Ever Us -- Reflections | By : DaddysSpecialRequest Category: InuYasha > General Views: 1332 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
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Chap 7 “Ever Us—Reflections”
Chapter 7 Letters to Mama
A cross over chapter with “Ever Us—A Slice of Life” chap 12
Year: 2020
After the Takahashi wedding.
A package was delivered anonymously to Mrs. Higurashi at the Higurashi shrine
with these instructions: Mama, After you read this and let it soak in, call me. Phone number on last page –I.
Excerpts follow below
1500
Dear Mama,
Inuyasha promised me he will figure a way to get letters to you even if he has to talk to Sesshomaru. He’s so funny. Their relationship is much better than when I first met Sesshomaru and Inuyasha three years ago. At least now they acknowledge each other. Well, I’m here now and I’ll work on it. Family is important! You taught me that.
The first two weeks of my return to Inuyasha have just sped by so fast. I’m a married woman now, Mama! So exciting! I love him so much! It’s so incredible being in his arms. We fit perfectly.
I have to tell you what happened when the well let me through. Inuyasha was waiting for me. He reached in and pulled me up into his arms. Then Miroku and Sango and their three kids and Shippo came. Shippo said that Inuyasha’s nose twitched and he was off to the well in a rush so that’s why they ran after him.
It was so nice to see everyone again. I missed them so much. We all had so much catching up to do but Miroku said that they’d go tell Kaede and Rin and start preparing a celebration feast. Then he pulled Shippo along with them. Later he told me it was to give Inuyasha some time alone with me. Apparently Miroku and Inuyasha had had a conversation when they were walking back from a job. Miroku asked Inuyasha point blank, “What will you do when she returns?”
Inuyasha grabbed me by the hand and we walked to the tree. I smiled. It’s where I first met him. He said, “I have thought about how to do this for three years. I don’t have the perfect words. All I know is that I don’t want you to go away ever again. Marry me. Stay with me. Forever.”
Mama, it was perfect and so romantic! I’m blushing as I write this. I smiled at him and said, “Yes, I will marry you! I had already decided to ask you if you didn’t ask me. I can’t imagine life without you. I love you, Inuyasha.”
Of course we kissed and hugged. He’s a great hugger.
When we got to Kaede’s we told the others that we would marry that day. I know I wanted a big western wedding when I was a kid. I had the exact opposite. It was simple. We were surrounded by our friends and Kaede and Miroku blessed our union. So my “welcome back” feast was our wedding feast. Got to admit there was less hassle than a modern day bride goes through. No photographer. Rin picked some wild flowers and wove a beautiful crown for me. She really has a connection with flowers. Wouldn’t surprise me if she was a florist in a future incarnation. No shopping for a gown. Sango offered to let me use her wedding uchikake. It was cotton and simple. There’s no silk in our village except for what Rin receives from Sesshomaru. Rin offered one of her kimonos too but she is only 12 and still very small. She seemed so happy to see me again. I’m sure I’ll get to know her better.
The tradition in Edo amongst the peasants has the wedding party starting the day at the bride’s family’s house and then marching through town to the groom’s family’s house. The village elder leads the proceedings. Since I had just come from our home, we all just considered Kaede’s hut the equivalent of the groom’s family home. And Kaede played the role of elder, although I think the village elder would have if we had asked. He has always liked Inuyasha.
I was pleasantly surprised to find out that Inuyasha had made us a hut at the edge of the village. It was a simple little hut but very well constructed. He made it with his own hands. He asked Sango for a little guidance but he did it all by himself. My husband, wow! I’m so happy Mama. Love, Kagome (small flowers surround this entry)
1503
Oh Mama! Rin married Sesshomaru today! It’s all she’s ever dreamed of. Trust me that’s all Kaede and I have heard her talk about for the last three years. Sesshomaru was speechless when he saw her in the shiromuku wedding kimono. I was so happy for her. She looked so pretty. Sesshomaru is so clueless about humans. Rin will have her hands full teaching her husband. Inuyasha took him aside to give him some marriage and sex advice. He was so embarrassed later when told me about it. I’m sure Sesshomaru will appreciate it. My husband is a wonderful lover. Giggle. Giggle. Plus it undoubtedly drew them closer together.
