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Difference between Wanting and Needing	By : bebejinx Category: InuYasha > General Views: 5235 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
- 7
- 8
Disclaimer: Plot
is mine. Characters and song are not.

A:N// I reserve
the right to change this chapter at any time if something comes up in the next.

ALSO: Please tell me what you think. Good or even bad
reviews would be very much appreciated.

Difference between Wanting and Needing

It�s the way

That he makes you feel

It�s the way

That he kisses you

It�s the way

That he makes you fall in love

-Sugarcult �Pretty Girl�

Snapshots

�I can tell you don�t want to be here.�

Inuyasha turned to the female voice floating behind his
knelt form. The line of his lips turning to a slight frown seeing that it was
just another girl waiting to get a charm or something just as silly. The
touring season always did make him grumpier �agitated. Every girl was the same,
giggling some nonsense about �pure love� and wanting a charm or a chant to say
to get that love.

This one standing behind him was just more perceptive,
less oblivious than the rest.

The young man simply grunted as a way of agreement before
turning back to his chore of organizing the tiny bells etched with Chinese
symbols. �Which one do you want?� he simply asked.

The small brush of air, pushing against his T-shirt
signaled that the girl had stepped closer to him. With a glance up, she was
standing at his side peering at the bells, �Do you know what these say?� she
asked.

Inuyasha looked up at the girl in surprise, turning his
real attention towards her for the first time and noticing her; �You can�t read
girl? Or are you not from here?� he asked. He knew he was probably being rude
but the day just had not gone well for him.

The girl with hair the color of the night with no moon
smiled at him before nipping at her bottom lip with pearl white teeth, �No I
lied. I just wanted you to turn around.�

===

Inuyasha lay beside someone he never thought he would.
Least of all in her room, surrounded by pictures of a life he had never been a
part of. He panted as he starred out the wall-size window on his side of the
room. The sun was near setting letting city lights take over and create an
artificial day. The gauzy drapes lifted with every swirl of wind that entered
through the open window.

It seemed so far away. The sound of the murmuring city,
the tapping of heels and low roar of trains, the push and pull of an
unrelenting chase for something more then he was really willing to go after.
None of it could enter through the cracked window though. It relaxed Inuyasha
nearly more then the sex. A separation from his life; that was what this time
meant. He would have to tell her sometime. He didn�t want to admit how much he
didn�t want to.

As she sat up, the fan of midnight surrounding him slinked
away to lie limp against her back, like a black waterfall frozen. The paleness
of her back seemed starker against that waterfall, the bones of her shoulder
blades jutting out slightly.

�We shouldn�t see each other anymore.� her voice was
quiet, but the silence of the room seemed to cause it to be too loud; too
abrupt.

Inuyasha sat up, confusion rising in him. �What?� he
simply asked his voice trying to hide what he thought he felt inside.

Her answer to his question was slow in coming like she was
thinking of the best way to put it, �I�m not sure.� She finally said, turning
to look at him. He could see that she was nervous; she always twiddled with
whatever was in her hand when she was talking about something she didn�t want
to. The thin cotton sheet in her hand looked like she was about to tear it, the
whiteness of the sheet a near match to the pale of her knuckles.

The fallout to his stomach was something Inuyasha was not
expecting. The heat of the room seem to intensify as he struggled to smoothly
swallow the words on the tip of his tongue; words that would have made her turn
away, would have made her walk away.

�What�s wrong?� he simply asked not really wanting to
know. He ran his fingers through his hair, flashes of her fingers going through
it still tingling his scalp. Letting out a sigh, he rested his arms on his
raised knees. And he had thought things had been settled at least for the mean
time.

She shook her head; he could see the indecision in the way
she looked away from him. She wasn�t thinking about her words, she was thinking
if she should tell him. She already knew what was wrong and to be honest he
knew too.

�This isn�t right. Us I mean.�

�Why do you think that?� It was the most honest answer he
could give her without being the first to say it. She had to say it. If anything were going to change she would have to be
the one to do it.

�Stop.� She said strength returning to her voice;
conviction and understanding replacing the question that had been in her voice
earlier. �Agree or disagree but no more questions.� She finished biting on her
words.

And already he was getting up and shuffling for his jeans;
it was him on automatic. He hadn�t told her anything, well at least the things
that mattered.

�Why are you the one to always walk away?� irritation
could be felt radiating off her near naked body.

�We always come to your place.� He said his voice muffled
as he pulled his blue t-shirt over his head.

�That�s beside the point.� She said shaking her head.
�Your mind� your feelings, they leave before your body ever does.�

�I am here Kikyo. You�re just so insecure about-�

�NO! It�s not like that and you know that.� Her voice
wasn�t shaking but the way she was clutching the bed sheet to her body told
Inuyasha enough. �Don�t bring up everyone else. I know I don�t make you happy.�

�Kikyo. Why would-�

�I don�t,� she continued as though he had never spoken.
�You are never happy� content. You only seem a fraction better when you�re fucking
me.� The venom in her voice stabbing into her curse word almost made him
flinch. Almost. Instead it just got him more pissed off.

