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Slip of the Tongue	By : Sada Category: InuYasha > Het - Male/Female > Sessh?maru/Kagome > Sessh?maru/Kagome Views: 7341 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Slip of the Tongue
- 2-Bribe
- 3-Pawn
- 4-Idiot
- 5-Done
- 6-Gratuitous
- 7-Upstream
- 8-Cheap
- 7
- 8
THE MOST IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE YOU WILL EVER READ: Well�that might be a bit of an exaggeration. But here's the deal: I'm back! And I'm sorry. To cut through the bull, I present to you Angry Q & A:
"WHY WERE YOU GONE SO LONG?"

�Honestly? I'm young and irresponsible. I don't really remember why I stopped writing this fic, but I read it again, and� I really like it. So it's back on.
"ARE YOU GOING TO DO THIS AGAIN, BITCH?"

NO. Unless I'm hospitalized (er�institutionalized), imprisoned, kidnapped, or something worse, expect an update every week Friday or Saturday. If I get a couple days behind, I'm sorry- I can assure you I'd rather be writing this than a thesis on midwives. (I hate you, Martha Ballard. DIE.)
"HOW DO I KNOW THIS IS REALLY YOU?"

Well, for one: writing style. Two: I'm using the same damn name. If I'm someone else trying to plagiarize me for praise, I'm doing a crappy ass job of it. Three: I posted this on AFF.net, too.
"�I�M NOT SURE I TRUST YOU, COMMI."

Fair enough� I'll have to win you back the hard way. And by hard way, I mean Sesshoumaru naked.
Thank you for your angry questions, I will answer all of them if you have more and choose to send them to me via review, message, or email. Now, I re-present to you A Slip of the Tongue.

Chapter Seven � We've Got a Big Mess On Our Hands

Your slaps don't stick, your kicks don't hit

So we remain the same

Love sticks, sweat drips

Break the lock if it don't fit�

A kick to the teeth is good for some,

A kiss with a fist is better than none

�Kiss With A Fist, Florence and the Machine

Kagome reemerged from her bathroom, his keys in hand, blushing.
Blushing again? Sesshoumaru blinked languidly, looked down at the cat practically sitting on his feet, and wished he could ask how common an occurrence this was. Because, as a rule, women as loose as he believed (nay, knew with all his demon lord instinct) Higurashi to be rarely blushed for no reason. In fact, they lost the ability�unless, of course, their specialty was pretending to be innocent to feed some sort of fetish. One eyebrow rose. Ah. While staring at Taro, Sesshoumaru's features shifted minutely, in a way that said he thought he knew something. Taro snorted and dug his claws into Sesshoumaru's big toe. This is not over, feline, Sesshoumaru mused darkly.
Attention returning to the woman, he was almost surprised to find her staring most noticeably at his thighs. He smirked. Her head titled slightly to the right. He tensed his leg suddenly, the muscle bunching, and she jumped, blushed a bit darker, then met his gaze. "I�I wasn't�"
"Of course not." He interrupted, returning to his seat on the couch. Kagome's mouth opened and closed a few times, something obviously fighting to be said, before finally she released a muffled screech and charged out the door, his keys jangling gaily in her grasp. Sesshoumaru tried not to grin too much.
Then Taro jumped on his lap.
Retribution, was all that came to mind as the two eyed each other.

Kagome jumped from foot to foot in the elevator, her emotions a swarm of GAH! Angry or embarrassed or horny or furious or ACK! The elevator door opened on Ikeda's floor, and suddenly she drew in a loud, deep breath. Second time I've left my apartment tonight to do Ikeda's bidding. Uncaring at this point, she shot off down the hall, keeping track of the numbers of the apartments on her way. Suddenly, she passed an ice machine, had time to think, woah, this floor has an ice machine? That's hardly fair, before a bump in the rug sent her crashing down in a cloud of angry snarls and black hair. Her face dragged along the carpet for a few moments, her hair frizzed up where it was touching the rug, and her ankle twisted slightly. She laid there when it was over, silent, for several moments.
Then screamed as loud as she could into the floor.

