Adult-FanFiction.org : Inuyasha / Yashahime

Enamored	By : Maddiesan Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Kouga/Kagome Views: 13037 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, and I do not make any money from these writings

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
A/N: Well, this is embarassing. I haven't updated this in over a year. I'm really sorry. I meant to keep updating both of my kougakag fic at the same pace but... I had a harder time with this one. Hopefully this chapter means it'll be easier from now on.
(It's very late, I'm very tired. I'll prolly look it over tomorrow. I apologize, and I know as an author I should strive to give you good chapters, you deserve it but I'm so exhausted that I'm at the point that if I don't post it like this, I'll never post it at all).
Enamored
Chapter 7: No Love
The sun was rising high in the sky, soft palettes of blue and orange mingling together to create a quiet glow inside the main den. By that hour, most of the wolves were out and about, ready to hunt and kill today's meal. Some of them were lingering, waiting around the leader's den. No noise came to their ears throughout the night and they could not help but wonder if everything went alright. Their leader usually kept them posted but they also knew that he wish to remain by his beloved's side. Even if not everyone agreed with his choice, they remained concerned for the one that was their alpha. Nobody was willing to betray him.
Ginta and Hakkaku were the ones who remained the closest to the den. In fear that their little sister might require something, they never ventured too far. Although, the many sleepless nights they had lately were beginning to take their tolls. Their cheeks were no longer plump, their eyes no longer gleamed with excitement. Dark circles were painted beneath their irises, sunken cheeks decorated the rest of their faces. It was a cross they were willing to bear. Kagome put her life on the line for them and they could never pay her back. This was the less that they could do - and even that did not feel like it was much. Nonetheless, they did not want to fail to their duty. They would remain there, leaning against the copper colored rocks, their arms crossed in front of their pale chests.
Light had yet to find it's way into Kouga's den. Instead, darkness engulfed the sleeping pair. Kouga's chin was digging in Kagome's head, lost in her luscious dark locks. His own dark hair mingled with hers, going all the way to her shoulders and draping over her as a blanket would. His arms were wrapped around her carefully, careless rough hands brushing up against her skin while she remained tucked against his chest. There was a tiny gap between them, one that was big enough to keep her from applying any kind of pressure to her injuries. Sometimes, she tossed, the nightmares plaguing her from time to time. Memories of claws, of blood, memories of what felt like death. None of it allowed her a peaceful sleep. However, sometimes, when strong arms tightened around her waist, bringing warmth to her chest, they went away.
Stirring in her sleep, Kagome was the first to wake up. Her eyelids were heavy, difficult to open but she fluttered her eyelashes and managed to get them wide open. Blue orbs darted into the night before her vision slowly adjusted. She smacked her lips, trying to get rid of that dryness in her throat but all it did was crack her damaged lips further. She inhaled, not too deeply since she did not want to hurt her lungs, and then pressed her cheek further into the source of warmth. It did not take long for her brain to register and realize that the source of warmth was Kouga. A ping of panic traveled through her chest and she glanced up at the ookami. He was soundly asleep, the weight of his head pressing against her forehead now that she had shifted their position.
Oh.
She leaned backwards, then forward, trying to free her head but nothing worked. A furious red blush painted her cheeks and she lowered her head to hide her shame with her bangs. She remembered wanting to fall asleep this way. It was her only option to chase away the nightmares. Despite the fact that he remained somewhat of a stranger, he was all she had. She was alone in the past and if it were not for him, she would be dead. There was a panic, a need to not be alone. It was new and foreign but she held on to it.
"Kouga," she tried to whisper with a hoarse voice.
He did not move.
"Kouga."
She put a hand on his naked chest, feeling the sturdiness of his muscles as she tried to gather some strength to shake him out of his sleep. That seemed to work. He moved, his eyes slowly opening. He sniffled, his nose twisting around, and then he looked down at her. The look in her eyes snapped him to reality fairly quickly.
"Kagome? Are ya alright?"
She nodded. "I - hm," she tried to pull away from him, hoping he would understand what she was trying to say.