�You don�t get it Kikyo.� Inuyasha said already halfway
across her tiny room, trying very hard to not to look at the distraught girl
watching every move he made.

�Then tell me what it is... please.� The last word drowned
by the sliding of her bedroom door.

===

�Hey.�

�Hey.�

�Can I come in?� Kikyo asked quietly not quite sure if he
would slam the door in her face. Inuyasha let her by him into his home before
closing the door and leaning against the door, watching and waiting.

�We need to talk�� She said simply more to the floor than
him, her arms crossed almost like a shield. She was biting on her lip again.
�Do you hate me?�

The short snort he gave should have been enough of an
answer but Inuyasha just wanted to make sure she completely understood, �What
do you think Kikyo?� Malice was dripping in his voice and souring his face.

Kikyo arms dropped to her side an almost irritated look in
her eyes, �I know how you feel about Lio but that doesn�t mean-�

�You were fucking hanging all over him Kikyo!� Inuyasha
yelled out, �Like a goddamn slut-�

�I am NOT! I was not all over him!� She yelled with an
outburst of emotion that Inuyasha had never witnessed. His eyes had widened at
her outburst before dropping as she continued, �That�s what a couple is Inuyasha.
They do more than-�

�You didn�t want that with me Kikyo.� It was true he
believed it and she knew it.

Kikyo�s hands balled into fists almost in a way to control
anger that Inuyasha had never seen in her before. �Because I knew I couldn�t
have it! You didn�t-�

�What makes you-�

�Let me finish!� She said stopping him. The anger dropped
to something more sympathizing, �You showed me that for two people to be
together they have to be whole. You aren�t. I can�t have that. I don�t want
that.�

�Did you even care?� His eyes falling to the big, black
scratch on his wood-paneled floor.

�Yes. I did. I still do.� She answered shoulders falling.

�Then why the fuck are you with him?� The rage had
dissipated to resemble a tired sadness.

�Because it isn�t enough. I know Inuyasha what it�s like
to not be happy with what you have. I need to be happy.� A near desperate plea
in her voice cut into him.

�Why can�t I make you happy?�

�Aren�t you listening? You�re never here with me.�
She said pointing a finger to her own head, not wanting to be close enough to
touch Inuyasha. �You�re always someplace else. I should be there but I�m not.
And it�s not fair to either of us.�

Kikyo had never needed his love.

�I never meant for it to end like this.� She said sadly,
her voice full of regret about him, them.

That was enough to tell him she had always meant for it to
end. And he cared and deep down he wished he didn�t.

===

�Then ask me something Kagome.�

�Like what?�

�I don�t know something.� his voice was edging unto anger,
as was his attitude. He could feel it in himself; he could see it riding in her
eyes. If only she hadn�t complained about them not knowing enough about each
other. They had been aware of each other�s existence, been in the same vicinity
and close proximity for years they had to know too much about each other
by this time.

But she had said no and he had the sneaking suspicion she
was taking notes of Miroku and Sango; the two who were attached at the hip
before they could properly say each other�s name.

�Uhm�okay okay.� She said tapping her forefinger against
her lip, clearly pondering just what she should say. After a moment of thinking
her eyes finally turned to him with a smile, �So what do you want to do after
you graduate?� the innocence of her expression of her voice a near perfect
fa�ade for the trouble that he knew was below the surface.

Inuyasha rolled his eyes with a sigh, she had asked him
this before and still he refused to give her an answer. �Kagome, didn�t we talk
about this before?�

�I know. But you won�t even tell me why you won�t tell me.
I mean don�t you think it�s �STOP.� She abruptly said, moving her head back
from Inuyasha swiftly approaching lips. �You kissing me to get off the subject
won�t work all the time.� She finished a fake frown drawn on her lips.

�Worth a try.� Inuyasha gave with a shrug of no
consequence.

�If you gave a reason I may stop asking.�

�I don�t want to tell because there is nothing to tell.
Kagome you have options after and I don�t. And I would just rather not think
about it now. I like now. Later can just wait. Was that good enough of an
answer?�

��Yea Inuyasha.� She said a small smile gracing her lips.
�Thank you.�

�For what?�

�For liking now.�

===

Kagome hadn�t said a thing about Inuyasha to Sango.

And she was pretty sure Inuyasha hadn�t said a thing to
Miroku� after all they were guys.

�You and Inuyasha have been
spending a lot of time together�� Sango said implying something. Although
Kagome knew just what her friend was suggesting.

�Why would you think that?�
Kagome said quickly but as coolly as possible, silently thanking the Gods that
they were on the phone. It was easier to lie over the phone line than in
person.