Ironically, at that exact moment a banshee wail sounded somewhere above and a bit to the left of Sesshoumaru, and he looked up, providing Taro (who was dangling from one giant demon paw wrapped around his left hind leg) with the advantage. Sesshoumaru dropped the little furball immediately after he felt the shock of the welts on his hand. The cat ran away as fast as possible, ducking into a small, dark place. Guerrilla warfare was the only thing that'd work for this fight.
Kagome stood, brushed herself off, and resumed her trek down the hall at a much slower pace; in big part because of the limp she was now sporting. Finally she arrived at apartment 256. Filled almost with�anticipation?�she inserted the key, threw the door open, stepped inside, and turned on the lights�
�Only to be met with a next-to-empty living room, minimalistic in design. There was a chair and a couch, both done in black leather with chrome accents, and a TV. Oh, and a table, and a vase. Also, one picture. She pouted. It would've been awesome if Ikeda had underwear and pizza boxes thrown all over his apartment, because then she could make fun of the tight-ass. Seriously. I want to mess this place up because its so damn clean. She shut the door and took off her shoes, eager to snoop�get his pants. Maybe he's really strange and he keeps his pants in his kitchen! I wouldn't want to take more time than necessary because I didn't check there! So� I'll just check there first. She grinned and set off. After stumbling into the large swinging door that separated the kitchen from the living room thanks to her ankle, Kagome had to pout. His kitchen was bigger than her's. Exceptionally bigger. Dick, she mentally spat. You don't even look like you eat. To prove a mental point, she threw open a cabinet and was unsurprised to find it empty. Yeah, that's what I thought, skinny bastard.
She sighed and shut the kitchen lights off, ending her tour and walking into his bedroom fully expecting it to be as empty as the living room. It was not.

A couple swords hung above his king-size bed, old scrolls and paintings decorated the walls, and the faint smell of incense permeated the air. That, however, was not what stopped her cold. The zebra-print fur throw on his bed was what did that. It was just so� un-Ikeda. It was�it was� "Freakin hilarious!" Kagome burst out, bending over and laughing hysterically. An image of Ultra-Super-Mega-Bachelor Ikeda suddenly came to her, and she saw him in a zebra-print banana hammock reclined Abercrombie & Fitch style on his zebra-print throw fur, beckoning seductively with some jazz in the background. The sheer force of the merriment brought her to her knees. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," she panted, still giggling between words a couple minutes later. Finally, she sighed happily and stood, careful about her left ankle. She slid open the closet door, grabbed the first pair of pants she saw, and left the room with one more Cheshire grin at the zebra fur.
Down the hall, stationed in front of the ice machine, Ayumi's eyes suddenly lit up excitedly, because of course she knew which door was Ikeda's. Do you think she actually needed ice the thousands of times she'd travelled up to this machine? Hell no. She smiled, smoothed her hair and dress, and faced the humming machine with a renewed since of purpose. When she heard the door click softly shut, she turned with a sultry grin�and almost fell over.
Kagome looked up slowly, still grinning. Ah, zebra-print banana hammock, you will be my friend when I'm down for years! I love��aw fuck. Their eyes met, and Ayumi had time to take in Kagome's mussed hair, slight limp, and red face (Sesshoumaru, MY Sesshoumaru, did doggy-style with THAT so hard she has carpet burn on her FACE! Ayumi's mind screamed in agony) before she was filled with such an overwhelming mix of rage and agony she could hardly breathe. Kagome gulped, glanced behind the wall of scorned, pissed off woman to give the elevator a longing long, before facing The Fury (because that's Mrs. Yamamoto's name from now on�Lord, that look she's giving me could stop a herd of zebras�Pff! Hahahahahahahaha!) head-on. Except now her face was twitching with the urge to chortle.
Ayumi's fist clenched at the obvious attempt of Higurashi to hide her haughty expression.
The two eyed each other as Kagome pressed herself against the wall opposite The Fury and scuttled along, trying to get around her without a confrontation.
Kagome's luck was having none of that.
Ayumi released a war screech, jumped across the gap separating them, and grabbed a fistful of her rival's hair. Kagome screamed too, in fear, and tried to run over a list in her head of mental good-byes. I love you Taro, Miroku, Shippou, Sango�OW BITCH�Jinenjii, Souta, grandpa, uhg�mom�GAH, "FUCK!" A couple doors opened and curious neighbors stuck their heads out, thoroughly confused as to why these two women were apparently fighting over ice.

