Sex Ed
folder
InuYasha › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
7
Views:
2,005
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
InuYasha › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
7
Views:
2,005
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.
The Bare Physicalities
Harmony: Whoo-hoo!! I got my buddy back!! *squeezes Rika*
Rika: *cringes* Ok, that’s good.
Harmony: But, still, Shadow is an incoherent bastard a-hole!!
Rika: But at least there’s David now!!
Harmony: *cheers up* Yea! There’s David now, though! And he’s MUCH better!! By the way, David is also known as "Koga" in my realistic fics.
Rika: Ok, let’s get to it. We do not own any of the Inuyasha characters.
Harmony: We’re good now!! Start the damn chapter!!
___________________________________________________________________________________
Chapter 6: The Bare Physicalities
Rika: Ha! *points to the title* I love word play.
Harmony: *claps hands together* All right! The second lab – Mommy Mania – is officially OVER!!
Rika: *head down on the desk, exhausted* Thank God.
Harmony: And the results!! *pulls paper out of ass* Inuyasha and Kagome!!
(They look up)
Harmony: You two were, by far, the most qualified. A little… *eyes Inuyasha, who looks guilty* BRUTAL, what with the beating the doll over the head with the hilt of your sword, but nothing worse than Shakin’ Baby Syndrome. Next up… Kikyo and Sesshy-pie!!
(Pretty much, they ignore her)
Harmony: You two didn’t do ANYTHING!! The poor baby died of starvation, lack of love, lack of MOVEMENT, and lack of a CLEAN DIAPER!!
Sessh: Not my fault the thing shit all over the place every five seconds. Got that from its mother. *points to Kikyo*
Kikyo: *glaring* Bastard. Rot in Hell!!
Rika: Now, now, people. Calm it down. The lab is done… we get a short break.
Harmony: SHORT being the definitive word here… Sango and Miroku!!
(Sango makes a face, Miroku pokes his hand up out the Miroku-shaped hole in the ground)
Miroku: Present.
Harmony: You two had the best-kept baby. A+.
(Everyone else groans)
Inuyasha: Teacher’s pet.
Sango: SHUT UP!! *beats him with boomerang*
Harmony: SETTLE DOWN!! NOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!
(They all sit back down, thoroughly scared)
Harmony: Geez… Okay, next is Rin and Koga/Kagura and Shippo. Neither of you did any of it, but at least Rin and Koga’s doll was very loved.
Rin: *smiles brightly, squeezing doll around neck* RIN WUVS HER DOLLY!!
Audience: AWWWWWW!!
Rika: So… basically you all failed. Other than Kagome and Inuyasha/Sango and Miroku. Therefore, you get to sit out of the next lab!!
(Silence)
Inuyasha: WHAT??
Kagome: Hey, that’s backwards from what it’s supposed to be!!
Harmony: So?
Sessh: Yea, SO?? This whole CLASS has always been backwards!! Why stop NOW??
Rika: *pointing at Sessh* Hey. You’re pushin’ yer luck.
Harmony: *cheerfully* So!! *snaps on white, latex gloves* Let’s get to it!! Boys, you first, so Miroku and Inuyasha!! You two need to get naked!!
Inuyasha: WHAT??
Miroku: YAY!!
Harmony: Okay, okay, I’ll do it the fun way… *clears throat, then says in deep voice* Son, drop yo’ drawers and grab yo’ toes. I’m gonna butter yo’ biscuit.
Inuyasha: HELP!!
Miroku: OOH… KINKY!!
____________________________________10 min. later___________________________________
(Everyone can hear screaming from the next room, where Harmony is inspecting the boys)
Kagome: That’s disturbing.
Rika: Ain’t it though? Ok, girls, get ready.
Sango: *squeezes eyes shut* Oh no…
Rika: *claps hands* Oh, Fritz!!
(Door opens. In walks a tall, muscular, WELL-OILED man wearing only a pair of shorts, flip-flops, a white doctor’s coat, and a stethoscope around his neck)
Rika: Ladies, meet Dr. Fritz Steinberg. He will be conducting your physicals today.
(Sango and Kagome speechlessly stare at Dr. Fritz’s beautiful, male, SO CLOSE TO NAKED!! body)
Kagome: Ok.
Rika: *shuts door behind her* Ok, I feel better.
Kikyo: How come you’re not conducting THEIR physical, while Harmony’s doing it on the guys?
Rika: Oh, simple – Harmony’s got an M.D. (medical doctorate), and I don’t. So we asked our really good friend, Dr. Fritz to help us out.
Kikyo: *shrugs* Good enough for me.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Harmony: So it turns out that the guys are very healthy.
Rika: As are the girls.
