Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Blood Stained	By : Maddiesan Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Kagome > Sessh?maru/Kagome Views: 61648 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 6
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, and I do not make any money from these writings

Chapter List
- 63
- 64
- 65
A/N: Thank you Daniella for beta-reading.
Blood Stained
Chapter 64: Glimpse of the Past
Zing!
Kagome's eyes opened wide as she dropped the towel she had been holding in her hands. A familiar feeling tingled through her body and she rushed outside of the bathroom. Her heart was pumping at an unbelievable speed while she began glancing around trying to find Sesshomaru. He didn't appear in her line of sight until she reached the kitchen. Once she arrived inside the room, panic was written all over her facial features.
"It's here."
Sesshomaru frowned slightly as he put his cup of coffee down. "What is here?"
His new appearance was still requiring some getting used to considering it had been a while since the last time he had been ruining around every day looking like himself. Nonetheless, she pushed the initial shock aside. "The shard. I can feel it."
Frankly, Sesshomaru had almost given up on the last shard. They had been at their current location for so long since so many things had happened that he had almost thought that they would never find it. What also added to his surprise was the fact that it was apparently right there when they had been looking all over, even in the most deserted areas.
"Are you certain?"
She nodded. "It feels like it's coming right for us."
Kagome could not help but feel slightly afraid. After all, if the shard was coming for them, it meant someone was looking for them as well. Currently, Sesshomaru could not offer any protection and it made her feel uneasy. Granted the beast wasn't her favorite person, but at least he would save her if it came down to the worst possible situation.. Without his youki, Sesshomaru would be left to watch if something happened, unable to defend them.
Sesshomaru saw the panic in her eyes, and it wasn't hard to guess what she was thinking. He also knew there was only one thing to do. However that one thing would shatter his pride and in normal circumstances it would not be something he would do. Yet, if it might protect Kagome and Kiyoshi, then he had to do it. He would go seek Kouga and ask for his help. The Wolf could not refuse.
"Don't move."
As soon as he spoke the words, Sesshomaru dashed out of the room and went banging on Kouga's door. It was still fairly early and he hoped that Kouga was awake. If he wasn't he would pound on the door until he was.
It was after ten seconds or so that Kouga flung the door open, looking quite annoyed. "Whaddaya want?"
"Kagome says the shard is here."
Kouga raised both eyebrows clearly shocked. "Here? At the hotel?"
"I'm not sure, she said it was near and it's getting closer."
Kouga, who had been wearing nothing but a pair of boxers grabbed the closest t-shirt, put it on, before following Sesshomaru to the next room. He almost wondered why Sesshomaru needed him, but before he could allow himself to think about it, he noticed his new appearance. Or rather his old one.
"Your beast ain't back? And just what do you need me for?"
"My youki is gone."
Kouga blinked. "Gone?"
Sesshomaru held back a frustrated sigh. "Can you feel it?"
He stopped as they reach the door as Kouga tried to feel his aura but nothing came. "No. "
"I'll explain later."
Right now they didn't know what was going on with the shard, or who was carrying it, and frankly they didn't have time to waste keeping Kouga up to date. Plus this was not Sesshomaru's current favorite subject. He was still bittersweet about losing himself and the changes happening and Kouga was not exactly his favorite person to share with.
Kouga nodded slightly before entering the room. Immediately he spotted Kagome standing near the window looking out. "Do you still feel it?"
Kagome quickly nodded. "It's coming here, I know it."
Now the question was how did the person now where to find them, and why were they coming to them? Their first encounter with the shard hadn't turned out good, and the other person who had been looking for the incomplete jewel had been completely insane. Thus, this was not looking too favorable.
Suddenly the quietness of the room was pierced by a scream, and Kagome's eyes closed. Kiyoshi. He had to be protected just in case whoever was coming over was not an ally. Kagome was about to turn around to go console her son when she saw Sesshomaru taking the lead and going there himself.
"I'll do it," she said, a bit confused.
