Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Deliverance	By : inufan625 Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > InuYasha/Kagome Views: 14104 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 5
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha and will make no money from this work of fiction. This will apply to all chapters contained within.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
InuYasha shot up in bed. His feet had barely touched the floor before was flying through the two doorways that separated them. Kagome’s scream ensured that he was moving faster than he ever had before in his life. He knew there was one else in the house, that it was just a nightmare, but it didn’t matter, nothing mattered but getting to her and making her feel safe again. He reached her side just as she sat up. He could hear the way her heart pounded in her chest and she was panting. The sweat on her face and that had dampened her hair stank of fear and it made his stomach clench.
Her eyes darted around the room as she tried to find her bearings. He sat down carefully and this time when she looked his way she saw him. He reached her her slowly, not wanting to add to her terror and was relieved when instead of flinching she threw herself into his arms. Her body was shaking as she clung to him.
“I’ve got you,” he soothed as he held her. “I’m here.”
“InuYasha,” she whispered her voice a plea.
His youkai wanted to find the bastard who was tormenting her even in her dreams and show him what it really meant to experience fear and pain before sending him to hell, but first he wanted to calm her, to show her that he would protect her heart as well as her body. The human in him wanted her to feel safe and happy, but he didn’t think it was a good idea for it to go beyond that. He might not survive the next heartbreak. He growled a little at the turmoil in his own head. Now, wasn’t the time for that.
As if she sensed the argument going on inside his head Kagome lifted hers. He could feel the heat of her breath as it brushed across his chin and then across his lips. Hers were parted slightly and he wanted desperately to find out if they were as soft as they looked as sweet as he imagined. She whimpered and suddenly her mouth was pressed against his, her fingers digging into his chest as she looked for something to hold on to.
He didn’t know who had closed the distance between them. Had it been him or had she been the one? Did it matter? He dragged her further against him, coaxing her into deepening the kiss with his tongue. He was nearly lost as he got his first real taste of her. She could not be real, not this beautiful woman who suffered but hoped and who made him burn for her with little more than feel of her tongue brushing against his own. The human in him cried that it was too much. He couldn’t do this, couldn’t let himself feel again, because it would hurt too much when they lost her.
He drew away from her with a deep aching sort of regret and she looked at him with a tenderness, an understanding that only made it worse. “I’m s-”
She put her fingers over his mouth. “Don’t apologize, please don’t. Say that you can’t, but please not that you’re sorry or that you didn’t mean it. I can’t, I can bear, but not the rest.”
“I can’t,” he said hating himself for not being a better man, a stronger one.
She smiled and he wondered if it might already be too late for him. He cupped her cheek in his hand as he stood, certain that she must see his longing and his regret. He turned to leave and she grabbed his hand.
“Please, stay,” she said quietly. “I don’t think I’ll be able to go back to sleep alone. I understand, I really do and I won’t make it harder for you, I promise.”
Idiot woman, didn’t know that just being who she was made it harder for him, but he knew what she was saying. She would respect his decision and wouldn’t try to change his mind. If she could do that when she clearly wanted him as much as a part of him wanted her then couldn’t he do this for her, be there for her. He’d promised to protect her and wasn’t a part of that making sure she felt protected always, and not just when it was easy for him.
“Alright,” he agreed. “Kagome…”
She just shook her head and scooted over making room for him beside her. She turned away from him and he climbed in bed behind her. He couldn’t drape his arm over her and pull her against him like his youkai wanted, even if he was certain she would have allowed it, so he settled for sitting up against the headboard and smoothing her hair with his hand as she drifted off back to sleep.
As he watched her sleeping he used the time to think. He damned that woman not for the first time only this time it wasn’t for the pain she caused him but for the one she was causing Kagome by having fucked him up so bad that he just couldn’t seem to put himself back together. He clenched his fist with a growl and she whimpered in her sleep but stopped as soon as his hand was back against her head.
She would stay for now and when she was safe once more she would leave. He’d be alone again, a prospect that no longer seemed as welcome as it had only two weeks ago. He thought about the asshole who had grabbed her outside the post office and scowled. What would happen to her when he wasn’t around to protect her, when she was back out on her own again? Maybe he could teach her to protect herself, from human men at least, so she wouldn’t have to be afraid.