Kohaku had the biggest crush on her but she let him down as gently as possible. At first he thought it was because he had tried to kill her years ago when he was under Naraku’s influence but she explained to him that Sesshomaru saved her life and she has been in love with him since she was eight. He took it like a gentleman but he didn’t visit again for a while.
I caught up with him and told him I understood the feelings he was going through because I felt that way when Inuyasha was focused on Kikyo. He just looked at me and sighed. “But in the end you got to be with him.”
Mama, I felt so bad. I’m supposed to be a healer priestess and I made him feel bad instead. Sango said not to worry about it and just give him space. I’m making a wish on the Tanabata tree that he will meet someone nice. He’s such a sweetheart.
My love to all, Kagome
Dear Mama,
I love my husband so much! I remind myself of Yuri when she was dating that guy. She couldn’t stop talking about him! Now it’s my turn. Inuyasha is so incredible! His character is so strong and he’s been through so much. He was saved at birth by his father who he didn’t get to meet until Sesshomaru and he fought Sounga together.
His momma died when he was just a little boy. Hanyous and demons age slower than humans. His childhood was long and isolated. I can only imagine if it were me I would think I was destined to be alone all my days. Then he heard about the jewel and how it could grant your wishes.
Kikyo showed him kindness and he fell in love with her. But Naraku sabotaged that relationship and he felt betrayed and alone again.
When I met him and released him from the tree he had no reason to trust me. But through our adventures he rescued and avenged Shippo’s father and befriend Miroku and Sango. And you know my part. I fell in love with him before he loved me. I couldn’t help it. He’s so amazing.
Now in our village he’s a hero and accepted by the villagers.
And Sesshomaru even talks nicely to him now.
I married a super hero!
Your lucky Daughter, Kagome
Mama,
Today was our first married fight. It was so stupid. I’m so sad. I wanted to talk to you so badly that I stood at the well looking in. Inuyasha caught up with me and started apologizing. He was afraid I was going to jump back in the well. It was my fault anyway. I didn’t listen to him. I jumped to conclusions. We talked it out but I’m embarrassed. I yelled at him at the top of my lungs and even “sat” him. We both cried a lot and held each other. I took those dumb beads off and threw them in the well. I pray I never do that again. I really wanted to talk to you today. Kagome.
P.S. About now you would say, “pray to the ancestors for advice”. But Mama, I’m older than the ancestors now. (tear marks on the paper)
Mama,
I’ve had it! I have heard so many backward thinking comments that I started my own school. I realize I’m a woman out of my time and I’m from the future but I got so frustrated with some chauvinistic stupid thoughts. My only students are Rin, Shippo, and Sango’s kids right now. The village elder has offered some resistance initially but I figured a way to win his approval. I’m going to asks villagers to talk about their jobs; Baker, farmer, lace worker, dyer, all the villagers will be “professors” for the day. People do like to talk about themselves. And I’m going to teach first aid. If they would just wash their hands!!!!!
When I calm down I’ll write more. I love you. Kagome
1511
Mama,
I have the saddest news. A bad virus went through the village. Kaede died and I can’t have babies. You’ll never be a grandma. It’s still hard to talk about it so this note will be short.
Rin and I both cared for patients. A large number of people died including Kaede. Inuyasha thought he had become a permanent grave digger. Even Rin and I got sick. We had been washing our hands until they were raw but we got a milder version of the virus anyway. Fortunately for us it doesn’t spread to dog demons so our husbands took turns caring of us in our hut. We still had to care for the sick even from our beds. Crazy, huh?
Anyway after our next cycles, we both decided we wanted to have children. After all Rin is 22 and I am 29 now. We stopped the herbal teas and “got busier”. But month after month nothing happened.
Rin told me of the conversation she had with Sesshomaru.
She had realized she was infertile and could not carry any children for her Lord. She still calls him that.
Sesshomaru found her crying in a flower meadow near their forest home.
“Why are you crying, my Rin?”
“Oh my Lord! I have failed you!” She says she was wailing.
Sesshomaru held her but was uncomfortable. He hates tears.
“Stop that crying this instant.” He commanded.
But of course Rin’s crying was worse.
