Show Me How It Ends | By : DeniPie Category: InuYasha > General Views: 4931 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story. |
Editor?
Ok it’s official, I need an editor. I don’t know why it
bothers me but I just can’t stand after I’ve submitted a new chap and when I
finally have time 2 relax and read it over on ff.net or aff.net or anywhere
else I end up seeing grammar mistakes and crap. The mistakes aren’t because I’m
retarded, it’s just I work pretty hard to dish out a decent chap and get all my
thoughts about the plot out before I forget what I wanted to do with the fic
and where I wanted it to go and going that way I usually end up finishing at
like 3 or 4 in the morning. Then when I run spell check and re-read it, I miss
stupid stuff because I’ve already written it and don’t pay as much attention.
So would n.e.one like the job of Deni’s official editor? Yay, nay, maybe? There
are perks 2 the job, u get 2 read the newest chap b4 n.e.one else does, and if
I’m stuck on a chap, u’r advice would probably be the
one I’d be seeking out when I’m trying 2 get the rest of my thoughts out. I do
need a good editor though, seriously. I need one that will be committed 2 this
job and not screw around. I need 2 get the new chap out the day after I send it
2 u at the very latest. This isn’t a book u pick up and read when u’r done w
homework and have nothing better 2 do. I know everyone’s busy, because I’m
constantly busy myself, so if u even have the slightest doubt whether or not
u’d be able 2 do this then I wouldn’t ask 4 this job, k? I just need an editor
because since they’ve never read the new chapter they’ll be more alert 2
mistakes than I would b.
The Fic
I feel the need 2 explain y exactly I’m writing this fic.
I’ve submitted this fic 2 a few other places and the one thing that I found all
the reviewers have in common is this thing with Ginta. They either are
intrigued by the idea of him being a big char in a fic or they just don’t see
the purpose and what not. I’ve always found that secondary characters get the
shaft in most manga’s, I’m sorry but they do. Let me think of some popular
mangas/animes. Ok here ya go, its cliché and stupid but here ya go, Take Molly
or Natsue or whatever her name is from Sailor Moon(I never really got into that
craze so I’m not sure, she was the red head). Secondary character that
completely got the shaft. She fell in love with a hottie who ended up dying and
being kind of as asshole tho a misunderstood one, and what does she get 2
replace him? The nerd, the school nerd. Oh yeah baby, that makes everything
better. Oh! And Fushigi Yuugi! It’s like everyone but Miaka, Tamahome,
Hotorhori, and Yui, get the total shaft there. Everyone else in Miaka’s crew
has like no character development and
ends up dying alone and unloved. Fantastic. I just wanted to go more in depth
with a secondary character or an often forgotten character and for some reason
Ginta just captured my eye. He’s like the spastic, awkward guy that knows he’s
awkward but knows he can’t change anything about that and just deals. He never
seemed to try to be anymore than he was. He knew he was in Kouga’s shadow so he
just basked in the shade, so to speak. He and Hakkaku were always so
complacement and never tried to be anything more than what they were. They were
followers and damned proud of it. I just wanted to go a little further with
that.
Response 4 Pheonix
Ok sorry everybody about this author note crap being so long
but I’m gonna finish up right here. I just got a review that contained some
well thought out questions and some healthy, creative criticism. I’m pretty
sure everyone feels like Kagome can be a little 2 dramatic when it comes to
Kouga’s death, believe me I know. I get pretty irritated with portraying that
side of her 2. But it is essential to
the story for now and I have 2 keep with it, but don’t worry everything will be
explained in the end. Although, keep in mind, that Kagome does have merit to
her guilt. Yes everything Kouga did was completely voluntary and out of love
for her but she never appreciated all his doings to their fullest extent
because, I dunno y, either she was afraid of encouraging him, making InuYasha
jealous, I have no idea, the manga never really gets into that. But basically
Kouga was in this whole Naraku war for one thing, and that was Kagura, yes he
hates Naraku too but its more personal with Kagura because it’s her face he
sees when he thinks of the decimation of his tribe, Naraku is more of an extension
of that. Yet he gave that up just for a moment to help Kagome and it was
extremely hard for him to forsake his clan’s memory like that to help a woman
that would never return his feelings. Kagome not only asked Kouga to watch her
back but basically inadvertly asked him to guard her life at the risk of his
own, and she realizes this now. The best way I can describe this would be to
say what if someone committed suicide because you didn’t love them? And that’s
basically what Kouga did, I mean turning your back in an all out war is nothing
short of suicide and that’s what Kagome sees it as. She feels guilty because
not only did he turn his back on his entire reason for being in the war just to
help her, but he was also very much in love with her and she believes she just
brushed this all off thinking she would have time to deal with it later, but
she didn’t. Kouga not only died a dishonorable death, being pretty much stabbed
in the back by a woman, but he died broken hearted, or so Kagome believes, I
don’t think Kouga was broken hearted because he still had hope because she had
never outright said ‘no.’ Her guilt over Kouga is more of an ‘if I could go
back and do it all over’ sorta thing. Not only that but you have to see that
Kagome has to live with the people that were closest to him and loved him.
Doing that is bound to screw with your psyche one way or another. She sees this
entire situation as her taking something from Ginta and Hakkaku that they can
never recover from. It’s like going to the funeral of the person who committed
suicide over you and having to stand next to their parents. Well this is like a
never ending funeral and she has to live with those parents. Basically all this
combined with the situation at hand is bound to cause some major self pity. And
I hate writing self pity scenes more than anything but for now they’re
imperative to the story, so bare with me. As for the whole ‘Okaa-san’ and
‘Mama’ thing. I’m trying my best to base this fic on the Manga, because the
dubbed anime sucks mega balls. I’m sorry but it does. They made like a total
mockery of the manga and that just pissed me off. I rather read sub titles than
listen to their English and censory screw everything up. I haven’t read the
entire manga but I’ve read enough. In the Japanese manga
(untranslated) and in the subtitled version of the Anime(which I have seen a few episodes of) Kagome refers to
her mother as Okaa-san, and I have Kagome in my fic do the same as well as
contain some other Japanese to remind everybody that this is based on the manga
and not the series. I only have her address her mother as Mama when she needs
to. Because when she truly needs her mother like a little child needs her
mother ‘I want my Okaa-san’ just doesn’t sound as right as ‘I want my Mama.’
