Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

The Accident	By : SplendentGoddess Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > InuYasha/Kagome Views: 9181 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Inuyasha, and the characters therein, are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. I am in no way affiliated with Takahashi or VIZ Productions, and I do not gain financially from my fanfic in any way.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Chapter 6 - Mutual Vulnerability
Kagome's family had indeed taken the news of Inuyasha's monthly transformations fairly well, all things considered. As predicted, her grandfather had mumbled some comment or another about him finally looking 'normal' for once, Souta had almost seemed devastated until he'd learned that Inuyasha would be back to what he considered 'normal' at sunrise, and Kagome's mother had commented only how going through such a thing must be uncomfortable for him, and that at least for that one night, he didn't have to worry about the dangers of the Sengoku jidai. In fact, the elder Higurashi woman had even gone as far as to extend an open invitation for him to always return to their time during the nights of the new moon, so that he would always have a safe place he could stay if ever he needed one.

Humbly thanking the woman, and even promising to take her up on her offer so long as returning to the well didn't put his group out of their way, depending on where across the countryside they happened to be as the new moons grew near, Inuyasha then proceeded to eat most of his dinner in silence, content to listen as the rest of the family chit-chatted with Kagome about their day.
Once dinner was complete and he assisted the miko with heading back upstairs for the night, Inuyasha immediately lost whatever small sense of tranquility he'd felt in the face of Mrs. Higurashi's kind words. Fortunately, Kagome didn't want to go to bed right away, having decided to get some more studying done while her dinner finished digesting, so he took advantage of the next hour or so trying to psyche himself up to tell the girl why sharing her bed that night wouldn't be a good idea.
"Kagome..." he eventually murmured, breaking the tranquil silence.
"What is it, Inuyasha?" Kagome asked as she glanced up from her studying and over to where Inuyasha was sitting on her floor, a frown marring her brow as she took note of his nervous expression.
"I don't, uh..." Damn it, how do I say this? 'I don't want to sleep in your bed tonight.'? But I don't want to hurt her feelings, either.
"You don't...what?" she asked in confusion, closing her math book and giving him her complete attention.
"I'm not...used to sleeping during the new moon." he settled on in that moment, having decided that it would be too hard to excuse why he suddenly wanted to sleep on the floor instead of on the bed with her, figuring the best solution all the way around would be for him to just stay awake until dawn like he always did during his human nights.
Kagome's eyes softened at his words, realizing how hard it must be for the guy to let himself relax, especially considering he had learned the hard way to never allow himself to fall asleep while temporarily so vulnerable.
"Inuyasha, my time is safe." Kagome assured him in a gentle tone. "I mean, sure...there are still dangers out there in the world, that'll never change..." she amended, gesturing briefly to her leg, "But my room is safe, our shrine is safe, you can sleep peacefully on this night. You don't-"
Her speech was broken when an aptly timed yawn escaped her lips without permission.
"-have to worry." she finished then, before setting her math book on the nightstand and shimmying herself closer to the wall to make room for him. Then with a touch of humor aimed towards herself, she added, "In fact, why don't you go ahead and come to bed now? I'm obviously getting sleepy, and for at least one night in your life, you deserve a good night's sleep, too."
He had to admit the girl did make it sound awfully tempting. Not requiring as much sleep while in his hanyou form, Inuyasha had actually lied awake during most of the nights shared in Kagome's bed, having simply allowed the girl to sleep against him, as she so clearly desired. A few times, their first night together included, he had permitted himself to nod off for a little while, but he always acquired whatever brief amounts of sleep he got while in his hanyou form, relying on his heightened senses to immediately awaken him should danger strike. He never slept during his human night, poisonings not included, and while he knew that her time was safe, in that regard, and there was definite appeal to the thought of experiencing peaceful slumber as a human at least once in his lifetime, Inuyasha still worried about sharing Kagome's bed for the night. Ideally, he would honestly prefer taking advantage of the blankets and pillow Mrs. Higurashi had originally provided for him to setup his own bedding down on the floor, but he knew Kagome would never understand if he did.
Unless he explained it to her, of course, although the only thing that terrified him more than what might happen should his emotions get the better of him was telling her he was afraid of what might happen should his emotions get the better of him. He was damned if he did and damned if he didn't, and in that moment, Inuyasha decided to suck it up and just stop thinking about it so much. Knowing his luck, his worrying about it would only create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
New decision made, since the miko clearly had no intention of letting him stay awake all night, Inuyasha replied to Kagome's heartfelt reassurances with a smile and a nod before rising to his feet, giving his body a good stretch as he popped out the kinks in his back.
