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Journey of the Heart	By : HauntedReality Category: InuYasha > General Views: 3798 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor make money from this story.

Chapter List
- 8
- 9
- 10
Journey of the Heart: Chapter 9 - Regrets

DISCLAIMER: Inuyasha and his companions are not mine to own.

-ooo-oooooo-ooo-

He was young and foolish.

He was supposed to have been home almost an hour ago, but he
had stopped to play a prank on his friends Ginta and Hakkaku. He knew his
mother would scold him for his tardiness, but it was worth it to see the look
on their faces. To say they were gullible was an understatement, and it was
practically his sworn duty as wolf prince to teach them the error of their
ways. So when he convinced them there was a wish-granting oracle in the fallen
tree trunk when there was really a raccoon who wasn�t at all amused at being
disturbed, it was really more of a service to his tribe than a mean trick.

�Kouga! Kouga! Get over here right now, young wolf!� called
a melodious, but slightly agitated voice.

A whirl of dust kicked up and then immediately settled back
down to reveal a small boy with a lopsided grin and long unmanageable dark
hair, sporting an equally annoyed countenance. �I�m right here, Mom. You don�t
have to call for me so that everyone
can hear.�

The older female wolf demon was firm with her son, but she
couldn�t help the twinge of a smile that threatened to peak through at his
childish attempt at sounding mature. �If you were back in the den when I told
you to be I wouldn�t have to embarrass you.�

She dipped down to a crouching position to have better
access to the unruly obsidian hair, emerging from behind her son�s headband.
She tucked the stray strands away as he fidgeted, trying to break free.

�Aww, Mom.� He swiped his hands through his hair until it
was once again wild and free just like his irrepressible spirit.

His mother swelled with a strange pride at her only child.
He was his father�s son, certainly. He was brash and bold and cunning, but he
was also fearless and charming. She knew Kouga would one day make an excellent
leader for their tribe, just as his father was currently. She only hoped his
reign would be free from the incessant attacks that marred their days and
nights.

The birds of paradise had been more daring recently. They
had been attacking small hunting packs with various results. Generally, they
were pretty evenly matched, but the birds lacked honor and their numbers were
more plentiful. It was just a matter of time before there was a battle that
resulted in heavy losses on both sides. And time was running out.

Scouts had reported back only moments before that a fleet of
birds of paradise had been spotted traveling directly for the wolf caves. She
didn�t want Kouga to stay. He was too young to fight and too old to be
convinced of that. She hid her anxieties behind a pleasant smile and patted his
head the way she loved to do. It always drove him into a fit, but she could
tell he enjoyed the attention.

�I need you to catch dinner tonight,� she said holding her
voice together through sheer force of will.

Kouga�s large eyes widened to the size of saucers. �Really?�
He had never been sent out to find dinner on his own before, and he practically
fell over from the new size of his head. �Can I bring back fish?�

A genuine smile replaced the artificial one she had crafted
to hide her concern. Her boy loved dining upon fish almost as much as his
father hated to eat it. Her mate had once even forbidden it from crossing their
palettes again, but every so often he would come home to a serving of fish. She
always claimed she had just forgotten how much he hated to eat it instead of
revealing that it was the request of their son. It was one of the special
secrets that she kept for him. Typically, she only served it on special
occasions of Kouga�s, but tonight she didn�t have the heart to refuse his
pleading crystal blue eyes.

And after all, if he survived the night it would be a
special occasion.

-ooo-oooooo-ooo-

He was old and foolish.

At least he felt old and helpless staring at her limp body.
He knew he was a fool. He should never have left her side. They knew next to
nothing about the world they were in except that it could be dangerous, and they
were there because of Naraku.

Kouga�s feet had pounded the earth mercilessly from the very
moment he felt Kagome might be in trouble. He didn�t notice the unnatural
absence of a dust cloud in his wake nor the way the
scenery blurred into an unrecognizable haze of landscape as he sped back to his
previous location.

Upon arriving, he saw no one, including the woman he cared
about above all others. However, the torn up landscape was a clear indication
of a recent battle. As he readied himself for another jaunt to seek her out his
keen sense of smell detected what his eyes had missed--blood.