He shifted away slightly, putting some space between them, although one of his hands remained on her hip. "Did I hurt ya?" How could he fall asleep this soundly? He tried to remain awake and watch over her. He already hurt her once and he did not want to do it again. His features were twisted and crisped, as though he was experiencing a deep pain. His parted dark pink lips were trembling with each breathe he took while his deep blue eyes searched hers.
"I'm o-kay."
Relief showed on his face and he leaned back onto the den's rock wall. "Are you hungry? Thirsty?"
She shook her head. She was thirsty but she did not feel like moving or anything else at the moment. Plus, there was a part of her that still feared she was convincing Kouga he was right about her feelings for him. She did not love him. Actually there was no way he loved her. He did not even know her. Still, it was not fair of her to let him think she had more than… friendship in her heart.
"Kouga, ab-"
"Don't talk. You look better. Ya should save your energy." She truly looked healthier; her eyes were getting their glow back and her skin no longer was tainted by that shade of green. "Ya sure you don't need water?"
She nodded. "I - thank you for ta-king care of me."
"I told ya Kagome you're my woman."
"I'm not."
His head flinched back and his eyebrows squished together as he appeared to be processing what she was trying to tell him.
"I - " She had to draw the line now. She loved Inuyasha, not Kouga. "You're my friend."
He stared at her, disbelief completely hitting him. No, it did not make sense. He knew she left and he let her and maybe she thought she had feelings for Inu-trasha but… no, she courted him, she sought his warmth and she even let him - no, no. Wait. He said she was going to be his woman and then - he took care of her. He loved her and he would protect her.
"Kagome, I don't understand. I love ya."
"Kouga, you can't — " His expression shattered her heart, he looked awfully sad. "You don't know me."
That was a lie, he did know her. She was kind and valued her friends above anything else. She would risk her life for those she loved, she could see the jewel shards - and, and she dressed funny. Did Inuyasha know more than that? That idiot knew nothing about Kagome because if he did, he would treat her better and he would not be such a rude asshole around her. No, he did not love her.
"I do."
She tried to force a smile, which hurt more than anything else. "Kouga I -"
"You love that mutt."
He did not want to see it as the truth. It did not make sense. A part of him wanted to hear her say it but at the same time, he did not want to know. But she did not need to say it because he saw it in her eyes. It was there, the guilt, the fleeting glance; she could not look at him. She blushed and stared at him when he kissed her but now she could not look at him. He felt a ping in his heart as though someone was stepping on it, crushing it.
"He's just a no good mutt."
"He's s-weet," she defended. She knew not everyone could see Inuyasha's good side but - it was there. He was kind and he always looked after her even when he grumbled. Plus, she always got him back by sitting him through hell. It was fair.
His nostrils flared but he kept his mouth shut. He could see that it was difficult for her to talk and he did not want her to hurt herself because of that piece of shit Inu-trasha. He was not worth her pain. Although that did not mean that he was pleased with the way the conversation was going. It should not be like this and yet it was. Suddenly, feeling her so close to him was not as sweet as it was moments ago. He was suffocating, his lungs compressed while he desperately tried to fill them with air. He was not one to give up, he always went after what he wanted. It was one of the reasons why he managed to take lead of the tribe despite his young age.
"I'll get some water."
He promised Kagome she would be his and he thought he would change her mind about Inuyasha. Could he?
"K-kouga."
"I'll be back."
He delicately pulled himself away from her, making sure she rested against the wall so that she would not fall into the emptiness beside her. Then, he rose to his feet and all she could do was watch him leave. Her heart grew heavy, jolts of pain traveling in her chest as he left her side. She sunk her teeth in her bottom lip, holding a breathe. She hurt his feelings; it was obvious. She wished to be afraid, afraid he would leave her to her pain but she could not be. It would be selfish. She was not being nice to him because he was taking care of her, she was being nice because he showed her he was a good person. He cared for his own. He was a bit impulsive and reckless but he had a good heart - which was why she wanted to shatter his illusion as quickly as possible.
Except now she was alone.
She talked more than expected and she could feel the lining of her lungs burning, each intake of air setting fire into the organs. She closed her lips shut, hoping to less the damage. If only she could do something about the sharp pain in her side. All of this would be much easier if only she could walk on her own. At least she could probably eat by herself now…
No more accidental kisses.