Grinning in turn, Kagome patted the spot beside her invitingly, and though he felt a little flustered at the idea of climbing into bed with her in his human form, Inuyasha was secretly proud of the fact that he managed to do so without blushing.
Reaching over and clicking off Kagome's bedside lamp once he was in place, the hanyou-turned-human remained silent as the girl beside him went through her two-minute ritual of shifting and getting comfortable. Unsurprisingly, the miko took up her normal position of resting her head against his shoulder while her left hand found its home upon his chest. Inuyasha then completed the nightly routine by reaching up with his right hand to gently grasp her left, pinning it to his chest as he gave it a gentle squeeze, a softly spoken "Good night..." escaping his lips at barely above a whisper.
"Night..." she murmured back sleepily. It wouldn't be long before unconsciousness claimed her, he realized.
Discretely rolling his head to the side enough to take in the scent of her hair, Inuyasha couldn't help but find it curious how, even though his sense of smell had deplenished almost to the point of nonexistence, he found he was actually more allured by her scent in his human state.
Don't say anything stupid, don't do anything stupid... he immediately ordered himself, willing his body to take advantage of the genuine once-in-a-lifetime chance for a deep, restful sleep in his human form. Well, he supposed it wasn't truly as if such a chance would never come again; all he had to do was return to Kagome's world during the next new moon. But whether or not such an opportunity would actually present itself couldn't possibly be predicted in advance like that, so it was best to act as if such a chance would never come again.
Gradually, as the lulling effects of slumber grabbed a hold of his mind, Inuyasha found his thoughts wandering in random directions, mostly in regard to how weird it felt being human. He couldn't believe, now, that at one point in time he had actually been willing to become human permanently. People were willing to do all sorts of strange things for love, he supposed, although if Kikyou had truly loved him, then she never would've wanted him to change in the first place. Then again, he understood why it couldn't have possibly worked between them with him as a hanyou, so him turning human really had been the only way. Maybe she really had loved him, to the best of her ability, but it still wasn't lost on the hanyou just how significant it was for Kagome to constantly insist that she liked him as a hanyou, and how she didn't want him to change...at least not outside of what his body naturally did, anyway.
His thoughts were suddenly broken when Buyo meowed from somewhere downstairs, and Inuyasha found himself unconsciously trying to move his ears in the direction of the sound, before his drowsy mind remembered how those particular muscles didn't exist at the moment. Instead, his useless ears were made up of useless cartilage, although he would admit, at least to himself, that not every single thing about his human body was useless. He was thoroughly enjoying his human heart in that moment, as it allowed him to truly feel the love he always felt for the woman laying against him, but without any of his stupid hanyou insecurities getting in the way. Yes, it was true he was a freak, and at times he was even a monster, but for that one night he was a normal man, sharing a bed with the woman he loved. It was his first human night after Kikyou's passing, and Inuyasha felt no guilt for his thoughts as his mind began comparing the two miko in Kagome's favor.
Kikyou had been taller, but he liked how Kagome's petite body tucked snuggly against his own, her head at the perfect height to rest upon his shoulder.
Kikyou had been a better shot with the bow, but Kagome was learning fast, so it wouldn't be long at all before the girl was her preincarnation's equal when it came to the miko weapon of choice. Kagome's raw powers were actually much stronger than Kikyou's had ever been, as the girl had already demonstrated the ability to purify without an arrow, the simple touch of her hand having been enough to cause Mistress Centipede injury twice, and that was before Kagome had even known she was a miko.
Kagome accepted him as a hanyou. Kagome loved him as a hanyou. Kagome didn't think there was anything wrong with being a hanyou, or a full-blooded youkai. She treated Shippou no differently than if they had found an orphaned human boy, and she even understood that Kirara, who most people considered nothing more than a simple pet, was in truth as intelligent as the rest of them.
He seriously doubted Kikyou would've ever cried for his sake, and while the deceased miko would have done her best to protect him had he ever needed protecting while in her company, Kikyou would have probably felt burdened and obligated to do so, rather than showing any of the genuine concern Kagome had shown him during the numerous times he'd been injured since their journey began.
He was absolutely certain that Kikyou would have never allowed him to rest his head in her lap while lying poisoned in his human form.
That thought was the last semi-conscious comparison made by the hanyou-turned-human's mind before thoughts and memories began manifesting themselves in a somewhat less organized fashion. Inuyasha was still aware of the fact that he was lying horizontally on his back; he could still feel the direction of gravity's pull. He wasn't lying completely flat, though...something was underneath his head, tilting his neck forward at the slightest of angles. There was no breeze, so he was clearly indoors. But he felt so warm, and there was no fire. Something was making him hot...he had a fever.