“Rin, stop please. I am in pain.”
Rin said she stopped crying immediately and looked at Sesshomaru with big wet eyes. “My Lord husband, are you injured? Where? When?”
She noted her healer mode activated and she was no longer focused on herself.
“I hurt when you hurt, my precious wife. Please tell me what is wrong.”
She said there was a pause and she twiddled her fingers for a while before she told him that she was infertile and could not give him heirs.
Rin said that he just looked at her and in his matter of fact style of speech he said that it was not an issue for him.
Rin was confused and told him it mattered for her because it was expected of a king’s consort.
Apparently he was proud of her answer and they sat in silence.
Butterflies passed and A-Un snuffled grass before Sesshomaru said that he did not recall ever discussing children with her.
She said that caught her off guard and she had to agree with him.
Then he responded in the most romantic thing I had ever heard. I’ll try to quote him right.
“It is because my time with you is short and I am a very jealous lover. I do not want to share you with anyone. I see how children change human relationships. I see husbands and wives pulled apart because children insert themselves in the mix. I was with you when that woman died in childbirth. Rin, I cannot bare to lose you before I have to. I cannot save you again, my Rin, my heart.”
He pulled her tightly to his chest and wrapped his fur around her. “Please.”
She said he couldn’t speak any longer.
Inuyasha took the news and kissed me and then went outside to cut firewood. He does that when he has to think.
He didn’t say anything more about it. I want to know how he feels. I’m still sad.
1511
Dear Mama,
Rin and I went to Jinenji’s herb farm yesterday. We told our husbands we would be fine without an escort and we would need to get some “stinky” herbs for our villagers. It wasn’t a lie. We needed some private time though. We cried and pouted about not getting to live forever with our husbands and that we couldn’t have babies. We didn’t want our husbands to smell our tears. The herbs covered the smell of tears.
We plan on visiting often.
Rin found some pretty flowers. She wants to get the seeds and see if they will grow near her home.
I felt better after a good cry.
In the margin was written this post note.
1512- 1561
Time has flown by. Rin and I have made many more pilgrimages to Jinenji’s farm. He is such a sweet soul.
I love it here. It smells so fresh. My garden never smells that good. Rin’s does. She is such a nature lover and nature loves her.
Rin was laughing when I saw her. Apparently Sesshomaru was a sleep in his dog demon form while Rin was picking flower when Jinenji trotted up to her. Jinenji’s hooves were noisy and the noise startled Sesshomaru. He attacked Jinenji. Rin stopped him.
I can sympathize with Jinenji. I still remember how intimidating Sesshomaru’s dog demon form can be. (shudder)
1521
Dear Mama,
It’s been ten years since Rin and I found out we are infertile. At first it was super hard delivering babies when we knew we’d never deliver each other. Simple comments would make me cry. For a little while I thought I would give up delivering babies. However, today I successfully delivered a baby after a very precarious birthing. The mother and grandmother were there and watched as I coached the young woman. The grandmother thanked me after the birth and told me that I would have been a great mom because of how patient and loving I was with her granddaughter.
Ordinarily I would have excused myself and prayed for a time at the shrine but today I could smile. My heartache has finally transformed to courage. I went to tell Rin. Seems she had a similar experience yesterday.
We are so going to the hot springs this evening and hopefully our men will join us! There are some advantages to not having kids. We don’t have to find babysitters.
Kagome
1531
Mama,
I am blessed to have such good friends! Although we see Sango and her herd often, last night was special. Sango and Miroku and their kids were over to celebrate the harvest with us. We laughed and cried and told stories, some exaggerated a bit. I think Rin has almost talked Sesshomaru into joining us at these times. Miroku has tried to make his own sake. It’s not very good but we drink it and tell him he is getting better every year. That is true. He’s been doing it for ten years. Wow, I just thought about that. Either he is getting better or my taste buds are shot.