But the transition has nothing to do with her growing apart from her mother,
but I can definitely see how anyone would think that.
To sum it
up, the whole Kouga dying thing is not really Kagome’s fault, but then again
the whole Kikyou dying thing wasn’t InuYasha’s fault either yet he still
bitches and moans over that. It’s a
little like that I guess. And I’m sorry if answering this one reviewer pissed
anybody off who also asked me a question or something. I normally don’t respond
to reviewers but this one review was just really mature and well thought out
and I couldn’t write another chap without answering her questions which
probably a lot of other ppl had. But if n.e.one else has a question just review
and I’ll answer u in the next chap or email me and I’ll answer u right away,
but make it something worth while. If u’r just gonna say ‘hey u’r fic is shit’
I’m not responding to that. That’s retarded, u think the fic is shit then stop
reading where u r and go find something u do enjoy, u don’t have to be freakin
Davinci to figure that out. As for Phoenix,
I hoped I answered all u’r questions the way u expected, I’m sorry for the
whole Kagome self pity thing, I hate the drama too, but sadly it must b done. Plus
what doesn’t kill u makes u stronger, yeah?
The Deni Pie
Phoenix P.S.: I
have no idea y this fic has gotten so few reviews either, maybe it’s because my
summary of it was kinda vague but I just don’t like giving away the entire plot
and mystery in a freaking 20 word summary. Yet I c fics about Kagome somehow
turning into a demon or something completely retarded like that and ppl just
review like hell over it. Oh well, whadaya gonna do.
Omg it was so fuckin
hard 2 find a song that fit this chap, and even this one doesn’t really cover
it but it was better than the other ones I had in mind. Then again, Nirvana can
do no wrong ^_^
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C h a p t e r VIII –
L i t h i u m
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm so happy 'cause
today
I've found my friends
...
They're in my head
I'm so ugly, but
that's okay, 'cause so are you ...
We broke our mirrors
Sunday morning is
everyday for all I care ...
And I'm not scared
Light my candles, in a
daze
'Cause I've found god
yeah, yeah yeah
yeah, yeah yeah
yeah, yeah yeah
yeah, yeah yeah
yeah, yeah yeah
yeah, yeah yeah
I'm so lonely, but
that's okay, I shaved my head ...
And I'm not sad
And just maybe I'm to
blame for all I've heard ...
But I'm not sure
I'm so excited, I
can't wait to meet you there ...
But I don't care
I'm so horny, but
that's okay ...
My will is good
yeah yeah yeah
I like it - I'm not
gonna crack
I miss you - I'm not
gonna crack
I love you - I'm not
gonna crack
I killed you - I'm not
gonna crack
I like it - I'm not
gonna crack
I miss you - I'm not
gonna crack
I love you - I'm not
gonna crack
I killed you - I'm not
gonna crack
I'm so happy 'cause
today
I've found my friends
...
They're in my head
I'm so ugly, but
that's okay, 'cause so are you ...
We broke our mirrors
Sunday morning is
everyday for all I care ...
And I'm not scared
Light my candles in a
daze ...
'Cause I've found god
yeah, yeah yeah
yeah, yeah yeah
yeah, yeah yeah
yeah, yeah yeah
yeah, yeah yeah
yeah, yeah yeah
I like it - I'm not
gonna crack
I miss you - I'm not
gonna crack
I love you - I'm not
gonna crack
I killed you - I'm not
gonna crack
I like it - I'm not
gonna crack
I miss you - I'm not
gonna crack
I love you - I'm not
gonna crack
I killed you - I'm not
gonna crack
Lithium - Nirvana
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Around five
weeks, a little over a month. Was about as long as Kagome could surmise she had
been there. She did her best to keep track of the month and day, though she had
always been pretty forgetful so it made it that much harder to keep track of
time. Things had settled down and gotten a little better. She and Ginta got
along just fine, and she chose to ignore his adamant not so pleasant feelings
towards her. He did well to hide them so she did well to politely overlook
them. He had every right to his own feelings and she had every right to believe
she was doing the right thing and did not need the added guilt of Ginta onto
her shoulders; so for now his thoughts were his own problem. She couldn’t
change it, why try? Once she got used to it she found it much less tense around
him and did her best to pretend they were at least friendly acquaintances yet
still at the same time respect their barriers.
A few
mutual yet unspoken agreements had silently been made between them since that
night in the bathing hallow. He would hunt, and she would build the fires and
make their temporary home as comfortable as she could by adding whatever
furnishings and what not she could find and/or make. He also prepared whatever
meal he brought back. Kagome was a self admitted horrible cook in her future, let alone in the past where
there were no microwaves and/or can openers. She hadn’t the foggiest how to
skin or cook a once living animal and wasn’t sure she ever wanted to, which was
just as well since Ginta had no particular yearning to take the time to teach
her. Beyond the unspoken domestic agreement was the mutual understanding that
subject of Kouga or anything Kouga related was to never be brought up,
discussed, or remotely touched on.
Kagome
remembered returning to the entrance to find Ginta already fast asleep in his
nest leaving her to dine alone. Yet she was too overwhelmed by self
consciousness and felt too uncomfortable about their recent
not-so-much-discussion to eat so near to him. So she crawled into her own nest,
pulling up the fur covers and trying her best to quell her hunger. Though that
hadn’t lasted very long. Little more than a few hours later, when she was
positive that Ginta was beyond being woken up, she crept back over to the extinguished
fire, snatching the remains of the once cute and furry rabbit that she had begged
him to never bring home, and made off back to bed.
When
morning came, Ginta remained as if nothing had happened, and Kagome never
mentioned it again. It disturbed her the slightest bit, but who was she to tell
him how to deal with this. If he was going through something, he obviously
wanted no help or comfort from her. It definitely didn’t curb the loneliness
she felt and she wondered if he felt the same, and if he did, what he got out
of denying the kind of comfort and solace they both needed. She had mentally
shrugged it off at the time, she didn’t know what she could do for him, and for
now she would have to leave him to his own personal demons until he was ready
to release them.
