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Devotion	By : BlackberryPatch Category: InuYasha > Yaoi - Male/Male > InuYasha/Sessh?maru > InuYasha/Sessh?maru Views: 12488 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
- 9
8
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Frailty and Jealousy

Inuyasha woke in the predawn, the warm sounds of the camp going about the business of the new day infecting him and refusing to let him lie still any longer.
Sesshomaru's arms were wrapped around him tightly, his brother's body pressed against his back, face buried in his neck. Inuyasha turned, taking one of his brother's hands in his and kissing the palm softly as he slipped out of the other man's embrace. Sesshomaru stirred, but Inuyasha kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear, "Just going out to get breakfast." His brother settled and Inuyasha slipped away completely, almost tripping over Kunya, curled up on the floor near the foot of the bed on his way to the door. Inuyasha scowled; the other disguised demon had really started to annoy him over the past two weeks he and Sesshomaru has spent in the village. Kunya spent every
possible moment he could as close as he could possibly get to Sesshomaru; even after forcibly evicting him from their sleeping chamber several times, Inuyasha would still wake in the morning to find Kunya had crept in sometime during the night.
Pushing the door open, Inuyasha stepped out into the dawn light. He caught sight of Shadi
immediately and he smiled at her when she waved to him. Going over to her, he took the breakfast she offered. "Thank you," he tried, using one of the Persian words she was teaching him.
She smiled brightly and eagerly. "Good, good!" she replied, speaking the Japanese he had taught her.
He smirked. "Your accent is terrible," he confessed. Not understanding the words, but understanding the tone very well, she pouted and smacked him on the arm, but she was soon smiling again, chattering away at him as he ate.
He'd learned several words in the past two weeks but she spoke so fast that most of it washed over him without him recognizing anything.
He just sat and enjoyed the sound of her voice and her presence. It hit him every morning, if not several times a day, how much he missed Kagome. He loved Sesshomaru, but Kagome had been his first friend and suddenly, in the face of Shadi's bright and cheery personality, he was feeling her absence- fully realizing the fact that he would never see her again.
For the rest of the morning he helped Shadi organize the small store she ran, putting out new items, cleaning up, and doing odd jobs. The work was easy and Shadi chattered the whole time, endlessly. For the most part that was his life here and he was enjoying it, to a point; there were times, whole stretches of moments even, when he didn't miss his demonic half. Moments... then he would catch a stray scent and remember when he wouldn't have had to strain to tell what it was; he would fall wearily onto his bed at the end of the day and remember when his energy had no limits; he would remember Sesshomaru, all silver hair and power, spread beneath him, moaning his name as Inuyasha touched him in places no one else had ever seen.
He tried not to think about it too much. It was... almost more than he could comprehend. Thinking about Kagome was almost easier; losing someone else seemed a more manageable pain than loosing part of himself.
He usually went looking for Sesshomaru around lunchtime, eating the meal with him, but today there was so much work to do in the shop he lost track of the time and it was late in the afternoon before a particularly insistent growl emanating from his stomach reminded him of part of what he'd missed. Realizing what had happened Shadi shooed him off to find something to eat, admonishing
him in two languages as he went. Food was easy to come by, preparations for the evening meal well under way, and after quieting his complaining belly Inuyasha found himself wandering aimlessly to the outer edge of the town. Leaving the town he went down to the nearby river and realized what his aim had been- this quiet. He settled on the bank of the river, Tetsusaiga knocking at his side, the wind from the desert hot on his back as the water's cool essence freshened him from the front and let his mind wander.
Sesshomaru had told him that Kunya had said the change wasn't permanent, that this enforced form would fade. Though it seemed the more time Inuyasha spent with the other man the more he was convinced Kunya was crazy. And if Kunya was crazy, that meant they were stuck like this; he found it almost impossible to comprehend living like this for the rest of his life. He'd thought he would be able to handle it, that his monthly taste of humanity would allow him to endure a longer
stretch of this forced frailty. The opposite almost seemed to be true; it was driving him crazy as well. What amazed him, what kept him sane, was seeing how well Sesshomaru was coping. They spent less time together than Inuyasha would have liked, but that was fully intentioned. In view of the village Inuyasha wouldn't risk a betraying touch, and any contact at all would lead far too easily to what he wanted to be doing... He knew Shadi suspicioned that Kunya and Sesshomaru were bed partners; the only thing that kept her from believing it truth was the fact that the brothers shared sleeping quarters.
