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In a Blue Moon	By : NihilEtNemo Category: InuYasha > Yaoi - Male/Male > InuYasha/Sessh?maru > InuYasha/Sessh?maru Views: 15599 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter Seven

Broken Moon

“Father…”

My god smiles at me and sits on the side of my bed. I am not yet one hundred and fifty years old – by humans’ standards, I would be around twelve or thirteen. I sit against the headboard of my large bed, my feet under me, as he looks me over with that look in his eyes that I love to see there, because it means that he has come back to me, to be with me, again.

“So beautiful…” he murmurs, and I feel my pale skin color slightly in the moonlight. As it does every time he says it to me. just once, I wish I could be brave enough to tell him that it is not I who is the beautiful one… but I am not that courageous. “Undress.”

I do as I am told, swiftly removing my light kimono and folding it neatly, before setting it on the floor. I feel Father watching me, and I know he likes what he sees. I hope he likes what he sees, he always has before… but there has been something happening to me. I’ve seen stripes on my skin, like Father has. I thought I would always look like Mother – almost exactly like Mother – and I am glad for these stripes that remind me of Him, make me look even a little like him. His stripes are jagged, though, and a purple color, and mine are much closer to pink, and smooth. They are ugly, compared to His, but it is better than not having them at all.

I glance at him nervously, and see him watching me impatiently. I quickly turn back to face him, sitting on my knees again, looking up into his eyes. My hair tickles my feet as it brushes against them.

“Why do you meet my eyes, sochi?” he asks, not angry, but I know I need to have a good reason.

“I wished to ask you a question, chichiue-sama.”

“Ask it.”

“My stripes, chichiue-sama – I was wondering about them.”

He smiles a little, and the room seems much brighter all of a sudden. “They mean that you are maturing, Sessho-maru. For this, I want you to do something else for me tonight.”

I look at him with polite curiosity. Usually I only use my mouth on him as he desires, though there are sometimes other things, but he has told me there is more for when I am older and can enjoy it as well. He has never told me any more, however, and I do not wish to anger him by asking.

He kisses me, his pointed teeth pulling my mouth open and his long tongue quickly forcing its way into my mouth as I make no effort to resist. As he has told me over and over, I am his, and I do as he wishes… and I understand completely. I would not disobey my Father no matter what he asked or commanded, and it is my greatest pleasure to serve him as I do. I am grateful he keeps returning to me, for it means that I have continued to please him. If he ever failed to return… I know that the failure would be on my part, and I think such a thing might kill me…

He pulls away. “Lay down.” I obey without question, and do as I am told when he tells me to lie on my stomach. I am puzzled, but I wait patiently. I have had his assurances that he will not hurt me and that I will enjoy this, so I do not fear…

He undresses and lays his clothes on the chair, then I feel him back on the bed behind me. I do not look; that is a rule. I am not allowed to look unless I have permission. Even normally I rarely meet his eyes, but especially now and here. I do not wish to anger him and make him leave me – I hope he never leaves me. I could not bear that.

I feel his hands on my back, slowly sliding down. They go over the new stripes on my hips, and I stifle a gasp. That felt so… different. But good. I want to ask what that was, but I dare not, only hoping to feel it again. I feel him smile at my reaction. One claw slides down my spine, pushing my smooth hair out of the way, trailing lightly over the skin and making me shiver. It does not stop but slides further down still, over the end of my spine and tailbone, slipping between the two halves of my rear; I gasp again when I feel the claw trace the edges of the orifice there. I have to wonder – what does this mean? And why does it feel so good? I am not afraid… but I am not confident, either.

I do not know what he means to have me do for him this night…

Pain! Father, what –? His claws is inside me, scratching me and drawing blood. It hurts, not only the scratching but the fact that it is there at all – I do not enjoy this. I do not know why he thought I would! I try to pull myself away, to make him see that it hurts…

“Sit still, boy.” His voice is calm and expressionless, and I obey without thinking, stopping my feeble attempts at escape. I rest my forehead on my arms again, breathing evenly and trying not to show my discomfort.

“Father…”

“No talking. Just stay put. You’ll like this.”

No, I do not think I will… but I obey. If I can please him, I will enjoy that, at least.

His finger continues moving inside of me, drawing more blood that I can smell and feel. It hurts… does he enjoy this? I suppose he must. I wish he would stop. And then – he does… he pulls it away, at least, and I hope that he is done, he will begin something far more enjoyable. Perhaps he was only teasing me – he does that sometimes.