The hue of red layered on her pale skin was a good indication of how she had no gotten over that moment just yet.
Her first kiss.
It might not have been with a man she loved… but it was with someone who thought he loved her…
Which was more than she could say about Inuyasha.
He protected her, he cared for her but - she was no Kikyo.
Those nightmares plagued her as well. There, in the midst of loneliness and death, she could feel the piece of her soul that was missing, the one keeping Kikyo alive.
What if Kikyo…made it out. What if - what if she became everything Inuyasha wanted?
She shook her head as tears began to puddle in her eyes. This was no time for such thoughts - she needed to focus on herself.
And her loneliness.
-E-
Hours went by and the sun settled high in the sky. Kouga got water but he never came back to the den. Instead, he stayed by the waterfall. Despite the strength of the water, he was still able to smell Kagome's scent. Shit, it was everywhere, it even permeated his skin. He was not convinced that he could ever get rid of it. That smell would drive him insane forever because he was afraid she might never love him.
He did not love her either at first. She was shrieking and annoying - and loud - and she was nothing but a mean to an end. And then, he saw her soul, he saw the goodness inside of her and everything changed. Kagome was devoted, loyal and much more than a way to find the jewel shards. It was a nice add-on but it was not all she was. And by the gods was she beautiful. He never truly looked at humans before but his Kagome was different. Her clothes were hard to explain but he did not care about those. Her hair - it was luscious and her skin sparkled while those legs of hers went on forever.
"Kouga?"
"What?" he barked back.
"Is sis alright?"
"Ask her."
Ginta frowned. "What do you mean?"
"I mean ask her yourself."
Despite Kouga's clear desire to be alone, Ginta scouted beside him, their knees brushing together as he plopped down. "What happened?"
He glared in direction of Ginta, catching his streak of dark hair from the corner of his eye. "She wants muttface."
"Inuyasha? Why!"
"I don't know!"
"Sis wouldn't want that half dog."
"Apparently she does."
"Well ya did say ya'd kill him next time you see him… just stick to that plan!"
"I can't."
As much as he wanted to see that stinking mutt's head ripped off from his body… it would not be worth it. Those actions would hurt Kagome too much and he could not risk it. Although it would solve all of his problems… no. He was not going to do that. There had to be another way. From the way he could smell Inutrasha on Kagome, they had been traveling together for a while. Maybe she was confused? He just needed a little more time. Surely he could convince her this was a good idea. He just - he needed a plan.
"You could be… you know… mm. Friends. With sis."
"Friends?"
"Yeah. She ain't with that jerk. They… I don't know what they are. But he ain't touched her so - maybe…"
"Friends…" he repeated, almost as if he was trying out the word to see if he liked it.
It was an option, he could try that. He could not believe that he would go from holding her in his arms, kissing her to… treating her like everyone else? He could not do that. He even proclaimed his love for her from the top of a mountain… Then again, the thought of losing her to the mutt was even worse. If it was what he had to do for his Kagome… then so be it.
"Fine, I'll be her … friend," he grumbled.
"That's the spirit," Ginta said before smacking him on the back.
Kouga eyed him sideway but he did not say anything. What was he supposed to do now? It was not like he could go back to Kagome; he said he would be back and he had yet to return to her side. He was hoping she fell asleep or perhaps, considering her love for Inuyasha, she never even noticed he went missing for so long. Maybe he was being childish about it. He was forward and obtained what he wanted every time he went for it. He was a strong demon, why should he not be able to get the girl?
"Is Miku around?"
"Ya old enough to deal with your girl."
Kouga almost jumped in surprise when he heard the old woman's voice. How long had she been there?
"I ain't gonna deal with her. That's your job. If ya wanna have a mate one day and keep her, you're gonna have to work on your skills."
"My skills are just fine."
She bursted out laughing, never even trying to attempt to shield her laughter from Kouga. "Ya got a lot to learn, kiddo." Miku leaned forward and ruffled his hair with her hand. He might be their leader but she would never stop seeing him like a little child. He might be an excellent alpha but it did not mean he should not hone some of his skills. He was a good kid at heart, he would figure it out one day.