Sesshomaru shook his head. "You're more useful keeping your attention on the shard. And Kouga can protect you. I cannot do anything. I will take care of him."
There it was; he had admitted out loud that he was useless. His head hung a bit low as he disappeared from their view. His pride was hurt, but he wouldn't let it show. He had to put their safety before anything else, even if it was painful. Silence filled his mind as he took the few steps that separated him from his son.
Kiyoshi's cries ceased almost as soon as Sesshomaru looked inside the crib. He had to admit, a part of him felt a bit scared that his son would either not recognize him or would not approve of this new self. Slowly he reached out and picked up Kiyoshi, carefully holding him in his arms.
His son's eyes were on him, almost as if he was examining him or trying to recognize him. Usually his aura would give him away, but now that his youki was not just locked away but gone, he wondered if Kiyoshi could tell it was him. It was then that his son lifted his arm, reaching out for his father's face. Sesshomaru bent forward just a bit so that Kiyoshi's fingers could touch his face.
Gently his tiny, chubby fingers traced his stripes and lingered at the end of them. Sesshomaru didn't dare move or breathe as he allowed his son to do as he pleased. Strangely Kiyoshi's touch was bringing him some comfort he had not found in the past two days.
All of the sudden, the contact was intensified by a light coming from his son's fingers. It felt as if it was reaching out for something inside of him. A storm was quickly stirring and it was like his son could pull him from inside himself. A bit of panic rose, and before he knew it, he was pulling himself away.
Meanwhile, Kiyoshi simply looked at him, the same glance in his eyes.
Clearly there was more to his son than he had realized.
In the other room Kagome was on her toes, waiting as the shard only came closer and closer. She didn't like the idea of waiting for it to come and get her since it felt as if she was putting her loved ones in danger. Though, she assumed the carrier of the shard already knew their location. Still, the further this was happening from Kiyoshi, the better.
Without thinking about it twice, she dashed for the door and began heading to the elevator.
Her actions left Kouga sighing; she was still the same girl he knew five hundred years ago. He knew better than to yell after her since it would not stop her so instead, he began running after her. Perhaps he wouldn't be able to hold her back, but the least he could do was accompany her.
It wasn't too long until he exited the room as well, the door slamming behind him which attracted Sesshomaru's attention. He peered inside the kitchen, his son in his arms, only to be graced with an empty room. A nervous feeling filled him slightly, as he wondered why they had left. The only thing he was grateful for was the fact that Kouga was also gone, meaning he was looking after Kagome.
And now there he was again. He had to be left behind because he could not do anything…
-B-
"Kagome, I don't think it's a good idea."
Kagome pushed the doors of the hotel open and walked onto the sidewalk. "You don't think it's a good idea? I think it's better to meet whoever is coming here, then to meet them inside the hotel room where my son is."
Kouga decided to not argue with that logic but he still didn't think it was the safest solution. Whoever was coming was determined and he had seen what power and the jewel could do to someone. Kagome had almost been killed last time someone had been after the jewel and he refused to let that happen. He had promise to protect her, and some hundreds of years ago he had made her pack.
He'd always look after her.
"It's getting close," she said turning her head to the side slightly while looking out for either a strange person, or a car.
Protectively, Kouga took a step forward and stood in front of her as if to shield her from whatever danger was ahead. The seconds ticked away, his instincts getting sharper by the moment, waiting.
"It's here," she said almost holding her breath as she looked into the distance.
It was then that a dark green vehicle pulled over the side of the hotel and parked. Kagome's eyes were locked on the door as it slowly opened, revealing a woman. She had bright blue hair, which was tied up in a messy bun. She had shiny red eyes, which soon enough made contact with hers. She was a youkai; there was no mistake about it… unless she was a very extravagant human.
Though, if she was youkai, she'd have a tail, or maybe ears to prove it. She had nothing, except her flashy looks.
"Isn't that a very obvious appearance?" asked Kagome without breaking eye contact with the woman.