A few feet underneath them, Sesshoumaru and Taro both turned to the ceiling with pensive looks on their faces. Suddenly they'd heard a battle cry and now it sounded almost like Higurashi was�praying? Chanting? A series of loud bangs began, and Sesshoumaru's eyes lit up with knowledge. That was the sound a head makes when it collides with an ice machine (Inuyasha's head made the exact same sound�). Hn. It would seem that the Yamamoto woman had tried her usual method of waiting for him, and instead got a hold of Higurashi. His eyebrows drew together slightly. To intervene or not to intervene? The banging stopped and he thought for a moment his decision had been made, until the ceiling above him suddenly vibrated most the building and a new set of screams were unleashed.
He sighed, glanced down at his nearly naked lower half (then shrugged, because A- he had nothing to be ashamed of and B- he had on underwear at least), and walked out the door to rescue Higurashi.
When he got to the actual fight, he was most certainly shocked.
The first thing one had to take in was the obscene amounts of flesh showing, mostly Higurashi's. Second was the line of spectators leaning on their doorjambs, mostly male, offering the occasional shout. And, finally, Higurashi was kicking ass. Presently she had Yamamoto's arms behind her back and was sitting on her spine, her eyes screwed shut and with a panicked expression twisting her face. "Look lady, I don't want to be doing this, but you attacked me!" She yelled, and Sesshoumaru mentally patted himself on the back for being able to accurately guess at the situation while being on a separate floor.
Yamamoto got an arm free and managed to buck Kagome off, tossing her into the ice machine once again, which had clearly been moved back several inches despite being (poorly) bolted to the ground. The older woman released yet another cry and jumped after her prey, and Kagome was too dazed at this point to properly defend herself. Sesshoumaru sighed and stepped in.
With one grab to the back of Ayumi's collar he held her up until her feet were no longer touching the ground and leveled her with his most disgusted glare. Ayumi's fury died a sudden death in the face of Ikeda. She whimpered and hung her head until Sesshoumaru set her back on the ground behind him and turned to Kagome. Ayumi's spirits were momentarily skyrocketed when the demon lord bent down in front of her in only his underwear�but then they immediately plummeted when she realized why he was in his underwear. Kagome, still dazed, was proving less than coherent. Sesshoumaru sighed again, threw her over his shoulder, picked up his keys and pants from where they'd fallen and sauntered toward his apartment with one last glare at Ayumi.

Ayumi watched them with a tear in one blackened eye.

When Kagome became aware of that she was, in fact, alive, she couldn't help but let out an excited whoop and pump her fist. She did not expect her fist to come in contact with Sesshoumaru's junk. "I'm sorry!" She yelled immediately, eyes wild.

And thus not only was he in terrible pain from the punch, but the squeaky way her voice came out made his ears itchy. Originally, Sesshoumaru's plan had been to stand next to her prone body and wait until she woke up to deliver some cutting, artfully executed remark about her lack of class. Now he was just trying not to collapse on her head.
Kagome realized belatedly she was lying on his couch, in his apartment, with him holding onto the back of the couch for support. Which lead Ikeda to be bent over her torso, his long hair brushing her skin (which she just noticed was severely more exposed than it was an hour ago) on her arms and torso. He's doing an impressive job of holding back the pain, she mused, impressed that the only real outward signs of his discomfort were his position and the curious way his eyes were screwed shut, one eyebrow twitching intermittently.
She was happy to note that he had managed to put pants on while she was out. A straight punch to his balls with nothing but tight underwear separating her hand and his skin might've kept her up many a night.
Finally, a long breath left him, and he opened his eyes.
Kagome sank a bit further into the couch, nervously twirling a few strands of hair around her fingers. Apparently she had yet to notice it wasn't her hair.

"You got into a fight with Yamamoto."
"�Well she started it."
"Are you proud of yourself?"
Before she could really catch herself she blurted, "She deserved it! She almost raped y-" But the way his hand tightened on the couch above her and his one (damn fucking!) eyebrow rose stopped her. "I mean no. Look, I tried to avoid it, but I was limping and I had bed-head and my face was red so I guess she thought I was coming out of your apartment because we just had some kind of sick, demented session of unbridled�"

"Sex."
"�yeah, so she just LUNGED like a freakin'�"

"�madwoman�"

"And I didn't even know old married women could move that fast!" She figured now would be a bad time to mention her theory that Mrs.Yamamoto was, in fact, a vampire.

Sesshoumaru 'hm'd' and wrapped a hand around most of the top part of her head.