The metallic twang of the scent sent bile racing from his
stomach into the back of his mouth. The smell was unmistakable. It was Kagome�s
blood. Wasting no time, he raced to the source and discovered Kagome wrapped
unceremoniously around the trunk of a large tree.

The normally vivacious girl looked pale and broken. Her
naturally rosy cheeks were sallow, and her typically sparkling eyes were sealed
shut behind unwavering lids.

Kouga knelt by her unmoving form. He
released the breath he hadn�t realized he was holding when he detected she was
still alive--even if she was not conscious.

-ooo-oooooo-ooo-

It wasn�t moving.

If there were fish swimming around in the stream then they
weren�t causing any ripples because the water was as still as it could be. At
least as still as it could be considering the three wolf demons carefully
surveying its surface by standing waist-deep in the wet expanse.

Kouga had been only slightly upset when his mother instructed
him to take Ginta and Hakkaku along on his quest for the night�s meal. As much
as he teased and harassed the awkward pair of wolf demons he also secretly
enjoyed having them around. They were naive, but no one could ask for more
devote loyalty.

�Hey, I caught one!� Ginta called out as a large mouthed
fish wiggled between his clawed fingers. The young wolf youkai was so excited
at being the first one successful in obtaining their scaly prey that he paid
too much attention to showing off and too little to keeping a good grip on the
squirming body.

As it flopped back into the water and vigorously swam away
from its would-be captors all Hakkaku could do was laugh.

�Come on, stop messing around! We�ve already been out here
forever. Concentrate!� demanded the young prince as his watchful eyes skimmed
the surface of the stream, searching for a likely target.

Muttering under his breath, Ginta pouted. �Not like you�ve
caught one yet.�

On a normal day of helping his father track down game Kouga
was very skilled at the hunt, but today he felt a great deal of pressure to do
well, and it was making his fishing technique sloppy.

Seeing something enormous idly swim by his legs, Kouga
immediately plunged his small but strong arm into the crisp water. Clasping his
fingers around what seemed to be an unusually long fish, he withdrew it from
the stream only to discover it was not a fish at all.

His little hand was firmly holding a very angry looking sea
snake youkai by the tail.

The snake�s head darted at Kouga. Its fangs were bared and
it was aiming for a kill, but the young prince managed to avoid its strike just
in time even though standing hip deep in water was significantly impeding his
normally swift movements.

�Let go!� Ginta and Hakkaku both cried out in unison.

Kouga dodged another near fatal attack before realizing he
was still dumbly gripping the snake�s tail. Instead of letting go, it gave him
an idea.

As the snake launched at him a third time Kouga dropped low
into the water causing the incensed predator to pass directly over his head
very quickly. Then as the confused snake continued hurling away, Kouga planted
his feet as firmly as he could to the rock bed of the stream and swung his arms
forcefully and released the tail. Using the snake�s own momentum he managed to
send him flying off the bank and straight into a boulder. The last part was
more of a happy accident than anything, but Kouga would never admit that when
relating the tale for years to come.

The scaly demon was motionless for a moment before stirring.
It shook its bruised head and turned back to see the blur of a pack of wolf
demons. At least, the snake believed it was a pack with the sudden onset of
double-vision. Wanting no more to do with wolf demons, blurry or otherwise, it
slithered back into the stream and zoomed away.

�You did it!� Hakkaku exclaimed while jumping up and down.

�That was amazing!� Ginta enthusiastically agreed.

Kouga�s arms and legs burned with the strain of having
expended so much energy and power. His heart was throbbing wildly inside his
chest from all the adrenaline still coursing through him, and his lungs
struggled to regain a normal breathing pattern. �Oh that? It was nothing.�

-ooo-oooooo-ooo-

Nothing.

She seemed like she should be responding to his coaxing, but
her normally blazing cinnamon eyes were still hidden from view. For the time
being it seemed there was nothing he could do.

He felt powerless.

He knew enough about humans and the treatment of injuries to
know it was not wise to move her, but he couldn�t help but cradle her head on
his lap as he stroked her hair. Small strands clung to her delicate cheek
stubbornly as his fingers carefully arranged them behind her ears.