"You can't just claim a woman like her."
Sometimes it was done, especially when the alpha was doing the claiming but - Kagome was not an ookami and the girl had fire, even as she was sick. Kouga was going to need a lot more than that.
"She don't know you, she don't trust you."
"She knows him," defended Ginta.
"How did ya meet the girl?"
"He kidnapped her," Ginta quickly supplied.
Miku rolled her eyes. "There ya go." She pressed her hands against her thighs, pressing down to help herself up. She was not getting any younger and all this stress was putting strain on her body. She was by no means old but the birds of paradise took their toll on everyone.
"Ya got good instincts, kid. What do they tell ya?"
He blinked, unsure what to believe.
"Run?"
He shook his head.
"Then stay in the fight."
She squeezed his shoulder, trying to give him some comfort. If someone could woo someone like Kagome, it was that knuckle head. Plus, she strongly believed that he indeed had a chance. The girl asked for him in her most desperate moment. She could have stayed with a strange woman or Kouga and she picked Kouga. Clearly it was because he brought her some sort of joy or peace of mind. He simply needed to quit being so impulsive.
Kouga watched Miko leave, almost frustrated that she was right. He hated losing and ever since Kagome used her low strength to proclaim her love for Inuyasha…he fell into a bitter mood. Regardless, Miku was right; he could not give up now. His guts told him that there was hope; Kagome courted him he was sure of it. Unless she pushed him away, he would stay by her side. A regain of energy sparked through him and he jumped back to his feet. The earth sunk beneath his weight, his toes digging into the brown mud. He needed to come up with a plan. What was a good plan? What if he did not return to her immediately? It was not like she was completely alone and if she bled, cried out to him, he would hear her in a second. At least, if he gave her some space he would know… if she missed him?
Plus, he technically still had a promise to fulfil. He had not found her friends, he had nothing to give her to bring back hope in her life.
Perhaps he could re-focus on that? It would keep his mind occupied.
"I'll be back."
Those were the last words he tossed at Ginta before speeding away and leaving a cloud of brown dust behind. Ginta coughed before watching him disappear into the forest.
Whatever Kouga had in mind, hopefully, he would be careful.
-E-
Night was nowhere near taking over the sky, although there was a hint of a white moon hiding into the depths of blues. The sun teased the horizon, brushing into the lower parts of the sky. The air was colder, breezes spreading through the trees and causing the leaves to ruffle, leaving a carpet of green and light orange upon the luscious grass. The different scents of the area were being thrown around, mingling with each other and making it quite difficult to follow only one. Footsteps were the only sound disturbing the area not too far from the den, despite the fact that it was protected by water and a grandiose waterfall.
"Inuyasha?"
No response.
"Inuyasha!"
"Whaddaya want?" he snapped back.
His nose was pressed into the ground, creating clouds of dust every time he took a step forward. His red fire rat robe was spread out around him, getting dirtier and dirtier by the minute. Inuyasha did not know why but he had a feeling Kagome was nearby. He had yet to catch a clear scent but it was a feeling deep inside his guts. His nose twitched, his nostrils flared and he finally raised his head.
"What is it?" he repeated, his temper still flaring.
Sango's eyes narrowed. She put her hands on her hips, tilting her waist forward, causing her ponytail to swipe left and right. "Did you get something?"
"She's here somewhere, I know it."
"You said that five times already," Miroku pointed out.
"If you hadn't pissed her off…"
"Shut up, rut."
"Don't call me that!"
"Enough you two," Sango said, cutting in. "Let's focus on finding Kagome… and Kirara." It was hard to miss the way her voice broke as she said her dear neko friend's name.
"We'll find them," Miroku confirmed, his eyes hardening with confidence, the purple in his orbs twinkling.
"This way," Inuyasha said before shoving his nose back then. He was about to follow the trail all the way to a big rock but suddenly, he came to a big stop. His ears raised on top of his head, white fluffy ears shifting left and then right. Then, it happened. He felt his heart sink and his stomach churned as a dreaded feeling took over his whole body. It was faint, but there was a voice, begging for help. He was certain there others could not hear it. How could they? He could feel their eyes on him, wondering what he was doing. There was only one problem; it was not Kagome's voice…and it was coming from a completely different direction than what his instincts were telling him.