When all she received was silence, she looked up at Kouga. His eyes were set on the female, never even paying any attention to Kagome. Deciding to bring his attention back to her, Kagome waved a hand in front of his face. "Kouga?"
It was then that he tore his eyes away from the youkai to glance down at Kagome. "Sorry what did you say?"
Kagome resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Eyeing her much?"
Kouga backed away slightly. "No, she just, she seems familiar."
He didn't know where he had seen her before, but he knew their paths had crossed. Then again it could have been hundreds of years ago since youkais had good memory.
Both of them watched as the woman smiled and began walking in their direction. Kagome was a bit thrown off by her confidence. Why wasn't she nervous? And most of all, how did she know how to find them? Kagome remained slightly behind Kouga as the woman finally stopped in front of them.
"Hello, I'm Kai."
She bowed slightly, a smile always present on her face.
Kagome was a bit surprised by she returned the introduction. "I'm K-"
"Kagome," Kai finished for her. "And you are Kouga."
"How do you know all this?" asked Kagome as her confusion grew.
"Shall we go inside?" proposed Kai as she gestured towards the door.
"How do we know we can trust you?" asked Kouga as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.
Kai shrugged her shoulders. "You don't. But Lord Sesshomaru seems to think he can trust me. After all, he left his watch in my care."
Kagome frowned. "You're the one who fixed it?"
"I did," said Kai, her voice soft.
"Kag, it doesn't mean you can trust her."
"I know," said Kagome as she glanced at Kouga. "But I think we can. I can feel it."
There was a vibe about Kai that Kagome couldn't explain but she didn't feel threatened. Perhaps it was part of her plot, but Kagome was willing to take a risk and trust her. After all, she had at least introduced herself instead of kidnapping her or harming her, thus Kagome would give her a chance.
"If you're so sure," said Kouga as he took a step forward, and opened the door for both women. "After you," he said to Kai, offering her a smile.
Kai returned the smile, before entering the hotel knowing exactly where she was heading. Kagome followed right after still a bit intrigued. She knew deep inside that the woman wasn't bad at all, but she still couldn't understand how she knew all the things she knew. She doubted Sesshomaru would have shared all that information with her when they briefly met…
Or at least she thought so.
All three of them went up the stairs and silence was surrounding them until they reached the hotel room. Both Kouga and Kai stayed out of the way as Kagome slid her card into the card reader. Once the light went from red to green, she pushed it open.
"Kagome? Is everything well?" inquired Sesshomaru as he walked closer to her, Kiyoshi still in his arms.
He hadn't been able to put him down since they had left. It would not really protect him, but it felt as if it was doing something.
"Yeah, we brought back someone you know."
Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Someone I know?"
Kagome moved out of the way and allowed Kai and Kouga to enter the room. Immediately, Kai smiled at Sesshomaru and she bowed. "Lord Sesshomaru."
It was hard for Sesshomaru to hide his surprise. He had known she had been a bit strange and what not, but he hadn't expected her to track them down or to have the shard. Most importantly, he had not seen her as dangerous, but if she wasn't why was she here?
"Why have you come here?"
"I was simply returning something that belonged to Kagome."
Kai pulled a tiny little red pouch out of her pocket and handed it over to Kagome. She opened it as soon as it was in her possession, only to reveal that it held the last shard. Her heart skipped a beat as she gently picked it up and held it up high, unable to look away. There it was in her hand, the last shard. This was the last piece missing; after five hundred years the jewel would be complete.
Her heart began to beat a bit faster, and she realized her hand was shaking.
This woman had the shard this whole time?
"Why did you have it?"
"A while back a human was addicted to knowing their fortune. Eventually she ran out of money and she offered to pay me with this. Usually I refuse jewels and what not, but I recognized this, and knew it was better in my hand then in a human's hand. They are much more corruptible."
Kagome had faith in people but she could not disagree. Though most of the time, youkais could not be trusted either when it came to obtaining power.
"Why would you give it to me?"