Ginta put
aside, her loneliness wasn’t helped by the fact that InuYasha hadn’t come to
visit her since she had released him from the rosary. She didn’t know what
exactly she expected, well that was a lie. She knew precisely what she had
expected. She expected everything to be normal, that they would still be
friends, and he would visit her and carry on the somewhat insulting
conversations that lacked any real malice behind them that they always had when
they had the spare time. As much as she told herself that she had even
subconsciously predicted his casting her aside, she didn’t. She honestly didn’t
believe he would simply desert her, though it was she who had relinquished him.
Still, the feelings of abandonment always arose when she thought of him.
Drawing up
her knees, Kagome leaned her back against the wall of the entrance lazily
looking around at the scenery before her. Today she simply felt no desire to
venture out and make something of her day. Her choice of dress could have
predicted that since early morning. Upon waking up she yawningly made her way
to her pack and pulled out her navy long sleeved sweater and a pair of her
oldest jeans that she had frequently had to wrestle from the garbage due to her
mother’s kept threats about throwing them out. The outfit was never something
she would wear in public in her own time but here she couldn’t have cared less,
she had no one to dress for, and at least it was clean. Her uniform had to be
the filthiest thing she had ever owned by the time her adventure ended, so she
had no qualms with a simple pair of slightly worn jeans. Though the slightly-ness
of the worn jeans was something to be argued. Leaning against the wall Kagome’s
thoughts turned her attention to said jeans. They were quite faded, two belt
loops were missing with holes happily taking their place, the stitching that
kept her left pocket in place had torn and another small hole was born, one
which she was almost positive gave the world a peek of her underwear for the
day, the bottom hems of the legs were torn, tearing, and ragged beyond repair,
and finally there was a tattered rip in the right knee.
A small
smile worked its way over her mouth at the sight. They were shabby but they
were the most comfortable pair she owned, and rightly so due to so many years
of breaking in. Sliding her eyes shut, her head lay itself against the wall
with the rest of her body. The last of the Indian summer days were gone, they
had left with the last days of last month, and now a frequent breeze played
over the grassy hills and plains with promises of autumn. Today was cooler, not
chilly, not warm, not cold, and not hot, but somewhere between cool and
lukewarm. The perfect temperature.
Opening her
eyes, her head turned to gaze on the horizon. She could almost make out a black
spot littered with green dots. Kagome casually touched a lock of black hair; it
had grown a bit since she cut it, perhaps a quarter of an inch, maybe? The
black spot would someday grow into a tree, she hoped. The day after the
incident in the bathing hallow she had gone out and planted a tree in the ash
of Kouga’s resting place. Her thumb most definitely wasn’t green, but hopefully
a tree would grow if she kept to it. Gods willing, it would grow tall, proud,
strong, and unyielding, just like him.
She
supposed it was a bit morbid from a certain perspective, but her visits to
Kouga’s place brought her the comfort apparently no one else would give her. When
she was there, tending to his would-be tree, it was as if all self pity was alleviated
from her shoulders, all sorrow was gone, and tranquility settled in its place. The
pang of guilt would always be there, but for now she was doing the best she
could to make her peace with the man who loved her. It was so easy to know that
he wouldn’t want her to be so sad over his doing a lover’s duty. He died
protecting what he held dear just as she would do for anyone she loved. It was
so easy to know this now, in her safe circle of serenity, yet it seemed the
walk back home from it was like returning to the cave of remorse, shame, and
numerous ‘what if’s an ‘if only’s. Then
her guilt would return and she would find herself plagued by wonderings of ‘If
I had only sent him away. If I was stronger. If I had told him to help Hakkaku
and Ginta. If only………..’ and they would give her no relief until she found
something else to take her attention from it.
Today was a
good day though. She had woken up early of her own accord, of course not as
early as Ginta, but still early for her, gotten dressed and brushed her hair
without much hassle, toured the caves as far she dared until the darkness
frightened her, and made a few more torches. She still wasn’t sure how she was
going to hang them, but it would be useful to have them handy. Eyes flickering
up to the sky she guessed it was around late noonish.
It had been a rather gray day and the sun looked more like an out of place moon
in the dull sky. Perhaps that was why she felt so sluggish. Well, maybe not so
much sluggish, as she just didn’t feel any sort of need or desire to do
anything. She wondered briefly what Ginta was doing. Not giving much thought to
his absence she began to grow curious of how he spent his days. Surely hunting
didn’t take from dawn to dusk.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bitch. Deceitful,
fickle, heartless, disloyal, traitorous, bitch. InuYasha glared at the well,
but the glare lacked heat and menace. The small swell of pride he had felt when
he first sat back to admire the scratched, hacked, and rather worn look the
well now sported had faded somewhat. He couldn’t bring himself to destroy it,
but he couldn’t stop himself from taking his anger out on the closest Kagome
related object he could get his claws on. The pleasurable thought of the look
on her face if she were ever to see it stapled itself in his mind, bringing a
rather sadistic joy to his heart and the pleasure of released vengeance.
Yet now,
all rage was taken out and all that was left was a boiling anger only cooled by
feelings of rejection and disbandment. Heartless bitch. Unfaithful Bitch.
Stupid Bitch. InuYasha shifted crossing his arms over his chest trying his best
to maintain his glare honed on the well as if someone would appear from nowhere
and scold him were he to let up. Despite the malicious thoughts running through
his head sprung from hurt and abandonment, he couldn’t help but wonder if she
missed him. Even a little. Did she even think of him at all? Or was she too
preoccupied with her new found loyalty to Kouga for him to even cross her mind?
His teeth unconsciously gritted as his mind brought up the other canine. ‘Stupid, fucking wolf…’
He hadn’t
seen Kagome since she removed the rosary and it was beginning to wear on him. No
one had time for him anymore, no one forced him to come down from the
Goshinboku and talk, no one forced him to go back down the well to get them, no
one forced him to sit still while they tended to his wounds, no one was there.
Kaede was always doing something and he didn’t really want to talk to her
anyway. Sango and Miroku had brought Shippou back and left him with the old
Miko. Then they had simply left. Saying they were returning to somewhere or
another, needing time to absorb their journey’s end and needing time to get
away from some of its more painful memories. They said they would come back, but
InuYasha seriously doubted it. He knew exactly what would happen. They would
travel alone together, really get to be with each other and appreciate each
other and whatnot. Then they would admit their feelings, fall in love, get
married, and go to another village to have babies and shit. They wouldn’t
forget the hanyou, the little demon, and the girl from the future, but they
would accept the fact that they just didn’t have the time to hunt them down,
and the past was best left where it was. They would slowly fade to memories and
stories that they would entertain their children with or think upon on a quiet
night, but that was all.