Except this was a voice that he could not ignore.
He dug his claws into the earth, sending dirt flying around. His hands were completely clenched while the vein in his forehead nearly threatened to pop. Why did it always have to be one or the other? Why could it never be both? Each time a situation arose, he had to pick. Kagome should be in grave danger; they found blood. But - but Kikyo was begging for help… was she losing her body? Her soul? Fangs poke out of his lips, grazing the sensitive flesh. He began tapping his foot, his heart ready to split in two as his mind was covered by a cloud of confusion.
"Inuyasha? What is it?"
"Did you find Kagome?"
They wanted an answer, they were forcing him to choose. He inhaled deeply and then slowly stood up. His eyes lingered upon the big rock, a warmth spreading through his chest and causing it to rise up. Then, he tore his eyes away and tossed his glance in direction of the forest. His amber orbs glistened in confusion and finally, ashamed of even himself, he directed his eyes towards the ground.
"This way."
Nobody questioned him or his rather strange attitude and then began to follow as he slowly headed inside the forest. His speed was not as fast as before and he could not force himself to speed away from what could be Kagome's location. There was a lot of blood. If nobody found her by now… it might be too late already. Kikyo… Kikyo might still have a shot. And perhaps they could use Kikyo's power to find Kagome? It was not like he was giving up on her. He intended on coming up and continuing the search it was just that… kami he felt like a jerk. He wanted to help them both, they both counted on him… but she… she was calling out to him. How could he ignore her call and walk away?
His heart broke and he tore his eyes away from the sights in front of him.
He was lower than low and he was not quite sure how he was going to forgive himself for this one. She was in trouble because of him and now… but.. But he owed Kikyo so much. She also was in trouble because of him and that trouble cost her her life once and he could not let that mistake be repeated twice.
I'm sorry Kagome.
-E-
A groan.
Then a wince.
Then another groan.
Annoyed, Kagome sighed and leaned back again. Her tiny fingers were wrapped around the white bandage on her wound, spreading blood everywhere. She did not mean to make it worse, she simply wanted to see her injury. She had been quite out of it for a while and she never truly realized how bad it was. Although by the way it was nearly impossible to reveal the wound, she was beginning to think that all of this was an awful idea and that she was in a worse shape than anticipated. She exhaled small puffed breaths, hoping it would give her the courage she required - no such luck. She shoved her teeth in her bottom lip, breaking the skin in an instant, and then she pulled on the feeble fabric.
Blood spilled from her mouth but she ignored it. Instead, she kept ripping the bandage until finally, her injury was revealed to her. And she almost wished it had not. She could not control her expression of disgust as she glanced down at herself. Her top lip curled and she recoiled, dropping the bandage back into place. A nauseating scent filled her nostrils and she held her breathe as best she could. It was disgusting. There was dry blood clotting around the wound and some green pus oozing from the left edge. It could not be good…it had to be cleaned. Unfortunately for her, it was not something she could do on her own… and Kouga had yet to come back. Part of her was beginning to think he would never return. He promised but… she did hurt him. She did not mean to - as a matter of fact she rather hurt him now than later…
Except she was wrong.
"Kagome?"
Her head snapped up and she saw him standing in front of the entrance. "I smell blood," he explained.
"Bandages," she explained in as few words as possible.
His eyebrows burrowed and after what appeared to be much hesitation, he took a few steps in. The closer he got to her, the worse the smell got. He rubbed the back of his neck, untangling a few strands of his hair from his ponytail and his pupil dilated. The scent of blood was - not good but there was something else beneath all that. His eyes were squinted by the time he reached her side. He made sure to avoid all eye contact as he kneeled and began to look it over.
"It's getting infected."
She nodded in agreement. She was never going to take antibiotics for granted again. Never again. What wouldn't she give for a nice hospital? She would have been healed by now if she could have made it to the well.
His hands trembled, hovering over her wound while uncertainty took hold of him again. "Is it okay if I -?"