"What the hell are you do�OW." He sighed and straightened, then disappeared into the kitchen. Kagome sat up after reclaiming her personal space and groaned at the various uncomfortable sensations all over her body. Then, she looked down at herself, and immediately wished she hadn't. Half my fucking shirt is gone! Yamamoto will pay. The heavy sound of the swinging door sounded again and Kagome looked around in horror for something to cover herself up with. In desperation she snatched the cushion from the chair next to her and hugged it, trying not to meet Ikeda's eyes. Or cry. Maybe both.

Sesshoumaru smirked. "Funny."
"What is?" Came Kagome's muffled voice from the pillow.
"How I have not been fully dressed ten minutes and you are already mostly stripped. Are you attempting to peer pressure me into nudity, Higurashi?"
Kagome ignored the majority of that sentence, and shot up off the couch to stand in front of him, one finger pointed at him with overwhelming glee. Sesshoumaru's eyes widened, wondering where he'd went wrong with that. "Ah-ha! You just called me your peer! As in your equal. Haha! And you can't take it back!"

An eyebrow began twitching again. Curses. Sesshoumaru's ego punched him in the ear from its place in his shoulder. Silently, Sesshoumaru placed the ice-pack he'd gone to the kitchen to retrieve on her head. "I did not mean�"
"Shut up, demon lord. You admitted we're equals and you cannot back out of it unless you feel up to admitting your weakness in your verbal defenses and that I am, unquestionably, the witticism master of your helpless soul."
He grabbed her still extended finger and used it to yank her forwards so she was pressed against him in one move that was so fast she couldn't see straight. "Demons do not have souls."

"Kagome's do not have warranties," she muttered weakly, still dizzy and faint.

Ayumi barely made it back to her apartment.

Daisuke looked up from his place on the couch when she walked in and was torn between the urge to laugh and�well, laugh harder. "What did you do? Get stuck in the ice machine? �And where's the ice? You know you never come back with ice when you say you're going to get�"

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" And with that, she bee-lined to the bathroom. Daisuke followed, knocking on the door.

"Seriously what happened? Ayumi?"

She turned the facet on and tried not to sob at the sight of the vicious black eye she now had. Daisuke continued questioning her through the door. Sighing, she began tenderly washing her face, lower lip trembling the whole time. I�may have overreacted� Ayumi acknowledged, shedding her tattered blouse. But I've been fighting for months for his attention and�!

Something was wrapped around her ankle?

Confused, she looked down to see a shapeless glowing green blob trying to absorb her ankle, while somehow managing to give the appearance it was leering up at her bare leg.

For the�sixth? Seventh?�time that night a scream shook the apartment complex.

She started kicking angrily, trying to throw it off, while Daisuke's knocking grew harder and more demanding.

At the sound of the shriek from below them, Kagome jumped in surprise, fell away from Ikeda, tripped over his coffee table and barely managed to land on her ass on the couch. Sesshoumaru blinked and decided to hold his silence at her horrible clumsiness, his negative feelings towards her fading away at the great panty shot he was getting thanks to her ruined attire. Hm, puppies this time�those are nice.
Kagome huffed and blew her bangs out of her face then straightened herself up, and Sesshoumaru frowned minutely. Kagome saw it and glared, "Look, I'm sorry I'm human and klutzy, alright?!" He nodded distractedly. She sighed, shifted, and blinked, unbelieving when the ice pack fell from her head onto her lap. Seriously? After all that it still stayed on? She shook her head and met Ikeda's slightly glazed stare sheepishly. "Um. Can I borrow some clothes to get to my apartment? I'll return them washed tomorrow. I promise."
Sesshoumaru finally responded, "No. I did not get to return to my apartment fully clothed, it is only fair you suffer the same indignity."

Kagome sputtered and flailed for a few minutes, which afforded Ikeda another rather pleasing view. "I was attacked!"

He sniffed, "Your house rat attacked me, as well."

"HE'S A CAT. That's ridiculously less impressive than being thrown head-first into an ice machine that's older than I am! They made ice machines out of way harder material back then, dick!"

"Exactly how far back are we referring? �You do appear to have peaked a number of�"

"GAH. Shut up. I'm not that old. And besides, women peak sexually in their 30's. For your information, guys peak when they're like 19 and we both know you are waaaaay past nineteen. Jerk."

Sesshoumaru studied his claws arrogantly, "You are speaking of humans. Demons live most their lives at the top of the arc of their sexual peaks."