That's right...I...I was poisoned...I must have forgotten... he realized vaguely, opening his eyes to spy the shabby, wooden roof of the room they had taken refuge in.
So long as Tetsusaiga was lodged into the door as it was, then the Spiderheads would not be able to break in. He hoped the seal would last until morning. He hoped he would last until morning. It hadn't been too much to ask, had it? To rest his head on Kagome's lap? Sure...the girl was annoying at times, but she wasn't all bad. He honestly had no idea why he hadn't told her in advance of his human night. It wasn't that he didn't trust her, per se, but he just never trusted anyone. Still...he should have realized it was inevitable that the girl would have found out one way or another. They were traveling together, after all. If he had just been honest and upfront from the beginning, then none of this would have happened.
I always knew my human night would be my undoing...
Was he really going to die like this? Some weak, pathetic human? At least...at least he had a pretty girl with him during his final moments. One of the gods must have decided to take pity on him. A pretty girl who was actually willing to cry for his sake.
"You smell nice."
"Inuyasha..."
The sound of his name suddenly jolted him awake, and it took the hanyou a moment to realize that he had been dreaming.
So that's what it's like to fall asleep peacefully... he mused, kind of glad that she'd woken him up because now he would get to do it again.
"Yeah, Kagome?" he asked sleepily, "What is it?"
"Huh?" she asked him then, thoroughly confused. "But you're the one who just..."
Trailing off, the miko's eyes widened in sudden realization. He was talking in his sleep! And he doesn't even realize what he said!
Now she regretted accidentally waking him. She had been on the verge of falling asleep, herself, but the sound of his voice had pulled her consciousness back to the surface. It had been so sudden, so random, and so romantic to her ears. It hadn't been until after going to bed, but it had finally dawned on Kagome why Inuyasha had probably seemed so nervous about the whole thing, and she seriously doubted that it had anything to do with the fact that he had never previous allowed himself to sleep during his human nights. After she'd settled herself against him, she'd suddenly found herself remembering how he was usually so much more open, so much more emotional in his human form.
Looking back on it, she realized the changes in him had actually been obvious all throughout dinner, from how he'd eaten his food more slowly and politely, to how he'd been so clearly touched by her mother's words of welcome. It only made sense, then, that Inuyasha would've felt a more emotional reaction to the notion of sharing her bed with her during his human night; Kagome found herself blushing at the thought of what could have possibly been going through his mind. So when he had gently murmured, clear as day, that she smelled nice, Kagome had immediately taken it as an impromptu complement brought on by his human side, voicing his name in a sigh of surprised gratitude.
Now...the miko found herself frantically scrambling for how to salvage the situation and act as though nothing had happened. Unfortunately, the fact that she'd just trailed off in the middle of her sentence before remaining silent for the last several seconds probably wasn't going to help make things any easier for the girl.
True enough, while Kagome was busy having her own private panic attack, Inuyasha wasn't that far behind with a rising panic all his own.
I'm the one who just...what? What did I do? he questioned himself frantically, desperately trying to piece back together his fragments of memory from prior to Kagome's voice pulling him from his dream.
I had been dreaming about the night I almost died of Spiderhead poison... he remembered after a moment.
He surely would have died had it not been for Myouga sucking out as much of the poison as he could; he really ought to be a bit nicer to the flea-youkai. But he hadn't been dreaming about his father's old retainer. No...he'd been remembering how nice it had been to be so close to Kagome, especially when he'd thought that she would be the last thing he ever saw...or smelled.
Oh holy crap... Inuyasha realized suddenly, Did...did I say she smelled nice out loud?!?!?
Yes, yes he did.
I guess she's not the only one who talks in their sleep...

Of course, he knew better than to say something like that, which would surely only make the awkwardness of their current situation even worse.
Time to be a man.
"I'm...uh...I'm sorry." he began lamely.
Snapping out of her own thoughts, Kagome pulled herself back enough to tilt her head up to glance at his face, though it was hard for her to see anything in such low lighting.
"Sorry...?" she questioned hesitantly.
"For, um...for waking you. Not for what I said."
Blinking, Kagome pulled herself back away from him a little more, propping herself up on her elbow a bit to get a better look at him. If he had had his normal hanyou night-vision, then he would've been able to tell how her eyes were sparkling with tenderness and understanding.
"So I wasn't hearing things, after all." she stated after a moment, a slightly playful hint to her voice suggesting that she had in no way actually begun to question whether or not his words had truly been her own imagination.
"No..." he confessed with a bit of a blush rising to his cheeks that he was thankful she couldn't see, even if she probably knew him well enough to know that he was embarrassed as hell with or without enough light to see his face. "I was dreaming...about the night of the Spiderheads..." he explained, admitting sheepishly, "I...I think I know what you heard, but...I was talking in my sleep."
