Kagome's Blue Light | By : Earthnfarie Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Kagome > Sessh?maru/Kagome Views: 9813 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha nore do I profit from the writing of this. |
Kagome was laying on the couch watching T.V. and trying not to think of Sesshomaru. Since their “little” tif things had been completely normal, and it was driving her crazy. Sesshomaru had treated her as if nothing had happened, but had been pushing her harder in training. He wanted her to reproduce the attack that she had thought she had killed him with, but she hadn’t been able to. Then yesterday he announced that she would have today to relax. She knew it was because the Rin was to be in tomorrow, and he wanted everything perfect for her. Kagome had been avoiding Sesshomaru all day, which wasn’t hard to do.
Kagome sighed and set the remote down. Nothing on T.V. was interesting at the moment. She got up and went into the kitchen. Sesshomaru’s chef asked if she wanted anything, and she told him no. She rummaged in the fridge, and pulled out something to drink setting it on the island. She turned around to see the chef getting her a glass already. She smiled at the woman, and poured herself some of the liquid. The chef took the jug, and put it away for her. Kagome was about to pick up her glass when something hit her legs from behind. She nearly fell, and had to pry the child from her to look at it. When she held the child up and gazed at it she gasped and nearly dropped it in her surprise. “My! Oh, you look just like…”
“Mama?”
Kagome whirled around at the oh-so- failure voice. She stared in disbelief. The man came up to her, took the child from her arms and set it down. Kagome struggled to find her voice. “Shippou?”
“Yes mama, I’ve missed you.” He said, and then grasped her in a tight hug. Kagome clutched onto him, and began to cry.
Rin stood in the doorway watching with a smile on her face. “She needed this more than either of you know.” She said to the other silent observer. Then she went to situate her children. Sesshomaru watched her go, and looked back at the two in his kitchen. He knew he needed to talk to Kagome about what had happened, but he wasn’t ready yet. He wondered if he would ever be ready. He turned and went to finish some business before dinner.
**-** After dinner Kagome and Shippo sat in the gardens watching the children play. They had talked about him and his life now with Rin, his job, and so much more, but neither had spoken of the past, and what had happened. Shippo understood that in many ways Kagome didn’t want to know, nor could he blame her, but he knew there was something he did have to tell her.“You go back.” He said with his eyes on his children wrestling. Kagome didn’t ask, and he knew what he was talking about. “It won’t be for a long time, but you do, once. It was- will be- hard for you. Things didn’t come out as perfect as you would have hoped. You will be just in time to comfort Sango in her moment she will need you the most, and then you will never come again.”
“Why are you telling me this Shippo?”
“When you came back, you told me thank you for warning you. I think it was your way of tell me that I will warn you; I will do what I am now.” He looked at her face, and saw it was unreadable. “Kagome… Inuyasha will try to keep you there.”
Kagome looked at him with the question on her lips, but she didn’t ask it. Instead Kagome nodded. “Please excuse me Shippo.” She said as she rose. She walked away, and then when she knew Shippo couldn’t see her she broke into a run. She leapt over the wall, and continued to run. She stopped on a hill, and watched the sun setting. “I’ve been afraid to ask.”
Sesshomaru stayed where he was. “Do you want to know?”
Kagome knew he had followed her. He had been watching her and Shippo. “I’m not sure. In so many ways I do, but in so many more…” She felt silent. “I’m not sure if I’m ready.”
“When you are ready Kagome…”
Kagome was silent a long time. Then she turned to the most fear demon lord in all of Japan. She watched the sun set cast golden rays on him, and watched how he watched her. She looked at her hands- her claws, and realized she had never real thought about what she was now. She had been too busy learning, too busy falling in love. “They wanted me to be an abomination. They wanted me to know what kind of contradiction I was.”
“You are not an abomination.”
Kagome looked up to him. “A miko youkai? How could I not be? I remember killing so many. I remember hellish battles. I’ve killed mothers with no regard for their young. I have killed so many just like me now. I know how deadly youkai can be. I remember being wounded. I am what I was to protect against.”
