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The Bane of My Existance	By : ShaeyaSedjet Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > InuYasha/Kagome Views: 3560 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
A Note From Sedjet:
YES!!!!!!!!!!! I realize that I am a horrible, terrible, no good
person! You don't have to tell me. The last year has just
been...stagnant for me. My muse had left me until recently, but he
is back and I am ready to write.

Disclaimer: I don't own
Inuyasha! Geez!

The Bane of My Existance

Chapter Six:

His Pain

Our relationship wasn't without its
faults. We were, by far, not a perfect couple. We were actually
fairly volatile. We knew how to push each other's buttons and did so
quite often. It didn't help that I was completely insecure about the
whole dating thing. Yes, this felt different, but it was still an
entirely new world for me. On top of that, Inuyasha would be a
sophomore in college. I kept wondering why the hell he would prefer
someone like me to one of the college girls that had to be drooling
over him. While we were working in the shop one Saturday morning, I
decided to ask him.

“So...what happens when the fall
semester starts?”

Inuyasha paused with his can of primer
poised just above the surface of the Carmen. “What do you
mean?”

I cleared my throat nervously. “I
don't really know how this summer romance thing works. Do we
continue to see each other, or do we go on like nothing's happened?
I was just wondering--” I didn't get to finish.

“Goddammit, Kagome!” he
exploded. “Why can't you just trust anything?! Why do you
have to fuckin' second guess everything?!”

That pushed the wrong button for me.
“If you would pull your head out of your ass, you might
remember why!” I shot back, throwing my shop towel down
ferociously and storming out of the shop.

I heard him mutter a “Fuck!”
and come storming after me.

“Kagome, goddammit! You can't
just walk out on me every time I say something you don't like.”

I whirled on him, offering a saccharin
smile. “It's better than throwing a carburetor at you.”

“What the fuck is your problem?”
he demanded.

“My problem,”
I bellowed, “Is that I have an
insensitive-jerk-bastard-ass-monkey-fuck-I-don't-even-know-what-to-call-you!
My problem is that at
the age of fifteen I was raped by my boyfriend in every way possible.
I was beaten for looking at him the wrong way. I was sodomized
because he thought it was funny to watch me squirm. He'd face fuck
me, then insult my looks and my 'skills'. So please tell me how to
act, Inuyasha, because I'd really like to know.” I was panting
when I was finished.

He reached for me,
“Kagome--”

I smacked his hand
away, “Just go home, Inuyasha. I'm tired.”

“Kagome--”

“No,
Inuyasha! I don't want to talk to you right now.”

“Fine. To
hell with you!” he spat and stalked toward his red Corvette.

That's not what he
was supposed to say. He was supposed to hold me and whisper sweet
nothings in my ear. He was supposed to tell me that everything would
be alright—that we would get through it together. I could feel
my heart breaking. People always say that and you think, “Yeah,
whatever”, but it is a real feeling. You really do feel a pain
in your heart when someone you love betrays you.

I watched him go
and didn't let the tears fall until he was out of sight. I wouldn't
give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

I didn't see him
for the next few days. I was certain he was finished with me and by
that time, I sure as hell was finished with him. When he did show
up, it wasn't with flowers and candy.

I was putting on
the last coat of cherry red paint when I looked up to see him leaning
against the door jamb.

“What the
fuck do you want?”

He crossed his arms
now. “So this is the way it's going to be?”

“I didn't see
you complaining when you told me to go to hell.”

“Grow up,
Kagome.”

“Fuck you,
Inuyasha! What are you even doing here? Miroku went to the beach
with Kouga and Bankotsu.”

“You know I
came to see you.”

“Well, you've
seen me. Now, you can turn around and go back the way you came.”

“Don't be
like that.”

“Fuck you!
You don't get to tell me how to be. Not after I aired my dirty
laundry to you only to have it thrown back in my face. You've got
some fucking nerve coming back here with that piss poor attitude.”

“I didn't
mean it, Kagome.” He said desperately.

