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Blood Stained	By : Maddiesan Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Kagome > Sessh?maru/Kagome Views: 61650 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 6
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, and I do not make any money from these writings

Chapter List
- 73
- 74
- 75
A/N: Sorry for the wait! I went to an anime convention, it was a blast. Then, I couldn't get this chapter right. Ask around, lol. I re-wrote the whole thing 5 times, I was foaming. I could have given you guys the chapter, but if I don't feel right about a chapter, I don't feel right about given that to you guys.
Thank you Daniella for beta-reading.
Blood Stained
Chapter 74: Give and Take
He was alone in that room; he wanted to be alone. He sat there listening to the sounds coming from the other room; he could hear her breathing, her heartbeat… everything. He could even be overwhelmed by her scent yet she was so far. He had really missed being whole and that was unfortunate. He wished he was better off being only half of himself.
Half of yourself kills you.
Sesshomaru closed his eyes. He hadn't missed that.
I am well aware of that.
She will not last. She hates me.
She wants to stay.
It doesn't matter. She is being selfish, she doesn't wish for me.
Sesshomaru scoffed.
She is being selfish? After everything you forced upon her?
I accepted her world. She refuses to accept mine.
There is nothing to accept.
She won't want you anymore. She wanted you without me. You'll be hurt.
I will not. And she chose to stay with me.
Just because she forgot what it was like to be with me.
I can wait.
No you can't.
I am not like you!
No matter what Sesshomaru said, the beast didn't believe him. Sesshomaru might have thought he had changed, but he hadn't – not that much. Even without his desires, Sesshomaru would have some of his own. He was burying everything he felt deep inside just to not scare the Miko.
He had a feeling his counterpart would stay very far from their mate now and he wouldn't let that happen. If she did choose them as she claimed, she should be able to do everything she did before.
He didn't trust her.
He loved her and she hurt him.
He couldn't trust that she wouldn't break his heart again.
On the other side of the door, Kagome sat in the chair at the kitchen table with a heavy heart. All three of them had managed to make it back to the hotel without any interruption. The only reason why it had happened was probably because the beast had accepted her decision. After all, wasn't that what he had wanted from the start? Granted she had not done it with lightness in her heart but because there was no other answer.
Things would never be the same again.
She was snapped out of her thoughts when she felt a light fluffy object being dropped on her head. She raised her eyes up and took notice of the yellow towel on her head. She grabbed it before pulling down on it so that it was resting around her neck. From the corner of her eye she could see Kouga standing near, drying his hair.
"Are you okay," he asked not very subtlety.
She faintly nodded. "Yeah."
Kagome couldn't stop herself from glancing into the bedroom. Sesshomaru was completely soaked and sitting on the bed just like he had since the moment they came back to the hotel. It created an unsettling feeling within her and she sighed heavily before refocusing her attention to the marvelous table in front of her. Why didn't she feel better… why didn't he feel better?
"Is he avoiding me?" she inquired.
Kouga pinched his lips together; this would not be an easy situation. He had known she wouldn't give up on Sesshomaru but the paths that lie ahead of those two would be rocky. Frankly the protective side within him didn't like it much. He'd be on his guard just to make sure nothing happened to her. He didn't care what the beast said, or how he voiced, he understood the modern world and customs; he didn't trust it.
He wouldn't let Kagome be physically and mentally hurt all over again.
"I think he needs time to take it all in."
Kouga wasn't certain his answer was correct but it was the best response he could provide. When he saw her run for Sesshomaru, he had seen a glimpse of hope. Now he was thinking that he had mistaken hope for destruction. He wanted her to be happy; he just hoped she wasn't going down a path that would destroy her.
He had no doubt Sesshomaru could make her happy. He did have doubts however that the beast could. Problem was, they could no longer be separated and the good had to come with the bad. Would the good be enough to outweigh the pain and memories?
Kouga stretched a hand and rested it on Kagome's shoulder to bring her comfort. Words would do nothing to appease the pain she felt inside. He squeezed gently before pulling away knowing there was someone who did require a little talking to. Sesshomaru was too closed off and Kouga needed to get him to express himself or this would go nowhere.
"I'll be right back," he announced to Kagome before exiting the kitchen and heading Sesshomaru's direction.
She remained there hearing his footsteps echo through the room before she finally began to dry herself with the towel when she started to shiver. She knew exactly what Kouga was going to do and it was something she had to do as well. They had shared this intense moment where she had agreed to be with him no matter what it meant but everything after that had been silence.