Love you, Kagome
1535
Mama,
You really wouldn’t believe how peaceful Edo, what you know as Tokyo, is. Using the tree and shrine as landmarks, I walk around here and I realize that the tree grove in front of me will be an apartment complex and that flat area to my right will be a shopping mall. It’s so hard to believe. If my homemade calendar is right it’s 1535 or so. During the 1530s Edo is still just a cute little village of mud thatched roofs. I know all my neighbors. Between Rin and I, we have delivered every baby and now every grandbaby in the village. More later, someone needs me. Kagome
Mama,
I’ve treasured so many things you taught me and passed them on to my patients and the villagers. Anger seems to be a problem for many. I’ve told them it’s normal but they can’t hit their neighbors, spouses, or kids. It seemed like we had a problem with that for a while in the village. So I made them sit down at a town meeting –talk about a large intervention!
Some men didn’t want to attend but Inuyasha told them they would be there or he wouldn’t help them. That caught their attention. He helps everyone. He is so strong. (little heart in margin)
I told them that anger was caused by something else like fear or sadness and that we needed to talk about what was bothering people.
Turns out there were a number of thefts and such; someone thought someone else stole their hens, another said their neighbor caused their milk cow to dry up, brothers blamed each other for broken toys, another wife had missing linen--well, you get it. Once all the details were out Inuyasha and I looked at each other. He left immediately and I gave them the rules you gave Sota and I so many years ago or at least many years ago for me.
1. Give each other permission to feel angry.
2. Tell each other how you feel. No humans can read each other’s thoughts. (And yes, there are a few demons who can read minds but not many.)
3.No physical attacks. Keep your focus on one thing only. No bringing up old trash.
4. There are at least two sides to every story. Ask first. Put yourself in their shoes.
5.Hear all the details. Resolve the issue and apologize if you are at fault.
By the time I finished talking to them Inuyasha was back with two fox demons under his arms.
They had been pranking the village so they could get a higher score on their fox demon tests. Inuyasha had talked to their instructors and got the village placed in the off limits section. Plus the students were instructed to make amends.
Best town meeting/intervention ever!
I’ve also had to advice folks on how to appreciate each other. I have several wives who tell me when I’m checking out their babies that they think their husbands have stopped loving them because they don’t say loving things any longer. I tell them that people show love through different ways; words, gifts, actions, time and touch. I’m so glad you told me to read that book before I graduated high school. Practical. And I tell them “Mama says to talk to each other. Never assume anything”.
Love Kagome.
Mama,
I love being a priestess healer. There have been a couple of times I wished I had a cat scan or a specialist but for the most part I can handle illness the villagers have. I listen to them like a psychologist. I treat them like a medical doctor. And I help them forgive themselves like a priestess. Wouldn’t grandpa be pleased! I would have been an amazing doctor in the modern age—your one stop shop. Hee hee.
(a smiley face was in the margin near this entry)
Shippo got mated /married today. I feel like what I imagine you felt like on that day at the well-- Sad and happy at the same time.
Tsuki’s such a sweet fox demon. I just love her. They are perfect for each other. They let me throw a feast for them. Demons don’t have the same marriage ceremonies but they do make vows in front of their friends and family. It was so sweet but you could tell they were ready to get away. Miroku was drunk and crying on Inuyasha’s shoulder. That was funny. Inuyasha was looking very uncomfortable so I got up and whispered in Shippo’s ear that they should leave now so Miroku would go home. A few years ago Shippo would have stayed just to make Inuyasha uncomfortable but not tonight. They were gone so fast Sango, Rin and I rolled on the ground laughing.
1538
Dear Mama,
Sesshomaru and Inuyasha had a conversation last night. They actually talked to each other without fighting!
I owe this all to Rin.
Rin says she didn’t say anything special. She thinks her actions might have broken the ice though. Sesshomaru goes with Rin and stands guard when she delivers babies. Rin’s practice is unique. She treats demons as well as humans. She says he has seen many things and has to listen to her and to console her when things don’t go perfectly.
Many women and infants die in childbirth in this time. I just took it for granted when I lived with you, but for every birth now I shudder. I preach washing hands and keeping the baby warm. So does Rin, but some of her patients are convinced their mothers and grandmothers know more about birth. No one knows more about obstetrics in this century than Rin. She loves babies. I guess Sesshomaru has observed that.
Anyway she had a streak of bad luck a month ago. One woman died in childbirth. Another delivered a stillborn. One baby was blue from having the cord wrapped around its neck. She save it but it’s not normal. Then she had a mother die from a hemorrhage. We suspect it was a retained placenta but no one does autopsies in this time.