"Aren't you the Shikon No Tama Miko?"
Kagome pressed her lips together and nodded. "But it doesn't explain why you're giving it to me, why not keep it?"
Kai shook her head. "It's not mine. It belongs to you. What could one shard do for me?"
This time Sesshomaru cut in. "One shard might not do anything, but the whole jewel could."
She couldn't help but laugh a bit. "I have no interest in power, Lord Sesshomaru."
He hadn't gotten a bad vibe about her when he had spent hours in her company. She had also been honest with him and she had provided help when he had required it. Still, he found it suspicious that someone would do something without expecting anything in return. Sesshomaru had seen the world change and nobody ever did something out of the sake of helping another being.
"What do you want in exchange for the shard?"
"Absolutely nothing."
Kai was not surprised that Sesshomaru didn't trust her; he had not changed. She had not known him personally in the past but she had heard about him. He trusted nobody and he didn't allow many people in his vicinity. Though she was getting a different feeling from him, she could tell certain things about him had remained the same.
"What do you benefit from this?"
"Nothing."
"So why do it?"
"Because it's the right thing to do."
"And why-"
Before Sesshomaru could pursue his interrogation, Kagome pushed him aside slightly. "Sesshomaru, that's enough. She's just trying to help us."
Usually she was fairly good at judging people, and the more they were around Kai, the more she felt like they could trust her. Though Kagome did have a few questions of her own to ask, but they were not accusations.
"How did you know where we were and our names?"
"I saw it in Sesshomaru's mind," she bluntly admitted. "I'm a fortune teller, but it doesn't mean I'm a fraud." Before Kagome could ask another question, Kai tilted her head slightly, glancing at Kouga. "Him though I know."
Kouga raised an eyebrow. "I knew you seemed familiar."
Kai smiled brightly prior to taking off a silver ring that had been on her finger. It wasn't too long until her ears became pointy, and a light brown tail came from under her skirt.
Kouga knew too well the color of her tail because it was the same as his. That could only mean that she was from his clan. But she didn't seem-
"Kai? As in Shinjitsu's daughter Kai?"
She nodded.
"I remember you! "he said pointing a finger at her. "Your father was killed by Kagura when we were trapped. But you were nothing more than a cub, barely a year old."
"That is correct," she said, a certain sadness in her eyes.
"Your mother left the pack after the incident, upset that her mate had been killed under my supervision."
"We lived on our own mostly after that, joining some other packs from time to time, but mom didn't want to be with people anymore."
The reason why she seemed familiar was because he remembered every person who left the pack. He had tried to stop her mother and explain the incident, but she had refused to listen. He didn't like having his own endangering their life, but she had left anyway.
Frankly he had believed that neither of them would have made it, especially not Kai, but he had been wrong.
"We can trust her," finally said Kouga as he leaned against the wall. It didn't matter that her mother left; pack was pack. Most people might have given up on the idea, but he didn't.
To him, it still meant everything.
"Thank you," she said, offering him a soft smile.
"I don't mean to intrude on the reunion, but can you read everyone's mind?"
Kai shrugged her shoulders. "It doesn't exactly work like that. I just can see sometimes. Flashes, waves, and sometimes sentences. It works strangely."
"Well thank you for this," said Kagome lifting the shard. "Though I wish I could actually use it."
"What do you mean?" asked both Sesshomaru and Kouga unison.
Kagome looked down, a bit ashamed. The jewel was her responsibility, and perhaps it did belong to her as Kai had stated but she couldn't rid the world of it. "I'm afraid that the darkness in the jewel will overpower me."
She knew it had been a while since she had last tried to handle the jewel, but she didn't think things had changed. After all, she hadn't grown or changed that much since then. Yes, she had let go of a few events and feelings, but was that enough? Was she truly protected from the darkness growing inside the jewel?
Kai took a few steps in Kagome's direction before putting a hand on her shoulder. "I think everything will be fine. When you're ready, it will all work out."