Harmony: So, that means that they are perfect for the FINAL EXAM LAB!!
Rika: a.k.a. The Demonstration!!
Harmony: R&R!!
Rika: *cringes* Ok, that’s good.
Harmony: But, still, Shadow is an incoherent bastard a-hole!!
Rika: But at least there’s David now!!
Harmony: *cheers up* Yea! There’s David now, though! And he’s MUCH better!! By the way, David is also known as "Koga" in my realistic fics.
Rika: Ok, let’s get to it. We do not own any of the Inuyasha characters.
Harmony: We’re good now!! Start the damn chapter!!
___________________________________________________________________________________
Chapter 6: The Bare Physicalities
Rika: Ha! *points to the title* I love word play.
Harmony: *claps hands together* All right! The second lab – Mommy Mania – is officially OVER!!
Rika: *head down on the desk, exhausted* Thank God.
Harmony: And the results!! *pulls paper out of ass* Inuyasha and Kagome!!
(They look up)
Harmony: You two were, by far, the most qualified. A little… *eyes Inuyasha, who looks guilty* BRUTAL, what with the beating the doll over the head with the hilt of your sword, but nothing worse than Shakin’ Baby Syndrome. Next up… Kikyo and Sesshy-pie!!
(Pretty much, they ignore her)
Harmony: You two didn’t do ANYTHING!! The poor baby died of starvation, lack of love, lack of MOVEMENT, and lack of a CLEAN DIAPER!!
Sessh: Not my fault the thing shit all over the place every five seconds. Got that from its mother. *points to Kikyo*
Kikyo: *glaring* Bastard. Rot in Hell!!
Rika: Now, now, people. Calm it down. The lab is done… we get a short break.
Harmony: SHORT being the definitive word here… Sango and Miroku!!
(Sango makes a face, Miroku pokes his hand up out the Miroku-shaped hole in the ground)
Miroku: Present.
Harmony: You two had the best-kept baby. A+.
(Everyone else groans)
Inuyasha: Teacher’s pet.
Sango: SHUT UP!! *beats him with boomerang*
Harmony: SETTLE DOWN!! NOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!
(They all sit back down, thoroughly scared)
Harmony: Geez… Okay, next is Rin and Koga/Kagura and Shippo. Neither of you did any of it, but at least Rin and Koga’s doll was very loved.
Rin: *smiles brightly, squeezing doll around neck* RIN WUVS HER DOLLY!!
Audience: AWWWWWW!!
Rika: So… basically you all failed. Other than Kagome and Inuyasha/Sango and Miroku. Therefore, you get to sit out of the next lab!!
(Silence)
Inuyasha: WHAT??
Kagome: Hey, that’s backwards from what it’s supposed to be!!
Harmony: So?
Sessh: Yea, SO?? This whole CLASS has always been backwards!! Why stop NOW??
Rika: *pointing at Sessh* Hey. You’re pushin’ yer luck.
Harmony: *cheerfully* So!! *snaps on white, latex gloves* Let’s get to it!! Boys, you first, so Miroku and Inuyasha!! You two need to get naked!!
Inuyasha: WHAT??
Miroku: YAY!!
Harmony: Okay, okay, I’ll do it the fun way… *clears throat, then says in deep voice* Son, drop yo’ drawers and grab yo’ toes. I’m gonna butter yo’ biscuit.
Inuyasha: HELP!!
Miroku: OOH… KINKY!!
____________________________________10 min. later___________________________________
(Everyone can hear screaming from the next room, where Harmony is inspecting the boys)
Kagome: That’s disturbing.
Rika: Ain’t it though? Ok, girls, get ready.
Sango: *squeezes eyes shut* Oh no…
Rika: *claps hands* Oh, Fritz!!
(Door opens. In walks a tall, muscular, WELL-OILED man wearing only a pair of shorts, flip-flops, a white doctor’s coat, and a stethoscope around his neck)
Rika: Ladies, meet Dr. Fritz Steinberg. He will be conducting your physicals today.
(Sango and Kagome speechlessly stare at Dr. Fritz’s beautiful, male, SO CLOSE TO NAKED!! body)
Kagome: Ok.
Rika: *shuts door behind her* Ok, I feel better.
Kikyo: How come you’re not conducting THEIR physical, while Harmony’s doing it on the guys?
Rika: Oh, simple – Harmony’s got an M.D. (medical doctorate), and I don’t. So we asked our really good friend, Dr. Fritz to help us out.
Kikyo: *shrugs* Good enough for me.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Harmony: So it turns out that the guys are very healthy.
Rika: As are the girls.
Harmony: So, that means that they are perfect for the FINAL EXAM LAB!!
Rika: a.k.a. The Demonstration!!
Harmony: R&R!!