Sesshomaru has watched people and demons express love, anger, and joy--all from watching Rin. I think it has to be helping him mature.
Recently her luck has changed. She delivered the cutest twins we’ve ever seen. Both were healthy with strong lungs. Inuyasha could hear when they were born. Since then she’s had many more successful deliveries and even a successful breech delivery.
She thinks Sesshomaru is fascinated by the frailty and fortitude of women of any species and their ability to carry children and is giving a second look at humans. And all of that bleeds over to his perception of Inuyasha. Izayoi must have been a strong woman to deliver a half dog demon. Who knows? They may become close brothers and good friends.
It is times like this I think of my treasured memories of Sota. I bet we would be good friends now.
(note in margin)
1558
Sesshomaru and Inuyasha are best friends now. They practice sword play for hours and laugh and talk to each other. Rin and I are so happy. (Entry followed by a little heart)
Summer 1541
Dear Mama,
Japanese people have celebrated Tanabata since 755 but my sister-in-law had never celebrated it before. Rin was not brought up with human customs. So I told her about Tanabata when I first returned. She seemed genuinely excited about it. She asked Sesshomaru. The demon version was remarkably similar. Makes me wonder if it was true…
We have celebrated the Star Festival holiday every summer. This year we both asked the Kami to let us come back and stay with Inuyasha and Sesshomaru forever.
AN—a reminder of the tale
Orihime (織姫 Weaving Princess), daughter of the Tentei (天帝 Sky King, or the universe itself), wove beautiful clothes by the bank of the Amanogawa (天の川 Milky Way, literally "heavenly river"). Her father loved the cloth that she wove and so she worked very hard every day to weave it. However, Orihime was sad that because of her hard work she could never meet and fall in love with anyone. Concerned about his daughter, Tentei arranged for her to meet Hikoboshi (彦星 Cowman/Cowherd Star, or literally Boy Star) (also referred to as Kengyū (牽牛)) who lived and worked on the other side of the Amanogawa. When the two met, they fell instantly in love with each other and married shortly thereafter. However, once married, Orihime would no longer weave cloth for Tentei and Hikoboshi allowed his cows to stray all over Heaven. In anger, Tentei separated the two lovers across the Amanogawa and forbade them to meet. Orihime became despondent at the loss of her husband and asked her father to let them meet again. Tentei was moved by his daughter's tears and allowed the two to meet on the 7th day of the 7th month if she worked hard and finished her weaving. The first time they tried to meet, however, they found that they could not cross the river because there was no bridge. Orihime cried so much that a flock of magpies came and promised to make a bridge with their wings so that she could cross the river. It is said that if it rains on Tanabata, the magpies cannot come because of the rise of the river and the two lovers must wait until another year to meet. The rain of this day is called "The tear of Orihime and Hikoboshi".
Summer 1546
Dear Mama,
Sango died today. She was working in the field and stopped to grab her heart. Then she dropped to the ground in a heap. One of her grandkids was with her and she yelled for her grandpa. Inuyasha heard and ran. They carried her to me, but there wasn’t anything I could do. I haven’t felt so helpless in a long time. My heart is hurting.
Kagome
Harvest 1546
Miroku brought his sake to the annual harvest festival. It was the best he has ever made. Even Sesshomaru agreed. We took a cup to Sango’s grave. Miroku’s health is failing. I heard him ask Inuyasha to watch over his grandchildren after he is gone. Tears ran down my cheek.
Winter 1546
Miroku died last night. His grandkids said that he was talking in his sleep about kissing Sango. When they went to wake him for breakfast he was cold. He did have a smile on his face for the first time since Sango left us. I wonder if he was dreaming of her. Or maybe Kami sent her to fetch him. I miss them so much.
1561
Mama,
This will probably be my last letter. I’m 79 years old and I’ve noticed I’m forgetting things more and more so I wanted to make sure I wrote this entry while I had my wits about me. Plus my vision is a bit blurry.
Mama, I realize now how much you understood and how amazingly compassionate you were to me. If I forget everything else I will always remember how much you love me. I love you.