She nodded again.
He retrieved the brown clay vase that was near her feet and brought it close to her injury. Slowly, he dipped his hand in the cold water and recouped the cloth that was inside. He squeezed out the excess water and then gently press the light grey cloth against her injury. At first, it was not too painful but once he tried to get rid of some of the blood and the pus oozing around on her skin, she was forced to wince.
"Want me to stop?"
Kagome shook her head while keeping her eyes tightly shut. She knew it had to be done but it did not mean she was going to appreciate it.
"I'll go fast."
True to his words, he tried to keep up his pace while making sure he was not hurting her more than it was required. All of that time, his mind was running wild. He was better than before but what if it was not enough? Perhaps his people did not have the required skills to deal with her injury? Maybe there was someone else he could go to and obtain stronger plants. He would need to remember about that and asked Miku soon. He did not want Kagome to die from an infection. He saw what it did to humans; their skin would get pale, they would cough and cough until all that came out of their lungs was bright red blood. It was not the fate he wanted for the woman he loved and he would make damn sure it was not going to happen.
Once it was cleaned enough, he dropped the cloth into the vase, water splashing around. Then, he took the edge of the bandage and completely took it off. It was no used putting it back on, it was soiled. He never made eye contact with her, not even when he applied the new dressing. Meanwhile, Kagome barely moved, letting him take care of her without getting in his way.
"Thank you," she said once he was done.
He offered her a quick nod. He was too nervous to speak, too nervous to have a conversation with her. He did not want to screw it up. He had to show her he could be a good alpha male, that he could be everything she needed.
"Kouga - I'm sorry."
He waved his hand, dismissing her apology. She had enough to fret enough and he did not want for her to concern herself with him. He also wanted her to forget about his little moment of weakness. "Don't be. You're pack. I'm always gonna take care of you."
"But," she tried to argue, but he never allowed her to finish her sentence.
"It don't matter. You risked your life, your pack." The other ookamis did not accept her solely based on the fact that he proclaimed her his woman. They were grateful for what she did and they were returning the gesture. She risked her life for them and the return for that was for them to do the same thing.
He wanted to shut up, to stop digging a hole for himself but he could hardly help it. Kouga leaned his body forward, his muscular naked chest threatening to brush against the bare skin of her stomach. She remembered holding her breathe but all she could feel was the heat in her cheeks. He approached her until he was close enough to cup her cheek with his hand. "I'll tell ya one thing. That mutt doesn't love you."
She expected him to say more, to call her his woman or make another speech about undying love but he did not. He surprised her. Instead, he let his thumb brush against her cheek and then he pulled away, resuming his position away from her. There was a ghost of a smile forming on his lips as he grabbed the vase with both hands. "I'm gonna get fresh water," he said as he hopped to his feet. If he stayed close to her, he would want to feel her, touch her and hold her like he had been doing since he found her. Miku was right, he could not treat her as though she was just anyone else.
Once again, Kagome never had a chance to say anything. It was as though he never wished to let her speak. Perhaps he did not want to hear her words? Or did he want her to spare herself the pain? Regardless of the reason, nothing was said. Instead, she was left sitting there while he got out and away from her. She raised a hand, her fingers stretched out, and she wanted to change her mind, she was ready to stop him but the words never made it past her lips. His strut was confident and she felt like she did not have the right to ask him to stay, not after what she told him earlier. In place, her hand remained into the emptiness, her fingers folding on themselves until he was completely gone and she found herself… Alone.
Alone again.
She wrapped an arm around her body, trying to warm herself up. All of that shivering was not helping her with her pounding headache. It was cold with her shirt lifted and her skin remained damp from the cold water he used to clean her injury. She looked out the entrance of the cave, a part of her waiting for Inuyasha to emerge through. He had to be looking for her. He had to know she was injured and he was probably sniffing the whole damn place trying to locate her. He did not know Kouga rescued her meaning he would not stop until he found her. He would not leave her to die by herself in this era… right?
Despite her high hopes, she was starting to lose faith.
What was taking him so long?
And what was that nagging feeling, deep inside her heart?
-E-
- 6
- 7
- 8
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