Instead of laughing, which part of him had honestly feared would be her reaction for some obscure reason, Kagome smiled at him before settling herself back down against his shoulder. Inuyasha was just beginning to wonder if she was going to say any more on the subject or let it go, when he heard her quiet murmur of, "I've dreamt of that night, too."
"You have?" he asked her, surprised by her admittance.
"Sure..." she confirmed. "It was the first time you...uh..." Oh, real smooth, Kagome... she scolded herself. Open mouth, insert foot.
"The first time I what?"
"Um...nothing." she attempted lamely.
"Oh now don't start that again." he teased good-naturedly. "Tell me, please?"
He really is more emotional in his human form.
Sucking up her pride, she pinched her eyes shut tighter as if to brace against whatever his reaction might be, as she continued to lie against him while she mumbled, "It was the first time you showed me your gentler side."
Instead of stiffening against her as she had feared would be his initial reaction to her words, Inuyasha remained calm as he translated, "You mean...it was the first time you saw me human." It wasn't phrased like a question.

Kagome didn't want to risk any misunderstandings between them, so she immediately assured him, "I don't prefer your human side over your hanyou side. They are both you, equally, and I like you, for who you are. Who you are is a hanyou that, for one night a month, turns human. But yes..." she confessed, "...you are definitely more gentle in your human form."
"Feh..." he grumbled quietly. "I'm weak in my human form...stupid emotions..."
Reaching back out for her left hand with his right in that moment, Inuyasha gave her hand a little squeeze before he added, "But I meant what I said...you do smell nice." he confessed, offering her a crooked smile as she tilted her head back to meet his eyes with her own.
Grinning in turn, her smile turned into an uncertain frown after a moment as she asked him, "But...will you still think so tomorrow?"
He sighed then, leaning his neck to rest his cheek against her crown. Kagome closed her eyes and relished in the sensation of him taking a few deep whiffs of her hair.
"I know I acted like a jerk to you the next morning, but I was embarrassed." he confessed after a moment. "Just 'cause it's easier for me to say what I feel during my human night doesn't mean that my feelings actually change when I turn hanyou again."
"So you're not gonna clam up on me in the morning?" she asked timidly.
"I..." he started, unsure of what to say. "I'll try." he stated honestly after a moment. "When I'm hanyou," he explained, "I really do have a different, stronger side that I don't possess as a human. I'm half youkai, and most youkai don't experience emotions the same way humans do." he confessed. "But..." he added after a moment, "Being half human, my youkai side just makes it easier for me to ignore my human feelings. They're still there..." he assured her. "How I truly feel about...stuff...doesn't change when I turn hanyou."
"Stuff...?" she asked after a moment, slightly amused.
"Yeah, stuff."
"Am I 'stuff'?" she asked him then.
Chuckling a bit, he admitted, "Yeah, you're 'stuff'."
"And how you feel about 'stuff' when you're human doesn't change when you turn hanyou again, even if you try to pretend it does."
"Exactly."
"Okay then." she stated with a smile, snuggling herself a little closer against him.
Chuckling a bit for the second time, Inuyasha confessed as he pulled his left arm free from between them to wrap around her shoulders, "I'm glad I talked in my sleep."
"Me too..." she murmured against him, her words muffled slightly by the fabric of his suikan.
Inuyasha had thought for sure that that would be the end of their conversation for the night. He was relieved by her easy acceptance of what had happened, and of his admittance regarding his human emotions, but perhaps he shouldn't have allowed himself to relax quite so much.
He honestly wasn't thinking when she suddenly murmured drowsily, "I used to talk in my sleep, too." and so his reply of, "You still do." left his lips before he had a chance to stop himself.
"What?" Kagome questioned, immediately pulling back again, his left hand falling away from her as she once again propped herself up on her elbow.
"I...uh...shit..." he muttered under his breath, though she had no trouble hearing him with such close proximity.
Fortunately, it was thanks to that same proximity that allowed his weakened human ears to pick up the distinctive sound of quiet giggles, and turning to glance in her direction in that moment, Inuyasha found himself feeling tremendous relief to catch sight of what he was sure was a smile on her otherwise shadowed face.
"We're quite the pair, aren't we?" she asked playfully in that moment.
"I'm glad you're not angry." he confessed then.
"Why would I be angry?" she asked, though not in a suspicious, accusing tone. She was genuinely confused.
"For...uh...for like, overhearing your dreams, or whatever, if you thought it was like an invasion of privacy."
"I can hardly blame that on you if I'm the one mumbling it all in my sleep."