�Because for the past �three
weeks you two are always together.�

Oh that�s right. �Only
because of the Calc class. Really I don�t see how Miroku could stand someone
like Inuyasha for so long.�

��Oh. So what�s so bad about
him?� her friend asked nonchalantly.

�Nothing really�just he always
seems so �angry. Impatient, he doesn�t really concentrate either��

��So you don�t like Inuyasha?�
Sango asked again like she didn�t quite believe what she was hearing.

�Nope. He�s okay, but being
around him� I see why the two of us have never been so close.�

��

The silence worried Kagome. It
meant Sango was mulling over just what she had just said. �But I mean I like
the fact that we talk to each other now.� She quickly said hoping to cover a
blunder if she made one.

�But you don�t like him?�

�Sango, what is it?� Kagome asked
cutting to the core of just what Sango wanted to know.

Her friend was hesitant before
blurting out. �You don�t dislike Inuyasha because of Kikyo right?�

Aside for the corner of her
mouth dropping at the mention of her name, Kagome managed to keep her voice
friendly as she answered. �Why would you think that?�

�Kagome,� the girl could tell
her friend was smiling. �You�ve gotten mad at Miroku for lesser. You-�

�Sango. Everything�s fine
�really. Just believe me okay?� Kagome asked trying to force the cheerfulness.
Everything was fine but the longer they talked about�well the less fine it
would become.

�Sure Kagome. But you would tell
me right if it wasn�t okay?�

�Yes. Of course.�

===

They were stuck inside; listening to one another�s soft
breath as it broke the quiet hum of the turning fan. There was no crack of
thunder or stunning show of lightening to single the sudden fall of rain that
poured from skies that had recently been clear. Until the rain ended, they
would be each other�s entertainment.

But it just wasn�t going right at least for Inuyasha.
Because while he felt like speaking, say something �anything- to break the
stillness of the tiny room they were in, a sudden silence had befallen Kagome.

It wasn�t until now that Kagome realized that her bedroom
walls weren�t actually white but more cream, like a white that had been mixed
with just enough gray to darken it but not really change it. She looked up to
the cutout paper flowers that she remembered sticking to the ceiling with
Sango. It had been the summer; her mother hadn�t been working and had decided
to get two little girls� minds off the heat with creating as many different
colored flowers as possible. There were blue ones and pink ones; copper orange
ones stuck in the middle of blooming and even dark red ones that Sango always
said were dying.

�What are you doing?�

�I should paint my room,� she said absently twirling
another strand of his hair and her hair around her finger.

�Why do you always do that?�

�What?�

�Play with my hair. I would understand if you were bald
but� you have your own.� She could hear the amusement in his voice. She could
imagine the smile on his lips and the light in his eyes at finding something
funny.

�You ask that a lot.� She said instead of answering his
question. It was true. This had to be the fourth time he had asked her.

�You do it a lot.�

�I don�t know� I like your hair.�

�But it�s just like yours.�

�No,� she said sitting up to look at him and shake her
head, �It�s not.� She watched as he too sat up. �It�s so long,� she added.

�My mom liked it this way.� He said shrugging. �Sometimes
�she said my hair was too beautiful to cut.�

Looking into his eyes, Kagome realized that now was a
moment to remember. How his eyes weren�t just dark brown but had violet so dark
it was barely there. Just how long and dark his eyelashes were and when one
fell, just how perfectly it curled rested against the pale skin of his cheek.
Her eyes drifted down the strong line of his nose before dropping down to the tiny
scar that was so small, on his chin.

�What?� Inuyasha asked just noticing how long Kagome was
staring at him.

�How did you get that scar?�

�What scar?�

�Right here.� She said softly reaching up to trace the
tiny puckered line with a nail.

�Oh.� He whispered feeling a twitch as her nail glided
over his skin. �I don�t know. Falling out of a tree�tripping up the stairs, a
cat, a dog. I don�t even remember having it.� he finished, faltering at the end
as her hand came up to caress his cheek.

The only thought slipping through Inuyasha�s mind as he
felt Kagome�s hand flit along the side of his face was how long it had been
since... She was still staring at him before opening her mouth, �You�ve been
hurt a lot haven�t you?� her voice this peculiar mix of sadness and
understanding.

He nodded and Inuyasha knew she wasn�t just talking about
the scar on his outside.

It�s the way

That he makes you cry
It�s the way

That he�s in your mind

It�s the way

That he makes you fall in love

-Sugarcult �Pretty Girl�
- 7
- 8
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Difference between Wanting and Needing

Disclaimer: Plotis mine. Characters and song are not.

A:N// I reservethe right to change this chapter at any time if something comes up in the next.

Difference between Wanting and Needing

Disclaimer: Plot
is mine. Characters and song are not.

A:N// I reserve
the right to change this chapter at any time if something comes up in the next.