When I was 16 and the well closed I spent the first year or so feeling sad because I missed Inuyasha so much. I was so in love with him. I’d see lovers walk around town holding hands. I felt so “incomplete”. I’m sure you heard my muffled moans and cries to “lost love-type” songs. I actively tried to avoid love songs. They just made me sad.
Remember I didn’t date anyone. How could anyone compare?! One day I stood before the old tree and looked longingly at the scar where Inuyasha had been frozen in place. I thought, ‘That’s enough.” I clapped my hands very loudly and said, ‘Enough pouting. Think positive.’ The rest of the way through high school instead of pouting when I saw lovers I imagined it was Inuyasha and I, together again. I imagined us walking down the streets, sightseeing, holding hands, and all the things that modern teen age girls fantasize about. Occasionally I’d pout but then I would clap my hands loudly to clear my thoughts. Bet you knew what was what was going on. You were always so empathic.
The day the well opened I was really wondering about that positivity. Maybe it was all just a silly teenage girl’s fantasy. But the well opened and you were there with me.
I told you about our wedding in an earlier note but I didn’t mention my 19 year old newlywed naive thought; “We’re going to live together forever!”
Oh the infatuation of love. Rin and I used to laugh about our naivety. I have talked to enough women by now to realize you felt that way too. Now 60 years later that love is even deeper.
But time matures us, doesn’t it Mama.
By the time I was 29 and we had found out we couldn’t have kids, I was thinking that we were going to be together forever and that I’ve just got to stay young. So many things were keeping us active and busy but time kept moving on.
After hearing Sango talk about having a granddaughter when we were about 39, I smiled and told her I hoped I’d get to deliver the baby. Inside though, I pouted. “I’m NOT aging. I’m just the right age. Inuyasha loves me. How can I freeze my age to stay with him forever?” I’m embarrassed to say that periodically I felt sorry for myself. Only Rin could understand and we would go visit Jinenji’s or the hot spring so our husbands wouldn’t smell our tears.
Time didn’t slow down. When I was 49 or so I delivered the baby of a woman I had birthed. While joyous and amazing I still realized that my time is running by faster than I wanted. I started to realize I wouldn’t be able to be with Inuyasha forever…
I discovered some grey hairs when I was 59. Ugh. No good hair dye at the local merchants. And then to add insult to injury one of the kids (read BRAT) I cared for called me “old Lady”. Twenty years later I can laugh at that but then I realized that I couldn’t stop the aging process.
I still wanted to be with him forever and Rin wanted to be with Sesshomaru forever. So we put our wishes on the Tanabata tree. Rin says she knows it will work. No harm hoping.
Then I turned 69 and about that time I delivered the third generation of a family. I smile even now as I think of them. I delivered every one of them! I may not have my own flesh and blood children but I claim them. Wonder if they are still around in your time….
Anyway, my joints ached every morning at that point. I was aging and I knew in my soul that I wouldn’t be able to stay with him forever. Rin, my best friend and sister in law felt the same way. She had actually understood her time was limited much earlier than I. Guess it has to do with dying twice before. We enjoyed as much girl time at the hot spring as we could get. It helped with aches and pains.
Rin died this year. I haven’t been so sad in a long time. I miss her so much.
Mama, I wanted to be with Inuyasha forever but I can’t. I’ve had 60 years with him. I am blessed. Now I just want him to be happy and never alone.
The 19 year old me hoped we could live together forever, that somehow when I married him we’d become “bounded” or our life spans would be connected. I guess I was a little selfish. But now all I want is for him to be happy. He has had such a long life and so many sad things along the way. I just want him to be happy.
I don’t regret anything Mama. My life has been rich and I have been loved. I pray Inuyasha is never lonely again.
****************
At the end of the stack of letters, Mama Higurashi looked to the heavens with happy tears rolling down her cheeks.
“Oh Kagome. What a wonderful present you have given me. It’s not every mama who can read how their children matured from selfish desires to selfless love”.
Mama picked up the business card that was stuffed in the back of the ancient tome. It was new and had sharp clean edges. On it was written:
Sesshomaru and Inuyasha Takahashi, M.D.s
Takahashi Clinic
B.C.
Phone
AN—Dear reader, The story continues in “Ever Us--A Slice of Life” chapter 12.
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