InuYasha
spat. Good riddance. Now why the hell couldn’t they have taken the fucking brat
too? He sighed, his face relaxing a bit. He would miss them. He wouldn’t obsess
over it as if it was the biggest loss of his life, but he would miss them. He
had grown accustom to them being there and now they weren’t. It was to be
expected, he guessed. Yes, he thought they would stay but even during their
journey their group that had unspokenly formed into little mini parties. He
with Kagome, and Miroku with Sango. It was only to be expected that once Kagome
left and the jewel was of no threat that they would have no reason to stay.
Everyone had suffered their losses from Naraku and the damned Shikon no Tama,
so now it was time for everyone to wander off on their own to nurse their
wounds.
Hopping
down from the tree InuYasha began to track through his forest. No reason
really, he was just sick of sitting. Staying in one place always made him think
about things he didn’t want to dwell on. InuYasha felt as though he had been
cheated by the entire thing. Everyone appeared to get their dues at the end of
their adventure. Miroku lost his kazaana and got Sango. Sango avenged her
family and got Miroku. Shippou’s family was also avenged and now he got Kaede
to pamper and coddle him. What did InuYasha get? Some cold beads and a cheap
dismissal. A low rumble reverberated through his throat, his foot aggressively
kicking a medium sized rock across the forest.
He tried to
focus his glare on the forest horizon but couldn’t keep the longing out of his
eyes. He wanted to see her, wanted to visit her, wanted to tell her she was
being a stupid bitch, grab her by the hair and drag her kicking and screaming
back with him. Maybe it was his pride, maybe it was the fact that she said she
would hate him if he did what he wanted, that kept him from going to her. He
didn’t even know if he was welcomed near her anymore. Did that interfere with
her whole fucking sacrifice?
splash…
InuYasha
looked down, so lost in his thought he hadn’t even noticed he had come across a
river. He slowly pulled his newly wet foot out of the streaming water not
minding the dripping liquid gathering more dirt to his sole. Observing the
discovered river, he wondered at how familiar it looked.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well it
appeared the Gods may be with them on this at least. Ginta thought, pleasantly
patrolling their grounds after adjusting the burden over his shoulder. Their
caves resided on old abandoned wolf land but it appeared no other youkai had
moved into the place and still respected their borders, so for now their home
was safe. Though come winter, that was another story. He knew how every living
thing, youkai and human alike became during the winter. Food and shelter were
scarce, comfort was practically non existent, and everyone would be fighting
for all of the above. It was always easier to survive in a clan than not.
During the winter barely anyone starved with the amount everyone gathered and
stored the months before, it was easier to keep warm with sealed caves full of
fur and body heat, and no sane creature would dare impose on an entire pack of
winter worn youkai.
Ginta
sighed a little forlorn at the upcoming prospect. He and Kagome were definitely
going to have to struggle through the season with just the two of them. Though
there was the upside that food would be easier to gather for two than for an
entire horde. Yes, fewer mouths were definitely easier on their supplies than
hundreds. Still, the odds were more than probably stacked against them. This
would be the first winter he ever spent without his tribe. He wondered how he
would fair. Though it wasn’t himself he worried over, it was Kagome. He was
youkai, granted the food shortage and cold would make endurance tedious and
uncomfortable, his survival was practically a given. Kagome on the other hand,
was human and the odds were more against her than him. He would have to supply
her with more food and warmth than he would himself.
It was
pathetically easy to catch dinner. He guessed it was due to the overall
lifelessness of the entire day. The entire sky had remained a dingy gray color
from dawn to current time and he guessed it wouldn’t alleviate any time soon.
The entire forest seemed to possess a rather lethargic ambiance mimicking the
theme of the day. He hadn’t even had to separate the deer from the herd this
time. The bleeding had stopped quickly and now it just hung over his shoulder
like the inanimate object it had become.
There
wasn’t really anything left to do for the day except to gather more wood for
the fire. He should probably start stocking up on it for winter anyway. After
the meal was dropped off he would get right on it. Ginta thought making his way
back to the caves.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How could
doing nothing for such a long period of time not be remotely boring? Either way
it didn’t matter because she had started doing something a few hours ago, thus
annihilating the nothing. She had begun making more torches and thinking of
more ways to hang them in the cave halls. Holders could always be made but it
was the getting them to stick to the wall part that was hard, and if she knew
how to get anything to stick to the cave walls in the first place then the
torches would be there right now. Therefore, no problem had been solved just
yet. Ginta was right; it was going to take a lot of torches to give the caves
what she considered adequate lighting. Of course her version of adequate
lighting was electricity, and that obviously wasn’t happening anytime soon.
Neither was her ability to gather, weave, and hand hundreds of torches within
the next week.
So no the
caves would probably never be ‘adequately lit’ or have an ‘adequate’ number of
them, but at least the few she had, if she ever figured out how to hang them,
would allow her to venture further into her new home without the handicap of Nyctophobia.
Now to add to her ‘not going to
happen anytime soon’ list, it appeared that tying more torches wasn’t going to
either. She had run out of the viney foliage she had been using to tie together
the gathered torch limber. Sighing, Kagome lazily fell, sprawling out
carelessly onto her back. She might as well go gather more, she would need it
anyway, and it wasn’t as if there was anything better to do. The cave was
clean, never having been dirty anyway, the ‘living room’ fire was lit, and her
makeshift bed/nest was made. Besides, Ginta wasn’t expected back until around
duskish, so she had at least a few hours to kill. Might as well spend them constructively.
Giving a loud, whining, groan Kagome
reluctantly climbed to her feet, as if her mother was forcing her to get up a
little too early for school, and started down the ladder. Moving expertly down
the shelf-like steps her eyes caught a spot of color she was surprised she missed
all this time. A dusting of flowers sprouted from a crevice along the cliff. A
frown molded her mouth as she observed the state of it. Maybe it just hadn’t
been able to get enough water, maybe it was used to the hotter weather and not
made for the approaching temperature, or maybe it was just an old set of
flowers. Either way they were obviously dying. They were probably once a very
pretty shade of lavender, though now death was approaching and leaving them
darker, more of a deep wine color. A small pang went through her heart. They
reminded her of InuYasha’s rosary. She wondered if they too looked so dead and
inanimate without the magic that once pulsated through their beads. Her head
twisted to look at the forest on the edge of the plain. InuYasha’s forest wasn’t
so far off.