Then there are two – two! Two claws tearing at me, and I do not think that they were meant to fit there, because I can feel his fingers stretching and it hurts more than I thought it would. I suppress a very undignified whimper – he would punish me for that, because he does not like me to seem weak, but sometimes I cannot help it, especially when I am not enjoying what he tells me I should – I am doing something wrong, and it hurts me when it should be pleasure. I am unworthy, and I try to make myself enjoy it, but sometimes it still hurts. I will enjoy this – I must! He says that I will, so if I do not it is because I am doing something wrong. So I must enjoy it, and then I will be strong enough to please him.

He spreads his two fingers apart and adds a third one. I cannot hold in the whine this time. I feel his claws in my back, digging into the soft spot between my shoulder blades. My punishment for being weak. He is helping me, teaching me to be strong. “Arigatou, chichiue-sama…” I breathe. His claws squeeze once more and pull away, and the scent of my own blood is strong in the air, almost enough to choke me. But I must not choke – I enjoy this too. I must learn to enjoy it, because I enjoy everything he gives to me…

He pushes his three fingers all the way into me, and I do not whine this time. I bite my tongue to keep it in. It hurts… it is so much more painful than even most of his punishments. And it feels to very strange – they move and twitch, and he spreads them apart, making it hurt even more… but he said I would enjoy it. So I must be doing something wrong – but if I close my eyes and make myself believe it, then I can enjoy it instead, like I am supposed to.

He pulls his fingers out and I sigh. Is it over? Try as I might, I could not make myself enjoy it… I hope he does not realize. I tried, Father, I did try…

Then his fingers are replaced. It is not over – his fingers are out of me, but he has filled me with himself, his member that I know so well. It has never seemed larger – it is splitting me apart! It is too big, and I will never enjoy this… But I must. I should be liking this. It is my own fault I am not. He will punish me if he realizes that I do not enjoy it as I should, because there is something wrong with me. I stay still and silent as he commanded.

But it hurts, Father… so much!

“Good boy…” he murmurs, and I feel a warm glow inside me at his praise, despite the pain. I am pleasing him – I am doing something right, then. Suddenly, the pain is that much less intense. I can relax slightly, which I realize lessens the pain, and I take a deep breath and try to force my body to relax completely. I will enjoy this, as I am supposed to…

“You feel good, boy…” I am not quite sure what he means, but it is still praise, and it doesn’t feel so bad anymore. He moves and shoves himself further into me, tearing me further, splitting me more… But I am supposed to enjoy this, and I do not flinch or cry out, though I want to. I swallow a mouthful of blood from my bitten tongue. It still hurts… It hurts very badly. I feel as though I will die, but I know he would not hurt me, so it is because I am too young or because I am too small or because I am too inexperienced and I do not know what I am supposed to do, to make myself enjoy this. I will learn, though.

It feels better as he moves back, pulling himself out of me. And then I am so full again that it hurts, like he is far too big and I am going to break because of it. Why am I so small? If I were bigger, I could fit him better, and I could please him better… I will be big enough someday…

Faster… he’s moving faster. It hurts, but the blood makes it easier, makes it hurt less, even if it makes me choke. Then I suddenly feel a great wave of pleasure, like when he touched my stripes but a little stronger, and I must be doing it right now – it still hurts a lot, so much, but every time he fills me again I feel that pleasure, so I must be doing it right, whatever it is that I’m doing. And I hear little grunts from behind me. I realize that they mean he’s pleased; he pulls my hips up until I’m on all fours like a dog, and he pushes into me harder and fills me more. I whine, and not all from the pain.

His claws draw down my back, scratching me. I do not enjoy this, either, but I should, and I try to make myself. The pleasure almost makes me forget the pain; but that is not good enough. I need to enjoy the pain. Like he tells me I should. He says I will enjoy it, and then I feel pain; I need to enjoy the pain…

“Father…” I whimper.

“Shut up,” he says quietly, and pushes himself so hard into me, so fast… I should not have spoken, I knew that. My apologies…

I cannot speak, anyway, as he does it again. I do not know which is stronger; the pain, or the pleasure. They go together now. They belong together. Pain is pleasure and pleasure means pain…

I am suddenly filled by something new, by his seed as he groans and his claws dig deep into my hips, gouging into my stripes. Pain and pleasure, so much of each… I feel my own member twitch as they both suddenly overwhelm me and I release just after him. He was right, as I knew he would be, when he said I would enjoy it. He has never lied to me. He never will. I trust him… I love him…

He quickly pulls himself out of me and flops down on the bed, allowing me to fall from my shaking arms beside him. I hurt… but I like it. I curl up next to him, still not meeting his eyes, with the smells of blood and sex all around me. He licks my blood from his claws and I nuzzle into his neck, purring. I feel him smile again, and he pets my hair. “My beautiful little pet…” he murmurs. I smile shyly, glad that he cannot see it, and purr until I fall asleep.