Kagome sputtered, eyes wide, then stopped. And thought about it. Then couldn't help but nod. Well�considering the demons I've been with�okay, that's a fair statemen. Instead of admitting it, though, she raised her nose in the air and turned away from him. "You can't live in that imaginary arc if your sexual peak is a horizontal line."

Ikeda's eyebrow rose, "Again, you are questioning my prowess without even�"

"And there you go again, trying to seduce this potentially homicidal woman you've even called a whore! Your sick."

Ikeda growled. "Your mental health would vastly improve if you could just accept you wish to ravage this�"

"I don't ravage grown men who throw gaudy fake fur on their beds."

Sesshoumaru almost stumbled. Strange, as he wasn't moving. A barrage of disjointed thoughts flew through his wise, ancient mind, but the only bit of this wisdom he could force out of his mouth was, "Gaudy?" It sounded more parts incredulous than the scoffing tone he was aiming for. At Higurashi's arrogant quirk of her lips, his senses returned. "You would hardly be aware of the 'gaudiness' of my bedding if we were otherwise occupied."

Kagome was once again seized by a fit of unbelieving sputtering. "I-I-"

"I am sure your awkward and embarrassing joinings of past will prevent you from understanding what this one is saying."

"Okay, one- joinings isn't even a word! And two- they were NOT (all) awkward and embarrassing! I've had (a couple) "joinings" that went�awesome� So don't talk about things you can't understand! Besides, you've never tested my prowess and, you know what? It's pretty impressive. I've gotten some rather rave reviews."

"With all the practice you have had�"
"I AM NOT A WHORE!"

His only reply was to snort. Somehow, Kagome noted he still managed to make it look aristocratic. That did not erase the fact he was a big walking pile of bullshit. She stood and marched up to him, still limping, head woozy. Anger was her fuel. "I hate you! You're just awful!"

"Certainly one of us is awful�"

Kagome released a high-pitched screech, "Do you treat everybody like this? I mean seriously! It's like there's nothing I can do to get even ONE nice thing to come out of your mouth! How about, 'Hey Kagome, you look rather swell for getting tossed into an ancient machine and dragged through the pits of scorned-woman-hell.' Or, 'wow, that headlock was impressive.' Instead all I get is�"

As her rant continued on, Sesshoumaru tuned her out, distractedly watching her mouth move, which was a bit fuller than usual thanks to a few hits Ayumi had given her. It was shiny, too. He liked to think that maybe it was also because of how much she was using it presently, but he'd be lying if he said he hadn't noticed how shiny her lips were a couple times before. Slowly, he processed the first part of what she was saying, the way her shirt was falling off her shoulder thanks to a tear and a vast amount of stretching, then curbstomped his ego for what he was about to do.

Grabbing her by the upper arms, he dragged her towards him for the second time that night, then slammed his lips unto her's.

At first it was a bit awkward, because she'd been in the middle of calling him some immature name and her mouth was a bit wider than socially acceptable to start a kiss off, but after blinking for several seconds at him, she decided it was only fair to reciprocate. The fingers of one of his hands pressed into her cheeks, and, in direct opposition of the rest of their relationship (angry and fast and biting), it was wet and slow and, well, it was still biting.

Later, Sesshoumaru would argue it was only to shut her damn mouth and to prove that good-nay, great things came from his mouth when he felt like it.

Kagome would blame blunt force trauma.

His morals piecing themselves back together when they separated for air, he blinked, resumed nipping at her mouth and slowly edged her towards the door, trying not to grin against her lips. Kagome only mewled, following, completely unaware and completely uncaring.

A quick shove and a cold breeze later and Kagome was looking at Ikeda's apartment number, outside in the hall. She could almost hear him chuckling.

She half growled, half screeched, then choked when she realized she was basically in her underwear and took off at a sprint towards her apartment, vowing revenge the whole way.

Ikeda smirked inside his bedroom and patted his zebra throw almost lovingly.

Kagome: You are a sadistic bastard.

Sesshoumaru: You need to invest in some chapstick.

Kagome: Now we both know you loved it, you prick!

Miroku: I think we all know you both loved it. To be fair, I loved it too. Mm.

Author: Well, it might take a while to get back in the groove of writing. But I fucking loved it, so� Ah, also, I don't have anyone checking my stuff so I'm sorry if there's ridiculous mistakes in it.
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Slip of the Tongue