They might have had their awkward moments but they shared everything. Or at least eventually they did. The beast's words were still running through her mind, especially the part about her being selfish. Was she really taking what she wanted from Sesshomaru while leaving him to scramble for what he wished for? Did she pressure him into taking less, much less than what he wanted?
He would have told her if he wasn't comfortable. He had promised he was fine with her pace, one that had to be set because of the events of the past…
She sighed before completely covering her face with the towel. When would this load on her shoulders get lighter?
In the next room Kouga took a seat on the bed beside Sesshomaru. He intertwined his fingers while resting his hands on his lap. Sesshomaru appeared to be mindlessly staring at the wall; this wouldn't help. It was obvious he would have to begin the conversation and that caused him to tilt his body to the side, making him face Sesshomaru's back.
"She thinks you're avoiding her."
"I'll hurt her," he responded almost immediately.
His heart had shattered when she had come running to him, bawling her eyes as she accepted who he was fully. She was willing to put up with this thing inside of him, the thing she despised. He didn't see it happening. He, himself, found it hard to live with that part within. Yes people changed, but not that quickly. He didn't trust it to not hurt Kagome.
"You didn't hurt her then. He barely laid a hand on her."
"But what happens when it wants to get its way?"
Kouga grabbed Sesshomaru by the shoulder forcing him to turn around. "Then you stop it. That girl in there cares about you. She's putting her own sanity on the line to make this work. What do you do? You mope in your own fucking corner, staying away not to hurt her. You're hurting her now! She knows the risks and she's willing to take them."
He took a deep breath, trying to keep his temper under control. "Plus I wouldn't let you do anything to her. I don't care who or what you are. If it tries anything, I'd stop it."
That Sesshomaru didn't believe. "As if you could take me down."
"Yeah, yeah," said Kouga nearly rolling his eyes. "Get that smartass attitude in there with the broken hearted girl. I really don't know why I let you have her."
Sesshomaru arched an eyebrow. "I believe she turned you down."
"Keep telling yourself that," said Kouga as he pulled his hand away and rose to his feet. "Go talk to her and don't make me come back in here."
Sesshomaru nodded slightly and he forced his lips together. He didn't know what to tell Kagome. He was terrified that at any given moment his beast would take over and do as he pleased just like he had done in the past. It had been one thing to be around her knowing his beast was locked away, it was another to trust it to do the right thing.
Still, he could feel and smell her sadness from where he sat and it tore his heart apart.
It was hard getting adjusted to being his full self again. He had regained his appearance a while back, but he hadn't been his self, not without his beast. He had his powers back, he had his senses and most of all and he could feel her and their broken, damaged bond. Still fullness had its price; he had to be whole with everything, be everything his beast had done.
Slowly he stood up and took small steps in direction of the kitchen. He could clearly hear her every movement and the way she vigorously rubbed her skin with the towel. It didn't take long for him to set foot in the kitchen, only to peer at her back; she hadn't heard him coming her way. He made his footsteps louder in the hope that it would alert her of his arrival, but it didn't.
When he was finally behind her, she decided to turn around only to gasp loudly. She stared at him wide eyed before putting a hand on her chest. "You scared me," she said in a voice not much louder than a whisper.
For a second, she thought it had been his beast. Now, relief washed over her.
She looked straight into his amber eyes and her heart nearly skipped a beat. She wanted to clear her mind, to speak to him with no thoughts or memories but she still could not chase aside the beast's words. Kagome managed to take a deep breath before taking one step forward.
"Are you okay?"
He nodded, though she could easily tell he was not. Sesshomaru knew he could return the question but he was already aware that Kagome was not doing well. Hoping he was not breaking the boundaries he stretched out his hand and grabbed a lock of her wet hair. She was completely soaked and her cheeks were slightly red. If she fell ill because of him, his guilt would only increase.
"I am sorry."
She shook her head. "It's not your fault."
Kagome didn't blame him because it was meant to happen. They both knew his beast could not be ignored forever. She had wished to avoid it but like everything else that happened between them it was thrown back in her face. At least this time the meeting with the beast hadn't led to a physical fight. Her body had remained untouched.
"Kagome, are you sure you're okay with this?"
Her eyes began to tear slightly but she nodded. "I know it won't be easy. But… when you walked away… I realized it would be harder if you were gone."
His heart became swollen at her words. He was well aware of the horror the best had put her through and her words meant everything. He moved his hand away from her hair and cupped her cheek gently. He had made many promises and he hadn't always been able to keep them, but this one… no matter how desperate it sounded, he would keep it.