It took Kagome a minute, but it finally dawned on her why he seemed so flustered, when she recalled some of the dreams she'd had on occasion. Over the last month, most of her dreams had involved the hanyou lying beside her in one fashion or another. While she hadn't had any of those types of dreams, which seemed a small miracle as she thought about it, Kagome was fairly certain she'd probably murmured enough to let him know that she had at least been dreaming about him in one way or another.
Quickly deciding to get the topic of conversation away from herself, Kagome asked in that moment, "So, in your dream, did anything change around all weird, or was it basically how it had actually happened?"
She had to admit, she was kind of curious if he'd had the same dream she'd had on occasion, that she'd been brave enough to do what she'd truly wanted to do back then, what she probably would have done, had Nazuna not shattered the moment by reminding her that she and Inuyasha weren't alone in the room. Of course, she hadn't been thinking anything too perverted. The guy had been poisoned, after all. But she had been truly tempted to lean forward and plant a chaste kiss upon his lips. A small token of the affection she'd known even then that she felt for him; an explanation for why she had been crying for him, and a promise for what could become if only he wouldn't die on her.
Kagome was pulled from her musings when Inuyasha's response of, "It was pretty much how it'd happened. Why?" had her feeling unexpectedly disappointed.
"Oh..." she responded, unable to mask said disappointment in her voice.
"Kagome?"
"I was just wondering, because..." she started, "...whenever I've dreamed of that night, I've dreamed of doing this..."
That said, she stretched herself forward, leaning over him only a little, until she found his lips with her own. The kiss was chaste, innocent, and over much too soon for him to have had any chance to react before she was already pulling herself away.
Sucking in a sharp breath, Inuyasha gently pushed the girl aside so that he could sit himself up slightly. Kagome sat up in turn, nervously trying to gauge the expression in his shadowed eyes. His raven hair wasn't helping, as it curtained his face when he looked down, blocking his entire visage from view.
"Kagome..." he started then, choosing his words very carefully. "I've never dreamed of doing that with you..." he began, secretly smirking when he heard the girl's breathing hitch. "But I've dreamed of doing this."
With those words, he turned, leaning himself over as he wrapped his arms around her, and while remaining ever conscientious of the fact that she had a broken leg, he hungrily smashed his lips back down against her own, his tongue delving passed the borders of her mouth to entice her own tongue to dance with him. Gone was any attempt to deny or ignore their obvious feelings for one another. On that night, in that moment, he knew she loved him, and she knew he loved her.
Just about the time when he realized he couldn't hold his breath for as long while in his human form, Kagome finally broke the kiss in desperate need of her own oxygen. Flushed and panting, the miko did her best to get her scrambled thoughts in order before speaking.
"Inuyasha..." Kagome started shyly.
"Yes?"
Should I say it? she asked herself. Darn it! This is as good a time as any...
"Um...I..."Come on, Kagome, get a hold of yourself!
"What's wrong?" she suddenly heard him ask in a worried tone, as if he was beginning to fear he'd gone too far.
"Nothing!" she assured him right away, maybe a little too quickly. "Nothing's wrong, I just...I just wanted to say that I..."
Okay, romantic atmosphere gone, mission accomplished! Baka baka baka! she chastised herself.
Smiling gently at the clearly flustered girl, Inuyasha pulled his wild hair back behind his ears, something he normally couldn't ever do. He then reached up with both hands and gently brushed Kagome's hair back behind her ears, as well, relieved when the girl's eyes drifted closed with a gentle smile on her lips at the contact.
Leaning forward, he whispered into her ear, "Come on, you can say it."
Opening her eyes, one look at Inuyasha's expression assured Kagome that he knew full well what she was trying to say. She wondered briefly if it was something she had previously confessed while talking in her sleep. It was very possible.
"I love you..." she stated finally, no trace of uncertainty in her voice. Might as well admit it if he already knew, right?
Inuyasha smiled at her then, a genuine smile with no trace of mischief behind it. The look in his eyes was simply and purely happy, as he replied, "I love you too, my Kagome."
That last part lingered in her mind for a moment, "...my Kagome." She was his... He loved her, and she loved him...so that also meant that he was hers, didn't it?
With that last thought in mind, Kagome's expression suddenly took on a more lusty appearance, as she leaned herself forward to kiss him a third time, mirroring the passion he had just shown her. Within seconds, her tongue was begging at his lips, taking full advantage when he opened for her to explore him fully. He eagerly returned her passion, tightening his hold on her as she wound her arms up and around his neck.