He decided that he would ask her tomorrow if she’d like to learn how to fight at least enough to get some bastard to let her go if he wouldn’t do it when she asked him to. Maybe he would move back to the city just so he could keep an eye on her from time to time. Surely she wouldn’t mind seeing him occasionally. Maybe they could even be friends. The youkai in him liked that idea better than never seeing her again, but not as much as the one where he quit being such a coward and accepted that she could be the true love of his life if he let her.
As far as the youkai was concerned that other woman was dead to him. She had not been worthy of him anyway. She hadn’t accepted who he really was, always wanting him to be less youkai. She could fucking rot for all he cared and he felt even more animosity towards her now that her actions were interfering with what the youkai saw as their future, but the human was not so easily swayed. There had been love there at least on his side and sometimes they had been happy. He just couldn’t let that go, just as he couldn’t seem to let go of his feelings of betrayal either.
He sighed it wouldn’t do any good to keep thinking in circles like he was. Clearly his complete self wasn’t ready and he didn’t know if he ever would be.

The sun rose after the end of a very long night and InuYasha swore as he realized that he felt drained in a way he shouldn’t from only spending half the night awake. The moonless night was upon them and he wondered how Kagome might react. Would she fear his humanity as she did not fear his youkai? It might be best if he kept his secret a secret and simply shut himself in his room before sunset. He knew he could trust her but why burden her with his weakness.
Kagome stirred just in time to hear the bedroom door being shut quietly. InuYasha was gone, which she had expected. She slipped out of bed and went to the bathroom, making sure to close his door first. She let the warm water of the shower run down over head and a few self pitying tears roll down her cheeks.
She hadn’t been lying to him when she told him that she understood why he couldn’t let himself be with her, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t disappointed or heartsore. He wasn’t like any man she had ever known before and no one had ever made her feel as safe. She took a deep breath and locked away her disappointment for now, reminding herself that just because he wasn’t ready now didn’t mean that he would never be ready, and it wasn’t like he wasn’t interested in her. She could be patient.
She got out, dried her hair and then got dressed. She found InuYasha in the kitchen plating breakfast for them. Her brow furrowed. There was something different about him. His youki felt strange somehow. Maybe it had something to do with last night. She put on her best smile to try and reassure him that she was going to keep her word not to make it harder for him. He set her plate in front of her without a word and then sat down.
“Thank you,” she offered.
He grunted in reply and all but inhaled his food. She watched him as he put his plate in the sink. He turned around and leaned against the counter. “I was up last night thinking about what happens when this bastard has been dealt with and wanted to offer to teach you a little in the way of self defense. If you wanted, I mean. That way at least you wouldn’t have to worry about any human asshole putting his hands on you.”
Her eyes widened a little but she also felt relieved that he wasn’t going to shut her out completely. “I’d like that.”
“Keh, I warn you this isn’t going to be some shit you learn in a women’s self defense class at a community center or whatever,” he told her. “I’m going to teach you to go for maximum damage and to fight dirty.”
She nodded. “Well, considering anyone whom I might use these tactics on will be trying to hurt me, I say they’ll be getting what they deserve.”
For the first time this morning he smiled a little. It was just a small upturn of his lips that showed only the barest hint of his fangs, but it was something and it gave her hope. For now she would try to be his friend if he’d let her and she’d learn from him, put her faith in him to protect and who knew where they might end up.
“Good, then let me go grab you something to wear better suited to training and we can get started,” he said.
When he returned it was with a dark blue hakama and juban. She took the offered clothing and went to her room to change. Traditional clothing definitely wasn’t her favorite thing to wear to work out but she wasn’t exactly spoiled for choice and it was better than the heavy jeans and sweaters that currently made up her wardrobe. She would have much rather prefered a nice pair of yoga pants and a tank top, not to mention a sports bra.
She stepped back out into the hall to find InuYasha waiting for her, wearing similar clothing, though his hakama was a bright red and tied tightly at his ankles. As she followed him she noticed that the hakama were made of some sort of fur like fabric rather than the cotton or synthetic blend you might expect. Something she might not have noticed if she hadn’t been admiring him as they climbed the stairs. It was only too bad he had glanced back and caught her staring. At least she hadn’t been drooling.