Kagome wanted to be reassured by Kai's words, but she didn't know if she could. It was true that perhaps Kai knew the future, but maybe she was only saying that to make her feel better. Kagome wanted to be strong, but she wasn't sure if she could believe in herself the way she used to.
"Thank you," she said nonetheless.
Sesshomaru watched the whole scene happen, his eyes locked on Kai. He knew everyone said to trust her, and perhaps they were right, but he felt like she was keeping some information from them. But he had no intention of chasing her away. After all, he had to be grateful for the help, and also she might be the only person able to guide him in retrieving his beast.
For now, he wouldn't say anything, but he would keep an eye on her.
"I should leave you all alone. I'm sorry again for the unannounced entrance."
Kagome immediately shook her head. "No, no it's fine. I mean, we just didn't know. But you should stay."
Kai shook her head. "It's fine, I have my business to attend to but…" she paused as she reached out for a card in her purse. Once she pulled it out, she handed it to Kagome. "You can call me if you need me."
"I'll walk you to your car," offered Kouga as he slid into the conversation.
"Thank you," said Kai as she slowly backed away from Kagome.
She allowed herself to quickly glance at Sesshomaru. She offered him a quick nod, but she didn't expect him to return it. He was so distrustful. Then again, she could see there were not many reasons for him to trust strangers. One day perhaps he would learn that sometimes people just did things without expecting anything in return.
Kai slowly exited the room, followed by Kouga.
Though Kagome had many things on her mind, she couldn't help but watch the two of them leave. Two wolves together. She couldn't stop the smile that reached her lips; Kai could be good company for Kouga.
"The last shard."
The sound of Sesshomaru's voice almost made her jump, as she didn't expect him to talk. She turned around and glanced at shard in her hand. "Do you think I can do it?" she asked, before peering up and looking right into his eyes.
He wanted to be as reassuring as Kai had been, but he wasn't sure he could do that. "I believe that you will know when you're ready."
Sesshomaru spun around, heading for the crib trying to avoid more conversation. He knew everyone was grateful, and he didn't want to rain on their happiness. He simply didn't trust many people. Gently he put his son down in the crib, covering him with his blanket.
Never before had he held him for so long. But never before had he felt so at peace for such a length of time.
His son was powerful he could tell even if he was unable to feel his aura and that made him feel proud. At least he had done one thing right.
Kagome decided to keep the shard in the pouch. She placed it in one of the drawers, under her clothes. She didn't want it near the almost completed jewel because she was not ready to assemble it. Not only did she not know if she was ready to make a wish, but she also had no idea what she could wish for. It had to be selfless, and lately all she had felt like was selfish.
Could she come up with the right thing?
She didn't know if she had that much faith in herself.
-B-
The day had gone by, and the night had almost fallen but Kagome had found no rest. She was aware that she was not the only one with problems and concerns; Sesshomaru's lack of emotion was a proof of that, but she couldn't chase away her own failure. Not being able to complete the jewel was killing her.
It was true that perhaps it was worth a try, and maybe she should attempt it, but what if the completed dark jewel was too much for her to handle? She could be engulfed… and who knew what kind of beings the jewel would attract! With Sesshomaru unable to defend anyone, she refused to take the risk.
She knew very well that the reason why they were here was to get the last shard and complete her task, but she couldn't.
And thus, because of her, it was being dragged on and on.
"Stop blaming yourself."
Sesshomaru echoed through her mind, and allowed her to pull herself away from her thoughts. She sighed heavily as she turned around slightly to face him. "I know, but I can't help it."
He didn't wish to be bold but he closed some of the distance between them anyway. Sesshomaru approached the window and leaned against it, watching her trying not to fall into deep thoughts. She worried a lot, and she took on a lot of responsibility she didn't need to.
"Why don't you trust Kai?"
It was easy to tell he didn't trust the woman, which was strange considering she had helped him.
"It's not that I do not trust her. I simply do not believe one would do something like this without a reason."