It wasn't long before Inuyasha decided to take things even further, his tongue vacating the borders of Kagome's mouth to start a journey down her neck. Her heart pounded frantically in her chest, though the sound was muted to his temporarily human ears. Even so, her racing heart made it much easier for him to locate her pulse point, as he kissed it gently before teasing her skin with delicate love bites, careful not to cause her any pain.
Continuing to nip playfully up and down both sides of her throat, he took advantage of his lack of fangs to lay claim to her without breaking the skin. Kagome moaned softly at the contact, murmuring his name, and he growled seductively against her flesh, suckling her pulse point before nipping at her collarbone. Slowly, his eyes wandered downward, resting on the top button of her pajama top. Acting almost purely on passion and instinct, Inuyasha removed the hand that had wound up supporting Kagome's head, smiling in triumph as the girl permitted her head to tilt backwards as a result, exposing more of her throat to his greedy eyes. Dragging his tongue in a fiery trail across her heated skin, he stealthfully maneuvered his free hand to the front of her pajama top, and finding himself thankful to be without his hindering talons, Inuyasha deftly began unfastening button after button. He wasn't able to think about what he was doing, and whether or not he should be doing it. His entire body was functioning on passion-fueled autopilot, while most of the blood in his brain had relocated elsewhere.

Kagome's eyes were closed, and if she was aware of what his hand was doing, she made no move to stop him. She too had temporarily lost the ability to sustain coherent thought, so lost as she was in the passion of it all. At some point neither of them could recall, she had rolled over onto her back, so now, he was leaning slightly on top of her, though still somewhat off to the side. Her hands were wrapped up and around his back, sensually clutching the fabric of his suikan, while he continued to burn trails of searing heat across her flesh with his tongue. Panting heavily, Kagome's only reaction to his onslaught was to tilt her head further, granting him even better access to her throat. It wasn't until Inuyasha got the last button undone and his mouth suddenly found its way down to a heaving breast, his scorching tongue circling an erect nipple, that Kagome's mind was forcefully thrust back into reality.
"Ah!" she cried out, before quickly biting her lip to silence herself, hoping that if anyone had heard her they would just think she had moved her leg the wrong way.

"Eh...?" Inuyasha grunted in turn, louder than she would've liked, although the sound of his voice as he came back into himself was very reminiscent of the sound of someone being woken from a deep sleep, so that would work in her favor, at least.
Then Inuyasha's eyes widened in horror at the sight of Kagome's top splayed open before him, and the miko found herself biting her lip for a whole new reason as he harshly whispered "Fuck!" before immediately moving to vacate her bed.
Damn it, I knew this would happen! Stupid weak pathetic human scum! I'm scum!
As he rose to his knees in preparation for backing himself off her bed, Kagome had no trouble, even in such low lighting, noticing the very distinctive bulge in his hakama. Then her eyes were the ones widening in surprise. Flushed red, try as she might not to stare, Kagome simply couldn't look away, both fascinated and flattered by his reaction to their recent activities. She had to admit, he wasn't the only one who had gotten completely hot and bothered, and she was certain if he'd had his hanyou nose that her arousal would've been just as obvious to him as his was to her.
Noticing her wide-eyed stare, Inuyasha followed the imaginary dotted lines in the air made by her eyes, and realizing exactly what she was staring at, it was with a second "Fuck!" that he jumped off the bed. At some point he had unconciously reached down to adjust himself so that he had sprung free from his constricting fundoshi, and the tent he was pitching in his hakama as a result was beyond obvious.
In half a step he was at her door, about to open it, when her quiet plea of, "Inuyasha, wait a minute. Please?" reached his ears.
Sighing, he lowered his hand from her door, though he didn't immediately turn to face her, standing with his back to her still. He just couldn't bring himself to look at her at the moment.
Realizing he was waiting for her to say whatever it was she wanted to say to him, Kagome swallowed her pride, as well as her embarrassment over the general situation, and while instinctively clutching her opened pajama top closed in her hand, she admitted... "I...I was just surprised. No one's ever...well..." Taking a deep breath, she decided to abandon that particular topic, and instead begged him, "Please don't be mad at me."
That got him to look at her, as he spun around in shock at her words.
"Mad at you...?" he echoed, genuinely surprised by the look of guilt on her face. "Mad at you?" he stated again, ironically getting upset over the fact that she had asked him not to get upset. Still, he knew enough to keep his voice at barely above a whisper. This was a private conversation, after all.
"You're the one who should be mad at me." he stated in a matter-of-factly tone of voice, as though Kagome were a complete idiot for not having realized it on her own. Then losing his sudden bravado, the miko was sure from his slump in posture that his ears would've lowered to rest flatly against his head, had he had his inu ears in that moment, as he mumbled pathetically, "I'm...I'm sorry."