Sucking in a confident breath she
moved down the steps determinedly, assured that Ginta wouldn’t miss her
absence.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“But why?”
“Because it is not
our place, child.”
“Hai……but why?”
Kaede fought back a tired sigh. She
was too old for this, far too old. Her good eye looked back down into the kit’s
sad and curious stare and found that she just couldn’t be all that irritated
with him and his insistent questioning. “From what I have gathered from
InuYasha, this is something Kagome must do on her own. She wouldn’t want to
drag you into her own troubles anyway.” She explained sympathetically. She knew
she was no substitute for the loving and energetic pampering Shippou was so
used to receiving from Kagome. She was in her later years and simply could not
keep up with the demands of a child, let alone a youkai kit. She had other things to attend to and could
not always be there for his ‘play times.’ Even if her daily schedule would be
forever free she highly doubted that she would be able to keep up with his rough
housing. She was often tempted with leaving some medicine with a drought side
affect in his meals simply to calm the youth down.
Of course, knowing youkai immunity
it would probably have about as much affect on him as a piece of bland candy.
“Is that why
InuYasha hasn’t gone to see her either?”
Kaede’s focus returned to the
curious kitsune. “I’m sure it is. He’s doing the right thing by her to respect
her wishes. You should do the same.”
Shippou snorted indignantly. “He’s
probably just sulking because she yelled at him or something.”
A worn hand affectionately patted
his tousled hair accompanied by a dry chuckle. “Even so, he is doing as she
asked. He is giving her the space she requires for her task. Granted he is
anything but happy about it, yet he does it anyway. You should follow his
example, Shippou.” She stated before shooing him away with a slight tap to the
rear so she could return to her own task of hanging the laundry.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Died.
He had died and gone to heaven. Or hell. He had gone somewhere but he didn’t
care to contemplate it at the moment. His brain cells didn’t have the strength
to gather and consult each other enough to form a single coherent thought much
less mull over his whereabouts. InuYasha panted against her shoulder, his clawed
hands smoothing helplessly down her sides, hips, back, his cheek rubbing
affectionately along her collarbone. She was kneeling upright in his arms, her
knees on either side of his thighs, her perfect fingers running tenderly through
his hair while her lips did wonderful, torturous, wonderfully torturous things
to his right ear. Every now and then switching to the other
to give the same treatment.
He
wasn’t dead. He hadn’t died. He was dying now. The woman he held in his arms
was killing him. Slowly, tormentingly, and he was loving it. He was loving it
and hating it and being too dumb struck to know the difference. He sat with his
legs spread in front of him and his back lying against a random tree. He wasn’t
sure how they had gotten like this. How she had ended up nude in his arms and he
left in only the bottom of his haori. It seemed unfair now though.
A
what would be an embarrassing squeak escaped his throat just as her tongue did
something marvelous to the outside of his ear. Gasping for air he pulled her
closer, impossibly closer. Gods, nothing should ever feel this good. Nothing
that he should be allowed to experience, anyway. Swallowing the ball of saliva
that threatened to trickle out the side of his mouth he managed to place a shaky
kiss to the collar bone he had been so lovingly rubbing his cheek against
before going back to doing just that. It seemed all he could do until she
stopped this mind numbing torture she was inflicting on his body.
Her
knees being on either side of his thighs unwittingly gave his cloth covered
groin a taste of the heat that seemed to saturate her sex. Yet she was still
too far raised for him to relieve any of the overwhelming tension building in
his loins. Whining in frustration he wanted to thrust her down upon him yet her
current ministrations were simply too delicious to give up. He pulled her
tighter to him, grasping at her in need or aggravation, he didn’t know. Didn’t
care.
He
let out a contented sigh, leaning his head back, as she began to kiss her way
down his face, all the while never stopping her affectionate petting. His hips
seemed to leave the ground of their own accord and buck helplessly against
nothing. She was still too far raised. A low sound in between a whine and a
moan left the back of his throat, yanking her to his chest as he buried his
face in the juncture of her neck and shoulder.
Giving
the spot a tender lick he relished in the encouragement her hands gave him,
cupping the back of his head, her fingertips brushing sweetly against the base
of his ears.
“Kagome…” He
panted desperately in a voice he was surprised to find was his own.
Kissing his way from her neck, he traveled
down until he came to the cave between her collarbone, pausing before running
his tongue from that hallow up her throat. He could feel the shudder go through
her body and couldn’t help the feeling of masculine pride at being the cause of
it.
“Kagome..Kagome…..Ka..gome……..”
He muttered mindlessly, trying to convey to her everything he was feeling,
everything he wanted, everything he wanted for her, all in a language that seemed
to consist only of her name.
Wrapping one arm around her hips and
placing the other hand on her shoulder he began to push her softly but firmly
down until she was nestled safely in his lap. With that he almost laughed
breathlessly at finally achieving that mind numbing friction his body had been
in such agony over. Bringing the hand from her shoulder to join the other arm
and fully wrap around her he began to press soft, insistent, kisses to her
face. To her lips, her cheeks, her chin, temple, brow. He almost missed the
movement of his pelvis in between her legs. He gasped, clenching his eyes shut
in agonizing bliss. The pleasure was searing, almost painful, but a miraculous
pain that he was more than happy to feel again. All of the sudden his haori became
too tight, too restricting. Yet every limb on his body was immobile, all too
unwilling to give up their positions for the greater cause. Then, her hips
appeared to move against him and he lost all will to move. They pressed and
rocked against him leaving him without oxygen or brain waves.
“InuYasha…….”
He nodded in encouragement, stroking
her face and urging her impossibly closer.
“InuYasha……..”
Damned clothes. Damned any sort of
cloth. He swore if he ever got out of them he’d never wear them again.
“InuYasha…………wake
up…..”
He head turned to look at her
passion struck face in confusion. “Nani?”
“I SAID WAKE UP
YOU ASSHOLE!”
thwack!
InuYasha was violently jerked from
sleep as yet another rock hit at the side of his head. He instantly grasped the
limps of the tree he currently lay in to keep from falling. His head darted
about frantically ferreting out the source of his rude awakening before coming
to rest on a more than impatient looking kitsune.