“Kagome you’re not making sense.”
“Sesshomaru… I remember being in a cave with you when you were a child. Your father- I knew him well- he asked me to watch you-”
Sesshomaru stepped forward. “How can you know of such things?” He asked a little harsher than he intended.
Kagome smiled weakly at him. “Inuyasha was a fool. Even as Inuyasha’s wish meant well it was not completely unselfish, and so the demons of the jewel got their say in the results of his wish. They thought it would be entertaining if Midoriko’s reincarnation would be made the antitheses of what she was and remember what it was to be a warrior miko.” Kagome echoed the words that she remembered speaking and being spoken to her.
Sesshomaru stared at her. Then he turned away, and went back to his home.
**-**
Kagome stood in the doorway watching him. He was staring at something on his desk, and she didn’t know what. She had never tread in his study always viewing it as his sanctuary. She didn’t want to disturb him, but she felt there was something still unsaid between them. She couldn’t rest as long as she felt that way. She didn’t understand why he had left like he did. Slowly, to not startle him, she unmasked her aura to let him sense her. He looked up to her, and she smiled at him.Sesshomaru stood, and Kagome took a step back. “Kagome, please come join me.” Kagome hesitated, and then slowly walked into the room. “You’ve never come in here before.”
“I didn’t want to intrude.” Sesshomaru walked around his study while Kagome watched him. “Are you ok? You seemed… disturbed to know that I remember Midoriko’s lifetime.”
Sesshomaru looked at a case, and asked, “And the dead miko’s?”
“No.” Kagome walked toward him. “Is that what this is about?” She stopped by him, and saw what he was looking at. It was all of their weapons, Sesshomaru’s, Inuyasha’s, Sango’s, Mirkou’s, hers, all of them. Involuntarily she placed a hand on the glass case.
“Inuyasha was made human-”
“I know.” She cut him off, but was unable to take her eyes from the case and what I held. It seemed she had many ghosts, and they were starting to catch up to her. She felt as if she was surrounded by them.
“Then perhaps you should tell me what you know.” Sesshomaru watched the young woman who knew more than she should, and had experienced so much more.
“Inuyasha was made human. Kikyou was made to be alive. Kohaku was dead, but reincarnated to Sango.” She told him. Grief was battling to win her over. She was seeing all of their faces, and knew they were all dead. She knew she would only see them once more, and now she feared what she would find on the other side of the well. It had always been a sanctuary for her even with Naraku; it had been a place to call home where she had a family that was irreplaceable. Now it seemed that world and image was shattered- destroyed in a way Naraku could never do. And it was all because of a foolish hanyou that she had loved once- that she had freed. It was because of her. She didn’t want the truth; she wanted her ignorant bliss. She wanted everything to be ok, and her friends to find peace and happiness.
“But you do not remember Kikyou’s life?”
Kagome turned to him. “I said no already! Why is it so important?! Do you fear that I may remember being with your brother? Do you fear that her love for him has tainted me?” She nearly screamed at him. She felt like she was dying inside- she was wilting- and all he cared about was Kikyou. Second. her mind supplied, and she wanted to hurt him for it. She wanted to hurt him from making her relive how it felt all those times that Inuyasha ran off to be with Kikyou, and she laid away in her sleeping bag trying to suppress all the tears. She wanted to hurt him for making her feel second, for being just like Inuyasha. She wanted him to hurt like her.
“Kagome, please, you must listen to me.” He caught her chin, and held her face till her eyes met his. “I simply wish to know if you know how my brother passed.” Kagome’s eye filled with confusion, and he released her. “It was not what the dead one told me. She lied, but I never knew the truth.”
Kagome felt deflated. “Oh.”
Sesshomaru looked down on Kagome. “Know you are always welcome here. You may read anything you want. Kagome this is your home, and always will be. I want you to see it as such.” Kagome stared at him astonished, but nodded. “Come, let us retire.” Kagome nodded, and took one last look at the case, and then followed Sesshomaru out.
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