* * * * *

“Why’d you think I was Father?”

“Hm?” I slowly open my eyes to find myself with Inuyasha, no longer human. His friends are still asleep all around us, and I close my eyes again and just enjoy the feeling of being with him.

“You called me ‘chichiue-sama’,” he says. “I was wondering why.” His hand runs through my hair.

“I was dreaming of him.”

He says nothing, at first, for nearly long enough for me to forget what we were talking about. “Do you dream about him a lot?” he finally asks.

“I did. Before you and I began this. I think of him less now. You are very much alike, however.”

“You said that before, too. I still don’t know what you mean. I’ve never heard that I was anything like him.”

I open my eyes again and sit up, inspecting him for a moment before I answer. “You look more like him than I do – especially when your demon blood takes hold and your stripes appear, for they are all but identical.”

“Okay…”

“You are both very powerful, and you make me as… happy… as he did.” I do not know why the two seem to go together, but they do. Power, and happiness. Or perhaps… the fact that they both have power over me, and make me happy…

He seems slightly confused. “Father made you happy? That’s a new one. I kind of thought he was a jerk.”

I blink slowly at him, fighting with warring emotions. I do not want to hear Inuyasha speak that way of him. But I do not wish to speak against Inuyasha. I am confused – and I hate to be confused. I avoid the whole situation and ignore the emotions, and they subside as I speak again. “Though I do not know why you would do so, you have both tried to tell me that I am beautiful. You actually seem to believe it, though if you had known him I doubt you would say such a thing.”

“Sessho-maru…” he says, looking troubled. I wonder what is bothering him.

“Yes?”

He shakes his head as though trying to clear it. “Nothing. There’s no way you meant that like it sounded.”

“Very well.” I sit back against his shoulder once more, silent for a moment, looking at his people. His followers. His family. Then I turn my head and lick his neck softly as he continues to stroke my hair. “But he was always gone in the morning. And, of course, of all the times we were together, he never lost control enough to mark me.”

He clenches his hand in my hair suddenly and throws me to the ground. Why? What did I say? I look up at him in surprise – he is standing now, glaring down at me. “That’s disgusting, Sessho-maru!”

“What?” I do not understand – why is he acting like this? What did I do wrong?

He is staring at me with a revolted look on his face, scrubbing his hand on his pants. As though I am dirty. As though I have contaminated him.

I stand, facing him. He takes a step back, looking sick, as his friends begin to awaken, the huntress standing first, everyone else not far behind. I ignore them. “Inuyasha, what are you talking about? I have done nothing–”

“Stay away from me, Sessho-maru. Just… stay away. Don’t come near me.” He backs away again. I do not move, only look at him. What is going on? Why is he suddenly disgusted by me? And how can I make it stop? I do not want him to hate me – if you cannot love me, at least do not hate me…

“Please, Inuyasha…” My voice is almost… pleading… but I co not care. Even before these humans. Please, Inuyasha, do not leave me like this, without even an explanation. Not you too…

“Go away, Sessho-maru.” He does not even look at me. Why will he not even look at me? Am I that disgusting – without even knowing it? “I’m sorry I marked you, just go away.”

Is that what this is about? “Inuyasha, I meant nothing by it. I was only stating the truth. I did not mean to imply anything negative about you – I meant nothing more than I said. Father–”

“Just go away! Get out of here!” he yells suddenly. His teeth and claws are bared now, as though for a fight. “You’re disgusting and I can’t believe I ever touched you! Now get out of my sight!”

If that is what he wants… I must obey. He looks as though he will attack me if I do not obey, and I close my eyes for a moment in submission to his will and turn away. Why – why does he hate me now? Nothing has changed. What could have dirtied me so much in such a short period of time?

I have no idea where I am going. Where should I go? Back to my castle? I doubt that would be a good idea. Within a few days I should likely destroy the place and kill everyone within. Inuyasha has not given me the final bite, of course, so it is possible for me to survive being denied and sent away… but I am not wholly certain that I wish to. Rin and Jaken are safe where they are and may never learn of my death at all, or if they do it may not be for years to come. Jaken could protect them better now than I could anyway. I am little use to anyone anymore, weaker than my hanyou brother, unmated and unable to be mated to anyone but him, utterly at his mercy should we ever meet again – and more so if we never meet again. And he knows all of this. He knows what he is doing to me. He knows that sending me away could kill me – could very likely get me killed because of my weakness or by my own hand at never being able to see him again. He knows how this works, and if he does not understand his friend the hunter can tell him. And yet he does it. I have become so sickening that he once more desires my death, and yet this time is too cowardly to kill me outright. And so I must do that as well…

I despise you, Inuyasha.