"It's okay, Inuyasha." she assured him gently.
For a moment, she was sure she saw his eyes light up with what almost looked like a combination of amazement and hope, but then a frown appeared on his visage once more, as he quietly murmured, "No, it's not..."
Thinking he was probably concerned about it being a matter of honor, Kagome assured him in that moment, "Yes, it is. I'm a big girl, and you didn't do anything I didn't want you to do."
His eyes grew wide at those words, the memory of just what he'd done being impossible to ignore.
He opened his mouth to say something, but "I..." was all be was able to utter.
Giggling a bit at his expression, Kagome asked him in turn, "Why all the insecurity all of a sudden?" When he only looked embarrassed but didn't answer her, she added, "We just confessed that we love each other, so you can't tell me you hadn't thought I would be willing to do those types of things with you, and aren't you the one who said he'd dreamt of doing those things with me?"
"I..." he started again, before lowering his eyes to the floor. "It's complicated."
"I'm listening..." he heard her whisper, and grateful for her understanding, Inuyasha took a moment to gather his thoughts, breathing deeply before finally braving raising his head to look her in the eyes once again.
"I wanted to kiss you so badly, but I hadn't thought we would...well..." he began, blushing at the recent memories of what had transpired. "I just didn't think too far into it, I guess." he confessed, lifting a hand to sheepishly rub the back of his head. "We can't go any further." he stated then, lowering his arm.
Unexpectedly, she giggled again, although he quickly realized she wasn't laughing at him as she gestured to her plaster-incased limb. "I know we can't." she pointed out.
That made the look in Inuyasha's eyes morph into surprise and guilt as he blurted out, "Oh hell, I forgot about your leg! Are you okay?"
Smiling, she reassured him, "My leg's fine..." but then her brow furrowed in confusion. "But...if you weren't talking about my cast, then what..."
Letting her words trail off, Kagome raised her eyes back up to meet his own. She was surprised by the unexpected look on his face, as she suddenly found him staring at her with a bit of a vacant expression, but then quickly realizing that she had accidentally released her pajama top when she'd gestured to her leg, she Eep'd before holding her top closed with both hands.
Inuyasha blinked a moment before raising his eyes the few inches that were necessary to reach her face, a sigh of relief leaving his lips when he noted from her expression that she wasn't angry with him for the slip. He was a guy, after all.
Blushing as she fumbled with fastening the buttons of her top, Kagome valiantly ignored her faux pas as she asked him again, "If it wasn't my leg, then what is it?"
Moving forward, Inuyasha sat back down on the edge of her bed, wishing for all the world that he had his hanyou senses so he would be able to accurately discern her true reaction to what he was about to reveal. He was unsure of how to tell her what needed to be said, but figured after a moment that the first thing he really needed to do was figure out exactly what her feelings were for him. Reaching forward and taking her hand, he looked Kagome right in the eyes as he asked her, "What do you want, Kagome?"
"What do you mean?" she asked him in turn. She thought she knew what he was talking about, but didn't want to end up jumping to the wrong conclusion.
"With me..." he specified then, assuring her he was talking about what she thought he was. "What do you want...between you and me?"
Looking him right in the eyes, her voice was soft and sincere as she told him, "I want... I had hoped, especially considering recent events..." He knew she was referring to Kikyou. "...that you and I could be in a relationship."
"What do you mean by 'relationship'?" he asked her then, in a manner that made it clear he wasn't unfamiliar with the term, but that he simply wanted her to elaborate even more on exactly what it was she wanted. He needed to make certain she understood what being in a 'relationship' with him would truly entail.
Kagome was hesitant to continue, but only because she was worried she might scare him away if she poured her heart out all at once. They had just barely told one another that they loved each other, after all, so she didn't think it would be appropriate to suddenly ask the guy to marry her. While she knew he loved her, his current line of questioning was really starting to worry her.
"Well..." she started after a moment, "Like boyfriend and girlfriend?" she tried hopefully.
He just blinked at her, unfamiliar with the modern phrase.
Damn it...how do people say it back in his time?
Worrying her bottom lip, Kagome thought back to the one term she had heard used over and over again. While the terminology was a little degrading in her opinion, it wasn't truly all that different from what he himself had said just a few minutes prior, during their confessions of love.
"I want to be your woman, Inuyasha." she stated then, emphasizing the important part in a way that left no room for doubt.
He smiled at her then, finally explaining himself as he stated, "Human 'relationships' can be fleeting, I've seen it happen. They get caught up in the heat of the moment and join together without commitment. Of course that's not always the case, but with inu-youkai that's never the case. It isn't possible." he explained.