Sesshomaru fit well into the village, which had surprised Inuyasha initially. Sesshomaru met with the elder council most every day, giving them advice on how to fight the Turks that daily came closer and in greater numbers as they marched eastward. While this advice was unsought at first the elders soon discovered the wisdom of what he would tell them and began to welcome him, and the omnipresent Kunya, to their morning meetings. Kunya's behavior toward and around Sesshomaru
made many people look askance at the pair of them but Sesshomaru appeared to be completely ignorant of their opinions of him- and indeed outside of the elder council he hardly socialized with anyone in the village. He was remote and cold, his face the icy and expressionless mask
Inuyasha remembered too well. That it was merely a mask and not a complete reversal of attitude Inuyasha knew only by the way Sesshomaru's arms went around him at night, holding him close, and as immovable as the steel bars Kagome spoke of in her world.
Inuyasha sighed, flicking small stones into the water. He couldn't take much more of this. They could leave the village, but the Turks were thicker in the woods than before; even coming down to the river like this was chancy, and Inuyasha didn't fancy another taste of their strange magic.
At least that would get them away from Kunya... He bristled every time he thought about the other man. Inuyasha knew that if he hadn't been there Kunya would have been all over Sesshomaru. As it was Inuyasha could hardly hold him off, and Sesshomaru was no help; he permitted far more familiarity from Kunya than Inuyasha had ever seen him tolerate from anyone, Inuyasha included. It galled him, mostly because he could tell Sesshomaru wasn't interested in the other man; and his brother didn't seem to be doing it purposefully either, in an effort to arouse Inuyasha's jealousy. He sighed again and stood, the long, dark length of his hair falling across his vision as he stood. Inuyasha frowned at it, grabbing a fistful of the black hair, and irritatedly wishing it silver. When
it didn't work, he grabbed more in a sudden fit of frustration, intending to tear it out or cut it off. Maybe if he removed this incessant reminder it would remove the curse and he would be free of it...
But his hands fell to his side. Cutting his hair wouldn't change the fact that he could feel the change in his very blood, that it drove him mad with every heartbeat with its constant reminder that this
humanity was supposed to be a part of him but not all of him.
He turned back toward the village- the sun setting behind its skyline, and found that Sesshomaru was walking toward him. It almost broke his heart how beautiful his brother was, even like this, and he almost hated him for it, hated him for the way he seemed to be dealing with the change so well. The frustration was built up in him and he wanted nothing more than to throw his brother down and beat the shit out of him.
--
His arms were empty when the day began, and Sesshomaru knew already this was going to be a difficult day. It always was when Inuyasha woke before him and he could not bury his face against his brother's skin one last time before they started their day and inhale the warm scent of him. But no, he woke without the warm reminder of his brother, finding instead Kunya curled up at his
feet.
He sighed, the annoyance that bubbled just below the surface of his mind coming to the fore before he forced it back down again. He rose from the bed, the motion waking Kunya instantly. "M'lord," the man murmured, looking at Sesshomaru worshipfully.
"Silence," Sesshomaru barked back sharply, and Kunya was silent instantly. "You will bring me
breakfast," he ordered, and Kunya scuttled outside instantly.
He had realized early on that Kunya was a born follower. The desire for someone to obey was a
physical, almost visceral, need in the man and having been deserted by his companions he looked to Sesshomaru as his bastion of sanity. Since Kunya continued to serve he and Inuyasha well as translator and guide, Sesshomaru felt it was almost his duty to help the man hold on to the last shred of his sanity. At times it was a far too painful reminder of what could happen to him if the reversal of this change did not come soon enough; while not so servile in manner, Sesshomaru did not want to think of what horrors the prison of this strange body would drive him to.