Kagome shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe she just wants the jewel gone."
After all, the jewel was poison and when you didn't want it for your own gain, shouldn't you desire for it to be destroyed? It brought nothing but pain and misery to everyone she knew.
"Wait; of course she wants it gone. Didn't she lose her father because of Naraku? All he wanted was the jewel."
Naraku's selfish desires had taken Kai's father from her. Kagome had lost people in the past and she could understand the pain it brought. Maybe Kai was trying to make sure nobody else would die in the fight for the jewel.
Sesshomaru wasn't familiar with the fight Kouga had talked about, or the whole story, but Kagome seemed to be. If she said such thing had happened, then he could perhaps understand why Kai had done what she did. But it proved his point that nothing was done out of pure selflessness. Something had happened to make her do this.
Unconsciously she leaned in onto Sesshomaru, resting her head on his chest. She was nervous and afraid; Sesshomaru was all she had. Yes, she was afraid of certain steps they might take in the future, but she knew he wouldn't do it without her consent.
Plus he was now like her; empty trying to fill himself.
"Lie to me."
He raised an eyebrow, a bit confused. "What do you want me to lie about?"
"Tell me I can do it."
Yes he believed in her, and told her that when she was ready she'd know, but she wanted to hear him say she could do it whenever. That she had it in her to fight whatever darkness had taken hold of her heart. She wanted to be better than it.
"You can do it."
He wouldn't lie to her. He wouldn't tell her unless it was true. Sesshomaru knew that deep inside Kagome had all she needed to be herself again. But, he was also aware that it was a difficult thing to do.
Kagome pressed her lips together and sighed. "Thank you."
Being trapped in your own body wasn't a good feeling, and it was getting old. She had been used and traumatized, she couldn't deny it, but did she have to let it run her life? She couldn't be scared of the world forever. Slowly she turned around, and rested both of her hands on Sesshomaru's chest. Gently, Kagome looked up in his eyes, before closing the distance between them.
He felt her soft lips against his and it reminded him much of what had happened the previous day. Without thinking, he cupped her face with his hands, bringing her even closer to him. As desperate as it sounded, she was all he had. He lost it all, and he found it all in her.
Their kiss went on a bit longer before Kagome finally pulled away and buried her face in his chest. She was no longer embarrassed by it, but sometimes she did feel a bit uncomfortable especially if she was the one to initiate it. She smiled softly at him before pulling away and sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Life works in mysterious ways sometimes."
"Doesn't it always?" he inquired leaning his head to the side.
She shrugged her shoulders. "Everything is connected isn't? And things happen for a reason."
"Me falling down the well. The jewel coming out of me, going to the feudal era. You learning a few things, and Rin." She paused for a second. "I think she saved you… and didn't you save her?"
Sesshomaru nodded. "I brought her back to life after…" He almost slipped up. He had almost told her that Kouga's wolves had killed Rin. Sesshomaru had no intention of telling her that bit of information. It was in the past when things had been different and he didn't want it to change the view she had of one of her dear friends. "After she was killed."
Kagome quickly nodded, before a realization was bestowed upon her. "Wait, you brought her back to life correct?"
A bit perplexed he nodded; wasn't it that what he had just said?
Kagome began to breathe a bit faster as she put the pieces together. "So if you hadn't saved her, she would have been dead, right?"
Sesshomaru knew that Kagome was usually a logical girl, and he didn't understand why she was asking questions then she already knew the answer to. Nonetheless, he answered. "Correct."
She brought a hand to her chest as she took a deep breath. "So if you hadn't brought her back to life, I would have never existed."
His lips parted and then he closed his mouth only to open it again. The phrase she had uttered earlier saying that everything was connected couldn't have been more right. He had also thought he had chosen to save Rin, but clearly he hadn't. Sesshomaru had been meant to save her. Kagome's presence in the Feudal Era had been a clear evidence of that.
Rin had just been destined to be on his path, and he had just been meant to save her.