“I don't give
a fuck, Inuyasha. I'm done with this farce of a relationship. I
need it like I need another hole in my body.”

He was faster than
I expected. He was on me in an instant, forcing me back against the
wall. “Don't give up on this.”

“Give me one
reason why I shouldn't fuck you up beyond recognition.”

“Because I
need you,” was his simple reply as he rested his forehead
against mine. It was then that I knew something was wrong.

“What's
wrong?” I was terrified. I'd never seen him look so
vulnerable.

He dropped his head
to the crook of my neck and shoulder. “Mom has breast cancer.”
His expulsion of breath was warm and moist against my neck. My arms
went around him, smoothing over his shoulders and down his back.
“It's metastasized to her lungs. There's no chance of
survival.”

“I'm so
sorry, Inuyasha.”

He laughed and that
laughed turned into a sob. Izayoi was the gentlest and kindest woman
I had ever known. She was the best mom a kid could want. She didn't
deserve this.

“Is there
anything I can do?” I asked, not knowing what else to say.

“Just hold
me,” he murmured.

“Well, duh!”
That earned me a soggy chuckled and I knew things would be ok.
Somehow, things would work out for the best.

The next few weeks
were painful. We spent many late nights in the hospital at his
mother's bedside. I made brownies and cookies for everyone and for
Inuyasha, I made ramen noodles from scratch. I did everything I
could to make the transition easier for him. I knew what losing a
family member was like, how hard it could be. In some ways, it was
more difficult for him. He was given fair warning. There was time
for it to eat away at him. I used to think that I would have liked
to say goodbye, but knowing that they are going somehow makes the
pain worse. It's easier when they're just gone. You don't have to
grit your teeth and bear it while you watch your loved one waste
away. You don't have to sit around feeling helpless while the person
you love is dying before your eyes.

In those weeks, our
relationship evolved again. We became a support system for each
other. He only cried for me. He would cling to me and sob his heart
out, raging against the injustice of losing his mother. He began to
spend more and more time at our house, leaving in the wee hours of
the morning. Soon, he was spending the night, my arms cradling him
to my chest as he slept. I cherish those moments when he would show
me his vulnerabilities. He would bare his soul to me, entrusting it
to my care. I tried to be very careful with it, hoping that I could
live up to whatever expectations he had.

I was brushing his
thick, glossy hair one morning when his father called. It was time.
His mother was slipping away quickly. He looked at me, his eyes
begging the question that his mouth could not ask. My heart heard it
anyway. “Would you be by my side while I watch my mother die?”
I nodded, because what can you do when someone looks at you like
that?

He reached out and
pulled me against him, burying his head in the crook of my shoulder
and taking a deep breath. He pressed a kiss against the juncture of
my shoulder and neck and straightened, taking a deep, steadying
breath. He held his hand out to me and together, we descended the
stairs from my bedroom to the door that took us outside.

I climbed into his
corvette, wondering how I was going to hold him together when I was
so close to breaking myself. I too, had been close to Izayoi. She
had always been a role model for me to look up to. She had been a
photographer. Her favorite medium was black and white. She would
rent old, classic cars and have girls pose like pinup models from the
1940's, draped across the cars in seductive poses. She was the one
who had inspired me to strive to build the Carmen. I told her that
she could use the Carmen when it was finished. She had been looking
forward to it. And so had I. I was going to be her model for that
particular set of photos. But now, that would never happen. I was
losing my second mother, a sister of my soul. My heart cried out at
the injustice of it. Why did the gods take their brightest stars
before their time?

But I couldn't
voice any of this to Inuyasha. It would be selfish. After all, he
was losing his mother. All I could do was be there for him to offer
the comfort and support that he so desperately needed.

As we buckled our
seat belts, I reached across the gear shift and clasped his hand in
mine. I told him without words that it would be ok. We were going
to make it through this together. I would be here for him as long as
needed me.

He gave my hand a
firm squeeze and nodded his head. Then, he through the corvette into
gear and made the dreaded final trip to the hospital.

TBC...
- 5
- 6
- 7
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The Bane of My Existance