I love you, but I have my suspicions that that feeling is solely because of the mark you have almost given me. No, it is not – I am truly hurt by this, but that is faint and dull compared to the emotions that this mark inspire. I do not understand why you are treating me this. If this is how you wish to treat me… very well. I will not defy you. I will not ask you why. I will never see you again.

But I will never forgive you if I do not.

“What a treat…”

I glance toward the shadows under the bamboo. Of course it is none other but Naraku, in his baboon pelt, hunched on the ground; I cannot see his face, but he is unmistakable nonetheless. Who else that I have ever met, after all, wears the skin of a primate and dares speak to Sessho-maru this way?

“I have no patience to deal with you, Naraku.”

I can feel him smile, just as I could feel Him smile… “Ah, but you have not the strength to send me away either. I can sense it – we can all sense it. You’re lucky it was me who found you, and not some lower beast who wanted no more than to kill you and feed on your power – what little you have left.”

“You have other plans for me then, Naraku? I decline.” I walk forward again, not sure why I even stopped. I have not looked at him, but I should have kept walking. I could have been past him by now.

“Oh, but I do have plans for you, Lord Sessho-maru.” Is he mocking me? I should kill him. But here is the problem; he is quite right. I cannot kill him. I have been too weakened by Inuyasha and the mark on my neck. Which no longer means anything. “This is quite a treat, as I said… to find you, of all demons, walking through my territory in this state, weakened and vulnerable… I almost didn’t recognize you, with such weak youki and without your stripes…” He moves through the bamboo to be alongside me again, as I continue walking. “And with a Mark… I suppose you refuse to tell me whose it is?”

I do not answer. It is none of his business at any rate, and Inuyasha wanted no one to know. I suppose his greatest enemy is likely not one of the few people he would ever consider telling.

“I thought not. Not that it matters – what matters to me…” He moves again, and is crouched slightly ahead of me, still talking. “Is that it’s obvious he no longer wishes to claim you. Why else would you be walking with such an air of melancholy… alone… and three-quarters mated, when any demon would know that you are at your absolute weakest? Whatever you’ve done, you displeased him greatly… And you won’t have very long to pay for it. If I don’t do it now, as you’re well aware, as soon as you step out of my area of influence, you’ll be taken and killed by the nearest youkai…”

“Then leave me to it.”

He smiles again. He is suddenly behind me, and I stiffen at the feeling of arms wrapped gently around my waist from behind, because they do not belong to Inuyasha…

“I didn’t actually know for sure if it was going to be possible, you know. I always hoped, but I wasn’t going to do anything, because I didn’t know… which is why this is such an incredible stroke of luck. What are the odds you would manage to drive away your lover, when it was finally obvious that it could be possible.”

“What are you speaking of?”

He sounds surprised. He is playing with me. “Why, to have you. To claim you. I’ve wanted you for a very long time – who wouldn’t? You’re beautiful. You’re perfect. It’s really too bad someone else has already taken and broken that legendary strength – I thought that would be one of the best parts, personally. But I’ll take what I can get…”

“Kill me now, hanyou, if you intend to do anything at all to me. My death is all you will be getting from me.”

“I don’t think so.”

“I will kill myself, rather than mate with you.”

“Then I suppose I’d better make sure that’s not an option…”

I growl and pull myself away from him, turning my claws to him. I will not mate with anyone against my will – if I can forget Inuyasha, I can believe that – and I will never desire Naraku. Never! I do not want anyone who is not my Inuyasha!

He smirks and moves aside. So close – my claws catch his pelt and tear half of it to shreds. It flutters to the ground, and before it has even hit the ground, he has smiled at me…

I smell the choking poison miasma, and raise my arm to shield my mouth and nose, backing away… it is too late…

I feel myself stumble backward. He shimmers before my eyes and blurs, as everything fades away…

Inuyasha…

~*~*~*~

A/N: Sorry if this disillusions anyone… All the while Sessho’s been believing in some fairy tale where his father was loving and gentle… and then it turns out like this. Well, this is more or less how I pictured it from the beginning – remember that bit about Inutaisshou telling him not to tell his mother? – but I had no idea really. I want to thank my reviewers, especially those who wanted some Inutaisshou action… this dream sequence never would have happened without them. ^_^ So, what do ya think about Naraku? I promised he’d be there!
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In a Blue Moon