Why are �you� here- by the well, I mean?� Curiosity
finally caught up with her. It was almost cer tha that if she attempted to pry
any further about his �problem�, they would just end up in a fight, and he
would probably avoid her for another week or so.

�Eh-no reason�� Kagome watched him carefully, quickly
becoming aware that this was also something he didn�t want to talk about. �What
made you think I was going to leave?�

�Nothing.� Well that was a blatant lie.

�Riiiight.� Kagome made a quick mental note not to tell him
that she will have to go back to her time tomorrow. And, once again a silence
overtook them. Kagome, feeling slightly embarrassed took her hand away from his
sleeve, and placed her hand on her lap. Unfortunately, no matter how hard she
tried to avoid the topic Inu Yasha was so unwilling to talk about, she
couldn�t, and a question slipped out from her mouth before she could stop it.
�Y- you do it because you�re sad right?� She looked at his eyes that did all
they could to avoid looking at her. �What made you so sad?� It was a stupid
question, and she knew she wasn�t going to get an answer to it.

�Kagome-� Despite his deceivingly calm voice, there was an
evident threat underlying it.

�I �need� to know�-I-is it anything to do with�Kikyo?� She�s
been thinking about it, and the more she did, the more seemed right. Nearly
every single time Inu Yasha acted strange, it was because of Kikyo. One way or
another. Kagome looked into the half demon�s down cast eyes, as the later
answered her in a defeated voice.

�No�� He couldn�t look her in the eyes. Inu Yasha cursed
himself. He couldn�t look her in the eyes and tell her an outright lie. Nor
could he tell her the truth.

�Then what is it?!�

�It�s none of your business!� Swiftly, a damn that held back
his anger broke and he steeled his eyes against hers. �If I choose to cut
myself for whatever reason, I don�t see how it affects you!� Why didn�t she
stop asking!

�Of course it does! I-I-� Kagome stopped right there. What?
Love you? She couldn�t say that to him. That would just make a mess of
everything. It was complicated enough as it was already, and her love for him
is uncalled for, and would certainly have no place around here.

Inu Yasha uncrossed his arms and got to his knees, although
with a bit of difficulty due to the pain in his stomach. Trying his hardest to
remain calm, the hanyou looked her straight in the eyes. �Look Kagome- it
doesn�t really matter�but- just don�t tell anyone ok?�

Kagome felt her cheeks flame up as she stared back into his
intense honey eyes. He was looking at her. Straight at her, and only her. A
small jolt went through her as she felt his cold, clawed fingers grasp hers,
his gaze never leaving her eyes. She darted a small look at their hands before
looking back into his amber depths.

�Please�don�t say a word about this.� His voice was nearly a
whisper as he leant slightly towards her, begging with his eyes for her to
agree. For a long time Kagome just stared back at him, and with each second her
cheeks would get redder and redder, before she finally caved under his
pressure, and sank back slightly in defeat.

�Fine�� She croaked, her eyes looking anywhere but at him,
her cheeks still flaming with embarrassment. She didn�t see that one coming.
But before she could so much as say another word, Inu Yasha enveloped her in a
hug, pressing her tightly into him.

�Thank you.� His unexpected gratitude rendered Kagome
speechless, but she hugged him back anyway, burying her face in his neck. She
closed her eyes, revelling in his smell and feel, and gently mimed the words
she wouldn�t dare to tell to his face. �I love you.�

*~*

Well here it was, the FLUFF!! Hope you all liked it! :)

kittydemon
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You Can't Help Me

You Can�t Help Me