The impatiently irritated expression
Shippou had been wearing for the past five minutes dissipated and evolved into
a look of terror before he managed to dodge the lunging Hanyou.
“SHIPPOU YOU
LITTLE SHIT!” He bellowed taking yet another swipe at the agile kit.
Shippou barely evaded the other male’s
last swat before he began to bound back in the direction of the old Miko’s hut.
“I’m telling Kaede, you jerk! You just wait ‘til Kagome gets back!” He hollered
back springing away.
“SHE’S NOT FUCKING
COMING BACK, YOU-” InuYasha paused, all anger suddenly flooding from his body.
He had said it just to hurt Shippou,
yet he doubted the little youkai was even paying attention to him since he was
so intent on getting to Kaede to tattle to someone, anyone. She wasn’t coming back. She really wasn’t coming back.
Miroku wasn’t coming back, Sango wasn’t coming back, and when Shippou had no
need to depend on Kaede’s mothering then he probably wouldn’t be coming back
either. Kagome was gone. She had a new life, not one she particularly wanted,
but it was a new life. One he wasn’t a part of. Even if she did come back, if
she finally felt she had done all she could for Ginta, Hakkaku,….Kouga, she
would just go home. To her home. 500
years away from here. 500 years away from him.
His body abruptly felt ten times
heavier forcing him to gently lean his back against the nearest tree for
support, the burning in his loins faded, the rush of
loss and emptiness that accompanied this emotional paradigm shift drowning the
fire. In the end it didn’t matter, her life would never include him. Even if
the journey had ended with Naraku being vanquished and everyone living and
happy, she would have gone back to the well to continue the life that he was so
apart from. He supposed that was why he hated going to her time. Looking at her
world and seeing her family, seeing where she grew up, he felt just that much
farther from her with all the reminders that she had a life he had nothing to
do with outside their hunt for shards.
InuYasha collected himself, stepping
away from the tree and began to walk aimlessly around forest once more. ‘She’s not coming back…’ His mind just couldn’t wrap around that
concept no matter how hard the logical part of his brain tried to picture and
accept it. His life began to flash before his eyes, and he wasn’t surprised the
flashes started with meeting her. They had been through so much, gotten through
so much, together. Could she really just throw that all away over something so
ridiculous?
This time he saw the water before
making the same mistake. Staring into the river’s reflecting water he saw a
face he couldn’t recognize as his own. The white haired hanyou staring back at
him looked as though his world had been turned upside down, sent to hell and
back again. He was empty, he was alone. And this time Kagome wasn’t here to
make it better. He just couldn’t imagine that this was how things were going to
be from now on. That this wasn’t just an intermission in their life, that this was
his life now. This nothing. This purposeless existence. He didn’t know what to
do with himself. 50 something years ago he would have just continued living,
hunting, wandering around. Then the Shikon no Tama gave him a purpose, it gave
him something to do with his life, and Kagome gave him someone to share his
life with. Now that he knew both, he couldn’t go back to 50 something years
ago.
Bending into a crouch a taloned hand
crept out to lightly skip the water, watching as the ripples reverberated
through the river briefly before being swept away. InuYasha frowned, another
memory working its way into his vision, a more recent one. Sorrow dimmed and
the flame was once again lit below his waist. His breathing quickened, he hadn’t
wanted to think of that day. Guilt over his perversion often laced over any
pleasure he could take from it. Now it was as if the shroud of shame had been
ripped from the memory and he was able to see it through passion laden eyes.
She had wronged him, it was only fair.
---flashback---
He clenched his fists
in her hair and back, he was only looking, not touching.
---end flashback---
A saliva
saturated tongue ran over his lips, his eyes becoming half lidded with fervor.
He could see her again, laying there, soaked and tamed in his arms, her body so
willing in his hands. Would it have been so wrong to touch? No one would know.
It would have been his memory alone. His hand unconsciously snaked over his
thigh to the place between his crouching legs.
---flashback---
Kagome’s breasts
looked both soft and firm at the same time, and absolutely delicious with the
way he was arching her back to let the river drain the slime from her hair. Her
nipples stood out in their natural reaction to the cold.
---end flashback---
A groan
broke free from his lips before his body collapsed into the water, kneeling in
the rushing liquid that was the only reminder of what had taken place within
its depths. Fumbling hands pulled, tangled, and yanked at the knots of his
haori, ready to rip the unyielding material to shreds in eagerness. After what
in his ardor laden mind seemed to last an eternity the clothing finally submitted
and fell around his knees sinking into the water. InuYasha allowed his head to
fall back, his eyes sliding shut to make his fantasy all that more real by
blocking out all surrounding reality. He knelt naked in the water like a
reverent sacrifice.
---flashback---
He let out a contented sigh, leaning his
head back, as she began to kiss her way down his face, all the while never
stopping her affectionate petting.
---end flashback---
His fingers closed around his
length, beginning to work it in the rhythm he had long since perfected. He
could see her so clearly.
---flashback---
Then, her hips appeared to move against him
and he lost all will to move. They pressed and rocked against him…..
---end flashback---
There
wasn’t enough air around him as his mouth gaped open trying to take in all it
could. His breaths came out in short pants, his movements growing quicker,
frantic, more uncoordinated.
---flashback---
He had always been
very curious about her.
---end flashback---
A cry shattered
the natural silence, his body went taunt, his muscles
froze with tension. Something inside him exploded, taking away his strength and
replacing it with mind numbing endorphins, leaving him to fall into the shallow
river. Spurts of water flew in every direction as his body collapsed into the
water’s welcoming arms. Needing air where there apparently was none, he managed
the effort to turn himself onto his back, letting himself half float in the
river, his drenched and tangled haori anchoring him where he lay. Heavy eyelids
lazily slid open a fraction to reveal dazed and unseeing, amber eyes. So
curious.
The need to
see her had never been so great as it was now. He wanted her to be with him
again. He should have woken her in the river, should have told her his
intentions.
The sun was
setting.