"I won't let it hurt you."
He might not be able to always stop it from taking over, but he'd spend every second making sure his beast would not hurt Kagome anymore. She was willing to put herself at risk for this and he would put in just as much effort as her. This was tearing him up from the inside, but he had always known their relationship would come with pain. Hopefully, one day the weight wouldn't be as heavy.
A day ago, they would have kissed. Today, both of them were uneasy. Kagome wanted to but all she could hear was the beast telling her that kissing Sesshomaru was like kissing it. She knew in her mind it was much different, but his words were hard to push aside. She was also aware that Sesshomaru would not make the first move.
They had taken a few steps back with the current events.
She had to confirm something, even if it sounded foolish. "Are you going to stay?"
"Why wouldn't I?" He paused. "Kagome, are you afraid of being close to me?"
Right away she turned her head and glanced his way. It was true that physically they had taken a huge step lately and now she felt like she was keeping her distance. She wasn't doing it consciously though. Maybe it was her unconscious fear of the beast. She could tell by the tone of his voice that he was a bit hurt and her thoughts ran wild.
Once again, her mind was invaded by the wretched words of his beast. Sesshomaru did wish that she was closer at the moment. So did she, and frankly there was nothing wrong with that but…
"Sesshomaru do you –"She pressed her lips together. Could she ask this? Also, could she ignore his question? "Do you… feel used?" It was an odd question but she didn't know how else to put it.
Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Used?"
"Do you get what you want from this relationship?"
Her question left a bittersweet taste in his mouth; he didn't like where this was heading. "Yes."
She nodded. "Are you sure? You don't want more?"
"No."
Her eyes widened a bit. "You would never want more?"
"I would."
"But not now. There is not one single time where you wanted more than I gave you?"
She felt like she was attacking him, but it wasn't what she was trying to do. She needed him to tell her the truth. He couldn't sugar coat everything just for her sake alone. She had to know if what the beast said was true. It was foolish since it had probably wanted to upset her. Well, it was working and now she was seeking the truth.
Even though Sesshomaru had not been the one to speak to her, he was aware of the words that had been spoken… at least most of them. He also knew exactly what she was referring to. Of course he could lie to her and tell her no, there was never a single moment where he had not wanted to continue. Obviously the desire hadn't driven him insane, but yes the thought had crossed his mind at least once.
But that was because he loved her and he wished to be with her. It was a normal reaction no matter what situation someone was in. Holding back and waiting was also a normal occurrence in many couples. It didn't change anything; it didn't make them any different from any other couple.
"There were a few times."
Her lips were glued together as she nodded. Of course there were a few times… even she had almost been caught in the whirlwind at least once. The next question was; did he suffer? She gave as much as she could and expected him to be fine with it. She didn't think he needed more because they had discussed it before. She was unable to give more. Not yet.
Kagome slowly raised her hand and pressed it against his chest near his heart. "Does it hurt you? Does it hurt you that I don't know? That maybe in the end, I can't? Does it hurt you that you love me, you're ready for me and I'm not?"
It did. But it wasn't something he blamed her for since he was the cause of it. Actually, his beast was… but apparently they had to be the same person, thus he took responsibility. He shattered her and after he had glued the pieces back together, he was aware that he had to wait for her to be strong again.
He'd wait as long as he had to.
"It doesn't."
"Liar."
He chuckled a bit. "It does hurt, but it is not a pain I cannot bear. I will wait. I have control over myself, I will not snap. I chose this, I want this. I will wait as long as I need."
"What if you always want more than I can offer?"
She didn't want to shut down every hope from the start but she had to. She could not deny the reality that she might never be able to be completely with him. Would he go on forever like that? Could he? She knew that to youkais, mates were more serious than husband/wife, but… He had not really mated her. Another part of him had.
He didn't want her to only have memories of him harassing her body. But if she couldn't, then he wouldn't. It would probably hurt since their bond would be painfully weakened, but he'd live with that pain just like she lived with it. He was not an animal like his beast; he wouldn't resort to violence just because he experienced some kind of suffering.
"I will not leave."
Sesshomaru moved himself a bit closer to her. "I won't go anywhere Kagome unless you want me to. We went over this before. I am grateful for everything you give me. It doesn't matter if sometimes I wish for more, because I want what you are willing to offer me."
This conversation should not have to happen again. She should know he wanted everything she wanted.