She felt heat rise into her cheeks. “Sorry, I was just wondering what those are made out of.”
He eyed her speculatively with one brow raised and the hint of a smirk on his lips but didn’t call her on it. “Keh, they’re made from the fur of the fire rat. A gift from my old man. Since someone hasn’t done my laundry yet, I didn’t have any other hakama.”
“Why you!” she tried as she stomped her foot and put her hands on her hips. “I’m not your maid remember!”
He chuckled. “That’s for trying to act like you weren’t staring at my ass. Pervert.”
She blushed more deeply but was relieved. If he was willing to tease her like that then they really were okay after last night. She stepped past him into his training room with a shrug. “Eh, I’ve seen better.” He made a strangled sort of sound and she giggled. She was a huge liar of course but the desired effect had been achieved without breaking her promise to keep her less platonic feelings towards him to herself. “So, are we going to get started or what?”
He was shaking his head as he came to stand in front of her but it was with good humor. “Alright then. Before we start...It’s important we do this right. The best way to learn how to defend yourself is to actually do it. I’m going to have to grab you but I won’t hurt you.”
She rolled her eyes. “Duh.”
He snorted. “I’m serious. I’m not going to go easy. If you don’t do what I show you right, I’m not going to humor you and let go or tell you what a good try that was or whatever. And another thing, don’t worry about hurting me. As long as you don’t hit me with your reiki I’m going to be fine.”
“I understand,” she said. “And you need to understand that I don’t want you to go easy on me or hold back because whoever I might have to defend myself from won’t be. So where do we start.”

Kagome toweled off after her second shower of the day. InuYasha had given her quite the workout, but she felt really good. He was a much more patient teacher than she would have ever expected, especially since she had taken him telling her not to hold back a little too seriously and dislocated his thumb. It was only the fact that he had actually sworn he was impressed and had simply popped it back into place that kept her from bursting into remorseful tears, that and the fact that he insisted on her not letting up. Even still she had never been more thankful for hanyou healing.
When he’d called their session to an end she really felt like she had learned at least a little that she could use to defend herself if she ever needed, though she also knew that she still had a lot to learn. Now she was more determined than ever to get better to be stronger. She didn’t want to feel helpless or spend her life afraid.
She got dressed went back to the living room. InuYasha was there still wearing his red hakama and now a matching haori as well. He grabbed a knit cap from one of the hooks by the door and pulled it on. “Going out?”
“Yeah, it’s been too long since I’ve done a real sweep of my territory,” he told her. “I need to make sure that wolf hasn’t been around and that no lesser youkai have tried to set up a nest nearby.”
“Lesser youkai?” she asked. “I thought they were mostly extinct.”
“Most people who live in the city do,” he replied. “It’s true there aren’t many, but way out in the country like this you run into them from time to time. I may be out for a while, but I’ll definitely be back before sunset.”
“Oh, okay,” she said. “Well, be careful and I’ll guess I’ll see you when you get back.” He nodded and reached for the door knob and she realized there was one more thing she wanted to say. “InuYasha?”
He looked back. “Yeah?”
“I just wanted to say thanks, you know for teaching me to defend myself,” she told him. “I know I have a lot to learn but I do feel better now, more… hopeful I guess and less afraid. So, um, thank you.”
“Keh, you’re welcome,” he replied and then he was gone, the door closing softly behind him.
She had to force herself not to go over to the window, even though she knew he was already probably long gone. She also knew it was stupid to worry. He’d been living here for years and knew how to handle himself, but she couldn’t help it, just like she couldn’t help the way she felt about him. It was so unfair that she’d finally met a man who made her feel so much more than just a passing attraction, a man who made her want, who made her yearn to be near him, only to have him be a man who had also been hurt so very badly that he was afraid to trust, to love again.
She’d dated attractive men before, smart ones, and ones who were funny, but never one quite like him. Certainly she had never dated anyone who could have gotten away with saying they were going to jerk off thinking about her without seeming like a total pervert. She smiled at the memory and at the hope that it was true. She was more than willing to be patient, to wait and to give him more time to heal his broken heart, and would stay by his side doing her best to show him that it would be safe in her hands. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind that it would be more than worth the wait.
- 5
- 6
- 7
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Deliverance