Struggling
to his feet, tugging on his water heavy haori, InuYasha took off in the
opposite direction of Kaede’s hut.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well she
had lit a fire. ‘And made more of those
torches of hers…..’ He noticed. Shaking his head at her dauntless
persistence, he propped his head onto his head, simply observing them. He
couldn’t fight the twinges of anxiety that sparked every now and then with her
being gone so late. He had admittingly grown used to her presence upon coming
back, and there was a strange feeling of misplacement when he arrived to drop
off the rest of the fire wood and she was absent.
She had
gone farther this time, now she was just on the edge of his senses. Probably
somewhere on the border of the forest. Had he not patrolled their borders so
recently he would have been more worried, but she was safe where she was for now.
Placing a hand to his stomach he could feel the impatient rumble of emptiness.
Might as well start getting dinner ready, at least it would be done by the time
she got back.
There were
bright sides to this, such as now he didn’t have to feel bad about having to
skin an animal in front of her and see the horror on her face. He went a lot
slower than he usually did when skinning food, but there really wasn’t any
reason to hurry now. Now it was just a way to pass the time. He watched the fur
laced skin peel off the blood soaked muscle like the peel of an apple, feeling
an odd sense of nostalgia. How many times had he watched………
Ginta
blinked confusedly before shaking his head to clear the clutter in his mind. His
hands began working faster and soon the carcass was divested of its protective
covering. Throwing the skin to one side for later use he then prepared the meal
for eventual skewering. After the animal was properly sectioned into roastable portions he glanced down at his now blood soaked
hands. Chuckling more to himself, he could just imagine the look on Kagome’s
face if he were to hand her dinner over to her with them.
Getting to
his feet he made his way towards the bathing hollow to clean up. Traveling down
the twists and turns he could definitely see the young woman’s need for
lighting in this place. The darkness wasn’t enough to hinder him in anyway but
it must be absolute blindness for her. He did hope that she eventually found a
way to hang the blasted things. Finally reaching the first pool his knees
slowly buckled to stoop down and dip his filth covered hands in the water.
Instantly the blood, dirt, and crust bleed away. Pulling out he watched the
substance dilute and turn the pool the ever so slightest shade of the lightest
pink.
His nose
twitched pulling him from his thoughts as a new scent reached his nostrils. It
wasn’t Kagome but it was nearly as familiar. Frowning, he couldn’t stop the
pang of annoyance at his territory being broached to carelessly. His hairless
brows working themselves into an irritated knot he quickly paced back towards
the entrance to see what his new guest could possibly want.
It wasn’t a
run, wasn’t a jog, it was more of a quick walk that got him back to the cave’s
cliff-like entrance in time to see the side of a head wearing a mane of unkempt
white hair sniffing and poking around the room.
The hanyou
looked up from his place glancing inside a nest hallow to see Ginta staring at
him with a polite sort of expectancy. Glaring at the other youkai he continued
his rummaging about the place.
“Oi! Where’s Kagome?!” He barked frustratedly.
Ginta gave
a brief shrug before sitting down on his previous log and beginning to set the
first portion of deer over the fire. “She went out this afternoon, I just got
back myself.” He explained.
InuYasha
gaped at him. “You let her go out there alone?! What the hell is wrong with
you?!”
He quickly
suppressed the annoyed expression he was sure was working over his face. “She’s
not a prisoner; she can go where ever she wants so long as she’s within the
grounds. Besides, it’s not my place to tell her what to do.”
The hanyou
glared mutely at the other male, grumbling something beneath his breath before
pacing around the cave.
He was
somewhat surprised InuYasha didn’t simply leave after he gave him his answer.
Ginta wondered why he was feeling so tense in the hanyou’s presence and
watching him so carefully. His eyes followed him about the cave, his hands
mechanically and uninterestedly preparing the rest of the food.
InuYasha
obviously felt his attention on him and he tossed a crude glare at the wolf
youkai. “Oi, what the hell are you looking at?”
“Nothing.” He answered politely but couldn’t keep the slight
frown from taking over his mouth or the twinge of indignancy from his tone. He
had never had anything against the other male before. He was Kouga’s rival, not
his, yet he found that he would like nothing better than for the hanyou to
disappear.
If InuYasha
picked up on Ginta’s annoyance, he didn’t let on. A few moments of awkward
silence passed where the two youkai simply ignored the other’s presence. Ginta
could hear the hanyou shuffling about uncomfortably and saw, out his peripheral
vision, his mouth moving to find something to say.
He coughed,
turning his head away towards the wall, hiding his face. “So, has she mentioned
me?” He asked nonchalantly.
The wolf
shrugged again. “Not to me.” Then again, he wasn’t here most of the day so it
wasn’t as if she had that much time to ‘mention’ him anyway.
He could
feel more than see InuYasha’s face fall, but the hanyou quickly recovered and
straightened up heading for the entrance-made-exit. Ginta turned his focus back
to the would be meal before he noticed InuYasha’s pause at the opening.
He stopped
at the entrance hesitatingly, standing there a few moments in silence before
addressing Ginta. “Just tell her I was here.” He said not turning to face the
wolf as he jumped down from the edge and took off towards the forest.
Ginta
nodded casually, more to himself than to InuYasha or his statement.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
His middle
toe was just slightly longer than his big toe. Ginta noticed, idly twitching
said toe, not bothering to touch the uneaten and now cooling food. InuYasha had
left a little over a half hour ago and Kagome had still not come back. A sigh
broke through the air signaling his boredom. Glancing out he saw that it was
now officially night and wondered if she had gotten lost in the dark. He gave
his middle toe another twitch and decided he would wait another few minutes
before going to look for her. His ear perked up at the strange rhythm filtering
through it. It was a sound coming from outside yet the cave was too filled with
old blood, roasted meat, and stale smoke that his nose couldn’t quite pick it
up clearly. Turning his head towards the entrance he was just in the nick of
time to catch a raven haired head sprout up.
“Hey, something smells good.” Kagome said, her face wearing
a weary but sincere smile.
Ginta
couldn’t help but smile back. “Hai, it’s gotten kinda cold though….” He
explained looking forlornly at the cooling and uneaten meat.
Kagome
shook her head climbing into the cave, a bundle snuggled underneath one arm
before she carefully dropped it to the side. “I’m starving, I’d eat it right
off the cute, defenseless creature you tore it from.”
The youkai
gave a little chuckle, handing her a skewer as she sat on her seat across from
him. He held back a comment when her mouth seemingly pounced on the roasted
portion. Finally he took his own skewer and began to dig in. “Where’d you go?”