Was life already all intertwined… did they never truly have a choice?
Sesshomaru was the reason her life had changed, yet he was the reason she was alive. Her perspective on the whole situation had shifted and frankly she was a bit confused. He was her savior in a way but at the same time he was the one who had taken her life. Didn't they cancel each other out?
Her heart hammered in her chest as she rose to her feet. Somehow it felt as if she had always meant to be in Sesshomaru's life. If her life was linked to his back when he had saved Rin, didn't that mean that somehow they were always meant to come across each other?
This whole time, she thought it had all been a mistake, but perhaps she had been wrong.
"I don't know what to say," she finally said, almost chuckling.
Sesshomaru had known for a while that Kagome and Rin were related yet that realization had never hit him. Before he knew what he was doing he walked in her direction, and put his hand on the back of her head. Quickly he pressed his forehead to hers, and breathed out. What was he supposed to say? He couldn't apologize, because the situation didn't require it, and he was too speechless to think of anything else to say.
"I guess we were always meant to be," she said half meaning it, half joking.
"For that I'm sorry."
He wanted to be the one for her, the one who could heal her even though he had hurt her. But, he still felt like he didn't deserve her. He gently caressed her hair before pressing a soft kiss against her forehead. He didn't want to kiss her, because he felt turned upside down inside.
"Nothing you need to apologize for. Apparently, I need to thank you for the fact that I'm alive."
"I think many things happened in the past that erase the need for you to thank me."
She smiled a bit. "I guess."
Sometimes life worked in mysterious way. Maybe she just had to go along with it since she didn't always know what was best for her. Since what had happened in the Feudal Era she had been making sure she didn't take any risks. But apparently it was all the risks and chances they had all taken in the past that made the present what it was.
She was scared of emptiness and of what she didn't know. Maybe it was time for her to scare herself to death. It was time to jump with no promise of being caught. This time, she had to take the step into the emptiness and risk everything. It would most likely hurt, and she would probably cry, but maybe in the end it would be all worth it.
Kagome raised her hands, and rested them on his cheeks, glancing right into his amber eyes. He looked so much like the old Sesshomaru, but she had to stop making the distinction. Sesshomaru was Sesshomaru no matter what was inside of him or no matter what he looked like.
"I wanna fall."
Sesshomaru frowned slightly not understanding what she meant. "Fall?"
She nodded before bringing him into a deep kiss. She ran her fingers through his hair and pressed her body tightly against his. Maybe if she felt more than ever, even though not all of it would be good, maybe it would help. She felt completely foolish because she might end up hurting herself more, and she might also bring pain to Sesshomaru in the process, but she didn't know what else to do.
If they followed everything, they were linked to each other.
Maybe there was no other way around it.
She had been close to Sesshomaru before and it hadn't hurt her. Yes, she had been a bit afraid and a few tears had been shed, but it hadn't been completely unpleasant.
Yes, she would throw herself into the unknown, and she wouldn't stop herself.
Sesshomaru had been there for her, and he had sacrificed a few things just for her sake. Why did she keep pulling away, why did she keep herself locked inside her own heart? The darkness was only ruining her, even preventing her from doing her duty.
Maybe the only way to face the somberness within was to face it head on.
She allowed herself to wrap her arms around his neck, as she felt him put his hands on her hips. She knew he was terrified of doing something to hurt her, meaning he wouldn't do anything unless she did it first.
Kagome had no idea where this was heading, and she'd probably back off eventually when the pain in her heart would be overwhelming, but for now, she would remain close to him. Her heart fluttered and her guts twisted in both anticipation and nervousness.
Sesshomaru felt like she wanted him to guide her, but he didn't know to where. He didn't want to damage her any further, but he didn't know what she wanted from him. If it went too far he might lose her.
But if she allowed him near her like this, he wouldn't turn her down. She was his, and the pulsing mark on her neck was proof of that. He wouldn't lose her again.
She might need him to fall, but he needed her to catch him.
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Blood Stained