But dealing with Kunya also provided the most welcoming distraction. The only way, Sesshomaru
found, that he could maintain any semblance of sanity was to carefully manage every part of himself, every part of the day. Dictating orders to Kunya- managing someone else's life- only helped him to ignore his own unthinkable situation. He knew Inuyasha did not understand Kunya. The need to follow, to serve, was something that his proud brother never would have felt, and something he most likely had not witnessed in a life that had been primarily solitary.
Inuyasha was something else he generally couldn't handle thinking about. He would catch sight of his brother, the soft human lines of him deceptively hiding the iron will Sesshomaru knew he possessed, and he would physically ache to smell him. Inuyasha's scent was the most amazing thing in the world, with all its subtleties, and now that it was largely denied him he found himself
wanting it more and more until it became something of an obsession.
He missed his brother at the midday meal that day. Seeing Inuyasha then had become something he almost took for granted, that even if they avoided each other all day, he would be able to see his brother at least once before he again slipped his arms around Inuyasha's slighter body in the night and held him, tightly, close. Inuyasha's absence from that meal disturbed Sesshomaru's routine.
He did not care for it; it opened a hole in the carefully constructed walls he'd built around himself and forced him to come out into a reality he did not wish to acknowledge and see it for what it was.
There'd come a point later in the afternoon when he could no longer stand it. He immediately began
searching for his brother; searching, because Inuyasha seemed to have disappeared. He wasn't with Shadi, or in their room, which pretty much covered the usual haunts Sesshomaru was familiar with. He'd paused, standing outside their door, and closed his eyes, seeking his brother with his mind or whatever senses seemed strong enough.
In the end it was Kunya who found out that Inuyasha had gone down by the river. Sesshomaru nodded his thanks and dismissed the man curtly before making his way to the river. Sure enough, his brother stood on the bank and as Sesshomaru approached Inuyasha turned toward him. His hands were curled into fists at his side and his expression was dark. It sent a thrill of anticipation through Sesshomaru, and he wanted to scream in frustration that his senses were again denied full appreciation of his brother's unique scent.
Inuyasha hit him when he was close enough, his brother's blow half hearted at best but striking more heavily against his rib cage than he was used to feeling. He caught Inuyasha's hand in his own as it slid over his side and he used it to pull his brother against him. His other hand went to
Inuyasha's shoulder, slipping around the back of his neck and pulling him close. He felt Inuyasha sigh, relaxing against him, and Sesshomaru sighed too, laying the side of his face against the top of
his brother's head.
Inuyasha pulled away first, glancing back toward the village before meeting and holding Sesshomaru's eyes. Inuyasha reached up to stroke his brother's cheek. "So, you're not as calm as you pretend," he murmured, a touch of desperation in his words.
Sesshomaru sighed, his eyes closed. "I..." He stepped away. "I do not..." He paused, continuing more quietly, "I cannot talk about it."
Inuyasha watched him carefully, then nodded. He glanced back at the village again before walking
away, pulling Sesshomaru along with him by his hand that Sesshomaru still held in his own, leading them down the river a ways to a thick patch of undergrowth. Once shielded behind it Inuyasha turned abruptly and threw his arms around his brother, holding him close and burying his face in the taller man's chest. "I don't want to stay like this anymore," he said petulantly, and Sesshomaru shivered, his own arms coming up to hold his brother against him. Inuyasha sounded far too much like Kunya at the moment, too close to Sesshomaru's own fragile control.
The moon was risen across the river and they lay together on the bank watching it, Inuyasha tracing
lines in Sesshomaru's hand as he lay sprawled alongside his brother and Sesshomaru combed the fingers of his other hand through Inuyasha's hair. Full dark had fallen before Inuyasha turned, his lips brushing over his brother's chin softly, then pressing more firmly to Sesshomaru's own. Sesshomaru's mouth opened to him, seeking that contact, his hand moving from Inuyasha's hair to stroke the line of his jaw and up over his cheek. They tasted each other as the moon rose in the sky and they lost all desire to track the time.