"I know," she said softly,
Sesshomaru wouldn't take, but it didn't mean he didn't want. She felt guilty for the things he desired that she didn't give. It was completely understandable that she was afraid of a few things, but it didn't lessen the knot in her stomach. What if it all worked out, but in the end Sesshomaru's buried desires became too much and he ended up resenting her?
Then all of this, all of the hurdles they would go through, all the pain would be for nothing.
"I just…" There was no way for her to end that sentence.
From now on during each and every situation she would know that somewhere inside was the beast and he could come out whenever he wanted. He could sneak up and ruin any moment, he could terrify her. She didn't want that fear to take hold of her heart; she had to be stronger than that didn't she? Kagome took deep breaths while she moved closer to Sesshomaru..
Her heart was pounding harder than ever and her body heat seemed to skyrocket, which she assumed was from the time spent under the rain. She grabbed on to his shirt and held on tightly. She felt Sesshomaru closing the distance and she hoped he understood what she was trying to do because she didn't have the courage to do it.
If she could just kiss him back, prove to herself there was a difference, it would help. She had to know she hadn't been mistaken, she had to know this was Sesshomaru was she was kissing. It was a horrible thought to think she'd willingly kiss his beast… but no… this wasn't his beast. This was Sesshomaru. The same person she had kissed many times.
Unfortunately, despite her thoughts, her body was locked in place.
He could hear her heartbeat in his head because of its loudness. She had seemed to come forward, but she appeared to be a complete nervous wreck at the same time. Sesshomaru was not sure what exactly what she expected from him. Though by the way she was glancing his way and clinging on to him, he had an idea. However if he was wrong, this could be problematic.
Sesshomaru used the hand that was cupping her cheek to bring her face closer. In his hold, he felt her tremble, but since her eyes didn't show much doubt, he continued. It wasn't until his lips met hers that she closed her eyes and he followed. He was about to taste her lips when he suddenly felt a choking feeling deep inside.
Before Sesshomaru was able to react he found himself feeling very far away inside himself. His lips did not move against her and his breathing rate changed. Still, he felt her lips against his. He wanted to open his mouth and speak, but he had no control. He felt his fangs against her lips as he gently nibbled, but he was not the one doing it.
Suddenly, he felt her pull away and he strangely found himself able to open his eyes. As he did, a tint of red quickly disappeared and he stared at Kagome puzzled. Had his beast just… already?
Kagome raised a hand to her lips, feeling rather strange. This kiss had felt different from the other ones, she didn't know how though. She glanced into Sesshomaru's eyes to find an answer but all she noticed was his paleness. She wrinkled her eyebrows in surprise. He was fully youkai at the moment, how could he be sick?
She knew. Kagome knew. Just from the way she looked at him, Sesshomaru could tell. He felt his body heat rise as his heart was caught in his throat. Should he tell her that his beast had been in control during the kiss? She hadn't kissed him out of lust; she had kissed him while searching for answers. If he told the truth, it might be the wrong answer.
What if she was scared of it afterwards? Maybe she would not only come anywhere near him but she'd lose the faith she had in this, in them. If he were her, he'd probably think the beast would come around every time. To be honest, he hadn't expected the beast to show up this quickly, but apparently he was trying to prove a point.
"Are you okay?" he inquired as if nothing was wrong with him.
She nodded, still a bit taken back.
He would lie to her.
His cheeks had a hue of red and he seemed a little breathless. "Are you okay?" she said, returning the question when she noticed his state.
Lies. "Yes. You are very warm. I think you might have a fever."
That was no explanation for pulling away from her. All he could manage to do was deviate the conversation. He didn't wish to lie to her, but he didn't know what else to say. This was the situation he had been trying to avoid. This was why he had wished to control himself. He didn't care how much control his beast thought it had.
They would not go through this again.
A low growl escaped him, almost as if he was trying to establish dominance. In the past he had almost gone along with it. He had settled for a deal. But he shouldn't have to. This was his body, his mind to control. He had always assumed his beast could do as it pleased, but what if he was simply allowing it to do as it wished? When it had taken over the first time, Sesshomaru had been slightly confused and had fought it.
Afterwards, he had thought his beast could overcome him. Even when he fought it, he always thought it could win.
This time, he would begin this with a different frame of mind. This was not just about him; this was about her as well. For centuries he had relied on the watch to keep his beast at bay, now it was his turn to do it. No, he had absolutely no idea if it would work, but he couldn't give up. Unlike then, he felt like he had much more to lose if he was defeated.