There were no visible major wounds. There was blood on her
palms and her right knee from scrapes, but they had stopped flowing and
appeared worse than they actually were. Her cheek was scratched, but not
seriously. The most evident injury was on her ankle which had swollen
significantly and taken on a bruised appearance, sporting a variety of colors.

He wanted to wash away the blood and dirt from her normally
flawless skin, but that would require water at the very least, and he was not
about to leave her sight again. The minor injuries were clotted and no longer a
concern, so he only continued to watch the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest
that ensured her continued life.

It wasn�t the wounds he could see that bothered him so much.
They could all be treated once they were able to move to a nearby spring and
she would be no worse for wear. But with her still unconscious he had no way of
knowing what was happening inside her body. He had heard of humans bleeding on
the inside until they died.

His breath froze in his throat. He couldn�t watch Kagome die
in his arms. No one should watch a woman they love die, and they definitely
shouldn�t have to do it twice.

-ooo-oooooo-ooo-

The gathered fish fell and scattered upon the dry, cracked
earth.

Kouga�s large sapphire eyes soaked in the death and devastation
laid out before them. Dark crimson wolf blood was splattered upon torn gray feathers.
Youkai bodies were mangled and strewn about the normally peaceful and beautiful
landscape in tattered heaps.

The acrid scent of blood attacked his senses and overwhelmed
him. Kouga found himself doubled-over, releasing the
contents of his stomach onto a fallen tree which had obviously been slashed
down in the midst of battle.

After the run in with the sea snake youkai Kouga felt
invincible. He caught fish with a renewed vigor, and it wasn�t long before they
had collected a bundle large enough to feed several members of the pack--not
just his own family. He had marched back with a huge grin, spreading ear to
ear, but as they grew closer to the wolf caves it was obvious something was
terribly amiss.

Now, his suspicions were horrifyingly confirmed. No one was
still standing in the open lands below the caves.

The three youths staggered through the killing field in
silence, taking a mental toll of who they saw lying cold and still. Their
mentors were all here. The brave warriors they looked up to and adored for
their skills and heroism were bloodied, beaten, and broken.

Another wave of sickness rose up in Kouga�s throat as one
body in particular came into view, but he suppressed the urge to relieve it
this time. His short legs, wrapped in furs, only pulled him inevitably closer
to the dead wolf demon a few paces away.

Kouga�s entire body shook uncontrollably as he stood over
the remains of the man who used to be his father and the leader of the wolf
tribe. Tears stung the back of his eyelids, but he refused to cry. His father
never cried, and he was determined not to show weakness in front of him
now--even if the eyes staring back at him were hollow and void of the lust for
life they used to possess.

A hand on his shoulder reminded him there was more to see,
and the three friends continued toward the dens.

The piercing eyes of a decapitated bird of paradise seemed
to watch them as they journeyed forward. Its enormous fang filled mouth was
curled into a knowing smirk. Kouga felt like it was mocking him. It was too
much for the young prince to bear quietly.

Suddenly breaking the sullen, melancholy pace he had been
keeping, he furiously attacked the dead enemy. His fits flew against the
severed head. It sent a cloud of feathers into the surrounding area, choking
his throat and stinging his eyes in the process. In a final effort he grabbed a
broken tooth that had been knocked loose at some point while it was still alive
and jabbed it into the bird�s taunting eye.

Kouga�s arms dripped with a slightly violet colored blood,
but he didn�t care. His futile actions had somehow put the anger of his
father�s death on hold. In its place a torrent of concern washed over him.

He sprinted to the dens, desperately searching for his
mother. Ginta and Hakkaku were close behind him, but he wasn�t paying
attention. His thoughts were consumed by the overpowering need to find his
mother as quickly as he could. It was as if he instinctively knew he was almost
too late.

He skirted through the remaining members of the pack. Those
in the best condition were treating and comforting those on the brink of death.
One such patient was lying in dim lighting at the far corner of the cave in a
private den. It was the space reserved for the pack leader and his family.

One of the older tribal women was holding her fragile
looking hand as Kouga approached. Her sympathetic eyes told him everything he
needed to know--he was about to lose his mother too.