Sesshomaru was surprised at how soft Inuyasha's skin was under his fingers, and at how his own body was responding to his brother's insistent fingers as they worked open the front of his kimono, darting inside in search of his skin. He inhaled deeply when he felt them against his chest, tracing the lines of muscles under the skin, and that breath gasped out again in a moan when those fingers found a nipple and stroked that sensitive area. Inuyasha pulled away to grin at him, but Sesshomaru's hand on the back of his brother's neck pulled him back to Sesshomaru's lips and
Sesshomaru demanded another kiss.
Inuyasha pressed against him eagerly; Sesshomaru wondered if it was their long abstinence or the
effect of impatient human blood that had caused his own forwardness in demanding the kiss. In either case, he had missed this and he now relaxed into the feeling of his brother's touch as it drifted. He felt a hand trace a questioning line over the curve of his thigh, untying his hakama and slipping inside, pushing cloth out of the way as fingers traced patterns over his inner thigh. He murmured appreciatively, lying back further as Inuyasha shifted, reversing his body so that Sesshomaru found his brother's slender hips within easy reaching distance and pulled them closer.
--

Inuyasha rubbed his cheek against Sesshomaru's silk clad hip, his fingers teasing life into his brother's length even as he felt Sesshomaru's own fingers confidently stroking his stomach before ducking lower, urging clothing out of his way, suddenly awkward when human fingers didn't seem to want to work together. Growling softly, his brother rubbed his face in Inuyasha's groin, mouthing him through the cloth.
Forced to pause in his own ministrations, Inuyasha moaned, feeling desire suddenly flare through
his blood like fire. God but he loved Sesshomaru, and the fact that he was an amazing lover was only part of that. In their earlier conversation he had realized that Sesshomaru's control was as
fragile as his own, and now- even now, though he desperately wanted to cling to his remote facade- Sesshomaru was giving Inuyasha what he needed first. Inuyasha's heart felt like it might break from the intensity of his love.
He felt the desire flare in his again, so intense he thought he might pass out, and it was then that he
realized something was wrong. This wasn't just Sesshomaru making him feel good, his entire body was pulsing with some unknown feeling. It ran through him again and he gasped, the air in his lungs suddenly not enough as he fought to inhale more. He was dimly aware of Sesshomaru grabbing his shoulder and speaking to him, but his eyes rolled half back in his head and the pounding was in his ears. He thrust out at Sesshomaru, trying to push him away, and then he was aware enough to realize the hand he used to push his brother away had long curved claws and that the pounding in his ears was simply the sound of his own blood.
He blinked at Sesshomaru, his brother's shocked expression probably mirrored his own. But now not so exact a mirror; Inuyasha could see the fall of silver over his shoulder, could feel the breeze tickle the soft fur of his ears on top of his head. Sesshomaru reached out to tangle fingers in the silver of Inuyasha's hair, shock fading to pleasure on his face. It faded again, to annoyance as he pulled Inuyasha close and inhaled deeply, desperately, his own self not yet restored. Inuyasha felt an almost physical pang of shared pair for his brother; he was almost dizzy with the information his regained sense of smell was telling him and Sesshomaru's arousal was a heady scent in and of itself that made him want nothing more than to throw his brother down on the ground and finish what he'd started.
A sudden outcry in the village pulled their attention away from each other. Inuyasha stood, his
eyes fixed on the distant outlines of the town. He wondered if they had been discovered- and if so, discovered for what- or if the commotion was something else entirely, perhaps attacking Turks.
The wind carried a scent to him and though he had never before smelled it he knew what it was. "It's... Kunya," he said to Sesshomaru, surprise in his voice. "I think... he's also changed back."
They moved closer to the village, now fully awake and blazing with light in the darkness of night.
People were running every which way, and Inuyasha hung back in the shadow of the trees by the riverside. It wasn't long before they caught sight of the other demon. "Kunya!" Sesshomaru called to him; Kunya came toward them immediately as if summoned by an irresistible force. His demonic form was not quite how Inuyasha had imagined him- his face was deeply marked with demonic tattoos and horns curled back from his forehead over hair that was vibrantly green even in the darkness.
He came to a halt in front of Sesshomaru, shivering with repressed energy. "M'lord," he
murmured, "I'm healed! I'm well now," he babbled.