Despite her awkwardness and the slight feeling that Sesshomaru wasn't telling the truth, she was still hanging on to his shirt. Words were burning her lips and she had to tell him. She sacrificed a lot just to have him stand in front of her again. Of course a darkened jewel had given a terrible answer to her wish, but it had granted it nonetheless.
She slipped one of her hands in his. "I'm scared."
It was easy to say she knew the consequences and it was easy to say she knew it would be hard. It was another to admit her fears. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she clenched her fingers around his. It had been a while since her body had been molested but to think of those red eyes, it brought it all back. She had managed to be somewhat comfortable around Sesshomaru when it came to that.
She had to hold her ground, no matter how difficult it became.
The beast was just a part of him. If it could be re-absorbed, if they could be united… It wouldn't be as hard. It was the lurking feeling of knowing he could come around whenever he wished that terrified her. She didn't want to wake up one night with him hovering over her with those red eyes. She had been freed; she had known trust and caring…
She wouldn't go back to that.
"I can't go back to that," she said truthfully. "I wanna try; I don't want this to change anything, but…"
"But if I constantly lose control, you cannot suffer through that again."
She was willing to accept it was a part of him, willing to remain by his side. She was however unwilling to be abused once more. Since she could not speak the words so all she did was nod her head while a feeling of guilt spreading through her. She was well aware there was no reason for her to feel that way but she could not help it.
Kagome buried her face in his chest and he wrapped his arms around her and held on to her tightly He rested his chin on her head and inhaled deeply. It was then that out of the blue, he felt his body temperature rising. At first he thought it was because Kagome might be sick and her heat was transferring over, but it was when it hit his cheeks that he realized.
It wasn't that kind of hotness.
He began breathing a bit harsher and he closed his eyes while cursing his beast. He was trying to prove a point. He was trying to prove to Kagome that he was the same as it. Sesshomaru couldn't understand his own beast; he wanted Kagome, he did. He was simply trying to offer her what she apparently wanted. Now he was trying to push her away?
Frankly if Sesshomaru acted like his beast, all it would cause was the loss of Kagome.
Suddenly he was broken away from his thoughts when Kagome pulled away from him slightly. One of her eyebrows was raised and she appeared to be both surprised and puzzled. However, she did not say a word. Instead her eyes traveled gently down and all he could do was follow her gaze. It was then that he met a bulge in his pants.
Oh for the love of -.
An erection. An erection?
This could not be from him. Yes, he was attracted to Kagome, but this was completely different. All he had done was hug her; nothing that should be getting him worked up. Could…. It be his beast? After telling him he'd lose Kagome he had disappeared and became completely quiet. Was this is way to prove his point?
It was a bit awkward and uncomfortable, but Kagome wouldn't run away because of that. After all, they had gotten a bit close themselves in the past months and it wasn't anything she wasn't familiar with.
"My apologies," he said as he pulled himself away from her.
Kagome pinched her lips together. The timing couldn't be more wrong. Hadn't she just asked him if he felt used, if he put his own desires aside? Though it was quite a strange reaction from Sesshomaru. He didn't usually become…excited? He had kissed her passionately of his own will a few times, but… Well.
He had just become one again with his whole self. Maybe there was still a bit of adjustment to do.
It did remind her of their proximity. Not the one she shared with the beast, but the one she had shared with Sesshomaru so far. Every single time he had touched her he had treated her like a queen, putting her before himself. Technically it was what the beast had tried to do in his own fashion. He had hurt her, but he had kept saying he was doing it for her.
She swallowed hard.
Was she closing her eyes to his point of view?
He had damaged her; he had hurt her, taken her life away and made it into something completely different. Did she hate everything about her new life? No. Would she have hated the life of a prisoner that she had by his side? Yes. She did believe it all happened for a reason and even though she was still scared and broken she had also gained some wonderful things during this terrible experience.
Being with his beast had not worked; being with the old Sesshomaru had not worked. Being with the new Sesshomaru had worked but it almost cost him his life. Now they were on the fourth try where she had to be with the new Sesshomaru along with his beast.
She tore her eyes away from his crotch and glanced at his face. "The problem before was that you didn't want me right?"
He nodded.
"But you do now. So why are you not one?"
"I'm not sure."
Was it his fault for hating his beast, or was it because their mating was still broken because she still despised half of him?
"This won't be right; this won't work unless… you're one. You can't be two forever."
But that meant both her and Sesshomaru would have to deal with the issues they had with the beast.
"You know what that means correct?"
"I do. But this is worse. The part where he differed from you was his love for me. But you feel that way. If you were to be one again…" He wouldn't be any different.