He wasn’t accusing or demanding, just honestly curious.
Looking up
from her meal she looked as though she was about to ask him to repeat his question
before an expression of realization swept over her face, appearing to realize
what he said. “I was bored and needed more stringy material for the torches
that I still have no idea how to hang. Then I guess I just got carried away
with my picking. I never realized how many beautiful flowers this place had, if
you just know where to look.”
For the
first time since she came in he noticed her bundle lying away from the fire.
There was indeed much vine-like foliage, but they seemed to be outnumbered by
white lily looking flowers. He frowned, “They’re going to die eventually you
know…”
Kagome gave
a careless shrug. “Aren’t we all?”
“Iie, I just mean, they can’t survive in here without any
soil or all those other things flowers need.”
“Hai, but it’ll make the place look nice for the time being,
and I’ll just go pick more when they die, so it’ll give me something to do.”
She explained, going back to her dinner. “So what’d happened with you today?”
She asked more out of politeness than anything else.
Ginta shook
his head negatively. “Nothing really. Just patrolled the land and got the
food.”
“You thrill seeker you.” Kagome commented jokingly, her eyes
dancing playfully across the fire.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A low,
rumbling growl tore his attention from the surrounding abyss of darkness. Ginta
whirled around startled to find Kouga standing there a ways away from him.
“K-Kouga?” He croaked.
The other
wolf didn’t answer. He just stood there with his arms crossed over his chest, growling
at him warningly, watching him menacingly, carefully, like a shop keeper would
a thieve that hadn’t shop lifted yet. The alpha male gave the appearance of an
intimidating guard to something not yet known.
Ginta
wanted to look around, wanted to find a way out of the unmoving oblivion that
seemed to engulf him, but he couldn’t tear his frightened, anxious, eyes away
from Kouga. He looked ready to attack him if he took just one centimeter
forward. A hand started forward beseechingly towards the stronger youkai. The
growl increased to an aggressive snarl, making the hand submissively snap back.
“Kouga, what’s wrong with you?” His voice squeaked.
The other
wolf’s gaze pierced him, appeared to stare into the deepest depths of his soul.
He felt stripped and bare underneath his stare, as though he were being read
like an old book. His heart beat thrummed in his chest like it would escape any
moment like a caged bird let loose. Perspiration formed against his body
leaving him hot and uneasy.
Kouga’s
eyes seemed to accuse him of things he had not yet done, like a teacher would a
naughty student given the opportunity for mischief. Ginta’s immediately wanted
to repent, wanted to beg forgiveness for things he didn’t know, yet his mouth
had gone too dry to support his voice. So he stood there, his eyes wide fearful
and full of penitence, his body slick and quivering, like a young boy preparing
himself to receive the quick and harsh hand of justice from his father.
“G-gomen nasai, Kouga. Gomen, I’m sorry, Kouga. Kouga I’m
sorry!”
And just
like that the oblivion disappeared, being replaced with a more familiar
darkness. Ginta bolted up, panting; his covers falling to crumple around his
waist. His body was covered in a thin layer of uncomfortable sweat. All of the
sudden the entire world seemed too hot and not to possess enough oxygen for his
wanton lungs. Ginta gulped, desperately trying to get enough moisture to cure
the scratchiness currently stinging his throat. Now awake, and feeling very
tired yet lacking any sleeping ability, he let himself fall back into the
cushiony fur of his nest with a swoosh of rustled covers. He lay there, simply
staring at the ceiling of his hollow, desperately trying to get his heartbeat
and breathing under control. Finally unable to take the heat that seemed to
plague only him, Ginta tore away from his nest, padding softly away from the
bed coves and making his way towards the bathing hollow.
Stopping at
the first pool, he knelt down he cupping his hands in
the water to splash it across his sweat soaked face. The water covered his
face, dripping down his neck, and diluting and wiping away the offending
perspiration. He began to feel better, calmer. He sighed wearily leaning his head
back a little, gazing through worn and tired eyes. Using his arm to swipe away
some of the access water he got to his feet shaking his head to clear the
fogginess from it.
Opening his
fatigued eyes, his first sight caught the water, its last ripple running its
course. Kouga’s face stared back, still wearing that look of intimidating
warning, his eyes narrowed and watching. Ginta gasped momentarily stunned, his
body jolting backwards, slipping on the mixture of water and sweat that had
dripped off his slick frame. He didn’t even get the chance to let out a
startled yelp as his feet slipped on the cold, slimy floor, falling back into
another nearby pool. A loud splash resounded through the silence, echoed by the
reverberating crack of Ginta’s head against the stony edge. He came up sputtering and wheezing for stolen
air, his limbs flailing to find anything to steady them.
He found
himself back in the state that had made him come here in the first place.
Laying there in the stilling water he gasped for air, his arms and legs in
awkward uncomfortable angle hanging over the edges of the pool, the back of his
head stinging and throbbing violently. His body went limp, suddenly just to
fatigued and weary to fight against everything. Ginta allowed himself to sink
into the water hole, his head turning to one side to rest on the edge and keep
anything from aggravating the tender spot. His breathing slowed and his muscles
strangely relaxed, too tired to tense under the frigid water. Heavy eyelids
fluttered once or twice in resistance before sliding shut, submitting to the
cold, fatigue, and pain.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So how’d ya like that? I’m glad I’m writing more; sorry the last
chapter wasn’t quite ‘up to par’ as it were. But I’m at the point where I can
really start picking the fic up and getting to the places I want to go with it.
Remember, if u want the editing job email me at TeenZomby@yahoo.com or just review
requesting it. Speaking of reviews, remember to review ppl, I need feedback. I
don’t care if u criticize me just so long as you don’t do something retarded
like say ‘this fic sux balls’ ok yeah, so why
exactly does this fic suck balls? Make it worth my reading. Luv ya! Thanx 2
everyone who took the time to review and are enjoying the story thus far, u
make me very happy ^___^
Oh and
about the whole Miroku and Sango leaving thing, I just think it was more
realistic. Their whole little band was like high school, they came together to
do something and once they accomplished that they have to separate to continue
their own lives. I know all these other fics have
Miroku and Sango reside in Kaede’s village or whatever but I just don’t think
that’s very realistic. U don’t go through something
like what they went through and come out scotch free.
Luv
The Deni Pie
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