Sesshomaru stepped forward and seized the demon by the arm, twisting it back until Kunya was forced to lie flat on the ground, Sesshomaru kneeling over him. "Silence," he commanded in Arabic, voice cold. "You will speak only to answer my questions. What happened? Is all of this commotion just because they saw you?"
Kunya couldn't repress a giggle. "No," he gurgled. "I had a meal before I escaped." He giggled again. "I have reminded them why they fear us, I have taken my revenge for my imprisonment." His eyes flared with dark energy, but he yelped suddenly in pain and subsided as Sesshomaru
twisted his arm.
"Be quiet," Sesshomaru reminded him. "What did you do?"
"The girl who discovered me, I ate her," Kunya told with far more clarity than Sesshomaru expected
from him. He relayed the information to Inuyasha.
"What girl?" his brother demanded. Sesshomaru put the question to Kunya but had to twist
his arm back further before he got an answer.
"No, stop!" Kunya cried, "I will tell you. Her name was Arzu."
"Is that all?" Sesshomaru asked him, his voice calm.
"Yes M'lord," Kunya crooned.
Sesshomaru's lip curled, and he released the demon. "Go away," he commanded, turning his back on the demon and walking toward Inuyasha.
Shooting Inuyasha a dark look, Kunya faded away into the darkness. "Good riddance," Inuyasha
murmured, his teeth bared.
Sesshomaru glanced back at the village. "We should be leaving as well."
Inuyasha nodded. The village would never accept him after what Kunya had done and for Sesshomaru to suddenly reappear after his companion had vanished would have been too
suspicious. There was no more protection to be found there.
But as they moved away from the village, Inuyasha looked back one last time and noticed something it didn't seem anyone in the village had seen yet- a group of Turkish soldiers was grouped near the outer wall. The leader's motion to the rest of his company as they lay still hidden behind a distant rise was what had caught Inuyasha's attention. He growled under his breath. "I have to warn them," he murmured to Sesshomaru, his brother's only response an annoyed intake of breath as Inuyasha darted away toward the village.
The wall that surrounded the village was a small leap to a demon. From the top of it he darted
to the rooftops of the village, looking for Shadi. No one else in this village was going to listen to his
warning, though when he dropped down to land in front of Shadi the look of horror and betrayal she gave him was enough to make him doubt that even she would. She screamed at him, throwing the nearest item she could find- a cooking pan- in his direction as she continued to scream what he
assumed were curses at him. He remembered then that Arzu had been the name of one of her friends; he had met the girl and her warm, giggling laughter suddenly echoed through his memory in a way it never would again in life. He grabbed Shadi by the arm, but gently, and her grief echoed on his own face.
"Stop it," he admonished her softly as she continued to kick and twist in his grasp.
"No!" she said clearly, in her broken Japanese. "No, bad! Let go!"
He sighed, and, pulling her struggling body tightly against his own, crouched and jumped into the
air. The shock of being airborne startled Shadi into silence, and he carried her to the eastern wall. Setting her down, he clamped a hand over her mouth to forestall more screaming then pointed out
the Turks. He knew she saw the threat when she stopped struggling completely and gripped his arm with sudden energy. His aim accomplished, Inuyasha lowered them both inside the wall, setting Shadi on the ground and stepping back from her warily. She turned to face him, regarding him coolly. He felt her eyes running from his pointed ears to his clawed feet and he held his breath under her scrutiny, unaware himself until that moment how much he wanted her acceptance. Finally she spoke, a string of words that meant nothing to him, and, turning, ran shouting to warn the village.
Inuyasha watched her go, then easily leapt to the top of the wall and found his way back to
Sesshomaru, standing like a sentinel as he waited for the half demon's return. Inuyasha landed beside him and, as far as he knew, gave no outward sign of his disappointment. But his brother merely glanced at him before stepping forward and taking Inuyasha's chin in his hand, lifting his face to Sesshomaru's own. Inuyasha met his brother's eyes, warm with pride and affection, and Inuyasha
felt that warmth filling him also as Sesshomaru kissed him softly. He nodded before he turned away gruffly, and they continued west without a word needing to be said.

--
- 7
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