However it involved her forgiving his beast. That would be a long road ahead.
Sesshomaru closed his eyes while the frustration reached him. There had to be another way. He did agree with her; they couldn't let the beast change things around as he pleased. But he couldn't have her pressure herself into moving on. If he did, then one day she might break.
He cupped her cheek with his hand. "I don't want you to do anything you don't want."
She covered his hand with hers. "I won't. I just can't take this anymore. I'm not doing it for you, or for him. I'm doing it for me. If I don't break out of this darkness, I'll go insane. I can't be in fear for the rest of my life. "
How was she going to do this?
She had no clue.
But he was here with her and maybe that would be enough.
-B-
It was very late into the evening and the sun was just getting ready to rise. Nonetheless, both Sesshomaru and Kagome were still awake, each sitting in their bed. Kagome had moved Kiyoshi's crib right beside her, almost as if she felt guilty for leaving him while she had sought out Sesshomaru. She had a hand hanging inside the crib, gently brushing her son's hair.
"I never called my mother."
It wasn't as if she couldn't or didn't want to, it simply was that the situation was too complicated to be explained over the phone.
"What am I supposed to tell her?"
Obviously she would tell her the truth, but at the moment it sounded quite insane. The last time her mother had seen her, the simple sight of Sesshomaru was making her sick. How was she supposed to say that they were considering a relationship and that she didn't find him as terrible as before? The only way to make this right was to allow her mother to meet Sesshomaru which she couldn't do right away.
Though it didn't mean that her mother wasn't worried sick over her.
He had also noticed but he had not pointed it out since he didn't feel like it was his place. He had figured she had her own reasons for not calling her. Though one thing he couldn't help notice was how she was bringing this up now… when they had not quite finished their conversation from earlier. It was easy to tell, she didn't want to discuss it.
Although, what was there left to discuss?
His beast had returned and she had made the conscious choice to stay by his side even if it meant accepting his beast somewhere along the lines.
"If you wish to ease her worries you can call her. If you think it'll increase them, don't."
She nodded. Maybe it was best to wait. Wouldn't they be returning soon anyways? After all, the jewel was now gone and their task was over. All that remained was waiting for Kiyoshi to be old enough for the flight. She didn't care if he was half-youkai or full youkai: she wouldn't jeopardize his life. They would wait the required amount of time.
It was at that moment that the silence of the room was broken by cries. Kiyoshi's tears were spilling, causing Kagome to rush to her feet to hurry and hold her son. She grabbed him from his crib and gently rocked him. It was nice to hold him. She hadn't been far from him for too long, yet it had felt like an eternity. Although, despite enjoying holding him, there was something she noticed.
His screams had only increase in intensity.
Sesshomaru sat on the edge of the bed, concern flashing through his eyes. As if his change of position had made Kiyoshi notice him, he began to extend his arms in direction of his father. Kagome seemed rather taken back at first, but she still walked in direction of Sesshomaru. Their son wanted… his father?
"I think… you should hold him," she said as she stood in front of Sesshomaru.
Still unsure like most times he held him, Sesshomaru reached out for his son. As soon as he held him in his arms, he began to feel overwhelmed in a way he could not explain. He had done this before, why was he being so proud this time? He glanced down at Kiyoshi and their amber eyes met. While Sesshomaru kept staring at his son, the cries died down.
Kagome couldn't help the tiny smile that reached her lips. No, she did not mind that this time Kiyoshi needed his father's attention. She wanted them to be in each other's life… no matter what happened in the end.
As Sesshomaru gently stroke the markings on his son's face with his thumb, he bent forward just a bit more again. His bangs were now hiding his eyes from Kagome while she moved to sit beside Sesshomaru, no longer wanting to awkwardly hover over them.
Beneath the silver bangs were no longer amber eyes looking down at Kiyoshi, but red eyes. The expression on his face had also transformed. It was not only a look of contentment but it was one of pride. It was a look of true happiness. Never had such a bright smile been upon his lips before.
He had been kept from his son for too long now. His son had known he was there; he had reached out to him. Yes, his heir had wanted to bond with him. The last time they had been in contact was when he had still been inside his mother's womb. Now for the first time he held him and he felt his youki swirl inside as pride filled him. He was strong, very strong.
Sesshomaru ran his finger until he reached the moon on his son's forehead and he gently tapped it.
This was the life he had wanted.
This was the life he had wished to give her.
And now, they had it.
His Mate. His Son.
How long until the illusion would be shattered?
-B-
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Blood Stained