�Kou...ga,� she said in a shaky
voice. She strained herself to open her heavy eyelids, revealing brilliant
emerald eyes. Her long, silky raven hair spread out around her like a halo as
she lay on a soft bed of furs. A thick blanket mercifully covered her body,
hiding the worst of her wounds from sight.

�Did you...catch a....fish?� she asked, pausing for the
occasional gasp of air.

He wanted to cry. He wanted to go back out and kill every
bird of paradise he found. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her and how
much he needed her to stay. He wanted to save her. But he couldn�t, so he
tucked her weak hand into his small palm and held it tightly. �I caught lots of
fish, Mom.� His words wavered only slightly as he spoke.

�I...knew you...would. You...will make...a fine lea...der just....like....your....�

The last word never came as her eyelids slipped closed for
the last time. The tears he hid from his father soaked into her blanket as he
buried his face against her neck. He was sure she would never tell. It was the
kind of secret mothers kept for their sons.

-ooo-oooooo-ooo-

Kouga�s face was nestled against
the top of Kagome�s head as he continued to hold the unconscious girl. He had
been unable to escape the haunting memories plaguing him. Once again, he had
been away when someone he loved needed him. He was so engrossed in feelings of
regret and guilt that he almost missed the small sound that escaped from the
girl in his arms.

Craning his neck to gaze upon her face, he watched as her
eyes began to twitch beneath the closed lids until slowly the lashes separated,
exposing hazy, dark eyes. Blinking a few times, the sparkle rejuvenated within
her.

�Kouga?� she said with a slightly hoarse undertone.

He knew he should be gentle with her, but all rational
thought had been sent spiraling away as she spoke his name again. He pulled her
tightly against his chest and crushed his lips to hers.

At first, her eyes opened wide with surprise, but as his
warm lips massaged her lips; her rational thoughts flew off to join his far,
far away.

-ooo-oooooo-ooo-

AUTHOR�S NOTE: Kouga had very little face time in the last
chapter, but I made up for it this time around!

FF Reviewers: Chaos-and-Serenity (So many questions, so
little time to write chapters...but I will get there slowly but surely. Thanks
for reading!), Nichole Hibiki (I think Kouga is probably feeling pretty open right now), VangieGirl (I�m glad I inspired procrastination in others!
Fluff on its way), Imagenation Queen (No, I don�t
think he likes that he did that either), nunofyorbiz
(She is already dead!), ahanchan (Arigato!), Nikolyta (There will be more on the Inuyasha
troop soon. Kouga just needed a big spotlight this
time), southstar (Thanks, you are cool for
reviewing!), SquirrelLou (I�m slow, but determined!
Updates will keep coming!), SailorKagome (Still not
much interaction, but lots of Kouga at least!),
Iridescent Twilight (I love your penname. She needs to be with Kouga every so often I think. Though I�m endeavoring to
write a sympathetic Inuyasha just so everyone can
feel all angsty and conflicted over it. Why do I do
that?), Angel6582 (I�ll send some fluffiness your way next chapter. This was
more the tear-jerker chapter), BlackRose725503 (I�ll make sure to let the
current #1 know about her reassignment. :)), Gloomy Goddess (High praise,
indeed. Thanks for your kind words), BelleDayNight (*blush*
favorite? me? Seriously, thanks for reading this over and giving me your
thoughts. I was frantic to get some initial feedback!)

AFF Reviewers: Fairia13 (You probably won�t be able to read
this for a while, but thanks for all your help with this story so far. I hope
you enjoyed this chapter even though it missed the benefit of your assistance),
Gem (If you liked Kouga�s depth then this chapter was
for you! And *ahem* you may have figured something important out there. Shhhhh), Kari (aww, I know it is
weird to be excited about making someone cry, but I love that it was touching
for some readers at least. And anything that can make someone laugh can�t be
all bad. Thanks!)

MM Reviewers: Twilight Myst (Yea!
Someone from MediaMiner reviewed!!!! Seriously
though, thanks that means a lot)

Kouga�s Den Readers: Feel free to
e-mail me reviews at wastedthoughts @ insightbb.com (remove spaces).
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Journey of the Heart