Kagome nodded slowly, doing her best to keep up. It sounded like he was saying he actually wanted a commitment with her, so that was a good thing, wasn't it? She smiled then, causing him to smile in turn, before a frown took over his features, a look of remorse dominating his eyes.
"I'm so, so sorry, Kagome...that I allowed myself to be weak like the weak human I currently am." he apologized sincerely, causing a new feeling of worry to slowly build within her stomach.
"Wait..." she interrupted then. "If I understand you right, it's that inu-youkai don't have meaningless flings. If they pair up then it's always with a serious commitment, right?"
He nodded silently.
"So then why are you apologizing?" she asked with obvious nervousness. "Is it that, because you're currently human and your emotions got the better of you in a fleeting 'human' way, you got caught up in something you didn't really want?"
It hurt her to ask such a question, but she needed to know where he was coming from. He had seemed so happy at her confession of wanting to be his, but then again, he hadn't really said that he wanted a commitment with her, but only that there would be no other option. Now it was starting to sound like that meant he didn't want to be with her at all.
Eyes widening at how she had clearly misunderstood him, Inuyasha tightened his hold on her hand before leaning forward and wrapping his other arm around her in a half-hug.
"Kami...that's not it at all, Kagome. I want to be with you more than anything." he blurted, amazingly unashamed to admit his feelings out loud. "It's just that...well, because I'm human right now, I got a little carried away without my youkai instincts to butt in and stop me. But it would be a dishonor to join with you as a human without you being aware of inu-youkai custom. Because I'm hanyou, I suppose I technically could go against my youkai instincts, but I just can't because my honor won't allow it. Despite having a human heart, I'm inu-youkai in my soul. If we do this, we do it the inu-youkai way."
Relieved at his admittance, she pulled back from the hug, looking him in his eyes as she asked more for clarification, "And that is...?" She just needed to hear him say it plainly.
"Inu-youkai mate for life." he told her, granting her wish.
"I want you, Kagome." he continued after a moment. "I love you." he assured her, squeezing her hand. "But I just had to explain, because you're human, and while I don't know how things are done in your time, in my time, humans can be...well...not like inu-youkai."
She giggled a bit at the way he tiptoed around saying that humans, at times, could be a bunch of sluts. It was clear that's what he'd meant, though not necessarily in an insulting way, humans and inu-youkai were simply designed differently. Humans could go through life with multiple partners...especially in her time. Depending on the circumstances, such a thing wouldn't be looked down on at all, like a genuine relationship that had just gone south for one reason or another. But such a thing apparently didn't exist in the inu-youaki world. 'Till death do you part' was taken literally.
"So, if we had sex..." she began slyly, smirking at the way his eyes widened at her bluntness, "It would be like we were married? Only there's no such thing as divorce, so it would be forever, no matter what?"
"Marriage is the closet things humans have to the inu-youkai bond between mates." he agreed, "Though I've still seen those with impure hearts, those who lie, those who cheat. Inu-youkai do not cheat on their mates." he emphasized. "We would be bound together until death." Trailing off on an after thought, he added, "The only reason I'm here is because Sesshoumaru's mother had died, otherwise our father would have never mated with my mother."
No wonder Sesshoumaru hates him so much... Kagome thought in passing, realizing that to the Daiyoukai, it must have felt like his father had betrayed his mother's memory, taking a human as his second mate.
"So..." she started after a moment, her thoughts back on the matter at hand. "You do want to be with me, but you just had to make sure I understood that, because you're an inu-hanyou, we have to follow the inu-youkai rules. Even though I'm human, and you're half human, your youkai side is dominant in this, and if we 'mated'...it would be for life, no ands, ifs or buts."
None of it was stated as a question, she was merely repeating it all to let him know that she did understand.
"Yes."
"And how you feel about 'stuff' doesn't change when you turn hanyou, right?"
Chuckling, he leaned forward and planted a chaste kiss on her nose, before assuring her, "Yes, I will still want you for my mate in the morning."
Looking down at her cast one last time, Inuyasha's human ears were strong enough to pick up her mumbled curse of, "Stupid broken leg..."
Looking up to meet his eyes once more, Kagome giggled again at the amusement in his gaze. Lying herself back down in that moment, the miko affectionately patted his side of the bed, and that time, he didn't turn down her invitation, settling himself back down into his original position. Opening his left arm wide, Kagome cuddled herself against him, loving the extra layer of closeness as he held her to him with his left hand on her side. He didn't care if his arm fell asleep in that position, she was his and he wanted to make sure she knew that he wanted her to be his. It didn't take long for each of them to surrender to the luring temptation of slumber, and it was the most peaceful night's sleep either of them could ever remember.
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The Accident